What If? A CJSimon Love Story

by bklynleo77

“CJ if that is something you want you are going to have to make sacrifices for it. You can’t go through life envious of the people who have made that choice.” “I’m not envious!” “Yes you are. Let’s call it what it is! Presidents do not last forever, just like my job it is exactly that! A job.”

You can drive a car, eat a grapefruit or do whatever you want-

How about a drink?

Sure you can drink

Wanna meet me after the play

Yes

Good

Where?

Anywhere you want?

How about right here?

-CJ & Simon, The West Wing

--~*~--

September 2002, The Algonquin Hotel, New York, NY

"Are you serious? You stopped a robbery? For this?", she asked incredulously as she held up the single red rose he'd given her.

"And this', he reached into his suit pocket retrieving a half eaten Milky Way bar. "Well the unmelted version of this", he chuckled placing the candy bar on the counter reaching for a napkin on the bar top.

CJ smiled shaking her head in awe.

"So not only have you done an exceptional job of protecting this", her hand waved down her frame. Simon smiled guiltily observing the exquisite sight in front of him. "But you caught my stalker-"

"Not me. The Secret Service along with the FBI but keep going-", CJ took a sip of her drink then continued.

"And you stopped an armed robbery. And still you had time to bring me a rose and plan something like this. Who are you Bruce Wayne?"

They both laughed.

"No. I'm just a man who's had a lot of time to perfect his skills. Including learning everything possible about my protectee including the paper she wrote sophomore year American Lit while attending Berkeley. If I'm not mistaken the title was 'For A Seat at the Algonquin-"

"Algonquin", they finished together.

"I felt the title could have been a little better", CJ laughed, "but the paper deserved the A that it got."

"How did you even? You read my paper?"

"Any many other things."

"Like what?", she asked feeling incredibly shy at the moment however she was intrigued at what else the secret service knew about her life private and not so private.

"Well, I know that we're born and raised in Dayton Ohio, the only girl and the youngest of three. Confirmed Catholic as well as a Merit Scholar and you went to Berkeley on a full scholarship all four years of undergrad school. However you are still paying back those grad school loans."

"Okay thanks for the readers digest version but you knew about the paper so I'm sure-", Simon let out a hearty laugh. The foreign sound was actually melodic putting her at ease.

"Okay I also happen to know", he continued, "that you had a quickie marriage in Vegas to your graduate school boyfriend who is now a ranger at a Yellowstone National Park", CJ was astonished not even her father knew about that nor her best friend Toby. "I also know that you had an equally quickie annulment not even forty eight hours later. My guess is so that when the time comes to do it right you would want to be married in a Catholic Church. I also know that you haven't been to church in several years. Tsk tsk tsk", he smiled shaking his head at her.

"Wow Okay. So you know way to much about me. Now it's your turn. What should I know about Simon uh?"

"Edwin."

"Edwin interesting. Well tell me about Simon Edwin Donovan."

"Well I'm a Pisces, my eyes sparkle of blue-"

"Not the Readers Digest version Simon", he laughed before continuing.

"Fine. I am Irish Catholic and the youngest of four children who grew up on the south side of Chicago. My father, Charles, was veteran turned beat cop until he retired. He passed last year." CJ covered her hand on his rubbing the back of it. He shrugged and continued.

"My mother, Maureen, was an elementary school teacher. So the 3 R's were big in my house. Most days after school I used to walk the beat with my Dad home. We spent a lot of time together. Everyone in the old neighborhood knew and respected Charlie Donovan. Really my whole family because they all had someone who had my mom as a teacher or someone who was arrested by my dad. We didn't have a lot but we had a lot." CJ nodded in understanding. "After I graduated I signed up for the Army. I knew what I wanted to do."

"You wanted To be just like him", CJ added

"Yep. I was sent to Iraq and did the three tours earning the grade of Specialist and picking up a silver star while doing so. I also grew very close someone over there. A woman. Colette O'Brian", he had the sweetest smile on his face. "You would have liked her. She had the most gorgeous strawberry blonde curls. A head full of them. Bright blue yes", he trailed off. "We had a year together. Her unit was out on maneuvers-, they were ambushed and-… it was an IED."

"Oh Simon", she attempted to hug him but he shook his head and pulled away.

"Anyway when my time was up I chose to leave the army. I didn't want my life to be about that. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just never saw it the same after that day and I definitely didn't want to punch out. I wanted more just didn't know what yet. So I returned home and joined the police force."

"I quickly advanced, passed my detective exam and everything. At the national police conference in this very state I met none other than Ron Butterfield. I instantly took a liking to him and he to me so, after some research he recruited me for the secret service. I turned him down initially."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. I liked being back in Chicago near my parents working the streets I grew up in. A bit of nostalgia for comforts sake."

"I get it. I mean I have no interest in returning to Dayton but the comforts of home is exactly that."

