Small Scene Smorgasbord 1:
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AN: So, before we begin, let me embrace my inner Catweazel and go on a long rambling update of the status of my various fic releases, and current turns my writing life has taken me.
First off. As said before a couple of times, because I'm aiming to have all my main FFOZ chapters shared and read through at the ZAA readthroughs, that limits how often I can post updates. The wordcount limit is set at 2,500 max, and most of my chapters are in the range of 5,500 words to 7,500 words. Hence, with two readthroughs a week, on average I can't make a full chapter update a week. Hence why I have updated every two weeks. In between, at the time, I had plenty of oneshots written for guys on (censored to keep the A03 mods happy but we totally know what site it is) that I could share in the empty weeks. It all worked out.
At least until I ran out said oneshots. At which point I was able to swap over to some other small story ideas I'd written and post them, until they ran out. At which point I'd worked up another backlog of the first variety of oneshots I could share out until that was up. At which point, I could share the 'Fire Instinct Blue' stuff and then 'The Heiferberg incident' (And then, conveniently, my original versions of those scenes for WIF).
And now, I've finished with those. The good news is I do have a few more of those oneshots written up (though of course, as I only write one a month, they can never really keep up). The other good news is there are still a few other unreleased story ideas and all lying around on my computer (Including the one featuring Brittany and Familiar Fire, hence the tags in the title, which has laid unfinished for ages). More good news, looking forward at my release schedule for FFOZ, while there are some larger chapters (including ones going up into the 9,000 range), a lot are below 5,000… So only took one weekend to proof. Consequently, for those, I'll be aiming to go back to weekly updates. Smaller chapter, smaller wait. And more time to build up more oneshots for the big waits.
So… With all this good news, what's the bad news?
Well, tbf, I think I've been dealing with a little bit of block going forward with FFOZ. To the point where I've been getting to chapter ideas I've thought about or dreamed of for ages… But writing them, they don't just… Take off, like they used to.
Now, to be fair, this isn't a problem yet as I have a ton of pre-written chapters stored up. I can afford to take some time off, if that's what it takes.
I don't think I'm quite there yet though, so what I thought I'd do is a few little writing exercises ideas, things that wouldn't really warrant their own chapter, but could be posted collected together in what I planned to call 'Short Story Smorgasbord'. Just a bunch of tiny scene clips or so on, just see if I can get the creative juices flowing again. Because when I've written some things other than FFOZ, such as some of my When Instinct Falls stuff or 'The Hieferberg incident', I very much have felt that flow return.
Indeed, the very first idea I did ended up flowing out to… would you believe it, close to 3K words. And that, combined with another massive authors notes and a whole load of context and self-musings about my Fire-Instinct-Blue concept (me thinking of ways to improve the final two seasons basically spawning the scene idea in the first place) mean it would have been better off as its own thing. Indeed, that was my plan… Up until, given its connection to When Night Falls and my involvement in writing that story, I realised that with a bit of work and swapping about and such it could be genuinely (and very effectively) incorporated into that story. So, it's going there hahaha.
And I'll have to work on a new FIB idea to go with all the big notes and musings and stuff for when I want to share those too.
As for now though:
Small Scene Smorgasbord!
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Scene idea 1: A crossover idea I had a few times, could certainly be built out into a full series if anyone wants to take it on.
"Ten-four, we're at the property," Judy said, parking up the car and stepping out. They'd been coming back from a shift assisting truck searches out on one of the main routes into Zootopia when they'd got the call. A few reports of domestic disturbances at a Meadowlands house, one they weren't too far away from. And, while they'd wanted nothing more to have gone home after a fruitless day of not finding contraband and annoying truckers, the pressing nature of the call was more than enough to motivate them into giving the place a look-in.
Mostly hidden by bushes and trees, they had to unlock a gate and walk around a sheltered path until they saw the low-slung ranch house, and when they did they went straight for their radios. "This is Judy, it's not a domestic, it's a break-in over. Door off its hinges, I…" She looked up to Nick, who was sniffing the air, his ears falling down hard.
