CHAPTER 42
The rest of the week follows the same procedure as the first two days. Breakfast is quiet while many of us study and prepare for our examinations. Then we wait in the entrance hall for the Great Hall to be set up. Once it's ready, we get called inside one class at a time to take our exams. The only thing that changes is the subject of our exams.
The Herbology exam on Wednesday goes just as horribly as I feared. I nearly lose a chunk of my arm to a Fanged Geranium, and after that, I shakily finish the exam, my teeth almost chattering with nerves. Professor Tofty watches me with pity in his eyes as he marks something on the parchment before him. This might very well be the worst exam I have, but who knows, I could very well be wrong and some of the other exams will be even worse. Seems doubtful though. Surely I won't also lose any body parts in the others.
On Thursday, I wait outside the Great Hall once more, this time for the practical portion of my Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. The written part was earlier today, and would have failed it had I not done at least some of the reading Umbridge assigned; however, if I manage to pass this practical exam, it will be all thanks to Harry and his lessons in Dumbledore's Army.
Harry was called back moments ago with a group of students, leaving me again with Ron while we both wait for our names to be called. "Nearly lost a bit of your arm yesterday, didn't you?" Ron asks.
"I nearly died," I answer dramatically.
Ron laughs. "Herbology's not for everyone. Is it even that important?"
"Not that I can think of currently, but what if I need to know how to tame a Fanged Geranium some day?"
"Can you tame Fanged Geraniums?"
"See, I'd know that if I were any good in Herbology."
My name is called, and I enter the Great Hall. Umbridge stands at the door, watching all the students. For some reason, she seems particularly irritated with Harry—she watches him with disdain as if he spat in her face. Professor Marchbanks is my examiner once again. "Rodgers," she greets me.
"Professor."
"Oh bravo!" Professor Tofty congratulates Harry not far from where I stand. "Very good indeed! Well, I think that's all, Potter . . . unless . . ." He leans forward a little. "I heard, from my dear friend Tiberius Ogden, that you can produce a Patronus? For a bonus point . . ."
Harry smiles and, looking at Umbridge, shouts, "Expecto Patronum!"
A silver stag erupts from the end of Harry's wand and trots through the hall, drawing the attention of each examiner as they stop what they're doing and watch the Patronus glide around the room until it dissolves into a silver mist. Professor Tofty claps his hands enthusiastically. "Excellent!" he says. "Very well, Potter, you may go!"
Marchbanks looks back at me, and I begin my practical Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. Overall, it doesn't take much time, which is absolutely thanks to the confidence from learning these spells in the D.A. sessions. Harry might very well be a lifesaver in that regard.
Some fifth-years have Friday off with no exams, but because I am taking Study of Ancient Runes, I do not have this pleasure. So now I am sitting in the Slytherin Dungeons, going over my notes. There are only a few fifth-years in here with me, most of them enjoying their free time, but some of the seventh-years should be arriving soon to prepare for their exams tomorrow and will be miserable with me.
A couple of them, Zoe included of course, sit down at the table with me. "I didn't know you take Study of Ancient Runes," Zoe says as she opens her notes for whatever test she'll be taking tomorrow.
I shrug. "It's not one I put a lot of emphasis on. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to do well, but it's just not as important to me as the other classes, you know?"
"No, no, I understand." She continues flipping until she finds the page she wants.
Something catches my eye, and I reach over and pull the parchment a bit closer to me. "I didn't know you could draw." Looking directly at me from the bottom right corner of the parchment is a detailed Thestral, its dark figure outlined against what appears to be a large, clouded moon. "I thought you couldn't see Thestrals."
"I can't," she says, not meeting my eyes. "That was . . . the description someone gave me."
"This is incredible."
She clears her throat and glances at me for a second. "Well, um, thanks."
I push the parchment back over to her. "But I guess I should let you get back to studying, shouldn't I? And I should start studying again too." She smiles weakly, and silence descends as we start preparing for our exams.
