Finally! I promised you all I wouldn't abandon any of my stories, it's just going to take me a while to get updates out to you. One of my New Year resolutions is to write at least thirty minutes every day, so hopefully that helps keep things going a little. Thanks for your patience. Without further ado, here we go!
"At least we've got some spare clothes inside," Beth gave a small smile as she and Daryl huddled under the overhang of the tiny porch of the house they'd found. They'd been out on a hunt trying to find some fresh meat to go with yet another meal of canned vegetables when a sudden storm kicked up and drenched them through as they raced to get home.
The group had been bouncing from one neighborhood to another in search of a place to live that could compare to the Greenes' farm for weeks. So far, they'd found houses that had room enough for everyone, but no ready source of food. Autumn had settled in, so any backyard gardens had either been choked out by weeds, eaten over by rabbits and squirrels, or rotted away, everything left unchecked by the former caretakers, as they were most likely either dead or one of the walking dead. Everyone in their group would take a couple days scouring the neighborhood for anything they could use, namely food and clothing, gasoline where they could find it. Daryl and Beth had been going out as often as they could to try to catch any kind of animal that was out looking for its own meal.
He'd been taking Beth along with him everywhere he went lately. He damn sure wasn't leaving her behind with her supposed family anymore, and everyone else in the group was so consumed with taking care of themselves, he doubted they would pay any mind to Beth. The thought made him clench his teeth in anger so often the muscles in his jaw were starting to get sore.
Not that he minded having Beth with him. For one, she was picking up any and all inadvertent lessons he'd given her as they walked together, learning to track so well that he began letting her take the lead on their daily walks, only correcting her every now and then. For two, he had peace of mind when she was with him. He knew she was safe when she was with him, and as each day passed, that mattered more and more to him.
It was more than that, though. She had a calming presence about her, and he felt himself relax when he was with her, despite the tiny bump she was starting to show under her shirt, which had become about the only thing around that could make him a little nervous. The girl had such a small frame to begin with, any changes to her body because of the pregnancy were immediately noticeable.
Her belly wasn't the only part of her starting to become more pronounced. Daryl couldn't help but notice when her breasts were beginning to swell, just slightly. Looking at her now, with her shirt clinging to her where her jacket didn't cover her, he glanced down appreciatively to see the slightest hint of cleavage, even underneath the dingy fabric. They hadn't had sex since the farm, which was a month ago at least, not that he wasn't willing. The problem was, with being on the road so much, spending most of their days hunting for food or shelter, there weren't a ton of opportunities making themselves available, and even if the occasion arose, they were usually too wiped out to muster up any more energy to do anything about it. He'd thought about having a quickie out in the woods while they were out, away from everyone else, but the thought of being mid-act and having to stop because of a damn walker pushed the idea out of his head without fail.
Even he wasn't horny enough to put up with that shit.
Besides, he didn't really know if she could even have sex in her condition, and he wasn't about to show his ignorance by asking. Instead, he'd just wait until the situation presented itself and see how far he could get.
In the meantime, she'd kept her end of their deal by giving him hand jobs often enough. It got to the point where he wouldn't even have to ask anymore. They had a rotating schedule to keep watch at night, and Daryl would be on guard more often than not. When his shift was over, he'd slip into whichever room Beth was sleeping and curl up next to her. He was always sure to stay quiet, his silent tread just part of his natural gait, but she would wake up when he got to her without fail, blinking those blue eyes up at him in the moonlight and scooting herself over to make room for him in whatever bedding they had found. She would slide her pillow over to him and rest her own head on his chest and shoulder, her hand resting just above his heart. He never knew if she would start tracing indiscriminate patterns on his chest to try to help him or herself sleep, but it ended up having the same effect on him every time, and within minutes he would start to drift off to sleep.
And then there were those nights, every so often, when he would feel her grin against him as her hand sneaked down his torso, wriggling under his belt and waistband of his boxers to find him already hard for her.
He never questioned any of it. Never thought to ask if she wanted anything in return – surely she'd ask if she did. He never paid any mind to those sleeping near them – if they wanted to look, that was on them. Besides, it took just enough of the edge off his mind to help him get some rest before they had to face…whatever the next day would bring them. No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Daryl shook his head now, bringing himself back to the moment on the porch, and scattered cold drops of rain around him, smirking when Beth gave a tiny shriek when some of them landed on her even though she was just as soaking wet as he was. He readjusted the string of squirrels and rabbits he had thrown over his shoulder, "C'mon. Let's get you inside."
After depositing their contribution to dinner in the kitchen sink (he sure as hell wasn't going to cook the damn things for everyone, too), he followed Beth to the small bedroom they had claimed. Shacking up with the pregnant girl had its benefits: no one would dare ask her to sleep on the floor, so they were currently sharing a bed. Granted, it was a twin bed (Rick, Lori, and Carl had taken up the master bedroom), in a room decorated for a pre-teen boy, but it sure as hell beat any alternative he could come up with. At least this house was already empty, not like the last one, where they had to clear out the bodies of the young, growing family that had occupied it.
