Heyo! I'm home, I'm bored, I decided to mash my two favorite childhood cartoons together. Enjoy :)
Chris McLean stood grinning on a rotting dock jutting out from the banks of a shabby island. "Live from Camp Wawanawkwa it's Chris McLean bringing you your new favorite reality TV show! Twenty teenagers have signed up to live here for the next eight weeks, competing in challenges and avoiding the dreaded Marshmallow Ceremony. Every three days, the winning team will receive an award or the losing team will send one of their teammates packing in our elimination ceremony. The loser will have to walk down the Dock of Shame, take the Boat of Losers, and wallow in their lameness. As we pick off these campers one by one, only one will be left to claim their ten minutes of fame as well as $100,000! Thanks to hidden cameras planted all over the island, you viewers won't miss a second of the drama that goes on here. Who will go first and who will cruise to victory? Find out right here, right now, on Total…Drama…Island!"
*Cue theme song*
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine, you guys are on my mind
The camera shoots through the trees and up the cliff at Camp Wawanakwa. Chris winks at the camera before tossing an immunity idol over the edge. The camera follows it as it falls into the water and sinks to the bottom of the lake.
You asked me what I wanted to be
Steve swims by in red swim trunks straight towards the chest, arms outstretched as he attempts to grab the idol. Tentacles suddenly wrap around him, dragging him offscreen as he lets out a muted underwater scream.
And now I think the answer is plain to see
Above water, Lee is sitting cross-legged on the dock as he does tricks with his yoyo. Sonia, who is sitting next to him, smiles at him. Ashley, who walks by whistling, kicks the yo-you in mid-air, causing Sonia and Lee to get tangled up in the string. Bodies pressed together, they smile sheepishly at each other.
I wanna be famous!
Ashley grins viciously before her eyes light up and she runs down the dock to Constance who is waiting on land. The two embrace each other and squeal happily. The camera rushes away from the beach and zooms through the trees.
I wanna live close to the sun
On the river, Kuki is seen sunbathing in an inner tube. Wally and Ace, a ways behind her, paddle furiously to catch up, all the while glaring at each other.
So pack your bags because I've already won
The camera moves downstream. Rachel, Fanny, and Nigel are seen arguing at the top of a waterfall. Out of frustration, Fanny shoves Nigel off of the rock that they're perched on, causing Rachel to gasp. At the bottom of the waterfall, Lizzie, sitting in a canoe, catches Nigel and grins evilly.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
The camera shoots through the trees and through a window of the mess hall. Bartie is seen mixing chemicals together in the kitchen while Chef is watching over him with a suspicious look on his face. Virginia pops up from behind the counter and hands him a beaker. The two of them smile at each other before one of the chemical mixtures combusts, covering them in pink goo.
I'll get there one day
Also in the kitchen, Lenny is seen blabbing his head off as he sits and picks at his braces with a toothpick. Out of frustration, Chef stuffs a rotting caramel apple into his mouth, causing him to scream.
Cause I wanna be famous!
Outside of the mess hall, Patton is seen using his marshmallow bazooka while Hoagie stands at attention. He lets one fly, and Hoagie races after it, diving through the air and twisting to catch it with his mouth. The two of them cheer.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
Chad emerges from the confessional outhouse with a wicked smirk on his face. A bear advances on him and he jumps on its back, riding it around as it roars and attempts to shake him off.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
On the other end of the dock away from Sonia and Lee, Abby and Cree are seen screaming at each other. They wave their arms around wildly before Cree finally shoves Abby into the water with a satisfied smirk. As she saunters away, Abby's arm suddenly emerges from the water and grabs her ankle, causing her to fall in with a shriek. Both sisters emerge and Abby cheekily spits water into Cree's eye.
*whistling*
Cut to the campfire. Wally and Ace, with Kuki in between them, each leaned in to kiss her cheeks. At the last minute, she leans down to tie her shoelaces, causing the two rival boys to kiss each other and leap away, screaming in disgust. The rest of the campers whistle jauntily.
*End theme song*
"It's finally time to meet our victims-I mean campers," Chris said with a wicked smile as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "And here comes the first one now!"
A gleaming white yacht with orange embellishments zoomed through the water, slowing only to drop off the first contestant before speeding away. She was a short teenage girl with a sweet face and perky blonde pigtails. Her wide eyes grew even bigger as she spotted the host. "Sonia! What's up?" Chris smiled casually.
"It is so good to meet you," Sonia said shyly, clutching her suitcase. "Wow, I can't believe I'm here! Am I the first to arrive?"
"That you are, stand over here please." Chris ushered her over to the end of the dock. She dusted off her pink blouse and red skirt and stood obediently where the host had pointed. The same yacht that dropped her off had returned, this time carrying a guy donning a blue and orange jersey, winter hat, and a yo-yo. He dismounted the boat, grabbed his duffel, and approached Chris. "Lee!" The host greeted cheerfully.
Lee looked around with wide eyes, taking in his surroundings. He inhaled as if to let out a declarative thought. "Cool."
"This is Camp Wawanakwa, dude!" Chris's voice shook him from his stupor. Lee shot him finger guns and moved to stand next to Sonia. In an instant, his yo-yo was in action as he walked over and stood beside the blonde girl.
"It's nice to meet you, Lee," Sonia said sweetly. He stared at her with an odd look on his face. She stared back. The next arrival caused the two contestants to break away from their staring contest, blushing.
"Hey Virginia," Chris smirked as the boat dropped off a teenage girl with dark brown hair in black and red attire.
"What's up, McLean." Virginia approached him with a grin, accepting the fist bump he offered her. She looked around and her smile drooped slightly. "You mean we're actually staying at a summer camp?" She groaned and gazed down at her ghostly pale forearms before looking back up at the host. "Man, I'm so not built for this."
"No, you're staying at a summer camp! I'd tell you where my place is but wouldn't want to make you all jealous," the host grinned, enjoying the way her face contorted into a scowl. "Maybe some sunscreen will help you out these next eight weeks."
"Chris hates goths, you've heard it here," Virginia grumbled, defeatedly kicking her bag over to Sonia and Lee. They took in her dark shirt with a red skull on it and black leather mini skirt with terrified curiosity.
"Pigtails! We match," Sonia finally supplied as a sort of greeting. Virginia raised an eyebrow and shot a small smile back at the blonde.
The next contestant was blonde and wore a confident expression along with a tattered orange hoodie, ripped jeans, and sneakers. He jumped off the boat without it even having to stop and marched up to the host. "Sup, McLean?" He asked in an Australian accent.
"How's it hanging, dude? Excited about the competition?"
Wally's eyes lit up. "Aw yeah, you know it, man! I'm gonna go like grrr and the competition will be all like ahhh and then I'll go kapow and they'll all go waahhh and cry into their pillows while I spend the cash."
"I like your confidence." Chris grinned. "That way, please. Everybody, this is Kuki."