"Right but it was my father of all people who pushed me here. He said he didn't want my life wasted there. And like so many other times in my life I listened to him and I want to say he hasn't been wrong yet."

"So now what?"

"What do you mean?", he declined the bartender when he attempted to refill his beer.

"I mean what's next?"

"Oh well with another protectee officially safe and sound", he winked at her. "I report in on Monday for my new assignment. Despite what the job is-"

"You mean using your body as a human shield."

"Correct. Despite what it is, I like my job. I like the travel, I like to people, when they aren't giving me a hard time that is." He looked directly at CJ which made her laugh.

"Well I'm not big on people in my personal space."

Simon laughed. It was refreshing to hear.

"And you what are you going to do next?"

"You mean after this.", he nodded. "Well I think I would love to start a family."

"Really?", he asked. Of all the things for her to say next he never guessed she would say that.

"Yes. I'm not getting any younger and this may very well be the pinnacle of my career."

"Many staffers go on to do great things afterwards. Especially senior staffers."

"I know and don't get me wrong I'm not closing the book on my career after this but while I still have them I would love to try at a relationship and whatever else comes along. I've never been good at them. Relationships that is. I've missed the window on so many things."

"I can understand that. Am I going to have the opportunity to see you again?"

"Well I'm off until Monday so…"

"I meant long term."

"You don't know where you will be after Monday. I think it would be foolish to rush into something especially since we had our first kiss four hours a-", Simon swiftly moved in for their second kiss. Long over due in his mind yet it was as perfect as the first. Wet and lingering. The two tongues dueled until Simons won. His tongue swept the roof of her mouth demanding more which she willingly obliged moaning her approval. He tasted of the beer and peanuts he ate while she tasted of the red wine she'd been slowly sipping on careful not to get drunk too fast. When they parted she stood off the bar stool and stood in front of him this time with a wry smile and flirtatious eyes she kissed him making him yield to her. Parting he grinned. As much as he knew about her life on paper CJ Cregg was still an enigma never failing to surprise him.

"I can get a room here", he boldly suggested. "We can fly home tomorrow or Sunday."

"I think…, I would really like that", she replied growing suddenly bashful under his gaze. His eyes yet serious and focused danced with a whimsy she'd never seen before. Such directness she would have normally been repulsed by but she wanted him and from that embodied kiss that that made every nerve in the body stand at attention, she knew the feeling was mutual.

Simon paid for the drinks and they made their way to check in. They had no luggage or no change of clothes but thank God in that little black purse she was carrying was her diaphragm. The two barely contained their composure as they made their way to their room. After entering Simon slammed the door shut locking it then grabbing CJ moving her against the wall while ravishing her mouth allowing his hands to roam.

She pushed his jacket down his arms on to the floor. Her hands found his bow tie, it landed where his jacket fell. Next was his shirt. She wanted to rip them off of him but she was aware they were wearing their only clothes.

Simon on the other hand couldn't find the zipper to unfasten CJs dress nor could he lift the glove tight dress over her head. He remembered shopping with her for the overly priced Vera Wang and decided that he didn't want to rip it from her body so reluctantly he stopped and moved back with a sigh of frustration. Not for too long he hoped.

"How about this", he breathed heavily, "you take off that impossible dress and I'll take off-"

"That 'I got way too many buttons on me' shirt", she answered giving him a flirtatious smile.

"Exactly. And we meet in the bedroom in five."

"Not a minute longer", she added before disappearing in the bathroom.

"Yes Ma'am."

—-~*~—-

"Are you okay?", he asked breathless gently kissing the back of her hand.

"Yes", she said her chest still heaving, her still pulse racing since the kiss in the bar this evening that set the last forty five glorious minutes into motion.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking about how many times we can do that before we have to check out", they both burst into laughter, both took the opportunity to cuddle in closer.

"Many many more times if I have anything to do with it." She got unusually quiet and he observed her staring at him. "What?"

"You. You're different."

"Different? How?"

"Softer. You seem lighter like this. From the moment I met you you were so…"

"Stiff, regimented, unwavering?" She nodded laying her head back down on his chest. "I was on the job. The position is only part of me. Anyway I could say the same for you."

"How so?", she replied with heavily lidded eyes yawning.

"You were snappy and sharp with too much bravado but I saw through it all. You were scared darling but you didn't want anyone else to know. You don't like to feel helpless or less than one of the guys", hearing CJ's adorable light snore made him smile. "But darling if you only knew that you are so much more", he whispered placing a light kiss on her forehead. Snuggling down next to he watched her sleep while wondering when was the last time he smiled as much as he did this evening. I'd been too long and it was all because of her. He could get used to this.

It wasn't the sun that woke the two in the morning it was the sounds of horns beeping in the distance. The congested city was in full roar early that Saturday morning. CJ opened her eyes just as Simon did. Both smiled at their newly found synchrony.

"Good Morning", his hand reached for hers twinning their fingers together as he leaned forward for a kiss.