The memories of that house would probably plague him for a long damn time.
Beth brought him out of his thoughts, holding a fresh t-shirt out for him while starting to peel his vest off his shoulders. "We're gonna have to find you something warmer soon," she said softly, hanging the leather garment on the back of the doorknob before moving to lift the hem of his currently soaked shirt up his abdomen.
"Don' need no help," he grumbled, taking the dry shirt from her and switching them out so he was never showing too much skin at once. Despite being in her presence almost constantly for as long as they'd been together, he was still uneasy about being completely exposed like that, even to her.
Beth at least had the good nature to humor his modesty and turned around to give him his privacy. Once he was dry from the waist up, he glanced over at her just in time to see her wriggle out of her jeans, seemingly growing tighter each day. He immediately looked away, not through any sense of his own decency, but because he didn't need any ideas. He'd been having enough of them already.
Apparently, he hadn't moved his eyes quite fast enough. Beth giggled, bringing his attention right back to her to see a grin curling at the ends of her lips. "You okay over there?"
Now that her jacket was off, he could see just how hard her nipples were, practically poking through the thin fabric of her shirt. Her hips had filled out just slightly thanks to her pregnancy, making her curves even more enticing than before. And now here she was standing in her panties and a T-shirt that was hugging those new curves, but was still big enough to end up hitting mid-thigh on her.
Even though they'd been living in each other's pockets for the last couple months, Daryl was dumbstruck at the sight of her. There was nothing necessarily raunchy or revealing at all about the way she looked. It was her modesty that had him so captivated.
And then she collapsed.
Daryl's heart jumped into his throat as he rushed to her side. Thankfully she had caught herself on the edge of the bed, and maybe that was what she had meant to do all along, but damn if it hadn't scared him regardless. His mind started trying to wrap his brain around it all, what had made her collapse like she had. He always made sure she had food to eat, but he knew she wasn't getting what she needed.
What the baby needed. Their baby.
Jesus. The idea still shook him sometimes.
Beth let out a loud, if not a tad overdramatic, yawn. "Oh, god, Daryl, I'm just so tired." She scooted back further up the bed, sliding under the Nintendo themed covers, then pulled out her hair tie, fanning her blonde hair into a messy halo when she laid her head on the pillow. "I think I'm just gonna take a nap. Think anyone will mind?" she asked through a yawn as her eyes already started to drift shut.
Daryl was ready to tell them all to go straight to hell if anyone did mind, but he kept that to himself. Instead he straightened himself to stand, looked back at her once more (swearing to himself that it was just out of habit), and went to leave.
The doorknob was in his hand when she called to him softly, "Stay with me?" Not moving his hand, he turned to answer that he was going to do any number of things - check his bolts and bow, clean off a squirrel or two for them to eat tonight, see who was scheduled for watch that night - but the look on her face stopped all the excuses in the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. She looked so sad, almost pitiful, her eyes pleading with him.
How the hell was he supposed to say no?
Daryl toed off his boots and crossed the room to join her on the bed. "Daryl," she stopped him before he could pull back the comforter. "Your pants are still wet."
He looked down, and sure enough, his pants were still soaked from the knee down, so much so that even his socks were now a little damp. He let his head fall back and focused on the ceiling as he unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, letting them fall to the floor. He picked them up, tossed them on the chair in the corner of the room, and crawled into the bed with Beth.
They immediately assumed their normal sleeping position, with her head resting on his shoulder and chest, his arm around her. He wasn't exactly tired, was just taking advantage of a damn good excuse to take a load off for a while, so he lay there awake, letting his thoughts drift. As they did, his fingers followed suit, trailing up and down her upper arm as her own hand rested over his heart.
Beth snuggled in, even closer to him than she had been, sliding her hand across his chest like she was pulling him into a one-armed hug, but wasn't squeezing. Next thing he knew, her lips were pressing against his neck, his jawline. When she started to nuzzle her way toward his earlobe, he pulled back and looked down at her questioningly, regretting it almost immediately when a deep blush crossed her cheeks. "What'cha doin, girl?" he asked, half teasingly, already pretty sure of what her answer would be.
Stammering, Beth struggled to get her answer out. "I...I just thought, since neither of us have anything to do...we could…"
"Do each other?" He chuckled at her reaction, which was to hide her face into his chest. "Thought you were tired."
"I am," she defended, "but...my hormones have been going absolutely crazy, and driving me crazy along with them."
Daryl moved onto his side, facing her, cringing as the springs of the mattress groaned under him. "Why didn't ya just say somethin'?"
