Part 3

It would have been weakness to react immediately.

Azula swallowed her surprise and made herself remain silent as they dragged her supply bundle out of the water, divided up all the materials into their knapsacks, and then plunged into the jungle. She made herself say nothing as she hacked a path through the denser foliage with a long knife, allowing Jeong Jeong to trail effortlessly behind her. She made herself save her breath as they ascended hills and used their ropes to pull themselves across rushing rivers.

The whole time, the skies grew more gray, the sun less and less visible as they traveled. She was sweating heavily, but somehow still felt a chill working its way back into her body.

It wasn't until Jeong Jeong said, "It looks like rain," that she could no longer hold back.

"When did you figure it out?"

He glanced at her. "When the clouds rolled in. And I thought I heard distant thunder just now."

"No, I mean-" She took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. "When did you figure out who I am?"

His face remained as sour as ever and didn't so much as twitch. "It was clear from the moment you confronted the bandits that you have been trained in the Royal variant of the Sacred Grove fighting style."

"But I didn't use my Firebending!"

"That does not matter. Even the way you walk is influenced by your style." He stepped lightly through the loop of a hanging vine without so much as brushing it. "The Caldera variant is reserved for the capital, and you bear signs of Ozai's tutelage. Only two people in the entire world display that legacy, and your brother has also been shaped by Iroh's influences, making you unique. I knew who you were from the first step you took."

Azula suspected that he was exaggerating at least a little, but it was true there was a distinction between the Caldera variant and the Sacred Grove style allowed for the everyone else. She would have put such discernment beyond most Firebenders, but Jeong Jeong was recognized as a highly skilled master. It would be a good thing to keep in mind.

"And why," she made herself say casually, "didn't you confront me right there?"

"Why would I confront you?"

Azula blinked. "So you don't serve my brother?"

"I am a servant, but not to any individual." His eyes narrowed at her. "Do not mistake me to mean I support your agendas. If your brother called on me to oppose your attempts at usurping the crown, I would answer. I will not allow the world to once again be plunged into a war fueled by fire!"

Azula snorted. "See, now I know you haven't been paying attention. I have no desire to depose my brother or become Fire Lord, nor do I want a return to war. And in his less cranky moments, Zuzu would confirm it."

For the first time in all their travels together, Jeong Jeong's eyebrows rose. "You don't?"

"Of course not. What would be the point?" She waved a dismissive hand as she hacked at a ridiculously thick bush with the blade in the other. "I admit that I favor Fire Nation imperialism, but the war ended and has been over for years now. The other nations have risen in strength, and we have given up all our advantages. Not to mention the Avatar and all that related business. The time for conquest by war is past, and Zuko has been successful enough in transforming the Fire Nation that I would see no support if I were to attempt to rule it even on peaceful terms."

"Then why are you a wanted criminal?" Jeong Jeong said, grabbing a snake which was attempting to drop on him, and throwing it behind his back. "I know you have attempted to disrupt Fire Lord Zuko's rule and hurt people."

"Oh, well, yes, I am guilty of that, and look forward to continuing for a long time. You see, I may not want war anymore, but I still philosophically oppose my brother on almost every level. He's a weak ruler and very bad with people. So I do my best to teach him and shape his policies from outside the system."

"By which you mean your terrorist activities."

"That's a very politicized term. But I will acknowledge that my philosophies include rule by a certain amount of fear, and so 'terror' is often a component in my machinations. But I really do hope my brother someday accepts my teachings, so that I can retire and find a more constructive calling."

"And in doing so, prove yourself his superior."

"Hm." Azula considered that observation, but it led her thought to her conversation with Father that night- and she decided she didn't want to think about it. "I suppose that would be true."

When no reply was forthcoming, Azula glanced back at Jeong Jeong. He was walking along, not at all impeded by the jungle's growth, with his eyes firmly on his path. Azula did not mistake this for a victory of any kind; she had learned that silence was one of his tools.

But Jeong Jeong did eventually speak again. "And what role does the ruins of the Sun Warriors play in your machinations?"