"Mmm Good Morning"

"What's on the agenda for this morning? I mean after we shower and brush our teeth."

Simon laughed as her smile widened.

"Well breakfast, shopping for essentials, maybe an outfit or two. Come back here and-"

"A repeat performance of last night?", she suggested hopeful he felt the same.

"I would love that." CJ leaned forward this time and captured his lips. "We don't have to wait until we-", she cut him off again this time deepening the kiss as her hands gravitated south moving inside his boxers while rhythmically stroking his stiff morning wood. Simon took the hint and moved over her kicking off his underwear falling perfectly between her long parted legs.

—-~*~—-

The two strolled hand and hand through Central Park late that afternoon. They didn't make it out of their hotel room until after eleven so they missed breakfast but luckily the two caught brunch at Tom's. Both had huge appetites, CJ ate the French toast but Simon opted for the shrimp and grits. After a quick stop at Macys they decided to walk back to the hotel.

"So, when was the last time you went for a leisurely walk around the park?"

"A long time. Working at the White House doesn't allow for walking around the park on a whim. I used to jog around my neighborhood but lately if I could steal away to make it down to the White House gym I would be happy."

"That's the first time you've mentioned work today."

"Yeah."

They continued walking until CJ stopped. He was about to say something but he saw what made her pause. A woman and man holdings hands pushing their baby in an old fashioned carriage stroller. Two stopped to kiss one another and when the woman turned to the side she could see her rounded belly already protruding with another one already on the way.

"This isn't real", she said to herself out loud.

"I'm sorry?"

"No, I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"This? I have a job! This, you and me is not going to work!"

"CJ, darling what is the matter?"

"Don't call me that! We aren't in a western with your darlings!", she shouted a bit too loudly he could see passers by starting to stare at them.

"Claudia Jean, calm down, why don't we go back to the hotel and talk?", he suggested soothingly touching her shoulder. She snatched her arm back pulling away from him.

"No, I need to…", their eyes connected briefly, he could feel it she was about to run. "I need to go." Turning around she bolted away from him leaving him standing in the middle of Central Park holding their bags. He watched shouting after her until she disappeared in the crowd.

—-~*~—-

Simon sat in their room worried replaying everything that happened from the evening before until she disappeared on him this afternoon. As he sat on the couch he heard a light knock at the door. Rushing to it he opened it and he finally exhaled since she ran off earlier.

"CJ!", he grabbed her into a tight hug. "My God I was so worried about you. You're cold. Come in!" Once inside she stood in the middle of the room with her arms wrapped around her suddenly feeling the cold Simon mentioned staring at the bed they'd made love in that morning.

"Here", he took the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her. "Are you alright? Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"I'll call room service it's not too late."

"Simon stop, I guess you want and explanation."

"Yes I do. I think I deserve one don't you? I mean I'm not pressuring you but I've been sitting here worried about you while trying to figure out what I did-?"

"You didn't do anything but show me a glimpse of what I could have", she cried, "I'm sorry."

Finally he understand. She gave up so much to serve at the pleasure of the President. Most women her age were married with children and here she was a woman in her prime watching time drift on without any possibilities of those once long ago dreams coming true.

"Don't", he smiled hugging her as if he could stop. "Don't be sorry. Why don't you go take a hot bath while I order some food for both of us. I was so concerned for you I couldn't eat", smiling he kissed her forehead. "While we eat we'll watch something terribly cheesy on tv and then I'll hold you tonight while you sleep. How does that sound?"

"Like a dream", she sighed with relief.

The next morning CJ woke to a different sound, church bells ringing in the distance. Today they leave to go back into the real world. No more walks, no more brunch, no more making love although after the way she acted yesterday she wasn't sure he was even interested in her any more. The keys jiggled in the lock and she stirred. Housekeeping? She wondered. When the door opened it was Simon entering with fresh bagels and coffee.

"Good Morning", he said brightly surprised she was awake. "Sorry I woke you."

"Morning, and it's okay I'd rather have that coffee."

"Who said it's for you?", he asked playfully. "Maybe I like two cups in the morning." CJ smiled at his mischievousness. "This is for you", he handed her the cup, as he bent they found each other's eyes and she didn't know why but it calmed her. What happened next only felt natural as their lips met. "Feeling better this morning?"

"Much thank you."

"You're welcome. Come on drink up and eat", he said holding up the bag of bagels. CJ climbed out of bed and they ate companionably at the little cafe table in the room. Even though he seemed to want to avoid the topic, CJ felt like everything that happened hung like a wet blanket over their heads and ignoring it felt dishonest.

"Simon, I feel I should explain."

"No need, I understand."

"Do you?", she placed the bagel down on her napkin. "You are the kinda guy that I can really fall for. In fact, I think I have already fallen for you."

"So you pushed me away? Like you did in Washington?"

"No that was because I was embarrassed, this was because, being with you makes me want everything and I can't have it."

"Can I make a confession?"

"Yeah", he took her hand holding it between his.

