CHAPTER 37

After waking up the next morning, I take a moment and debate leaving now and eating something in Hogsmeade or going down to breakfast here at Malfoy Manor. Because regardless of what they say to me, I will not be staying here this week, and seeing as Narcissa did not strip me of my wand, what can they do to stop me? Especially since I know at least two people in this manor—Lucius and Bellatrix—don't want me to be here. They likely won't even care if I try to escape, especially if I don't make a big deal of it but rather abscond quietly without anyone around.

One single thing makes up my mind about whether I'm leaving now or later: Bellatrix. After yesterday, all I want to do, since I apparently cannot hurt her the way she hurt me, is make her loathe my visits to the manor as much as I do, make her hate me more, make her regret ever learning the truth about me. I'll be an absolute pest toward her.

With that in mind, I leave the guest room, the same guest room I was supposed to use during the Christmas holiday. The thought saddens me, and I try to push it away as quickly as possible.

One of the places in this manor I remember visiting during my short visit is the kitchen, so that's where I'm headed. The kitchen, which is a large, open room with tile floors and black marble countertops, is on the main floor of the manor, and it takes almost no time finding it again.

Hearing voices as I near the room, I slow down to listen.

"Yes, Cosmo saw Master Draco and the girl in the guest room when they were here for Christmas."

I reach the corner and stop.

"And what were they doing?" Bellatrix asks.

"The girl had her hand in a bowl of Murtlap Essence, Madam Lestrange," Cosmo says. "Her hand was bleeding."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"No, Madam Lestrange."

She makes a noise, then a few seconds later says, "I can manage my own breakfast. You can leave."

The loud crack of a house-elf disappearing is my cue to enter the kitchen. Bellatrix's back is turned to me as she fishes something out of the refrigerator, a pan flying to its position on a stove that seems to be working by itself. Instead of announcing myself, I cross my ankles, lean against the wall by the entrance, and fold my arms in front of my chest, waiting in silence. I don't have to wait long, for Bellatrix closes the fridge door and turns around, stopping completely when she sees me. "Morning," I say.

She recovers herself and says, a bit rudely, "You're still here."

"Obviously. I actually came down for breakfast. I should be leaving soon." As she won't try to stop me, it doesn't seem to risky to attempt to provoke her.

"And just where would you go? The Dark Lord has forbidden you to leave."

"If you want to play the role of a mother, you should start by offering to make me breakfast. Then you can act worried about where I'll be. How's that sound?" The two eggs in her hand break, and the yolk drips onto the floor. With a wave of her wand, it all disappears. "I'll take that as a 'no' then, shall I?"

The stove shuts off, and the pan moves to the side, probably to cool down. "You can make your own bloody breakfast. You spent the last few years living Merlin-knows-where. I'm sure you learnt how to cook for yourself at some point."

I laugh, kind of angrily, almost bitterly. "If by 'learnt to cook' you mean 'learnt to be an accomplished thief who stole food from Muggles' then yes. I learnt to cook." She watches me closely, a strange look in her eye, so I add, "There's not much you can cook when you're living in a cave or in some back alley somewhere or out in the woods. And if you can't find food from others, well, you just didn't eat. Learning to cook was never really possible."

Bellatrix opens her mouth to speak but stops. Instead, with a wave of her wand, she starts the stove again, the pan reclaims its place, and the fridge opens and gives up a carton of eggs, which moves to the pan. Four eggs crack themselves and drop into the pan before the carton returns to the fridge. A rather large knife slices different fruits—strawberries, oranges and apples, it looks like. "How do you take your eggs?" she finally asks.

"However they were made when I stole them."

A whisper of a smile plays on her lips before she turns her back and walks to the eggs to make them herself rather than letting her magic do it. I go to the orange slices and grab a handful; then I go to where she is cooking the eggs and hop up onto the counter next to her. I pop a slice into my mouth and watch her. Then I offer her one. She eyes it for a moment before reluctantly taking it. "Where'd Voldemort go?"

"Do not use the Dark Lord's name."

"Too late for that now, don't you think? But really, where'd he go?"

"That is none of your concern."

"If I'm to be a mother to his child someday, shouldn't I know where he goes? Or do you not even know?" Bellatrix's nostrils flare, and I actually smile at how easy it is to antagonize her. Narcissa walks into the kitchen before my mother has a chance to yell at me. "Bellatrix is making breakfast," I inform her. "Would you like some?"

Narcissa's eyes dart between the two of us, and I smile at her with my lips closed, orange still in my mouth. "Where are the house-elves?" she finally says. "Why aren't they doing that?"

