Surprise! I'm back!
Here's a little collection of side-stories containing characters stretching across all of my stories, including TDE3 and The Ridonculous Race: Multiverse Mayhem. This is the first story.
I've done my fair share of the BeanBoozled challenge a number of times. Why not have Deadpool and some of the other TDE participants try it for themselves?
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters in this story, nor do I own BeanBoozled.
Enjoy!
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"Is this on? Perfect. Alright, let's make sure I have everything. Wheel? Check. Beans? Check. Guests? Check. Clothes? Check. Barf bucket? Check. Alright, here we go. It's time to make my friends sick to their stomachs."
Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, and the seasoned competitor of Total Drama Everything. When it came to this man, all you needed to recognize him was his red/black spandex suit and arsenal of weaponry he wore at all times. Not to mention the company he kept, whether they be his fellow Marvel buddies or the people he befriended competing on Chris McLean's reality show death trap.
Today, he would be hanging out with some of the latter, none of them having the slightest clue what was happening. Perfect. Deadpool turned on his camera and pointed it at himself.
"Hi, guys. Welcome back to the official Deadpool YouTube channel. Well, it's official in the world of this fanfiction, because that's the only place this channel exists, but whatever. We don't care about how real or not real this channel is. Got that?
"Anyway, I've been getting comments on my videos asking me to try the BeanBoozled challenge. I gotta say, I'm surprised I haven't yet. Well, I guess I have to give you guys what you want. But why would I even think of doing this alone? So I brought in a few good ol' friends of mine. And they have no idea what's coming to them. They only know they're gonna be in my video. It's time we give them the heads up."
Deadpool turned the camera around and walked down the hallway of his apartment to the dining room.
"Say hi to the viewers, everybody."
He pointed his camera to the five people sitting around the dining table: a teenage girl in a pink jacket, a guy wearing a camo spy suit and an eyepatch, another guy with spiked black/yellow hair, a lamb girl with a guitar sitting next to her, and a pink-haired girl with a rosary on her neck.
"And it's starting," said the man with the eyepatch.
"You bet you nanomachines, it's starting," Deadpool quipped, dividing his attention between the camera and his guests. "My lovely Deadpool fans, my guests today are some people you might recognize. Here's the tennis powerhouse Julie Yamamoto, stealth master Solid Snake, Dueling master and mechanic Yusei Fudo, guitar queen Lammy, and butt-kicking vampire Moka Akashiya."
"You know, you really do need to vacuum these floors," Lammy said, looking at the carpet.
Deadpool shrugged. "Anyway, you all may be wondering why I invited you to my humble abode and requested that you take part in my video. Never mind that each of you are getting paid a decent sum of money for this."
"Does it have to do with the massive box on the table? Julie asked. "Or whatever's under the sheet in the corner?"
"Yes, and yes. Now, behold as I show you guys your fate. Warning: severe barfing is possible."
He removed the box from the table; the box was revealed to be a cover for a smaller box, but this second box was filled to the brim with jelly beans. He then removed the sheet from the stand in the corver, which was revealed to show a spinning wheel with a different jelly bean for each wedge.
"You didn't," Yusei said, a slight hint of fear detected in his voice.
"I did."
"Wait, what did he do?" Moka asked. "Is there something wrong with the jelly beans?"
Lammy gave a small, sarcastic laugh. "I guess you've never heard of BeanBoozled. Lucky you."
"To be fair to Moka, I've never heard of it either," Snake said.
"Then allow me to explain to you guys and to the audience," Deadpool said, now facing the camera. "A few years ago, JellyBelly came up with a new jelly bean product called BeanBoozled, which also doubles as a messed-up risk game. How it works is that there are a certain number of flavors within the box of beans, and each flavor is what you would expect from a mix of jelly beans.
"However, each bean also has its evil identical twin, a bad flavor that looks identical to the good flavor. For example, you have a flavor like Berry Blue in here. That's a pretty good flavor. I would know, I love jelly beans. But the certain Berry Blue bean you pick up might not be Berry Blue at all, but Toothpaste. And you never know whether you have the good bean or the bad bean until you bite into it."
"So it's basically a jelly bean Russian Roulette?" Snake asked.
"Yep," Lammy said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I've heard of this, but never really tried it. I'm not much of a risk-taker when it comes to eating food."
"Jack and Crow got their hands on some," Yusei explained. "They and Akiza mostly played the game themselves when they got the beans, but they dared me to try the Tutti Frutti/Stinky Socks bean."
"Which one did you get?" Snake asked.
"Tutti Frutti. Jack didn't speak to me for the rest of the day after that; he got the Socks."
