Welcome back to the Flareness!
Ch. 7 God Says Nothing Back
(FITZ)
"What can I do?" Clare asks in a small, worried voice. She turns her head to look up at me.
"You are doing it," I smile back. I kiss the top of her head and go back to staring at her ceiling.
After my mom announced that she and William were moving in together there was a long awkward moment of us all staring at each other. Then my mom hugged me, told me she loved me and kissed my cheek while I stood there frozen. Mom and William left, when the door closed Clare took my hand and pulled me to my bedroom. She helped me pack a bag quickly and we came to her house. As soon as we were here I brought her to her room. I laid down on her bed on my back and pulled her to lie down with me. She lay down on her side with her head on my chest, I took her hand and interlaced our fingers. We've been lying like that ever since.
They never outright said it but I knew Mom was having an affair. Still, to be confronted with the reality of it was hard. To put a face, the face of someone I know, to this phantom ripping my parent's marriage apart was enraging and hurtful. I know he's not the only reason the marriage broke up. I know that there had to be other issues for Mom to get tempted into a relationship with another man in the first place. I have to wonder though if Mom wasn't in a relationship with another man would she and Dad have tried harder to work things out?
"This is what I need, you in my arms," I tell Clare. She places a soft kiss on my chest, even through my shirt it makes me tingle. Then her stomach growls.
"Sorry," she apologizes quietly.
"No, don't apologize for being hungry. We should have dinner, it's about that time…I think. I've been so lost in my thoughts, I kind of lost track of time," I reply, kissing her temple.
"We can order something," she says, sitting up slowly but keeping hold of my hand.
"I have a better idea, why don't I teach you how to cook," I reply with a grin. Clare smiles back, I sit up and take her lips in a soft kiss before getting off the bed. We go downstairs and I start looking through her fridge and cupboards to see what she has. "How does lemon chicken, rice, and green beans sound?"
"Sounds wonderful," Clare smiles.
I start getting out ingredients and instruct Clare on making the rice while I prep the chicken. I instruct her on the green beans while I get the chicken cooking and tell her what I'm doing and how I'm seasoning things and cooking them. We sit at the table and I know Clare is happy when she smiles and her eyes close after taking the first bite.
"This is amazing Fitz; I can't believe you can cook so well. I mean it, this is restaurant quality," Clare says.
"It's not that hard, chicken and rice is pretty simple, I've done some experimenting with flavors and spices. There were dishes that ended up in the trash. Citrus goes great with chicken, grape jelly not so much," I tell Clare.
She laughs so hard she snorts and has to cover her mouth with her napkin, so food doesn't go all over the table. Now I'm laughing so much I can't eat. For several minutes we sit at the table laughing, we'll stop and look at each other and start laughing again. We laugh so hard we cry, and we're not breathing regularly. Eventually we stop and finish dinner quietly, eating and looking at each other, smiling. We clean up together and get ice cream for dessert putting on a movie. We watch another one, Clare curls her legs up on the sofa and leans into me. Her head on my chest, I put an arm around her, and she drapes an arm over my stomach.
"I guess I'm sleeping in Jake's room?" I comment when the second movie ends.
"Yeah, we better change the sheets though," Clare says. She gets up from the sofa and when she's not touching me anymore I feel a void.
I get up and follow her upstairs to a linen closet, she helps me change the sheets on Jake's bed. She gets a spare pillow and a couple blankets from the same closet. We put all of Jake's bedding on his desk chair. I go into the washroom to brush my teeth and she's coming out of her room as I leave. She's wearing a silky button-up pajama top with long sleeves. There's matching pajama shorts but they don't cover much and almost disappear under the shirt.
"Good night Fitz," she smiles leaning in to kiss me.
"Good night Sugar Kitten," I grin.
She stops leaning in and grimaces at me instead, pinching my side. I smile and snatch her lips for a quick kiss before walking to Jake's room. I get undressed and pull on the pajama pants I brought before turning off the light. I get in the bed and grab my phone, I'm not tired yet so I start playing games. Eventually my eyes get tied and I put the phone down.
