Chapter 1: Role Call
Within the Seireitei, the afterlife's governing body woke up to another beautiful day.
Now, the Gotei 13's Captain-Commander wasn't the type of man to foolishly declare 'nothing could go wrong,' but he was in such a great mood that he was tempted. A good night's sleep, only a few sheets of paperwork to sign off on, and his favorite breakfast. Dango and tea for the curious.
He was on the taller side of average height, with short, spiky black hair, and dark eyes. The right side of his face was covered in scars, while a dark blue cloth wrapped around his head to cover his left eye.
"Lieutenant, are you sure I can't pry the secret of that blend away from you?" the captain-commander asked from his desk.
The 1st Division Lieutenant shook his head, sending his glasses down his nose. "I'm afraid not, Sir. It's staying in my head for eternity."
His subordinate was of equal height, but with a messy mop of brown hair draped around his glasses.
"Sosuke," the one-eyed captain-commander gave a good-natured huff. "Please tone down the formality off the clock. Can only take so many 'Sirs' in a day."
"Of course, Captain" Sosuke Aizen bowed, a twinkle in his eye. "However, the workday has officially begun, so I've no choice but to use proper terminology, Sir."
Obito sighed, before a lightbulb turned on above him. "You know, I think it's time for an 'Inspection' at the Academy."
A look of horror grew on Aizen's face, the light leaving his eyes. "Please no."
Obito opened the top drawer, eye widening at the lack of contents.
"I took the liberty of disposing of it…there were termites, Sir," Aizen claimed.
"Termites…in Soul Society…" Obito was clearly unimpressed.
"Oh yes," Aizen didn't miss a beat. "Hollow Termites. Had no choice but to throw out everything they touched. Such a shame."
Obito slumped.
"Not that it matters…"
A flash of orange slipped out the captain-commander's sleeve, his mood rebounding. "I'm always prepared!"
Before Aizen could say another word, Obito was gone.
"...oh dear."
OoOoOoO
At the Academy, students were settling down for their first class.
"Students, all rise for our guest lecturer!" their instructor surprised them from behind.
At attention, the soon-to-be-Soul Reapers watched a legend walk in.
The 2nd Division Captain eyed the students. He was instantly recognizable from his make-up and accessories. A firm, green, cloth neckpiece rose up on the sides of his face, evocative of a closing plant. His naturally tanned face was split down the middle by thick face paint. The right was a ghostly pale, while the left was pitch black.
"Good morning, students. You may be seated," Captain Zetsu gestured to his audience. "Today, I shall walk you through the most delicate and precise of tasks."
The captain had the students on the edge of their seats.
"And that," Zetsu put his hands behind his back.
"...is the care and preservation of bonsai."
As underlined by the potted miniature tree now on display.
You could almost feel the students deflating.
"Did someone say…BANZAI?!"
Only for the mood to brighten.
"NononononoNO!" Zetsu scrambled as his precious bonsai vanished.
"HIYA KIDDOS!"
That orange swirly-masked MENACE was back!
"Y'all talking about plants, folks?" 'Tobi' balanced on the teacher's desk, one foot in the air with the bonsai on his head. "How boring!"
"Tobi," Zetsu raised his hands and moved slowly, like one would a hostage situation, which was exactly what this was. "Please come down."
"Hmm," 'Tobi' brought a hand to his chin, as if in contemplation. Then, Zetsu vanished.
"UH-OH!" 'Tobi' turned to make his escape, but alas. He had to make this look good.
"WHOA!" Tobi's foot slipped on a puddle, which had most certainly not been there before.
Before the students could blink, Zetsu had kicked Tobi flying through the window, the bonsai safely on the desk.
"Holy…" one student paused, before looking back at Zetsu. "That was amazing!"
"Uh…" Zetsu quickly went back to a dignified stance. "Yes! And study hard and you can be this fast too one day!"
"Yes, Sir!"
Outside, Obito was hanging off the side of another building, mask in his right hand, his left clinging to the ledge as if for dear life. Nevermind he could run on air if he wanted to.
"Nailed it."
"I think Captain Zetsu will actually kill you one day if you keep this up," a voice called out from the roof.
