Chapter 2: Meeting Lincoln And His Friends
*all members of the Cork Men quietly walk up to Lincoln and his friends*
*all twenty members of the Cork Men reach the left side of the bench*
HJ: Lincoln, guys, we're here.
*Lincoln and his friends look to their left*
Lincoln: Oh, there you are, Cork Men! We didn't see you guys walk up to us.
Clyde: Yeah, this was casual of you guys to walk up to us silently.
Zach: Yeah. It sure was.
Rusty: Yeah, so awesome to see a group of twenty superheroes/celebrities like you guys to show up so fast.
Liam: I reckon you're all looking per slick as usual.
All 20 in unison: Thanks, Liam.
Liam: You're welcome.
Stella: Yeah, you guys must have teleported miles and miles away from your hometown to here.
All 20 in unison: Yes, we have.
HJ: And we're not going to tell you guys the name of our hometown until further notice.
Lincoln: Cork Men, guys, what are you all waiting for? Come on! Let's go to Gus' Games and Grub!
(all cheering)
Lincoln: Let's walk to Gus'!
Rusty (to the Cork Men): And Cork Men, please don't use your running speed superpowers and beat us there to Gus'. We're getting tired of that. You know, your super speed powers.
Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Liam, and Stella in unison: Yeah!
HJ: Okay, fine. *to the other 19 in his hero group* Do what they say, guys.
All nineteen in unison: Oh, okay.
*Lincoln and his friends start walking to Gus' Games and Grub and the Cork Men follow*
*Flip opens the front door to his store and sees the Cork Men and Lincoln and his friends leaving*
(bell jingles)
Flip: Huh? Thought I saw Lincoln and his friends and the Current Position Hero.
HJ (to Lincoln): Lincoln, when Gus asks how many are there of us, there's no need to count all of us. Just tell him that they are twenty-six of us when we get there.
Lincoln (to HJ): Okay!
HJ (to everyone in his hero group and Lincoln's friend group: I'm gonna divide us into teams this time so we can sit at four tables right next to each other. Four of us will be with Lincoln. Four of us will be with Clyde. Three of us will be with Zach. Three of us will be with Rusty. Three of us will be with Liam. And last, but not least, three of us will be with Stella. We're not gonna sit at that long extension table at Gus'.
Everyone else in unison: Okay!
HJ (to EPF): And EPF, please turn into your true human self when we get there like we talked about.
EPF: Okay.
Stella (to Zoe): So, Zoe. I once heard that you got to cosplay as me one time, correct?
Zoe (to Stella): Yes, I did.
Stella (to Zoe): So, Zoe. How did you change the skin tone that you were born with to my accurate Filipino skin tone?
Zoe (to Stella): Oh, I used a piece of the Totem of Undenying to temporarily change my skin tone.
Stella (to Zoe): The Totem of Undenying? It's also in real life just like in your video game series that you appear with everyone in your hero group in Current Position XVI: The Quest for the 50 Shards of the Totem of Undenying?
Zoe (to Stella): Yes, it is. It's an artifact in the sixteenth installment of the Current Position series and a in-real-life artifact.
Stella (to Zoe): So what does that piece of the Totem of Undenying that you used do? And also, what's the Totem of Undenying? Don't you mean, "Totem of Undying?"
Zoe (to Stella): What the piece of the Totem of Undenying that I used in order to completely cosplay as you does is that it temporarily changes a person's skin tone that they were born with to something else. For example, in a mission in C-P-XVI-T-Q-F-T-50-S-O-T-T-O-U, Chance used a piece of the Totem of Undenying to temporarily change his skin tone from African-American to Caucasian White because they wouldn't let people like him in a place that we went to in that game for a mission and also, he wanted to have the same skin tone as his triplet brothers. Josh also used that piece in real life in order for him to completely cosplay as your friend, Clyde. The Totem of Undenying is a totem that can see heroes and villains in an undeniable way. It never will join any villainous forces. It will only join heroic forces. And no, I don't mean "Totem of Undying."