I close my eyes trying to sleep but the first thing to come to my mind is Mom with William. Without even realizing it tears are streaming down my cheeks. I sit up in the bed, bringing my knees up, my arms resting on them, my head hanging and tears falling to the bed. I can't seem to stop; my sobbing gets harder and louder. I don't hear the door open, but I do feel when Clare gets on the bed and puts her arm around me, her head on my shoulder.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Clare asks after a moment.
I sit up and wipe my eyes, lean back against the wall because Jake has no headboard. I pull Clare into my arms and kiss the top of her head. "I would, but I'm not even sure why I'm crying."
"You remember me right after my dad walked out. I would burst into tears constantly; it could be something small or sometimes nothing at all. It'll probably be like that for a while, your whole world has been rocked and turned upside down. I always felt so bad when I was with you and Owen, and I'd start crying. Most of the time I didn't know why, or I couldn't put it into words."
"I always felt bad that I couldn't do more to cheer you up. I hated seeing tears in those beautiful eyes. I wanted to hold you, to comfort you, but you were Owen's girlfriend, so all I could do was try and make you smile."
"You did, Owen would always hold me, it was comforting but thinking back you were usually the one to get me to smile. If not smile then you'd distract me. I thought I wouldn't have made it through that time if not for Owen, but really it was both of you. If you need to talk, even if you're just angry and need to vent, I'm here," Clare says. She lays a soft kiss on my chest, with no shirt on I feel her lips on my skin and a tingling rush races through my body. My dick twitches and is getting hard, I'm distracted now by naughty thoughts of Clare.
"I'm okay, you should get back to bed," I tell her.
"No, I want to be here with you," Clare says nuzzling into me more.
In the back of my mind a small voice tells me to push her away. My heart soars at her words and my arms tighten around her. We stay up talking for hours, falling asleep wrapped in each other and happy.
(CLARE)
"I need a job," I remark as we climb into Jake's truck Monday morning, "I need my own car."
"Don't like riding to school with me?" Jake asks.
"It's not that, I can't rely on you for rides, you have your own life. Fitz can't always drive me around either. Besides without the school paper I need something else to do in the afternoons when Fitz starts track and field next month."
"It would probably be good for you to have your own car. Not that I mind driving you around or letting you borrow the truck. Having your own money would be good too. Have you talked to your mom?"
"Don't need to, she'll be thrilled, anything where I show my maturity and responsibility is okay with her. I have to find a job though, that might be the hardest part."
When we park at school I see Fitz's car is already here. I woke up in his arms Saturday morning and it was a wonderful feeling. We got up and made breakfast together, took turns showering and spent a quiet day at my house, mostly watching movies. We made sandwiches for lunch and made dinner together again. We stayed up late watching movies, but Saturday night we fell asleep and stayed in separate beds. I did miss sleeping in Fitz's arms.
Sunday morning we just had cereal for breakfast. We had to clean up and get Jake's room back together before my parents and Jake got home. Our parents still don't know that Fitz stayed the night. I don't know what Fitz told his parents, but I doubt it was that he was spending the weekend at my house unsupervised. Jake asked how the weekend went and I told him it was fantastic, and it was. Even though Fitz was upset over his parents and would get melancholy from time to time. Sunday he kissed me goodbye before leaving but I haven't talked to him since yesterday. I find him at his locker and greet him with a chaste kiss.
"How are you?" I ask him.
"Okay," he shrugs. He doesn't sound okay, and I want to ask him if last night at home was hard. Movement down the hall catches our eye and we look down to see Owen at the end of the hall. "I could use my best friend right now," Fitz says.
A wave of guilt hits me, I bite my lip and look at the ground. My stomach is sinking to the spot of the floor I keep staring at. Fitz puts his fingers under my chin and forces me to look at him.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"For what? You didn't do anything Clare," Fitz replies.
"It's because of me you don't have your best friend. Half the football team and all of the hockey team hate you."
"Yes, but half the football team and everyone in track and field is on our side. I could use my best friend, but Owen is the one that made it a fight. This isn't your fault Clare," Fitz says. He leans down and kisses me gently; we're just deepening the kiss when he's bumped into, and our kiss is broken.
"Watch it you imbecilic cretins," I snap at the hockey players that bumped into Fitz.
