CHAPTER 44

Before even making it up the stairs from the dungeons, I realize that it's best, as a precaution, to cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself again while I dash through the castle. And it's lucky that I do because as I reach the entrance hall, I see Umbridge forcing Harry and Hermione onto the grounds. While part of me wants to know where she's taking them, I don't have time to speculate, but watching them move toward the Forbidden Forest prompts me to go in the opposite direction to leave the Hogwarts grounds.

The moment I get past all the charms that protect the castle and its grounds, once I reach the edge of Hogsmeade, I Apparate just inside the front door of Grimmauld Place. "Sirius! SIRIUS!"

Lupin darts around the corner, eyes wide and frantic as he looks at me, searching for whatever could possibly have happened to cause my panic. "What's happened?"

"Where's Sirius?" Lupin points to the kitchen, and I immediately push past him. At that same time, Sirius comes from the kitchen, and we collide. "Sirius?" I put my hand on his arm to affirm that he is really here. He's all right. "But . . . you're here . . ."

"What're you doing here, Charlotte?" he asks me, now just as confused as I am.

"But—I thought—" Not a single clear thought crosses my mind. He watches me, waiting, leading me back into the kitchen where the light is brighter. "Harry—"

"Has something happened to Harry?"

"He thinks something's happened to you." I don't understand. "How long have you been here? Have you left at all recently?"

"No," he says. "What's going on?"

"But . . . Did you talk to Harry about half an hour ago?"

"No, Buckbeak was injured. I was with him."

"Was there anyone else here?"

"Just Kreacher. Charlotte, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure. Where's Kreacher now?"

"Kreacher!" Sirius calls. The house elf appears with a loud crack. "Did you speak with Harry?"

"Kreacher has spoken with the Harry boy."

"When, Kreacher?"

"Kreacher has spoken to the Harry boy many times."

This house elf is obnoxious—annoying and evasive, nothing like Cosmo or Dobby who are happy to help. "Did you talk to him today, maybe an hour ago? Answer me! Do not lie! Answer me clearly!" Sirius shouts at him.

"Yes, Kreacher spoke with the Harry boy."

"What did you say to him?"

The elf looks around uneasily. "Kreacher said many things to the Harry boy."

Sirius looks utterly exasperated but is silenced when Lupin calls for him uneasily from the other room. He goes that way.

I turn to the little elf, "Kreacher, we need your help."

The house elf looks at me scornfully, and he fights speaking for a moment, a strange look in his eye. Then something pulls his voice from his throat. "Master Sirius's friend is a member of the house of Black."

"Yes!" I agree. "I am Bellatrix's daughter! Please help me."

His eyes grow wide, and he almost seems happier now than he was a moment before. "Madam Bella?" he asks, his voice light. "Yes, Kreacher can see her in you." He seems proud to have said this despite the nausea rolling through me at his words. "Kreacher told the Harry boy that Master Sirius was in the Department of Mysteries. Kreacher said that Master Sirius will never return." He laughs a creepy little laugh that fills the room with an inescapable chill. I do not like this elf.

"Sirius!" I call, running to the front door where Lupin's voice had been, but they aren't there. I dash up the stairs. "SIRIUS!" He and Lupin emerge from one of the bedrooms and come toward me, panicked. "Harry believes Voldemort has you in the Department of Mysteries!"

"We just got word," Sirius says. "The Order is on their way. Harry has escaped with some other students and is on his way there. He's in danger." They rush past me, heading back down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I say, following closely.

"The Department of Mysteries!"

I grab his arm. "It's not safe for you! You can't go!"

"Harry's in danger! I'm going!"

I pause. "Let me come with you!"

"You are not part of the Order," Lupin says. "You can't. You need to get back to Hogwarts before Umbridge realizes you're gone."

"And just let the two of you go? You could die!"

"I don't have time for this! I have to save my godson!" Others begin arriving at Grimmauld Place, most of whom I met over the Easter holidays (not as Charlotte Rodgers, of course, but as some other person).

"Lupin!" I say. He looks at me. "How did the Order find out so quickly?"

He shakes his head and says, "You should go. Now."

I only partly obey him, Apparating to Malfoy Manor rather than to boundary of Hogwarts, straight to the dining room, this awful place that has ruined my life so many times before. "BELLATRIX! BELLATRIX!" I shriek, aimlessly running through the manor. "BELLATRIX!"

My mother appears in front of me, and I collide into her. I catch myself from falling and grab her arm as well to keep her from hitting the floor. "What are you doing?" she hisses at me, her voice annoyed.