She was a noticeably short and petite woman, short-haired except for two long braids down her back. Like the man she addressed, an eye of hers was covered, though the right in this case. Her expression could only be described as unamused…thoroughly unamused.
"Well, Lieutenant Soi-Fon, he's had 500 years to do it. It ain't happenin' now," Obito shrugged.
"Sir, every day, I lament that your orange-masked menace is your use of spare time," Soi-Fon went on in a tone that clearly indicated they'd had this conversation thousands of times.
"And every day, I promise I'll stop if you can break it," Obito waved with the mask.
"No…when I do it, it'll be in your sleep, Sir," Soi-Fon narrowed her eye.
"Been there, done that," the captain-commander rolled his eye.
Soi-Fon was about to say something, but she stopped.
Obito didn't have to turn around to know what it was, recognizing the sense.
"What's so important a Hell Butterfly was used?"
OoOoOoO
Outside the Central Library, two of Soul Society's most respected figures were emerging from a morning of study and research.
"So, was today actual studying…or 'research'?" the woman asked, an eyebrow raised. She had blue hair styled in a bob cut. Piercing orange eyes, and a shiny stud under her lip made her stand out, drawing the eyes of many even without her captain's uniform.
Her friend blushed. He was slightly taller and thin. Vibrant red hair reached down to his shoulders, obscuring his right eye. His left was a bright royal purple, concentric rings around his pupil.
5th Division Captain Nagato huffed. "I'll have you know that 'The History of European Afterlife Deities,' is a page-turner. Makes me wonder what those Humans will come up with next. And besides," the man rubbed the back of his head, "more 'research' won't help in this stage of writing my book."
3rd Division Captain Konan chuckled. "I'm only teasing," she reassured him, while patting his shoulder.
"Speaking of teasing…" Nagato's head turned, clearly sensing something.
"HEY!" a very loud, orange-haired man was approaching. His ears were covered in piercings. Quite the contrast to his naturally cheery hazel eyes, wide grin, and unblemished face.
"Captain!" a bedraggled woman turned out of a corner in pursuit. She was shorter than the captains, black hair done up in a prim and proper bun, glasses bouncing on her nose.
8th Division Captain Yahiko seemed to have the wind taken out of his sails. "Aww! Nanao, I already finished!"
8th Division Lieutenant Nanao Ise had caught up. "You neglected Form 376-T.K., approving the supply-order for our training facility."
"Whoa," Yahiko seemed to conjure a pen from nowhere. "How'd I miss that one?!" Without missing a beat, he'd grabbed and turned Nagato, using his back to sign the form.
"Because you're an overgrown child who always wants 'playtime' with his friends?" Konan piped in.
Nanao raised her hands in a 'Thank you!' gesture.
"Konan! How could you be so mean with those lies?!"
"My back says otherwise," Nagato protested.
"Oh, Nanao! You found him." Two more figures flashed into existence. The first was an average sized man, with droopy shoulder-length blonde hair covering one eye. The other man was massive, easily twice the size of anyone else around him. Oddly enough, he had the head of a brown wolf, with matching fur where his Lieutenant's garb didn't cover.
3rd Division Lieutenant Izuru Kira bent down to catch his breath, his hair brimming with sweat. "That kido training ground approved?"
"Yes," Nanao pushed her glasses back up. "That should make Officer Hinamori happy."
"Oh right," 5th Division Lieutenant Sajin Komamura recalled. "She transferred to the 8th. How's she adjusting?"
"Oh," Yahiko interjected. "She's doing wonderfully. If Nanao wasn't so good, she'd be Lieutenant right now."
"If she's let in that new training ground," Nanao muttered, "she will be. That girl's a kido prodigy."
"That reminds me, how's your kido training, Lieutenant Komamura?" Konan asked.
"Oh, my Raikoho is finally up to snuff, Captain," the wolf-man bowed his head.
"Are we talking my Division's standards, or your old one's?" Nagato asked, a sly smirk directed at his subordinate.
"...yes."
Konan raised an eyebrow. "Sajin, your Raikoho could already match Seated Officers the day you left the Academy. You're already better at it than most lieutenants."
Komamura shrugged. "Always room for improvement".
