Captain Bunmerica saves The Fourth of July!

-Featuring Foxcon!

(For Cimar)

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A Zoo-S Government public safety and information production.

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The screen flickered to life as the trumpets played and title rolled, before a sweeping vista was shown. Up on high sandstone rocks, vivid reds washed light orange via the sepia camera tint, Captain Bunmerica jumped up and stood tall, her blue uniform -complete with spandex bodysuit, winged blue crash helmet, and her trademark shield all on full display. Looking down, she took in the sweet slice of small town Zoomerica, complete with sprawling suburbia, that spread out below like a slice of apple pie, and smiled before looking at the camera. "Hello fellow citizens, Captain Bunmerica here. You know, when out fighting the bad guys I often ask what it's all about. But you see, down there, is the answer."

And with that she hopped off the overlooking ledge, and was soon jogging through the town. Rumbling old furd pickups and zebrolets drove past, their friendly drivers giving a wave, while children outside playing, doing yardwork, or helping their parents with the grill pointed at her and cheered. Many came up, and she was soon signing her name, complementing a young raccoon girl on how pretty she was, and reminding a pig boy to make sure he used sunscreen given his bare pink skin without fur to protect it. "After all," she reminded them, "it's the start of summer. Plenty of time off for you, but plenty of things to remember too. And then she turned to the camera and nodded. "And that includes you too, good citizen. Especially when it comes to fireworks."

Whatever she was going to say next though was cut off, her ears jumping up. She looked over and pointed, eyes widening. "Hang on, here comes my faithful brother in arms, Foxcon."

Indeed, zipping across the sky, as if on wires, came Foxcon himself, dressed in his red and white stuntman like suit, complete with wings on his arms.

Captain Bunmerica smiled as he jogged up to her and smiled. "Fancy seeing you here, I just thought I'd get some lemonade." He then looked over to see two bighorn sheep at a lemonade stand.

"Well, we can always support young entrepreneurs while catching up," Bunmerica said, the two walking over and paying for some drinks. "We were just about to talk about the responsibilities of using fireworks, seeing as the fourth of July is coming up."

And at that, Foxcon's expression faded. "Well as you can guess my sour expression isn't just from this delicious drink. You see, this town may well ban fireworks coming up."

Captain Bunmerica blinked. "But why? They can't just do that?"

"Well, we can do democratically as part of our Great Zoo-S tradition. But it seems though that a maligned influence is manipulating the people of this town in order to ban them."

"But who would do that?"

Foxcon crossed his arms. "Who do you think would want to try and disrupt the celebration of our nations freedom and independence?"

Bunmerica's gaze hardened. "Of course. The Red Bull."

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After a short interlude of running down various highly similar streets, the pair found themselves at the edge of a crowd in the town square, all looking on at the speaker in the gazebo. There, speaking out of his megaphone, was a giant red bull in a black uniform, beckoning out to the crowd. "Und vee must ban zee fireverken immediately! I tell you now dat even bevore you vote, az I know many of you very clever mammals will do, dat ve vill have firewerken injury unt property damage! Those of zu not convinced now, just vatch out. If diese things have happened ven you go to vote, then vy vould you not vote to ban them and stop more from occurring." He raised his right arm up high. "Heil Hirsch…-ey's schokolate. Ist sehr gut yah!"

The crowd murmured but at the back Captain Bunmerica and Foxcon looked at each other concerned, the fox speaking first. "I may not be able to eat chocolate and so can't tell about that last bit, but I'd say he's pulling something over them." He pointed at his nose. "I can sniff something fishy."