"I have admired you for a long time. You are a very formidable woman. And working with you well…"

"Well what? Truthfully I don't know if I can ever have it."

"Why not? CJ if that is something you want you are going to have to make sacrifices for it. You can't go through life envious of the people who have made that choice."

"I'm not envious!"

"Yes you are. Let's call it what it is! Presidents do not last forever, just like my job it is exactly that! A job. But you have to make choice on pursuing a meaningful relationship that may or may not lead to marriage that may or may not lead to children. No one is holding your hand forbidding it!"

She wanted to scream that he was wrong, argue that he doesn't understand the dynamics of her life but he did and everything he said was the truth.

"You're right", she said wiping a stray tear. "I have chosen to continue to do what I'm doing. I guess everything that's happened has made me re-evaluate-"

"What's important?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"You've already apologized. And like I said I understand. So first date,"

"First meltdown,"

"First argument,"

"More like disagreement". CJ smiled her hair fell into her face. In one smooth move, Simon moved it out of the way tucking it behind her ear. His thumb grazed another fallen tear. Her hand covered his rubbing it.

"Oh Darling stop crying."

"I feel foolish."

"You shouldn't. You have been through so much these months. You've earned one emotional meltdown." She chuckled her smile had an innocent radiance about it.

"You're wonderful Claudia Jean and if I'm stationed in the DC area I would love the opportunity to take you on another date and then we go slowly from there."

"I would love that, but I think we blew past slow." Simon laughed this time. She could definitely get used to hearing that. "What time is the flight?"

"2pm. It's just now eight so what do you want to do?"

With a sly grin she looked at him nipping her bottom lip, her eyes flashed saying come hither. She missed him which was even scarier but it was too late she was all in before it even started.

—-~*~—-

Four months later

"I really wish you would cancel your trip CJ", Simon said standing in her bedroom doorway watching her frantically pack.

"I can't Sy. Stop saying the same thing over and over. It's debate camp. We have to prep. Besides this was my idea, I have to go otherwise Toby and Leo, everyone will blame me!-"

"CJ look at me!"

"What?!", she turned around staring at him waiting for him to continue.

"You look like hell. You're sweating, your skin is clammy, you're tired and you can't keep anything down. You have the flu darling you need to stay home get in bed and rest before you collapse. I'll even wait on you hand and foot. I make soup from scratch even bring you your medicine."

"Sy! Not an option! And you have to work!"

"I'll call out and stop shouting at me."

"No, I have to leave, can you put my bag in the trunk? Please?", Simon walked further into the room standing in front of her. He slipped his arms around her waist, with out resistance she unwillingly fell onto his chest. She really was sick. "Sy, I don't feel well.", she admitted.

"I know", he smiled. "Please", he attempted with a cute pout one last time. "Stay?"

"I can't and quit it with that pout. Besides don't you think it will be suspicious if we both call out?"

"How is that suspicious? There's hundreds of workers in the White House alone no one knows we are in a relationship let alone married. You're delusional, it's the fever."

"Personnel knows, Ron knows", she attempted to defend her initial thought however even she knew it was fruitless. "Yeah Okay Maybe it's the fever a little bit. Honey I swear I would stay if I could."

"I know. I had to try. It's my job to look after you."

"I know and I love it. I also know that I'm a difficult patient but I promise to take all of my meds and drink plenty of fluids. I'll see you when I get home?"

"I'll be here", Simon picked up her bag and walked her to her car.

CJ and Simon took off when they reached DC. Slow was on the back burner. Simon was assigned to the Secretary of State detail. He'd gone overseas only twice for a week at a time. Otherwise Simon was in Washington.

Occasionally he had to visit the White House and when that happened he always managed to steal sometime away in the Press Secretary office. Usually the two engaged in a heavy petting session however there was on a few occasions where Simon walked away very relaxed. All in all everything was going smoothly.

For CJ she decided that she wanted it all the career, the relationship and a family. So far everything was going great. Simon was a thorough gentleman. He let CJ decide the pace of their relationship. Not pushing, he wanted it all but he knew it had to be her choice. Thankfully, CJ didn't pull back once. She was as ready as he was.

That all lead to the day he proposed. His mother told him it was too soon. So he arranged for his mother and one of his sisters to come meet her. One dinner later Maureen Donovan could see the love they both had for each other so she gave him her blessing.

Still he wasn't sure. Up until that point CJ held the reigns. He planned a wonderful dinner in Arlington outside of the district. When they got home, Simon had rose petals littered from the front door leading to the bedroom. CJ knew something was up he was unusually quiet that evening.

"So this what you were up to, should I follow this path?"

"Yes please."

"Are you sure cause I know I have some pistachio ice cream-"

Simon stopped her from talking with kiss on the lips.

"So I'm just gonna follow the roses", she said grinning as she walked down the hallway, Simon playfully swatted her rump, causing her to laugh out.

"Such a bad girl."

