I am blown away by the amount of support for this story. You guys are amazing! I apologize for the delay in updates. Between teaching, being a mommy, having company come in for the holiday weekend and planning my husband's birthday, then having a boatload of papers to grade, life has been a little busy. Thank you for your continued patience and support. Each and every follow, favorite and review makes my heart dance with joyful giddiness and helps inspire me to write the next chapter, and so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Beth had spent the morning keeping to herself. Daryl had made sure she had plenty to eat, had shown her what plants to avoid, and had left her with a pistol and a knife, just in case. Merle left with the group shortly after Daryl had left, so she was alone with her thoughts for the most part. She began to wish she knew the members of the camp a little better, especially Amy and Andrea, so she'd have someone to talk to about what had happened the night before...and earlier that morning.
She thought of the many nights spent with Maggie, hiding giggles behind their hands, hearing stories of this boy fumbling in the dark to try to unhook her sister's bra, or that one who thought he had found third base but had "actually fouled out after leaving second." Daryl certainly wasn't as inept as the boys her sister had complained about.
A sad smile crept onto Beth's face, and for the moment, she was glad she was alone in the tent as tears pricked her eyes. She wondered if her family had given up on ever finding her...if they were even still alive.
Beth sniffed and let silent tears fall in the privacy of the tent. Along with her aching heart, she was still sore, physically, and still sad that she'd had to make the choice she had. The kicker was that she knew eventually he would want sex from her, that her hand wouldn't be enough for him for long, she just hadn't expected it so early in their "relationship." More so, she was surprised Daryl showed as much remorse as he had for not realizing the gravity of his actions. She had him pegged as a man who took what he wanted, regardless of the consequences or who he hurt along the way, but the morning after, everything felt so...heartfelt. Even if he hadn't said it repeatedly, she'd have known he was well and truly sorry just by his actions and behavior. If she were honest, she'd probably rather he'd just left her alone, but there was something in his voice, his demeanor, that had her acquiescing to his pleas and let him touch her the way he had earlier that morning.
The actual sex was...good...she supposed, once she got past the initial pain and nervousness. It was clear he was only concerned with himself, using her to find his own release, paying no mind when she tried asking him to slow his pace with a soft "Daryl, please." Still, once her body had grown accustomed to the act itself, she was able to focus on other things – the strength in Daryl's arms around her, his breath ghosting over her skin in time with his thrusts, the feeling of his mouth on her skin. All things considered, it could have been a lot worse. If circumstances had been different, she might have even found pleasure in it.
When Daryl offered to make sure "she got hers" that morning, she had been a little curious to see what it would be like. Her Sunday school teacher had taught her that touching herself was wrong, and it was so deeply ingrained in her that she wouldn't let her boyfriend, Jimmy, come close, either. That morning when Daryl had worked his fingers in and around her, it still felt wrong...but so very good. To hear Maggie tell it, having an orgasm was the best thing on earth, and while Beth couldn't wholeheartedly agree, it was...well, it was pretty fantastic. She smiled to herself, remembering the rush of heated electricity that had shot through her as his hand and mouth worked their magic. He'd seemed surprised she'd never had an orgasm before; she was surprised to find it lived up to the hype, and that he could have such an effect on her.
Even though she still barely knew him, there was no denying he was just as good at having sex as he was at kissing, which made him highly skilled in both areas. It wasn't that Beth was necessarily looking forward to the next time they had sex – though now that they'd crossed that line, she realized there weren't many reasons she could give him to avoid it in the future – but would she actively avoid it when he asked?
She'd just have to cross that bridge when she got to it.
Beth spent most of that first day in the tent, convinced that the moment she stepped outside, everyone in the camp would know she'd slept with Daryl, and she just wasn't ready to face anyone just yet. She made sure to ration the food Daryl had left her, sipping at her water bottles periodically so she wouldn't need to make any mad dashes for the woods to pee. Once during that first day, Amy stopped by, calling through the wall of the tent to see if she was okay, and Beth unzipped the entrance to talk to her for a bit, the whole time trying hard to avoid looking at Amy to see the judgement in her eyes, and not just from her having sex. Beth remembered Daryl's mouth playing along the sides of her neck and was sure the marks he'd left were just as dark as ever; she also knew Amy, like her sister Andrea, was pretty upset at the bruises left there, so she did her best to keep them at least partially hidden. After a few minutes of conversation, Beth joined Amy for a quick walk, just to stretch her legs a little. She found a bush with the berries Daryl had shown her and used her shirt to hold the ones she collected, offering the younger Harrison sister some to share.