Stella (to Zoe): Oh, okay. *walks away from Zoe and joins back in Lincoln's friend group*
Chance: Wow, I just never even realized that being in a cartoon is so awesome!
S.T.A.R. Jr.: You said it, Uncle Chance!
HJ (to Chance and S.T.A.R. Jr.): Guys, don't let Lincoln and his friends hear you! If you're going to say stuff like that, then be quiet! And also, don't let the public hear you say stuff like that.
Chance and S.T.A.R. Jr. in unison (quietly): Oh, sorry, HJ.
Lincoln (to HJ): So, HJ. How are we gonna sit together at Gus' in four groups?
HJ (to Lincoln): Me, Zara, Prince Wood, and Amir will sit with you. Josh, Super, Chance, and T.R.Y. will sit with Clyde. Jamie, Dark, and S.T.A.R. will sit with Zach. Tom, Candace, and Paul will sit with Rusty. Ryan, EPF, and S.T.A.R. Jr. will sit with Liam. And Zoe, Rosie, and Xenosa will sit with Stella.
Lincoln (to HJ): Oh, okay. Are we gonna sit in booth that probably has six tables when we get to Gus'?
HJ (to Lincoln): Yes.
Lincoln: I heard at Gus' that there is a booth with six tables. That just might fit all 26 of us. And of course, there's more booths there. Are we also gonna play the arcade games there, HJ?
HJ (Lincoln): Yes.
Lincoln: Alright!
Paul: Maybe there is hope after all.
(general conversation)
SEVERAL MINUTES OF WALKING TO GUS' LATER...
*the gang finally reaches Gus' Games and Grub*
HJ: This gonna be obvious when I say it. *to Lincoln* Lincoln, you wanna say it with me despite the fact it's kinda obvious?
Lincoln (to HJ): Do I ever!
HJ and Lincoln in unison: We have found it! The promised land! Gus' Games and Grub!
S.T.A.R.: Ugh, this is just a place we already know about. (groans)
S.T.A.R. Jr. (to S.T.A.R.): There's nothing to be ashamed of, dad.
S.T.A.R. (to S.T.A.R. Jr.): That was one time!
HJ: Come on, gang. Let's enter. *to EPF, quietly* Please transform back into your true human self.
EPF (quietly): Okay. *transforms into his true human self* *as a human being* And, this is quite awesome!
*all 26 people enter Gus' Games and Grub*
(bell rings)
*Gus walks up to the gang*
Gus: How many are there of you?
Lincoln: 26.
Gus: Wow, that's a lot of people. I never served this many people before. In this case, 26. And I realized that- *looks at HJ* Current Position Hero Hugh Jacob?!
HJ: That's right!
*Gus walks up to HJ*
Gus: HJ! It's good to see you! *to everyone else* I'll have you all seated in just a minute, including HJ. *to HJ* Wow, this is kinda awesome that a celebrity superhero is here with everyone in his hero group.
HJ (to Gus): Yes, it is. Now can you please find us a place to sit?
Gus: Okay. *points to a booth with four tables* How about that booth with six tables over there?
All 26 in unison: Yes!
Gus: Okay. *shows them to the booth with six tables he pointed at*
HJ: Lincoln, Zara, Wood, Amir, you're with me. Josh, Super, Chance, T.R.Y., you're all with Clyde. Jamie, Dark, S.T.A.R., you're with Zach. Tom, Candace, Paul, you're with Rusty. Ryan, EPF, S.T.A.R. Jr., you're with Liam. And last, but not least, Zoe, Rosie, Xenosa, you're with Stella.
Everyone else in unison: Okay!
*everyone in the gang sits at the booth with six tables*
HJ: Hey, guys. What do you all say that we play the arcade games after we eat?
Everyone else in unison: Yeah!