"Will I get another spanking?", she asked standing in front of the door toying with the waistband of his pant. Simon hovered over her where he captured her lips in another kiss. Kissing CJ had seemed to be his latest obsession with no cure in sight.

"Yes if you don't open that door now young lady." When she did her mouth flew open and tears fell from her eyes. She covered her mouth in awe. Overwhelmed with emotion at the site words temporarily escaped her.

On the wall above his bed was a banner that read 'Marry Me Claudia', on the bed was more roses pink, red, and white in the shape of a big heart all illuminated by the soft glow of the lamps on the nightstands. In the middle of the roses was a small black box. It was opened and from the door it's contents shimmered.

"Come here", he held her as she cried uncontrollably. "I love you so much Claudia Jean. Everyday I want to come home to you and our children. She wailed louder almost losing her legs. Simon held on to her tightly. When she calmed he heard a muffled yes", he smiled.

—-~*~—-

"Does your ex husband know you're on the plane", CJ teased Andi. Toby would have blown a fuse if he knew.

"Have you heard random shouting on yet?", she replied as CJ weakly chuckled. "Hey are you okay, you look a little green."

"I'm getting over this cold. I have a bag full of medicine that I'm chugging."

"Are you sure you shouldn't have stayed home? We don't need the President catching anything."

"No I'm fine. Completely over the contagious stage."

"Alright take care of yourself."

"Thanks see ya."

The first night went down splendidly. The President was in rare form. Toby was having twins, she was definitely making hats and Team Toby was in full swing. By the end of the night Sam was concerned about CJ so he and Josh walked her to her room.

On the way CJ doubled over in pain bracing her stomach then dropped.

Josh screamed for a Doctor as he and Sam carried her in her room laying her on the bed. Abby Bartlet showed up in no time with her medicine bag. Although not officially practicing the seasoned doctor always had her bag nearby.

"Claudia Jean?", she said loudly lifting her eyelids flashing her light in her eyes. "CJ? Can you hear me honey? She felt her head", she's burning up. Lifting her wrist she felt for a pulse. It was weak. "Corporal!, we need to get her to a hospital now!"

Nearly, two hours later Abby walked into the waiting room where her husband and all of the senior staff sat waiting for news.

"Abby? What's happened?"

"She has the flu."

"The flu doesn't do that!", Josh stated.

"She was also dehydrated along with having a serious case of pregnancy. Ectopic to be exact. I'm surprised she wasn't heaving over in pain all day."

"Ectopic- that means."

"The embryo never made it out of her Fallopian tubes. They had to remove it. Her husband is on the way."

"Husband? There must be a mistake CJs not married!"

"Is she?"

"Apparently she is, Very much so."

"To who and why didn't we know?"

"It appears our Claudia Jean has been living a double life", the President stated out loud. His eyes became transfixed on Toby. "You don't look to surprised there Toby care to share?"

"She is married, to Special Agent Simon Donovan. Six weeks ago. It was small, after hours, in his church in DC." He looked at Josh who was hurt by the news. He'd known that CJ and Toby were close but he thought they'd cultivated a special relationship throughout the years. Josh left out the room Sam followed.

Toby left as well but went the opposite direction.

"I want to see Simon when he gets here."

"Jed no."

"Like hell! CJ is one of the family. You just don't go sneaking around having secret marriages!"

"Jed it's none of our business. This is what they wanted. This is what Claudia Jean wanted. Let her rest and let her husband comfort her, let them grieve. Go back to the cabin and prep. I'll stay and wait for Simon."

Four lengthy hours later, Simon exited a taxi cab entering the hospital. Although it was after hours the First Lady worked it out so that he could gain access and It was Abby that greeted him when he got off the elevator.

"Mrs Bartlet? Is she-?"

"She's fine or she will be. She's resting and please call me Abby. Let me walk with you to her room." Along the way she filled him in on all the details. At the door she shook his hands, "When she's feeling better Jed and I would love to have you two over for dinner", Abby said as she took his hands in hers holding them securely for encouragement.

After a moment she left with her detail to go back to the cabin. Truthfully she could have left with everyone else and let the doctor fill him in but her friendship with CJ made her stay. Even if she felt as if she couldn't share their relationship with her.

He opened the door only to see his wife still asleep. She woke when he walked further in the room.

"Hi",

"Hello darling. I love you."

"Hold me"

"Anytime." Simon leaned over the bed railings and held her. He wished the bed was bigger then he could jump in and lay with her. Scooting the chair over he sat holding her hand.

"I'm sorry."

"Claudia Jean, stop. This wasn't your fault. Heal. Rest and heal so that we can get you better and start working on the next one."

"Thank you."

"No thank you. Now close your eyes."

"I just woke."

"Stop being stubborn CJ."

"Okay", she smiled closing her eyes. Sleep came faster than she excepted. She needed it. She had to heal.