I look down at the hand that's still on her arm. Why did I come here? Why did I let myself do this? Tears sting my eyes. You know why you did this. I'm just like her—I tortured someone just like she would. A surprised but suspicious expression flitters across her face for a brief moment. I clear my throat and release her. "What is he planning? What is the Dark Lord planning at the Department of Mysteries?"

"I don't have time for this," she says, tightly digging her hands into my shoulders, spinning me around, and pushing me where she wants me to go.

"Because of what's happening at the Department of Mysteries?"

"I don't know how you know that, but you need to forget it." Is she taking me to the basement? "You need to leave. Go back to Hogwarts. Now."

"What? No!" I thrust my hand into my robes for my wand but haven't even touched the familiar cherry wand before she shoves me to the hard stone floor. I roll onto my back and look up at her to find her wand pointed directly at me. "Are you going to Cruciate me now? Get your revenge for the Easter holiday?"

"Bellatrix, it's time," Lucius's voice interrupts us. The man walks around the corner, his face hardening. "You. What are you doing here?"

"She knows about the Department of Mysteries," Bellatrix says to him, not removing her eyes from me.

Lucius smiles triumphantly. "Is that so?" He seems entirely too happy about this. "The Dark Lord will love to know that she has escaped Hogwarts and has discovered where we're going. Take her to the cellar—"

"I don't take orders from you." Then she smiles wickedly. "But the cellar . . . Yes, what a wonderful idea." With a flick of her wand, ropes spring from the air and wrap themselves around me. Then an invisible force lifts me just off the floor but keeps me parallel to it. Bellatrix walks with my floating body, no longer going in the direction of the basement. Instead, she's taking me to that wretched little cellar I was trapped in when Lucius first caught me. "How did you sneak by Snape?"

"I don't have to answer you." The ropes tighten, and a whimper escapes me.

"I don't believe I caught your answer."

"He was called away by Umbridge," I lie. "It was easy enough to get out of the castle after that."

She directs me through the drawing room and stops when she gets to the stairs leading down to the cellar. Bellatrix pulls my body upright, not removing the ropes, and lets me stand on my own feet. Her eyes watch me for a moment before she walks toward me and plunges her hand into my robe pocket to remove my wand, twirling it in front of me tauntingly. "You won't be needing this." Then she tosses it onto the table a few feet away. With a flick of her wand, the ropes melt away from me, and her magic lifts me off the floor so that I can't run away.

"Wait, wait!" I plead as she walks me down the stairs to the cellar. "Wait, please, please don't lock me in here!"

"I'll do whatever I bloody well please with you." She opens the door and forces me inside. "You never should've come here."

I drop to my knees before her and will the tears to come back to my eyes. "Bellatrix, please," I whisper, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly between my own. "Please don't lock me in here again. I can't—I can't—I can't stay in a place like this again." I meet her gaze, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. "Please, please, I'm so scared. I can't be helpless again, please. Please don't lock me in here."

She jerks her hand away from mine. "I don't have time for this."

"Wait!" I call after her as she starts to leave. "Wait! You're my mum!" She pauses, her back to me, the door half-closed. "Please, please don't lock me in here, I can't be locked away like this again!"

She takes a breath, then leaves, closing the door loudly behind her.

I sigh and slap the floor. That didn't work.

How. How. How. How did I manage to get myself locked in this wretched little dungeon once more? How is my luck this awful? Why did I think Bellatrix would answer me, after everything that's happened between the two of us? I shouldn't have let myself come here. Merlin, I am going to be in so much trouble when Voldemort finds out that I left Hogwarts. Even worse, he might decide that Hogwarts is not as safe as he imagined. He might decide to lock me in a room similar to this dungeon until he decides it's time for me to fulfill my duty to him. I could very well just disappear from society altogether, and no one would ever know what truly happened to me.

And as much as I enjoyed threatening Snape about Voldemort punishing him, I don't want him being harmed because I left Hogwarts. While we might not get along all the time, he doesn't need to be tortured because of me. He's nice enough at times that I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if Voldemort harmed him severely because of my choices and actions.

I don't know how long I sit there, trying to think of a way out of this place, but it's likely much longer than necessary.

With really no other choice, I rush at the cellar door and begin kicking it and banging on it with all of my might. "NARCISSA! NARCISSA! HELP ME! NARCISSA! NARCISSA! CAN YOU HEAR ME? I SHOULDN'T BE HERE! I HAVE TO GET BACK TO HOGWARTS! PLEASE!"

I wait for a moment, hoping to possibly hear something, but there is only silence. "NARCISSA, PLEASE!"

There is a loud crack! behind me, and I turn to see none other than Cosmo. "Are you the cause of the noise?" he squeaks.

"Um, I—I guess so?" I say, my throat beginning to ache from my screaming.

