Peter was suiting up for patrol when his phone rang.
He picked it up to see 'DD' pop up across the screen, and he answered it almost immediately.
Matt didn't give him a chance to say anything before jumping right in. "Hey, Pete. There's a job that we kinda need some help with, I was hoping you could pop in."
Peter was absolutely thrilled Matt asked for him until a bit of suspicion wormed its way into him. " 'We?' Who's 'we?' " If Matt had somehow roped Mr. Castle into this, Peter would say no just to preserve his own sanity.
"Me and Wade."
"Oh." That's… not what he was expecting.
Peter smacked the emblem on his chest and the suit suctioned to his skin. He pulled his backpack on just as Matt said, "So, you in, kid?"
"Yeah. I don't see why not." Peter held the phone between his chin and shoulder and cracked open his window, shooting a web and swinging out. "Do you have coordinates?"
"Um-" A loud scratching noise cut him off, so grating Peter dropped his phone. He swore under his breath and shot a web just in time, catching it before it smashed into the ground. When he shoved it back under his chin, Matt was yelling at someone (presumably Wade) away from the phone. "God damn it, Wade, why can't you just keep it still for five minutes. Five fucking minutes! That is all I ask."
Peter bit back a smile, afraid Double D would be able to sense it through the phone.
"So it's a no on the coordinates, but we're at a warehouse in Harlem, West 158th Street, right now. It's not that hard to miss, all the windows are boarded up and there's a big tarp covering the front door. Just waiting on yo-"
There was a sharp crack, like Matt dropped the phone, and chaos erupted on the other side of the connection. Indistinct screaming and banging flooded through the speakers, so loud it left Peter wincing and leaning away from it. More indistinct screaming came through, and then all of a sudden Matt's voice cut through the commotion.
"PUT THE FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER DOWN!" he roared.
Peter couldn't hold it back this time, laughing so hard he almost fell off his web.
"Yeah." Matt eventually picked the phone back up. "Ha ha ha. Laugh while he blows us all to hell. Unlike someone," there was a pointed silence, and Peter could practically see Matt glaring at Wade. "I don't have an insta-healing factor."
"Sorry, man," Peter laughed. Matt just sighed. "I'm on my way right now."
"I truly don't understand how a grown man can't understand that explosives in a confined space is not a good idea. I swear to God, he just does it to antagonize me."
"You are right!" Wade hollered from the background.
The line went dead.
He pulled his phone away from his face, confused, just to see the call ended page blinking up at him. Peter just hoped Wade didn't blow Matt's phone up. That would kinda suck for the both of them.
Peter shoved his own phone into the belt of his suit. God, he missed Karen. It was so difficult to keep track of his phone on patrol, but it was a necessity now that he didn't have her to take care of calls or texts automatically.
Honestly, Peter wasn't really sure why he said yes to this job so quickly. Daredevil, as Ned so kindly pointed out, might as well be part of the "big leagues" in most people's eyes, and Deadpool's known to just be dangerous, whatever side he's gunning for.
If Toomes taught him anything, it was that he wasn't one hundred percent ready to handle more advanced threats. He could do it, there would just be collateral. That's why he decided to go after Kingpin, thinking that he would easily be able to bust the figurehead of the mob, but it all dissolved so quickly it left his head spinning. Why was he going after someone who has countless resources in New York, employed one of the most ruthless mob organizations in the world—that he knew of—, and put a hit out on him? He'd only managed to beat Matt once over the last three days—but the satisfaction from the stunned look on his face was more than enough in his book.
So yeah, maybe a part of it was just to spite Mr. Stark, but it was just a small part. Okay, a big-ish part. But whatever. It's not exactly like he took Peter seriously anyways.
The warehouse came into view before he knew it. Peter slowed his pace a few building out to avoid making his presence known to any potential sentries outside the building. He gracefully slipped off his web and grabbed onto the side of the building across the street from the storage place.
It turns out there was no need for secrecy. Upon closer inspection, no one was posted outside the warehouse. Peter didn't know if he could chalk that up to it being broad daylight or the inhabitants just being lazy.
Figuring Matt and Wade were inside, he circled the building before finding a window that wasn't boarded up. He carefully stuck his fingers to the glass before applying steadily increasing pressure, and the glass pane popped out of place easily. He stuck it to the outside of the building before crawling quietly through the window, hovering on the wall above the loft of the warehouse.
Matt and Wade were already there, crouched in the far right corner overlooking the main floor of the warehouse. They were decked out in their respective suits, and arguing over something. From the looks of it, Wade was winning. Their backs were to him though, and he grinned to himself as he silently made his way across the wall so he was directly behind the pair. He pushed off the wall and easily got to the end of the loft.