—-~*~—-

Four years Later

"Mmm, Sy", a quiet voice moaned early one morning. "That's it, don't stop", she encouraged arching her back widening her legs further. Her fingers found the back of his head holding it steady and with a snug pull she released. Her husband made his way back to her lips as he molding himself perfectly between her legs. "God you felt so good."

"Yeah", he smiled. "I have something else that's gonna make you feel great."

"So I can feel", she said as her hand moved snuggly up and down his erection. His eyes were pinched shut as he laid above her incomprehensibility moaning in her ear. "Sy, I need you."

"Daddy!!!", They froze hearing their three year old cry over the baby monitor.

"Shit!"

"We still have time."

"No we don't Sy. She'll be at the door in a minute". Her husband groaned moving off her falling onto the bed next to her. "Let me see if I can settle her for a few minutes."

"Thank you. Hurry back."

"Daddy!"

"I'll be back", she leaned over and kissed her husband sweetly on the lips. "Patience. It'll be worth it."

"You don't have to sell me on that. Stop flirting and go." CJ laughed as she stood putting on her robe. She blew him a kiss before opening the door to deal with a very impatient little girl.

"Moira Olivia Donovan", CJ said standing in the doorway watching her daughter actively climbing over the bars of her crib. "What did I tell you about that", she picked up the girl swinging her in the air into an embrace.

"Mommy", the little girl laughed as CJ blew kisses into her neck. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy is still in bed but he will be up soon to go to work. Hungry?"

She shook her head as her mother put her down.

"Okay let's go downstairs. You use the bathroom and I'll make you some eggs. Then mommy is going to go get dressed while you eat. When you're done Mommy will help you get dressed okay?"

"Okay Mommy. Can I wear my Barney shirt today?

"Yes, I just washed it. Come on."

It took only a few minutes to whip up some eggs, pour a small cup of milk, butter some toast and slice some oranges. After settling her daughter with Sesame Street playing CJ snuck back upstairs.

Entering her bedroom Simon was already in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

"I didn't mean to take that long."

"I know darling it's okay, I got paged."

"What's going on?"

"Ron said to come in", he stepped in the closet grabbing his suit. "CJ we need to switch out that crib for a toddler bed. I don't like her climbing down every morning."

"I was meaning to talk to you about that. I agree but I want to set it up in the guest bedroom."

"Why? Let's break it down and put it in the attic."

"I think we'll need it a lot sooner than that is what I'm saying."

"What?", he looked at her and a smile lit up his face. "Are you serious? Are you sure? I mean know we were unofficially trying but-"

"I think so. I took the test two days ago."

"Two days why didn't you tell me?"

"Well you worked the night before and I was gonna tell you this morning but-"

"Claudia!", Simon picked up his wife spinning her before lowering her to his lips. "A baby."

"Yes." Their lips hungrily met again, the two made their way to the bed.

"I thought you had to go in", she laughed as Simon undid her robe.

"I do but I have to have you."

A quick seven minutes later the two laid breathless next to each other panting for air.

"I'm sorry. I was holding that from earlier. I'll make it up to you tonight promise."

"You felt wonderful and it's fine I know we didn't have a lot of time with Little Miss downstairs. Later we'll make time this evening to stay up late."

Simon picked up his wife hand and kissed the back of it. Turning toward her he swept her hair back pulling her into a deep kiss. "Do you know how much I love you. Claudia Jean you have made me the happiest man in the world." His wife in turn kissed his palm.

"I'm so happy Sy. I never thought I could be any good or thrive at this but you and Moira and baby is the most important thing in my life right now. I'm glad you made me realize I had a choice."

"I didn't make your realize it. You knew, you wanted it. You just had to know it was okay to have it. How are you feeling baby?"

"Mommy!"

"Ugh", CJ fell back laughing. Simon joined.

"My turn. Let me throw on some clothes and I'll put coffee on too."

"None for me", she pouted. Simony laughed louder making her swat at his arm.

"Go, shower and get dressed."

"Kay."

"You'll drop me first?"

"Yes then I'll take Moira to the White House daycare."

"Good. How soon until your car is outta the shop?"

"Miles said it the part he needed should be in next week."

"Claudia", Simon let out a sigh of frustration.

"Daddy! Mommy! Sesame Street is off!"

"Moira Daddy's coming one sec! Claudia that mustang isn't practical!"

"Shower! Can't hear you!"

"You heard me", he shouted. He went in the bathroom and pulled back the curtain.

"Simon!"

"We are getting you another car. I'm not gonna make you sell your mustang but you need something reliable."

"You think this is the best time to talk?"

"Well you shouldn't have pretended not to hear me." He looked at her arching his brow.

Fine, now go check on our child.

"Yes ma'am."

She smiled before pulling the curtain back.

CJ made it to the West Wing around 9 that morning. The President was in New Hampshire until Sunday afternoon, so she was holding down the house until his return.

"Good Morning Margaret."