Moka asked Julie, "Have you tried it at all?" Julie shook her head. "Nope. But I did tell Leo not to say anything to his family about it, or his father might find a new torture device for his castle dungeon."
"That's for the best," Deadpool said. "Unfortunately, you guys won't be so lucky."
He checked inside the box. "I had a bunch of comments on my videos asking me to try the BeanBoozled Challenge, and I just couldn't stand the thought of doing this alone."
"So you're basically dragging people down with you?" Snake asked.
"Yep."
"Not bad."
"I know, right? Anyway, how I figured this would work is we would each take turns spinning the wheel to decide which flavor we all get to try for that turn. I've gathered every single flavor from every single incarnation of the product. We're going twice around the table until we have gone through twelve flavors. And I have a special surprise for whichever one of us gets a good bean the most times. And trust me, readers and fellow participants. You'll want to watch this whole thing for that surprise. But no, I don't know what that surprise is, I just had someone write it down and hide it earlier. Any questions?"
"Did he just say 'readers'?" Moka asked. "I thought this was a YouTube video."
"I can't be Deadpool if I'm not breaking the fourth wall," Deadpool replied, placing a metal bucket under the table. "Also, we have a barf bucket if somebody needs it. Nobody has to swallow their bean, but we all do have to chew it. Don't chicken out and pretend to chew, nobody here wants that. So is everyone ready?"
Snake smirked. "Hey, why not?"
"I'm down," Lammy said. "This challenge sounds like it could be fun."
"Fun, but also a bit dangerous," Yusei added. "I'm game."
Julie nodded. "Count me in."
"Guess there's no better way for friends to bond than eating potentially horrible candy," Moka stated. "But I think I can manage."
"Excellent, then let's get the pain started," Deadpool said enthusiastically. "I'll take the first spin."
The mercenary walked over to the wheel. As he did, Lammy whispered to Yusei, "What did we just get ourselves into?"
"We've had weirder dates than this," Yusei whispered back.
"I love how you two consider this a date," Snake said, smirking.
"Isn't it?" Julie asked. "It's two people who happen to be in a relationship and have gotten together today to hang out and enjoy each other's company."
"That, and Deadpool literally picked us up out of the blue while we were walking out of the motorcycle derby," Yusei added.
"Of course, that would be your date spot," Julie said. "But were they REGULAR motorcycles?"
"We saw some Duel Runners in there," Lammy replied.
Deadpool grabbed the side of the wheel and gave it a good spin. The wheel stayed at a good spinning speed for a few seconds before it began to slow down, until it finally stopped. Everyone looked to see what wedge the wheel had stopped on.
"How about that?" Deadpool asked. "Berry Blue/Toothpaste. Now we just have to search the box for our target."
One at a time, the six participants reached into the box and each pulled out a bright blue jelly bean. Only Deadpool looked at his with excitement. The rest looked at theirs with apprehension.
"So I think we can go ahead and do a countdown before we pop these in," Deadpool said, lifting up part of his mask so that his mouth was uncovered. "You guys ready?"
Everyone nodded.
"The here we go. Three…two…one…"
All six of them popped their jelly beans into their mouths at the same time, then took a few seconds to chew slowly.
"Hey, I got Berry Blue," Deadpool said.
Julie looked up at him. "Lucky. Is this really what they think toothpaste tastes like?"
"It's actually not too bad to me," Yusei said, chewing his bean and swallowing it. "Just a minty jelly bean, doesn't cause me any grief."
"I wouldn't know," Moka said. "I got Berry Blue."
"Me too," said Lammy.
Snake shook his head. "You know how everyone's telling you not to swallow the toothpaste when you're brushing your teeth? Finally, toothpaste I can swallow."
"Looks like we don't need the barf bucket for this one," said Deadpool. "Yeah, the Toothpaste flavor is considered to be the weakest of the bad flavors. So it looks like Julie, Yusei, and Snake all got Toothpaste. That means Lammy, Moka, and myself are tied for that surprise at one apiece. Snake, it's your turn at the wheel.
Snake stood up, walked over to the wheel, and spun it. Eventually, it stopped on Buttered Popcorn/Rotten Egg.
"That's the white one with yellow spots, right?" Snake asked.
"Yep," Deadpool replied, removing his bean from the box.
"Gotcha."
Soon, everyone had the right bean in their hands. "This one is strangely more intimidating than the blue one," Moka told the group.
"Don't worry, these are all safe to eat," Deadpool said. "Everybody ready?...Good. Three…two…one…down the hatch. Hopefully."
The reactions were immediate. Everyone but Snake grimaced.
"It's just a jelly bean," Moka kept whispering to herself. "It's just a jelly bean."
"Is this punishment for not eating my mom's scrambled eggs as a kid?" Deadpool asked.