Soon after they'd returned and Beth had eaten a small supper, she heard a car alarm sounding, and drawing nearer every minute. She armed herself with her knife like Daryl had taught her, stowing the pistol in the back of her jeans, and peeked out of the tent to see what was going on. She saw Shane stomping across the camp to a red sports car, popping the hood and yanking the wires to disconnect the battery from the alarm. Glenn crawled out of the driver's seat and mumbled something to Shane, though Beth couldn't hear what. Behind the car approached a small delivery truck, and the rest of the crew that had left earlier that morning hopped out of the back. Standing awkwardly near the rear bumper was a man she didn't recognize.
She also noticed that Merle was nowhere to be seen. A sense of dread washed through her as she realized what that might mean.
The next thing she knew, Lori and Carl were racing toward the new man, who had fallen to his knees. Beth realized this was Lori's husband, Carl's father; a quick glance at Shane confirmed it. She began to tear up, not only in a shared joy at seeing a family reunited, but because of yet another reminder that she had no idea if her family were still alive or if she would ever see them again if they were.
Even though she'd already eaten, Beth joined the group around one of the fires later that evening, buttoning up Daryl's borrowed shirt to hide the hickies he'd left as best she could. The man, Rick Grimes, told about how he'd woken up from a coma in a hospital, not knowing anything that had happened in the days that had passed. The group didn't seem too upset that Merle hadn't returned with them – something about him being out of control and Rick having to handcuff him to the roof of a building – but were more concerned with having to tell Daryl, acting like he was some kind of untrustworthy, reckless, wild animal. Beth almost took offense to that. Yes, he was rough around the edges, and was surly and rude far more often than not, and she'd much rather not be in this arrangement with him if she could help it, but she knew deep down that he was a good man. These people, whom Daryl had barely made contact with and was in fact spending days on end to bring them back fresh food, were now warning Rick that Daryl wouldn't handle the news of his brother very well at all.
Well, of course he wouldn't. What kind of person would hear that their only living kin was stranded, chained up, surrounded by the walking dead, and be completely alright with it? Beth kept her mouth shut and wondered what they said about her when she wasn't with them. They'd been nice enough to her face, but they'd also been at least cordial to Daryl...that is until his back was turned.
That night, Beth slept with her knife tucked under her pillow, just in case. Without either of the Dixon brothers there, she felt more vulnerable than usual.
The next day, late in the morning, she heard Amy scream, then a commotion coming from the far side of the camp. Beth didn't dare go too far from the tent, not that its thin walls would do much to protect her. Moments later, she heard Daryl calling for her and Merle, yelling something about a squirrel stew. She unzipped the flap and stepped out, surprised to see him after only one night when he'd said he'd be gone at least two days.
"Where's Merle?" he asked warily.
Her heart immediately went out to him. He didn't know. Beth could only stammer and shake her head, unsure of how to tell him. "He...he's not here."
"Well, where the hell is he?" He was obviously getting angrier with each passing minute.
"There was a problem in Atlanta," Shane stepped in and explained.
Beth watched as Daryl heard from Shane and Rick what had happened on that last supply run that ended up with them barely escaping with their lives, and in fact without Merle. Daryl reacted just the way they all predicted, lashing out, throwing his string of squirrels at Rick and pulling his knife from its sheath. Shane grabbed him from behind, putting Daryl in a choke hold.
"Stop it!" Beth cried out, running closer to the scuffle. "Let him go!" she yelled as she pushed on Shane's shoulder. Her actions had caused just enough of a slip in Shane's concentration to give Daryl a chance to get out of the hold and up on his feet again. Shane glared daggers at the two of them, and Daryl put himself between Beth and Shane, pushing her behind his back.
The two former policemen continued trying to explain why Rick made the choice he did. The man everyone called T-Dog spoke up, explaining that he had the key, but had dropped it down a drain.
"The hell with all y'all," Daryl yelled, his voice shaking with emotion. Beth placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, a little surprised that he didn't immediately shrug her off. "Tell me where he is so I can go get 'im," he demanded of the men.
