Gwen rested a hand on his shoulder, part sympathy, part trying-not-to-fall-over-from-shock. "Shit." She breathed harshly, her eyes scanning the screen over and over again.
Peter was completely frozen in his seat, his eyes unseeing as the small paragraph washed over him.
Sure, May thought highly of him. She always had, even before she found out he was Spider-Man! But this… Peter hated doubting her, he really did, but this didn't feel right. There was plenty of good he could do, but this was a little out of his pay grade, especially after everything that happened in November. He may have always tried to help everyone, but somehow, someway, Peter always messed it up. With the mask or without, he was nothing more than a short, gangly fuck-up. Parker Luck did that to you.
But even then, May was never wrong, especially when it was about someone being good or helpful. There was nothing she understood better than kindness.
Peter shuddered, burying his face in his hands as he tried to breath. It was okay. This could mean absolutely nothing. It probably did! May was all about helping people who needed it, and it only killed her once!
He froze as those words fluttered across his mind. He tried to stop it, he really did, but the dam was already broken.
His spider sense began thundering in his ears as his breathing became more erratic. He could barely feel his own body, let alone control it.
How could he even think that? It wasn't May's kindness that got her killed; no, she was the most amazing person ever, even to people who didn't deserve it.
Osborn, don't think about Osborn, don't think about the Green-
"Hey! Hey, Peter! What's going on?" Someone called as Peter barely registered two hands on his shoulders. "Talk to me, Pete!"
Her kindness is what came after her. It's what she was remembered for. It's what she should be remembered for. Not her useless nephew, the one who-
The Green Goblin was right, it was all him, this wouldn't have happened if-
Someone was singing. A woman, soft and gentle and red. It was as if she was standing a mile away, but her song reached him all the same.
It was good that the whole world's memory of him had been erased. Peter didn't deserve to be related to May. Even though he used that line all the time, it was nothing more than a lie. He wasn't her family, he's the one who got her killed. It was his stupidity, his arrogance, his failures that led to one of the greatest women ever living falling down in flames and blood.
The laughter rang through his head, bouncing around his skull, taunting and haunting him-
The hands on his shoulders squeezed even harder. "Peter? Please, say something!"
And it wasn't just May. It was Tony, it was Ben, it was Ned and MJ and the entire universe and everyone everywhere was suffering all because of him-
Osborn was about to say something, he split open his vile grin to speak, but he was stopped.
The woman's song reached a crescendo before ending all together. She smiled softly as someone began to shake him.
"Peter!" Gwen's voice pierced through the fog in his head. Her shout came with what felt like a rush of fresh air, and suddenly, feeling began to register throughout his body.
It was cold. He was shaking. His spider sense was falling quiet. Gwen was standing in front of him, her hands on holding onto his shoulders tightly. Her eyes were wide with fear and worry as her gaze bored into Peter's own. His face grew hotter as the post-panic embarrassment settled in him. Gwen's seemed to sparkle with hope as his cheeks turned red.
"Are you with me?" Gwen asked breathlessly. Peter opened his mouth to respond, but he could feel the words die on the back of his tongue, so he just nodded once. Her shoulders seemed to relax a little, but she didn't let go. "Okay, good. What can I do to help right now?"
Peter pressed his lips together, finding himself somewhat like a fish out of water. It's been ages since he had someone to coach him through the aftermath of a panic attack. It was embarrassing to have done it at FEAST; this was supposed to be a safe space, and his own spiraling thoughts just ruined that-
"Peter!" Gwen said again, lightly shaking him again. "I don't really wanna have to do this twice, so I'd appreciate it if you could stay with me." She shot him an uneasy smile.
Peter nodded, releasing a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He flexed his hands against his knees, belatedly grateful that he hadn't been holding onto anything else when he was lost to his thoughts. He probably would've snapped it into pieces.
"Is there anything I can do to help right now?" Gwen asked again, kneeling so that it didn't look like she was standing over him.
He looked down, embarrassment fully washing over him. Not just for the panic that came out of absolutely nowhere, but also from the fact that he couldn't form the words to explain or even so much as respond to Gwen. He hated that he couldn't help but fall silent after emotional episodes.
Peter brought his hands up and scrubbed at his face, hoping to remove any physical evidence of what just happened. When he looked back up with a weary smile that probably read more like a grimace, Gwen was giving him an inquisitive look, as if she didn't think he was being genuine.
Well, he wasn't, not really, but what did it matter?
Gwen opened her mouth to say something, and that was the moment two people practically kicked the front door down.
Jean and Carrie trudged back into the shelter, pulling carts behind them. One was absolutely overflowing with warm gear; blankets, beanies, scarves, and everything that could possibly fit in such a small cart. Jean was pulling the other one, which had three massive drink dispensers sitting in it, along with styrofoam cups.
"Jean! Carrie! You guys have great timing!" Gwen smiled brightly at them, standing up to speak to them. She put a foot in front of Peter so they couldn't really see him. He wished he had the words to express his gratitude for Gwen right now. "You guys can set everything up on the table behind the desk. Makes everything easy to grab."