After a relatively quiet breakfast, during which I study more than eat, I find myself in the entrance hall with Hermione while we and the other unlucky students who have to take exams today wait for the Great Hall to be set up. "Harry's lessons really helped with Defense Against the Dark Arts," she comments quietly.
"Yeah, I would've failed without the D.A. Joining was the greatest decision I made this year, I believe."
We're called into the Great Hall again, and our conversation dies.
Two hours later, I leave the Great Hall, a tiny spring in my step. Not because I did well (I think I might have passed, if only just) but because I am free for the weekend. I'll have to do some studying again, of course, but I'll put that off until Sunday. For the rest of today and for the whole of tomorrow, I will put the O.W.L.s behind me. I've got bigger things to worry about. And by "bigger things" I mean doing absolutely nothing other than relaxing.
A few hours after dinner, I leave the common room and make my way to McGonagall's office. She calls for me to enter when I knock on the door.
"Evening, Professor. Are you busy?"
"Not at the moment. Shouldn't you be in your House common room preparing for the rest of your O.W.L.s?"
"Well, I've already decided that all studying can wait until Sunday. I'm taking tonight and tomorrow off. And technically curfew isn't for another half hour."
She seems to accept this. "Have a seat."
After sitting down in the chair in front of her desk, I say, "I wanted to thank you, Professor. I don't think I've had a chance to do that yet." Confused, she just watches me, so I continue, "The Bird-Conjuring Charm. When I was at Malfoy Manor, I was able to use that to distract my dear Uncle Lucius during our duel. It was a great help, and I owe you more than I can say."
"I'm pleased you were able to put our lessons to use."
"Me too. I just wanted to say that I've been working on the Water-Making Spell and that I've gotten a bit better. I wanted you to know that I've not stopped practicing just because of the O.W.L.s."
There is a knock at her door, and she calls out, "Enter."
Snape opens the door. "Ah, Professor McGonagall, I thought I saw Rodgers comes this way." His cold gaze lands on me. "Do you not remember your detention, Rodgers?"
"I . . . but this isn't a lesson, Professor."
He shakes his head and motions at the door for me to leave. Sighing, I obey and follow him down to the dungeons. "It wasn't a lesson, sir. That shouldn't have counted, and you know it."
"Do not argue, Rodgers, it's unbecoming." He opens his office door and ushers me inside.
"So what do I have to do for this detention?"
He sits down behind his desk. "This was solely meant to be an inconvenience for you as you are an inconvenience for me. I have nothing planned for you to do. But if you so desire something to do, you may scrub the floors. They are looking a bit grungy, are they not?" He then smirks. "In fact, why don't you go ahead and get started on that?"
"Must I?"
"Unless you'd prefer to come back tomorrow and clean my entire office."
"I'll get started on the floor immediately."
I've only scrubbed half of his office's floor by the time curfew rolls around and he sends me on my way.
All of Saturday is spent out by the lake with the group of Slytherins I proudly claim as my Housemates: Astoria, Grant, Daphne, and Zoe. A few younger students also sit near us—Malcolm the third-year who sat with us during Quidditch and two others from his class. Not far from them are three students in sixth year with Grant. While I once thought these students were one large friend group, it seems that it is rather that they all just huddle together away from Draco and his posse and avoid confrontation but hardly spend time together outside of the common room. That works brilliantly for me, though, because trying to keep up with six other students would be entirely too much. As it is, this group of five I find myself in works perfectly for me. I know the Slytherins I do not have to avoid, and it's nice to know I don't have to go out of my way to befriend all of them.
When Sunday arrives, I stay true to my word and go back to studying.
Potions is tomorrow, and while I know the written portion well enough to receive decent marks, the practical portion will be the end of me. My time on the run provided few opportunities to learn to make potions, and even Snape's classes, stringent though they were and as mediocre as I did, have unlikely prepared me for O.W.L. standards since I started so far behind anyway.