"Ignore them, I'll walk you to class," Fitz comments, putting his arm around my shoulders.
I take one last opportunity to glare at the hockey players before we disappear around the corner. Fitz walks me to class and kisses me at the door. This time we're not bumped into, I go in and sit down at my desk. Adam comes in a couple minutes later, smiling at me as he sits at his desk.
"I don't understand how Owen and the hockey guys can be so cruel," I huff.
"My brother says it's because Fitz broke the bro code," Adam replies.
"The what?"
"Don't date your best friend's girl," Adam replies, "well actually, something like bros before ho's but that sounds a lot worse."
"That's stupid, and the second one is insulting. Fitz has been in love with me since October, and he never did or said anything until after Owen and I broke up. When Owen cheated I was crushed, Fitz was the one person to really make me feel better, to make me feel safe. I fell for him; you can't help who you like and for Owen and the other small, minded males to freeze Fitz out and bump him in the hallway is just so…so…ugh!"
"Boy problems?" Alli questions.
"They're idiots, with a few exceptions," I comment looking at Adam and he smiles.
"Jenna and I are having lunch at The Dot, you and Fitz should eat with us," Adam says.
"Thanks, I'll ask him next period, as long as none of the hockey team is there."
When the bell does ring for second period Adam and I walk to class together. Fitz is already in class; he smiles when he sees me, and I sit at the table. This week is all about having a baby, or finally getting your adopted one, and life with a newborn. New packets, with a surprise or two for everyone, and new reports due on Friday. I ask Fitz about eating at The Dot, but make sure to keep my voice low, so Owen doesn't hear. He nods and when the lunch bell rings we walk to The Dot with Adam and Jenna. Drew and Bianca are also here, and they sit with us.
"You coming over to work on our stuff for parenting/life econ class after school?" Fitz asks me as we begin eating.
"Actually, thought I would job hunt after school. I need a car of my own, and it couldn't hurt to have some spending money. I can't always borrow the truck or rely on you and Jake for rides."
"Okay, I'll take you job hunting after school, but I don't mind picking you up and driving you around," Fitz remarks before kissing my temple.
"You may not have to hunt for one. I decided I needed a job and went looking this weekend. Basketball season will be over soon, and our parents only agreed to pay my car expenses through basketball season. I was at the mall yesterday and got a job at the cell phone kiosk. There was also a little shop that has gelato, espresso, and gifts from Italy, they had a help wanted sign up," Drew tells me.
"Good idea, we'll hit the mall after school, if you don't get a job at the Italian shop I'm sure the theater or a clothing store is hiring. The mall is mostly staffed by teenagers," Fitz comments.
"Thanks Drew," I smile, and he smiles back.
"I'll pick you up from fourth period, since you no longer have newspaper," Fitz says.
We finish lunch and walk back to school. I find Jake and tell him I'm going with Fitz after school, but he already figured I would be. Fitz meets me after school, and we drive to the mall. I find the shop Drew was talking about, just around the corner from the kiosk I believe he'll be working at. It's called Taste of Italia, it's an adorable little shop. It has three small bistro tables and is lined with shelves with all sorts of food from Italy. In the back is an espresso machine with the little cups and an ice cream counter with eight varieties of gelato. There's also a few baked good, Italian cookies, tiramisu, and things like that.
Chiara, the woman that owns the shop, is very sweet and after a very short interview says I have a job. She says I can start Wednesday after school and she'll put me on two afternoon shifts and one weekend shift. I give her my email and she says she'll email me the paperwork and I can bring it on Wednesday.
"I think we should celebrate, let's have dinner at the Indian place down the street before we go to my house," Fitz remarks as we leave the mall.
"That sounds wonderful," I grin.
We have a wonderful dinner and return to Fitz's house. His dad is working, and we get nothing done for school tonight because we end up making out on his bed. Fitz gets me home in time for curfew. I tell my family about the job and Mom is thrilled, Jake says he'll pick me up or I can take the truck if Fitz can't take me and pick me up. I get my homework done and shower before going to bed. When we get to school the next morning I don't see Fitz's car yet, so I go inside to my locker. As I'm setting books in my locker arms wrap around me from behind and my cheek is kissed.