"Anyone else trying to pretend they got Popcorn?" Julie asked.
Lammy groaned, then looked at Yusei. "I guess you got Rotten Egg too?" she asked her boyfriend.
"Actually, I got Popcorn. But it really doesn't taste all that great."
"He's not wrong," Snake added. "It just tastes like they somehow stuck butter into the center of this thing."
Deadpool shook his head. "Yep, I need that barf bucket."
He pulled the bucket out from behind the table. He, Lammy, Julie, and Moka then promptly spit their beans out and took sips from their provided soda cans. Yusei and Snake swallowed, but they also followed with the soda.
"Wow, the people at Jelly Belly did a really good job with these," Julie said. "That taste was uncanny."
"If they can pull off the taste of a rotten egg, then we could be in trouble with the rest of the beans," said Deadpool. "But anyway, Yusei and Snake were the only ones to get the good bean this round. If you want to call Popcorn a good bean. Lammy, it's your turn to spin."
Lammy spun the wheel, and this time it stopped on Strawberry Banana Smoothie/Dead Fish.
"Wait, did they seriously try to make a jelly bean taste like fish?" Lammy asked.
"I'm just gonna pretend it's Tsukune's blood if I get fish," Moka claimed as everyone grabbed their designated color from the box.
Deadpool laughed. "Not surprised. Now let's get this over with. Three…two…one…"
The reactions were a bit slower this time, but it soon became clear who got which bean.
"Finally, a good one," Julie said, chewing her bean with delight.
Yusei wasn't so lucky. "Sushi in a jelly bean," he said. Go figure."
"Really? Mine tastes like a smoothie," Deadpool said. "Can we go to Smoothie King after this? #notsponsored."
Snake shook his head and spit his bean out in the barf bucket, as did Lammy. "I hate fish," Lammy muttered.
Moka shrugged. "The fish actually isn't half bad."
"Speak for yourself," said Yusei, spitting his bean out.
Deadpool smiled. "So it looks like only Julie and I managed to avoid the fish bean. And now it's on to Bean #4. Yusei, you're up."
As Yusei stood up to the wheel, Snake looked at the beans. "What the heck made Jelly Belly decide to make these things?"
"I actually did a little research," Deadpool informed the group. "It turns out they saw their Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from Harry Potter and decided to make a game out of it. Pretty clever business idea, really."
"Or they just wanted to torture their customers," Yusei said, spinning the wheel.
"That too."
This time, the wheel stopped on Top Banana/Pencil Shavings.
"How the heck did they somehow turn wood into a jelly bean flavor?" Lammy asked, grabbing her bean from the box. Everyone else did the same.
"No idea," said Deadpool. "Three, two, one, bottom's up."
After a few seconds of chewing, it seemed clear that the bad flavor was another mild one. At least, that was what Snake discovered. In this round, he ended up the only one chewing a jelly bean meant to taste like wood.
"That is uncanny" he said. "I don't think there's any of us here who didn't try to eat pencil shavings. The accuracy is frightening."
"Too bad some of us will never know," Julie said, smiling as she chewed.
"Yeah, you could be eating a banana right now," Deadpool added.
Lammy smiled. "I kinda want another one," she said. Yusei remained silent as he ate his bean with satisfaction.
"I have never felt so happy to be eating human food in my life," Moka added.
Deadpool laughed. "Yeah, I suppose this wouldn't be too taxing for a vampire," he said. "So anyway, everyone but Snake got a good bean, so now we're on to Bean #5. Julie, will you do the honors?"
Julie stood up and walked over to the wheel. After giving it a good spin, it stopped on Birthday Cake/Dirty Dishwater.
"Wait, what?" Yusei asked. "They made a bean that somehow tastes like water?"
"I know, right?" Deadpool asked as everyone claimed their beans. "Somewhere at Jelly Belly, there's a guy who likely spends every waking moment trying to come up with new bad flavors."
Snake scoffed. "What kind of person would want to do that?"
"A sick, twisted individual," Lammy concluded.
"Probably," Deadpool said. "But now let's see how a dirty water bean tastes. Well, some of us will, anyway. Three, two, one, consume."
Everyone popped the beans into their mouths. Within seconds, strange faces were coming from Lammy and Snake.
"I have no idea how to describe this," Lammy said. "It tastes like water, but also like when the leftover sauce on a plate has hardened, but you try to lick it off anyway."
"I think that's the idea," Snake told her. "Why the heck did I get another bad bean?"
Deadpool shrugged. "Just plain old bad luck?"
"Could be worse," Julie said. "At least you had one good bean so far."
"Gee, thanks for the consolation." The sarcasm was practically dripping from Snake's voice.