Beth looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes, her hair falling forward to cover part of her face. "I've been trying to...hint at...things."
All those hand jobs. She was just asking for some attention and was still too damn shy to actually ask for it.
Didn't he feel like the asshole?
"You sure we can?" If she was willing to go out on a limb and ask for sex, he was finally willing to show his ignorance.
Nodding, Beth explained, "The book said it's okay. Well, as long as my doctor said it was, but since I don't really have one…" She looked up at him again, "Maybe we just...be careful? Take it slow?"
The irony of her asking him to be careful now was not lost on him, but he at least had the good sense not to mention it. Instead he tucked her hair back behind her ear and pressed his lips to hers. Her fingers worked their way up his chest, his neck, into his hair to pull him with her as she lay back on the pillow so he was half covering her.
The bed creaked beneath them again, this time much louder than before, making both of them pull apart immediately. Beth dropped her head on the pillow with a growl of a groan, heavy with frustration. "Nah," Daryl growled, "we ain't stoppin' now."
"But...they'll hear us," she said, her eyes glassy with tears.
"They hear Maggie an' Glenn all the damn time," Daryl argued then relented with a sigh. "C'mere," he pulled back to kneel before her, holding his hand out for her to take. He helped her off the bed, then quickly pulled the comforter off and spread it on the floor, the pillow following right after. He knelt again, helping her to the floor, grateful for the plush carpet beneath them rather than the hardwood that was in most of the rest of the house.
When she had settled, he lay next to her, running his hand along her side, tracing her curves down to her hip. She reached up for him, her fingers tracing along his arm, his shoulder, before curling into his hair and pulling him down to her.
It had been a while - weeks, in fact - since he'd kissed her. He'd damn near forgotten what it felt like to get lost in the sweetness of her mouth, to hear her soft moans filling his ears. Resting most of his weight on his elbow, making sure not to crush her, Daryl brought his other hand to her chest, anxious to feel her tits in his hand. When they were together on the farm, she had asked him to be gentle with them, that they were sensitive and painful, but based on her reaction now, the way she arched into his palm, he figured that stage had passed. Her nipple hardened beneath the fabric of her shirt as he rubbed his thumb back and forth against it. Suddenly it wasn't enough. Daryl struggled to find the hem of her shirt and work his hand underneath it to feel her soft skin beneath his own rough palm.
He smiled against her mouth as she let go a low moan when he found her again. Maybe she wouldn't mind a little more of his weight on top of her, after all.
"Daryl," she whispered against his lips, and he pulled back immediately, afraid he'd been wrong and he'd hurt her. "Touch me."
As far as he could remember, he'd never heard her be so direct when they were together like this. If he had the brain function to think about it in the moment, Daryl would realize that of all the times he'd been with some chick who started giving him orders, he'd never been as turned on by it as he was right now. Something about that sweet voice telling him to do something dirty like that...damn. He'd be an idiot to ignore her.
After a final squeeze, one last tease of her nipple, he ventured south, sliding his fingers under the waistband of her panties. "Christ, girl," he fought to whisper, "you're fuckin' soaked."
"I…" she gasped as he slid his fingers into her, "oh, God, Daryl…" Her breath caught in her throat as she fought back a moan trying to claw its way out. "It's like this all the time. I'm always...oh God!"
Daryl kissed her, his fingers curling into her to find that magical spot, until her pussy clamped down around his fingers and he swallowed the moans she couldn't contain any longer. She started coming down from her high, stealing kisses from him as her breathing returned to, well, not normal, but significantly slower. Her hips still ground against him, seeking more, and he couldn't help but grin against her. "All the time, huh? Not just me?" he teased.
Beth pulled back to look him in the eye. "I didn't say that," she whispered before pulling him down for another kiss. "I want you."
He grinned down at her, "Yes, ma'am."
.oOo.
Daryl pulled himself to his feet, stifling his groan that would expose just how much older he was than she. He was just grateful his knees didn't crack as he stood up. He paused just a second to let his back stretch out before holding his hand to help Beth off the floor, too. They both started getting dressed, though Daryl's pants were still wet and he just didn't have the energy to find dry ones just yet. He noticed Beth didn't bother with pants either, saying with a smile that she still wanted to take a nap now that she was relaxed, and he couldn't blame her if in the least.
They lay together on the bed, covered with the light comforter he'd retrieved from the floor, taking up their usual position with her head resting on his chest and shoulder. Beth seemed to be cuddling into him more than usual, even going so far as to hook her knee over his thigh. It was more than just not having room on the pillow to share. She was holding him, relaxing into him. Like she...wanted to be there with him.
He wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but damn if it didn't make him want to hold her a little closer, too.
"Daryl?" Beth spoke softly, and he hummed in reply. "Do you...can we...do that again?" Her fingers played along his chest like she liked to do, but he could still feel her nervousness trickling through her.
