Please note, this is a crossposted fic from AO3, so updates will be sporadic as I'll use the other website as the fanfiction site of priority. Fanfiction dot net is really clunky.
Today was a really bad day for Zim.
Like, nothing in his life could ever top what happened today. Because today, he has been almost uncovered as an alien, and that because he wasn't being careful enough.
While getting some supplies for Ms. Bitters from an old shed in the school's backyard, his wig got caught in a badly placed knob at the Skool's backyard entryway, causing it to get pulled off, which on itself wouldn't have been a huge problem, if not that sitting against the wall right in front of him was a human worm baby. He panicked, causing him to almost activate his self-destruct button, before realizing that something was wrong with the human.
After careful examination it became quickly oblivious that the human worm baby was currently on some psychoactive natural substance called the 'weed' by older human smeets, so he just started laughing out loudly stating repeatedly, "Yo, this stuff is hard dude."
This left him with two new experiences this day: He should fix the wig better onto his head and watch more out for the environment. Else he's going to get into the same trouble again... and probably then his luck wouldn't be on his side anymore…
Oh, his luckiness. He could easily say that he had been uncharacteristically lucky that this didn't happen in the school's hallway or outside under all the adult Urthlings.
Luckily enough after this shameful incident the Skool's bells ringed soon, finally allowing him to leave this Irk-forsaken place as quickly as possible.
So here he still was, living, going back to his base now, dissatisfied with everything, looking at the grey sky in absolute dread.
He just could not stop thinking about it... he almost self-destructed... due to him not being attentive enough! Also, now thinking of it, he almost self-destructed even though he could just have gotten rid of the human by killing it!
Zim angrily closed his eyes. Irk, was he stupid. What was going on with him. This just wasn't him and his greatness he was used to.
Suddenly a small thud sounded below him. Zim, cracked his eyes open, stopped and looked down, seeing that he accidentally kicked into an old, rusty can before him. What a perfect way to describe how he felt. Like an old, rusty can.
As much as nothing could top today, there was still so much wrong with the past few days.
First of all, where should he start? Oh yeah, his newest plan was an absolute failure, leaving his laboratory in ash and rubble. And how long did it take to repair? 4 days. 4 important days without any good progress.
Secondly, all of his robot minions have been awfully annoying lately: GIR has been incredibly disobedient (more than usual, at least), his AI was the most sarcastic since never and Minimoose was for some odd reason constantly pestering him about everything.
And then, who could forget, there was the Dib-worm. He was pestered by that filthy Dib so much this week. You could even say that Dib was literally his own shadow. Oh Irk, he could still hear the Dib's voice in his antenna asking, 'What are you doing Zim? Is this something for invading earth?' D'oh, he was so annoying!
Zim cringed up at the memories and kicked the can onto the road, looking at it as it was compressed by a driving-by car, thinking melancholic about how much his past few years here on Urth sucked. Because as much as he never wanted to admit it, he had to: Invading wasn't fun no more. It has gotten way too repetitive and boring.
Also, Urth was never a fun planet to begin with. The polluted acidic rain wasn't a fun experience and going to Skool was like straight out jumping into a black hole of pure stupidity.
But mainly, even if Urth wasn't such a bummer, reporting empty promises to the Tallest wasn't fun no more. He simply couldn't stand spitting his failures into their faces anymore, even if they never seemed bothered and were even admittedly weirdly cheery about it.
"Ey, kid! Move! You're blocking the whole path!" barked a pedestrian behind his back angrily, making him snap out of his thoughts. He somberly started moving again, looking at the grey clouds dancing up in the sky. If he could just fly away and never come back here... but that was an unattainable wish right now. He was stuck on Urth until he didn't invade it successfully.
He almost thought that nothing could give him comfort. But there was a small glimmer of hope; It was finally Friday, so he wouldn't have to see the Dib-worm for two Urthian days. Also, he almost made it back to his base.
As he slowly moved along, his antennae picked some footsteps up, and that incredibly familiar footsteps. He stopped again, carefully listening to the small thuds on the ground. It sounded like it was that pathetic Dib spying on him again.
Zim turned his head around and just as expected, Dib was smugly walking behind him. The stupid worm-baby didn't even try to hide from him this time, he was completely in sight, holding his camera and filming him.
Zim rolled his eyes. Hobby-less fool. No wonder everyone thinks he's crazy. What if he wasn't an invader, but just a measly little worm-baby? Would he still follow him around or something?
But not like he cared about him, at least this time. He was way to demotivated to fight the little creep now. Zim started to move forwards again.
And at least he hadn't had to worry about the Dib anymore, because he had finally reached his base, giving him the little privacy he absolutely deserved. But first, he had to walk next to the neighboring house.
Zim took his pace up and quickly walked along the brick-colored building.
Out of the window, he saw a baby staring at him. It was no simple human smeet though, this was an alien.
He quickly shielded the window out with his hand, him always disliking looking into the drilling eyes of the tiny alien. Why in Irk had that human smeet looking alien thingy (whatever his name was... Shnooky, he believed?) look at him like that every single time he walked past here? It made him always so uncomfortable.
He walked quickly along the house. He went through his garden, approaching his door.
Zim smiled up. Only a few steps to salvation.
But just before he entered, he wanted to give Dib some of his own mind. So, he turned around one final time and shouted, "DIB! STOP FOLLOWING ME!" and with that, turned around again stomped inside, slamming the door behind him with a loud thud.
