It was a peaceful feeling, to rest beside Janet, on her right. Although her back was turned to the other side, one of her legs was extended towards his end, foot grazing against his own leg as her breath eventually relaxed and her body began to repose. She was the best company. He listened to her faint respirations, felt at ease. Despite constantly facing insurmountable stress during these moments, now it felt pleasant to remain there. The raindrops created a gentle tune for the atmosphere. His eyes grew heavy, he let go of his consciousness in few minutes.
A chilling, shrill scream had the man awake and his blood ran cold.
He realized, upon waking up, the rain seemed to have intensified.
The young woman beside him jumped hastily on the bed and uncovered them both, eyes closed while sitting and sobbing in anguish, it made Frank more than desperate.
"J-Janet?! Janet, here, hold on!"
His hands held and pressed lightly on top of her shoulders. She shuddered, but allowed him to pull her in and lay her down over his own body...
"Oh- Frank..? Frank, please, don't let go!", Janet wailed, panicking, grasping then twisting her fingers at the laces in his corset. A loud thunder echoed. He was appalled.
Yet, he needed to inspire a bit of her courage. At least, with small words.
"I'm not letting go. You have me, all right? I'm here. You're okay."
Her face buried in his chest, he held on tighter to her as his words soothed her and felt her move more steadily as a short while passed, her mewls merely reduced to murmurs. She seemed to recover altogether nestled in both his arms, snuggling into him in relief.
Amazing, he said to himself, he'd done something right for her in a critical moment. The Transylvanian did not have the nerve to move and cover them with the blanket again, he did not want to risk removing her from her perfect spot, plus... there was something about her smaller body staying there that he loved. He urged her:
"What's wrong?"
"I'm... it happens. Well, not always, but I have cruel nightmares from time to time and I'm... responsive to them."
"You really are, and that's just... oh, goodness. Mind telling me what your nightmare was a minute ago?"
"I dreamed that I was surrounded by an empty place. Just empty darkness. It felt unsettling, and then I could sense something — someone — lurking around like they were hunting me."
"What kind of someone?"
"Just someone I couldn't quite figure, but... shadowy. Surreptitious. I was running away and could feel they were not too far behind. I think I know what they were meant to be."
"You... do? What would they be?"
"Oh, they're a fear of mine. Loneliness. That feeling of not being honestly understood, being distant from whoever surrounds you. It's not safe. It's frightening. I feel... it's the biggest thing I hope won't overtake me. Whatever else happens... it's harder to handle when you're alone."
He grunted in deep thought and swallowed hard.
"Janet, you are never alone."
She lifted her head from where it'd been weighing on him... regarded him with wonder. Two honeyed eyes surveying the man deeply, lit through the nearly abundant gloominess in their place. Her next observation was spontaneous.
"The raindrops are so relaxing. I've always loved hearing the sounds to feel better. Do you?"
Indeed, it sounded beautiful at that second. Not heavy. Just harmonious.
"Ah... you're right, truly. They have a positive effect on me too! When they're notdisturbingas fuck, that is. Dissonant, jarring, loud thunder when I'm alone. This one feels really great on the other hand. Just tranquil."
"Ha ha ha, there you go... losing your temper over a little remark! You're funny."
"God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn your comment into space for complaint! That was embarrassing. You were just being precious."
"You're fine! You're fine. I don't mind having you complain and vent all you need, you'll still sound like a total sweetheart to me. You have my word!"
"Stop that, ha ha, no! It's good to be understood then. And... good to listen to those noises with you just for a change. Better with you."
"I'm glad you're here", she confessed.Frank beamed at her briefly, then felt an invisible whirlwind make a dart for him and smite him hard, an ache seeped through his heart.
"I apologize", he responded, painfully, anxiously.
"What for?"
He could not pinpoint when precisely the sensation had started, but there were now crystalline tears twinkling inside his hues, enough to cloud his vision and threaten to drop. The rainy night outside was as calm as could be now.
"For everything. Everything I've done and everything I am."
"No. Don't you talk like that. You can apologize for your worst doings, I accept it. But don't regret being. You're the one who taught me... don't feel sorry for being who you are. I really like who you are. In the end, through everything, you're a good person at heart."
"But I'm just like what you described in your worst dreams."
"What?"
"Hello? I'm somber. Ominous, and overall intimidating. Looking back, must've been no surprise when I'd been chasing after you."
She giggled. He'd been scared to death of holding her so deliberately and longingly, thinking it may have put her through discomfort, and she... just giggled.
"No, no, fool. You're not the same as my nightmares. At all! See... your arms feel good holding me, you're close and sweet when you talk, you're a great listener and make me the best company. You're warm, all warm", she began, rubbing her face and nose against him, nuzzling his chest, "I'm safe. I feel happy when I'm around you. Got it? Then, you better quit worrying and stay for me. I'll hold you... stay, Frank. Hmm", she delighted herself, her hands slid up and ran through his extremely stunned face. She held his head in place, lept and kissed his temple, sustained the touch of her lips there for good seconds. At last, the young lady sighed merrily. She returned to her most comfortable position below to repose her head, Frank's taller figure serving as a pillow, her fingers tapping on his chest, his arms still wrapped all around her. He froze.
Good Lord, he needed help. Just his luck! It looked likehewas the one very close to panicking after all. He choked on his own breath, smiling and gaping foolishly, struck with fascination at this happy position they found themselves. At her hands, how she pronounced his name and caring remarks, her kiss — he'd remember the sensation of this one forever — her dainty frame clinging there... how much more risible could things get when his meaning of grandeur was the sight she now granted him? Close, all endearing in her simple acts of intimacy. He'd comforted her, and she granted him just the same in reciprocation.
You're warm, all warm,Janet had said, and... that was the truth. Not moving from their embrace, his inner thoughts nodded in agreement, she'd made it real.
Warm because of you.
He allowed two tears of comfort, one from each side, to trickle down his face. The kind of comfort that eased him enough to feel ready to rest once more, touched by total tranquilness in feeling Janet and himself intertwined, lulling him into a joyfully dreamy state of tiredness.
Before his eyelids closed, to welcome his best slumber, he pledged it alone: to this newly cultivated, unfamiliar sentiment, he surrendered the best he could. He embraced it just as he did her, then everything — the unlit room, her honey-colored locks of hair, his body where her hands and figure reposed, the sweet and satisfying raindrops he was loving her company to appreciate with — faded to pitch black.
I love you.