"Hey guys." Peter landed lightly behind them, and while Matt remained as calm as ever, Wade jumped so hard he almost fell over the railing.
"Holy shit, Spider-Kid." Wade shoved him, sending him stumbling back a few steps. Peter just grinned and took it, eventually coming back close to them.
"So what's the plan, Double D?" Peter asked and hunkered down beside them. He had to push a large, heavy duffel bag for him to do it, and Wade grabbed it away from him defensively.
Matt's head twitched to the side for a moment before he started. "Some suspected members of the Colombo crime family have been seen associating with a group of rogue… ninjas." He said it like it pained him. "The plan is to incapacitate and/or get them arrested, and find out where the Yakuza are operating from if we're lucky."
Peter nodded his head slowly, digesting the information. He made it sound easy enough, but most things he got involved in usually went horribly wrong.
"Hm. Yakuza," Wade mused. "That's such a good name. Yakuza. Rolls right off the tongue."
"It literally means useless," Matt muttered. As usual, Wade ignored him.
"Ya-ku-za," he repeated again, drawing out the syllables. A brief moment of silence passed, and then he asked, "Matthew, why don't we have a team name? We should have a name. Like the Avengers. Revengers. X-Men."
"Who?" Peter wasn't sure he recognized the last one.
"How about… The Spandexed Superheroes?" he suggested, completely ignoring Peter.
"I'm hoping that was intentionally bad," Matt growled. Wade was silent. He sighed. "Wade, neither of our suits are made out of spandex. I honestly don't even know if Peter's is either."
He just shrugged. He didn't know either.
"You're so horribly critical matthew," Wade groaned. He paused before snapping his fingers. "I got it! The Terrible Trio." He ominously spread his hands, looking like a villain from a silent film.
Peter shot that down before Matt could even open his mouth.
"Jesus, you guys are so negative."
"Heads up, guys," Matt butted in before Wade could say any more. "We have some cars coming down the streets, and I'm almost positive they're our guys. Peter, you stay up here and act as our eyes while Wade and I take care of the things on the ground."
He couldn't help his sigh of disappointment. But he nodded his head in agreement and the other two took off down the stairs to the cluttered first floor.
Peter shot a web and swung to one of the metal support beams at the top of the building so he could get a good look at the building. Most of the ground was stacked with wooden boxes and construction pipes, but there were a few bare spots by the entryways and walls. Wade followed Matt to the main door, leaving the right side entrance uncovered, and both of them disappeared behind one of the clusters of boxes.
Peter kicked his legs over the side of the beam and took a seat on the metal strip. "What can I offer?" he grumbled sarcastically. "I only have, oh, you know, actual superpowers. But noooo, make me stay up here while those two idiots blow the whole operation."
"I heard that!" Matt yelled from his spot between the construction pipes.
"Fine. One idiot," he amended.
Peter's enhanced hearing picked up on Wade whispering to Matt, "Hm. Fair."
"Wade!" Peter called as quietly as he could. "Go to the right. We need all the entrances covered."
He shuffled over right in time, because just as he hunched in the corner, Peter heard the sound of car doors slamming shut just outside of the building. He swung his legs back up so he was tucked in the shadows of the ceiling and looked over to see if Matt noticed their company. After giving a thumbs up in confirmation, he slipped back behind the boxes.
The main door was pushed open, and about thirteen people came through the tarp hung over the front. Peter fidgeted on the beam, not sure what to do with himself as the gang members trickled through, talking to each other loudly.
So he just let himself wait and watch as the heavy door closed behind the last of the gang. Peter slid carefully along the beam, edging closer and closer to the wall. He wasn't too worried about being seen, but he wanted to stay as quiet as possible anyways.
Matt waited for about thirty seconds, waiting for everyone to gather together, before he made his move. Apparently it was a predetermined signal, because Wade launched right in alongside him.
The fight was quick and dirty. Matt made quick work of the dudes towards the back of the group, hitting them in the nose or kicking them in the chest, then following it up with a punch to the jaw or temple or back of the head to knock them out.
Wade opted for a more direct approach, jumping right into the middle of them all and using his iron knuckles and other assorted hand weapons to take them down, not caring how much damage he caused. Peter thought for sure he was going to be overwhelmed, but he was holding his own pretty well.
He was just about to loudly complain about how boring and monotonous this all was when he noticed a guy sneaking up on Wade, drawing a horribly familiar weapon as he approached from behind.