"Lots of it. Two mammals."
"Blood scents of two mammals in the air, request immediate medical assistance in case of survivors. Over."
She put the radio down and, paws on her weapon, jogged up towards the place. The door very much was off its hinges, torn off and out and thrown on the floor in a small sea of splinters. The bunny and fox pair went either side of it before putting their backs against the wall, flanking the open entranceway. Judy, nodding, covered Nick as he glanced in. Night vision scanning and nose sniffing. "Raccoon, two scents, matches the blood. A few other scents but they're mostly faint."
"Building clear?"
"Or your money back," Nick said, turning in and walking down the hallway. Judy followed, ears scanning.
"Three," he whispered.
"Huh?"
"Three raccoons. I…" His voice trailed off as he saw an overturned coat rack, three sets of clothes thrown off it. One distinctly smaller than the rest.
"Sweet cheese," Judy said, shaking slightly. "Please say you can't smell any blood from…"
"Not yet," Nick said, grimacing. Slipping on his favourite pair of phasing glasses, he turned the main lights on, letting his night vision stay semi-primed as they looked around. A quick peak in one room revealed the adult pair, and that there was never anything the cops could have done. Thus, they focussed on making sure they were safe here, and finding the third member of the family.
"Hello?" Judy called. "We're cops. It's okay, it's safe now."
As they looked around, more and more signs of a young kit, from strewn drawings to kits video games under the TV, revealed themselves. But no kit him or her self. Nick was about to cut back out of one room when he paused, seeing a slashed-up painting on a wall. Large, taking most of it up, it showed an army gathered together and marching in the snow. Fine painted oils and an aged wooden frame, it looked like it'd be priceless had a light stand thrown across the room not torn it almost in two.
"Nick," Judy began, only to pause as the fox looked around.
"Where have all the paintings gone?"
Judy looked around, blinking. Across the house were the pale ghost imprints of paintings taken off, or empty plinths or display cabinet. Moving to one that was not empty, the smashed case holding a tiny clay statuette, not much bigger than his claw before it had been broken in two. Nick froze. "No way."
"What?"
"I saw this before. It was a treasure from the Old Country, Grandmama Big owned it, or did. She stole it from some rich family back there and sold it here to fund the family in tough times. When Big had it good, he bought it back for her birthday. I know, I was there and saw her crying and holding it."
"What's it doing here then?"
"Stolen," Nick said, looking around. "All of it, stolen. I… I don't believe it. They finally found the madmammal."
Judy followed Nick on back to the bodies. "What madmammal?" she asked, pausing as they approached the dead male raccoon.
"A bunch of art stolen across the city. From the highest institutions to the lowest crooks. Disconnected, surely?" He shook his head. "The idea that there was a single Gentlemammal Thief behind it all was…" He shrugged. "Fancy romance at best. But here he is, in the fur. Or was. They came and got their own back. Taking him and everything he loved down with it."
Judy paused, finding it hard to look at the dead female raccoon. Every urge in her body was telling her to grab a nearby sheet and pull it over her lifeless open eyes. But her mind told her the first rule of a crime scene was to never touch anything. Instead, she just stepped back, edging along with her back to a wardrobe, just the sound of…
She froze, ears up and pointing themselves back before she spun on the spot, paw grabbing the slightly open edge of the door and sliding it out. The empty bottom revealed itself, not a sign of…
"JUDY!"
Before she could react she felt her back getting smashed down, the wooden floor shooting up to meet her nose. It smushed in and she felt her teeth knock hard against the timbers, all as ragged panted breathing rung out from above her. A rattle of wood on wood, and a paw grabbed her head and swung her around to face her partner, frozen mid stride. "Woah! Stay still the both of you!" he said, as Judy felt herself getting locked into a pinning position. She felt she had the strength to break through the pressure, but an arm gripping her around the throat and the cold metal chill cutting through above that were some very good reasons not to try.
Still… A lot of her didn't know when to quit.
Once more Judy fought an urge, this time to buck whoever it was over her head and push his arms into a hold. Nick's warning forestalled her though, and gave her enough time to listen to the ragged, fearful, tear stained breaths in and out to know exactly what was going on and relax, just a bit.
