The Unknowing

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or anything dealing with DCU

Chapter Eight: Apologies Are Best Done In Person

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Raven's POV

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I blindly wander about Wayne manor for what seems like hours. The corridors are long and never ending. Dick briefly showed me around when we first arrived, like the room I'll be staying in while we crash here and other basics like the kitchen and bathroom. Besides the three, the place is empty until Bruce and Alfred return.

My goal is to find Jason and apologize, again. I felt like I needed to explain myself. I never meant to cause any harm, it happened before I could wrap my head around it. I remember the emotions I felt at the time. I was scared. I didn't know why I passed out and not knowing really got under my skin. Another puzzle piece gone, not knowing why or how. But more than anything, I felt an intense anger within myself. It came out of nowhere, no not nowhere, it came from deep within me. I can feel it clear as day now. However this doesn't make sense, I've worked everyday to hold back my emotions in order to protect everyone and the cosmos.

Since I defeated Trigon, all those years ago, I have been safe to express my emotions more freely. More than I have ever been able to before. While I have this new found freedom, my personality and the way I talk barely changed. For the most part, I am still vastly the same. I like who I am and having full control to do whatever I wanted in my life was the best feeling in the world. It was new and beautiful.

So while I have this newfound freedom, I still have to maintain control over my emotions when it comes to my powers. They are tied to emotions, if I feel too strongly then I could lose control and cause damage or worse, hurt someone.

That being said, where did this anger come from? I haven't felt Trigon's influence in years and I wasn't in a dire situation where I was losing control. And why did I pass out after using my soul-self to teleport us back to Dick? I remember easily feeling Jason and what he was holding back but that was hardly enough to make me faint.

Something wasn't clicking into place. On my end, I am doing everything correctly. I was whole until something, or someone, started plucking a part of me away, one piece at a time. My mind immediately travels to Brother Blood. It's well known by now that he and his cult are followers of Trigon. They would do anything for him. Everytime the Titans and I crossed paths with his cult, it never went according to plan. I just don't understand what his goal is though. It doesn't make complete sense to me. Trigon is gone, I made sure of that and he isn't coming back. Blood has to know this. He knows I can't bring him back even if I wanted to. So why would he want to throw me off my game? But why is Blood working with Joker? Thankfully, I've never crossed paths with Joker so he has nothing to gain by coming after me.

Jason is a different story. The Joker killed him to make a point to Batman. But before just recently, I had very little contact with Jason. I only knew him as Red X, years ago. The only true link tying us together is Dick. How is this all connected? And how is Slade connected to all of this?

I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don't notice where my feet have brought me until I stumble across a large library. Jason appears to be on his way out when we spot each other.

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry-"

Jason raised his hands in front of him, as if trying to convey he came in peace. Guilt seeps from him.

"Please, let me go first. I should have never put hands on you, it was completely out of line and I'm sorry, Raven. You have my word it won't happen again."

The guilt he feels grows stronger which only makes me feel even worse. This is all my fault.

"Jason, it's okay. I brought it upon myself. I'm the one who's sorry. I was the tipping point to make the pit go chaotic, not you."

Dick should be upset with me, not Jason. He did everything right, I'm the one who can't control her powers and causing this fiasco.

Jason paused. "How do you know about the pit? Did Dick tell you that?"

"No, he didn't tell me anything. I could sense it, well at first I wasn't sure what I sensed since my magic has been off but now I have no doubt. The Lazarus pit flows through you."

"How do you know about the Lazarus pit?" Jason eyes me as he crosses his arms and leans against the door frame of the library.

"It's dark magic, Trigon's dark magic to be exact. He placed them on Earth so he could steal the souls of those who bathe in it. He's the reason they're here. That's how I was finally able to decipher," I pause, thinking over my words carefully. How can I describe what I feel in the right words?

"Decipher what?"

"It's nothing, I just sensed something different than most people. I didn't realize it was the pit until I did something stupid enough to agitate it." I huff in frustration while mimicking him in crossing his arms over his chest. "Either way, I should have known better." I chew on the inside of my cheek, a bad habit I picked up years ago. "I'm so sorry for releasing my empathy onto you, Jason. You were just trying to help me." I let out a deep breath I had been holding for a while. "I'm such a mess right now…"

"Don't beat yourself up, Little Bird. You weren't in full control of yourself, neither was I." He stops in deep thought. "To be honest, I felt the pit rising ever since Dick knocked on my door. The last couple of days have been harder to… keep it under wraps."