"Good morning Peaches," Fitz smiles. I grimace at him for the pet name but kiss his cheek.
"Will you stop those," I groan.
"Yeah, when I run out. You coming over after school? We can spend at least two hours making out on my bed before we get to our work for class," Fitz grins.
"Yes, I'll be over after school," I giggle, "especially since I have to work tomorrow."
"Yeah, but I can take you and hang out, we can get some stuff done when you're not busy I'm sure. Walk you to class?" Fitz asks.
I smile and he puts his arm around me. He walks me to class and kisses me at the door. Adam and K.C. are already in class and I tell them about my job. We're still talking about it when a couple girls come in.
"I heard Owen punched Fitz in the hallway because he heard Fitz and Clare were alone at his house in his bed last night," one of them says.
"I can't believe she left Owen for Fitz," the other comments.
Neither one seems to care that I'm in class. I'm more worried that Fitz got hit by Owen, I want to find out, but Mr. Perino comes in and starts class. Waiting on the bell for second period seems to take forever. When it does finally ring I jump up and run out of class. Adam follows me but we make it there before Owen or Fitz. Owen is the next one in; Fitz isn't with him. Owen looks at me, and looks away. He goes to sit at his table, but I march over to him, I am not letting this slide.
"Did you hit Fitz?" I ask him with a hand on my hip. He doesn't answer so I grab his arm and force him to look at me. "I'm serious Owen, this is ridiculous, you're breaking up a friendship because Fitz and I are together? Will you stop acting like a child and make up with your best friend?" My voice is tight and angry, but this feud is ludicrous and I've had enough.
"As long as you two are together he and I can't be friends," Owen replies as he rips his arm away from me. I narrow my eyes at Owen, I want to scream or maybe hit him. I'm about to when Adam grabs me and pulls me away.
"Screaming at Owen isn't going to do anything. He's angry right now, let's just hope Owen comes to his senses," Adam comments. I don't think Owen will, but Fitz and Jenna come into class. Fitz doesn't look like he has any bruises and I'm so happy to see him I go over and throw my arms around his neck. I greet him with a soft kiss and pull him to our table.
"If I'd known you'd be that happy to see me I would've come in several minutes ago," Fitz grins as we sit down.
"I heard Owen hit you, that he heard we were alone in your bed," I tell him.
"You know how rumor spreads Clare," Fitz replies.
"Then, it isn't true?"
"I think he overheard my comment to you at your locker. He confronted me outside of class and shoved me. He's angry, he's never handled anger well. He'll cool off, until then just try and ignore him," Fitz says.
Ignoring Owen is easier said than done. He continues to glare at us in class. Fitz and I eat lunch alone, but when we come back Owen and the hockey team seem to have escalated their hassling. They don't do anything to me, other than breaking us apart when we kiss. They aren't shy about shoving past Fitz in the hallway though, calling him names and other childish things. Fitz tells me to ignore them, but it's getting harder and harder.
I think about Owen and the hockey goons all day. The only time I stop is when I'm alone with Fitz at his house after school and we're making out on his bed. We do actually get some work done for parenting/life econ class tonight. I help Fitz cook dinner and his dad comes home while we're eating. He says hi but he looks defeated and sort of beaten down, it's really sad. Fitz's mood definitely shifts after his dad comes home. After we clean up from dinner Fitz takes me home. He walks me to the door and kisses me goodnight, but I can see that his father's mood is affecting him.
I go inside, shower and finish the rest of my homework. I sleep very restlessly though as my mind is thinking about Fitz and Owen. When I see Fitz at school the next day he seems okay, he smiles and pulls me into his arms giving me a lingering, passionate kiss. He keeps his smile until we walk past a few of the guys talking about the March Break trip. I see Fitz tense slightly, his face falling. I pull him around the corner and into an empty classroom.
"This is stupid, you need Owen right now and you should be going on that trip! You helped organize it, you paid your share a…" I'm abruptly cut off when he smashes his lips to mine.
"It would be nice to have my best friend back, but I don't need him, or a trip and I don't care about the money. All I need, all I care about is you," Fitz says.