"Hey, kiddo," Nick said, holding out his badge. "We're cops. It's okay. You're not in trouble."
Judy, noticing whatever blade he had pressed to her neck was both not a knife and way too oversized to be any threat, nodded. "You're not in trouble. Come on, let me go. We'll take you somewhere safe. And make sure those who did this will never do anything like it again. To anyone."
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"You promise?" he asked.
"We'll work as hard as we can," she said, breathing a sigh of relief as the blade was let go. Stepping forward, the bunny saw it was actually more like some kind of sickle, on the head of a very long cane. And, looking back, she saw the shivering raccoon kit, fur on end and teeth teetering on being bared, hold it close to him. He was dressed in grey shorts, a blue shirt and a yellow neckerchief, and looked to still be in the single digits, but definitely at the older end of that scale, and was very thin and lithe for his species. Not that it made him weak, she could feel a lot more strength in his hold than his looks would suggest.
The bunny held out a paw.
He held it and let her guide him out.
He avoided looking at his parents until the last moments when he paused, holding back to give them one last look before closing his eyes and walking on. "Come on," Judy said, "you're being very brave…"
"I don't need you to talk to me like that," he said, gritting his eyes and teeth and looking away.
Judy just held his paw tighter as they left the house, the ambulance and other cop cars just pulling up. The kit's ears flicked back at the sound of the sirens and he held his cane closer. "They killed Mum first."
"I'm sorry," Judy said, fighting back any tears.
"They wanted to make Dad watch." He grit his teeth. "I shoulda helped him."
"No kiddo," Nick said, coming down. "They'd have done the same to you. You couldn't have fought them."
"How do you know?"
"Cop intuition," Nick said, pausing as he saw some other officers come down. "He saw it all, he's in shock at the moment. We'll take him up."
Nodding, they went down to the crime scene as Nick and Judy took the kit into an ambulance. "I'm a coward," he sniffed. "I coulda saved them…"
"No," Judy insisted. "Listen, you hiding… Your father knowing you were safe. That's… That probably meant more to him at the end than anything else."
"I… I coulda…" he began, as he began to shake. Nick and Judy pulled him in and they started to head off as the dam finally burst. He held on to him, he held onto the cane, he poured it out before finally falling asleep.
With no visible injuries, they let him rest in a hospital bed when he got there, Nick and Judy watching over him until Bogo arrived, a melancholic look on his face. "Never like this."
"Sir?" Judy asked.
"At the house," he began.
"The art," Nick nodded. "We know."
He looked between them, and then at the sleeping kit, before sitting down on a seat. "The sins of the father," he muttered. "Even after he retired, I wanted to get that thief. I really did. Bring him to justice." He grit his teeth. "We should have got there first."
"I'm sorry, sir," Nick said.
"Don't be," he huffed. "Not to me." He walked over and placed a paw on the sleeping kit. "We checked through the records. His father, the greatest thief in Zootopia, turned out to be called Connor Cooper. Now caught at last." He looked down and patted the sleeping boy's head. "I hope you grow up to be nothing like him, young Sly."
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AN: A bit longer than I expected. In my original ideas, I had Nick and Judy find the bodies, Nick clock who he was, then they find young Sly with/without realising he was there. Though here, when writing them sniff the air, it then became natural that they'd worked out there was a third, pick up the clues, etc.
I also admit it's probably set a very depressing tone to start with. So let's turn it around with something completely different. Time for something gay. VERY GAY!
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"Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!" The chanting only got louder and louder, drawing the attention of the various guards and staff looking on. One of them, naturally a sloth, slowly rolled his eyes and slowly began to unlock the last gate to the big outside world as the grey and white furred Timberwolves reached the gate line, their chanting after two years behind bars only getting louder and louder and louder. "FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM!" On and on they went, the gap in the thin mesh doorway to the big wide world only got larger and larger and larger until finally, as one squeezed through, followed paw in paw with the other, Gary and Larry emerged out of the other end of their Nighthowler-case based prison stint. "FREEDOM!" They cried, before howling out loud and hard.