Yahiko had to stop himself from giggling. "You know, I always thought you'd stick with the 7th, even if your old captain scares the shit out of half of Soul Society."
"That's three-quarters of Soul Society, thank you very much," Komamura replied without missing a beat. "But he did insist that I needed to find my own path beyond just him and the 7th."
"Huh…vicious one minute, wise the next," Yahiko sighed. "I can never get a read on that guy."
All discussion abruptly ceased, as the Hell Butterfly came into view.
OoOoOoO
In a waiting room, an incredibly large man sat in his finest kimono. He'd needed three chairs just to get comfortable.
The door opened, prompting the man to immediately stand at attention.
"Oh, Jibando, I didn't know it was your day off from gateduty," a man with short black hair wearing sunglasses stepped into the lobby.
7th Division Lieutenant Tetsuzaemon Iba smiled and gave the customary bow. "Here to see the boss?"
"Yes please," Jibando stepped in as Iba gestured for entry.
Now, despite knowing the room's occupant, the gatesman could never suppress that chill down his spine in the man's presence.
The tallest of the captains looked up. His blue skin glistened as he shifted. Razor-sharp triangular teeth revealed themselves in a grin.
"Ah, Jibando, Honored Guardian," the fishman bowed. "It's been awhile."
Hat in hand, the gatekeeper bowed. "Captain Hoshigaki, I'm honored that you've invited me here on this…the day of your daughter's wedding. May their first child be a masculine child."
7th Division Captain Kisame Hoshigaki blinked, then chuckled when he understood.
"Been enjoying those Human movies, I see."
"Oh, HMMM!" Jibando cleared his throat, so nervous that he'd just said the first thing to come to mind when seeing the room. "I'd like to thank you for accepting my little bro into your Division and whipping him into shape. Our family can see the improvement."
"It's no trouble," Kisame brushed off. "The 7th's always looking for fresh meat…I mean, recruits."
"Hehehehe," Jibando's nervousness seemed to vanish, before coming back in full force. "Sir, he said to talk to you about an…issue I've been having."
"Oh?"
"It's our father, he's a retired Soul Reaper."
"Ah, Mr. Ikkanzaka," Kisame grinned. "I remember. Always arm-wrestling little Sajin. Is he in trouble?"
"Well…sorta," Jibando sighed. "His landlord upped the rent on his apartment. It's out in District 21. Nice place. Lots of construction."
"I see," Kisame gestured to Lieutenant Iba, who began scribbling notes.
"He…he can't afford it. Not with just his pension," Jibando looked up. "He told me not to worry about him, or give him money, or beat up the guy," the gatekeeper looked particularly peeved at the last point.
"You want your father to be able to stay, while still letting him keep his pride," Kisame summed up.
"Yes, you understand!" Jibando stood up, bowing again.
Kisame got up as well. "I'll convince this landlord to bring the rent back to the original price. It'll be discreet."
"Thank you," Jibando turned. "But how?"
The shark-man winked. "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse."
The gatekeeper lit up. "I get it!" he proclaimed before walking out.
"I swear, Kisame. You never should've brought Human entertainments to Soul Society," a new, deep voice echoed from the waiting room.
Entering the office, the speaker was a man of average height, long silky black hair done up in a ponytail. Dark eyes seemed to glimmer in his long, careworn face.
"You're just mad little Sasuke was convinced he could grow up to be a wizard."
6th Division Captain Itachi Uchiha sighed. "Thank the Soul King he grew out of that."
"Speaking of family, any word from your little sister?" Kisame's grin faded, showing genuine concern.
"Not yet," Itachi stood up. "I keep trying to say that we shouldn't be worried yet, but it's no help to the others."
"Yikes." Getting up, Kisame went over and patted Itachi's shoulder. "Still, she's a smart kid, I'm sure she can handle things."
"CAPTAIN!" a holler coming from outside the 7th Division HQ stopped whatever Itachi would have replied with.
A man with wild red hair tied up, and a tattooed forehead barged in. 6th Division Lieutenant Renji Abarai looked extremely worried.
"Whoa, whoa, where's the fire?" Kisame asked.
"Sirs, we're being summoned." Behind Renji, the Hell Butterfly fluttered in.