"Hiiii," Kuki greeted cheerfully as she jumped off the boat and walked over to Chris. She was a beautiful Japanese girl with tumbling long dark hair. She sported a very short green dress and classic black Chuck Taylor's. "Oh my gosh, it's really you! Chris Martin!"
"Um, no. I'm Chris McLean? The host of the show you're on?" Chris supplied, an irked expression replacing his usually present smirk.
"Oh my gosh, I love your music! Will you sing us Viva La Vida?" Kuki clapped her hands in excitement, ignoring the host's previous statement.
"You've got to be joking," Virginia and Chris muttered in unison, the former with a smirk and the latter with a scowl.
"H-hey," Wally greeted Kuki with wide, eager eyes as she approached him. "You sure aren't a sight for sore eyes, Sheila."
Kuki grinned down at him. "I've never met an Australian before, do you have a pet koala?" Wally stared up at her in awe and nodded despite not hearing her question. She squealed and hugged him excitedly.
"Nice," he muttered to himself.
A new contestant's arrival suddenly drew the host's annoyed attention away from Kuki. A tall girl with dark skin and curly dark hair stepped off the boat, arms crossed and demanding attention from everyone with her demeanor. She sported a tiny pink top and long flared denim jeans. "What's up," she said in a cool-toned, arrogant manner.
"Cree," Chris greeted her. "Nice to see you again. Ready to compete?"
"Definitely." Cree flashed a cocky smile to the nearest camera before lugging her multiple suitcases over to the end of the dock.
"Good to hear. And here's another contest-Wait, what's going on?"
The next yacht to arrive approached the dock in a janky, zigzagged pattern. While the other boats had easily cruised and landed at the dock, this particular vessel looked as though it were going to crash.
"Um, does that driver have a boating license?" Virginia yelped as the boat neared the dock at a dangerously fast pace. Sonia cowered behind Lee in fear.
Even Chris looked shocked. "She's supposed to. CHEF! Did you screen the drivers like I asked you to?"
"Duh!" Came the gruff response from somewhere off in the distance.
Just as the boat was about to collide with the dock, it made a sharp 90-degree turn and came to a screeching halt. The impact of the hasty stop sent gallons of lake water flying towards the dock, dousing the three contestants but sparing the host.
"Not cool," Lee groaned, ringing out his soaked hat. Sonia, who had been clutching his and Virginia's arms in fear, let go with a sheepish smile.
"Dude! What's the deal?" Chris stomped over to the boat and pounded on the driver's door. It flew open, revealing another boy with a mass of blond hair and a self-serving smirk on his face. But where Wally was short and stocky, the newcomer was tall and lanky.
"Hi there, Chris," the boy said smoothly, emerging from the boat's interior. He grabbed his duffel, shoved Chris aside, and hopped off the boat. He wore a red football jersey, jean shorts, and brown boots that made a loud noise as he landed on the rickety dock. "These aren't my competitors, are they?" He approached his companions and surveyed them with little interest. Wally put his hand up and offered him a high-five which he promptly snorted at, turning away. Before Wally could deflate, Lee slapped his hand which earned him a grin.
"Nice going, Bozo, have fun nearly killing us?" Virginia scowled up at Chad. He raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"Chad! What gives, man?" Chris finally emerged from the boat, dragging a Total Drama employee by the collar on her shirt.
"I wanted to drive." Chad shrugged nonchalantly.
"He took over," the intern said helplessly when Chris glared down at her. "He said he wanted to drive."
"Hijacked by a contestant? Oh, you're so fired," Chris chuckled mercilessly. The intern hung her head in shame. "Get out of here. And you." He rounded on Chad. "I'll be keeping an eye on you."
"Probably for the best," Chad said, grinning maliciously.
"Hey there Hotshot." Cree sidled up next to Chad. "Saw that you commandeered your boat, nice move."
"Thanks." Chad gave her a quick nod.
"Let's not encourage that kind of behavior here, got it?" Chris said hastily, eyes lighting up when he saw the next, luckily not hijacked, boat arrive. "Ah, here's someone who's a treat and a half to be around." The next contestant to arrive also chose to enter with a bang. Under one arm he held a speaker that was pumping out house music. His brown pompadour blew in the wind and his eyes glinted behind a pair of black shades. He grinned and waved at the dock of people as Chris introduced him. "Ladies and gentlemen, Steve!"
"Whaat?" Steve shouted over the music.
"I said IT'S STEVE!"
"It's THE Steve!" The brunette shouted back.
"Whatever." Chris rolled his eyes as the boat finally landed at the dock. His annoyed expression was replaced with a smile when Steve hopped down and gave him a fistbump.
"The Steve is here, ready to kick some loser ass," Steve grinned, his white teeth sparkling in the sun. He shoved his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose and strutted down the dock, shooting finger guns at the rest of the campers.
"You're funny," Kuki giggled, observing the douchy newcomer. Wally, clearly upset by that, stuck out his foot, sending Steve flying into Cree's luggage with a grunt.
"Wicked wipeout, man. It's The Steve," Chris grinned, gesturing to the pile of luggage where a hand emerged and shot the host a thumbs up. Lee reached over to high-five the hand.
Chris was still snickering as the next contestant silently dismounted his boat and stood there, quietly observing his surroundings. He stayed like that, blinking, until the host finally heard his breathing, turned around, and yelped when he saw him. "Hello to you too, Mr. McLean," the teenager said in a British accent.
"Welcome to camp, Nigel," Chris said awkwardly, inspecting the newcomer. He was a tall, bald teenager wearing a red sweatshirt with dark glasses, holding a computer under his arm.
"So you mean this show is where we'll be spending the next eight weeks?" Nigel asked unblinkingly.
"You got that right."
The bald contestant's eyes lit up. "Excellent. I've never tested my skills in a terrain like this, should be a great learning experience," he said as he shuffled off.
"Sweet shades, my man," Steve, finally free from the luggage, commented. Nigel acknowledged the compliment with a quick nod.
"Contestant number nine is Patton," Chris introduced the next contestant who dismounted with a large black case in his hand. He had dark hair and wore a forest green sweatshirt, brown cargo pants, and a brown hat.
"Ooh is that a guitar?" Kuki gasped, pointing at Patton's cargo. "Did you know our host sings in the band Coldplay? You two should do a duet!"
"She thinks I'm Chris Martin from Coldplay," Chris grumbled to the confused-looking Patton.
"This isn't a guitar." Patton scoffed before turning to the host. "It's a bazooka."
"What?" Sonia and Kuki screeched in unison at the same time Wally and Chad snickered excitedly.
"Nuh uh, dude, no weapons on the island," Chris protested, making a swipe for the case.
"Slow your horses, it's a marshmallow gun," Patton cried, clutching the case to his chest. "Back home I'm the town's marshmallow shooting champion, three years running."
"Oh." Chris's eyes lit up in excitement. "Can I use that at the campfire ceremony?"
"Uh, sure."
"Fantastic. Move along now, please."
Patton walked over and stood next to Sonia, who stared down at his case with obvious fear in her eyes. She snapped to attention when the next boat came, dropping off another blonde girl who quickly descended from the next boat.
