A/n: I noticed when watching the newest season that Soren had started to get have of the best ideas the group has, but the fact that I was noticing it as something unusual in itself said a lot. Idk, I just always felt like he was portrayed as not-the-smartest, but he might actually be the most genius out of all the characters. (P.s. Is this what a character study is?)

Soren was not stupid.

Oblivious, dense, at times maybe even slow, but not stupid. In fact, he was actually quite intelligent. It's just that sometimes, that intelligence isn't conventional, and sometimes others didn't really see things the way he did and just labelled him as something else.

He'd always been… different, ever since his childhood. He'd never really been able to figure out why, but only recently has he gotten to thinking about it.

See, it wasn't that his brain worked slower than other people's, or he used less of it than others but instead quite the opposite. It worked faster than most and maybe he did use less of his brain, but those parts were used to the fullest. His brain wasn't slow, or small; he just thought a little differently.

Claudia had always been the one to follow instructions by the letter. She'd always been the one to read books, and do research, and perfect everything - perfectionist as she was, is and probably always would be.

Soren on the other hand, had never really had the patience for books. Or well, not for the majority of ones he was given to read. He didn't do everything perfectly, but instead found other ways to do something, ways that were easier or more effective or simpler. It'd led to arguments between the siblings on more than one occasion, where Claudia would spend so much time perfecting something only for Soren to come and point out that she could have changed one little thing and it'd have worked better or if she'd taken out a few steps it'd have taken less time and still work as well. But she'd never really listened - not that he really minded at the time anyway, what did he care about building moving parts for a dollhouse?

Everyone in his early life had always shrugged off his ideas, just like Claudia had. He'd cared in the beginning - a child who was constantly shut down by adults even if he was only trying to help - but over time, he learned it was better to just not care in the first place.

The only one who he could ever remember had understood him had been his mother. Claudia had been the way she was for a reason, going after their father. But Soren? Soren had gone after his mother. She'd never shut down his ideas, always finding the time to listen and even sometimes indulge them - even if the only ideas that really mattered to little Soren were how to make better treats or design better play-weapons.

She'd known that his mind worked more creatively than society accepted to be normal and she embraced it fully, supporting him when no one else had. He'd be ever grateful for that, but it hadn't lasted long because when he was still young, she'd left him. She'd left his dad, Claudia and Soren left behind too.

His sister had been hurt by their mother's abandonment, as had his father but he hadn't been old enough to know the full extent just then. He'd been old enough to know that he had to protect Clauds though, and that's probably when he stopped 'being smart'. Without anyone to nurture him, listen or indulge him, support him or understand him in any way, he'd wilted. The great person he could have been died the day his mom left, a blooming flower no longer given sunlight - hope - or water - reassurances - or any love at all.

He didn't die completely though, he just changed. It wasn't a 'one day he woke up and everything was different' kind of change, but instead a slow one which seemed so fast, so obvious only when it was over and too late.

He went from an inquisitive, creative, bright young boy to one having to push that all down so he could fit in. Why did he need to fit in in the first place? So that he could help his sister grow. His potential might have been lost, but he'd rather that than let his sister's be sacrificed in return. The person who'd nurtured him may have gone, but that only meant he nurtured someone else instead.

That's how he stopped really thinking for himself. He tried so hard to be the brother his sister needed - one who didn't pick fights with her by 'messing' with her plans, one who helped her and protected her. One who helped her have a confidence boost by being the funny, not-so-smart sidekick. She needed it all more than he needed his ideas to be heard, to have his own confidence boosted by people listening and trying to understand him.

So he did what any good older sibling does and sacrificed everything.

He started working on his body more than his mind so he could fight and/or intimidate the bullies who dared go after his sister for her quirks. He strived to be a guard to earn the respect that would hopefully be enough to pass over to his sister too. He helped her with anything she needed so she would never feel like her endeavours were something she couldn't do. He supported her and gave her compliments and words of affirmation so she'd never think she wasn't appreciated. He did his dad's bidding, with or without Claudia so she'd be happy because she loved their dad maybe even more than he'd loved their mom.

Somehow along the way, he'd gotten a reputation of being immature, slow-witted, arrogant but he didn't mind. He just didn't listen the same way people didn't listen to him; ignoring them the way he was ignored. And if at some point the words got through to him, he told himself he didn't care as long as it made Claudia look mature, intelligent, and confident next to him. Even if it was his own father saying those things, he tried not to let it hurt too much because it made him favour his sister and what was better validation for her than that?

Yes, some days he cried about it, usually at night, but then he would remind himself that knights don't cry and proceed to work out until the pain in his body hid the pain in his heart.

