"When all you know is fight or flight, red flags and butterflies all feel the same." Luke Spencer mutters, raising a glass of whiskey to his lips. Luke had been the mourning the loss of his grandson Jake Spencer and drinking too much...Now he was at Jake's, getting drunk. Johnny Zacchara hopped onto the bar stool beside Luke, nodding at his words.
"Hey, Luke. How are you doing?" Johnny simply says, knowing what Ethan said about Luke but-Johnny understood because he used Whiskey and Bourbon to try and heal himself.
"Young Zacchara, I know I've made mistakes in the past but I have fucked up. Tracy's divorced me but, that's neither here nor there." Luke mutters, not much concerned about Tracy as he was his daughter.
"I heard about what happened...Lovett tells me you're taking it pretty hard." Johnny nods.
"It's Lulu. I yelled at her-it's not like I've never yelled at my daughter before but, I could see her visibly flinch. I think I brought out a painful memory, I can't take that moment back. Lulu looks at me like I'm some hero but, I've never been that. Why does she think I'm running away all the time?" Luke mutters with regret, for a long time he hadn't been talking to a single soul.
"Yeah, When Lulu was dating Logan he would scream at her all the time-that's why I hated him so much. Lulu was always on guard and fragile especially after he was dead-I'm sure she won't hold it against you. I don't see Lu often but, she thinks the world of you." In truth, Johnny understood why Luke took all these adventures-it was a coping mechanism.
"She shouldn't...I just don't think I'll ever be who Lulu thinks I am. Oh, I probably brought up memories of THAT scumbag-father of the year. If you see her, please take care of her. I don't much trust the young detective to do his job as her boyfriend." Luke mutters, sullen and withdrawn.
"No matter what, Lulu will always go to bat for you. I don't think you're as horrible as you think, I know three people that would say the same. Everyone makes mistakes, that's life. I know my biggest mistake was losing Lulu, and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. If she comes by, I'll take care of her...I don't trust Falconeri as far as I can throw him. I just want her to be happy." Johnny bit his lip, knowing that he would always love her.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, young Zacchara. As you said, people make mistakes- I don't think you're time is up with my daughter. Sometimes two people just need a break so that they can come back together...stronger. If there's any consolation...Lulu smiled more when you were her boyfriend. Whenever she see's you, there's that same bright smile." Luke drained the rest of his whiskey as he spoke.
"Maybe. I won't hold my breath-I would love to be with Lu again but, I'm not going to disrupt her life because of my wishes. Oh, she does? I hadn't noticed." Johnny didn't plan to drink tonight, he'd just been at Jake's to talk to Luke. After their conversation, Johnny went home to his apartment. Around seven-thirty there was a knock on his door...who could that be? On the other side of the door was Lulu Spencer, drenched in rain and crying her eyes out.
"Come in, I'm sure you're freezing." Johnny blinked ushering her inside, after recovering from his initial shock.
"I'm sorry to come by like this, it's not me." Lulu mumbled, Johnny taking her jacket as she sat on the couch.
"Do you want to talk about it? Don't apologize, I always love seeing you." Johnny dropped down to sit by her.
"I feel like a kid-crying about my dad. Ugh, I'm so embarrassed. Coming crying to my hot ex-boyfriend-oh I just said that out loud. I'm so sorry." Lulu winced, this really wasn't going well.
"Oh, so I'm the hot ex-boyfriend?" Johnny smirked, not being able to let her comment go-taking in the way her face heated up.
"Well, yeah. Didn't you already know that? I'm not the first person to ever call you hot." Lulu softly giggled.
"You usually don't say anything like that, I'm just surprised that you think about me at all." Johnny admitted with a sad smile.
"Whenever something goes wrong in my life, you're the first person that comes to my mind. I just know it's not my place anymore, you know? To check on you and everything." Lulu sighed, looking down at the carpet.
"That means a lot to me...you have no idea." Johnny shook his head.
"Do you ever...you know-think about those days?" Lulu stutters, wondering if it was a good idea to bring their previous relationship up.
"Of course I do-you were the best thing to ever happen to me. Didn't you know that? You were-a big part of my life." Johnny was amazed, slowly looking over at her anxious form.
"You were a big part of mine, too. I loved every moment with you. You were-you are, the best boyfriend I've ever had." Lulu's voice broke, as she bit her lower lip.
"I was the best? What about Falconeri?" Johnny had a hard time believing her words.
"Dante's just like the rest of them, he's no different. Dante just said pretty words to make me fall than, broke my heart. Logan was a complete mess...than there was you. You always treated me like I was someone that you were proud of-like you wanted us to last. I loved you and you loved me. I haven't ever found a love like ours since...it's been three years and I still love you. I've been fighting myself about it for awhile and, I'm not even sure of saying it will mean anything but-I can't keep my feelings inside a moment longer." Words spilled out of her mouth, her voice continuing to have a sad tone to it.
"I'm so sorry-Falconeri is a prick. That's because you ARE someone to be proud of...you're fucking Lulu Spencer! You're the most vibrant and beautiful woman I've ever known. Without you, my life wouldn't have meant much. Lulu, you still love me? I still love you too-hearing you say those three words will ALWAYS mean something to me. You're an Angel." Johnny slowly smiled, bringing one hand up to caress the side of her face.
"You always make me feel like I'm worth something." Lulu admitted, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.
"You're worth everything, Lu. I'm sorry that you've ever been made to feel you weren't worthy of being loved..." Johnny trails off in disbelief, wiping away the fallen tears.