"Madam Narcissa told Cosmo to see where the noise was coming from. Why is Master Draco's friend here?"

I smile, relieved. "Cosmo, could you go tell Narcissa that I'm here?"

He disappears, and I laugh at my own good luck. Just a few minutes later the cellar door opens, and I throw my arms around Narcissa. "Thank you, thank you," I breathe. "Thank you."

It doesn't even occur to me how stiff she is until she says, quietly, "Charlotte, why are you in here?"

"I left Hogwarts." I release her. "I had to—I had to find out what's going on at the Department of Mysteries. Bellatrix found me, locked me in here. No surprise there, right?" I move to get around her, but she stops me. "Nar—Narcissa?"

"Why did your mother lock you in here?"

"Lucius convinced her that it would be good for the Dark Lord to know that I had left the school, but I have to disagree with him."

She watches me silently.

"Draco will be in danger if the Dark Lord finds out that I left. And neither of us wants that." I should feel bad about lying, but I don't, despite the fact that she has been so nice to me recently.

"Draco?"

"He knew I was leaving but did nothing to stop me. Don't let him be punished because of me. Please, let me go." My aunt nods acquiescingly, walking me out of the dungeons. I run over to my wand and snatch it up, then look back at her and smile as kindly as possible. "Thank you."

"Get back before people begin to notice your absence."

I Apparate to the Forbidden Forest, and a shiver of fear pulses through me. This place is the worst. I start running, allowing my adrenaline—born partially from anxiety about Sirius going to the Department of Mysteries but mostly from the fear of knowing I was almost trapped in the manor indefinitely again—to propel me forward as quickly as my legs will move. What will happen when Bellatrix tells Voldemort what I've done? Thinking of Voldemort makes me speed up even more, precariously dodging around trees and roots. It occurs to me entirely late that I should take out my wand for light.

I plow into something and take it to the ground with me, what I assume to be a tree branch ramming into my stomach. I cough, rolling onto my side, away from the cause of my pain, and place my hand against the spot on my belly that will undoubtedly be badly bruised. Leaves being ruffling behind me. It's alive! I scramble away on my hands and knees and pull out my wand. "Don't move!" I shout, still lying on the forest ground. "Lumos!" Light lands on Snape's face, which is a few feet away from me. He, too, has his wand drawn. "Bloody hell! Why don't you watch where you're going!" I pull myself to my feet, bracing against a tree, still coughing from what I now assume was his elbow that had been jabbed into me, not a branch as I had originally thought.

"Rodgers?" he sneers. "I see your attempt of finding your cousin ended poorly."

"Actually, Professor," I say, "I found him. He was at—he was fine. Until he learned that Harry has gone to—" I stop. "He's fine for the moment, thanks."

"Lower your wand."

"Lower my wand in the Forbidden Forest when you're still pointing yours at me? No, thank you." I pause, something just occurring to me. "Wait a minute—what are you even doing out here?"

He wavers, his mouth opening as if to answer but then snapping shut again.

"Aww, Professor, I'm touched," I say sarcastically, "did you come searching for me?"

"Not a chance," he says seriously, "I was looking for . . ." He drifts off. "Never you mind what I'm doing out here. We should go back to the castle now."

"I don't think so. I'm going to stay in here for a while longer."

"Put your wand down. We're going back to the castle now."

"I don't think so." I spin on my heel and start away from him.

"Don't walk away from me," he says. "I cannot allow you to wander through here. There are creatures that could devour you within minutes."

I glance over my shoulder at him and keep walking. Then a spell hits me in the back and throws me onto my face on the ground, the taste and grit of dirt on my tongue. "Like you so brilliantly pointed out, the Dark Lord will not be happy with me for letting you wander around, especially not in a place as dangerous as the Forbidden Forest."

"Protego!" I whisper, hopping up to my feet. "I also don't think he'd be happy with you attacking me."

He smirks at me, but I bite my tongue and turn again, walking away from him. Another spell hits my shield.

I round on him, my wand aimed at him.

"Come with me to the castle," he says.

"No." Again, I turn to walk away from him, and again another spell hits my shield. Quickly, I turn, release the shield, and send a jinx at him that he easily deflects with a shield of his own. He raises his eyebrows slightly.

A hex flies at me, but I cast a shield again. "This is not wise," he says, "though no one could ever accuse you of being such. Come back to the castle with me. You are not a real student, and I therefore have no qualms about—"

I throw the Bat-Bogey Hex at him, cutting him off. He roars in pain as my hex takes effect, but he quickly casts the Impediment Jinx at me once again—it throws me through the air and slams me against a tree. My back pops painfully, and I whimper to myself before casting another shield again. Another of his attacks bounces off of it but weakens it. He flings some of the forest's rocks at me until the shield fails and one manages to whack me in the head.