Before I can argue he kisses me again and we continue kissing until the bell rings. I know what he says, but I don't know if I believe him. He refuses to talk about it anymore for the rest of the day. After school Fitz takes me to the mall and comes in with me.
"Welcome Clare, if you come to the back with me I'll show you where to put your stuff. This is Anabelle, she's staying just long enough for me to go over some stuff with you. You two will work together on occasion but mostly you'll be coming just as she's leaving," Chiara says when I come in.
"Nice to meet you Anabelle," I smile.
"You too Clare," she replies returning the smile.
"Do you mind if I hang out and do homework? I'm taking Clare home, I'll buy some ice cream, and coffee," Fitz comments. Chiara met him on Monday when he brought me and I interviewed.
"Not at all Fitz, I only ask if we get customers that want to use all the tables you go to the food court or something. You are more than welcome to hang out and keep Clare company as long as we're not busy. Come Clare, I'll take you to the back and show you where you can put stuff, how to clock in and everything," Chiara says.
I follow her to the back where she shows me how to clock in and where to put my stuff. There's a sofa back here we can use on our breaks. There's also a fridge and a door to the storeroom, the washroom, and a tiny office. We're back there about ten minutes, I give her all my paperwork, stash my stuff, she gives me the tour. When we go back to the front Anabelle leaves and Chiara says there is a way for us to get in and out through the back.
Fitz is my first order, he gets chocolate gelato, and we make him an espresso so Chiara can train me on using the machine. Fitz sits down to do his homework, the first hour is Chiara showing me everything about the front. Making espresso, where to put the dirty dishes, how to ring people up, what's in the small bakery case and what's on the shelves. She shows me the computer system and tells me she'll show me how to order later.
Then she goes on a short break, when she's back she sends me on a short break. It's just long enough for Fitz and I to get dinner from the food court and eat quickly. We don't talk over dinner but I'm happy he's here with me.
I'm there for four hours and only five customers come in, but it is a newer store. Chiara is okay with Fitz hanging out any time and says she doesn't mind if I'm on my phone if there's no customers in the shop. I help her close up and then leave with Fitz. As we're walking out of the mall we see Owen with some others, looks like they bought some stuff for the March Break trip. I also see the pained look in Fitz's eyes when he sees Owen. I bite my lip feeling overtaken by guilt again.
"Maybe we should talk to Owen together, make him understand," I comment when Fitz pulls up to my house.
"He's angry Clare, he won't listen, he'll turn it on us. I've known Owen a long time, when he's this angry he's impossible. He's always come around in the past, we just have to hope he does so now. Are you coming over tomorrow after school? We haven't gotten much done for parenting/life econ."
"Yeah, I'll come over tomorrow," I smile.
"Good, Dad is going out with friends, I'll make us dinner," Fitz grins and captures my lips.
When he breaks the kiss he runs around to my side opening my door and helping me out. He walks me to the door and kisses me again. I feel Fitz's lips on mine for the rest of the night. I'm happy but in the back of my mind I'm thinking about Fitz and Owen and their friendship. I finish my homework and shower before going to bed. Fitz, Owen and their friendship stay on my mind the rest of the night, in fact I'm thinking of it as I fall asleep.
(FITZ)
"Hi Pretty Eyes," I greet Clare at her locker Thursday morning. I wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss her temple.
"Hi," she says but doesn't sound happy. She doesn't even look at me, I release her from my arms and turn her around. Tipping her chin up so that her eyes will meet mine I search them. She's sad, worried and she's tired.
"What's wrong?" I question.
"I just didn't sleep, I'm going to class," she says trying to get away from me, but I grab her hand.
"I'll walk you to class," I tell her.
She doesn't argue so I put my arm around her, and we walk down the hall. As soon as she sees Owen and the hockey team at the end of the hall she stops walking. I look at her, stepping in front of her to block her view of Owen and the others.
"Actually, I have to use the washroom first, I'll see you next period," she comments while slipping from my arm and running to the washroom.