Azula thought about keeping silent, herself. If Jeong Jeong knew of her problem, he might try to stop her from finding the cure. But she would have to continue to keep that secret from him, despite the very large clue of her lack of Firebending during all their time together. And, considering his perceptiveness and patience, it was possible he could figure out and hide that fact from her, so she would have to work simultaneously to keep her secret and defend herself in case it was already discovered. Better to limit him to just one vector of attack.

"I am hoping," she said as casually as she could managed with no sun visible in the sky to warm her, "to find a way to restore my lost Firebending."

"Ah," was all Jeong Jeong said for a long time. They traveled for a while, and the jungle was starting to thin when he at last added, "The Avatar took your fire?"

Azula stopped and took a moment to just breathe before responding, "It was someone else." She dreaded that the next question would be to ask to whom she was referring.

Instead, Jeong Jeong said, "Why do you want your Firbending back?"

Azula whipped her head around to stare at him. "What kind of a question is that?!"

Jeong Jeong's brow was scrunched in puzzlement. "You are free of it. You could start a new life. Be a new person. Become someone capable of peace."

"But- it- How can you-" It was such an incomprehensible idea that she wasn't even sure what he was saying. "That's like chopping a hand off to become someone else! I'm still Azula, daughter of Ozai and a woman, Princess of the Fire Nation! I just can't Firebend and I'm cold every night!"

Jeong Jeong's expression grew pinched at that pronouncement. He looked down at his feet, lips pressed together so tightly they were white. At last, he started marching forward again, brushing past Azula without even looking at her.

She sighed and followed him.

Within minutes, they reached the edge of the jungle and, just as Azula's new maps had directed, found the ancient city of the Sun Warriors. The yellow stone that made it up was dull in the cloudy atmosphere and vines had crawled haphazardly over everything. A ziggurat rose in from the center to tower over the rest of the city, dark and dead and no longer proud.

"Finally," Azula hissed.

Then it started pouring rain.

Surprisingly, despite the city's age, its drainage systems were still perfectly functional. The water running through the stone streets only came up to Azula's ankles.

It was a terrible downpour, though, and soon Azula and all the supplies she carried were soaked. She did have a waterproof iguana-seal-skin poncho, but that could only do so much when the wind would come along and turn the downpour into a sidepour and sometimes even an uppour. It was a warm rain, just like the ocean, but Azula still felt like she was bleeding heat from every pour of her damp skin. She hugged herself and fought against the wind and made her way through the city.

Jeong Jeong had gone ahead, seemingly unbothered by the rain. Azula didn't care if she ever saw him again.

She noticed the first tripwire thanks the eddies it created in the rainwater flowing down the street. She stepped carefully over it, or as carefully as she could when every movement caused a splash, and made sure to keep an eye out for other traps. She wasn't sure if they would work, considering the age of the ruins, but a tripwire taut enough to resist this rain was enough indication to be on guard.

Ah, but who said these traps were ancient? Zuko had probably come here, and maybe more of the Avatar's companions. Leaving deadly surprises behind for any enemies following in their footsteps was a surprisingly practical move, so she assumed the Avatar's Sokka had come up with it. And he was a clever one, too, so she could not underestimate the traps.

Between that and the sky's attempt to drown her, she decided to find some shelter for now. Better to dry off a little and start her search when the weather wasn't being contrary. She looked around for a building that was more or less intact, but too often she got closer only to find big disappointing cracks in the walls or roof. And when she did finally find one that was rainproof, there was already the light of flames glowing inside.

Azula did not get her hopes up, and so was felt no surprised when that light proved not to be Sun Warrior magic, but merely Jeong Jeong with his stupid cheap candles. The building might have been some kind of gathering space in the past, but now it was merely a wide open space with some fancy tilework on the floor and walls and a stage or alter of some kind in the back.

Jeong Jeong was meditating in the center of the semi-circle again, but this time hadn't incorporated a campfire, and the candles were burning as chaotically as ever. When Azula took off her knapsack and began rummaging to see if there was any wood dry enough for a good blaze, Jeong Jeong opened his eyes and said, "I will not light anything for you today."

She looked at his sputtering candles and wondered if he was being petty or just weak.