"Hi everybody." The girl said in a cheerful greeting. She had shiny blonde hair that fell to her shoulders and a blue and orange sweatshirt that nearly covered her teal shorts.
"Our resident American, Rachel, is here!" Chris introduced her to the other contestants.
"Nothing special about her," Cree muttered under her breath unsuccessfully.
Rachel heard the comment and glared at her. "You won't be saying that when you're eliminated and I go home with the prize money."
"Like that's ever gonna happen," Cree scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Rachel shrugged and smirked. "I'm the captain of my soccer team back home. If I can wrangle fifteen cutthroat athletes, I'll have no trouble leading my teammates. Including you."
"You wish," Cree sneered. Rachel glared back at her. "Can we move on already?"
"Good call Cree," Chris said, smirking happily at the feuding girls. "Our next camper is Lenny!"
The boat dropped off a guy with walnut-colored skin, prominent braces, a blazer, and an uninterested look on his face. "Well this looks luxurious," he droned in a nasally voice.
"Nice to put a face to the name that has been spamming me with emails for the past three weeks," Chris said with a raised eyebrow.
"Right back at you. I was beginning to think you were dead seeing as you never responded." Lenny wrinkled his nose.
"You wanted to know if we would provide an in-house orthodontist," Chris deadpanned. Lenny stood there patiently waiting for his answer. "Dude, of course not! You will be pushed to your limits on this show, not pampered."
"God, eliminate me right here right now." Lenny breezed past Chris with a roll of his eyes.
The next boat arrived, saving Lenny from Chris's wrath. On it was a Black girl with a cool demeanor. She sported a red hat over her braided hair and wore a blue jersey with white sneakers. "What's up, y'all? Abby is in the house." She hopped off the boat with ease and high-fived Chris as she passed by.
"You know you look just like that other girl over there," Nigel surveyed the newcomer as she approached, pointing to Cree, who had a look of disbelief on her face.
Abby's carefree eyes suddenly narrowed. "Oh yeah? Just because we're both black doesn't mean-Cree?!"
"Abby?" Cree screeched, the look on her face contorted into one of horror.
"What is she doing here?!" The two of them screamed in complete and utter rage. Their surprise suddenly turned to anger as the two of them launched themselves at each other, ready to fight. Virginia and Lee caught Abby's flailing arms as Kuki and Rachel latched onto Cree. Nigel put himself in between the two girls to stop the fight. Chad snickered and leaned forward to enjoy the show.
"Did I mention that Abby and Cree are sisters?" Chris exclaimed gleefully. "And that they absolutely hate each other?"
"How did you know I was auditioning for this show?" The Lincoln sisters wailed at each other angrily as Nigel attempted to calm them both down.
"Get out of here, Baldy!" Cree cursed at the boy in the red sweatshirt. Nigel scoffed in an insulted way but did not budge.
"Yeah, this is between the two of us," Abby growled, attempting to wiggle out of the grip that the other two campers had her in.
"As fun as this family reunion is, we're on a tight schedule here so quit your squabbling girls. It's time for our next contestants who, unlike Abby and Cree, come as a pleasant package deal. Ashley, Constance, welcome to your new home for the next eight weeks!"
Two girls in identical blue and white sailor dresses hopped off the boat, eager grins on their faces. "Oh my gosh, Connie look! These are the other campers!" The taller, skinnier of the two cooed excitedly. She had pale skin and long sandy hair.
"Oh my gosh, they all look so nice! Eeee" Her friend squealed gleefully. She was short and stout with two thick brown braids and tanned skin. "I can't wait to make friends! You're my best friend, though."
"Oh of course."
"Nobody could ever replace you."
"Or you! Eeee, we're such great friends."
"Oh my gosh, I was going to say the exact same thing! Eeee!" Ashley and Constance beamed at each other before walking arm-in-arm past Chris and towards the others. "Eeee it's so nice to meet you all!"
"You too," Sonia and Kuki chirped in unison. The rest of the contestants gawked at the pair, many of them rubbing their ears which ached from all the squealing.
The next person that the boat dropped off was a lanky boy with sandy blonde hair, lightly tanned skin, and an eager look on his face. He sported a teal Yipper shirt and brown jeans.
"Bartie!" Chris smiled at the gawky boy. "The Bartmaster!" The two of them shot each other finger guns and then high-fived.
The new contestant picked up his luggage and walked down the dock towards his new companions. "Super stoked to be here," he said in an attempted nonchalant voice that failed to hide his excitement. He dropped his bag and nestled in between Virginia and Lee, doing a double take when he saw the goth girl next to him. She raised an eyebrow but mirrored his smile.
The next contestant introduced himself with an excited whoop that turned everybody's attention to him. A boat approached with a teenage boy on the larger side hanging over the railing. He wore a collared blue shirt and a brown aviation cap over a nest of chestnut brown hair. When the boat finally docked he immediately ran up to the host. "Chris!"
"Hoagie! Welcome!" Chris exclaimed, clearly happy to have an eager camper in his midst.
"Awesome to be here, man!" Hoagie grinned, slapping the host on his back which sent him sprawling. "Gosh, this is just so great. I know isle be a strong competitor this season!" He beamed and spread his arms wide, anticipating laughter. It never came. "I don't know what this competition will bring but I'm shore I'll have a great time," he tried again. Crickets. "Gosh, I'm not being a dock, am I?" Bartie gave him a half-assed laugh that cheered him up.
"Why is he talking like that?" Kuki whispered to Sonia.
"Can somebody shut this guy up?" Cree growled.
"Chill out," Abby grumbled, causing her sister to scowl at her. Rachel and Nigel stood on high alert, ready to intervene in any altercation that would come about.
"Over there, man," Chris said with a disappointed shake of his head.
Hoagie shuffled over to the other campers and dropped his bag. His eyes lit up when he saw Bartie's shirt. "Aw man, I love Yipper!"
"Really? Me too!" Bartie beamed, giving him a high-five.
"Nerds." Chad coughed under his breath.
"Well said, Chad. And here's Fanny!" Chris picked himself up from the ground right in time to herd the next contestant off the boat. She had curly red hair and a prim expression on her face.
Fanny descended and readjusted her green turtleneck and pleated orange skirt before approaching the other contestants. "You must be the other contestants," she said in a matter-of-fact, no-BS tone. She surveyed the dock of contestants like a general would inspect their troops. Her eyes landed on Sonia. "Blondie! Step forth."
"Hi!" Sonia supplied nervously as she shuffled forward. "I hope we'll be friends these next eight weeks."
"Depends. What are your top five competitive skills, go!" Fanny immediately demanded.
"Umm, I can make friendship bracelets?" Sonia supplied, quivering before the hotheaded ginger. "I'm also pretty good at baking cookies-"
"That's enough." Fanny shook her head in disappointment as she cut Sonia off. "Fall back in line. I pity whoever's team you wind up on because there's no way you'll be on mine."
"Chill out, Dude," Virginia growled as Sonia shuffled back to her spot, deflated. Lee and Kuki glared at the newcomer.