Jason unfolded his arms and unconsciously stood straighter as he looked me over. His features softened and his blue eyes shined bright. For a moment, those pools of blue are all I could see as I feel my senses lighten. Tiny specks of green littered about as he downcasted his gaze before looking me square in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Raven. You have my word, I'm going to make it up to you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. My eyes followed his white streak as it fell in his eyes and he brushed it back. It was then I noticed his tightened jaw. He was nervous and I could feel his guilt leaking from him. I couldn't blame him, not even a little. I felt his agitation before pushing his buttons and I still did it anyway. Why had I done it in the first place? I never wanted to hurt my friends, or whatever Jason was to me. He didn't deserve that and I'm lucky he held back as much as he did. I wasn't sure if anyone else could after being put through that.

"Call it even?" I flashed the faintest of smiles while he nodded and let out a breath of relief.

"So I don't have a soul?"

"Hmm? You have a soul, Jason, I can feel it."

"But you just said whoever bathes in the pit gets their soul stolen from this Trigon. Being in the pit is one of the worst experiences of my life. It changed me forever. How do I have a soul if it brought me back?"

"I would assume something or someone else brought you back, perhaps before you were exposed to the pit. And with that, your soul. Whatever it was, it made you strong enough to resist him taking it. Your body and soul were intact but… I feel your mind wasn't. That's what the pit brought back, wasn't it? Your mind?"

He seemed taken aback to my words. There was very little that he remembered before waking up to madness and bolting for the closest exit. For the most part it was all a blur. Talia filled him in here and there with pieces of information but ultimately she kept her secrets. Whatever she could do to have the upper hand to stay in control. And who knows if she ever told him the truth. For all he knows, everything she said could be a lie. Except one thing. Bruce never avenged him. She had been extremely honest about that key detail.

"You can sense all of that?"

I can tell he thinks there's a catch. That I must be a mind reader. A telepath. Something more than I'm letting on.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. My empathic powers are quite strong. I usually have a better grip on these things but…" I trailed off as I sucked on the inside of my cheek, suddenly feeling anxious. "Either way, now that I know Trigon's magic flowed through you once before, it felt like the floodgates opened up to me."

"Why's that? And who is this Trigon guy anyway?"

"Trigon is an interdimensional demon, a slayer of worlds…" I turned away. "He's also my father."

Ever since I found out who Trigon was, I've been ashamed. Ashamed to forever be tied to him. Ashamed the Titans found out all those years back when I tried so desperately to hide it from them. I was nothing like him and I know that but when other people find out where I come from and the story that goes along with it, they prejudge me. Pin me as evil or on the verge with just one bad day away from destroying everything.

And that's why I've worked so hard every single day of my life to prove everyone wrong about me. To show them that I can do good and deserve a home in this realm. But most people, like the Justice League, among others, had a difficult time believing me and my need to do good.

That's why I turned away, looking at my feet while I hid behind the safety of my hood. I've seen people's reactions when I open up about my heritage and I didn't want to add another face to that list. Surprisingly, I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary from him. Ignoring my worries, I sneak a peek at him to see his facial features are not one of an angry man but rather… understanding?

"If I've learned anything, it's that we don't pick our parents or family." His voice is velvety smooth and there's a twinkle in his blue eyes I hadn't noticed before.

"You're not freaked out?" My voice sounds so small to me, just above a whisper.

"Why would I be?" He arches an eyebrow and tilts his head in confusion.

I shrug. "Most people are."

"Yeah, well I'm not most people." He smirks, his cocky attitude making another appearance.

"I suppose not," I say slowly, as I try to fully understand the complex man in front of me.

"Besides, I've fought you enough to know you always held back. Well maybe not combat wise, you still need work. Either way, I figured there was more than meets the eye to you."

I snorted at the almost compliment. "I told you I'm not a liability. I can handle myself."

"You proved that last night but I have a sticking suspicion that you could still use some work, Sunshine."

Was he… teasing me?

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Noted."

He scratches the back of his neck. "If you want, I can train you during our downtime."

I raised an eyebrow at him, uncertain. "Hmm, I don't know…"

"Come on, I'll even show you some moves Dickie doesn't know."

I pause, unsure why he even cares. After all, we barely know each other. "Why do you want to help me?"

He shrugs. "Beats sitting around the manor. Besides I've read every book in this place, I need a change of pace."

I blinked and pinched my nose. "Fine. When?"

He flashed his pearly whites in that bad boy way he does so well.

"No time like the present, Sunshine."