No matter. She had reached her goal and would not let anything stop her now. She drank rainwater, ate a soggy ration portion by chewing until it gave up in defeat, and then put herself through a regime of exercises that got her blood flowing and completely exhausted her.

When Azula awoke the next morning, it was still raining and thundering. There was no sign of the sun.

Jeong Jeong looked out through the building's doorway at the rain. "I will make us tea."

Either he was feeling better or he really needed a wakeup cup, too.

He boiled the water by holding the teapot in his hands, and poured for both himself and Azula. As they drank, he looked at the tilework on the floor where they were sitting. Orange and yellow tiles created an image like a bird with long trailing feathers. "A phoenix."

"I prefer dragons," Azula said.

They didn't speak again even as they left to explore in the rain.

The ruins were a wealth of artistic spectacle. Statues, murals, and mosaics could be found around every corner. One could have mistaken all the stonework for the fruits of Earthbending, but on close examination, the seams where the stones had been fitted together were visible. In a way, Azula found that more impressive; it took more skill and intelligence to use less powerful tools. Even the architecture was breathtaking in the amount of engineering they must have required. Every building was as ornate as a prominent fire temple in a wealthy city, but they had been made without wood or metal.

Sadly, Azula was not interested in art or architecture. She could acknowledge the impressiveness while being completely unimpressed by it all, especial the stupid amount of stairs in the city. Every entrance and view had to have an excessively long staircase leading up to it. If she didn't know any better, Azula might have wondered if Airbenders had lived here.

She spent that first day merely taking in the obvious sights and searching for traps. There was plenty about fire and Firebending incorporated into the art and architecture. Some of it was imagery that could be found in any fire temple. There were also plenty that showed dragons interacting with humanity. Sometimes flying together, sometimes worshiping the sun together. Some of the more exciting stuff did indeed have dragons burning people alive, but despite its nature it wasn't very violent, not even having the people visibly injured or recoiling in pain. Azula considered that maybe it was depicting Master Firebenders withstanding the flames, but if so, it was baseless bragging, or perhaps a wild story of days that never existed.

Despite the Sun Warriors being warriors, there was very little about actual war. But then, considering that the civilization was dead now and their city in ruins, perhaps they hadn't been very good at fighting and had no great victories to proclaim. There were plenty of images of fire being used to cook food and spread light and make things, all very beautiful and perfectly boring.

Something that unified all the imagery, though, was the universal presence of Firebending. There were no conveniently explicit pictograms about someone without fire learning to Firebend.

But that probably just meant that the trick was in the philosophy, not a technique.

That night, when Azula and Jeong Jeong had retired to their indoor campsite, he made a fire, and they shared some soup and tea and discussed their findings.

"I'm sure academics would be thrilled with this place," Azula said at one point, "but so far I haven't found anything worth the trip. Just the same old pro-element propaganda that every nation has in its history. Paint over the flames with rocks and they could be murals from the ruins under Ba Sing Se."

Jeong Jeong tilted his head at that and paused with his teacup halfway to his lips. "What you say is true. It is not the aggressive imagery I have always seen. It is just- just life."

They went to sleep to sound of rain battering stone and thunder echoing over the jungle.

It rained the next day as well.

Azula probed for secret rooms or hidden treasures. Jeong Jeong stared at statues of tribal dancers. She found nothing. If he took anything from his observations, it didn't change his mood at all.

Both were silent at dinner that night.

The rain took a break just after dawn on the third day. But the clouds did not part, and soon it started again.

Azula tried meditating in some of the more ornate buildings, immersing herself in thoughts of dragons, thoughts of the power to soar the sky and incinerate entire cities in wrath. She imagined feeling warm, but her imagination wasn't very good with all the leaks in the roofs.

Jeong Jeong meditated at the top of the ziggurat. He came back soaking wet and went to bed without dinner or playing with his candles.

Azula ate cold food again that night.

How long it could rain before the whole ashing island was underwater?!

The statues! Their poses probably meant something!

Azula tried mimicking every statue she could find, even finding a few that seemed to indicate a kind of sequence, but none of them brought the spark back to the hole inside her.

There were some buildings with sealed entrances, the locks too old to work. Fortunately, the Sun Warrior civilization had apparently been very big on ventilation, and there was usually a way to see the interior, even if it was a barred window or sunroof.

There didn't seem to be anything different in those buildings, and the amount of water accumulating on the floor put to rest the idea of secret basements or hidden ancient scrolls.

Some days, Azula would barely see Jeong Jeong. She would almost forget his existence until she entered a building or courtyard to find him staring up at pictograms of dragons handing people bread or something. Every time, she'd initially mistake him for a shadow-cloaked enemy or maybe even a vengeful ghost of a Sun Warrior and startle, but then she'd see that he was just an unkempt old man without the sense to come in out of the rain.

At one point, Azula tried making herself a little boat by tying together a bunch of the broad waxy leaves from the jungle. The theory was that whatever insight the ruins could provide would not work if the student's feet were wet.

It was, admittedly, a long shot, even aside from the boat sinking.

The last night of their stay came. Azula was tempted to remain behind and forage for food, certain that there was some secret here she was missing. But no, that would be stupid. She and Jeong Jeong were out of things to eat, and the boat would not wait for them if they weren't at the shore by the end of tomorrow. Better to restock and find a way back, perhaps with a more permanent base and supply chain.

Across the empty space of their indoor campsite, sitting on the tile phoenix, Jeong Jeong held a single lit stub of a candle in his hand.

Maybe Azula could fake her way into a university and get them to sponsor an expedition? Hm, but then she would have people looking over she shoulder who weren't so blase about her being an international criminal. She couldn't imagine she would be sent off alone unless she could steal an existing and very trusted identity.

Jeong Jeong just stared into his little candleflame. His other candles were not in sight. Maybe he had put them away. Or- they had been growing rather low the last few nights. Maybe they were used up?

Azula wondered if the Avatar would be interested in helping her. He had an investment in understanding how Firebending could be taken away, after all, and it was possible he was weak enough to help her if she used all her natural charisma and intelligence to charm him into feeling sympathy for her. She'd just have to come up with a way to convince him that her losing her Firebending wasn't in his best interests.

Jeong Jeong sighed and put the candle stub down on the floor.

Azula, laying sprawled on a sleeping back that was only slightly damp, rolled her eyes at the ceiling. "What's your problem? I would have expected this to be a rewarding trip for you."

"I do not know why you would think that." Jeong Jeong lowered his head and stared into his empty hands. "You do not even know why I came here."

"You said you wanted insight. That you were on a pilgrimage." Azula sat up and hugged her legs to her chest. "I'd have thought all this culture would be enough to make even you crack a half a smile. Any fire sage would be rolling around in excitement. If the ground wasn't so wet."

Jeong Jeong looked up at her with a glare, but then his expression softened and he gave a slow nod. "You are more insightful than I. All the answers I could want are indeed here. But it seems I am no fire sage, for nothing that I have seen offers me any comfort."

"Then you were clearly asking the wrong questions."

Jeong Jeong said nothing. But he did give another nod.

Azula wondered if she should continue wasting her time with this. But it wasn't like she had anything better to do. And perhaps a distraction would provide the last piece of whatever puzzle she needed to solve. "And are you going to voice those questions, or just continue to be an even damper presence than the rain which has afflicted us on and off (but mostly on) for the last two weeks?"

Jeong Jeong creakily unfurled himself until he was sitting with a perfectly straight back in a proper lotus position. "Is Firebending inherently evil? That was my question."

Azula snorted. "Is that it? Of course Firebending isn't bad. Evil is an invention of humanity and doesn't really exist. It's a way to condemn moral frameworks people don't agree with."

Jeong Jeong made a sharp sound that Azula initially mistook for a cry of pain. It was the lack of a smile that had fooled her. But she realized, as the sound echoed off the stone walls and lost its edge, that it was a single laugh.

He said, "You are right. If I had asked you when we met, I would not have needed to come at all. You are the classic fool from whom wisdom springs."

"Excuse me?" Azula was on her feet before she even realized she was moving. "I am no fool. I am the reason we even made it this far! You would have taken years, if you made it all! I'm the one who handled all the practical matters. I'm the one who spoke for our expedition! I earned and spent the money, grandfather!"

Jeong Jeong waved all that away. "You busied yourself and eased some of our paths, but confounded yourself looking for roads that others had made for you. You were lost. In the world- and in yourself! The true fool misunderstands himself more than anything of the world, and you truly have no understanding of who you are."

"I am Azula!" She stomped over to stand over him. "Daughter, princess, criminal, philosopher, and everything else we talked about to fill the horrible silences you create with your unpleasantness. What exactly don't I understand?!"

"You think you had your Firebending taken from you."

She felt those words like a blow to the stomach, an icicle stabbed straight through her. "It was."

"You admitted the Avatar didn't do it. Therefore, it was not done."

"It was my father!"

The echoes of the last word bounced around the room, mocking her with every repetition.

And then Jeong Jeong further mocked by snorting and saying, "See? You are a fool. He has no power to do such a thing."

"He ripped my fire out through my throat!" Azula kicked at Jeong Jeong, but it was sloppy and his position was solid, so all it accomplished was making her stumble backwards. "I broke into the Capital Prison to talk to him, to see him and tell him that I need help because all I ever do is lose to Zuko! He told me to come over to the bars, and I did, and he- he was choking me and calling me a failure and I couldn't breathe!"

Jeong Jeong stood up and faced her with no expression on his face. "I am sure that was very traumatic. But you were in no danger, and he did not take your Firebending. Ozai is so unbalanced now, in body and spirit, that he barely has the strength to lift his head. He has no power over you."

"Liar!" Azula swiped at the tears leaking from her eyes. "I couldn't breathe! And when I pulled away, I wanted to burn him- to show him what pain and betrayal really feel like, but I- I- there was no fire! I- I was so cold- I-"

"You," Jeong Jeong said, shaking his head, "really are an idiot."

"I am not! I'm a genius!"

"A genius?! And yet you don't realize that your father could do no such thing?!"

"Shut up!" Azula wiped at her eyes again, for they were wet and stinging, but she found that the rest of her face was wet, too. She was sweating even though it felt so cold in here, the damp air prickling at the insides of her lungs with every breath. "We didn't think the Avatar could, either! You have to keep your mind open to the possibilities, you senile old fool! Only idiots assume they know everything!"

"Only idiots refuse to acknowledge the truth in front of their faces, like the fact that your Inner Fire dimmed when your monster of a father betrayed you, and you haven't actually lost your Firebending."

"That's not what happened!" She panted for air, the room tilting around her. Was she becoming sick with a fever? That would explain how could she be sweating while shivering.

"Of course that's what happened!" Jeong Jeong's voice echoed impossibly loud through the thick air. "There's no mystery here! Just a terrible man who thinks himself a father-"

Azula shook her head, trying to clear it, trying to deny the words she was hearing.

"-and his stupid daughter-"

Azula's vision swam, darkness closing in.

"-who can't handle being hurt by him!"

"And what are you?!" The raw heat in her voice pushed back against the darkness, but it was a struggle, and she could feel herself swaying on her feet. She grasped onto her fury and tried to pull herself away from the cold. "Maybe you're just an awful person who happens to be a Firebender! Maybe it was always just you!"

"What?!" Jeong Jeong took a step forward and leaned down to stick his face right up to Azula's. "What did you say?"

Azula pushed him. Her arms were like wet noodles, but somehow there was enough strength to send him back a step. "I said you're nothing special! Just another loyal soldier who got sick of the violence and wanted to blame anything but yourself for what you did!" She shook free of the darkness and sweat in her hair. "You don't need a new Firebending philosophy. You just need to get over yourself! Even my Uncle Iroh could manage that much! Even Zuzu!"

Jeong Jeong blinked. "Yes. They did." He turned to stare at the phoenix on the floor. "They looked at their failings and turned away. I- I still have not. I may not ever be able to." He looked back up at Azula. "And perhaps neither will you."