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"So, what now?" Larry asked, as he watched the white furred Gary unpack his things on the bed. All things said and done, Lionheart hadn't been that bad of a boss, and had made his lawyers use a chunk of his money to help set up those his employ had ended up liberty curtailing at least had a springboard to jump back off of when legal rights were (mostly) all returned. Case in point, rather than starting in a hostel, the pair had a (very) cozy little flat, paid off for six months.
"Well," Gary pondered. "I was thinking lunch for a start…"
"No. I mean about what we're going to do next."
The white wolf looked over, shaking his head and holding his packmate on the shoulder. "Hey, the company said they're still happy to take us back. And promise no legally dubious stuff again."
"No, I'm not…"
"Understood, understood," he waved off. "But I mean, we learnt stuff in there. I got my welding qualifications, as do you. There's an oil boom out east we could rake a bunch in on. Maybe save enough to buy a place in the woods and live offa the fat of the land together! The world's ours Larry!"
…
"Larry?"
"Is it?" the grey furred wolf asked.
"I mean, yes it's harder as an ex-con, but…"
"NO," he yelled, pushing the white furred wolf back. "Why do you think you'd be carrying on a dumb prison relationship through all these things. I mean, we're free now, we can settle on more, and… and… Gary?
He'd seen the white furred wolf spring many a strange expression. But what he saw now was only briefly confusing to him. It was then equally morose and broken to the both of them. "You…" Gary began. "You mean, all that time, it meant nothing?"
"I… No, wait a minute."
"No," the white wolf hissed, turning his head away. Larry moved in, paw out, only to be swatted away. "I see how it is," he sniffed. "I was just… Just a dumb little howler to pass away the time! Well there! It's over. I'll, I'll just leave and we can go our separate ways again." He stood up, pushing the grey wolf back when he came to touch him, and instead grabbing what scant things he owned and shoving them into a case. A quick zip up and he made for the door, only for his eyes to widen and his whole body to tip forwards, slamming on the floor, as the grey furred wolf held his legs tight.
"Gary! I'm sorry," he sniffed. The white wolf, paused, looking back as his packmate began crying. "I'm…. I'm sorry, that I think I'm not good enough for you… That… That I'm just a dumb crook who's too cynical to… To make this work… And that now we can, you should choose better, I…"
"Oh Larry," Gary sniffed, turning back and holding him tight. "Don't worry. Shhh, shhhh…"
"I'm… I'm supposed to be the cool one on top, but I can't even…"
"Oh you don't have to." And as if to prove it, the white wolf pulled back and gave his mate a BIG kiss on the mouth. One that was quickly followed. They soon hugged and licked each other, stripping off their clothes and holding each other tight, fur against fur, heart against heart.
"I'm not perfect too," Gary reassured, ears going back. "I'm scared I'll mess up. I don't know what to do. I howl too much."
"Maybe you do," Larry said. "But I like your howl."
"You do?"
"You know I do."
"Yeah," Gary smiled, tail wagging. "You know, I'm scared about what to do. I like being told, following a leader." His ears rose. "It was actually a bit nice in jail, knowing everything would be safe if you followed your orders. It was reassuring, like back when I was in the pack." He looked up, ears going down as some nerves grew on his face. "I know you think it might be much for you, and just me being too needy, but can you be my alpha?"
"You'd like that?"
"Yeah."
"Good, as I thought so number 020349." Gary's eyes widened and his tail wagged slightly, Larry smiling. "You don't think I didn't notice, you naughty boy?"
A soft whine came from the white wolf as Larry stepped over and pulled out a plastic bottle the white wolf hadn't notice before, cut into two halves fixed together with tape. Running his claw over it, he popped it open, pulling open. "My jail suit?"
"Yes, my naughty puppy."
"How did you…"
"Two years in prison and you can't guess? For shame."
"Heh… I helped train you up for that," Gary chuckled.
Larry snickered. "So you did," he said, holding the orange suit out in full. "I thought you'd like it."