As predicted, the written portion is fine. Difficult, sure, but decent enough that I believe to have earned a passing mark. Though I had opportunities to brew only four of the potions the exam asked about, I feel strongly that my reading of their descriptions throughout the years will have proven useful.
The afternoon practical, however, is another story altogether. While I follow the instructions and try to ensure not to skip over any piece, I run out of time, and when Professor Marchbanks says, "Step away from your cauldrons, please, the examination is over," my potion is the color of dull gray concrete rather than the bright yellow I know it is supposed to be. However well I did on the written portion will surely be sabotaged by this terrible showing.
Back in the dungeons, Tracey Davis flops onto the couch beside Pansy and sighs, "Only four exams left!"
"Only four?" Draco scoffs. "Is that all? Just one a day for the rest of the week? You act as if that's so few. That's still four full days left of this stressful rubbish."
No one argues with him, and he later takes his frustrations out on a group of giggling first-years ("Some of us are trying prepare for the O.W.L.s! So you can either shut up on your own, or I can make you shut up for good!").
The Care of Magical Creatures exam might be one of my worst. The only day I paid any attention was the day Hagrid showed us the Thestrals. Although I was able to correctly identify the knarl hidden among a dozen hedgehogs and correctly choose what food, from the large selection provided, to give a sick unicorn (all thanks to the little bit of studying I did for this class), I did not correctly handle a bowtruckle, nor did I know how to clean and feed a fire-crab without getting burned.
Even now I am making my way to the hospital wing so Pomfrey can take care of the large burn covering the whole of my right arm. With a quick wave of her wand followed by a potion applied to the skin, she declares me as good as new and sends me on my way.
The Astronomy theory exam on Wednesday goes terribly, surprisingly even worse than the Care of Magical Creatures (I refuse to tell Zoe just how poorly I remembered all the Astronomy she tried tutoring me on). The practical will not be until the evening so I at least have some time to study before tackling that subject once more.
The afternoon before the Astronomy practical is devoted to Arithmancy (or Divination for those students who chose that over Arithmancy), which is undoubtedly the most difficult exam I have taken yet. And I believe it'll be the most difficult of them all. At least, I hope it's the most difficult of them all and I can officially say that I am done with the hardest of the exams.
When eleven 'o' clock finds us, the fifth-years make their way to the Astronomy Tower for the practical exam, and we find that it is the perfect night for stargazing, the sky cloudless and still, the moonlight illuminating the Hogwarts grounds. There is a slight chill in the air. Each student sets up their telescope, and I happen to find myself next to Harry.
An hour into the exam, the lights in the windows of the castle begin to extinguish one by one. I envy the students who aren't taking exams, who aren't standing out here right now trying to figure out which stars are which, who are curled up on their beds and going to sleep. A heavy sigh escapes me, but I do my best to ignore my frustrations, instead trying to focus on the exam in what I assume is a poor attempt to pass this thing.
A bit longer into the exam, light spills out of the castle front door, six elongated shadows moving over the brightly lit path, distracting me from my work, before the door closes and casts darkness onto the grounds again. Is that Umbridge? I glance over to see if Harry noticed but instead realize that he's already completed Orion on his chart while mine isn't even halfway done. I divert my eyes back to my own paper before the examiners think I'm cheating.
I've just turned my attention back to my parchment to finish the Orion constellation on my chart when I hear the muffled barking of a large dog. Harry's head snaps up, and it's his reaction that forces me to look in the same general direction that he is. Lights come on in Hagrid's house, and my stomach plummets at the sight of the six figures that left the castle now silhouetted against the cabin.
Once several students begin peering down to Hagrid's cabin, Professor Tofty commands us to concentrate. As if that is actually going to do anything. While most of the students go back to their work, Harry and Hermione are both just as mesmerized by Hagrid's cabin as I am. They're probably watching out of extreme concern, but I'm just mostly curious. And willing to use anything to distract me from this exam. "Ahem—twenty minutes to go," Tofty says.