"That was, like, so mean," Constance gasped, pointing at Fanny accusingly.
"So mean," Ashley agreed.
"Like I'm gonna let you choose your own teams," Chris scoffed at Fanny. "Remove that stick from your you-know-where and pipe down! Geez, hopefully this next ginger is a little more bearable."
The newcomer he was referring to was a confident ginger boy with a leather jacket on and ripped jeans. He winked at the female contestants, all of whom raised their eyebrows.
"This is Ace," Chris introduced. "Welcome to Total Drama Island, man."
"Thanks, Chris, this is great," Ace said coolly in a Mexican accent. "Stoked for the competition to begin."
"You won't have to wait very long, Muchacho. Rounding out the ginger squad, here's our final contestant: Lizzie!" Chris cheered as Ace walked away. The boat neared, revealing the cast's third and final redhead.
"Hi everyone! Hi! Hiiii!" Lizzie cried, waving her arm around excitedly. Ashley, Constance, and Kuki waved back happily.
"How's it hanging, Lizzie?" Chris asked as she descended the boat. She had her red hair in two long braids that fell over her yellow shirt. She also wore a blue skirt and white shoes.
Lizzie spotted a camera behind Chris and pushed the host away. "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be on TV!" Is this live? Hi Mom! We're gonna be rich!"
"Ouch!" The host groaned and glared at her.
Lizzie tore her eyes away from the camera and gazed at the island in amazement. "Whoa, this is Total Drama, so cool! We're on TV! Hi guys! Ooh, who's the bald guy he's cute, dibs!" She rattled off, sharing her thoughts at ninety miles a minute. Nigel, who she was suddenly leering at, gulped and hid behind Bartie.
"And that's all twenty of you!" Chris said after counting heads. "Before we send you off, let's get a group photo for the promos!"
"I want to be in the middle!"
"Shut up, Lizzie."
After the group photo, which resulted in an angry Cree getting pushed off the dock by her sister, Chris took the contestants to the campfire area where he introduced them to the rules. "This is Camp Wawanawkwa, as I hope you know. Whoever manages to win this whole shebang will walk away with the $100,000 cash prize! The people sitting around you will be your friends, your enemies, but most importantly your competition. You will be divided into two teams. Each team gets their own cabin, boys on one side and girls on the other."
"Beds aren't already assigned yet, are they?" Cree asked worriedly. "Because I refuse to sleep in a bed assigned to me by some intern."
"No, but your teams are," Chris said with a sneaky smile.
"Can Ashley and I be on the same team?" Constance waved her hand around in the air excitedly.
Ashley nodded vigorously. "Pleeeasee, Chris? We're, like, childhood BFFs."
"I want Nigey on my team!" Lizzie cried, jumping on the bandwagon. Nigel, who sat next to her, inched away nervously.
"Hush hush," Chris rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Like I said, teams have already been chosen. Virginia, Patton, Cree, Bartie, Kuki, Wally, Hoagie, Lee, Ace, and Constance. You will henceforth be known as the Screaming Gophers!"
"What a silly name," Constance giggled to herself.
"So silly," Ashley agreed.
"They didn't even notice that they're not on the same team," Steve snickered, elbowing Lenny.
Nigel, sitting nearby, raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? In 3…2…1-"
"Wait!" The two girls suddenly wailed in unison, their goofy smiles dropping immediately.
"We have to be on the same team!" Constance cried out desperately.
"Chris do something!" Whereas Constance's eyes were filled with despair, Ashley's showed only rage.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! As I was saying, opposite of the Gophers will be the Killer Bass. Those campers will consist of Chad, Rachel, Lenny, Steve, Lizzie, Fanny, Nigel, Abby, Ashley, and Sonia."
"These names could use a little work," Lenny droned.
"Not to mirror the Wonder Twins' request but can I switch teams?" Nigel asked hopefully, raising his hand.
"Me too," Sonia whimpered slightly as she gazed at Fanny, who had only just berated her on the dock.
"I'm not even going to grace those questions with a response. While you'll be sharing your on-screen time with your competitors, there is one camera reserved for your inner thoughts." Chris pointed at an outhouse which had a halo of flies hanging over it. "Our outhouse confessional allows you to share anything you want all in the privacy of this single stall."
Confessional: Cree
"So far this stinks," Cree said with a roll of her eyes. "And Abby's here? Mom and Dad, you're so dead for keeping this from me."
Confessional: Fanny
"I'm not very impressed by the competition so far," Fanny said with a toss of her hair. She grinned. "This'll be a piece of cake."
Confessional: Hoagie
"Man, I wish I had a piece of cake right now."
Confessional: Ashley and Constance
"I can't believe we're really here, eee!" Constance squealed, clapping her hands in excitement.
"I can't believe Chris separated us," Ashley said, her previously peppy smile replaced by a sour expression. "Now how are we gonna win? Our previous strategy has to be thrown out!"
Constance's smile drooped into a frown. "Oh yeah."
Confessional: Ace
"There are some nice lookin' chicks here," Ace said with a sleek smile. "That doesn't mean I'll get distracted, though, not me. Still," he shrugged, "it doesn't hurt to have nice lookin' chicks around."
"Campers, go find your cabins. Gophers are in the East cabin, Bass in the West. Go change into your swimsuits and meet me at the top of the cliff in 15," Chris shouted, leaping onto the golf cart that a big Black man wearing a chef hat had just driven up on. "See you sooooon!" His voice echoed as he and Chef disappeared over a hill.
"Bunks beds? You're joking," Cree gasped, being the first Gopher girl to reach the cabin. She peered into the musky cabin with a look of disgust on her face.
I wanna see!" Kuki and Constance hovered behind her, attempting to peek over her shoulders. They finally managed to shove Cree into the room, which held three sets of bunk beds and other summer camp memorabilia.
"Ugh!" Cree growled from her place on the dusty carpet where she had fallen thanks to the other girls' pushing. They each took one of her arms and helped her up.
"Hey, these aren't so bad!" Bartie exclaimed as he came in behind Virginia and surveyed the room.
"I think you might be on the wrong side of the cabin," Virginia said with a bemused smile.
"Oh yeah." Bartie blushed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"That means get lost, Nerd," Cree barked, sending Bartie skidding out of the girl's side of the cabin. Virginia shot her an annoyed look.
"I miss you, Ashley!" Constance cried as she stuck her head out the nearest window and waved at the Bass's cabin.
"This sucks!" Ashley called back in annoyance, propping up her chin in her hand as she too hung out the window. "What a joke," she muttered as she leaned back and sat down on the nearest bunk with a huff.
"I think these cabins are kind of cute," Sonia chirped, misinterpreting Ashley's annoyance as a reaction to their living situation.
"Sooo cute," Ashley said in agreeance. "Hey, want to bunk together?"
Sonia positively beamed. "Sure!" She dragged her pink suitcase over to the bed Ashley was sitting on. "I'll take top bunk if you want."