"N-n-n-n-noooooo…."
"Your tail doesn't lie. Now strip and get into it, you've got some community service to do. And I'm the community."
Trembling, Larry held it, tail beating. "I so love you."
"And I love you."
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AN: Okay now, the science boffins are saying I should do less risqué stuff. That gives me a new idea. MORE risqué stuff!
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"Dawn Bellwether," the judge ordered. "For your crimes against this city, we have deemed a life sentence not adequate enough. Henceforth, you will be paying back this community and city for your crimes via community service, the earnings raised going to a charitable foundation to help, in some small part, to heal the damage you have caused to your victims."
And with that the hammer had fallen, the sheep getting taken away. On her trip to the jail, she hadn't given much thought to what her community service would be. It would be picking up litter or helping to sweep streets, the usual stuff. Better than being locked in a cramped cell when the weather was nice. Worse when the weather was bad. The usual.
It was only on her first day, as her prison van pulled up and she stepped out into Watering Hole Plaza that she realised that no. This was not usual, and the huge numbers of big predators: wolves, tigers, hyena, lions and so on lining up only made her more nervous as she was dragged along.
By the time she saw the set of stocks hammered into the lawn in front of her, a big sign above saying 'Public Use: $2' she began bleating with fear.
It didn't matter though. The guards just dragged her on, holding her firm as she pointlessly struggled before thrusting her head and arms into the open thing, closing it tight over her and locking it hard and shut.
"H-h-hey," she said. "You can't do this, You ca…" She was shut off as a muzzle was pulled around her face, the two back straps on either side pulled tight so her jaw was locked shut. She tried to protest, only for her muffled cries to come out as almost comical 'Baaaaaaaa's…'
This wasn't a standard muzzle, she grumbled to herself. They knew, they planned it, and OH MUTTON CHOPS THAT'S JUDY'S FOX!
She watched the red menace walking up and paying in his two bucks, licking his lips before turning to her.
"Baaaaaa… Baaaaaaa!"
He didn't listen, instead coming up, coming around, vanishing from her view but his presence hanging over like a menacing giant. Dawn braced for the inevitable as, stretching his fingers, Nick started her community service with gusto.
"It's… Like… Cotton Candy!"
Face scowling, she glared up as the fox squeezed and played with her woolly top-knot, probably wearing some stupid dumb wide grin on his face. One that obviously continued as he played with the wool there, then felt and stroke down her side, then even played with her t-TAIL!
"BAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Calm it," one of the guards scolded, annoyingly fixing her eyes on her and not him. "Okay fox, time's up."
His ears sank. "Already?"
"Sorry bud, long line." Indeed, looking forward, Dawn couldn't see the end of it, and as the fox walked away and a brown bear walked up, starting to poke and giggle at her mutton chop, the sheep sighed.
This was gonna be a loooonnnnngggg day.
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AN: What? What else did you think it was going to be?
Anyhow, now a dumb and silly idea kinda based off my Fire Instinct Blue Concept… Though it doesn't need any context from there. Indeed, I've changed the names and species of the characters and settings in a deliberately alluding yet confusing manner.
All you need to know is that Nick, Judy, Bogo and the team are trying to raid an evil set of escape rooms… (basically 'The Belfry' from Berserker88's Born to Be Wilde). Split up, Nick in particular is chasing a rather crazy girlfriend (basically Cherry from Alp Sarsis' Guardian Blue Season 3) who, in her unstable state, has her boyfriend being subjected to the Dark-Web televised punishments for some imagined crime.
Racing onwards, Nick set his eyes straight on the fleeing she-wolf, as she bolted through a door straight into the heart of 'The Roost'. Judy could deal with the flying squirrel, Bogo with the giant armoured rhino, but he'd be after the coyote. After all, her boyfriend was stuck captive in here, probably subjected to more cruel and unusual games probably stollen from Japanese gameshows. And he was going to be the one rescuing him. "I'll deal with Damson," he called into his radio, "And get Mack out of there. Don't worry."