I sigh and walk to my locker to get out some books. I'm crouching down at my backpack I set on the floor when it gets kicked. I know it's the hockey team, so I ignore it. When I stand up they walk down the hall again, bumping into me and calling me backstabber. I continue to ignore them, and then one shoves me into the locker while I'm trying to close it. I slam the door shut and clench my fists, turning around ready to fight.
"Is there a problem boys?" Coach Armstrong asks. He's standing a few feet away with his arms crossed firmly across his chest.
"NO SIR," the team barks all at once and leaves the hallway.
"You alright Fitz?" Coach Armstrong asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I nod.
"Try outs for track and field start in a couple weeks, I'll need your help with some of the new guys," Coach Armstrong says clapping a hand on my shoulder.
"Happy to help Sir," I grin back.
We walk together to class; Owen and I both have math for homeroom. He looks at me and then looks away. All of class feels tense because Owen is just glaring at me, and I can feel it. I leave class first and head straight to second period, I'm the first one in the room. Clare and Adam are next. I ask if Clare's still coming over after school and she nods. We eat lunch with Adam and Jenna, Clare barely says anything. Adam and I both ask her what's wrong and she says she's just tired because she didn't sleep.
I walk her to class after lunch and then I don't see her until school is out. When we get home and go up to my room I expect her to talk to me or say something instead she kisses me. I fall back onto my bed with her in my lap and we make out on my bed for more than an hour. Then we get some work done but she's quiet again, and half the time she looks like she's on the brink of tears. I wish she'd talk to me, but every time I try she says she's tired or changes the subject. When my stomach growls I decide it's time for dinner. We go downstairs and I start pulling out ingredients for dinner.
"We can't do this Fitz," she says suddenly. She was chopping vegetables, but she stops now.
"Dinner?" I question while I continue to make the sauce I was making.
"No, us. Owen hates us, because of me you lost your best friend, and the majority of the football and hockey teams hate you."
"We've been through this," I comment, setting the whisk into the bowl and turning to her. "I don't need them or that trip over march break, I'd rather spend it with you. You have a job now; you won't be going anywhere for March break, and I want to be where you are."
"I know you keep saying that, but you don't have your best friend at the time you need him most. What if Owen doesn't get over it as long as we're together? Can you really go all year and next without Owen? You say you love me now, but you'll grow to resent me for ruining your friendship," she says. Her voice cracks with anxiety and sorrow. I step closer and tip her chin up forcing her to look at me.
"I could never resent you Clare," I tell her. I lean in to kiss her but she turns her head away.
"You say that now, but you will, you told me so," she sobs.
"When did I do that?" I question taking a step back from her.
"In my dream last night."
"Okay, well dream me sounds like an ass, but I could never resent you," I reply. I try to kiss her again, but again she turns away.
"I'm serious Fitz, I won't be responsible for ending a friendship you've had for most of your life. I never should have told you how I feel. I should have let you date Marisol or whoever and at least you'd still have Owen. I'd rather have you as a friend than have you grow to hate me, I couldn't live with that."
"Clare, I won't hate y…" I start but she cuts me off.
"You will! You did, I can't handle that Fitz, having your friendship is better than nothing at all," she says and then she runs out the door. It slams shut and I'm left there bewildered and wondering if she really just broke up with me over a dream.
I no longer feel hungry, and I put away what we prepped. It's not until I get upstairs that I realize that Clare left her purse, phone, and backpack here. Since I don't really want to drive around trying to find her I text Jake.
Me: Clare left her stuff here including her phone. I'd drop it off but I don't think she wants to see me and I don't know where she is.
Jake: I'll be over in a few.
He replied right away, so he was probably home doing homework and may see her on his way over. I gather all her stuff and take it downstairs. When Jake knocks on the door I open it and hand him Clare's things.
"Do I want to know?" Jake asks.
"I think she broke up with me because of a dream," I reply.
"If it were anyone else but Clare I wouldn't believe it, but yeah that sounds like her. You want me to talk to her?"
"No, she'll probably just give you the same answer she gave me. Maybe she'll come to her senses, or Owen will and then she will realize it was stupid," I reply.
Jake gives me a sympathetic smile before leaving. There was nothing for him to say. I grab a tub of ice cream and my dad's whiskey and go up to my room. Tomorrow at school should be interesting.