"It could be worse," Deadpool said. "Did you know BeanBoozled has a special set called the Fiery Five? Let's just say every bean is bad and the Carolina Reaper bean will destroy your taste buds."
"Yeah, you better not make us try those," Yusei told him.
"Duly noted," Deadpool said. "Anyway, Snake and Lammy both got Dirty Dishwater, and everyone else got another notch on the tally. It's time for the sixth bean. We're about to hit the halfway point. Moka, you're up. Let's hope it's a good one."
Moka stood up and spun the wheel. Everyone watched as it stopped on Chocolate Pudding/Canned Dog Food. Deadpool immediately gulped, horrorstruck.
"Is something wrong?" Julie asked.
The mercenary looked at everyone. "Whoever gets the bad bean, I want you to know that I'm very sorry. You'll find out why in a minute."
Snake looked around. "Okay, I always go into one of my missions with a cool head, but I have never felt this nervous in my life. Has anyone here noticed I've only got one good bean so far?"
"This does not bode well for you, does it?" Lammy asked as she grabbed her bean from the box.
"Nope. But I guess this is what I signed up for."
Soon, everyone had their beans. "Is everyone ready?" Deadpool asked, his voice quavering a little. Once everyone nodded, he nodded back. "Alright, then let's do this. Three, two, one…"
All six participants tossed the beans into their mouths and began to chew. And it soon became clear who got what flavor.
"OH, THANK THE GREAT JELLY BEAN GOD IN THE SKY!" Snake shouted.
"Hey, I got the pudding too," Moka said happily.
They got lucky. Everyone else, not so much.
"What the heck is this?" Lammy asked, almost immediately spitting her bean out into the bucket.
Yusei wasn't doing much better. "Okay, this is pretty bad," he said, chewing a couple of times before he ended up spitting his bean out too.
Julie shook her head. "Nope, can't do it." She was barely able to spit out her bean into the bucket since Deadpool was trying to wrestle the bucket from her so he could do the same.
Finally, Deadpool spat out his bean, and everyone went for their soda cans.
"That is easily one of the most disgusting things I have ever tasted," Julie groaned.
Lammy put down her can. "Ugh, I still taste it."
Yusei moved his tongue around his mouth. "I think there's still some in my teeth."
"This is the first time in my life I've ever felt truly sad," Julie said.
Deadpool tried to put on a brave face– or more accurately, mask. "Yeah, Canned Dog Food is considered by many to be one of the worst flavors -if not THE worst- that BeanBoozled has ever manufactured."
"I feel kinda bad now," Moka said. "I was so happy to have a good bean, and almost everyone else is in pain."
Snake shrugged. "I know. And here I was, finally getting a good bean and practically bragging about it."
Deadpool shrugged. "That's the nature of the game. It's all about risk."
Yusei looked up at the camera. "I just wanna say, whoever came up with BeanBoozled, you are a sick, sadistic person for coming up with this stuff."
"I can't believe someone came up with making a jelly bean taste like dog food," Julie said.
"You know what's worse?" Lammy asked. "Now that I think about it, every good food company needs taste testers so they know their products taste just right before they're manufactured."
Snake groaned. "That means they likely have people taste testing all of the bad flavors to make sure they taste the way their bosses want."
"Sounds like torture," Moka responded.
"Yeah, they're basically getting paid to torture their taste buds," Lammy nodded.
Julie sighed. "They're brave, I'll give them that."
Deadpool nodded. "I hope they get paid well for what they go through."
He looked at the camera. "Alright, we have to keep this rolling. Is everyone recovered from that?"
"Physically, or emotionally?" Yusei asked.
"Yes. Anyway, Moka and Snake got the good flavor, while the rest of us are scarred for life. And we still have plenty more beans to go through. On to #7, and it's my turn to spin again."
The wheel was spun for the seventh time, and this time, it eventually stopped on Coconut/Baby Wipes/Spoiled Milk.
"Why does this one have two bad flavors?" Moka asked as everyone grabbed their bean.
"Because Baby Wipes proved to be a pretty tame one," Deadpool explained. "So they replaced it with Spoiled Milk. Some of you may notice that some of the beans meant for these flavors are solid white, while others are more opaque. If your bean is opaque, you might end up with Baby Wipes. If it's solid white, it might be Spoiled Milk. And you know, I hate coconut. So I'm screwed no matter what."
"At least there's variety in this one," Julie said.
"I know, right? Now, here goes. Three, two, one…"
Once more, everyone tossed the beans into their mouths.
"Hey, I got Coconut," Snake said. "Nice."
Lammy nodded. "Same here," she said.
