Disclaimer: Garfield and all related characters are the intellectual property of Paws Inc. and Paramount Global/Nickelodeon at the time this story was written.
Garfield In: The First Date...in a Way
Garfield has spent a decent portion of the evening chillaxing on the living room sofa watching a game show on the secret cat channel known as WKAT, a bucket of ice cream securely wrapped around his arm.
"Welcome back to Kat Kwiz, the only game show in America exclusively for cats!" The TV announcer exclaims, the camera moving towards the host who looks near identical to Alex Trebek (if he were a cat, of course).
"Alright, so right here on the board we now have Other Animals, Rock-N-Roll, High School, and Fast Food." The host said, the names revealed on the top of the blue board.
"Ah, this is the life." Garfield said, chugging a scoop of ice cream in his mouth.
"I'll take Fast Food for 300, Alec." The female contestant said.
"Alrighty then, for $300, the answer is…" Alec Trebalpuss said, the answer revealed on its respective small screen. "*DING* A round, Italian dish whose modern term originated from the town of Gaeta in the 10th century."
"Well that's obvious." Garfield said, rolling his eyes.
Before the other two contestants even have time to think of what the question might be, the female contestant immediately pushes the red button in front of her.
*BEEP*
"Fluffy." Alec said, awaiting her answer.
"What is pizza?" Fluffy said.
"Correct!" Alec exclaims, scoring the yellow cat $300.
"Pfft, Anyone with a working brain would have guessed that." Garfield said. "Ya hear that, Odie?"
Turning his head around, the orange cat spots a paranoid dog peeking his head out the front window.
"Odie?" Garfield asks, taking particular notice of his friend's tail anxiously wagging back and forth. "Are you alright?"
*HUH? UHH…MMM HMM* Odie nods his head, having been oblivious to everything behind him as his eyes cautiously survey the entire front yard for any sign of anything, or anyone, dangerous looming around the area.
"You're worried about them, aren't you?" The orange cat asks, already guessing as to who he's worrying about.
*MMM MMM MMMMMM* The dog whimpers, releasing his frontal paws from the window's ledge.
"Don't worry about it, Odster." Garfield assures him, gently patting his head. "As long as we keep a low profile, they'll never find us."
*AH, RWAR RWARF* Odie shrugs, trusting his friend's word.
"Good boy, now c'mon, let's watch some TV together, my ice cream's startin' to melt." Garfield leaps back onto the sofa, grabbing the scooper and patting the cushion next to him, ushering for the dog to come sit with him.
*BARK BARK* Odie jumps onto the couch, his eyes now focused on the show as one of the male contestants makes his decision.
"I'll take Other Animals for 200, Alec."
"Alright." Alec said. "And for $200, the answer is…
*DING*
…A disgusting creature with no brains and no purpose."
*BEEP*
"Fluffy?"
"What is a dog?" She said, not even giving both her fellow contestants even a millisecond for a shot at winning the dough.
"That is correct!" Alec exclaims, scoring more money for the lucky female contestant.
"Teh, I knew that as well." Garfield said, stuffing more ice cream in his mouth.
*GRRRRRRR* Odie growls at the screen before leaping off the sofa, not wanting to subject himself to any more of such a discriminatory program towards dogs.
"Hey, where ya going, buddy?" Garfield asks. "This is a great show."
Odie grumbles as he sees himself out of the living room, passing by Arlene as she enters said room.
"What's up with him?" Arlene asks.
"I don't know." Garfield shrugs. "Guess he just doesn't like quality programming."
"I see." The pink cat said.
"Wanna watch the show with me?" The orange cat offers. "I could use some company."
"I don't know." Arlene replies. "It doesn't look like there's much space on the couch, given your size and all."
"Ha ha. Very funny." Garfield bluntly said, unamused.
Arlene leaps onto the sofa making herself comfortable as she scoots next to her friend.
"And with that, we will return to Kat Kwiz right after these messages." The announcer said as the show cuts to a commercial break.
"Eh, might as well see what the humans have on their airwaves right now." The orange cat suggests, grabbing the remote and quickly flipping through all the channels.
"Can I have some of your ice cream?" Arlene asks, hoping to have some kind of cold relief after enduring a rather warm, sunny day out in the backyard.
