A Simple Repair Pick-Up
A Metroid/Bloody Roar Crossover Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
The desk phone rang, a slightly haggard Alice Nonomura (nee Tsukagami) quickly answering it. There had been seemingly been no end to the calls at her job at the hospital today... "Hello, Alice Nonomura speaking..."
"Ah, hello, Miss Nonomura, it's Jack from Charlie's Repair Shop," a male voice responded. "I'm sorry to break this to you, but there's been an issue with your car, and it's not going to be ready now until 3 PM..."
"What?!" Alice nearly screeched, being shushed by one of her fellow nurses. Sitting down, she said in a quieter voice, "Wait, I was told it was gonna be ready at twelve-thirty! I specifically cleared time off my schedule to pick it up!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but there's a part that we found needs to be replaced, and it's gonna take us a bit to get it from the warehouse across town," Jack explained with an apologetic tone. "So 3 PM's the earliest I can promise..."
Alice bit her lip as her mind raced. She was doing a double-shift today, meaning she wouldn't be off until at least ten o'clock, by which time the repair shop would be closed... "Ugh, I can't make it then..." Someone else would have to pick it up for her... Yugo was an automatic no, as he had been the one to bang it up in the first place (even though he swore it was something he couldn't have seen coming); Shina was busy with military and WOC duties... "Ugh, fine, I'll send in Samus to get it then."
"S-S-Samus...?"
"Yeah, Samus Aran, she's my cousin's adoptive mother... my aunt, I guess you could say. Tall, pretty, blonde hair in a ponytail, blue eyes, fair skin. You can't miss her. I'll call her as soon as I can. And my car better be ready at three!" She then heard her name over the intercom. "I gotta go, bye!"
"B-but-" the call was cut off as Alice hung up.
*Later that day...*
"I really appreciate you doing this for me," Alice said to Samus Aran, who was currently walking down the street with her cell phone to her ear.
"Don't worry about it," Samus replied. "You help me with keeping little Uriko in line, so consider this payback..."
"Is she doing alright at school?"
"Let's just say, she's not failing, and leave it at that," the hunter sighed. "Anyway, I'm on my way to the repair shop now, I'll let you know how much you owe when I get the bill."
"Right... probably going to be more than I expected since they had to replace a part..."
"Well, I'll see if I can negotiate a discount, all right?"
"You don't have to, but thanks," Alice demurred. "I gotta go, talk to you later!"
"Okay, bye," Samus said before hanging up. (Poor Alice... having to work a double-shift because she's short on money, and now this... maybe I'll invite her to dinner with Uriko, Shina and myself...) She began musing over what ingredients she would have to pick up from the grocery store...
Fortunately, her instincts as a bounty hunter were on-point even in such a peaceful city as this... a strange gleam and faint 'click' were her only warning.
Samus ducked and rolled to the right as a report rang out, dashing to a nearby parked car for cover. (Someone just shot at me! But who?) She clenched her right fist, her trusty arm cannon materializing over the limb. Tentatively she dared to lift her head to try and peek through the car windows for her assailant...
(A rocket launcher!) She immediately jumped and rolled away as the car blew up in a spectacular fireball! Whoever these assassins were, they clearly meant business... (All right, no more Miss Nice Hunter!) Concentrating, she summoned the rest of her Power Suit over her body, in the familiar orange Varia configuration. Standing to her feet, she perceived four hostiles- human males equipped with protective vests and lower leg armor. The one with the rocket launcher was attempting to reload, while two more charged her position...
(Stupid,) Samus thought as she Flash Shifted forward, slamming her arm cannon into the right merc's face, sending him to the asphalt. She then turned and kneed the left merc in the groin, then slammed her elbow into his face for good measure, the man collapsing bonelessly to the ground Samus then turned back kicked the right mercenary in the face to ensure he stayed down.
"Dammit, she's already in her armor suit!" she heard one of the remaining men yell.
"Hold her off for a second!" ordered the one with the rocket launcher, his companion cocking his assault rifle and spraying automatic fire in Samus' direction! But the hunter curled into the Morph Ball to make herself a smaller target, rolling up and setting a few bombs before unmorphing and hitting her foe with a flip-kick! The bombs then went off, the merc crying out in pain as he went down, clutching his legs...
"Die, Samus Aran!" cried the last mercenary as he fired his rocket launcher... but for naught as Samus simply Flash Shifted to the side, the rocket exploding on the street beyond. Samus then fired a missile of her own, blowing up the launcher and sending its operator to the ground, his face contorted in pain as he clutched his mangled arm and shoulder.
After confirming the last merc was no longer a threat, Samus walked back over to the man whose legs she had bombed, grabbing him by the vest with her left hand and hauling him up to her level. "Who sent you?! Who hired you to try and kill me? You're too stupid to want to try and kill me yourself..."
"I... I'm not talking!" the man cried defiantly... only for his eyes to go wide as the hunter pointed her arm cannon in his face, the end opening up as a green-tipped missile emerged.
"This is a Super Missile," Samus explained, "three times more powerful than a regular rocket. This will likely blow you into pieces so small, that the medical examiner will never be able to identify you to inform your next of kin..."
"Okay! Okay! I'll talk!" the man's bravado vanished. "Please don't shoot!"
In response, Samus briefly pointed her cannon upward, firing the Super Missile into the sky where it exploded harmlessly. "That's what I thought. Now spill."
*That night, at the Aran/Nonomura residence...*
"Will you two stop laughing?!" Samus griped at Alice and Shina. "It's not funny!"
"Yes it is!" Alice gasped out. "Your reputation precedes you...!"
"You can say that again...!" Shina grunted before falling into laughter once more.
"Um, Mommy, why are they laughing?" asked eleven-year-old Uriko Nonomura.
"Well, Uriko, it's like this," Samus sighed. "There was a problem with your cousin's car, and she wouldn't be able to pick it up before the shop closed due to working a double shift at the hospital. So she told the repairman that she'd be sending me to go pick it up..."
"But it turns out, the guys at that repair shop service some military guys, who told them all about your mother, and how she blows up anything that looks at her the wrong way!" Shina gasped between laughs.
"But Mommy doesn't do that! She only blows up the bad guys!" Uriko protested.
"Well, they didn't know that," Samus shook her head. "So they ended up hiring a mercenary team to try and take me out before I came and blasted them with Super Missiles and leveled their shop with Power Bombs, leaving no trace of their existence behind..." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm by this point.
"But... (ahem) but only four of them?" Alice grunted as she finally managed to calm down somewhat. "And they only had one rocket launcher, an assault rifle, a sniper rifle and a couple of handguns? That wouldn't even dent one of your energy tanks, right?"
"They're mechanics, not frontline combat soldiers. Jack knew a guy who knew a guy, something like that. They looked like hardcases to the guys who hired them."
"So did you blow them up, Mommy?" Uriko asked.
"Only the guy with the rocket launcher, and he lived," Samus clarified. "I bombed one guy and beat down the other two hand-to-hand, then turned them over to the authorities for assault and attempted murder. Their leader was eager to confess, so I don't think I'll have to testify in court or anything. Then I went to the repair shop- out of my suit- and cleared up the misunderstanding, picked up Alice's car, got stuff for dinner and came home."
"So how much do I owe you?" Alice asked.
Samus gave her adopted niece a long look. "...Zero. Jack and Charlie waived the repair fees and wouldn't take no for an answer."
And thus, Shina burst out into laughter all over again...
~*Fin*~
A/N: This was inspired by a Lyrical Nanoha fic called 'Driven By Rumor', authored by DezoPenguin. Go check out her stories, they're very well written with plenty of levity and heartwarming moments!