The other three shook their heads. "I got Baby Wipes," Julie said, chewing slowly. "And you're right, Deadpool. It's actually not as bad as I feared."
"Well, aren't you special?" Yusei asked, grimacing. "Ugh, it's sour in a way sour should never be."
"I guess you got Spoiled Milk too?" Moka asked.
"Well, I got Coconut," Deadpool said, chewing. "Still sucks, but at least I'm not chewing bad milk."
"And to think, we're all told as kids not to leave the milk out," Yusei added as he and Moka spat out their beans into the bucket. "I bet we wish we had listened more often, huh?"
"I just wanna say this to my mom now," Julie said. "Seeing my friends' reactions, I am very sorry and you're right about not leaving the milk out."
Deadpool laughed. "On that note, another point on the good bean tally goes to myself, Lammy, and Snake. And now we move forward with Bean #8. Snake, if you will?"
Snake stood up and walked over to the wheel. "How the hell did I get roped into this?" he asked. "I've officially pushed my tastebuds further than I ever have before."
"Tell me about it," Lammy said. "I didn't ever want to find out what dog food tasted like. Even if that bean was just an imitation."
"Nothing like a box filled with disgusting jelly beans to create camaraderie," Julie added.
Snake spun the wheel. It stopped for the eighth time, this instance landing on Plum/Black Pepper.
Everyone grabbed the purple bean from the box on the table. "Has anyone even had an actual plum before?" Moka asked.
"Can't say I have," Yusei replied, shrugging. "Lammy?"
"Nope."
"Yeah, I don't think plums are a very sought-after fruit," Deadpool said. "But who knows? It might be our favorite fruit after this."
(Author's Note: I actually HAVE eaten a full plum before. It was alright, nothing special.)
"Anyway, here goes. Three, two, one, devour. Or try to."
This ended up one of those beans where the flavor was discerned after just one bite. Almost immediately, Deadpool, Lammy, Snake, and Moka were begging for the bucket. The bean proved too difficult for them to swallow. This especially proved true for Lammy, who nearly choked on her bean and began to cough into the bucket while Yusei and Moka helped by patting her back.
After a tense moment, she was able to spit the bean out into the bucket. After which, she continued coughing for a few seconds while Yusei worked to calm her down and everyone else who had gotten Black Pepper spat out their own beans.
"It's just a bean, Lammy," Yusei whispered calmly. "It's already gone, it's okay."
"How the heck could I not have swallowed that?" Lammy said, her voice somewhat strained while Yusei handed her her soda can, still hugging her. "That was a jelly bean, not actual pepper." Despite the drinks being mainly for washing out the taste of the beans, she was gulping hers down.
"It almost felt like they had stuck actual pepper into that thing," Snake said, taking a sip from his own drink . "Have you tried swallowing straight pepper? It's not pleasant."
"Did Dante dare you to as well?" Deadpool asked.
"Yeah."
Julie looked at the box. "Well, I guess mine was Plum," she said. "Didn't taste like pepper, anyway."
"I guess I don't have a lot of experience with this flavor," Yusei said. "But I guess it could've been worse."
"No kidding," Lammy said, her face half-buried in Yusei's jacket. "I know this is slightly exaggerating, but I'm pretty sure I almost died."
"The tragedy is that Black Pepper didn't even taste as bad as Canned Dog Food," Deadpool said. "It was just something else entirely."
"I could go for some blood right now," Moka groaned. "The soda's fine, but I'm sneaking some blood off Tsukune when I get back to Yokai."
"Can we just move on already?" Snake asked.
Deadpool nodded. "Yep."
By this point, Lammy had managed to recover. "Alright, I'm good," she told Yusei, sitting up again.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. If Namora couldn't take me down, a jelly bean never could."
Yusei smirked. "That's the Lammy I know."
"So this was definitely an interesting round," Deadpool said. "Only Yusei and Julie got Plum, and Lammy almost died. So let's go ahead and move on to the ninth round. Lammy, if you're good, it's your turn to spin."
Having now regained her composure, Lammy walked up and spun the wheel. When it stopped, the next bean was shown to be Licorice/Skunk Spray.
"You have got to be kidding me," Deadpool said. "Guys, we all just got thoroughly screwed."
This time, everyone grabbed their beans with apprehension. "So just to clarify, there's not a single person sitting at this table who enjoys black licorice?" Julie asked.
Everyone shook their heads.
"I'm kinda afraid to do this one," Moka said.
"What on Earth did I sign up for?" Yusei asked.
Deadpool sighed. "Right now, I'm asking myself that very question. But there's no turning back now. You guys ready?"
The group nodded, while Yusei and Lammy held hands tightly.