Why the hell was she nervous?
Daryl tried to make light of her question with a chuckle, "You gotta gimme a minute to recharge, but…"
Beth lifted her head to look at him, a grin curling the ends of her mouth upward. "Not now," she replied, rolling her eyes, "but...more than we have been?"
"Hell yeah, he responded without even pretending to think about it. No way was he going to pass up being with her any time she wanted, no matter what reason she gave him. "You just say the word, girl."
His answer seemed to bring her some kind of relief - as if she thought he might say no. She relaxed into his chest again, and his mind started to wander. Did she really think he'd say no to sex with her? Did she really think he was that mean? Was she still afraid of him after all this time they'd spent together? Maybe all those hand jobs he'd greedily accepted without reciprocation had her feeling like he didn't want her.
He wasn't exactly sure he liked that feeling. In fact, he was pretty sure that made him feel pretty shitty. Why the hell did she think he brought her along on hunts? Because he had to? Didn't she get that he liked having her with him, even if nothing physical happened between them?
His thoughts and emotions tore through him as he lay there with her, her breath slowing as she fell asleep with her hand over his heart. She looked peaceful - damn near angelic - and a wave of guilt surged through him.
Daryl would be the first to tell anyone that he was a redneck asshole, much like his brother, and most days he couldn't give two shits about what anyone thought of that. But now, looking at this girl, this woman, and realizing what he'd done to her, what he'd put her through, he felt downright ashamed of himself. He'd all but threatened her, fucked with her head, tricking her into having sex with him, stealing her virginity. He was so damn careless, only worried about getting a piece of ass, that he'd gone and knocked her up, which had ended up alienating her from her family. He'd taken everything from her, only promising food and safety, which in all honesty he couldn't really guarantee, not in this world. Game was getting more and more scarce as winter took over, and any cans of food they'd found in this neighborhood would only last for so long before they'd have to scavenge further out to find more. And he damn well knew what they did find wasn't ideal, wasn't enough for her and the baby to stay healthy.
Beth deserved better. Better than he could ever give her. And she was stuck with him.
He needed to get out, the urge to run overwhelming him. Daryl slid out from under her as carefully as he could, making sure to tuck her in and that she was fast asleep before stepping into his now damp and cold pants, throwing on his vest, and rushing through the house, not stopping until the cold air hit his face and filled his lungs. He held onto the flimsy aluminum railing on the porch that wobbled as he let it hold more of his weight. He really wanted to storm through the woods, kill something, punch a tree, something to keep this feeling of inadequacy from taking over.
And just what would that prove? That he was the piece of shit he felt like right now.
The screen door squeaked behind him. Great. Just what he needed: company.
Misery loves company - that's what they always said, right?
"Nice day, huh?" a voice came from behind him, though he had to look over his shoulder to confirm that it was Hershel joining him on the porch. It's not like they had much to talk about in the month they'd been on the road. The older man moved so he was even with Daryl at the railing, but making sure there was a decent amount of space between them. "Thanks for dinner. Carol's making the squirrels into some kind of stew. Should stick to our ribs a little."
Pulling himself from his self-loathing long enough to see through the crap, Daryl spoke up. "You can cut the small talk, ol' man. The hell you want?"
Hershel chuckled. Chuckled. He answered before Daryl had much of a chance to work himself up into fighting mode. "I want to thank you for taking care of Bethy when I couldn't. When I found out about her," he paused and took a breath as he searched for the right word, "condition, I let my emotions control my actions." Daryl saw him hang his head out of the corner of his eye. "She never said it was you. Just that a man had promised to protect her if she…" Hershel turned to face him. "I thought it was Shane, and I found out about Bethy just two days after what he did to my family...all those in the barn…" Daryl could practically feel the man's blood pressure rising at the memories. "I made an assumption that I shouldn't have, and I regret it."
"Need ta be tellin' her this," Daryl mumbled, wishing for a cigarette. He wasn't used to all this emotional shit.
Hershel nodded solemnly, "I'm working on that." He turned back toward the door, pausing before opening it and turned to face Daryl again, his hand still on the handle. "I can't say I'm happy about what's happened, that I'm going to be a grandfather at the end of the world, but I'm glad she has you to watch out for her. You're probably the most capable out of all of us. If anyone can ensure her survival, it's you." With those words lingering in Daryl's ears, Hershel left him to dwell on their brief conversation.
Well, shit, just go ahead and twist the knife a little deeper, why don't ya?
Daryl let out a heavy sigh as he watched the rain. He had to prove himself wrong on this one. He wouldn't leave her. Beth deserved better, so he'd be better. He didn't have any idea as to how to make that happen, but he was bound and determined to figure it out.
Thanks for reading - please leave a review!