Wendip Week 2023
3-Baby Bump
"Oh, my," Wanda Pines said for about the sixth time. "This is so—I'm—we're so happy for you!"
Alex, with his arm around his wife's Fshoulders, laughed. "One thing, though—what are the grandchildren going to call us?"
Dipper glanced at Wendy. "Your choice," she said. "My dad wants to be known as Manly Pop-pop."
"I called my grandmother Nana," Wanda said. "I have to admit I didn't like her all that much. But it's a nice name."
"Dad?" Dipper asked.
Alex settled back, adjusted his glasses, and said, "Oh, whatever the kids think up. Or if you really want my choice, I'm perfectly happy with Honorable Ancestor."
"Does Mabel know?" Mrs. Pines asked.
Dipper had to chuckle at that. "If she did, don't you think she would have told you two seconds after we swore her to secrecy?"
"Good point," Alex said. He checked his watch. "Let me call and see if I can get reservations for dinner. French cuisine OK, Wendy?"
"Fine," she said. "I'm getting to the stage where I'm always hungry!"
Alex had luck with Paradis, a sort of high-end bistro not very far from where they lived. As they drove there in Wanda's RAV4, Alex explained, "It's prix fixe, one price for a three-course meal. You'll have a choice of appetizer, entrée, and dessert. It's all good there. Oh, how about wine?"
"None for me," Wendy said.
"I'll opt out, too," Dipper added. "But if it's the place I'm thinking of it has sparkling water, both flavored and unflavored."
"That's it, Dad said. They found parking only a few steps from the blue, white, and red canopy, entered through a foyer lined with potted plants, and a waitress saw them to a table for four.
Alex ordered glasses of Marsanne for him and Wanda, but the younger couple chose sparkling lemon water. Dad proposed a toast: "Here's to the future members of the Corduroy-Pines family. May they be healthy and happy and always know they are loved!"
Dipper studied the menu. As Alex had said, each had a choice of three items for every course. Dipper went with the roasted figs and barrate cheese appetizer, while Wendy chose paillassons de courgettes, on the recommendation of the waitress. That turned out to be a stack of small, savory pancakes, with zucchini being a main ingredient and a sauce based on sour cream. She pronounced it delicious.
On to the main course, steak bearnaise for both of them (Alex had petite lamb chops, Wanda red snapper with a citrus-fennel salad). And then dessert, wonderfully indulgent Monte-Blanc cakes. They had no choice in that—the moment the waitress heard the toast, she insisted that this was the best. And it was.
Augustin, the head chef, came out in his pristine white uniform, splotched apron, and poofy-topped snow-white chef's hat offer his congratulations. "When the baby comes," he said, "you parents return for a meal on me, eh? The grandparents can baby-sit!"
Dipper thought it was a joke, but then the beaming chef handed him an engraved business card and signed the back. "Just bring this," said Chef Pierre Augustin, if Dipper read the swashing signature correctly. "You will be happy, I know. My wife and I, we have five!"
The next afternoon Amy Hazard came by in an Agency car to drive them to the airport, where they boarded the six-seater jet for the flight back up to Oregon. By evening they were home again. "Are we ready to ell Mabel yet?" Dipper asked.
"Let's give it a week," Wendy advised. "Then she can bust loose."
So on the Saturday before Halloween, with Teek on a break from a location shoot up in Vancouver, where he was the first Assistant Director, and Mabel coming off of a successful fashion pitch to TeenzDreamz, a national clothing label, they met for lunch at The Club. Mabel was bouncy and announced she was going to order two of everything except lobster. "Teek's been away for three weeks!"
"You came up for five days in all," Teek reminded her with a smile.
"Oh, it's the coolest movie!" Mabel explained. "There's this young girl with amnesia, she's played by Gemma Maclin, she's so nice in person, down to earth, not stuck-up at all, and a private detective, well not really, but he works for a private detective, and the girl hires him to find out who she is, really—she had ten thousand dollars in cash in her bag but no identification at all, and she hasn't even been hit on the head, and it turns out that she's really a witch from the sixteenth century—"
"Seventeenth," Teek managed to correct.
"Whatever, and she's been thrown into the future by a spell, see, she's a kind witch, not an evil one, but if the guy solves the case, oh he's played by, can you stand this, Akin Thane, such a dreamy guy! But he has zero sense of humor. Anyway, if he solves it, she has to go back to her own time, but the fall in love, and Teek won't let me read the script, so I don't know how it turns out I think I want a steak, medium."
"Sis," Dipper said when the motor on her mouth ran down, "Wendy and I want to tell you something."
"OK. What are you gonna order, Dip? If it's the chicken au vin, I want a taste. What did you want to say?"
"We're pregnant," Wendy said with a smile.
"OK, and if you order the—WHAT? You're gonna have a baby?"
By then everyone in the restaurant was looking around.
Mabel jumped up from her seat and onto the table. She did a mad little dance in a tight circle, chanting, "Baby! Baby! We're gonna have a baby! Hey, everybody—I'm gonna be an AUNT!"
Scattered applause broke out. Teek coughed. "I think you made your point. How about sitting down again, sweet?"