He quickly removed his wig and lens, enjoying the fresh air touching his head and eyes.
Zim looked across the entrance of his base, inspecting everything. Everything seemed normal, with GIR being in the kitchen, loudly doodling for himself and guessing from the piquant smell waving through the room probably cooking on something.
He started yelling out loudly, "GIR! Come here!"
Loud shattering of some plates could be heard and the friendly metallic voice of his robot greeted him, "Mastah, you're home!"
GIR came up running with two unfilled taco shells in his hands, happily asking, "What is it, mastah?"
"GIR, listen, this is important! Do not let the Dib today into the base. I need some space from that annoying filthy little worm-baby. Do you understand?"
"Not letting MARY in here? But why mastah?" "Didn't you hear me? Destroy him if he dares to step in here!" GIR's eyes turned red, saluted Zim and he thundered up, "Yes master!" but then as fast as he got serious, his eyes turned back into their original cyan color, and he started running into the kitchen, doodling loudly again.
If he wouldn't have been so tired, he would have probably checked up on the situation in the kitchen, but Zim didn't find enough energy right now to care about GIR's antics. All he wanted was just wanted to retreat into his base and start with some planning for a new scheme.
He quickly went and flushed himself down the toilet to the lower levels of his base, then swiftly made his way to his favorite working bench in a cozier room of the base.
Zim sat down at his desk, overlooking some blueprints from possible projects. But as much as he looked, the more he wasn't happy with himself. Due to his countless tries, he had started to tap into every single idea existing and slowly started developing problems inventing new plans.
His eyes finally fell onto a blueprint that looked promising, but he needed the laboratory for that one.
"Computer, how long will it still take until the damage in the laboratory gets fully repaired?" he asked his computer.
"5 hours," replied the AI.
"5 hours? What in Irk's name is taking so long?!" "The damage is big, duh."
Zim sighed up. Typical behavior of his Computer these days.
"Then I guess I'll have to wait…" "Well, yeah."
He was such a bad waiter, though. That's the one thing that he'll admit about himself. It didn't take for long until he got bored out of his mind. It seemed like time has slowed down.
He had done everything he could to entertain himself but at the end he had to ask how much time was left.
"Computer! How much time is left?" he asked the Computer impatiently.
"Let me check... bip bup bup... 4.5 hours," replied the Computer passive-aggressively. Zim groaned up in response, "What am I going to do in 4 and a half hours?" "Do invader stuff, or maybe upgrade your defense grid."
Zim looked annoyed up, loudly stating, "Irk, that helped me a lot, thank you very much." "You're welcome."
Afterwards, Zim didn't know how long he sat there. He even somewhat nicked in, when a warning from the Computer came loudly booming through the room, "Incoming transmission from the Massive."
He jolted up and asked surprised, "Oh, what? Are the Tallest calling?" "No, it's an unknown caller," replied the Computer.
An unknown caller from the Massive? Who in Irk would call an invader base in top secret around this time?
"Let the call trough, Computer!" A screen popped up with the mysterious caller. Zim's eyes widened, jumped up and saluted at the sight of the lrken that was standing there... It was Tallest Red!
"Hello Zim," he said with a husky voice. "My Tallest! What a pleasant surprise for getting a call right now, especially anonymously? I will tell you my amazing plan right now..."
Red hastily interrupted Zim, "Shush Zim, I'm not calling because of your invasion plans. I have... let's say... a surprise here for you. So why don't you come over and get it?" Zim peeked up at that, replying with a real pride in his voice, "Eh, of course my Tallest, but tell me, What did Zim do so amazing to deserve a personal surprise from the Tallest?"
"Shut up Zim. Just come over in... let's say... in more or less in 2 hours, ok?" responded the crimson Tallest back annoyed.
Zim believed he could hear quiet snickering in the background, but he ignored it and exclaimed happily, "Of course, my Tallest! I am on the way." Red rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever... just don't be too late," then without saying goodbye, he signed off.
"Computer? How long does the repairs still take?" "Around 3 hours."
Zim couldn't feel but happy. Finally, something good happened to him at least. This activity will bring just the right entertainment into his tedious week. He could get the surprise, come back and right away start with his new plan for the Irken invasion. Then he would make the two Tallest proud.
He sprang up, walking quickly towards his hangar. On the way there, he came across loud noises from a television in a nearby room, with GIR's loudly giggling mixed under.
Of course, he almost forgot about informing his robotic assistant about his approaching absence.
"GIR! I will be gone for some time, so don't let the Dib-worm into the base, understood?" He could hear a faint 'Yes master', but it quickly got over-drowned by the loud laughing track coming from the television.
He made his way to his hangar, approaching his voot-cruiser with uttermost quickness.
He sat into the old spacecraft and started it. A platform slowly pushed him and his voot-cruiser upwards, trough the upper base and trough the opened roof.
He shot directly up, flying out of Urth's atmosphere in a mere 30 seconds, entering space with ease.
"Locate the Massive," commanded Zim the ship's AI, onto which the AI quickly responded, "Massive located. Route calculated. Estimated trip length 2 hours." "Good. Set route."
This was perfect. The exact time his gracious Tallest wanted. Zim leaned back as he watched the stars floating by.
He'll soon be there, retrieve his surprise, come back, and start right away with his amazing plan. Nothing less, nothing more.
Please if you have anything to critique, don't be shy. But please remember, up to chapter 6 I cannot implement big changes well as it has already been prewritten.