Hermione immediately returns to her paper. I look down at the quill in my hand but am unable to do any real work. Though I don't want to look at the cabin, it's distracting me enough that I can't really focus. A loud BANG comes from the grounds, and my curiosity begins to devolve into worry. Something's not right.
The door to the cabin flies open, and Hagrid comes out, brandishing his fists and shouting. All six people, it seems, if the tiny threads of red light are any indication, are trying to Stun him.
"No!" Hermione shrieks.
"My dear!" Tofty says, completely scandalized. "This is an examination!"
But everyone is now watching Hagrid's cabin as jets of red light fly around it. A few of those red jets hit Hagrid but appear to merely bounce off of him, cries and yells echoing across the ground, but whether they're coming from Hagrid or his assailants, I can't be sure. "Be reasonable, Hagrid!" one man shouts.
"Reasonable be damned, yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish!"
A large dog leaps at the attacking wizards, attempting to defend Hagrid, but collapses the second a red Stunning Spell strikes it. Hagrid's furious roar sends chills down my spine, my whole body going cold when he grabs the man closest to him and throws him to the ground nearly ten feet away as he were not heavier than a sack of flour. The man does not move again. Did he just kill him?
"Look!" squeals one of the girls. Light spills from the castle once more, and a long shadow rushes forward, straight for Hagrid's cabin.
"Now, really!" the professor shouts. "Only sixteen minutes left, you know!"
No one listens, all of us too busy watching the figure sprint across the grounds. "How dare you!" the person shouts. "How dare you!"
"It's McGonagall!" I hear Hermione whisper.
What is she doing?
"Leave him alone! Alone, I say!" McGonagall shouts, her voice reaching us through the darkness. "On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such—"
Bright red lights up the darkness. My body goes numb all at once, my breath escaping me in one short moment, my stomach turning and threatening to empty itself, for now no fewer than four Stunning Spells shoot from around the cabin and toward Professor McGonagall, striking her in the chest, illuminating her with an eerie glow, the blast lifting right off her feet and throwing her to her back where she ceases to move at all. Is she dead? She can't be dead! Blood pounds against my ears. Did I just watch her die? This can't be happening again. Not again.
My breaths are short and ragged as I close my eyes against the sight of her body lying motionless on the ground, but the image of her body being lifted, illuminated with red, dares not leave my mind.
"Galloping gargoyles!" the examiner shouts. "Not so much as a warning! Outrageous behavior!"
I don't understand what's going on anymore. The only thing I know is that McGonagall is still motionless on the ground. Whatever happens to Hagrid at this point, I don't care because McGonagall is not moving. While everyone watches Hagrid defend himself, I stare at the fallen professor, unable to breathe or think. I grab up my exam, which is almost half empty, and storm toward Professor Tofty. I thrust it at his chest, not caring about the fact that I am not allowed to leave, and rush from the Astronomy Tower despite the professor's protests.
Sprinting through the castle, I cast a Disillusionment Charm around myself, and by the time I reach the entrance hall, McGonagall is being carried inside, lifeless and limp. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Fear and anger boil in my blood, warming me with an intense fury such as I have not felt in five years. I cannot lose her as I lost Mrs. Stoico. I cannot lose her.
My whole body shaking, I follow Umbridge from the entrance hall to the swamp that blocks her office. Quietly—quite the feat, if I may say so myself, because of how heavy I'm breathing—I walk with her as she maneuvers her way around the twins' gift with an efficiency that clearly says she's used to it.
Rage writhes in me, propelling me forward almost against my will. With a glance around to make sure that no one is watching, I slip my wand out of my robes and follow her into her office. With one swift movement, I ram my hands into her back and shove her forward with all my might, smirking when she stumbles and catches herself on her desk, nearly hitting her face on the corner. I take the charm off. "You disgusting coward."