"N-Nick! She's immune to Tranq's somehow, you…"
"I'll figure something out," the fox barked back, as the line descended into static.
Following her down as fast as he could, he could only hope that her starving boyfriend was still stuck in some kind of benign 'bounce for the bun' type game, totally ripped off from Tanuki's castle.
Whatever the case, he had to keep his wits about him. Even as she raced on just ahead, who knew what surprises she had in store for him.
Wheeling around a corner, he saw her just ahead and ran up as fast as possible. He was in biting distance of her tail when, suddenly, she pivoted to the left and pulled a door closed behind her. The fox slammed into it, pounding his fist, before looking around. Carrying on the same way was his best shot and so he did, turning a corner only to freeze.
Before him was some kind of giant chasm, a shaking rope bridge crossing it. Sans ropes. The fox turned back only to see a spiked wall drop down and then push forward, forcing him onto the wobbling set of planks.
"Hey, Foxxy?"
He turned, only for his eyes to widen as a soft THUM rang out, a round golden object sailing towards him. Paws open, he grabbed it, only then realising it was a gold painted basketball. "Hang on…" he began, not liking where this was going. And as he saw Damson walk over to a new ball launcher, one seemingly running much faster and firing grey painted basket balls, the fox gulped.
THUM!
One of them sailed right for him and, holding his ball high, Nick bounced it off, almost getting thrown off the bridge from the force. "Oh no."
THUM!
Another one flew over, which he dodged, trying to remember all he'd learnt from years of pre-leaving for school watching sessions.
THUM!
He jumped forward on the bridge, feeling it graze his tail.
"This is Bridge Ball from Tanuki's Castle!"
Tucking the ball down under his shirt, he began scrabbling forward on all fours.
"You're literally copying Tanuki's Castle game for game!?" Nick asked, halting to let another fly ahead right in front of him.
"HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?"
THUM!
BANG
"OWWWW!"
The fox, ignoring his new pounding headache, scrabbled to the end of the wobbly 'Millennium Bridge over the River Why', stuck his gold ball in the slot, and glared back. "This was NOT how I wanted my number one kithood fantasy to pan out, okay!?"
Indeed, looking down and seeing that there wasn't a safety net under the bridge, the fox felt that this wasn't going to be nearly as fun as he imagined after all.
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"Okay, maybe it will be," Nick said, stretching a bit to the tinny tune of 'surfing Zoo-S-A'. He then ran forward, jumping down. "Onto the surfboard," he said, holding on to the board in question, at the end of a long arm spinning around what appeared to be piranha infested water. The fox gulped before pouncing up. "Over the whale." He sailed over the pink whale plush hung right in his path. "Onto the platform," he jumped off the surfboard, ran over the small platform. "Back onto the surfboard." Which he did. "Over the whale." Bounce. "And I am through!" He jumped back onto the home platform, paws in the air.
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Huffing and catching a break, Bogo rubbed his arm, pulling up his radio and speaking into it. "Hopps? Report."
"NOT NOW! ROBO SHARK!"
The Cape buffalo groaned. "Wilde? Report."
He just got static from there. Naturally, when he actually wanted the fox there was naught but silence. He turned, only to pause as he saw an outgoing transmission playing. A flashing title announced 'The Gauntlet', and then, wouldn't you know it, there was the fox running through what could best be described as a real life video game.
Racing some kind of monster/ marker travelling from right to left along the top of the course, the fox raced, passing three masked animatronic figures that jumped out to spook him before racing forward over a conveyor belt, moving in the opposite direction. The fox was faster though, getting to the end and dodging the fake boulder sent down crashing onto his head. Up onto a narrow beam, he jumped over the spinning kebabs, onto the trampoline and into the foam pit, getting off and skirting past the swinging wrecking ball before it even had a change to hit him
Then he got to the 'spinny-roundabout-thingy'.
He looked at it for a few seconds, waited, and then jumped on, across the centre, to the other side and on to the triple-wrecking balls. He zoomed across, dodging the first two but freezing in place as the third, thrown early, swung in front of him, grazing his nose. No matter, on he went, grabbing the rope swing and swinging across to the end of the course.