"Sure, knock yourself out." Garfield replies, tossing the bucket in her direction. Licking her tongue in excitement, Arlene grabs the bucket…
…only to find the scooper inside of it.
"Gee, thanks Garfield." The pink cat bluntly said.
"You're welcome." The orange cat said, still flipping through the channels. "God, it's takes so much longer these days to skim through each channel. Guess that's what you get for transferring to satellite TV. *SIGH* I miss cable."
Eventually, he settles on the news channel, hoping that there's, at the very least, a story about a dog getting mauled to death by some wild animal.
But, then again…
…he'd much rather not be reminded of the numerous times his best friend was nearly killed…
…whether it be nearly being slaughtered by pirate ghosts*...
…or nearly being shot to death at the hands of the Claws**.
(*Garfield's in Disguise for his Halloween Adventure!*)
(**Garfield Quickies - Season 2 - Chapter 6 - Reigniting an Old Flame**)
Both events that were instigated by his own careless actions, no matter how many arguments he's had with his consciousness otherwise. Truth be told, he really doesn't know when his own streak of luck will inevitably run out…
…for any of his reckless adventures can, and most likely will at this point, ultimately lead to all of his friends in the clutches of the Grim Reaper…
…or worse…
…himself!
"Garfield?" Arlene waves her hand in front of him, concerned. "Are you alright?"
"H-Huh?" The male cat's mind clears back to reality. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine."
"You spaced out there for a minute." The female cat points out. "Is there something bothering you?"
"*SIGH* I've just been thinking…" Garfield hesitates for a few seconds. "...all this stuff going on with the Claws is making me sick to my stomach, which usually only happens when I haven't had any food for an hour."
Arlene commiserates her friend by pacing a paw on his back, gently rubbing him as she ponders a way to help get his mind off of everything that's been happening. After pondering to herself for a full minute, she comes up with an idea.
"Hey." Arlene snaps her fingers. "How 'bout we go out together? Y'know, just me and you? We can even grab a bite if you want."
"Are you crazy!?" Garfield asks in shock. "You want us to go out while the Claws are out and about wanting our heads served on a plate!?"
"Oh, quit worrying." Arlene said. "Like you said, we'll just keep a low profile. Besides, it's not like we're gonna suddenly announce to the whole world where we're going."
"True, but still, I don't want us to take any chances." The orange cat insists, trying to not be as incautious as he used to be. "Why don't we just stay here and grab something from the fridge?"
"Suit yourself." The pink cat shrugs. "Pretty sure the only thing in there right now is Jon's month-old meatloaf."
*GRUMBLE*
"Yeah, let's just head out." Garfield said, giving in to his stomach as he and Arlene head out the front door…
…but not before the former grabbing his trench coat and fedora hat, just in case.
Having just heard the door opening, Odie heads back to the living room…
…only to realize that his friends are no longer there.
*UH OH* Odie shivers in fear, for with the Claws still out and about…
…today might be the last day he'll ever see his friends.
Not wanting this thought to become reality, the dog rushes through the kitchen and out the pet door, hoping that he can catch them before it's too late.
Garfield, now disguised as Sam Spayed, shoves his tail inside of his trench coat, not wanting to make the same mistake of leaving exposed like he did in the Vermin's Tavern***.
(***Previous Chapter***)
"You really should put on some kind of disguise." Garfield suggests, making sure his tail is fully tucked and secured inside his coat.
"*SIGH* Relax, Garfield." Arlene said. "We're just gonna go to the quiet part of town."
"Whatever you say, buddy." The male cat said, feeling only slightly relieved with her destination choice. "And that's Sam Spayed to you."
"Really? Sam Spayed?" Arlene bluntly asks.
"I thought it sounded cool." Sam said. "Heh, and like you can come up with a better name for my secret identity."
"Dick Tracy?"
"I rest my case." Sam drops the subject as they head into an empty park to catch a breath from their walk.
"Phew, all this walking is already making me hungry." Sam said, briefly taking off his hat to wipe off the sweat from his forehead.
"Garfield, we've only been walking for ten minutes." Arlene bluntly points out.
"Shhh, it's Spayed." Sam sternly insists.