I groan and push to my feet, pressing my hand against my bleeding head. After a short breath to calm, I cast the Cheering Charm at him to distract him but do so with a bit too much of a heavy hand, and he bursts into a fit of laughter. It's the first time I have ever actually heard him laugh, and it's actually sort of comforting—it's a silent laugh, but every so often, when he's trying to catch his breath, a deep, happy, throaty sound escapes him, and I stare at him, completely mesmerized. He doubles over with laughter and wipes a tear from his eye, and the longer he laughs, the worse my fear grows as the sound and sight of him laughing begins making me uneasy and impossible to move. He regains control long enough to take the charm off himself, then looks at me with nothing but fury.

I quickly charm the rocks he has already used against me and fling them at him. He deflects a few, but one hits him in the knee rather brutally. He grunts and grabs his injury. Then he points his wand at me and shouts, "Incarcerous!" Ropes burst from his wand and wrap around me. I collapse to the ground, straining against ropes for the second time in a few short hours. "Shall we go to the castle now, little Miss Lestrange?" I know he's using my true last name strictly to antagonize me, but it doesn't matter why he's doing it because it's working. I growl at him as I try in vain to free myself from the ropes. "I think it's time we go back to the castle." The ropes tighten around me, and I yelp as they dig into my skin. They tighten again, as if encouraged by my pain.

I turn my wand to face me and whisper, "Diffindo." The spell cuts the ropes away from me but also gashes deeply into my skin. I bite back a wail, preferring not to let Snape know that I've just sliced myself open. The ropes fall away, and I stand up uneasily, wincing from the pain, ignoring the blood trickling down my leg and side. I throw the Impediment Jinx at an unsuspecting Snape and knock him backward, sending him crashing into a tree. Before I have a chance to say another thing, the red light of a Stunning Spell comes from the end of his wand and hits me in the chest.

I open my eyes to find Snape standing over me. "How-how long has it been?" I croak.

"A minute," he says. "I awoke you." He waves his wand and pulls me to my feet. "We're going back to the castle now." He shows me my wand, which is now securely in his hand.

I don't argue anymore—he has my weapon, and any attempt to fight back now would be fruitless and would likely just result in much more pain. I touch my side and find that the gash has been healed and the rip in my robes has been stitched back together. I say nothing about this as I follow him. "How did Harry and the others escape?"

"Thestrals," he says. "They flew them all out of here."

"Who have you seen die? To be able to see the thestrals?"

He looks over at me. "I'm a Death Eater," he says in answer. I guess that means he's killed a lot of people or at least as seen a lot of people die. I don't push the question, not while I am weaponless and in the Forbidden Forest with him.

Halfway to the castle my mind goes back to my mother and her locking me up, and I stop and bend over, bracing myself on my knees. "Professor, I've done something stupid," I whisper.

"Yes, that's abundantly clear. You have a certain penchant for that."

"No, you don't understand."

He slows his pace and turns to me. "Rodgers—"

"I hurt someone." I look up at him, real tears in my eyes now, not the fake ones I tried to use against Bellatrix. "Something's wrong with me."

"Rodgers." He steps closer to me.

"I couldn't stop myself."

"Rodgers—"

I take a deep breath and force myself upright, realizing that talking about this with him is the very last thing that could ever help me. The idea of his knowing how alike I am to Bellatrix—especially because he likely already sees it and has known her long enough to see the warnings signs in me—makes me feel nauseous. "Let's go to the castle."

"Rodgers—"

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?" He opens his mouth as if to say something else, but I cut him off with, "I regret saying anything at all, and I don't want to talk about it with you. We're not friends, and you hate me. Surely the last thing you want to do is listen to my woes."

He narrows his eyes at me, and while it's clear that he doesn't want to let this go, getting back to the castle must be a priority because he does not press me further.

I follow him all the way to his office and take a seat across from him. "Can I have my wand back?"

"Not yet."

I lean heavily back into the chair. "What are we waiting for?"

"Would you like to tell me what—"

"No."

He watches me for a moment but still does not give me back my wand. Instead, he turns his attention to something on his desk.

I pull my legs into my chair and try to find a comfortable way to sit.

Nearly an hour of rarely disrupted silence later, his office fireplace, which is behind his desk, burns green fire, and a piece of paper flies out of it. Uncomfortably calm, Snape goes and picks it up. His eyes read over it, then he looks at me. Before he says anything, his eyes move back over the parchment. He sighs and meets my gaze. "Sirius Black is dead," he says. "And Dumbledore has returned."