Small Towns and Shitty Motels

A small boy with curly hair sits by himself on the swing, his chewed up hands gripe the frosted chains hard. His thin jacket does little to protect him from the cold, fall air. He rocks back and forth waiting for the middle school kids to be let out, so he and his older brother can go home, to whatever trashy motel they're staying at this time. His stomach aches from hunger, he tries to ignore it, knowing the thought of food would just make him even more hungry, to only be disappointed by empty cupboards at home. Their dad had left them enough money to last a week. That was two weeks ago. Leaving the two young boys to fend for themselves. Sammy's only eight and doesn't think much about where the food, and money comes from whenever they start to get low, but he can hear the door close at night when Dean thinks he's asleep, and he'll hear him come back early in the morning, sometimes covered in bruises. Whenever Sammy tries to ask him about it Dean tells "not to worry about it". Despite Dean being only four years older, he knows Sammy is his responsibility, and as his dad constantly reminds him, he needs to look out for him. Dean doesn't need to be reminded of this, he knows if he's not there Sammy won't get fed, his dad would forget to buy him clothes, and the two would probably kill each other.

Within the eight years of Sammy's life they have been to almost every state in America, they spend more time in the car in a year than most people his age have in their life. Sammy doesn't remember anything else, it's always just been him, his dad, and his big brother, Dean. They practically live in their car, a 1967 chevy impala, that his brother is obsessed with, together they drive around the country, living in new shitty motels every few weeks. The minute they start to get settled, or make friends for once, their dad comes back from whatever business trip he went on, and they leave. Sammy, despite only knowing this life, knows it's not normal, and he wishes for nothing more than to live a normal life. He hates the constant moving around, he wishes they could stay long enough that he could join a soccer team, or have someone else to talk to beside Dean. Typically he dreads the idea of leaving, this time he's counting down the minutes till his Dad will come home, and they'll leave. Being a new kid is always hard, especially when they show up in the middle of the year. Sammy's smart, but even he struggles to keep up when he constantly starts units halfway through, then leaves again to join a new class which is learning something different again. Dean's already stopped caring about his grades. The worst part about being the new kid is you're an easy target for bullies. Sam has experienced no shortage of bullies in his life, but never has it been this bad. The bruises that litter his thin arms, and the dried blood on his shirt are clear signs to anyone who cares enough to notice that he's being hurt. Most kids' parents would be at the school demanding answers, defending their kid, his dad's never met his teacher, or talked to her, and he probably never will. His teacher must know this too, because she ignores the signs, and the names they call him. The only one who cares is Dean, but Sammy had begged him to leave it alone, not wanting to cause trouble.

Sammy's cheeks have turned a slight red color by the time Dean walks out of the jr high building. Dean walks with a certain confidence and maturity that a kid his age shouldn't have. He scans his surroundings looking around for potential dangers, but to anyone who didn't know about the family business he just looks like a cocky kid, Sammy included. Once Dean sees Sam slouched over on the swing he speeds up his steps, until he's standing in front of his little brother. Dean does a quick glance over his little brother, it doesn't take long for him to realize what's happened to his little brother. Dean hates that Sammy has to go through this, he hates he can't do anything to stop it, and he hates how Sammy is far stronger than those kids but he doesn't defend himself.

"Who did this to you? Just tell me who did this to you and I'll deal with them." Dean asks as he kneels down in front of Sammy, ignoring the wet rocks, and the water sipping through his pants. His only concern is his brother.

"It doesn't matter Dean, we won't be here much longer!"

"Sammy tell me who did this to you, or so help me!" Dean clenches his fist

"Dean, please just leave. I just want to go home."

Dean goes to say something but once he notices the tears pooling in his brother's eyes he stops. There's nothing worse for him than seeing his brother cry. Sighing in defeat Dean grabs Sam's cold hand, and the two of them start to walk home in silence. Dean is thinking about where he will get their next meal from. Sam's mind is occupied by the dread of going to school tomorrow.

If they had been driven home it would have taken about five minutes. The walk through the rain took them over twenty minutes. By the time they got to the motel Sam's lips were blue, and his teeth clattered together with every breath.

"Go take a hot shower, I'm gonna clean up in case dad comes back tonight, that way we can leave right away."

Sammy ran into the bathroom, while Dean scanned the small room. The motel was small, and dirty. The once blue carpet now had a brown tint, the bedsheets were gray from cigarette smoke, and everything smells like mildew. Clothes, and old takeaway bags littered the floor. Dean scanned the room looking for any possible loose change he could find in order to buy dinner tonight. He was in no shape to hustle pool tonight, still feeling the cracked rib from the last time. When all the pockets, and every square inch of the motel has been scavenged Dean gives up. And Sammy walks out of the bathroom, his hair dripping water down the back of his shirt.

"When's dad going to come back?"

Sammy looks like he's going to cry. From across the room Dean thinks he looks much younger than eight.

" I don't know buddy, hopefully soon. Why don't you take a nap, and I'll go get us some dinner?"

Dean hates the idea of leaving Sammy alone, but his dad never leaves him enough money to allow him to stay. This time Dean plans to be faster, then maybe they won't beat him up for cheating. Sammy ignores Dean's suggestion.

" How come only our dad is gone so much?"

"What do you mean Sammy?"

"Well everyone else's dad's are home, but our dad is gone all the time."

"Sammy I've told you dad is away on a business trip."

"I know that! But what does he do?"

"He sells things"

"Then why can't we go with him?"

" You're too young Sam, you'd just get in the way." Sammy's face falls a little bit at this remark.

" Sometimes I wish we could just leave, and live with a new family. That way we wouldn't have to move around so much. I could make friends, join a soccer team, and just be normal."

Dean flinches at Sammy's words. Freezes for a second, his face going pale, before crossing the room to where Sam stands, grabbing the younger boy's arm and pulling him closer.

"Don't ever say that Sammy! Dad loves us! Me, you and Dad, we are all each other has! You never turn your back on family! I can't believe you choose being normal over your own family."

Sam's eyes start to tear up. "No Dean I didn't-"

"Whatever Sammy. I'm going to go get dinner, don't leave this room."

Dean drops Sam's hands, and exis the motel, slamming the door behind him. Once Dean has exited Sam breaks down in tears. He runs to the bed, and buries his head in the pillow. Despite Dean's words about the importance of family, Sam can't shake the idea of leaving. Unlike Dean, Sam doesn't always get along with his dad. They argue a lot, Sam asks too many questions, and doesn't follow his dad's order. John's constant absence from their lives, and strict demeanor makes Sam question whether or not their dad really does love them.

30 minutes pass and Dean still hasn't come home. Despite what his brother thinks Sammy notices him coming home late, the bruises, and the constant look of stress on Dean's face. Usually Dean is back within 20 minutes, his absence starting to worry Sam. Dean has become more of a parent to Sam then John, but even in his absence John still calls the shots. John's orders are law, the most important order being to watch out for Sammy, and never leave him unattended. Easier said than done when John barely leaves enough money for the time he says he'll be gone for, but then is almost always gone for days longer than expected. After another 15 minutes Sammy is terrified that something has happened to Dean, he paces back and forth the motel, glancing at the door, contemplating going to look for him.

Another 15 minutes pass, and his fear has made his decision for him. For the first time ever Sammy leaves the motel by himself.