And then he turned to the camera. "In fact, I can smell far more than just fish. Vulpine species like mine are endowed with a heightened sense of smell, as are many canines and porcines. However, while our gift is well known, many other species also posse great noses. Elephants, bears, rats, a number of cat species. While used for years in basic folk-remedies, modern science can greatly benefit from those able to track and detect diseases. Did you know that we can train mammals to detect both deadly diseases and numerous types of cancers, allowing us to operate super early and giving us our first chance at fighting this terrible disease? Meanwhile, while wolves sniffing streams for gold in the wild west may have just been a myth, traces of other critical minerals can be detected olfactory. Other major applications include police work, farming, petrochemicals and so much more. In fact, we quite simply do not have enough mammals to fill these roles. So, if you're a young mammal not sure what to do with their life, a housewife whose children are older and wants to help bring some more money in, or just someone looking for a career change, ask your local citizens advice bureau for this pamphlet and advice."

He held one up, the camera zooming in, before pulling back to him and Captain Bunmerica. "I can smell something too," she said. "The Red Bull has always aimed to bring out the worst in mammals, and I was here to help them with correct and proper use of pyrotechnics. If he wants to convince mammals to ban their use, he must be planning to influence mammals into using them improperly."

Foxcon nodded. "So we better see where he's up to and stop him."

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Old Huckletooth Flatfoot wiped the sweat off his brow as he walked in from his truck, carrying a big box of stuff. They'd be hard work to carry even if he weren't just a hare.

"Daddy, are those fireworks?"

"Those are fireworks."

"Fireworks!"

"We're gonna have a firework display!"

"Calm down," he called to his fluffle of kits, now jumping at his feet. "Yes, we're gonna set a few off."

The kids all binkied at once.

"Now calm down and get back to your chores. The lawn ain't mown, the washing is still out, the gutters need decluttering. -Git goin'."

"Aawwww," they moaned, and off they went, leaving their father with the heavy box. Manoeuvring inside, he looked up at the long staircase up to the top floor and then the hatch to the attic beyond. He'd normally store these things there out of the way of his kits, but maybe he could leave it somewhere downstairs instead.

"Yes," his internal voice said. "Do zat. You can trust your kidz!"

Odd, his internal voice sounded Grrrrman… Though then again so was his grandma, so it must have decided to express itself today for no particular reason. "Well, I don't trust my kids that much, but I suppose I can trust them enough to…"

His door was swung open as Captain Bunmerica and Foxcon ran in. "Hold on just there," she said. "I know it sounds fine to be lazy, but who knows what kits can get up to. It's always far better to be safe and sorry, and store them out of the way."

"I suppose," he said.

'Nein,' came his oddly accented new internal voice. 'Do not listen to those dumkoffs.'

"Well if anyone's the dumkoff it's you," Bunmerica spoke.

'I am not a dumkoff! Now put zee fireworks where there is a small chance zu kids will find them.'

Huckletooth Flatfoot blinked. "Hang on, that does sound like a thing a dumkoff would say."

'I am not a dumkoff!'

"Yeah you are you internal voice thing, you're the biggest one around and I'm gonna store this stuff in the attic." And off he went, Bunmerica and Foxcon looking at each other.

"Well," she said, "that solves that."

"But Red Bull must be close. Besides, it takes two to tango. Fox -away!" And with that off he raced out of the door, arms wide. He was soon flying straight across the sky, arms outstretched and rigid and his body dipping up and down slightly as he went. He soon laded on a windowsill, spotting a kit inside working on a model rocket.

'You know, you can use zee firewerken black powder to fuel it…"

The bunny adjusted his goggles and hmmm'd. "Well I was going to combine the sulfur from my chemistry set, charcoal from the grill, and some stuff I got from the drugstore to make my own, but firework dissection sounds cool…"

"Except when it blows up in your face," Foxcon spoke, opening the window and stepping in. "Young buck, a healthy interest in science is always a good thing in a young man, indeed you could well grow up to help design our next generation of space rockets and jet aircraft. But do you know what will stop you from doing that?"

"No," he said.

"A serious injury caused by messing around with fireworks. They are not toys, and I hope you're smart enough to know that." He paused, looking at the science kit. "And smart enough to know that when dealing with other explosives, it's always best to have an adult helping you."