"Any interest in sharing with Abby?" Abby asked as she approached Rachel. The blonde smiled and nodded.
"Wait a second!" Fanny suddenly cried out. "That means I'm with her." She pointed to Lizzie accusingly.
Lizzie had her ear pressed to the wall in an attempt to hear the boys on their side of the cabin. "I think I can hear Nigey!" She said excitedly. "Want to come listen? Keep in mind I have dibs on him though." She addressed Fanny, who turned white as a sheet.
On the other side of the Bass cabin, the boys were also deciding on sleeping arrangements.
"You know, I was kinda bummed when I heard that the girls outnumbered us on our team but I'm sure glad we only have four bros on our side of the cabin," Steve commented, stretching out lazily on one of the beds.
"That also means we have to fight for who gets their own bed," Chad commented. "And trust me, I will fight to the death for one of my own."
"Maybe we should all share? To make it fair?" Nigel suggested amicably. "Then we could store all our luggage on the empty bunk."
"Yeah that's not happening," Lenny scoffed, already unpacking his swim trunks. "No way are we going to waste a perfectly good bed by dumping our dirty suitcases on it."
"Then what do you suggest?" Nigel asked in frustration.
"I don't care, as long as I also receive my own private bed."
"How is that fair?" Nigel protested.
"The Steve will share with any of you bros," Steve said generously, opening his arms wide. "Any takers?" He was met with silence.
Across the way, the Gopher boys had figured out their bunk assignments with ease and were already unpacking. "In all honesty, this place could be worse," Bartie said as he climbed the ladder up to one of the top beds.
"That brochure sure was deceiving though," Hoagie commented from below Bartie as he taped pictures onto the wall. "As long as the food is good, I don't mind."
"Man, that's for sure." Patton swung his suitcase onto the bed above where Lee sat. "I'm starving."
"Maybe there's a buffet at the top of that cliff," Wally said hopefully, punching his pillow to make it more comfortable.
"That's very unlikely, Amigo," Ace sighed with a shake of his head. "Did you watch Chris on Live or Die: Surviving the Suburbs? That man is ruthless, I doubt there will be anything positive waiting for us up there. Hey, anyone find the bathroom yet?"
"You're not gonna like it, Man," Patton chuckled. "They're communal." The rest of the boys shuddered.
Ten minutes later, the campers were shivering in their swimsuits at the top of the cliff.
"There's no way I'm jumping off this cliff!" Fanny screeched after Chris explained their first challenge. She peered over the edge and her rage only intensified. "Yeah, there's no way."
"Oh yes, you are," Chad hissed, balling his fists in anger. "In no world will I let my team lose the first challenge. We're all jumping."
"I don't want to get my hair wet on TV," Lizzie complained, patting her two braids. "I have to look pretty for the camera." She batted her eyelashes.
"As team leader I think-" Rachel and Nigel said in unison before turning to each other in surprise.
"What do you mean, team leader?" Rachel put her hands on her hips.
"I could ask you the same thing." Nigel raised his eyebrows.
"I led my girl's soccer team to three state championships!"
"Well, my robotics team wouldn't have gone to nationals without my leadership!"
"You're both mistaken because I should be the leader of this sorry team," Fanny cut in angrily, seemingly forgetting her previous fear of the jump.
"Maybe the team leader should prove themselves by going first?" Abby suggested slyly.
Rachel's eyes lit up in excitement. "Great idea Abby! In that case, see yaaaa!" And with that, Rachel leaped over the edge, whooping as she fell.
"Oh, I can't watch!" Sonia moaned, clasping her hands tightly over her eyes. "Tell me she made it, please!"
"You can look, Blondie, she made it!" Abby cheered. The Killer Bass popped their heads over the edge to see Rachel waving gleefully from the safe zone. "That gives Abby just the right amount of courage. Later!" And with that, Abby leaped off the cliff.
"If the Dudettes did it, how hard can it be?" Steve laughed, nudging Chad. "Here comes The Steve! Cowabunga!"
"What is it with these people and speaking in the third person?" Lenny grumbled as Steve did a backflip off the cliff. He sped downwards towards the water only to crash into a buoy with a yelp. From the safety of the rescue boat, Abby and Rachel winced. With a moan, Steve slid off the floating device and into the safe zone.
"What an idiot," Chad scoffed.
The other campers' descent was enough to motivate Fanny to jump. "If I don't see the rest of you flying through the air, there will be consequences," she threatened before leaping into the water.
"That's four Bass in the water now, off to a very impressive start," Chris grinned as Fanny surfaced in the safe zone. "Will the rest of the team follow suit?"
"I certainly won't." Nigel sniffed.
"Weren't you just vying for the position of team leader?" Chad asked him, raising an eyebrow.
"Your point being?" Nigel returned the gesture.
"It's not very leaderlike to chicken out," Chad pointed out.
"After a cost-benefit analysis, I've determined that it would be much smarter to keep the team leader in one piece rather than putting his life at risk," Nigel said smoothly before squinting in suspicion at Chad. "Got a problem with that? Planning on pushing me to my death?"
Instead of getting angry, Chad shrugged. "A leader has to make these sorts of calculated decisions." Nigel nodded, satisfied.
Confessional: Chad
"What idiots," Chad chuckled to himself. "Obviously I'm the only one who should actually be team leader but I'll let Baldy and the girls fight it out while I work behind the scenes to manipulate the rest of the team. Nigel chickening out is perfect, now I can use that to my advantage and turn the rest of the team against him. Work smarter, not harder!"
"I won't jump," Nigel defiantly told the host.
Chris's eyes lit up. "I was hoping at least one of you would do that!" He crowed happily. "That makes you a chicken! You'll be forced to wear this for the rest of the day." He slapped a rubber chicken hat onto Nigel's bald head. "You're free to take the chicken path down to meet your team."
"Hey there, Hosty, give me one of those!" Lizzie rushed forward with eager eyes and grabby hands. Chris apprehensively handed her a hat and she shoved it onto her head happily. "Come on, Nigey, let's go," she said flirtatiously, grabbing Nigel's arm and steering him over to the escalator. He groaned, wriggling in her grip as they descended.
"So much for being a leader," Chad sighed to Ashley and Sonia with a disappointed shake of his head. "Looks like the rest of us are going to have to do what Nigel and Lizzie failed to do. We've got to pull our weight and jump."
"So they get a free pass and we have to jump? I don't think so," Lenny scoffed and crossed his arms.
"Too bad to hear that." Without a second thought, Chad shoved a flailing Lenny off the cliff.
"How dare youuuuu!" Lenny screamed as he fell. He slammed into a rock jutting off the side of the cliff and spiralled towards the water with a scream. His collision was just enough to send him careening into the safe zone, making his teammates on the beach cheer.
"Ladies, do you need a shove?" Chad asked innocently, turning to a shocked Ashley and a quaking Sonia.
"But Ashley and I can't jump without each other," Constance gasped from the other team, running over to clench tightly onto her friend's arm.