Soon they decided that Rick, Glenn and T-Dog would all go with Daryl to retrieve Merle from the rooftop, much to the chagrin of Shane, Lori and Carl. While the other three men made their preparations, Beth brought Daryl back to their tent. He didn't ask if she was okay like every other time they'd been apart for any amount of time, though she figured he was still too upset about his brother to be too concerned with her, but she couldn't blame him in the least.
"Daryl, I..." she started.
"Buncha fuckin' assholes," he growled out, pacing what little he could within the confines of the tent.
She sat close to the corner to keep out of his way. "Have you eaten yet today?" she asked softly and was met with his heated glare for an answer. She pulled out the bag of jerky and a bottle of water and stood up to give it to him. "You need to eat something before you go. Last thing anyone needs is a cranky and hungry redneck," she tried to joke with him, hoping he'd take it as one.
This time his look was less heated glare and more a look of astonishment.
Beth walked up to him and reached out for his hand, placing both items in his palm, feeling his eyes on her the entire time. She looked up at him, mere inches separating them, and gave him a tiny smile. "You should rest a little before you go, too. Can't imagine you got much sleep last night." She took a step back toward the sleeping bag, her hand still cupping the back of his until she sat down and their hands naturally fell apart from each other. She invited him to join her with a little pat beside her.
She wasn't sure where this generosity, this need to nurture, was coming from. Yesterday morning she'd all but hated him, but last night she was ready to speak up in his defense. She'd even caught herself reliving their little tryst in her mind last night before falling asleep. Her emotions were all over the place, and she wasn't sure how to handle them. At the moment, she felt sympathy for him – she could definitely relate to not knowing whether their families were alive, dead, or somewhere in between. And to come back nearly emptyhanded after a full day of hunting to have the people he was trying to feed tell him they'd basically left his brother for dead...well, she'd be pretty pissed, too.
She didn't know when she'd forgiven him, but seeing him so upset had her heart going out to him. Sometime in the past twenty-four hours, her heart and mind had both accepted that what had happened...happened. There was no going back and undoing it, and it had guaranteed her safety as long as Daryl was around.
Eventually he joined her on the ground, guzzling the water and chewing the jerky noisily, peeking at her out of the corner of his eye. "You didn't have to do that, you know," he muttered around a mouthful of food. Beth looked at him quizzically, and he explained, "Steppin' in like that wi' me an' Shane. I'd-a handled it."
She fought the urge to roll her eyes and shrugged instead. "It wasn't right, what they did. To either of you," she added. She watched him quietly, playing with a piece of hair that had fallen loose from her ponytail. "So no deer, huh?" she hazarded to ask.
"Damn walker got to it before I could," he mumbled around a mouthful. He paused his chewing and looked over at her, a sudden realization dawning on him. "The hell were you plannin' on eatin'?"
"I think I'll manage. I've been trained as a bona fide squirrel chef, and it looked like you had at least a dozen on that rope you threw at Rick." She breathed out a giggle, "He kinda deserved it, though. How could someone do something like that?"
"Ain't the first time a cop handcuffed Merle for bein'...well, Merle. Just the first time one fuckin' left him for dead," he shrugged. "Hell," he continued, "only Merle can kill Merle, and believe me, he's come close."
After Daryl had eaten and rested a short while, he stood up and started arming himself with the few weapons he had left. Beth had serious doubts whether he was actually in any kind of shape to go on this rescue mission, neither physically nor mentally, but somehow she knew nothing she could say would change his mind from leaving, and she couldn't really blame him for it. If she knew her brother or sister was there in any kind of danger, she'd be chomping at the bit to get to them, too. Still, there was a part of her that was worried for him, not that he couldn't handle himself. It was a little self-serving, she regretted, but if Daryl didn't return, what would happen to her?
He bent to exit the tent when she reached out to grab his hand. She wasn't sure if the rush of electricity that jolted her heart was from his touch or from his crystal blue eyes meeting hers. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry and her heart in her throat. "Just...be careful," she whispered. Daryl nodded and ducked under the flap, leaving Beth with a mix of confusion and anxiety coursing through her. She pushed the emotions away and followed Daryl outside.
Shane and Rick were having a heated discussion as Glenn and T-Dog waited in the box truck that had brought most of the group back the day prior. Daryl had been pacing in the cargo part of the truck as the other men spoke. Finally growing impatient, Daryl stepped over Glenn's shoulder to press his foot on the horn, calling for Rick to hurry up.
Beth bit back a smile and returned to the tent.
Thank you for reading - please take a moment and leave a review!