"Jolly-wee, you're right Foxcon!"

"As always," he smiled, patting the young bunny on the head. His began sniffing though, as Bunmerica ran through the door.

"Red Bull is on the move!"

"Then so are we!"

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In the brushy woodland above town, a tough looking elk walked up from his ranch and began setting fireworks out. As he did so, he paused, noticing a sign there.

'Fire-risk. No flames or sparks.'

He looked over at what he'd set up, thinking, only for someone to come up to him. "Ah, hallo fine americanish chap," Red Bull said. "Lovely veather, though I caught dee sun a bit too much yesterday as you can so clealy see, yah?"

"Yeh, though what happened to your fur in the first place?"

"Oh, minor accident in the war, you know how it goes. Say, what are you doing?"

He sighed. "I was going to set up some fireworks, but it seems that the fire marshal banned it.

"Oh no, I mean, are firewerken open flame unt spark?" he asked. "It doesn't say 'no firewerken, does it?"

"Hmmmm," the elk pondered, before smiling. "Yeah, you're right."

"Ov course I am," Red Bull smiled, walking off. The elk began laying out more fireworks, only for Captain Bunmerica and Foxcon to race on.

"Hold it just a second," she said.

"What she said," Foxcon joined in.

"You may imagine that fireworks pose no risk as they explode up in the air, but in many cases they can send hot and burning residue falling down. From hot ashes to the remains of the sticks."

"And," Foxcon added, "the do leave a trail of fire when they lift off. Enough to start this dry ground here smouldering."

"And that's not all," a new voice joined in. They all turned to see a thick furred brown bear walking up to them, cap on hat and shovel over shoulder. "Even if launching them from your property, they can be blown by the wind or fly off at the wrong angle, straight into a vulnerable area. I know it must be tough, being at the edge of town, but maybe ask a friend closer in if you can pool together."

"Yeah," Bunmerica cheered, "The fourth of July is best celebrated together."

The brown bear nodded. "Indeed. But still, if in a fire risk zone or dealing with dry weather, you should always be careful." He then turned to the camera. "After all, only you can prevent forest fires."

"And only us two can capture Red Bull," Bunmerica spoke, she and Foxcon taking off once more.

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"Of course zu can smoke while setting up the firewerken," Red Bull was explaining to a boar with a cigar in his mouth. The pig looked down at his box and shrugged, all while taking a large inhale, puffing it up.

"Woah, woah, stop!" Bunmerica said. "Does it even need to be said how dangerous this is?"

"Firework and flames do not mix," Foxcon added. "And we've caught you now, Red Bull."

"No zu have not," he spoke, looking down. He grabbed a mammalhole cover and lifted it up before jumping in. "Zu will never take me alive!" he called.

"So," Foxcon said, taking a whiff of the air coming out and wrinkling his face up. "We gonna third mammal him or…"

He was cut off as Bunmerica grabbed the fireworks, and the pig's cigar, and dropped them in one after the other. Foxcon quickly grabbed the mammalhole cover and put it back in place, the pair sitting down on it.

There was a hiss, then a Bang, then a WHOOOMPPPP…. The whole thing jostled, smoke escaping the side as fizzes, whoomps and whistles came out from underneath.

It quietened down, the pair pulling the cover up and letting a cloud of smoke escape.

There was a pause.

Then, from far in… "Oooooowwwwww…."

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Foxcon smiled as he put away his copy of the local paper. "So, seems that Red Bull's little vote plan failed."

Captain Bunmerica, taking a break from chewing through some buttered basted grilled corn on the cob, looked his way. "Seems it did," she said. "But he'd have succeeded if mammals didn't take the simple safety precautions needed to use them safely. Indeed, it's up to all of us to use them safely. Because if we can't use them safely, we can't enjoy them safely."

"Amen to that," Foxcon said, the pair looking up at the whizzes and bangs of the first fireworks began lighting the night up.