"In that case, here we go. Let's hope we make it out of this round alive. Three, two, one…"
The beans were popped into everyone's mouths. Nearly everyone ended up with weird faces.
"Definitely Licorice," Lammy said. "Small comfort, I guess."
Julie nodded. "I'll never get used to this, but it's better than Skunk Spray."
However, they were the only two to get Licorice. Everyone else was clearly forcing themselves to chew.
"Good God, that's strong," Snake said. "Very pungent."
Moka wiped a tear off her face. "Oh dear, this one is actually making me cry a little."
"That's what they think Skunk Spray tastes like?" Deadpool asked. "Good job, Jelly Belly nutcases."
As for Yusei, he was lucky he was right next to the bucket. Otherwise, his bean might've ended up on the floor. That was how much he couldn't stand the taste. Needless to say, now it was Lammy's turn helping Yusei get over a bad bean as she helped him relax and handed him the soda can, though he didn't gulp his down the way Lammy did with hers earlier.
"That one really sets in," Yusei groaned. "My taste buds might never recover after that."
By this point, everyone else had spat their beans out; even Lammy and Julie, who both got Licorice.
"Talk about a lose-lose situation," Deadpool said. "So I think we can all agree we all lost on that round?"
"Yep," said Snake.
"Uh huh," Moka replied.
"You said it," Lammy said.
"Definitely," Yusei added.
"No doubt," Julie finished.
"Cool, glad we straightened that out. Anyway, Lammy and Julie were the only ones to get the good bean. Or rather, the lesser of two evils in this case. And now it's on to Bean #10. We're nearing the end of our BeanBoozled gauntlet. Yusei, you're up."
After questioning his life decisions for the umpteenth time that day, Yusei spun the wheel. Eventually, Yusei raised an eyebrow when he saw that it had stopped on Tutti Frutti/Stinky Socks.
"How about that?" he asked. "Scary coincidences."
Once more, everyone picked out the required bean from the box.
"It looks pretty," Lammy said. "Pink with dots is definitely this bean's color."
"And this challenge has officially destroyed our sanity to the point that we're looking at these beans as fashionable," Snake said.
"Can we just get this round over with?" Julie asked.
Deadpool was already chewing his bean. "Yeah, seriously. I'm already on this one. Mmmmm, fruity."
Seeing Deadpool already chewing, everyone else began eating their own beans. Or trying to, in some cases.
"Tutti Frutti!" Julie exclaimed. "Yes!"
Snake nodded, his face filled with satisfaction. "No socks for me today."
"Speak for yourself," Lammy said, her face an indication that she was not enjoying her bean. Yusei and Moka had similar faces.
"Is this really how socks taste like?" Moka asked, chewing slowly. "How could they possibly guess that?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Yusei shrugged.
All three managed to swallow their beans, albeit with great difficulty. It was a good thing Deadpool's background staff had plenty of water and soda for the group.
"Are you happy now, Jack?" Yusei asked, looking at the camera. "I got the Socks. I hope I've fulfilled your every desire today."
"I know we're fulfilling the desires of my viewers by torturing ourselves," Deadpool replied.
Moka shook her head. "Yeah, that doesn't help us."
"Just what Otacon and the others need," Snake added. "Footage of me chewing nasty jelly beans."
"Why did I agree to this again?" Julie asked.
"Because you're all my friends and I didn't want to suffer alone and you guys agreed to join in solidarity?" Deadpool asked/reminded the group.
Lammy sighed. "Oh yeah. Now I remember."
The mercenary shrugged. "So myself, Julie, and Snake emerged unscathed on that one, and it's now time for the penultimate bean, #11. Julie, if you would."
Now with extreme apprehension, Julie spun the wheel. Everyone watched as the wheel spun until it stopped on Lime/Lawn Clippings.
"Wait, Lawn Clippings?" Lammy asked. "They made a jelly bean that tastes like straight grass?"
"They made one that tastes like dog food," Snake reminded her. "At this point, we really shouldn't be surprised."
Soon, everyone had claimed their bean from the box. ""So glad this is almost over," Moka said.
"Preaching the choir on that one," Deadpool said. "Three, two, one, here goes!"
Once more, jelly beans were popped. The reactions this time were more muted.
"Yeah, that's Lime," Yusei said, chewing slowly. "I'm cool with that."
Deadpool nodded. "I got Lime too."
Moka nodded in agreement. "Another good one."
The others were wearing confused faces. "Definitely not Lime, but it somehow tastes alright," Snake said.
"Yeah, they actually made grass taste tolerable," Lammy added. "I don't have any real problems with this one."
"I kinda like it," Moka said, swallowing her jelly bean. "It could almost turn me into a vegetarian, which is weird, since I drink blood."
