In the stadium of the high school, Leo, captain of a soccer team, was ready to give a speech. He is a popular guy in the high school Dipper and Mabel is, tall, fit as fiddle and blonde. Many girls tried to have him as his boyfriend but he always politely rejected their advances which only enticed them, including Mabel.
Mabel, held her phone from which she and Dipper's friends from Gravity Falls she was talking. Both twins were now 14.
"Hey, look, it's your next conquest." Dipper gave an elbow to his sister who pouted with locked arms as Candy and Grenda giggled.
"When did you get so sassy?"
"I lost my tolerance for bullcrap in Gravity Falls." He uttered flatly which made his twin blow a raspberry.
Leo began to speak when the cheers were done "Thank you, thank you. This was all done in honor of the person who smitten me with wit, intelligence and carefree attitude that pushed me further to win this round and become the team captain, Dipper Pines." The bombshell dropped and the effect was nuclear.
"Whot?" Wendy blinked.
"WHAT!?" Pacifica outraged.
"HUH!?"Dipper's jaw fell.
Mabel didn't react at all, till her brain registered what happened and his eyes bulged "WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?" Her shout was so high everyone in the stadium could hear it and the air coming warped in pure disbelief that all this time, her next conquest was not only gay but also had an interest in her twin brother.
The girls who were hoping that it was one of them were shocked as well, disappointed or in one case fainted because now they found out why this guy never accepted any of them.
And worst of all, everyone inside the stadium was now looking at Dipper expectedly as he was miserably trying to shrink himself to not be noticed, After a full minute of this he decided he had to get out.
"Excuse me, I have contracted a disease." He then semi-ran away from the stadium, Mabel followed him as the sound of laughter can be heard from her phone caused by Wendy who was laughing herself in tears.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY CORDUROY!" The privileged blondie snarled at Wendy.
"Then why am I still laughing!?" said Corduroy now in tears.
Mabel as she walked uttered "Okay, that I did not expect…How's Paz doing?"
"I'M GONNA SUE THAT JOCK TO THE OBLIVION AND THEN TURN HIS HOUSE INTO A CHARITY SOUP KITCHEN FOR THE POOR AND THE UNPRODUCTIVE!… I'M GONNA! I'M GONNA- !" Paz was foaming like a rabid dog as she made gestures of her hands imagining herself strangling Leo, By this point even Grenda and Candy were getting scared by her raging spewing threats left and right and held each other's hands.
"Yep, definitely not going green by envy and going full rant with classism to cope." Wen sarcastically commented.
"At least it is not as awkward when Robbie mistakenly kissed a guy during a party." Nate amusingly recalled which made Valentino bristled.
"IT WAS DARK AND HE WAS A VERY HANDSOME GUY!" Robbie cried out which only caused them to belly laugh as Mabel, after this she finally reached her brother.
"Bro! Bro! Where are you going?" Mabel called her brother out.
"To mallow in embarrassment alone!"
"How did you do it!? How did you manage to outdo me in getting his attention?"
" 'outdo you'? There is NO outdoing!"
"-At least the guy actually looks good, so maybe you can date him by thinking of him as a girl." Robbie gave his own opinion which wasn't appreciated.
"SHUT UP ROBBIE!" Wendy, Dipper and Pacifica with the blonde in particular glaring murderously, so he shut up.
"That's the most offensive stereotypical thing I ever heard you say! You're lucky I'm your girlfriend or I would have you canceled!" Tambry declared in indignation.
"Dude…not cool." Thompson shook his head as Lee and Nate.
"Yeah, yeah I'm shutting up." Valentino was disgruntled.
"WHO. THE. HELL, he thinks he is confessing his infatuation with me in front of everyone to hear!? I don't even like boys." Dipper acidic notes could be tasted with strumming walks.
"Look Dipster, I get you are ang-" the girl Pines tried to reply.
"Angry? No, I'm outraged! Courage on a whole new plane of OUTRAGEOUSLY! What's next? Gonna use me as a mouth compressor!?"
Gideon blurted in a cackle before deciding he valued his life upon seeing the glares he was receiving and decided to shut up.
"Sorry guys, talk to you later." Mabel decided this was not an appropriate time and called the group chat off.
"You kissed Mermando." The girl Pines reminded him.
"For the LAST TIME that was CPR, not a kiss! I don't even like boys!" He snarled.
"Not what Grunkle Stan would think when-" she was gonna finish her tease and then before she could finish, the Pines boy held his hand at her mouth and pushed her to the nearest wall with a nervous chuckle.
"Hehe, tell others about that and I will tell our parents that you went high on Smile Dip!" The unhinged dark look and a nervous chuckle from him were enough to make Mabel gulp and nod in agreement. Afterwards, Dipper started walking away.
"Where are you going?"
"To home."
"But…the class is not over yet."
"I DON'T CARE!" He really lost his patience for Bull. He went outside of the high school.
In the Pines residents…
"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order." Mrs. Pines told her son who looked in dismay.
"Not you two too!" Dipper hung his hand up in frustration.
Mr. Pines coughed and began to speak "Just so you know son, there is no shame in it, we accept you as you are-"
"ARGH! GIVE ME A BIG FAT. BREAK!" He shouted as he walked toward his room with a loud slam of his door.
