a/n - hey guys! it took me a while to get thru this chapter. writers block is a bitch.
i don't normally request this from u guys, but pls let me know what u think so far! your nice comments rly motivate me.
and just to let u guys know, drama's coming :) stay tuned.
"I'm fucked."
Cho doesn't even blink at the wrangled confession. He takes a long sip of his coffee, sets it down, and says, "okay."
"No, Cho. I'm really fucked." Patrick sits across from him at Beanie's, a small coffee shop at the edge of town. It's one of the few places that serves actually good tea. "I can't stop thinking about her and Theo. It's like they've taken up all the space in my mind and there's no room for anything else."
Cho's granite expression doesn't shift, but an unrecognizable emotion flickers in his eyes. "Is Theo her kid?"
"Yeah." The blonde smiles as an image of the little boy pops up in his mind. "He's great. His mom is even greater."
"You sound fucked."
"I am," Patrick insists. "I don't know what to do. She's perfect. Too good for me. I don't deserve her but she's all I fucking want."
"You always have a plan for everything, yet when it comes to a woman you might as well be a damn turkey." Cho shakes his head in disbelief.
"That's very unkind of you," Patrick tuts. "Don't make me bring up that barista you used to be head over heels for back in our twenties. What was her name again? Ah, right. Summer."
Cho glares at the man opposite him. "I was not head over heels for Summer."
"Uh huh. I remember you being short on rent because you blew all your money at that coffee shop just so you could see her."
Cho grumbles under his breath. "She was hot, okay? Besides, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you falling in love with a mom and her kid."
"You're right." Patrick shovels a forkful of eggs into his mouth and chews thoughtfully. He swallows. "You have to meet her soon. She's beautiful. Long, dark hair, the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen, like emeralds— "
"You sound like you're fourteen developing a crush for the first time," Cho cuts in with a bored tone.
"She makes me feel like I'm fourteen," he sighs. "I feel like I'm cheating on Angela."
"You're not." Cho pins him with a stare. "It's been five years. You're finally moving on. This is the only woman you've shown any interest in since she died. Don't drive her away just because you're feeling guilty over your dead wife."
If it were anyone else, Patrick would reach across the table and break their fingers. But since it's Cho, his one and only best friend, he remains seated and dwells on the truth in his words.
When he thinks of Teresa, he feels the familiar flapping of butterflies in his stomach. When he imagines her smiling his heart skips a beat. And when he remembers how her lips feel on his, he feels like he's walking on water.
Bliss. It's what he feels when he's with her.
"So you think I should continue seeing her?" Patrick's tone is a mix of uncertainty and apprehension.
"Do you think you shouldn't?"
"I don't know what I think anymore."
The waitress comes around with their food, cutting their conversation short. As she leaves Cho digs into his plate of waffles and eggs while Patrick just eyes his own food, his appetite now gone.
It isn't that he wants to stop seeing Teresa. Everyday the urge to see her grows, and that's the problem. He shouldn't want to see another's woman's smile or hear her laugh or notice the way her eyes spark when she glances at her son. He's supposed to be in love with Angela and only her even after her death. He isn't supposed to fall for anyone else.
But the universe has sent him Teresa and Theo instead of letting him mourn like he's meant to. Maybe the world is tired of seeing him miserable and alone and decided to give him some happiness to hold onto. Some hope.
He can't ignore the universe. The only thing he can do is move forward.
"Keep seeing this woman. Or don't. It's your life, not mine." Cho pats his lips with a napkin, eyes trained on his breakfast. "But there's something I'm absolutely sure of."
"And what's that?"
"If you let her go, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
The shorter man dives back into eating, leaving Patrick to slowly realize the truth in his words. And his food remains untouched.
————
"Give me your other foot, please."
Theo lifts his right leg and allows his mother to tug his sneaker on. He drives his toy car up and down his legs while she ties his laces for him.
"There, all done." She drops his leg and stands up, helping Theo hop off the bed. He imitates the sound of a car engine and runs out of the room, stomping his little feet. The sight makes her smile.
It's been a week since her carnival date with Patrick and she's aching to see him again. Due to her job she rarely gets days off, but she can request a few of them if she mentions Theo. Everyone at the office knows she's a single mom, so it's not hard to get what she wants.
She's been thinking about settling down and going for a desk job, but that gets lower pay and she needs the money if she wants to give Theo a stable life. Working in the field is more up her alley. Though sometimes it's hard when she's forced to see a dead child and can't help but think about it being Theo.
Her job is hard, but she makes do.
When Patrick called her the night before to set up another date, she had to force the childlike squeal of excitement out of her throat. It was ridiculous, really. She's thirty-five years old. She shouldn't be acting like a teenager going on her first date with a cute boy. But she can't ever seem to shake the butterflies away.
She runs her hands over her dress to flatten any wrinkles and turns to the mirror in her room. It's a pretty black sundress with white flowers decorating it. No sleeves so it exposes her freckled shoulders and the hem flows out around her knees.
When she was younger, she absolutely despised dresses even though her mother told her they looked beautiful on her. She'd always been more of a tomboy, so the thought of appearing feminine repulsed her. She'd rather wear oversized men's t-shirts, baggy jeans and a hat on her head. But as she grew older and saw just how pretty dresses could be, she started wearing them. Now they're kind of an everyday thing unless she's at work, where she wears blouses and work pants.