She steadies herself before rounding on me, obviously shocked that anyone had been following her or had the audacity to physically attack her. Before she has a chance to point her wand at me, I expel it from her hands, catch it, and throw it into the swamp, then slam her office door shut. "How dare you!" I roar.
"How dare I what, Miss Rodgers?" she asks sweetly, pretending to be not the least bit shaken about losing her wand or being attacked.
"You know damn well 'what'!"
"Oh, you mean the half-breed Hagrid?"
"I couldn't care less about him!"
She pauses, her eyes malicious. "Ah, you mean Professor McGonagall?"
I clench my teeth together and tighten my hold on my wand, which is now shaking violently. "Don't say her name! You don't deserve to say her name!"
"She was interfering with an act of the Ministry."
"SHUT UP!"
"Put your wand down, Miss Rodgers," she says diplomatically. "Minerva McGonagall is hardly worth throwing away the rest of your life for." I bare my teeth. "Put your wand down or I shall have to ensure that your punishment is even more severe than it already is." I cast the Stinging Hex at her, catching her in the face, and she collapses to the floor with a shriek. "You wicked little child!" She pulls herself up using her desk. "You shall be expelled from Hogwarts!"
As if Voldemort would ever let that happen if he believes I'm safest here.
"Go to hell."
She smirks at me as if she's already won, and that look on her face sends me straight over the edge. I throw a Silencing Spell at her, then shout, "Crucio!" She tries to screech in pain, but it's soundless, the agony written on her face. I begin laughing hysterically, taking joy in her pain, relishing her silent screams, letting my chest fill with joy and relief at the expression on her face.
I release the spell. "You think you can expel me from Hogwarts, Dolores? Do you think I fear leaving this place?" I shake my head, unable to remove the smile now plastered on my face. "No. No, this place matters very little to me. But do you know what—STOP MOVING—do you know what I do care about? Professor McGonagall."
My wand stops shaking, my anger no longer boiling uncontrollably but rather settling into my bones comfortably and fueling me in a way that almost calms me despite the voice in the back of my mind begging me to stop. I narrow my gaze at her. "Would you like to know what I did to the last fool who took someone from me?" For the first time during this exchange, fear appears in her eyes, and the enraged monster in my chest dances happily. That voice way in the back of my mind tells me that I need to get control of myself. "For the sake of time, let me just tell you that I made sure his death was not painless.
"But you needn't—WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MOVING? CRUCIO!" Her mouth drops open in a silent scream again, and I wait just a few seconds before releasing the curse. "You needn't worry, Dolores." I smile broadly and take a few steps closer to her, a laugh building in the back of my throat. "Your death will be much, much worse. Crucio!"
I wait there, watching her, laughing at her, for nearly two minutes before releasing the curse. My breathing evens out, and once again my wand trembles in my hand. I'm about to cast the Cruciatus Curse again when I hear a noise somewhere outside her door and jerk my head in that direction, suddenly afraid of what I've done. I realize immediately that looking away was a mistake, for Umbridge's heel rams into my knee, and I drop to the floor. The headmistress attempts to get to the door, and I lunge, colliding with her—we both tumble over, my side smashing into the corner of her desk. Umbridge takes my moment of pain to scramble for the door, and she has it open before I can stop her.
I jump to my feet and chase her from her office, then tackle her once more when I get close enough, sending us both crashing into the swamp. Umbridge gropes through the muck until she has her hand around her wand and has removed the Silencing Spell. A spell throws me backward into the wall. "YOU'LL ROT IN AZKABAN! I'LL SEE TO IT MYSELF!"
A moment of panic strikes me before my instincts take over and I Stun her. She lies there for a moment before I lift her into the air with the Levitation Charm and take her into her office where I drop her to the floor and take a calming breath. You know what must be done. You've done it before. Do it now. "Obliviate."
I've only made it down one floor when the severity of my actions hit me. At once I drop to my knees and gasp for air that does not come. What have I done? I know of only one person who uses the Cruciatus Curse so freely, who enjoys hurting people as I have just done.
I am the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange.