Game Time
Emmet spoke and most surprisingly -he thought-, words came out. He decided to speak again but this time he was going to do a big one. Emmet cheered louder but as more sound came out of his mouth his ears heard the voice of an angel spake to him from inside of his head.
"Shut up," the beautiful voice said. Emmet looked around unsurprised and said to Jacob who was next to him, wearing nothing, and said, "I knew God was a woman!".
Meanwhile from where the voice actually came from…
From across the river as Rosalie heard the announcer from the TV proclaim to all those watching the broadcast, "Fair ball!, fair ball!, fair ball!..." several times before devolving into stat-cast regurgita. Bella heard Rosalie mumble to herself so low that she knew it wouldn't carry back across the river and through the glass windows of the house where Emmet was watching a Mariner's baseball game with Jacob, "Alice already told you that they are going to lose so what is the purpose of you cheering for them?".
But Rosalie turned and smiled smilingly down at Regurgitation who was with her and Bella in the woods surrounding the Cullen compound, and puffed her cheeks up with air as Reminiscence brought her little ravioli sized fists together causing Rosalie's cheeks to blow a big ol' raspberry. The young Reconnaissance's face made the face all daughters faces make when this kind of thing happens. "That is gross Rosalie, you need to wipe her face off now that you sprayed venom all over her." Bella reached down into a giant bag that had Paw Patrol characters on it and was sticky for some reason and pulled out a green pack of baby wipes that she handed to Rosalie. While Rose wiped Reconciliation's face off with the wipe, she stared at Bella who was now placing the wipes back into the humongous bag. "I'm so much prettier than you are since you had a baby." she said this pointedly raising her eyebrows at Bella challenging her to say that she wasn't.
Bella said, "No one is more pretty than you Rosalie." with an exasperated huff as she realized that having a baby was a lot more work than she could do. "Please take care of her for a while because now I'm going to go have sex with Edward in our cabin." and in an emotional climax of horny feelings Bella left and now Rosalie had a baby just like she always wanted.
"Why am I so horny?!" exclaimed Bella. "Because you are." Alice said ignoringly.
All of the sudden Jasper just died, and Alice was completely okay with it after only a couple of feeble attempts of trying to not be okay with it because now she could be with Bella just like all of the FanFiction dot net writers wanted her to.
While Edward and Bella were having hot Mormon sex in the missionary position and not really moaning all that loudly the little silver phone that Edward had in his jeans pocket rang and he answered it like an old man holding it far out in front of his face so he could see the tiny numbers and contact name that was calling. It was Carlisle on the other end of the phone and Bella heard him say that he was going to go golfing and not take care of patients just like a real doctor does and probably was going to be late for dinner just like a real dad always is. After telling Edward to make sure he mowed the grass he burped loudly and hung up after saying something that sounded like "WellyagottagethetdunWard...".
"I sure am glad I survived having your baby." Bella stated pointedly at Edward as she took a huge bite out of a Beefy Melt Burrito from Taco Bell that she had just pulled from her side table.
Clutching her stomach in immense distress Bella said, "I sure do hope that lawn mower has as much gas in it as I do.", and letting rip a huge amount of ass got up out the coffin her and Edward were doing it in.
She slung a leather jacket over her shoulders, popped the collar, lit a cigarette off a match strike that she struck with her boot and winked at Edward. "Come on kiddo let's go get to work. "
As Edward walked out of the house Bella followed and threw her leg over his back like she was getting on Jacob's motorcycle and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes.
"Ride to live, live to ride." , she said as she made a sound that she intended to be like the truck horns on semi rigs. Pulling her hand down like she was pulling the release on an air horn was Edward's cue and he took off towards the Cullen house like a fart out of a nun's ass. Riding on Edward's back was a lot smoother than riding Jacob because when she was riding Jacob it shook her inner goddess plagurizingly.