Deadpool laughed. "You never know. Monster High had that same thing."
Lammy looked at Yusei. "Add another to the list of vampires we can't tell Alucard about?"
"Yep."
Everyone else looked at the two. "The heck?" Julie asked.
"After the Race, a few of us decided to try and help Alucard boost his social life and make some friends," Lammy explained. "We figured other vampires would be a good place to start. The effort's had its ups and downs so far."
"On one hand, he now keeps in touch with Marceline from Adventure Time," Yusei added.
"On the other hand, one of Don's interns suggested he hang out with DIO, and Alucard threatened him in such a way that he's now in hiding," Lammy finished.
"That poor intern never watched Death Battle?" Snake asked.
"Nope," Yusei said, shaking his head.
Deadpool laughed. "Okay, so after that anticlimactic round, another point each goes to Yusei, Moka, and myself. And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for, purely because it means finally putting this nasty challenge behind us. Moka, will you do the honors and spin for our twelfth and final jelly bean?"
"I just wanna point out that it totally does NOT smell awful in here," Snake said.
Julie nodded. "Yeah, it doesn't smell like a combination of socks, dog food, and spoiled milk at all."
Lammy smiled. "That's called 'sarcasm', kids."
Moka stood up and spun the wheel, albeit a little roughly. As a result, the wheel ended up going for longer than usual. Finally, it stopped on Peach/Barf.
"Perfect!" Deadpool exclaimed. "This is probably BeanBoozled's most iconic matchup, and it's only fitting that this bean ends up as the last one."
"Okay, that only makes me even more scared of this thing," Moka said, holding her bean in her fingers as everyone else grabbed theirs.
"Well, we've already gone through several rounds of torture," Snake said. "Why not one more? Let's destroy our taste buds, shall we?"
"Indeed, we shall," Deadpool said. "And trust me, there is no humorous intent when I say I wish you all the best of luck on this one. You guys ready?"
Everyone nodded silently.
"Then let's bring this home. Three, two, one, consume."
Once more, everyone threw the jelly beans into their mouths. The group silently chewed for about five seconds.
Then…
"Nope!" Julie exclaimed, reaching for the bucket. But before she could grab it, Moka reached it first, her face in horror. Yusei then began a tug-of-war with Moka over the bucket.
Since the bucket was being fought over on one end of the table, those on the other end had to stand up before they joined the scuffle. Soon, all six were pulling the bucket towards each other.
"Give me the bucket!" Deadpool yelled. "This thing tastes horrible!"
"Me first!" Lammy shouted.
"Come on, I gotta get this horrible barf bean outta my mouth!" Yusei screamed.
"Wait your turn!" Moka yelled, her voice altered by the bean she was trying not to taste again.
"Gimme the bucket!" Snake yelled, sounding desperate.
"I'm going first!" Julie shouted.
(BEEP!)
(A slide of Deadpool riding a unicorn was showing. The caption: "Currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait patiently.)
(BEEP!)
Everyone was back in their seats, the only sounds coming from Deadpool as he chugged his soda can, Julie as she gargled, and Moka as she was literally BRUSHING her teeth/fangs.
"Breath mints are a trusted friend," Snake said, his voice slightly altered.
Lammy smiled. "Minty goodness. Thanks for bringing those, Snake."
"I never thought I would consider a breath mint as the most delicious thing ever," Yusei mused.
"Hey, why didn't the rest of us get breath mints?" Deadpool asked.
"I offered, but you three were already working on washing out the taste in other ways," Snake explained.
"And why didn't you use those after every bean?" Julie asked, spitting out her water in a paper cup.
"Because I would've run out halfway through this."
"Fair."
Moka finished brushing her teeth, spitting in her own cup. "That was the most thorough teeth brushing I've done in years," she said. "And I live for clean teeth."
"So just to make sure nobody's lost," Yusei said, "we all got the Barf bean and ended up in a scuffle just to spit it out?"
"That's what it felt like to me," Deadpool replied.
"How did we literally all end up with Barf?" Julie asked. "There's no way the chances were that good."
(Author's Note, if you actually know the odds of six people all getting the same good or bad BeanBoozled flavor out of a list of twelve, please let me know in the reviews.)
"I will be having nightmares about this tonight," Lammy said.
Snake shuddered. "I will never agree to something like this ever again."
Deadpool sighed. He still had to get on with the video. "So as you can tell, nobody gets a point for that round because the universe clearly hates us. And we have finally come to the end of our BeanBoozled Challenge Gauntlet. I've been keeping track of how many good beans we each have gotten, and I'm looking at the totals on my phone. I'll also put them on the screen for you guys."