Slam!
He gave a muffled scream inside his own pillow thinking what he should do, so he decided to ask his Grunkles for their wisdom through a video chat.
Stanley put a hand on his chin. "Hmmm ... .let me think…how do you reject someone without hurting their feelings…sorry kid, I'm too good at breaking hearts." He shrugged which deflated Dipper's face.
"What about you poindexter?" Ley asked Ford.
"Well, puberty is the time of self discovering so tastes bounds to-"
"ET TU GREAT UNCLE FORD!?" Their great nephew nearly shouted.
"All I'm saying is, there is no such thing as orientation but a spectrum of-"
"That's it! I'm cutting you both!" Dipper once again lost his patience and shut the webcam before the great uncles could protest.
He dragged both hands on his face
'Just collect yourself, all this can be over soon by keeping yourself calm…'
Minutes later…
"HELP ME WENDY! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!" Dipper was practically on his knee in front of the monitor of his computer in which Wendy was seen through online means who caught off guard by Dipper's desperation.
"Woah woah! Calm down, dude!"
"I'M CALM! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I NEVER HAD SOMEONE HAVING A CRUSH ON ME AND THE CONFESS IN PUBLIC LIKE SOME SAPPY ROMANCE MOVIE!"- The Corduroy nearly told him about the Northwest's not-so-subtle crush on him, but decided that it only would add to his crisis -"I DON'T LIKE SWING THAT WAY, I'M STRAIGHT AS NARROW AND MY INTERNET SEARCH HISTORY PROVES THAT!"
Wendy cringed at that "Okay, that's a bit too much information- " Dipper didn't care.
"ON THE OTHER HAND, HOW SHOULD I BREAK THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A JERK!? 'Oh hi Leo! I don't feel the same way goodbye!'- "
Dipper was having a meltdown by this point ravining and ravening as his speech got more and more ridiculous like a paranoiac lunatic.
"CHILL!"- her shout stopped his rambling, then she sighed-"Take a deep breath."- he did as she said-"you good?"
"I think so." He stated this time calmly.
"Alright, so you have to be honest but at the same do it gently, If he decides to be a dumb numb about it that's his fault, not yours."
"That's it?"
"Yeah, when I turned you down I didn't exactly write plans and contingencies on how to do so for every situation." she was amused at the long paper Dipper held detailing overthinking plans on how to assert the situation each more ridiculous than the other with each paragraph from making a clone to a robot duplicate or leaving the country who in reaction hid it behind his back and blushed a bit which only added to her amusement.
"Yeah…I went a bit crazy, thanks."
"No problem dude."
Tomorrow at high school…
"Hey, Dipper," Leo called Dipper out from the hallway.
'Here he comes! Here he comes!' He internalized and readied himself as he confronted him "I ugh…"- he sighs -"Look Leo, I appreciate your honesty but I uh…I don't like boys." He scratched his cheek nervously.
"It's okay, though I hope you are open to us being friends."
"We can?" The Pines boy gave an eyebrow.
"Well, to be frank, I didn't expect you to actually reciprocate, but that still doesn't mean I'm opposed to befriending you. And I guess…I'm sorry for putting you in that position in front of everyone, It was uncool and stupid of me, it was the heat of the moment." He apologized, and genuinely felt bad about it.
The Pines sighted in relief, finally, the ordeal was over and didn't end in curses or some stupid teen drama. "It's fine." He accepted his apology, on the plus side he also potentially gained another cool friend.
In Gravity Falls High School…
Wendy was walking inside the high school's hallway when she was accompanied by one of her classmates named Penelope, a girl of the same age of Greek and England descent just a month younger, with black hair and tanned skin who had an interest in ocean life talking to her which she pretended to listen.
"Did you know that starfish don't have a brain? In fact, they-"
The Corduroy girl's true focus was on a black boy with glasses who was a bit muscular.
'That one looks cute enough…' she thought, thus she walked toward him while he was walking with hands full of notes and books.
"Excuse me." He apologized when he nearly hit her on his way and changed direction.
"Hey dude, would you like to have a date with me at-"
"Sorry, I'm gay." He stated monotonously without even giving a glance and moved away, leaving her flabbergasted before she stumped her right foot on the ground.
"Aw, man! Well…guess now I know how Dipper felt…" Wendy muttered and that was when Penelope reached her.
"I'm sorry, What were you saying?"
"Hey uh , there is another thing I wanted to say.."- She blushed a bit and pushed her hair a bit away. -"Are you open tonight to date?"
Wendy froze, her mind failed to process what she heard and the fact that someone of the same gender just asked her out, it was surreal as that had never happened to her before.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying? I got lost." She asked to make sure her ears weren't hearing anything wrong.
"I like you, you dingus!" Penelope started this time in annoyance due to her lack of attention.
Wendy stared now at her classmate who looked at her with interest "...whot?" Now Wendy had Robbie's crisis on her orientation.
Notes:I was inspired by a fan art about Dipper and Mabel in which they were in high school. Mabel had a crush on a jock and Dipper teased her only for the said jock to profess his interest in him. Unfortunately, I can't remember who made it and don't have a source.