"Cosmo was in here earlier, but he couldn't help me, so I sent him away."

"You wanted something so extravagant to eat that our house-elves could not make it?" Bellatrix cuts a glance at her sister, who is now standing right in front of me. "If that wasn't it, what'd he do wrong?"

Bellatrix looks at me and then at her sister. "We can talk about it later."

"No, no, don't keep quiet on my account." I offer an orange slice to Narcissa. She accepts it and begins eating. "I'll pretend not to hear any of it." Two plates fly over to Bellatrix, and she splits the eggs between the two of them. I swallow, staring at the two plates. Then I look up at her, my throat burning. "You—you gave me the plate with more?" I ask quietly.

Her eyes move over each of the plates. "A slip of the hand."

I clear my throat and almost smile at her, but she turns quickly and starts toward the large oak table, which prompts me to hop of the counter to follow her. The fruit lands on the table. The moment I sit down I begin wolfing down the meal as quickly as possible. Pestering Bellatrix did not turn out the way I had been hoping, and I need to get out of here before I grow too attached to the idea of a mother. Why did she give me the plate with more food?

"Slow down," Narcissa says to me. "I'd hate for you to choke."

I nod and slow down just a tiny bit.

"Kreacher came by earlier," Narcissa says to Bellatrix, "but he said he couldn't find you."

"Poor bugger. I'll make sure to be around next time he shows."

"Who's Kreacher?"

"A house-elf that once belonged to our family. He serves the House of Black," Narcissa says.

I nod and finish the food on my plate. "Thanks for breakfast. It was . . . actually kind of good." I stand up from the table. "Bellatrix, Narcissa, it's been—well, not a pleasure, but it's surely been something." I take a step away from them before stopping and turning back around when I realize exactly how to get under my mother's skin—it was so obvious that I'm not surprised it took so long to occur to me. "Oh, and Bellatrix, if you want to know why my bleeding hand was soaking in the Essence of Murtlap, you could've just asked me. Narcissa knows too. Umbridge uses a Black Quill in her detentions. It carves into the writer's hand and uses their blood as ink." I flash the back of my now-healed hand and wriggle my fingers at her.

"She made you use that?" Bellatrix asks softly, a strange sort of anger in her face.

"Oh, yes. I served a detention until five in the morning on the last day of term before the Christmas holiday." Bellatrix's hand curls tightly around her fork. "If you want to know why I was serving it, I'll tell you." I spare a glance at Narcissa, whose eyes have gone slightly wide. She seems to be begging me to stop talking, but I have no desire to obey her. "The night before the term was to end, Draco and I were on a date in the Astronomy Tower. We heard a commotion and rushed down to see what was going on. McGonagall was ushering Harry Potter and Ron Weasley up to Dumbledore's office. She then went and got the other Weasley children and took them to the headmaster's office."

I wave my wand and summon my bag down to me and sling it onto my shoulder. "I then lied to Umbridge to get her away from McGonagall so the Weasley children could get away from Hogwarts to be with their father, who had been attacked by the Dark Lord. That's right, dearest mum, I served a detention helping a blood traitor family." I add with a wink, "Thanks for breakfast."

"YOU DISGRACE THE FAMILY, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE—" I don't hear what else she has to say because I Disapparate. My last view of Malfoy Manor is of my mother on her feet, screaming, and a flash of white coming straight at me. When I come to a stop in Hogsmeade, a white ceramic plate smashes into my face, shattering against my cheekbone and cutting my skin. I touch my aching face and draw hand back to find bright red blood but can't seem to really care because it felt kind of good to anger her like that, especially after what she subjected me to yesterday.

A smile on my face, I head to the Three Broomsticks to wait on Tonks. Not five minutes later, I catch a glimpse of bubblegum pink hair, stand up, and rush outside to meet her. "I was afraid you weren't going to come," I tell her, glancing around as if someone might've hunted me down.

"I wouldn't have left behind a member of the Black family who is against You-Know-Who. Those are hard to come by nowadays."

"So, where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there. Take my arm." I do just that and am Apparated alongside my cousin to a street I have never been to before. She hands me a piece of paper. It says: The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place, London. I look up, and a home tears its way between numbers eleven and thirteen, pushing the buildings apart but seemingly not alerting any of the Muggles around. As the building fully comes into view and ceases its movement, Tonks burns the paper.

"What is this?" I ask.

"The Fidelius Charm," she explains as we go to the door.

