Burke found her in the little hole she called her room, cleaning her rifle.
He leaned in the doorframe, waiting for her to look up or acknowledge him in any way, but she kept her gaze stubbornly on the weapon; perhaps pushing the brush down the barrel a bit too forcefully.
"I heard about your comrade," he finally said. Katlin didn't answer, just stabbed at her weapon once more. Burke sat down beside her and picked up one of the flannel rags. "I-"
Katlin held up her hand to stop him. "Don't say it." She took the rag out of his hand and stuffed it into the barrel. "No 'I'm so sorry for your loss', or 'I grieve with you', or-"
"'s not what I was gonna say," Burke said softly.
She still refused to look at him, keeping her gaze on her hands, the rags, the gun, anywhere but him. "So what were you going to say?"
"I'm worried for my friend," Burke said, and watched her hand tearing at the flannel, winding it into a rope, tighter and tighter, until he plucked it from her fingers. "No, scratch that - I'm scared shitless."
She picked up another rag and began to wind it up again.
Talk to me, Katlin! "Were you close?"
"He was my husband's brother." She stared at the wall across the room, gripping the barrel with both hands as if it was a lifeline. "He killed the ape that clubbed Evan to death, and vanished into the Forbidden Zone. A year later he knocked at my window at night... he looked terrible, starved, and with an infected leg... but he had a fire in his eyes that I'd never seen before."
She turned to him, her own eyes bright with tears. "Hope. He finally had hope. You wonder why we're all following Gres, why we're willing to die for him... It's because he gives us the most precious gift of all - hope."
"Hope is a liar, many believe her," Burke said with a wry smile on his lips, "but man's deceiver was never mine."
Katlin frowned. "Are you quoting one of the apes' scrolls at me?"
Burke sighed. "No. No, it's a human poem, by someone who discovered that hope isn't a gift."
"Then what else is it?"
"A bait."
Kaitlin shook her head. "You know that's not true. Don't tell me you have no hopes... no dreams..."
Well, he was hoping that Urko wouldn't find them, and that they would reach those mountains, and that the stories about the City's reach ending there were true, so maybe he shouldn't preach about getting one's hopes up. But that didn't mean he'd ever agree with Katlin on Gres and his lies.
"I was thinking about what you said earlier," he said instead. "That we don't get to choose if we take part in a war or not. And I guess you were right: we really don't get to choose. And as a human, you don't even get to choose which side to be on.
"But there's things we do get to choose - like who we ally with. Or how dirty we're willing to fight." He leaned over and caught her wrist. "Don't tell me you're okay with Gres killing that girl."
She yanked her hand back and he let go. "No, I'm not okay with it. Are you done?"
He stared at her, willing her to meet his eyes. "Help me to get her home."
She ground her teeth. "Do you really think the prefect would pardon me if I did? Or that Gres wouldn't send his whole army after me?"
"No. But I still think you'd prefer that to being an accessory to murder."
Katlin let her hand drop into her lap and took a deep breath. "I thought I was... we were fighting for a better future, Pete. And that all those sacrifices we're making were the price we had to pay... all those losses. All the little compromises. And then the big ones. I did some pretty... I did things I'm not proud of. And I've stepped over so many lines that I don't know where I stand anymore."
Burke resisted the temptation to put his arm around her shoulder. "I know there are a lot of assholes roaming these corridors," he said, and she even laughed a little at that, "but Lora ain't one of them. She fully believes in human-simian equality. I mocked her in that underground hole of yours, but if anyone deserves your loyalty, it's her, not Gres."
"There are others like her," Katlin finally looked into his eyes, "many others - Kuma is the exception, not the rule. Gres thought we'd need people like him, people who don't hesitate to kill when it's necessary, but..." She shrugged.
"Yeah, I don't like him, either," Burke said dryly.
Katlin bit her lip and carefully selected another rag.
Burke waited patiently.
"What do you need?" she asked after a long pause.
"Horses for Zana and Lora, and a way to keep Gres from following them," Burke said promptly.
Katlin frowned. "What about you?"
"I'm human, remember? We don't ride." For once, he didn't need to fib. "Don't worry, I'll find a way home, too. But Lora needs to be in town before they bash Al's head in." He refused to let the image take form in his mind.
Katlin studied his face for a moment. "I'll talk to my people," she said finally. "They're frightened - they think Gres is pushing us into a war we can't win."
"He wants that escalation," Burke confirmed.
"We'll provide your diversion," Katlin said, "and I'll take the women to the stables. I still think you should go with them, Pete... Gres will kill you for this."
"He'll kill us both, if he can," Burke said. "So we better make sure he doesn't catch us, eh?"
The gun thumped on the floor as she grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him fiercely. Thoughts of gun accidents flashed through Burke's mind for a second, lit up and crumbled to ashes, burnt away by the sensation of Katlin's lips on his, her hot hands on his jaw, his neck, the taste of her in his mouth as he tried to kiss her back-
He hadn't fantasized about kissing her before, but if he had, it would've been a different kiss - slower, deeper; gentler. She was kissing him goodbye, he realized.
She released him just as suddenly. "Now go, get that girl," she said, breathless. "I'll catch up to you."
Burke stumbled to his feet, his body tingling. Right now, he was willing to let Lora meditate about her foolishness for a little while longer... but Zana was also in danger. There just was no time for... with a sigh, he turned to the door.