Gus (to everyone): And here are twenty-six menus for all of you.
Everyone in unison: Thanks, Gus!
Gus: You're welcome, you guys.
HJ: I hope that they have mango habanero wings on their menu. *looks at the wings section of the menu and sees what he is hoping for* They do! It's a miracle!
Tom: I feel bad that they discontinued the spaghetti pizza. I wonder if they brought it back. *sees the menu of what he's looking for* They did! They did bring it back! It's a miracle!
Jamie (to Tom): They probably discontinued it for a little bit, genius!
Zach (Jamie): Don't be rude, Jamie. Tom just wants to know the wonders on the menu here at Gus'.
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
HJ: Okay, guys. I'm buying! *to Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella* I brought a ton of money with me because my hero group and I make tons of money on MeTube and so much more stuff.
*Gus walks up to the gang*
Gus: My favorite customers, Cork Men, you guys ready to order?
All 26 in unison: Yes!
*Gus walks up to HJ*
Gus (to HJ): What would you like to order, Mr. Current Position Hero?
HJ: I'll have the mango habanero wings, boneless, medium sized serving, with root beer. And also, some buffalo sauce to dip my wings in. And also, a side of fries.
Gus: Excellent! *walks up to Josh* *to Josh* What would you like, Josh?
Josh: I would like some garlic knots with a side of breadsticks and some marinara dipping sauce. And some orange soda.
Gus: Good choice, Josh. *to Jamie* Jamie, want do you want?
Jamie (to Gus): Well, Gus. I would like cheeseburger with pure ground beef and side of fries. And some root beer as well.
Gus: Okay, sure thing. *walks up to Tom*
Jamie (whispering to Tom): Tom, you're up! Pay attention!
Tom: *does what Jamie tells him* Whoa.
Gus: And for you, Tom?
Tom: Hold on, Gus. (inhales deeply, then exhales) Yes, I would like some buffalo wings, boneless, small serving size, and mini-sized spaghetti pizza. And some lemonade, if you have any.
Gus: Excellent choice, Tom. And yes, we do have lemonade here. Not only do you know how to control your fire bending superpowers, but you also sometimes hide your dim-witted personality as well.
Tom: Thanks, Gus.
Gus: You're welcome, Tom. *walks up to Ryan* *to Ryan* What would like, Ryan, even though I have no idea what I see in you?
Ryan: I'll have the spaghetti and meatballs with a drink of limeade, if you have any.
Gus: Excellent choice, Ryan. And yes, we also have limeade. *walks up to Zoe* *to Zoe* Zoe? Anything? Even though I have no idea what I see in you either?
Zoe (to Gus): I'll have the spicy burger with a side of fries. And also, a root beer.
Gus: Thanks, Zoe. Interesting choice. *walks up to Zara* *to Zara* Zara? Anything?
Zara (to Gus): Well, Gus, I would love have a mini-sized pepperoni pizza and a large-sized blue flavored shaved ice.
Gus: Ooh, interesting. Can't go wrong with blue flavored shaved ice. It must match your water bending superpowers.
Zara: Yes, it does, Gus.
Gus: Okay. *walks up to Super* Anything, Super? You must really like being best friends with the Current Position Hero.
Super: Thanks, Gus. And I would like a meatball sub with salt sprinkled on the meatballs. And a medium root beer, please.
Gus: Okay. Good choice. *walks up to Dark* *to Dark* And for you, Dark?
Dark: I would like some mini-sized cheese pizza with a medium orange soda.
*Gus walks up to Candace*
Gus (to Candace): What would like, Candace? Aside from being the wife of the Current Position Hero and part-time DJ, you must like to make sandstorms with your sand bending super powers.
Candace (to Gus): Thank you, Gus. I would like some barbecue chicken wings, snack-sized, with a side of fries, and a root beer.
Gus: Okay, sure thing.
*Gus walks up to EPF*
Gus: EPF, what would you like?