Carrie nodded. "Sounds great, hun. What should-"
"Just set the dispensers out on the table, and we'll have one of the other volunteers hand out the warm supplies when people come for the cocoa. Peter," She turned to him, but still obscured him from the others' view. "Could you send a message in the Slack and have a few people come up here to handle this?" She smiled kindly down at him.
Peter nodded quickly, practically snatching his phone off the desk. Gwen stepped away from him, taking Jean and Carrie to the desk behind him to lay everything out.
After sending the message, he took a moment to breathe and to center himself. He still felt rattled, he still felt guilty, his spider sense was still nagging at him. But he couldn't let himself break down. Not anymore, at least. He couldn't let May down anymore than he already has.
The moment of shaky peace seemed to pass too quickly, as Peter felt a sudden elbow knock into his shoulder. He rubbed at him, shooting a pathetic glare at the offender.
Gwen stood above him again, a smile on her face, two cups of hot cocoa in her hands, and a soft looking blanket thrown over one of her arms.
"I think you could use a break, Pete. Now come on, I know the perfect spot." She jerked her head back and turned around.
Hesitantly, Peter got up and followed her.
"Hm."
"So?" Matt tapped his finger against the desk impatiently.
Frank narrowed his eyes at the paper, and Matt could hear the faintest growl from his throat. "Hm." He repeated, a little more firmly this time.
Matt sighed, crossing his arms and leaning further back on his desk. While he appreciated people being thorough, Frank was certainly taking his time, and it was wearing on Matt. He moved a finger over his watch, reading that it was getting close to evening. He had wanted to have this done with a lot earlier so he could consolidate his info in time to meet with Spider-Man.
At least Karen seemed to be enjoying herself. She was fervently going over several of the files, mostly related to the hero right before the Blip and everything after it.
She seemed to be in one of her 'work-work-work' modes that she tended to fall into whenever things got serious. Karen had done it almost as long as Matt's known her, and he could easily tell when it happened by the way her breathing evened out and she seemed to block out her surroundings.
Matt furrowed his brow at her, wishing he could read over her shoulder. It was odd, what she was doing right now. Or, rather, what she was focused on. He didn't think what she was working on was relevant to the current situation they were stuck in.
But when Karen Page focuses on something, you get out of the way before she barrels over you. It was one of the first lessons Matt learned about her when she started working at the firm.
She let out a loud, hissing breath as she turned to scribble something on her notepad.
Matt pressed his lips together in annoyed curiosity. As much as he wanted to ask her to spill, he knew far better. Just asking Karen about something was a tall order in the best of times, and when she was hiding something… it was better to wait until she was ready.
Foggy, who was sitting behind him at Matt's desk, was feeling the same way. Matt could practically feel his frustration building as he stared at Karen working. In a weird way, it was good, cause it meant his anxiety about Frank wasn't drowning him anymore, but it wasn't exactly a great distraction. Foggy sighed, toying with one of Matt's pens and doodling on a sticky note.
They both knew there was nothing they could do, but that doesn't mean that it didn't piss them off.
Karen bit her lip as she picked up a highlighter. Matt took a slow breath and started tapping his fingers against his arm, desperate for anything to do at the moment.
Finally, after what felt like an absolute eternity, Frank closed the file in his hands and dropped it on the pile. He breathed deeply through his nose for a moment before he looked up at Matt. "So."
Matt raised an eyebrow. "So?"
Frank looked at him and groaned. "Fine. Fine. I believe you. You were handling Fisk during the Blip." He crossed his arms, almost pouting like a toddler in the middle of a tantrum. "He really got his fingers into Hawkeye's head."
"Yeah," Matt huffed. "It was not fun dealing with him a bunch. I was thanking God when he left New York on his whole retribution mission. Made it all a lot easier to deal with."
"Seems you really rocked his shit a couple times." Frank smirked. "Didn't think you could take on an Avenger."
Matt shrugged, smirking. "Wasn't too hard. The idiot was just blindly following orders."
"Matt, could you stop bragging about that?" Foggy asked, clearly exasperated. "I already worry about you enough."
Frank snorted. "So what's Fisk up to now?"
Matt pressed his lips together, thinking for a moment. "He's been quiet since around Christmas." He mused.
"He was leading the Tracksuit Mafia, trying to get some power over the city again. But thanks to Daredevil, he couldn't quite get to the level he was at before or during the Blip." Foggy stood and rounded the desk, picking up one of the files from Frank's pile.
"From what I heard, Barton was involved again, though it seems he was fighting against Fisk." Matt pressed his hands against his desk, tapping them lightly as he thought. "Can't exactly call him and ask what's up. We're not exactly on speaking terms."
"Right." Frank said.
Foggy crossed his arms. "And your info?"
Frank looked down and sighed. "Of course. So-"
"Hold on," Foggy stopped Frank. He reached over to Matt's desk and ripped an empty sheet of paper from a random notepad. He crumpled it into a little ball before throwing it at Karen, hitting her square in the forehead.
Karen squawked, looking up in surprise. "Hey! Who the hell-"
"Karen." Matt gestured to Frank with his head. "Frank's gonna talk. Figured you'd want to hear this."