"Yeah, I'm not calling you that." The pink cat said, taking a seat right next to him on the bench. The two cats stare silently at the bright, blue sky. Not one single cloud was in sight, allowing the sun to fully shine its glorious yellow light across the entire city. During their peaceful observation, Arlene can't help but stare at Garfield right before quickly turning her attention back to the sky. There's just something about him that catches her eyes upon getting a good look at his face…
…his smile…
…his pink nose…
…and his eyes, especially those big, gorgeous eyes.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Arlene asks.
"Yeah, it actually is." Garfield replies, the glorious scenery calming him down.
Blushing upon hearing his deep, sexy voice, the pink cat slowly reaches her paw towards him, wanting to feel his warm, furry hand.
Yet, she hesitates…
…unsure how Garfield would react to her paw suddenly being right on top of his…
…would he reject her for it?
"Uhh, what are you doing?" Garfield asks, having felt something touch his paw.
"Oh, uhhhh….n-nothing. Nothing at all. Heh heh heh." Arlene nervously chuckles, immediately releasing her paw from his.
"You alright, pal?" The male cat asks, confused by her behavior.
"Oh, yeah, I'm great. Yep, totally great." The female cat replies, her attention now solely at the park. "So, wanna go grab some food?" She asks, hoping this would prevent any more awkwardness between them.
"You bet. I'm always up for food." Sam leaps off the bench. "I wouldn't be Garfield if I wasn't. Oh, I-I mean Sam Spayed! I meant Sam Spayed!" He quickly corrects himself.
"Hmm mmm mmm." Alrene can't help but laugh at his little blunder. "It's alright, you can call yourself whatever you like." She places her paw on his shoulder…
…before immediately pulling it back when he confusingly stares at it.
"Oh, sorry." She nervously grins.
Not too far away from the park, Odie quickly follows the familiar scent of his two feline roommates with his nose as he traverses towards the quiet side of town, eyeing every single corner of the area should a Claw member find him and plan a surprise attack…
…or snipe a bullet right through his head.
Not wanting to ponder that thought for another second, the dog strictly focuses on tracking the scent through the empty streets of the city. Upon reaching the park, the scent grows stronger as he inches closer towards the bench. Leaping onto it, his nose practically confirms that they were just here, so they're not far behind. Coincidentally, this happens to be the exact same bench that he rested on while he was looking for the dreaded panther a while back****.
(****What Happened To Lyman - Chapter 4: The Quest…For Revenge!****)
Leaping back to the ground, Odie continues following their trail as it leads him out of the park, and back into the empty streets.
Garfield and Arlene keep a low profile as they step out of the Binky Burger, carefully observing their surroundings to make sure there are no other animals in the area, for no one can be trusted from here on out.
"Alright, we're clear." Arlene whispers, ushering for her disguised friend to follow her outside.
"Mmm mmm, these fries are great!" Sam already stuffs his face as soon as they exit through the door, not even caring that his tail is sticking out of his coat again. "*BURP* Definitely worth maxing out Jon's credit card."
"Did you really have to order over a hundred chicken nuggets?" The female cat asks, carrying half of their, or rather his, dinner.
"Yep, I never miss out on any meal, unless it's the meatloaf." The male cat replies, his mouth full of nuggets. "*GULP* Besides, Jon won't let me have any chicken at the house anymore after the bone-choking incident."
"No chicken at all?" Arlene asks. "Not even chicken sandwiches?"
"Nada." Sam replies, tossing more nuggets in his mouth. "So, anywhere you want to sit? My feet are killing me!"
"Well, maybe we can sit on that fence over there and, y'know, watch the sunset?" Arlene suggests, pointing at the empty alley right near them. "No one will bother us there."
"Eh, if you say so." Sam said, for he just wants to find somewhere where he can sit down and finish his dinner.
Odie's nose touches the sidewalk as it continues following the trail, only stopping upon spotting a shiny, red fire hydrant along the path. He didn't want to waste any time looking for his friends, but at the same time, he desperately needed a pee break. Conceding, the dog lifts up his leg and proceeds to urinate right onto the hydrant.
*AHHHHHHH* Odie sighs in relief, giving himself a moment to fully enjoy his urinating venture.