"Morning, schedule for today and messages. Kinda light Fred and Herb stopped by about the budget and Kate needs five minutes with you before your security briefing", she placed a pastry on her bosses desk.

"Oh, what is that?", she asked holding her stomach with her nose turned up.

"Cheese Danish. I always leave a pastry for you."

"No get rid of it. Now please", avoiding it like the plague CJ stood and ran out of her office into the Chief of Staffs personal bathroom. She came out later wiping her mouth then her hands and discarded the paper towel in the rubbish before making her way back to her office. CJ called her assistant back into the office where sitting on her couch she apologized. The fresh smell of linen in the air didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry Margaret. I- "

"You're pregnant."

"Yes."

"I couldn't stand the smell of cooked poultry when I was pregnant. I won't bring you that one anymore."

"Thanks I really appreciate it. I would also appreciate if you could keep this information to yourself at least for now. The administration will be over in six months."

"I understand. Do you need anything?"

"Water? Maybe some toast."

"On it."

—-~*~—-

CJ drew tired as the day drove on. Which is one thing she definitely didn't need right now staring at the mountain of materials she needed to read. She felt extremely uneasy but chalked it up to the queasiness.

Everything was dead that Saturday evening. She'd checked in with the President twice and the active cease fire was holding. For how long?, she didn't know and Will's six o'clock briefing had just finished.

"Margaret!"

"Yep."

"What's the rest of my day looking like?"

"Nothing pressing. It's a light day. Ellie Bartlet rescheduled and is going to met with you in the morning."

"Why?"

"The President and First Lady wanted her to sit with you in regards to her wedding planning. They don't really know or feel comfortable with Pam the decorator so-"

"Yeah okay."

"Protocols are coming by as well."

"What time tomorrow?"

"Eleven."

"Okay let's wrap up today. Get Charlie and Will for me before I go."

"You feeling okay?"

"Not sure. Something's eating at me. I'm going home to try and relax. I'll come in tomorrow to met with Ellie, You however take the day."

"I'll be here."

"Margaret", With a sigh she picked up phone to call her husband. "Door please."

"This is Simon"

"Hey honey I'm gonna get out of here and head home."

"So early? What's going on?"

"Not feeling too well. I feel off."

"Because I knocked you up good this time", his wife smiled.

"Yea", she said dryly, her husband picked up on it.

"CJ?"

"Hmm?"

"What else?"

"I just have a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something's not right Sy. What if-…what if it's happened again."

"You thought the same thing when you were pregnant with Moira. She look at her now. He's fine CJ."

"He?"

"Oh yeah. This one's a boy. Strong like his daddy and granddaddy. When's your appointment?"

"Tuesday afternoon."

"I'll come with you. Once you see him you'll feel better. Go home darling. Take a bath. Eat put Miss Donovan to sleep and relax. I should be back by nine to do some lovely slightly freaky", CJ laughed, "things to your body to help you alleviate some of that stress."

"I love you."

"Forever."

"See you soon"

"Yep. Bye bye"

"Bye."

Simon walked in around three the next morning. CJ had fallen asleep with the nightstand light on. No reading materials this evening only TCM running in the background. Whatever movie she was watching was long gone and replaced by infomercials. He turned off the light and TV the proceeded to the restroom where he carefully and quietly showered.

Afterwards he climbed in next to his wife. She naturally moved over to cuddle beside him. This action would normally be welcomed however this time he screamed out in pain. CJ sat up turning on the light to find her freshly casted husband wearing a sling on his left arm.

What the hell happened to you?

He sadly sat up. They both knew the risks of his job but rarely did they have to deal with the side effects.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? Your arm is in a sling! And you're wearing a cast! They don't do that for nothing!"

"CJ you're acting hysterical, calm down. I'm fine."

"You're not fine Sy! And don't tell me to calm down. What happened?"

"You just can't leave it alone", her husband sat up straight with sigh. "I wrestled a man down to the ground detaining him and fell on my arm wrong. It's only a fracture. I'll heal."

"Why didn't anyone call me? Why wasn't I paged?"

"Because I told them not to. It had nothing to do with President or the immediate security of the first family and you will have the report on your desk first thing in the morning. You needed to rest."

"How dare you dictate what I need to know! It's my White House Simon. I'm in charge! Ron reports to me and so do you!"

"No he doesn't and neither do I. You are not all powerful and at last I checked you weren't President. You are just an employee like anyone else there!", he stated straight faced staring at her. He was so tired and all he wanted was to hold his wife. "Look I'm sorry I'm really tired and I want-"

"I don't care what you want", she said coldly. "Get out."

"Why do you do this Claudia Jean? I had a hell of a night and I don't want to fight. What would you have done? Huh? Seriously, panicked snatched Moria out her bed in the middle if he night for what? It was just a sprained arm."

"You don't get to tell me how to feel and react!", she dropped on the bed crying. God she hated being overly emotional. "This is exactly what I fear every time you leave the house. That some nut job will try to harm your protectee and I will get that call."