He was already halfway in the corridor when Katlin called him back once more. Her eyes were dark in the dim light of her room.
"Don't you dare to die out there!"
During her Community Work Year, Zana had learned to meditate; now she wished she'd maintained the practice - maybe she'd have been able to calm her racing heart then. And calm her shaking hands, too: this was the third time she missed the lock. Constantly looking over her shoulder to see if someone caught her bent down before Lora's jail door was also costing precious time, but Mothers, she just couldn't help it! Every time she turned her back to the corridor, the spot between her shoulder blades began to itch and urged her to check that she still hadn't been detected.
She wished Peet had taken over this lock-picking job himself; the human was quick like a racoon! But Peet was off to convince that human lieutenant to help them, and Zana just didn't know the woman as well as he did, and there was the species barrier - no, they couldn't have traded places. With a sigh, she tried it again. It had looked so easy when Peet had shown her...
"Here, let me help you." A weight fell on her neck and in the next moment, a blinding pain cracked through her skull and stars exploded before her eyes. As she crumpled to the ground, she thought with dazed wonder that it was true, it really looked like exploding fireworks...
... and then the pain swelled until she thought her head would explode just like those rockets, blooming into a bright red all over the corridor.
She was aware that her attacker had grabbed her collar and was dragging her across the floor, but the sensation was dim, overpowered by the intense pain and the feeling that hot liquid was flowing down the top of her skull.
Then everything went dark.
It took her a moment to realize that she hadn't fainted, but was lying in a unlit room. Somewhere in the darkness, someone was sobbing. For a moment, Zana just lay there, wishing to pass out for real just to escape her headache, but then her sense of responsibility kicked in, and she rolled onto her belly and drew her knees under her.
Alright, now you just have to push up until your head is above your neck, where it belongs.
The pain exploded anew when she realigned her body and for a moment she thought she'd throw up. She breathed slowly through her nose until the nausea subsided.
"Lo..." She cleared her throat. "Lora? Is that you?"
The sobs became louder, but the girl neither moved nor answered.
"Lora, please. Don't make me come over to you."
"So you can gloat?"
Her headache made it impossible to roll her eyes. "I could do that comfortably from over here, but no - our situation is too serious for gloating. I'm locked in here with you, if you hadn't noticed."
Lora sobbed harder. Zana held her skull together with both hands.
"Lora, please - you'll only make yourself sick. Don't cry; Peet will get us both out of here." Mothers, she hoped so!
The girl still didn't answer, but the sobs subsided. Then Zana felt Lora's arms around her, her hands feeling for her skull. "I'd like to ask you how many fingers you see, but it's too dark for that. Do you feel dizzy, or nauseous, or..."
"Yes," Zana said dryly. "Whoever that was rammed my head against the wall. I also have a splitting headache, in case you were wondering."
"That was Kuma." A short pause, then, "I'm sorry, Zana, for yelling at you earlier."
That's what you're sorry for? She reached out and patted Lora's shoulder. "That's alright. Don't think of it anymore."
"I can't think of anything else," Lora said, her voice thick with tears. "I always swore I'd sacrifice anything for the cause, and now that I'm being put to the test, I'm not ready. I'm such a failure!"
For the first time, Zana was grateful for the darkness of their jail; it made it impossible to find the girl's face and slap it. "Gres isn't sacrificing you for the cause," she said sharply. "He's using you to force Aken's hand - he's escalating this conflict to such a degree that your uncle will be forced to send for Urko to help! Do you have any idea what that means for the humans you're so eager to protect?"
"That's insane! Why would he want to do that?" Lora hissed.
"Because he has a room full of pre-Blast weapons and a human who can repair them!"
Zana cursed herself for having let that information slip; yes, she had been tired and frightened, and Gres was a skilled interrogator, but she didn't find any of these arguments sufficient to excuse her mistake. In a way, she had set off that avalanche.
The weight of that realization silenced her. She really had no right to tear into Lora that way.
But she had to talk sense into her. If - when Peet would open that door, Lora had to be willing to leave with them; they couldn't knock her out and drag her away.
"Gres now thinks he has a material advantage over Urko and your uncle, one that they can't possibly know of; so he wants that war, he wants that decision, now - and he doesn't care how many humans, and how many apes from the HLF will die for his dream."
"And what if they do? If he really has those weapons, he could force the Council to accept the humans as equals..."
"But why would he do that, once he has won his war? Once he doesn't need them anymore?" Zana reached into the darkness, found Lora's hands and squeezed them. "Think, Lora! You love nothing more than justice for all - would you go out and kill Katlin, or Mano," she couldn't think of anyone else they both knew, "just to get back at your uncle? Just how many deaths are justified for the great cause? Where do you draw the line?"
"But if we do nothing, nothing will change!" Lora protested; but she didn't sound so sure anymore.
"You're right, doing nothing is not the solution," Zana grasped for that opening. "So do something different - you're smart, Lora, I remember how smart you were when I had you in my group," that was a lie, she didn't remember very much about her, but Mothers, sometimes you had to lie for the cause, right?
"You can think of a better way to help the humans - without getting them all killed in the process. In fact, why don't you start thinking of a new strategy right now? It'll take your mind off Gres and the plans he has for you, at least."