As she combs her fingers through her chestnut curls the doorbell rings, indicating that Patrick's already here to pick them up. She curses under her breath and rushes to get the door, but Theo beats her to it, opening the door after peeking through the window to see who it is.
"Pat!" Theo exclaims, ever so happy to see the blonde man again. "Are we going to the carnival again today?"
Patrick laughs at the boy's nickname for him and shakes his curls. "Not today, buddy. I have something else planned for us."
"What is it?"
"It's a surprise. Now, where's your mom?"
"I'm here." Teresa appears in the doorway and a smile immediately lights up his face, causing her to duck her head and blush. He has a way of making her weak in the knees even when doing nothing at all.
His eyes slowly rake her body before coming up to rest on her face, the blinding smile still in place. "You look beautiful."
Her blush deepens to a crimson shade. "Thank you. You look handsome, per usual."
It's not a lie. He's clad in a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans, the simplest of things, but he still manages to look like a three course meal, especially with his head of curls and sea-green eyes.
"What about me, mama?" Theo looks up at her with a frown. "You didn't say I look handsome."
Teresa eyes her son and bends down to ruffle his hair. "That's because you're always handsome. I don't need to tell you."
That's enough to satisfy the four year old. He turns back around to face Patrick. "Can we go now? I wanna see the surprise."
A chuckle escapes the man's lips. Nodding, he says, "yes, we can go now if your mom's ready."
"I'm more than ready." Teresa follows them out, locking the door and hearing Theo talk Patrick's ear off as he switches the car seat to his car.
It's very rare for Theo to find someone he likes and feels comfortable enough to talk to. It took him six whole months to get comfortable with Grace and Wayne, but it only took a week with Patrick. It's like the man is a child whisperer or something. Seeing the boy act freely around him makes her heart burst with warmth.
"So where are we going, exactly?" She asks as he pulls out of her driveway.
"Just like I told Theo, it's a surprise." He winks at her.
She rolls her eyes. "I don't like surprises."
"Well I must change that then, shouldn't I?"
"Just tell me where we're going. I'm impatient. Please?" She pouts, unaware of how much of an effect that would have on the man in the driver's seat.
His fingers grip the wheel tighter and he swallows hard, his face feeling hot. "Woman, stop that."
Her brows furrow in confusion. "Stop what?"
"Stop pouting."
"Why?"
"Because it—," he stops himself and glances in the rearview mirror, finding Theo zooming one of the toy cars he snuck out of the house along the seats, "—does something to me," he finishes under his breath.
Her expression remains confused. A few seconds tick by before she realizes what he means and gasps softly. "Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," he says, shifting in his seat. "I swear, everything about you just makes me go crazy."
Another blush blankets her pale cheeks and she hides it behind her curls.
Five minutes later they've reached their destination: a huge, green park. Theo instantly squeals in his car seat once he sees the slide and swing set, unable to get out of the car fast enough.
The two adults have to rush out of the car before he disappears into the sea of kids. Patrick tells her to go find a picnic table while he gets something out of the back, so she does.
She doesn't expect him to come up with a whole picnic basket in hand. Her mouth falls slightly open as he sets it down. "Ta-da!"
"Is there food in there?" She lifts the lid and takes a peek. Sure enough, there are sandwiches inside, along with chips, fruits, and water bottles.
He laughs. "What else would be in there?"
"I don't know. It just seems too good to be true." As she takes out the contents of the basket, she realizes they're all her favorite foods. A turkey sub sandwich, salt and vinegar chips, and a small bowl of fresh strawberries.
"Do you like it?"
"Are you kidding me? This is amazing." She presses a firm kiss to his lips, pulling away and rendering him speechless. "How'd you even know these are my favorites?"
It takes him a few seconds to recover from that abrupt kiss, but he manages to answer in a clean voice. "I'm a good guesser."
It's the same answer he gave when they were on their way to their first date.
"A psychic. Right." She unwraps her sandwich and takes a bite, turning towards the playground. Theo is swinging by himself, far from the other kids, which is nothing new for him.
"Fake psychic, my dear," he reminds her. "But I really am a good guesser."
"I don't doubt that."
They eat for the next fifteen minutes, talking and watching Theo play from their table. For a minute Patrick becomes reminiscent, remembering what it feels like to have a family.
His chest starts to ache and the bite of his sandwich becomes hard to swallow.
Teresa and Theo aren't his family. Angela and Charlotte are.
He's been forgetting that more and more lately.
Teresa is quick to notice his change in demeanor. Her tone is concerned as she asks, "is everything okay?"
He wishes everything were. But it's not, and it never will be.
"I'm— I'm sorry, Teresa." He abruptly stands up, unable to look her in the eye. He doesn't want to see the hurt in those beautiful pools of green.
"You're sorry? What for?"
"I have to go, Teresa. I'm sorry. Tell Theo I'm sorry." Without giving any explanation, he hurries to his car, gets in, and drives off, leaving her and Theo stranded at the park.
"Patrick? Patrick!" She tries to call after him, but it's no use. He's gone.
Theo hears her shouts and comes running, his eyes wide. "Mama? What happened? Where's Pat?"
Teresa's body slumps. "He left."
Just like she'd known he would.