EPF (in his true human self): Four slices of cheese pizza.
Gus: Sure thing.
*walks up to Rosie*
Gus: Rosie, you're kinda, like, a weird-looking woman.
Rosie: Uh, thanks?
Gus: What would you like?
Rosie: The Tira-Miss-You.
Gus: Whoa, Rosie. It seems like you got a sweet tooth.
Rosie: Thank you, Gus.
Gus: You're welcome, Rosie.
SEVERAL MINUTES OF ORDERING LATER...
Gus: Wow, you guys sure have, like, flamboyant decisions. I'll be back with your drinks. *walks away*
HJ: Wow, this is so awesome!
Stella: You said, HJ.
*Gus then comes back with all of the drinks the gang ordered*
Gus: Here you guys go! *gives all the drinks to the gang that they ordered*
*the gang starts drinking their drinks*
(straws slurping)
HJ: Wow, this is awesome!
Clyde (to HJ): I know, right, HJ?
Chance: I ordered the triple cheeseburger with a large side of fries. This is kinda awesome for my appetite.
(general conversation)
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
*Gus arrives with the food that the gang ordered*
Gus (to HJ): And here are the mango habanero wings you ordered, HJ.
HJ: Thanks, Gus!
Gus: You're welcome.
*Gus walks up to Josh*
Gus: Here's the garlic knots with breadsticks you ordered, Josh.
Josh: Thanks, Gus!
Gus: You're welcome, Josh.
(fast forward sound effect)
Gus: And here's your hay bale, as promised. And your food, as well. *gives both to Liam*
Liam: Ah, shucks. Thanks, Gus! Nothin' better to cushion your butt on a bale of hay. *sits on the bale of hay*
Gus: You're welcome, Liam.
Gus (to Stella): And here's your mini-sized meat lover's pizza, Stella.
Stella: Thanks, Gus.
Gus: You're welcome. Enjoy! *walks away*
Stella (to Chance): Chance, what is your original name? And why were you a laughing stock one time? Was it because of your original name?
Chance (to Stella): Stella, I am not telling you my original name. And I was a laughing stock one time because my original name stood for the initials I was given at birth. And yes, it's because of my original name.
Stella: Oh, okay.
Liam (to S.T.A.R. Jr.): Hey, Star Jr.! Why do you wield a gun while you're fightin' crime?
S.T.A.R. Jr. (to Liam): Because that's my usual weapon.
Liam: Oh, okay.
S.T.A.R. (to Clyde): Clyde, my original name was a laughing stock, too. Because it stood for my first three initials. One first name and two middle names.
Clyde (to S.T.A.R.): Oh, okay. Just like your brother, Chance?
S.T.A.R.: Yes, Clyde.
SOME TIME LATER...
HJ: Wow, we ate, like, a little bit close to a ton.
*Gus walks up to HJ*
Gus: That'll be $96.47.
Lincoln: (gasps in fear) What?!
HJ (to Lincoln): It's okay. I got this.
*HJ pays Gus with a $100 bill and a $50 bill, making it $150*
Gus: Thank you.
*HJ gets $53.53 back as change*
Gus: Your change is $53.53. Are you guys gonna play in the arcade or leave?
HJ: Play in the arcade. *Looks at the traffic light lava lamp on prize counter* How much tickets does the traffic light lava lamp cost?
Gus: 7,500 tickets.
HJ: Okay! *to the others* Let's play in the arcade.
Gus: Cork Men, you guys went here before. You still have your power cards?
All 20 in unison: Yes.
HJ: Our power cards have, like, $500 left over.
Gus: Ooh, interesting.
Lincoln: I want that Rip Hardcore Waffle Maker. And besides, they have more than one of those on the prize counter. Too bad it costs 10,000 tickets.
Clyde (to Lincoln): Me, too, Lincoln. Me, too.
*the gang starts playing all the arcade games at Gus'*
SOME TIME LATER...