"What is the Order of the Phoenix?" She doesn't answer. "Is Sirius in there?" I point to the building. She still doesn't answer, instead simply opening the door and walking in. I follow her closely, and the door closes behind us. "What is the Order of the Phoenix? Is Sirius a part of it? Where's Dumbledore? Do you know?"

She looks at me, exasperated. "Give us a minute! I promise, we'll answer all of your questions."

I nod and follow her into the kitchen. A man with shoulder-length hair and a bit of scruff on his face, seemingly doing absolutely nothing, sits at the table.

He looks up. "Tonks?" he asks, confused. "I didn't expect you until later this week."

The thought clicks in her mind, and she suddenly looks at me. "What are you doing away from the Malfoys so soon?"

"Voldemort only wanted a quick word with me, then left. I ran away."

They exchange a look. "Nice to meet you, Charlotte," Sirius says.

"Mind if we sit?" Tonks asks. Sirius motions for us to take a seat, and she and I both sit. "What'd he say?"

"Not much, just that I am important to his future or something. He really only spoke to me alone for a few minutes. The rest of the time he was there, he had me duel Lucius and Bellatrix."

"Well, go on then," Sirius says with a smile. "I need to hear this. I don't get much entertainment these days, as I'm sure you can imagine. Being locked in here."

How long has he been locked up here? Since he escaped Azkaban? "He wanted to see what I was capable of, to see if he made the right choice by choosing me—for something. He had me duel Lucius first."

"How'd that go?" Tonks asks.

"It was the first time I have ever dueled for sport, which was weird. Growing up, I didn't duel. I attacked to give myself a chance to run." Or to kill, if that was what was required. "It took him a while, but he overcame me. Then he had me duel Bellatrix."

"Your mother?" Sirius asks.

"Please don't refer to her as 'my mother.' She is simply Bellatrix Lestrange to me." They both nod, smiling to each other as if they share a secret. "I only lasted a few minutes against her . . ." I shudder. "It was my first ever experience with Cruciatus Curse."

"She Cruciated you?" Sirius says, something akin to shock in his voice, an anger in his eyes that makes me nervous. "Her own daughter? How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Sixteen."

"And she Cruciated you? That'd be like me Cruciating Harry!"

"It's fine."

"It's not," he argues. "You're a child. You're her child." He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "The House of Black will never be redeemed with the likes of her roaming around."

With a smirk, I quickly say, "I got revenge. When Narcissa helped me to my feet and I regained my bearings, I returned the curse." He laughs, his smile reaching his eyes and replacing the anger and disgust that had been there a moment before. "And it wouldn't necessarily be the same as you Cruciating Harry. You care about Harry."

Tonks frowns. "Surely she must have some ounce of love left for you."

"Oh, she loved me a great deal before I supposedly died. And the little bit of love I think she had is all gone now that I've told her how I helped 'blood traitors' and the like." I quickly explain the last conversation I had with her, and it draws smiles from both of them. "Unfortunately, the plate she threw at me was taken when I Disapparated and smacked me in the face when I got to Hogsmeade." I point to the cut on my face.

"Are you okay?" Tonks laughs, waving her wand and closing the cut.

"Yeah. And it was more than worth it, really, to see her reaction before I Disapparated." A sudden, unexplainable sadness comes over me, and I say, "But I don't really want to talk about her anymore, if you don't mind?"

"Sure," they say.

With the subject of Bellatrix off the table, silence fills its place. That's when I realize that, even though we're family, we really have nothing to talk about. So I ask the first question I had asked when Tonks and I first got here, "What's the Order of the Phoenix?"

They exchange a quick look. "It is a group of witches and wizards against You-Know-Who," Tonks says. "We were created by Dumbledore to stop You-Know-Who and his followers."

"How can I join?"

Sirius smiles. "As much as we appreciate your enthusiasm, you're not of age and therefore cannot be a part of the Order."

"So, when I turn seventeen, I can join? I want to have a part in bringing Voldemort down. If . . . if I'm going to be forced to serve him, I want to have a hand in his downfall."

"You can speak with Dumbledore when that time comes," Tonks says.

Silence falls upon us again.

"Where is Dumbledore?" I ask quietly.

"We don't know," she says, "but we're sure he's doing something he needs to and that he'll turn up when the time's right."

"Were you part of the D.A.?"

I smile. "Yes, I was. Harry—he was a great teacher."

Pride beams in Sirius's eyes, and I envy Harry having someone who so obviously loves him so dearly. Then Sirius laughs, "Even better than Snivellus Snape?"