"Don't you think I know that darling? Which is why I stay vigilant and I protect myself while protecting my protectee so that you won't get that call, so that every night I can come home to the people I love safe and sound. C'mere darling." Without hesitation she turned on the bed and climbed on her husbands lap hugging tightly on his right side avoiding his left. "I'm okay baby. Im here and I'm okay. So stop crying."

"I love you so much."

"Well good I cause I love you more than you can imagine. You're my girl. Come let's get some sleep. Your daughter will be up with the roosters."

—-~*~—-

January 19, 2006

"This is it. Are you ready for tomorrow?", Simon asked his eight month pregnant wife while massaging her feet.

"Yes. Mainly cause your son is draining my life force as we speak", she laughed, "but this superb foot massage is helping. I'm tired. It's been a long journey like no other."

"Regrets, unresolved hopes, wishes?"

"I think every administration has unattained goals beyond that- Leo. I think if he didn't have that heart attack and pass away, maybe we could have done more. But No regrets. If I would have walked away from you in New York and never came back then yes. I'm glad I didn't." Her husband leaned forward for a kiss.

"You have done an immaculate job. Leo and the President wouldn't have put you in that position if they doubted you abilities. Yes there was a learning curve but you have restored faith and trust in that White House and I'm very proud of you."

"I lost myself for a while. I wasn't happy Sy."

"I know. You missed them. But that doesn't mean that everyday you didn't step foot in that building and kick ass. Give yourself a break", he gave her a small smile. "I'm going to check on Moria then check the locks. She's been enjoying that new freedom of being in a toddler bed too much. You want anything from downstairs?"

"No I'm fine. I have water for the evening."

"Good I'll be back."

—-~*~—-

CJ sat for the final time behind her desk. So much happened in that room. Highlights of the last eight years sped through her mind like a blur, the good and the bad. Josh appeared at the door interrupting her reflection.

"You're here early."

"I had some time while the Santos went to church."

"You should have gone too. Would have done some good."

"I see your husband is rubbing off on you and by the looks of you that's not all-"

"I'd refrain from finishing that sentence if I were you."

"You look good Claudia Jean. Happier than the last couple of times I've seen you." He sat in the chair in front of her desk. "I figured I'd try to come by one more time and talk you into staying but by the looks I guess that request-"

Shaking her head she smiled generously at the thrice offered position.

"I'm going to have to pass Josh. I appreciate the offer truly but I need time. In a month he'll be here and I don't want to be a slave to my pager or have run out on my family anymore. You'll be fine. You won't need me as much as you think. Here I have something for you." She handed him a sticky note on it said 'WWLD' "What would Leo do. This is all you'll need and if things get really hectic you can always call me."

"Imma miss you Claudia Jean. How's Simon?"

"He's great", she grinned. "We're great."

"Well if you ever change your mind", he stood holding his bag to leave.

"I know, thank you mi amor". Josh nodded and left as Margaret entered with Kate and Charlie.

"CJ-"

"Let me guess the train", she stated. "They're fighting over jurisdiction."

"Yep. And short of having to send the National Guard to the site-"

"Which is something a President should definitely avoid in his final hours in office- yeah, follow me", she stood with support of the desk the wobbled over to the oval door knocking before given permission to enter.

The President swiftly solved the issue leaving only the two in the oval. Her lingering didn't go unnoticed. He'd said goodbye to everyone except the most important. He wanted to hug the young woman who'd stood by his side from the beginning. He wanted to kiss the cheek of the woman who he'd came to love as a daughter but instead he shook her hand with the same respect he would Leo. She'd earned no less.

"It's been a pleasure Claudia Jean."

"The pleasure was all mine Sir."

She turned to exit. Had she looked back she would have seen him wipe his eye and he would have seen the tears in hers.

CJ didn't attend the inauguration not because she wasn't invited. She'd become a major player and asset in DC. The DNC wanted her to run for office in which she wasn't adverse to the idea but what CJ wanted was her husband, daughter and son at least for now that draw was louder than all others. She watched it from the comforts of her office. Once Santos was sworn in she gathered her bag and took one final look around. A voice spoke from behind her.

"You did good kid."

"Leo?" She spun around but no one was there. That small moment brought on an immense sense of joy and pride. She knew it wasn't real but somehow it felt as real as anything else.

Exiting the gate stood her husband holding a dozen of flowers with their almost four year old. She smiled widely at the site. One last time she turned back to look at the White House before walking over to them. A man and his daughter stopped her.

"Excuse me, I thought I saw you come out of that gate over there. You work there?"

She paused before answering, with a smile she answered, "I'm sorry no, I do not."

"Oh. Must be something huh?"

"Yeah", she reflected staring at the building. "It must be something."

Her daughter called out to her. Simon let go of her hand allowing the little girl to run towards her mother. She turned away from her past looked into Simons eyes smiling. Everything was going to be fine. She'd definitely could get used to this.

—-~*~—-