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Bogo growled. "Where's Craig Snarls narration? WHEN WILL MAMMALS LEARN IT DOESN'T WORK WITHOUT CRAIG SNARLS NARRATING!?"
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Racing onward down a slope, a tiger in a fancy dragon and flame suit waving him on with a cane, Nick pushed on at full tilt towards the pool of water but probably actually acid given the setting, multiple stones offering a path across. Naturally of course, only some would be fixed to the bottom, the others free floating and completely unable to support his weight.
Still he raced on, faster and faster until he got to the end and…
Halted.
Looking around for a second, he nodded and stepped onto the fixed stone. Looking around, seeing which ones moved slightly and which didn't, he slowly made his way across, jumping from the latter to the latter. "Yeah," Nick said to the camera. "These are the ones they didn't show on the show."
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Bogo, and a recently returned and scratched up Judy, watched on as Nick, and what must have been a whole bunch of other Belfry victims, including the coyote's boyfriend, started a race.
Dressed up as the first halves of horses, the rear half of their hard plastic suits having little wheels for feet. Something those at the front shared with their roller-skates.
A starting pistol sounded and, with legs-a-flailing, off they road.
Comically.
Especially as they reached the first hurdle of the Roller Darby and started falling into each other.
Pushing his way up and making a sprint for the end, Nick grumbled. "How did they even get me in this costume?"
"I don't know," the coyote behind him spoke.
"Okay, new rule, no letting them dress us up. Okay?"
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"Me and my big mouth," Nick grumbled, as he looked around in his giant bowling pin costume. And up, at the giant bowling ball rolling towards him. Thankfully, when selecting his place by picking cards, he'd judged the card holders face while scanning about, grabbing a nice safe number 8, middle and back.
The coyote meanwhile had picked the ace, and was in prime position at the front. And it was his crazy girlfriend pushing the giant ball, running up to them at a very fast speed.
The coyote could only gulp.
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"How did you survive that?"
"I don't know!?"
"Well," Nick said, as they walked up to a long wall, various ropes leading from it, "I will get you out of here. Stick together, we'll be safe."
"Uh-hu," the shivering canine said, as they both selected ropes.
Nick, holding his, looked on as the wall was raised revealing a whole tug of war team.
Of mice.
"Take the strain," one chirped, before they were all dragged back by Nick.
The fox looked over at the coyote, a hopefully expression on his tired and hungry muzzle as he held his rope, quickly dashed as the sound of a tractor engine revved up.
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Tired, getting quite fed up, Nick pushed through the door, pausing as he saw the fancy lounge in front of him. A pretty Tanuki girl pulled him over to a microphone, as the fat pig proprietor barked something out. Nick groaned. "Karaoke? That's the worst game and you all know it!"
Still, as the music started and the words to the intro-song of a popular high school drama about a drama club wolf falling in love with a white botanist bunny started playing, Nick gave them a taste of his Wilde side.
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"Did he wow them," one of the cops asked. "Or did he scare them into submission. I don't know."
"Neither do I," Bogo grumbled, as they watched Nick, now balled up inside a plastic sphere, getting rolled down a giant pachinko machine, plinging as he went. They grew increasingly tense as he moved towards the 'death' zone at the end, a pink catching bucket with a black skull and crossbones on it.
And an industrial grinder beneath.
Thankfully though, the fox slipped past and through into safety.
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"Come on, you're not going to get me out," Nick said, adjusting his wig and position on the soft cushion as, with a huff of steam, the mock house they were in began to shake violently, falling apart. Bits fell off, other cushions topple, Nick, biting his lip, stood balanced.
.
.
Crawling out of a tunnel, Nick sighed with relief. "Finally," he said, as he saw the giant mock castle across from him. In front of it, in a large faux-boulder clad motorised shopping trolley, or, to use the correct terminology, dinkie-dodgem, stood the crazy wolf herself. Next to someone wearing a giant Count Tanuki head. Flanking to her side, four on each, in smaller more robotic carts were her emerald guard. All had paper rings on the front of their vehicles. All had water jets.