Before he could get any closer to Wade, Peter snapped a web at him, pulling him into the air and plastering another one over his mouth. Fast as lightning, he used the first web and wrapped it snugly around his arms before attaching another web to the bottom of the man's feet and tying the other end around the support beam. He snapped another web at the dropped sword, catching it before it hit the ground, and stuck it to the ceiling.
"First impressions are important, you know. I have the feeling that stabbing Deadpool in the back is a pretty negative one, so, you're welcome." He left the guy wiggling against his restraints and hopped across the beams.
He didn't have to fight any of the other gang members. Matt and Wade had already taken care of them by the time he landed softly beside them.
"No guns? No knives? No weapons of any kind?" Peter remarked. "For a notorious crime family, they're really unprepared. Aside from, like, one of them."
"Yeah, it was great and all, but," Wade started amiably, "now all our intel's unconscious. With possible brain damage. What now?"
A lightbulb went off in Peter's mind. "Well," he smiled. "Not all of them."
Wade followed his gaze towards the rafters, where his would be attacker dangled. Matt smiled savagely.
"One second." Peter swung back up to the top of the beam and leaned over, grabbing the web stuck to the bottom of the guy's feet about six inches from the top. He whipped some web dissolvant out from his belt and poured it over the slack between his hands and the beam, holding on to the remainder of it as the web burned through. Peter dropped the guy slowly to the ground and jumped down after him. He didn't bother with the makeshift gag or arm restraints.
"Double D, do you recognize that sword up there?" he asked, pointing up to the ceiling.
Matt didn't even glance at it before he said, "I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's one from Sunday night. One of the Yakuza's weapons."
Peter nodded. "That's what I was thinking. It would make sense, too, with them working together and everything, but I just wanted to make sure. His wardrobe is a little bit different," he said, smiling.
"He's just a runner," Matt said simply. "That's why he's in street clothes. It's less likely to alert civilians that there's a trained killer in front of them on the sidewalk."
Peter couldn't tell if he was being funny or completely serious.
"If I had to guess, I'd say the guy over by the rope coil is his partner," he continued, nodding his head over to one of the guys Wade took out. "He has one under his shirt."
Peter walked over to the guy he mentioned and pulled his shirt up, and sure enough there was a carbon copy of the katana strapped across his back.
"Unfortunately for us, these guys don't talk."
Peter whipped back around, staring at Matt. "What?"
"They're trained to take death over giving anything up. We won't be getting any location out of him." Matt marched over and planted himself directly in front of the Yakuza member, letting the man glare at him for a few seconds before swiftly knocking him out.
"So we're fucked," Wade huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Peter felt a sinking feeling in his chest.
But Matt cocked his head to the side, thinking. "Not yet," he finally said. "You two try to get one of these morons up," he gestured to one of the limp bodies around him, "and I'll scope for some evidence. Maybe the Colombos are as stupid as I hope and left something laying around that could help us."
He disappeared into the warehouse, and Peter glanced over at Wade. He just shrugged and strode over to one of the unconscious bodies, dragging him over and dropping him at Peter's feet.
Peter kneeled down wordlessly and grabbed the guy around the shoulders, shaking him awake. He probably used a little more force than necessary, but it woke him up.
The gang member groaned and blinked his eyes open, and Peter let him fall back to the floor so he could regain his senses. There was already a huge bruise spreading over his temple, courtesy of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen himself. But it apparently didn't take long to shake off, because he took one look at Peter's masked face and shoved him away, scrambling to his feet and taking off.
Peter rolled his eyes at the pathetic escape attempt and flicked his wrist. A web shot out and glued itself to the guy's shirt, and he pulled him back to the wall easily.
"Come on, man, you are really screwing up my night," Peter whined and covered both his wrists in webs, preventing him from getting any further.
Wade grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him to the side, away from their new captive. "So, how're we gonna go about this interrogation?"
"I have no idea," Peter said, stunned he was even asking him. "I was kinda hoping you would take point."
"Hm." Wade stroked his chin over his mask, the perfect picture of mock thoughtfulness. "Are you up for some Good-Hero-Bad-Hero?"
"I'm pretty sure saying 'bad' in front of 'hero' completely defeats the purpose of word, but," Peter muttered, "sure. Why not."
Wade cracked his knuckles before popping his neck. "I knew you were fun. Matthew never lets me do Good-Hero-Bad-Hero. Says I get too 'into it,' whatever that means." He stopped stretching his various joints and ligaments and turned back to Peter. "Do you want Good or Bad?"