Azula stalked up to him, stood on the tips of her toes so she could scowl right into his face, and tried to not let her dizziness knock her to the floor. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"That both of us are, fundamentally, just terrible people incapable of true change or improvement. The best we can do is diligently, relentlessly guard against our own flaws, and honor those who have transcended theirs. Our betters. We are not capable of anything else."

"Our betters?!"

He turned and walked away from her, moving to the back of the room, where the light of the single candle could not reach. Azula could just barely make out the shape of his shadow as he raised his right arm to brush at the side of his face- perhaps his eye?

He turned back, and with his face hidden from the light - or perhaps her sickness was turning her blind - he said, "Deep down, perhaps you now recognize it, too. It is not fire that it is evil. It is simply that we are not worthy of it. We have reaped the consequences of wasted lives."

Azula-

-was not worthy-

-of her fire?

She-

-deserved-

-this?

The room spun around her. Her first impulse was to give in. To let go of consciousness and maybe never wake up again. To admit that Jeong Jeong was right. But-

But-

She didn't deserve this!

She didn't deserve any of it!

How dare he say she deserved it!

"I DON'T DESERVE WHAT FATHER DID! I'LL SHOW YOU A WASTE OF LIFE!" And in the echoes of her snarl she found the light. It was a blue light, born of the indigo flames blossoming from her outstretched hands and directed straight at Jeong Jeong's face.

She had summoned her flames.

She was a Firebender again.

No, she had always been a Firebender.

She barely had time to be surprised at herself when Jeong Jeong exploded.

He didn't even shrink from her flames, instead stomping the floor and raising his hands, sparking a blaze of bright sun-colored fire from the point where his boot struck the stone. It exploded upward and outward with light and heat and concussive force, pushing back and consuming Azula's sloppy attack. It was a true demonstration of the power of a Master Firebender.

But not so much a show of control or accuracy.

The explosion continued upward, striking the ceiling and punching through it. The heavy stone, in turn, collapsed from the weight that was no longer being precisely shared across its supports.

The whole roof fell in.

Azula dashed back towards one of the tall walls and Jeong Jeong did the same. Fortunately, the Sun Warriors' architectural prowess was not limited to decorations, and the walls remained standing. Some of the rubble of the ceiling tumbled close, but Azula managed to not let herself be flattened.

When the dust cleared, she could see that Jeong Jeong had also managed to survive on the other side of the room.

The rain swept in unimpeded, soaking both of them and leaving them steaming as their anger cooled. The candle, if it hadn't been crushed, had gone out.

Azula stared at Jeong Jeong, but he merely looked at the damage with horror written on his face.

It would have been appropriate for the dawn to bring an end to the rain, and for a bright new sun to rise on a glorious future.

Instead, it kept raining. Of course.

So Azula celebrated the return of her Firebending by trekking across an extra muddy jungle with a more-sullen-than-usual Jeong Jeong at her side. She was still wearing her waterproof poncho, which was still failing to keep her at all dry, but at least it would be easy to clean.

They hadn't spoken since the argument last night. Azula wasn't sure whether or not she was still mad. She knew she hated the things Jeong Jeong had said. But they had played some role in getting her Firebending back. But he had certainly not said them to help her. He was not her grandfather, nor her ally. And she was not his.

But she did at least think they had something of an understanding. And perhaps that was worth preserving.

"Do you intend," she decided to venture, "to eventually come back?"

Jeong Jeong's eyes flicked to her before turning to the muddy animal track they were following. "No."

She nodded. Like she had, he was already carrying everything he needed. It was just a matter of breaking through the pain. Perhaps he would get lucky and it wouldn't be another pain driving him in that direction.

Like it had for her.

"For what it's worth-" She cut herself off. They weren't allies. He wouldn't be interested in her thoughts.

But he said, so quietly she could barely hear him above the rain, "It just might be worth everything."

Azula sighed. "I was going to say, I do hope you find whatever answer you need. The less unstable Firebenders running around, the better."

As always, his reply was a long time in coming. The trees were becoming sparser when he said, "Better for them, and better for us."

They emerged from the jungle to find their ship - no, their boat - waiting to return them to the lands of the living.

END