"Don't worry, Constance, I'm sure your new friends will give you all the encouragement you need," Ashley chirped, shooting her friend a pointed look before making her eyes well up with tears. "I'll miss you, eeee! Now come on, Sonia, let's go."
"Oh, ok!" Before Sonia could change her mind, Ashley grabbed her hand and launched herself off the cliff, taking a screaming Sonia with her. They landed in the safe zone.
"Good," Chad said with satisfaction before finally jumping off the cliff himself.
"That's eight jumpers and two chickens for Team Bass! The Screaming Gophers need to have at least nine team members jump in order to beat their opponents! Can they do it?" Chris asked as the camera panned to the Gophers. "And as an incentive, we'll throw in a cart to lug your crates in if you top them."
Lee peered over the edge of the cliff, his knees quivering slightly. Patton noticed this and put a hand on his shoulder. "Think about it, Bro, there's a hot tub waiting to be built down there if we jump. I for one am stoked for all the hot tub parties we'll have." Lee smiled and high-fived him before jumping over the edge.
"There's no way I'm doing this," Cree scoffed.
Patton, who was prepared to jump after Lee, paused and turned around. "That's too bad because your sister did it, you know," he said casually before diving in after Lee.
Jumping upon the seed that Patton had planted, Virginia quickly chimed in. "Yeah, too bad Abby isn't on our team, she would've jumped."
"Anything that brat can do, I can do," Cree hissed, taking the bait. She stomped over to the edge and wordlessly jumped in.
"Nice," Virginia snickered, gladly accepting the high-five Wally offered to her.
"Three Gophers have jumped! Will the rest follow suit?" Chris asked the camera.
Bartie gazed down at the water warily. "That's a long way down." A shark popped out of the water and waved its fin at him. He gulped.
"Need some encouragement?" Virginia innocently asked a quivering Bartie.
Excited at what that could be, Bartie nodded eagerly. "Sure! What were you thinki-AHHH!" Virginia tackled him around the torso, sending the two of them falling over the cliff's edge and into the safe zone.
"I don't think that's what he was looking for." Ace scratched his head. "I suppose it's best to follow suit." He turned to Kuki and instantly plastered on an award-winning smile. "Senorita, would you like to jump with me?"
"Why you-" Wally growled, balling his fists up tightly in anger.
"No thanks," Kuki shrugged cheerfully. "Want a jumping buddy, Constance?"
Constance, who was looking rather green in the face, nodded and smiled. "That would be great!" The two of them joined hands and dove off the edge. Unfortunately, they veered too far to the left and found themselves in shark-infested waters. "Ahh!" Constance screamed.
"Nice sharkie?" Kuki grinned sheepishly. A shark fin passed dangerously close to her and she yelped.
"Fear not, ladies, here I come!" Ace roared, whipping off his sunglasses.
"Oi! Slow down buster-" Wally began to protest but Ace had already taken a running start and hurled himself directly into the shark zone.
"What is he doing?" Cree groaned from her place safe on the beach.
"Save yourselves!" Ace shouted to the girls, who swam as fast as they could toward the approaching rescue boat. A shark came up on his left side and he punched it in the snout, sending it whimpering back underwater.
"Thanks, Ace!" The two girls cheered in unison from the boat. Ace saluted them and swam over to the boat.
"Wow," Hoagie said in awe as he watched Ace climb onto the boat. "That was pretty amazing."
"Whatever. I could've done that," Wally scoffed, blowing blonde hair out of his eyes.
"Well it looks like it's just you and me now, Buddy," Hoagie sighed, examining the ring of buoys below.
"Nah, you're on your own, Mate," Wally smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't do water, sorry."
"Don't leave me," Hoagie begged as Chris ushered Wally away but not before wrangling him into a chicken hat.
"It's up to you," Wally called out as he descended the escalator, hat secured to his head. From down below, Patton and Virginia laughed as they made chicken noises.
In an instant, Chris had a megaphone in his hand. "Well campers, there's only one of you left up here. If Hoagie jumps, his team gets the cart and a lead over the Killer Bass. But will he do it? No pressure, Dude," he added at the end, making Hoagie sweat.
"Come on, Hoagie!" Bartie cheered from the shore while Lee whooped and hollered.
"You've got this!" Kuki cheered, shrugging Ace's flirty arm off of her shoulders.
"Just do it!" Cree bellowed, her hands cupped around her mouth.
With a sigh, Hoagie adjusted his hat on his head. "If I die, at least I'll be making a splash." He grinned hopefully at the host. Chris merely raised an eyebrow. He sighed again. "All right, here I go. GERONIMO!" And with that, Hoagie stepped over the edge. The Screaming Gophers watched with bated breath as he fell through the air, finally making contact with the water and causing a huge splash. He surfaced and gave his team two thumbs up, causing them to cheer.
"And the winners are the Screaming Gophers!" Chris shouted from far above.
The Screaming Gophers practically skipped along the beach towards the campsite, towing their carts. Wally's chicken hat waved jauntily in the wind as he happily shared a cart with a smiling Kuki.
The Bass meanwhile groaned in defeat as they shoved, dragged, and pushed their crates along the sand. Rachel and Chad managed to hold their own and made significant progress lugging their loads while the rest of their team grumbled and whined.
"We're doomed," Lenny announced as he weakly kicked his crate. A crab snapped its claw up at him and he shrieked.
"Abby's not made for this kind of manual labor," Abby admitted, pushing her red hat back to wipe at her brow.
"This is so your fault you know," Fanny announced to Nigel as she used her shoulder to push her box through the sand. "I hope Chris makes you wear that hat for the rest of the season!"
"I'll admit I feel short in that last challenge but just you wait. You'll need my skills soon enough," Nigel declared, adjusting his sunglasses.
"The only thing I need is for you to be voted off this island," Fanny hissed in anger.
"We're so far behind! I don't think we'll ever make it," Sonia whimpered, peering down at her splintered hands.
"Tell me about it," Ashley rolled her eyes before realizing her mistake. "Uh, I mean, don't think that way! I can still see the Gophers, they haven't even made it there yet!"
"Ashley's right," Rachel nodded from the front of the pack. Ashley plastered a smile onto her face. "This is the first challenge and we need to prove ourselves! Not all hope is lost just yet, we just have to put our minds to it. Once we make it to the campsite, assembling the hot tub will be a cinch! So for now let's hustle and get to our destination!"
"I like the way you think, Blondie!" Steve pumped his fist in the air. "Go Bass! Let's keep moving!" Rachel glowed with pride.
Confessional: Rachel
"I'm used to making speeches like that all the time. I sure do wish it was my team I was addressing though, we could use the strength of nine other soccer players."
"I see the campsite!" Kuki crowed happily from up ahead. The rest of the Gophers whooped with excitement.
"You've made it back!" Chris called out as he skidded past on a golf cart. "Bring those boxes over to your cabins; your first task is opening your crates with only your teeth."
"Brace Face is gonna love that one," Ace snickered to Patton who grinned.
From down the beach, Lenny let out a groan. "With our teeth? Oh absolutely not, we may as well just give up now." He stepped away from his crate and crossed his arms with a huff.