Good Bean Tally:
Deadpool: 7
Snake: 4
Lammy: 4
Yusei: 5
Julie: 6
Moka: 5
"Hey, would you look at that?" Deadpool asked, looking up from his phone. "I had the highest number of good beans. I won the challenge!"
In the background, a recording was played of people cheering and clapping.
"Yeah, we're not clapping," Julie said. "This doesn't sound like the type of win people should brag about."
Deadpool shrugged. "Now it's time for my surprise. And the thing telling me what it is is something that I'm surprised you guys didn't notice from the beginning."
"I noticed," Snake stated. "I just didn't want to say anything."
Deadpool lifted the box of jelly beans off the table, looked at the bottom, and pulled off a slip of paper taped to the bottom of the box. A message was written on it. Deadpool held up the paper and prepared to read, but then his face (mask?) fell. Surprisingly, he was silent.
"What does it say?" Moka asked.
Deadpool signed and read out, "The person who got the most good beans during the challenge must take a handful of the jelly beans from the box and shove the entire handful into his mouth at once."
Everyone groaned
"That's just cruel," Lammy said.
"I think one of your interns has it in for you," Julie said.
Shaking his head, Deadpool grabbed a handful of jelly beans from the box. For one final time, he lifted his mask above his mouth.
"Do I have to?" he muttered.
Moka looked at the others at the table. They all nodded, then began chanting.
"Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool!"
His friends kept chanting, and he finally went for it and shoved into his mouth every last bean he had in his hand. Slowly, he began to chew. And let me just say, if that wasn't the mark of a brave man, then said brave man was nonexistent.
After about ten seconds of chewing, Julie handed Deadpool a clean paper cup. She figured he would need it. Sure enough, Deadpool soon gagged and spat out the jelly beans into the cup as a large, chewed-up wad of jelly beans and saliva.
After a few liberal sips of soda, Deadpool held out the cup to everyone else, who immediately recoiled. "Come on, you guys wanna see what chewed-up jelly beans look like?" he asked.
"Not really," Yusei said, trying to back away in his chair as the cup was directly in front of him.
"I gotta say, the dog food really worked its way into the rest of the beans," Deadpool said. "The spoiled milk too."
"Are we done yet?" Snake asked.
Deadpool laughed before looking at the camera. "So that was my friends and I doing the BeanBoozled Challenge. I bet you guys enjoyed that way more than we did."
"I'll say," the other five said in unison.
"Anyway, a big thanks to the people sitting here with me today. Snake, Julie, Moka, Yusei, and Lammy. I don't think this video would've been half as entertaining to make without you guys. Thanks for sticking around and for joining me in all that pain."
"You know you owe us big time for this, right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm kinda bummed I couldn't invite Snake Eyes. I asked, but he promptly wrote on a piece of paper that he was busy. Oh well."
"So don't forget to like this video, and subscribe to the Deadpool channel for more insane videos like this one."
"In the meantime, we're all gonna go scarf down our favorite foods so we can forget what dog food and barf tastes like," Moka said.
"I'm gonna go pass out from the pain," Snake said brightly.
"I'm gonna go cry in the shower for three days," Lammy added.
Deadpool waved at the camera. "I'll see you guys next time. Until then, CHIMICHANGA!"
Everyone else waved and shouted, "Chimichanga!"
(...)
The very day after Deadpool's video was filmed, the news reported that the Jelly Belly World Headquarters had been attacked, but most of the factory was strangely intact. However, the entire BeanBoozled division had been completely trashed. Eyewitnesses claimed they had no idea who it was or their motives. The only clues were some people spotting a red-and-black figure running through the halls. In addition, a message had been written on the wall in black paint.
"OUR TASTE BUDS SHALL SUFFER NO MORE!"
Next to the message was a drawing of a chimichanga.
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Oh, the BeanBoozled Challenge. Either you love to hate it, or you REALLY love to hate it.
As a way of hopefully making my way back into fanfiction, I'm setting up a simple collection of short stories involving the characters from all of my stories. You, my friend, just read the first of the TDE Tales.
Now, here's a bit of context. All of these stories will take place after what was supposed to be the ending of TDE3 and The Ridonculous Race: Multiverse Mayhem. I plan to add some context to certain chapters so things make sense. But there was much I wanted to do with these characters, and I don't wanna simply give that up.
And who knows? Maybe this will give me the spark I need to get my other stories going again. I make no promises though.
While these stories are mainly meant to be funny, I have a few ideas for more serious tales to put on here. I'm also open to suggestions about stories I might be able to put on this thing. If you have an idea, just let me know. I'm all ears. Well, really all eyes. You know what I mean.
Just remember to read and review, and fave and follow.
See you next time. TheMasterKat out!