OoOoOoO
As the Hell Butterflies fulfilled their task, the Captains began converging, mostly.
"Captain, we really must be going," a blindfolded, dark-skinned man with purple hair tied back spoke up.
If the Captain-Commander disciplined the captain for tardiness, the rest of the Division would suffer his temper for days afterwards.
"Not until I'm finished!" a taller man with a dark tan growled. In his hands, he was currently leafing through a stack of cash, counting it. The man was almost completely covered in a cap and mask, only his narrowed green eyes exposed.
"But if this matter requires all the captains' attention…"
"Enough!"
9th Division Captain Kakuzu slammed one fist into his desk, making a severe dent. Taking a deep breath, he locked the cash up, and arose. "And that was 275,000 from the District 35 investment. Let's go."
9th Division Lieutenant Kaname Tosen sighed, already prepared for a bad day.
Without another word, the duo made their way down the road.
"Hey, you greedy miser!"
'…of course', the blind man let his head drop down even as he followed. 'At least the Captain-Commander beat the swearing out of him.'
A man slightly shorter than Kakuzu sauntered up. His silver hair was slicked back, purple eyes and smirk promising mischief.
"Shut up, Hidan!"
11th Division Captain Hidan ignored the aggravated tone. "You have any idea what's going on? Can't believe that they called in the middle of a ritual."
"No one cares about your ridiculous religion. If anything, doesn't us being Death Gods disprove your precious Jashin?" Kakuzu taunted.
"You take that back, you son of a bitch!" Hidan swung his blade, only for it to be stopped by Kakuzu's seemingly bare forearm. Normally, the man could've brushed off the old insult, but the sheer contempt and dismissal in Kakuzu's tone was just enough to agitate Hidan.
'And there's the cursing,' Tosen thought to himself resignedly.
"Hehehehe…how much you wanna bet we're the last ones to get to HQ?" a voice called out besides the blind man.
Tosen scoffed, and turned away.
"Aww…still think you're too good to even talk with me?" the speaker was a tall, well-muscled man, with his lieutenant's coat open, and a mask of bandages covering his mouth. From the Zanpakuto strapped to the man's back, Tousen could just smell the pungent combination of mildew and the iron of blood.
11th Division Lieutenant Zabuza Momochi narrowed his eyes.
"One day, you're going to be thrown off that high horse. And I will laugh."
OoOoOoO
Outside General HQ, two more higher-ups made landfall.
"Come on Kaien! Let's get this over with." The speaker was a blonde man, hair styled up in a half-ponytail, with vibrant blue eyes.
13th Division Captain Deidara was already grumpy at being earth-bound again. He'd been having such a good time in the air.
"Yes, sir," a long-suffering sigh escaped his subordinate. The man was tall, handsome, with a dark purple hue to his spiky hair.
13th Division Lieutenant Kaien Shiba was on edge, already feeling his day growing longer under his tiring captain.
"For once, I agree with you, Deidara," an airy voice echoed from behind. "After all, I do hate to be kept waiting."
A short red-haired man with perpetually unfocused-looking brown eyes ambled up to them. Besides him was the tallest woman in Soul Society. She had short gray hair, except for a handful of braids extending to her ample chest that her conservative lieutenant's garb did nothing to conceal. A gorgeous face was capped off with normally kind brown eyes, but not today.
4th Division Captain Sasori strode on ahead, Deidara stumbling to catch up to him.
4th Division Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu followed, just as stressed as her fellow lieutenant.
"Fufufufufu," a spine-chilling rasp of a voice called out from beyond the entrance. "If it isn't my favorite nurse, so glad that something could pry you from your…hobby."
The speaker was an inhumanly pale man. He was tall, with long black hair reaching to the small of his back. His eyes were golden with slitted pupils. Prominent canines flashed behind an eerie grin.
Sasori glared at this serpent made into a man.
"You're one to talk," Deidara piped up, "barely coming out of R&D."
12th Division Captain Orochimaru chuckled. "Ah, young Deidara. I hear that the young Uchiha was placed in your command, how's she progressing?"
"What's it to you?!" Kaien spoke up as a knee jerk reaction, not even realizing what he said until afterward.