"Um." He was trying not to flounder. "Good, I guess." It sounded like a question more than anything else.
Wade nodded. "Makes sense. Fits the image and all. But I have to say, I'm pretty disappointed I don't get to see Dark Side Spidey."
Peter grinned. "Sorry to disappoint." He took a couple of steps towards their new interrogee. "Are you coming or not?"
Wade huffed out a laugh and easily caught up to Peter. "Ooh. little tip." He tapped his pointer finger on Peter's chest. "Try to stay quiet as long as possible. And do less Good-Hero and more… Okay-Hero. We can't have him thinking he actually has any friends here," he said with a laugh. He quickly took the lead and knelt in front of the squirming—but silent—gang member.
Wade pulled a revolver out from his weapons belt and popped open the cylinder. Then, grabbing a single bullet, he flashed it in front of the gang member before placing it gently inside the chamber. Giving it a spin, he tapped the cylinder back into the body of the gun and stood back up.
"See this?" He tossed the loaded gun into the air and caught it effortlessly. "This is my hand-held polygraph. I find that it works a little bit better than the one you would find in a police station. Because instead of going to jail," He shrugged. "you die."
Now Peter knew what Matt meant by getting too into it. He almost had to do a double take to make sure this was the same person who he'd walked in with.
Wade aimed it at the guy's forehead effortlessly. The careless, one-handed hold he had on the gun was in complete opposition to his steely, controlled, dangerous body language.
"So let's get to it. A little birdy told us that you guys," he embellished with a dramatic wave, swinging the gun around, "are working with some rogues from the Yakuza organization. Or, 'ninjas,' as we've so fondly dubbed them. You know anything about that?"
"No," the gang member said, mouth pressed in a firm line. However stubborn he acted, Peter saw a glimmer of fear in his eyes.
"Beep beep beep." Wade cocked the gun before resting his finger on the trigger, shaking his head in disappointment. "You're lying to me. How about a different question— where are they?"
He shook his head harshly, determined not to talk. Wade's finger twitched, and Peter had the sneaking suspicion his patience was wearing thin.
Peter decided this was time for him to butt in, not wanting him to accidentally kill this guy, even if he trusted that Wade knew what he was doing. "Hey, man go easy. We still need him for information," Peter chastised. Then he cocked his head. "Maybe aim for the foot. Or hand."
The gang member's face twisted in horror before he shot a betrayed glare at Peter. "You're Spider-Man! You're supposed to be the good guy!" he cried.
Peter winced outwardly. "Am I, though? I don't think I'm supposed to be nice to criminals."
"Oh, wow Spidey, I gotta say it. That was hot. But," Wade turned towards him, wagging his finger, "I did say Good-Hero-Bad-Hero."
He turned his attention back to the handcuffed man. "Guess it's Bad and Worse, now," he said flatly.
Crack!
Peter watched in mild surprise as their captive flinched back at the explosive sound, only to peel his eyes open to find he was still alive. He was considerably paler than before, though.
"Oops," Wade said, not sounding sorry at all. "Guess you only have four more chances. Let's try again. Where. Are. The Yakuza."
"I… I don't know," the dude muttered.
Wade turned pointedly at Peter at the hesitation. Peter just shrugged, trusting him to do whatever he thought was necessary, and Wade pulled the trigger.
Another crack rang out, echoing around the warehouse, and there was still no bullet. His odds were dwindling.
The detainee blanched completely. "No, I really don't know! I'm just a dealer, they don't tell us shit."
Wade glanced over to Peter. "Do we believe him this time?"
"I don't see any reason why he would lie," he answered after a moment of consideration.
Without another word, he shifted his aim to just past the dealer's ear and shot again. A hole appeared in the wall beside him. The gang member practically melted in relief, and Wade tucked the empty revolver back into his belt. "So now we're fucked," he said heartily.
But Peter didn't think that was quite right. There was something in the back of his mind that was bugging him, some way that they could figure this out, and he just couldn't think of it. But taking another look at the guy sprawled out in front of them dug it up. "No, you know, I- I don't think we are."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Peter jerked his head to the side, walking out the door and hoping Wade followed him. Footsteps followed him out, and it didn't take long for him to spot Matt and make a beeline for him. He made sure they were far enough away from the guy they were interrogating so he wouldn't hear anything.
"So I'm sure you know this already," Peter said, directing his attention towards Matt, "but that guy has no idea where these rogues are. But that one does." He pointed at the unconscious street runner.
"He's not going talk, Pete."
"I know," he said confidently, a conspiratorial smile spreading over his face. "So we're gonna let him go."