"Chill out, Little Man, don't give up now," Steve said as he used his head to headbutt the crate, sending it forward. "Hey, this works pretty well!"
"Doesn't that hurt?" Abby asked with a wince, rubbing her own head gingerly.
Steve shook his head proudly. "Nah, I've got metal plates in here, Dudette. All the better for headbutting things!"
"Riiiight."
"Oh Nigey, you're so strong," Lizzie simpered as she proudly watched Nigel drag a crate through the sand with a rope. "Who cares if we win this challenge? You're a winner in my eyes."
"And that's all that matters, right Nigey?" Chad asked with a wicked snicker.
"Thanks, Lizzie." Nigel rolled his eyes and glared at Chad. "But let's win this challenge, shall we?"
"You know what would be, like, so great, Lizzie? If you helped us move these boxes to the campsite," Ashley piped up from the back of the pack.
"I am helping," Lizzie huffed, tossing a braid over her shoulder. "Helping my team captain with words of encouragement."
"If you don't have your hands on a box in the next 30 seconds, you'll be the one going home tonight," Fanny barked out from behind her wooden box. Lizzie yelped and hurried over to move the crate that Lenny had abandoned.
At the campsite, the Screaming Gophers had successfully opened their crates thanks to several crafty maneuvers that involved several sets of teeth. Hoagie wove between the boxes, peering into each one as he took inventory of the materials. "Wood, tools, tub lining, heater, yep! These are all the ingredients to make a banging hot tub!"
Bartie appeared at his shoulder and peered into a nearby crate. "What should we do first?"
Hoagie stroked his chin. "The two most important things are a solid foundation and a reliable heat source. The tub lining should be easy and the last step. Why don't us guys focus on building the tub while the girls read the instructions and figure out the heating and water."
"You heard the man, let's go!" Patton whooped, high-fiving Wally and Lee.
"Hot Tub Time Machine!" Hoagie bellowed and the rest of the boys roared in approval.
Cree rolled her eyes and made a retching noise. "Blech, what a sausage fest."
Kuki, who was standing nearby inspecting a screwdriver, looked up excitedly. "Sausages? Where?! I sure am hungry."
From across the way, Wally perked up. "Sausages? Where?!"
"I'm talking about all the guys on our team," Cree clarified in an impatient tone. "We'll never get a say in anything at this rate, mark my words." Her expression suddenly turned sly and began to inspect her nails. "Us girls should totally stick together, you know."
Kuki nodded enthusiastically. "Totally."
Confessional: Cree
"I think I've found my minion. Kuki is gullible, ditsy, and has her head in the clouds 24-7." She grinned cruelly. "She's perfect."
"We made it!" Nigel gasped as he and the rest of the Killer Bass finally stumbled into the clearing with their loot.
"Finally!" Chad and Abby groaned in unison, sagging against their crates.
Chris approached the panting Bass. "At long last! Gosh, what took you so long? You'd better get going, the other team is working their way towards their first victory."
"Some people were more willing to pull their weight than others," Fanny muttered, glaring at Lenny and Lizzie.
Choosing to ignore Fanny's comment, Lenny looked at Chris warily. "Does that teeth-opening rule still apply?"
Chris rubbed his chin in thought. "You know what? Since it's the first day and I'm feeling nice, we'll scratch that." The Bass cheered. "BUT you can't use your arms or legs to open them." They groaned.
"What does that leave us with?" Abby threw her hands up into the air. "Our torsos and heads?"
"Having fun, Abby?" Cree leered from the other side of the campsite. "Too bad you guys are totally losing." Abby ground her teeth in anger.
"Steve's head!" Rachel gasped suddenly, her eyes lighting up.
Picking up on Rachel's train of thought, Fanny turned to Steve, who was busy brushing sand out of his hair. "Ready to make your team proud, Steve?"
Steve shot her finger guns. "Whatever you need, Red. And don't forget, it's The Steve."
"Grab The Steve," Fanny commanded. She, Chad, Nigel, Rachel, and Abby advanced on Steve and picked him up before marching over to their first box.
Steve's sunglasses fell off his head. "Uh, what's going on?"
"For the Bass!" Fanny screamed as they rammed Steve's head into the side of the box. It instantly sprung open.
"Oh man, that's so brutal," Virginia snickered, elbowing Constance. "The Bass are using their own team member as a box opener."
"Nice work, Steve!" Rachel said in admiration once all of their boxes were open thanks to Steve's abnormally hard head.
"I can see outer space," Steve babbled out. They carefully set him down and leaned him against a tree. Sonia picked up Steve's fallen glasses and gingerly placed them upon his face. She received a shaky fistbump in return.
"And the Bass have finally accessed their tools!" Chris commented as the underdogs began to pull their materials out from the boxes. "But will they catch up to the Gophers?"
"Not likely," Cree sneered over the instructions manual she and Virginia were skimming.
"Abby has had it with your attitude, Sis!" Abby rolled up her sleeves and got ready to pummel her sister.
"Save the beating for after we win," Chad shouted as Ashley and Fanny jumped forward to hold Abby back.
"Stay focused, guys! We still have a shot at winning this thing," Rachel cried out desperately. "I beg of you, Bass, let me lead you in this challenge and you'll see just how useful I am as a leader. So what do you say?"
"Don't answer that," Chad muttered to Nigel and Fanny, who had opened their mouths to protest. Rolling their eyes, they joined the rest of their team in giving Rachel the thumbs up. She beamed.
"This already looks bloody awesome," Wally whooped in excitement as he and the rest of the Screaming Gophers moved quickly to bail water from the lake into their impeccably built tub.
The Killer Bass, meanwhile, worked hastily to construct their tub. With direction from Rachel, it was all hands on deck to nail together boards into what attempted to resemble a hot tub. Once all the wood was used up, Ashley, Lenny, and Sonia sped off to the lake to fill their empty buckets with water. The rest of the team clumsily assembled the water heater.
As the Gophers continued to pass buckets back and forth, Lee suddenly did a double take, dropping the bucket of water that Constance had tried to place in his hands.
"What gives?" Virginia complained, having received the bulk of the bucket's contents. She was doused from the waist up.
"Isn't that that Bass girl holding a chainsaw?" Bartie gulped, narrating what Lee had been startled by.
From the Bass's tub, Sonia suddenly paused her water bailing and frowned. "Wait, where's Lizzie?"
"You won't be winning this challenge!" Lizzie cackled as she advanced upon the Gophers' creation. "This is for you, Nigey!"
"Oh god," Nigel groaned, facepalming in embarrassment. "I can't look."
"Lizzie NO!" Rachel, Fanny, and Abby screeched in unison as Lizzie brought down her weapon on the Bass's perfectly crafted tub, cutting a large gash in the wooden structure.
"Hot Tub Time Machine, nooo!" Hoagie wailed as a jet of water spurted out of one side, sending Cree and Wally flying backward.