"Ah…seems I've touched a nerve," Orochimaru raised his hands. "Perhaps that's a question to pose again later."
The scientist strolled off, giggling to himself. Deidara gave his lieutenant a decidedly unimpressed look before following with Sasori.
"Kaien," Isane placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please be more careful."
A ways off, a man covered in black and white makeup observed the arrivals with total disinterest, bringing up his extended middle finger's nail to examine in sheer boredom.
12th Division Lieutenant Mayuri Kurotsuchi was just waiting for this hullabaloo to pass. He had subjects to examine!
OoOoOoO
When it comes to the Soul Society hierarchy, the 10th Division was unique. Officially, there was no captain.
Over two decades ago, Captain Isshin Shiba had up and vanished after leaving for the Human World. Despite time's passage, no successor was ever put in his place. When asked, Captain-Commander Obito would just sigh, bizarrely muttering about 'Noble Clans,' even though the Shiba clan had already been disgraced.
As such, Acting-Captain Rangiku Matsumoto had stepped up. Encouraged by a certain trio of other captains, she had admirably fulfilled her duty even if she currently lacked bankai. She was exceptionally gorgeous with full lips, long orange hair, and ample bust. Still, her normally easygoing nature was nowhere to be seen today.
"Ma'am, none of the lieutenants I spoke with know what the issue is," a short white-haired child reported. Despite his youth, his large turquoise eyes brimmed with intelligence and concern.
"Indeed," an annoyingly cheerful voice added in. "Though I see 9th and 11th finally making their way up, shall I ask them?" This man was taller, with a bob of white hair, closed eyes, and a perpetual grin.
Co-Third Seats Toshiro Hitsugaya and Gin Ichimaru waited on Rangiku's response.
"Please don't," she shook her head. "I can feel their bad moods from here."
"Ah well," Gin seemed disappointed at the lost opportunity to tease.
"No, go ahead," Toshiro rolled his eyes. "Then I won't have to deal with sharing my seat."
"Oh Shiro," Gin patted his head, "like I'd ever leave you."
Before Toshiro could bite Gin's hand off, every Soul Reaper in the District felt a shift in Spiritual Pressure.
"Well," Gin visibly fought to keep his composure, "guess that's your cue, Ma'am."
Rangiku slowly nodded, following the other captains.
OoOoOoO
Inside, all the captains stood at attention. The exception was Rangiku, who knelt in the presence of her superiors, in the 10th Division's assigned space.
The tension in the air felt like it could be cut.
Even the normally irreverent Deidara and Hidan didn't dare speak up.
Captain-Commander Obito was clearly irked. As in, the man who somehow managed to keep every other ridiculously strong Soul Reaper under control, was not happy.
The one-eyed man gazed at his assembled underlings.
"There's no sugarcoating this," Obito's gaze seemed to linger on Itachi, before staring straight ahead.
"The Central 46 has decreed that Rukia Uchiha is accused of treason, by the act of bestowing Soul Reaper power unto a Human. She's to be arrested, and then brought to trial in three days' time."
TO BE CONTINUED
A.N.
Alrighty, can't believe this idea was started almost two years ago! Initial credit for inspiration comes from a drawing by D_NOT_So_Good_Artist on Youtube, starring the Akatsuki as the Gotei 13 Captains. Granted, I've made some tweaks, but go check that out for some visual reference!
First, I know y'all are noticing a few BIG names absent from the Gotei. I promise that all will be explained!
To put it simply, I'm making the 'point of divergence' about 500 years before the start of Bleach…where it went from Yamamoto in charge…to Obito.
Also, age will be shifted for quite a few characters…which is why folks like Soi-Fon and Komamura are still Lieutenant…even if I'm making the Akatsuki OP enough to remain superior…for now! LOL!
When it comes to the 'Big Picture', 'Lore', and 'Stations of Canon', it's going to be a heavy blend between both Bleach and Naruto. Think of it as the Ninjas and their Techniques being reimagined in the Bleach context.
Next chapter will focus on how Karakura has been switched up from canon!
Beta'd by the wonderfully creative Black Victor Cachat!
Til Next Time…Have Fun! Stay Safe!