*everyone starts counting up their tickets*
HJ: We have a total of 1,320,000 tickets! *to his members in his hero group* 60,000 from each of us. And... *to Lincoln and his friends* 6,000 from each of you guys!
Lincoln: Yeah, let's go spend our tickets at the prize counter!
*the gang runs up to the prize counter*
HJ (to Gus): Yes, I would like the traffic light lava lamp.
Gus (to HJ): Okay. *looks at the amount of HJ's tickets* Wow, you 60,000 tickets on your power card. You're quite the expert, HJ.
HJ: Yes, I am, Gus. Yes, I am.
Gus (to HJ): You'll have 52,500 tickets after this purchase and you said you want the traffic light lava lamp?
HJ: Yes, Gus. I've been wanting one for, like, ever! And I spotted one at one of my local arcades in my hometown.
Gus: Okay. Let me scan your card.
*HJ gives his power card to Gus*
*Gus scans HJ's power card*
(scanner beeps)
(ticket counter machine cha-chings)
AFTER SPENDING SO MUCH TIME AT THE PRIZE COUNTER...
HJ: Wow, we got so many prizes! I have, like, 10,100 tickets left.
All 19 other members in unison: Well, we have 500 tickets left!
Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella in unison: We don't have very many tickets left.
Lincoln (to Clyde): Clyde, when we had 6,000 tickets, we were, like, 4,000 tickets short. We got all of the most valuable prizes at the prize counter. Too bad one of the last few times we were here, one of Leni's friends got the Rip Hardcore Waffle Maker. Now, we have 50 tickets left according to that ticket counter machine. How much do you have left, Clyde?
Clyde (to Lincoln): Same. I have 50.
Lincoln: And now, we're both, uh...
EPF (as his true human self): 9,950 tickets short.
Lincoln (to EPF): Thanks, EPF. *to Clyde* Now, we're both 9,950 tickets short.
Clyde: Yep. I guess our dreams of making waffles Rip Hardcore style will never come true.
Lincoln: Yeah, those waffle makers are sold out everywhere in stores here in town.
*HJ overhears Lincoln and Clyde's conversation*
HJ (in his thoughts): Well, I guess I gotta do something.
Liam (to Lincoln and Clyde): Well, I got no tickets left, you guys.
Stella (to Lincoln and Clyde): Me too.
Zach (to Lincoln and Clyde): Me three.
Rusty (to Lincoln and Clyde): Me four.
*HJ still hears Lincoln and his friends' conversation*
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Hugh Jacob, Do's the right thing.
HJ (to his future Russian self's voice-over): Future Russian Me?
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Da, that's right.
HJ (to his future Russian self's voice-over): Future Russian Me, what am I supposed to do?
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Use your ten grands of arcade tickets left so you'll have 100 left over. You'll earn more tickets during your next visits here. At Gus'.
HJ (to his future Russian self's voice-over): Alright, I'll do it. I'll help Lincoln. But the problem, Future Russian Me, is that getting two of those Rip Hardcore waffle makers costs 20,000 tickets. And I don't have enough.
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Spasibo, Hugh Jacob. And for your problem, how many times must I tells you! Use your cloning superpowers!
HJ (to his future Russian self's voice-over): Oh, duh. I have cloning superpowers. And, oh, alright. But before I can spend ten grand of my tickets, when I give the waffle makers to Lincoln and Clyde, can I tell them to feel free to use me as reference?
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Nyet! Never tells Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride to make them feel free to use yous as a reference!
HJ (to his future Russian self's voice-over): Alright, fine, Future Russian Me! And thanks.
Future Russian HJ (voice over): Das vedanya.
HJ: *walks up to the counter* *to Gus* Gus, I would like to spend my tickets for one more prize.
Gus: Okay, HJ. Last time I checked, you have 10,100 tickets left. What do you want?
HJ (to Gus): The Rip Hardcore waffle maker.