And, stepping up, Nick found that he was the only one through. Of course, the tiger from before was there, the fox watching as General Li himself got into his own dinkie-dodgem. The pair had the paper rings and water guns too. Even if they're water guns were just small pistol.
Li threw his cane forward. "HIDAE!" And with the boom of two pyrotechnics, forward they drove. Nick squirted out his weak water pistol and wet his pawpad, holding it up to test the air. Then, tongue askew from his mouth, he held the pistol up and began squirting.
Pushing on in the head cart, Damson jumped and jumped with glee, only to freeze as she saw her ring starting to get wet. "W-w-wait, CHARGE HIM!"
Forward she went. Back Nick went, smiling.
General Li ran interference, delaying the regular guard even at the cost of his own ring.
"Back off," the mad coyote warned. "Back…"
The words died in her mouth as she small the small hole in the ring.
The castle behind erupted in fireworks, while Nick's jaw hit the floor. "WE HAVE A WINNER! WE HAE A WINNER THIS TIME AND IT'S ME!"
Whatever celebration was due was quickly cut off as the coyote, not happy at what most analysts would call a certain win turning into a loss, legged it up into the castle.
Nick followed her, bursting into a science room, complete with a very large X-like frame with some kind of robo arm behind in. And in a cage in the corner, the trapped coyote from earlier. "Don't laugh," he warned.
"Huh?" Nick asked, before turning to his captor. "You've lost, and aren't going to get away with this!"
Damson chuckled menacingly. "Hahaha, you fool! You think…"
She was cut off as an announcer called out. "DAMSON! OUTTO!"
"DAMMIT!" she grumbled.
Nick watched as a leather clad zebra walked out, pulled up the coyote's tail, and thwacked her rear end with a paddle.
Nick shook his head. "Okay, so after mining Tanuki's Castle dry you're now giving Gako No Tanuki the same treatment? Now you listen here, I just won foxin' Tanuki's castle. I repeat, I WON Tanuki's castle. Just… Process that oxymoron for a second, okay? Now, if I can get through that, I can totally get through a no-laugh Bat-Su game no sweat. Hand him back and give up."
Her eyes narrowed. "NEVER!"
She charged, Nick dodging to the side. They kicked and swung, spinning around, until finally, they squared off. "I'M GONNA WIN HERE! DUDUDUDUDUH!"
"Oh really?" Nick asked, stepping forward. "Well, you should give up. I don't want to have to use my secret weapon."
She paused. "Secret weapon."
"Yes, secret weapon," he said, carrying on walking forward forward.
She stepped back. "What secret weapon?" she asked, paws out.
"Oh, you don't know."
"Don't know what?" she asked, jolting into something behind her. She froze, pushing to move to the side, only to freeze as she felt clamps hold down her limbs.
"That one, there, behind you," he said, having backed her right into the giant X-shaped frame. She struggled, somehow triggering something, and the padded robotic arm behind her began waving its beam up and down, approaching her as it went.
"MIGHTY CHINKO MACHINE. ENGAGE!" An announcer called, as Nick went over to let the captive coyote out. They both turned to see the beam thwack down on her head.
"Ow."
Thwack.
"Hey."
Thwack.
"Stop that."
It didn't, and as the 'punishment strength meter' to the side signalled, it only got faster and harder. "OW! HEY! STOP THAT!"
"Uh, can you stop it?" the formerly captive mammal asked, Nick looking at him.
"If you care about her that much, okay. Instructions instructions…" To the rhythmic sounds of her protests and whines, Nick pulled up a sheet. "Hmmmm, something's not quite right."
"Yeah," he agreed. "It looks… off."
The two canines looked at it for a second before Nick, his eyes widening, turned the paper upside down. "Oh!" he chuckled. "That's how it's supposed to work!"
"NICHOLAS! OUTTO!"
His eyes widened, before he grumbled. "Dammit," he said, raising up his tail as the zebra came over once again.
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How much more tanned can a red fox get? Answer and review on a postcard please.