In an instant, the Bass had confiscated Lizzie's chainsaw and were holding the writhing girl in a vice grip. "What gives?" She growled, wiggling around furiously. "I'm trying to help us win!"
"That's foul play!" Rachel said, obviously aghast at the ginger's methods.
"I mean it wasn't the worst idea," Chad muttered under his breath.
"You're going down, Butterball," Cree growled, wiping the water from her eyes.
Chris popped up out of nowhere and surveyed the scene with mild interest. "Um, what is going on?"
Chef suddenly appeared, panting. "Crazy girl stole my chainsaw!" He complained in between puffs.
"Chris, do something!" Cree screamed, ringing the water out of her hair.
"Lizzie, while I appreciate foul play, that was completely uncalled for. Penalty for the Bass! No more buckets for you." Chris checked his watch and smiled. "Five minutes remaining, better hurry!"
"Now what do we do?" Constance wailed as she and Kuki tried furtively to stop the tub from leaking by pressing their hands against Lizzie's incision.
"I think there was a roll of duct tape in our supplies," Hoagie said as he snapped his fingers. "This isn't over yet, team!"
"Keep holding, I'll get the tape!" Virginia sprinted to the crate that held the Gopher's remaining supplies.
"You go sit over there," Fanny growled to Lizzie, pointing at the still-recovering Steve who was giggling at a squirrel up in the tree.
"You wanted me to help so I did," Lizzie said stubbornly, crossing her arms in defiance.
"Help US, not sabotage them! Go!" Lizzie grumbled to herself but stomped over to Steve and sat down with a harrumph.
Confessional: Lizzie
"Some people just don't know how to play the game," Lizzie said with a huff. "I was doing my team a favor, trying to even the playing field, you know? What idiots."
"Lizzie's little act of defiance certainly improved our chances a bit," Rachel admitted as the rest of the Gophers regrouped.
"If confiscating our buckets counts as an advantage," Lenny scoffed. "Now what do we do?"
Ashley's gaze suddenly landed on their discarded pool liner and her eyes lit up. "Oh teammm, I think I have an idea."
"I think that's secure," Virginia cried as she finished her tape work on the Gopher's tub. "All set, bring on the water!" She flipped the switch on the heater and steam immediately began to spill from the tub.
"Hurry!" Ace shouted as the Gophers quickly resumed their assembly line.
"Let's go!" Rachel, Fanny, Ashley, Nigel, and Abby raced down to the water's edge and threw the tarp in. After some maneuvering, they managed to get it submerged. "Heave!" Fanny bellowed as her teammates each grabbed a side and brought the corners together in the middle, creating a leaky package of sorts. They hustled over to their janky tub and dumped it in, raising the water level significantly.
"It worked! Great plan, Ashley." Nigel praised Ashley, who glowed with pride. "One more of these babies should do the trick. Let's hustle!"
"30 seconds remaining!" Chris's voice boomed through his megaphone. The Gophers sprinted down to the lake to refill their tarp while the Bass quickened their bucket passing. "Five…four…three…two…and time! Halt your construction! Let's see what you managed to pull together."
The twenty campers watched with bated breath as Chris inspected the Bass's hot tub first. "Bass, creative work using the tub liner as a water holder. That being said, your hot tub now doesn't have a liner."
"A sacrifice we were willing to make," Fanny sniffed. As if on cue, water began to slowly seep from the bottom of the structure.
"Aaaand your teammate went haywire and sabotaged the other team," Chris said as he and the Gophers glared in Lizzie's direction. She huffed and stuck her nose up in the air.
"It's clear we have a winner. Congratulations to the Screaming Gophers on their awesome hot tub and effective teamwork, you have won the challenge!"
The Bass whooped and hollered in celebration. Hoagie cannonballed into the hot tub, dousing the groaning Gophers in hot water.
"You mean we lost the first challenge?" Chad growled, his eye twitching madly. "No! We were not supposed to be the team heading to the elimination ceremony first!"
"Good thing you won't be," Chris said, causing everyone to stare at him in confusion. "The first challenge is a reward challenge! That means nobody is going home tonight!"
"Yes!" Lizzie shrieked, pumping her fist in the air and doing a victory dance.
"Are you sure you don't want to do an elimination ceremony tonight, Chris?" Nigel asked desperately as the rest of the team stared daggers at Lizzie.
Chris waggled his finger. "Tomorrow. And since it's a reward challenge, the Gophers get to rock the night away with an epic catered hot tub party!" The Gophers cheered.
"Thank god Chris has some sense," Lizzie said cheerfully, skipping over to her scowling team. "Right guys? Guys?"
"Your days are limited, Red," Fanny seethed as she and the rest of the Gophers walked dejectedly over to their cabin. "Mark my words."
"To the Screaming Gophers!" Hoagie toasted from inside the winning hot tub later that night. His cheer was reciprocated by his fellow teammates. Spread around the hot tub's rim was a smorgasbord of food, their reward for winning the challenge.
"This is so unfair," Fanny growled from the steps of the female Bass's cabin where she, Rachel, Lenny, Abby, and Steve sat dejectedly.
Patton overheard her and turned to look at her with a lazy grin. "Calm down, Killjoy. Come take a dip."
"And fraternize with the enemy?" Fanny scoffed, tossing her head. "I think not."
Patton shrugged and grinned. "Your loss," he said as he clinked soda cans with Virginia.
"I wasn't even referring to their stupid hot tub party anyway." Fanny lowered her voice and turned back to her teammates. "Lizzie has got to go."
"No kidding," Lenny scoffed, crossing his arms. "She messed up big time. Plus she's creepy."
"If Abby recalls, you weren't all that helpful either today," Abby said with a scoff as she picked at the decaying wooden steps with her nails.
"Hey! At least I jumped!"
"You mean at least I pushed you," Chad called from inside the cabin.
"Same difference," Lenny muttered.
"I agree that Lizzie isn't doing us any favors," Rachel said in a whisper. "But if we focus on winning, we won't even need to vote anybody off."
"I'd lose tomorrow's challenge just to see Lizzie gone," Lenny admitted. Abby and Fanny nodded.
"That attitude won't take us anywhere," Rachel said in annoyance, standing up from her spot and marching inside.
Steve, who had tuned out their entire conversation, stared enviously at the other team's party. "I wish we had a working hot tub."
Screaming Gophers: Virginia, Patton, Cree, Bartie, Kuki, Wally, Hoagie, Lee, Ace, Constance
Killer Bass: Chad, Rachel, Lenny, Steve, Lizzie, Fanny, Nigel, Abby, Ashley, Sonia
Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! While all the challenges are taken from Season 1 of Total Drama, the teams/elimination orders are jumbled. Each KND character has a Total Drama counterpart (hint: check out the OG cast's arrival order). Obviously, the original cast had 22 contestants and this version has 20 (sorry Ezekiel and Eva, you're out) but I didn't want to add any other unnecessary characters (Steve is so random but I kinda love writing him). Sooo, anyway, yeah! Super random fun story that I'm excited to keep writing! Feedback is always appreciated :) Until next time!