Surprised laughter escapes me. "I've never heard him called that before! I take it you know him?"

"Went to school with him. One of our favorites to prank."

"'Our'?"

"Harry's father, two of our friends, and myself."

I smile. "Wish I could've been a part of that! Snape and I don't get along that well . . ."

"Got any stories? I could use a good laugh being locked in here all this time."

"Well, I got to Hogwarts two weeks before anyone else did. Lucius caught me, and Voldemort had me sent to Hogwarts for 'safety' or whatever—frankly, I've not been that much safer there than I was on my own, especially considering the only time anything bad ever happens to me anymore is when I'm around the Death Eaters. Anyways, I was struggling with everything—my duty, not knowing my family, things of that nature—and I was completely destroying the Slytherin common room—"

"You're Slytherin?" he interrupts. I nod, and he shakes his head in a mock-disgusted way. "Just when I thought you could actually be family."

"Wasn't Andromeda a Slytherin as well?" I ask.

"She was," Tonks says. "I told you not all Slytherins were awful."

He throws his hands up as if giving up. "Back to the Snivellus story."

"Right, right," I say. "So Snape walked in on me throwing everything around angrily, and he yelled at me because I was 'destroying Hogwarts' or whatever—as if the Slytherin Dungeons are really that important and need to be well taken care of—and I was in no mood to be yelled at, so I just kind of . . . Stunned him."

Sirius bursts with laughter. "How'd you get away?"

"I fixed the room and ran for it, what d'you think? I couldn't take on Snape when he was fully aware and ready to attack! He chased me down and hit me with the Impediment Jinx. Tried strangling me, even, until McGonagall showed up and rescued me. He later Stunned me."

"He Stunned a student?"

"Well, I'm not really a student, all things considered. He, Dumbledore, and McGonagall know I'm not a real student, and I think that's why he thought he could get revenge."

Sirius's face is alight with joy. "Maybe you can be my cousin, even if you are a filthy Slytherin." He motions to Tonks, "At least she was okay. She got out of the Black family tradition as well and was put into Hufflepuff."

"And that's better?"

Tonks rolls her eyes. "On a more important note than the ranking of Hogwarts Houses by biased students and former students," she says, "what's Umbridge been up to?"

"Nothing good, banning this and banning that. She was particularly upset about Harry's interview with The Quibbler."

"But people deserve to know the truth!" Tonks says.

"They do, and Harry had every right to speak out about what he saw that day," Sirius agrees.

"It's all right though. Fred and George Weasley got revenge for that and for Dumbledore. The professors, too, are just as bad. They can't do anything for themselves anymore. They all need the Headmistress-slash-High Inquisitor to help them."

Tonks and Sirius have a good laugh as I tell them about the Weasley twins' prank and about Umbridge running mad trying to stop everything.

We talk for a few hours after that. Sirius is surprisingly good-spirited for being in Azkaban for twelve years on a false accusation. I like to think I'd be as positive as he is, but I know that I never could be. He has a stronger spirit than I will ever have.

It's obvious that he cares very deeply for Harry, but after hearing about his close relationship with James and Lily Potter, it's no wonder that he cares so much for his godson. By what Sirius says, it's easy to see that he finds it hard to tell whether Harry is more of a brother or a son to him.

When Sirius talks about his days at Hogwarts and the friends he had there, I almost wish I could've witnessed all of that. But it seems that most of the Death Eaters who are now feared and roaming were in Slytherin at that time, which means I wouldn't have enjoyed being there. However, if I am to remain at Hogwarts for the foreseeable future, I actually kind of hope to somehow make lifelong friends like what Sirius has done. It seems to me that doing so is one of the best ways to continue at the school without struggling as I currently am.

Hours later, it's time for Tonks and me to leave, which means I will be going back to the manor and facing whatever punishment I must. Or perhaps I can just escape the best I can and hide until returning to Hogwarts.

I walk ahead of Tonks who has slowed to talk with Sirius. When I turn back around, I find them both watching me with unreadable expressions.

Whether it's because they pity me, which is probably the case, I'll never actually know, but with kind smiles they offer for me to stay at Grimmauld Place until the end of the Easter holidays rather than going back to the manor. I can hide here.

They must see something in my eyes, for Sirius then says, "It's not for free, of course. You'll need to help me care for Buckbeak, my hippogriff. And he's not easy to take care of. He requires a lot of attention and a lot of time. You'll be quite busy until you return to Hogwarts."

I smile and accept, wondering what might happen at the manor now that I'm gone and unable to be found.