Sir Boniface sat in the study. The house was as quiet and a tome. The servant slunk about like mice, retreating when he came near. In that quiet, he heard Rebecca come home. She didn't come into the study to tell him she was back. A good sign of a bad thing. Sir Boniface had been expecting this.
His heart condition had calmed enough to allow him some activity. He had not returned to work yet but planned to, soon. That is… as soon as he could take care of his children. Erasmus was lost to him. Phileas might as well be, but perhaps… Perhaps he could move the man back into the land of the living with a little help. That, and keep Rebecca from the pain of a decision he knew was coming.
He called out before she went upstairs. "Rebecca?"
The call was answered by the tapping of a lady's shoes in the hall. She was obedient, even when distracted. That was to his advantage.
Rebecca entered the study. Her downcast look told him this was the kindest thing, but she needed to accept that and make the decision herself.
"Rebecca? Your time with Richard went well?"
He swept his hand over the sofa seat beside him. It was a pleasant spot. They had many conversations here, a place designed for confidences. She sat down and did a Rebecca equivalent of crumbling. She sighed, accepted his outstretched hand, and bared her soul.
"We had a wonderful afternoon," she said. Her face, however, showed that nothing of the sort had happened. "We went to a play, had tea at a very nice restaurant. You know, the one with the garden courtyard just past the theater district? We talked a bit about the future. It was all very nice. He asked me to visit his brother in the country. Lady Nancy will be my chaperone. It will all be perfectly circumspect."
"Of course, it will be. I have always appreciated the way he has conducted his courtship with you," Sir Boniface said. "Some would treat a lady of your age with less consideration. Richard isn't like that."
"Yes," Rebecca said. "He is, and he is so kind… caring. He loves me. I know he does. I love him too, but…"
"Sir Boniface, you never asked about the time we spent together before I was removed."
He smiled. "You noticed that."
Embarrassment rather than amusement showed in the smile she returned.
"You are a grown woman, Rebecca. As much as I would like to, I can't treat you like a miss out on her debut anymore. We ended that point in your life with your training to become an agent. You are an independent adult… or at least as independent as you can be in our society. I have few restrictions on your comings and goings compared to other women of your age and social position. That is a unique freedom, my dear."
"Yes, I know."
"I've wondered how that is going to change with marriage," Rebecca blurted out, getting it said before she could back away. "I've tried to talk to Richard about that, but he isn't… He doesn't seem to understand."
"No, I don't suppose he would," Sir Boniface said. "Ladies of the nobility don't have near the freedom you do. He does not know what you will give up in accepting his proposal. You might try explaining it to him. He has no point of reference. I'm sure he isn't planning to lock you up in a tower, my dear. Richard seems to me a man that likes a woman with spirit. Lady Olivia was such a woman. He encouraged and nurtured it."
"And gave her twelve children," Rebecca added.
Sir Boniface chuckled. "Lady Olivia, as I recall, was one of those women who thrive on bringing up children. My wife… My wife wanted a house full, too. She didn't have the strength to recover from the ordeal. Don't let that worry you, though. Your mother was much stronger and handled childbearing with few complaints. Is the idea of having children worrying you?"
"No, I'm not worried about that." Rebecca didn't look up at him. Would that were it. If nerves over childbearing were the only problem, I wouldn't be so downcast. It's more the feeling that I'm going to give up every shred of freedom and my hard-won career. Am I going to be miserable with a man who is wonderful to me?
"I warned you how unlikely staying in the service after marriage was," Sir Boniface said. "Richard is a politician. He is tasked with a great deal of international diplomacy. He could not have a wife who is an agent. You know that. You must have understood that."
"Yes, I had thought of it. I had hoped I could get that desk you offered me."
But now… Why have I only considered this from my own selfish point of view? Of course, I couldn't continue any duties with the service while married to a man with such responsibilities. It would undermine the trust Richard needs. Lord! Why am I only now considering how this marriage will affect Richard?
"Do you love him?" Sir Boniface said.
The question set off defenses. "I do. I have said so, just now."
Rebecca believed it. But something in her words rang untrue. Love was an emotion talked of between lovers, not husbands and wives. The most she had ever heard a married couple admit to was fondness, or a tender.
"Yes," Sir Boniface accepted, but felt her discomfort. "You aren't a girl for me to tell you whom to marry. I gave you the right to marry of your own choosing long ago. You have a right to love the man you marry, Rebecca. I would insist that you do. Now. answer the question again. Do you truly love him?"
"Did you… have love?" she said.
"Yes, so did your parents," he said. "Neither of our marriages were arranged. More steered than anything. Yes, I loved my wife, and your parents loved each other."
"I… I do love him. I truly do, but… How selfish can I be to not consider him and what he needs? I want to keep my place with the service. Yet, how could I think it possible if I marry a diplomat? I feel like such an idiot."
Rebecca couldn't say more. Tears spilled, drenching her face. Her body shook from emotion, forcing itself to the surface, and she felt so wretched.
Sir Boniface didn't expect what she said, or the tears. "My dear, infatuation is a wonderful thing. I won't say you haven't been in love, but marriage is a two-sided affair."
He didn't say anything more. He had done what he set out to do. He had forced her to face her feelings. The sooner she realized they were not what one anchored a life on and owned up to it, the better.
Had Rebecca said point blank she loved the man; he would have given her up. Not happily, but for her happiness, he would have done it. Instead, Sir Boniface handed her a handkerchief, and squeezed the hand he had been holding.
After she dried her face, he followed a different course of action with confidence. First, he redirected her thoughts away from her recriminations. "Rebecca, I have something to ask of you. You know Phileas isn't taking his brother's death well. In fact, I fear for him."
"I do, too. He is so broken."
"Quite," Sir Boniface said. "We exchanged harsh words. In time, I expect that reconciled, but for now, he needs someone to steady him. That can't be me."
"No, I see that," Rebecca said.
"I was hoping you might be an influence on him. I ask that you move in with him as his caretaker. Can't say how long you would remain. It could be several months. If you agree, could you pack a small bag this evening? I can have the rest of your things brought to you tomorrow. If done quickly, he won't be able to refuse. I'm truly worried about him. Falling to such despair is dangerous. He could be a danger to himself."
Rebecca paled. "Move in with Phileas to watch over him?"
"I mean exactly that. His behavior is too erratic. I'm told he has taken to excessive gambling and well, we are drinking men, we Foggs. He is doing that in excess, too. Having a lady in the house will slow that down. On his own, he thinks of nothing but his own misery."
Rebecca felt honored to be given such trust. Phileas was Sir Boniface's only son now. He was making her his son's guardian.
"Of course, I will go at once."
"Good, good," Sir Boniface squeezed her hand again. "We will have supper together before you leave. I am sorry to lose your company, but I am much better now. Phileas needs you far more than I. I am trusting you to handle him with the same gentle tyranny you have been treating me to."
That broke the tension. Rebecca smiled and laughed. "You can count on it."
"I will have to cancel the weekend with Richard." That marred her lighter spirits. Perhaps canceling that is best. At least until I give this more thought. She kissed his cheek and stood to go pack before changing for dinner.
"I will send a note to Richard, begging his indulgence," She said.
Sir Boniface nodded. "Yes, you do that, my dear."
She left the study.
Sir Boniface watched her as she went, seeing confidence in her step. He smiled, feeling not a shred of remorse for the breakup he saw coming between Rebecca and Richard Sutton. This is my Rebecca. This was how she should always be.