"Oh," Karen hummed. Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh! Right, yes. Gimme a sec…" She abruptly stood, scrambling over her desk to organize the files and consolidate her notes.
Matt cringed a little as she moved. She was focused, he'd give her that much, but there was definitely something off. Judging by Foggy's heart rate, he felt the same.
"Karen?" Foggy asked, concern in his voice. "Is everything okay? Is there something we should know about?"
She opened her mouth to respond, but her gaze got distracted by something on the notepad she picked up. Karen closed her mouth, sighing, before lightly shaking her head. "In time, maybe. Once I have the puzzle solved. But right now, it's best I keep this to myself."
"Does it have anything to do with Spider-Man?" Matt asked.
Karen's heart skipped a beat. It was absolutely about the hero.
"What is it?"
She made a face, the tension in her body palpable from across the room. "Like I said, I need to keep it to myself for now. It's what's safest." The room fell silent, and she looked at each of them. "Listen, I know you all want to know, especially if it's relevant to the current matter at hand. But it's not just my secrets I'm playing with, here. So my lips are sealed until all parties are comfortable with the situation. Got it?"
The three men in the room stared in her direction for a moment. After a minute, Matt sighed. "Fine. Alright. We trust you, Karen."
"I hope you're doing what's best." Foggy added quietly.
"I am." She injected a lot of confidence into her tone before she turned to Frank, notepad and pen in her hands. "So Frank?"
He hummed. "Right. Okay." He took in a deep breath. "So when I Blipped back, I tried to stay out of trouble. My record was finally clean, and I wanted to take advantage of that by trying to go straight. Got an apartment, met a girl, had a normal job, so on and so forth. It was… it was nice. It felt like I was finally putting the past behind me, like the blood on my hands could be washed off.
"But then a group of guys in a Maserati pulled in front of me while I was walking. They grabbed me, threw me in and sped off. These guys were at least as big as me, if not more so, so I couldn't manage to fight them off until we were close to their base of op. By the time I stepped out of the car, I was surrounded by a group of Manfredi's thugs, all with guns pointed my way." Frank shifted on his feet, clearly uncomfortable with talking about his own vulnerability. "I was ushered inside and tossed into a small cell. I originally had no idea why I was there, but at one point, enough of the guys had left that I managed to break out and take out the few who were there.
"From that point, I searched. Manfredi was gone, which sucks, but I did find an office with a ton of incriminating information. Included among those were massive payouts to Quentin Beck, as well as what was basically a small manifesto co-authored by pretty much all of the Maggia dons."
"What was the manifesto about?" Foggy asked.
"Spider-Man. Seems they really despise the kid." Frank shrugged.
Karen stiffened. "Could you elaborate on that?" Her tone was carefully blank.
Frank gave her a questioning look, but continued. "Spider-Man has been fucking with their operations since before the Blip. And when he returned, the kid somehow managed to use the chaos of rebuilding New York to destabilize their power dynamics, causing a lot of them to lose out on massive piles of cash and their turf. FEAST sure as hell didn't help that end, but from what I read, they decided not to go after the shelter quite yet."
"Did you ever figure out the specific reason why they used Beck as a means to get to Spider-Man?" Karen asked.
"No. And I still haven't. It's part of the reason why I went rogue. Spider-Man is obviously just a kid, and he does good work. Granted, he could do better, especially with his skills," He quirked an eyebrow at Matt, who had to repress an annoyed sigh. "But he's helped New York. Don't want to see him taken down by the fuckers who infect the city like a virus. Or worse, become a pawn in one of their schemes."
"Right," Foggy tapped a finger on his chin. "To go back a bit, what else did you find in the office?"
Frank hummed in thought. "A hell of a lot of receipts, mostly to Beck. Some vague writings on Fisk, which is why I figured you'd sat on your ass most of the Blip, Red. There was info on new weapons deals, and something about an organization in China. I took it all, but the only stuff that really caught my attention was the shit about Spider-Man."
"Was there anything else weird in the info about Spider-Man?" Karen asked as she wrote something in her notepad.
Frank opened his mouth to speak, but caught himself. He seemed oddly confused as he furrowed his eyebrows together. "Yes, I- I could've sworn they had something on the kid. Some kind of blackmail before the whole murder trial you dealt with. But for the life of me, I can't remember what it was."
Karen's heart stuttered again. Matt clenched his jaw. "It seems to be a recurring theme with him." He muttered, though he was pretty sure everyone in the room heard it. "Is there anything else?"
"Not from there. But I continued to try and interrogate people who might know, and also try to figure out why they wanted me. It's an odd combination, going after the Punisher and Spider-Man at the same time. I guess I started making a name for myself again," He rubbed the back of his neck. "Recently, I infiltrated a group of the Cicero's, and I found the reason behind all of this. At least, I think I found a lead on it."
Everyone else in the room straightened up, all their attention caught. "What is it?" Foggy asked breathlessly.
Frank smirked, huffing out a laugh. "It seems the Manfredi's need Spider-Man for some sort of international deal. They need info, and he's the goods the seller wants."