As time went on though, his father's requests and jobs he sent the siblings to do became more concerning. Especially after King Harrow's death. By that point, Soren had gotten maybe too used to hiding his intelligence, but he started to realise maybe it was for the best.

People underestimating him had some benefits, like less responsibilities and expectations. He wasn't opposed to those things, but the way things were going, it might be a strategy to keep on how he was. His father already thought of him as worthless - even confirmed it verbally on more than one occasion, other times just with the way he looked at his son - yet Soren still stayed quiet out of fear. He was genuinely terrified of what his father might make him do if the man thought he had some worth, considering what he'd already been asked to do before.

So he no longer made people underestimate him out of protectiveness for his sister, but fear for himself too. It was just better for him to stay quiet for everyone. It was too late to make his father think of him as someone competent anyway, since doing that would mean carrying out whatever evil scheme his dad made him do and he refused to fall that far just for validation.

Eventually, he couldn't stay any longer. He had enough; his father had gone too far. So he ran away, from his only family, a decision which he regrets every day because he left Claudia but one he couldn't be sure was more right because of his dad. He'd never felt so free than when his dad wasn't around to belittle him, or keep him constantly alert. Even though he felt a lot of guilt about it, a small part of him couldn't help but be relieved - just the slightest bit - that he didn't have to protect Claudia any more. He didn't have to stick with her, and watch over her every second of the day, because as much as he loved her, he did need a break from her once in a while - especially since lately she'd become a little too much like their dad.

It'd been almost a year since he left them now, and he - selfishly - could never have felt better. There were still some days where he was overridden with guilt - they were his family after all, she was all the family he had left, and vice versa - but there were so many more days where he was genuinely happy, happier than he's been for a while. A lot of it, he thinks, probably has to do with the people he's with now.

Up until now, he'd only had his mom who'd understood him, and even that had only been for a few precious years before she left. Then he'd been left with his dad, and sister and had to change so much about himself just so he could survive almost. But his circumstances have changed, namely Ezran becoming King.

King Ezran was a king, but also a child - one who reminded Soren of himself when he was younger. For the first time in a long time, he has someone who not only just wants to hear his ideas in the first place but who will actually listen and sometimes use them too! Ezran needed Soren's protection, but as Crownguard and not as someone who hid his true self to do so. In fact, Ezran encouraged Soren's true self to come out and accepted whatever it was, however unconventional, or childish because while the King was a child king, he was still a child and who better to understand Soren's inner childish self than a child?

Ez was someone who finally needed - actually depended on Soren's true self and it's crazy ideas.

It was refreshing and amazing and made Soren's heart feel warm in a way it hadn't since his mother left. Made him feel seen and true in a way he hadn't since she left.

All thanks to the young new King of Katolis, who was under his protection and as such, he would do anything - anything - to protect the boy. And he'd do it using his weird but genius ideas, not caring anymore what others said about him, because he was worthless no more. No, his overly imaginative, creative brain would be the one to save the boy who had saved him.

In charge of protecting the one he'd been ordered to kill before. He laughed.

Oh the irony. Get it? Because his dad… and the princes… and now he's Crownguard… he bent over, clutching his stomach as he gasped to fill his lungs in between giggles.

"Are… you okay?"

He straightens up, large grin still on his face as he looks at Corvus who's glancing at him with concern. Wiping a tear from his eye that'd slipped out from laughing too hard, he puts a hand on the other guy's shoulder.

"Yeah," he says, voice genuine as he adds to his answer. "Never better."

A/n: I don't know why I ended it like that, but oddly, i'm happy with it for once. I'm an older sibling myself, so some of this was a little personal but I think it just makes it easier for me to connect with Soren. Obviously our situations are very different, and I don't play dumb (to put it simply, without the negative connotation that seems to come with it) but I definitely don't show off my brain whereas my brother kind of does sometimes… but anyway, just saying I get the protectiveness (sometimes at your own cost) that an older sibling has for their younger sibling. I think at the core of it, that's who Soren is; he's a very sensitive and family oriented person, loving and very protective of those he loves.

(SPOILERS FOR SEASON 5 AHEAD BUT MINOR ONES)I also started writing this before I watched the 8th episode of season 5 where we kind of see a little into Soren's life when he's on the ship and he's talking to Deadwood. I don't think it changed much of what I wrote, but I feel like this fic is dealing with something different from his relationship with his dad so what he said didn't need to influence much in the first place.

Anyway, stay safe and see ya soon.

- CrowofArcadiaOaks