Gus: How many?
HJ: One.
Gus: Okay. Are you sure about this, HJ? Are you 100% sure about this? You're gonna spend almost all of your tickets.
HJ: Yes, I'm sure and I'm 100% sure about this. *gives Gus his power card*
Gus: Okay. *scans HJ's power card*
(scanner beeps)
(ticket counter machine cha-chings)
*Gus gets the waffle maker from the top shelf behind him and gives it to HJ*
Gus: Here you go, Mr. Current Position Hero!
HJ: Thanks, Gus. *picks up the waffle maker off the counter and walks slowly to Lincoln*
("Also sprach Zarathustra" playing in HJ's head)
(HJ humming "Also sprach Zarathustra" quietly)
*Lincoln and his friends' depression moments are cut short when they see HJ walking towards them*
(Lincoln gasps in shock in slow motion)
Stella: Isn't HJ humming something quietly?
Josh: Yeah, that's "Also sprach Zarathustra."
(Lincoln squeals quietly and excitedly in slow motion)
*As HJ slowly walks up closer to Lincoln, the song continues and when the song ends, HJ stops slowly approaching Lincoln and is two feet away from him*
HJ: Here, Lincoln. This Rip Hardcore waffle maker is yours. *gives it to him*
Lincoln: *takes the waffle maker from HJ* Wow, thank you, HJ!
Clyde: Wow, Lincoln has one. I guess I'll never have my own at my house.
HJ: Do not fret, Clyde. I'll use my cloning superpowers to make another one and give the other to you. *to Lincoln* May I?
Lincoln: I'd be insulted if you didn't, HJ. Go ahead. Clone this waffle maker with one of your well-known superpowers.
HJ: Okay. Here it goes. *clones the waffle maker that Lincoln is holding*
(shimmering zaps)
Lincoln: Wow, I'm carrying two of these. *strained* And they're so heavy.
HJ (to Lincoln): I got this one, Lincoln. *picks up the box he cloned that's on top of Lincoln's*
*HJ walks up to Clyde and gives the cloned waffle maker to him*
HJ (to Clyde): Here you go, Clyde.
*Clyde takes the waffle maker from HJ*
Clyde: (squealing excitedly) Thanks, HJ!
HJ: You're welcome, Clyde.
Lincoln (to Clyde): Clyde, we did it! HJ helped made our dream of making Rip Hardcore style waffles come true!
Clyde (to Lincoln): I know, right?
Lincoln and Clyde in unison: Yes! (cheering)
Stella, Liam, Zach, and Rusty: (clapping)
Everyone in the Cork Men but HJ: (cheering)
Prince Wood (to HJ): HJ, you made Lincoln and Clyde so happy!
Candace: *walks up to HJ* You did the right thing, HJ.
Lincoln and Clyde in unison: It's a miracle, Clyde!/Lincoln! Now we have our own Rip Hardcore waffle makers!
HJ: Okay. Does anyone want to have their prizes be teleported back home? Because I do!
All twenty-five in unison: Yes!
HJ: Okay, Cork Men, first. *to EPF* EPF, teleport all our prizes back home.
EPF (as his true human self): Sure thing. (snaps his fingers)
(warbling teleporting noises)
*The Cork Men's prizes get teleported back home*
HJ: Next up, Lincoln and friends. *to EPF* EPF, teleport all of Lincoln's stuff and all of his friends' stuff back to their homes.
EPF (as his true human self): Sure thing, HJ. (snaps his fingers)
(warbling teleporting noises)
*Lincoln and his friends' prizes get teleported back their homes*
Clyde: What do you say that we hang out at my house?
All 25 in unison: Yes!
Clyde: Okay, let's go!
*everyone in the gang leaves Gus' Games and Grub*
Gus: Do come again!
(bell dings as the front door opens)
*outside*
Clyde: Come on, guys. My house is only a few blocks away.
*the gang walks to Clyde's house*