'Hey, hey, HEY!" Another dog angrily approaches him. "That's my little private spot, you asshole!"
*GRRRRRRRRRR* Odie growls, clearly not in the mood to deal with anyone and their petty complaints at the moment.
"Oh, you wanna fight, tough guy, huh!?" The other dog grabs him. "Do ya!?"
Odie rolls his eyes as he points his pee pee right at the other dog…
…and start releasing it onto him.
"Gahhh! My eyes!" The dog screams as the urine lands directly onto his eyes, temporarily blinding him as he steps back…
*BAM*
…and slams right into a trash can, tipping it to the ground and spilling trash all over him.
"Euuugh! Gross!" He groans in disgust, covering his nose.
*HEH HEH HEH* Odie chuckles.
"Oh, you think that's so funny!?" The other dog wipes the urine from his eyes and stands back up. "Then laugh at this!"
*WHOOSH* Odie dodges the punch with little to no effort, much to the complete and utter shock of his opponent.
"What the hell!?" The other dog goes for another, harder punch…
*WHOOSH*
…only for it to be effortlessly dodged again.
"Why, I oughta-"
Arlene helps Garfield climb up the fence, setting the remaining food down next to them as they make themselves comfortable. Grabbing a box of nuggets, Arlene starts eating her part of the meal as Garfield is close to finishing his.
"Ahhh, now that hit the spot." Sam said, rubbing his stomach as it digests 80 pieces of chicken nuggets all at one…on top of all the fries being digested in there as well…
…and the ice cream he had earlier.
Arlene, once again, can't stop herself from looking at Garfield. Even though his body is fully covered up by his trench coat, she can still see his face very clearly…
…his dreamy, gorgeous face…
…all covered up with grease from the fries. To any other girl, it would be a repulsive sight…
…but to her…
…it was the most beautiful face she ever saw.
*SIGH* Sighing affectionately, the pink cat slowly inches herself closer to Garfield as he finishes his last box of nuggets, not even bothering to finish her own food.
"Isn't this perfect, Garfield?" Arlene asks softly.
"What do you mean?" The orange cat asks.
"Just you and me, and this beautiful sunset." She explains.
"Yeah, I…guess this is a nice view." Sam said.
"Yep, it sure is." Arlene said, now sitting very close to him.
"Whoa whoa, personal space, please." Sam slightly pulls himself away from her.
"Sorry." The pink cat nervously said, covering her face in embarrassment.
"What's going on with you, lately?" He asks. "First, you convince me to come out of the house with you while the Claws are hunting us down, then, you touched my hand at the park, and now you're-"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
They suddenly hear a scream right outside the alley. Turning behind them, they see a dog having just been tossed directly into a wall. Groaning in immense pain, the dog gets himself back up and spots the two cats staring at him, perplexed on what they just saw.
"That dog over there is crazy, I tell ya!" The dog shouts before frantically running out of the alley for his dear life.
*GRRRRRRR* Odie growls at him as he makes himself visible to the two felines.
"Odie!?"
The dog turns around and rushes towards his friends, so relieved to have found them safe and sound.
"Goddamn it!" Arlene ponders in her head, upset that this happened right as she was about to confess something to Garfield. "What are you doing here!?"
*ARF ARF ARF* Odie sternly barks.
"I know, Odie!" Sam said. "I know it's too dangerous for any of us to be out and about right now with the Claws looking for us, but I was hungry! Sooooooo…yeah. Sorry for scaring you like that."
*MMM MMM MMMMMMM* Odie whimpers, climbing up to the fence and giving his best friend a nice, big lick in the face, just happy that he's still alive.
"It's alright, buddy." Garfield assures him, gently patting him on the head. "I know you're just looking out for me."
Arlene can't help but smile seeing the two best friends quickly forgiving each other. Yeah, Odie did ruin her big chance, but there's always another time, and perhaps it's for the best, given how Garfield was already put off by her advances. As the three pets watch the sun settling down from the fence, and the stars now illuminating the dark blue sky, Arlene spots a lone shooting star soaring across the Earth…
…and with it…
…she quietly makes a wish…
…a wish that one day…
…one fateful day…
…she and Garfield can finally go deeper…
…but for now…
…she is content with her life now…
…with her family.