"Oh, my God!" Teek, ever the gentleman, stood and took Mabel's hand as she regally stepped from the table onto her chair, put one foot on the chair back, and tilted it over, as if she were descending from a chariot, or one of those buses with the little elevator platform. "I'm so excited I can't even eat!"
But she forced herself and polished off a steak and baked potato. Afterward, she insisted that Wendy and Dipper visit them in their house, where Mabel told Tripper and CD, the dogs, that they were going to be unofficial uncles. Mabel had Tripper rise up on his hind legs, and they danced a happy jig. For a dog, he was not bad.
And for a dog he was exceptionally smart, too. As soon as the dance ended, he ran out of the room and came back with a Manotaur-shaped squeaky toy—Soos had had a brainstorm and Mabel had helped him create a line of pet toys for the Shack—and trotted up to Wendy, stood on his hind legs, and dropped the toy on her lap, nosing it toward her.
"Aw!" Mabel said. "Your first baby gift! Oh, hey—I have to organize the baby shower! Who do we want to invite? Heck with that, we invite EVERYBODY! Teek, take this down: Food and refreshments. Venue. Party games. Oh, and for presents, are we having a niece or a nephew?"
"Dunno yet," Wendy said.
"But it won't be just one," Dipper said. "Maybe one of each."
Mabel wasn't as loud as Manly Dan, but her squeal was high-pitched. Tripper and his pup were used to it, but a few dogs in the neighborhood fainted.
"Calm down," Wendy pleaded. "Mabes, the shower's usually later in the pregnancy! Like when I'm at least six or seven months along."
"But TWINS!" Mabel yelled. "How can you just sit there? Why aren't you guys excited?"
"We've known for more than a month," Dipper said. "We sort of got used to the idea.
Mabel ran to her brother, grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragged him up to his feet, and shook him. "Why wasn't I told? Me, Mabel? These kids' only aunt? Never mind, I know now! Six months, huh?"
She counted on her fingers: "November, December, January, February, March! So the shower's gonna be like in late March, early April? When are my darlings coming? What's the due date?"
"May," Wendy said.
"EEEEE!" Mabel squealed. "Your birthday's in May! It would be so cool if they were born on the twenty-first! Try for that, Wendy!"
"Do my best," Wendy said.
"OK, OK, names," Mabel said. "Tyrone! If one's a boy! If not, Tyronia! If one's a girl, Aquanetta!"
"Huh?" Dipper asked.
"That's the name of an actress!" Mabel said. "She was in an old-timey movie on the old-timey movie channel! She was like a were-gorilla! And she was so exotic!"
"Jungle Woman," Teek said. He was something of a walking encyclopedia on movies.
"Must have missed that one," Dipper said with a grin at Wendy.
"Yeah, not on the creature feature show that Dip and I usually watch."
Teek shrugged. "It was a B picture, but still a cut above The Widdlest Wampire or Nearly Almost Dead but Not Quite."
"Probably above the local channel's budget level," Dipper said, nodding.
When Dipper and Wendy left for home, Mabel pulled out right behind them in her car. They had to drive through the main part of town, not that it was all that big, and Dipper winced as he realized that behind them, Mabel had rolled down her window, though the day was drizzly and cold, and had raised a bullhorn to her mouth.
Echoing through Gravity Falls was Mabel's voice: "Now hear this! My brother and his wife, my big sister-in-law, are officially gonna have a baby! Babies! Twins! Get ready, people, for the blessed Pines event!"
Wendy, at the wheel, sighed. "The Shack or Stan's house?"
"Let's do the Shack next," Dipper said. "If Stan's downtown in the mayor's office, he'll call us. If he's home, he'll walk up the hill when he sees our car in the lot."
Melody and Soos, plus their kids Harmony, Soosie, and Rosa, interrupted the business day to joyfully and tearfully (and for the kids, top-of-their-lungfully) offer congratulations, best wishes, and love. Soos even used up half of the Yiddish he'd learned from Stan and Mabel: "Matzoh Tov!" Well, it was close, and they knew what he meant.
And not two minutes later, Stan came in through the family entrance and hugged both of them right in the gift shop. "Hey, everybody!" he announced. "If you don't know me, I'm Stanley Pines, Mayor of Gravity Falls and Founder of the Mystery Shack! This here's my nephew and, uh, niece-in-law, and in their honor, everybody in the gift shop right now at this minute can pick out any souvenir in the joint and take it home for free! Retail price not to exceed five dollars, anything tagged fifty bucks or more, take five off the price, sales are final, buyer accepts all responsibility for uncanny paranormal side-effects. C'mere, you two! Ain't they a fine couple, folks!"
Technically, Stan and Ford jointly owned the Shack now, though they charged Soos only a token rent and had not much direct say in the operation of the business. But Soos gladly went along with the offer, which was not a big blow since the five-dollar limit restricted the purchasers mainly to stickers and a few small plastic items like key chains and bookmarks.
Ford called Dipper just a few minutes after the happy furor died down: "Is it true, Mason?"
"Yes," Dipper said. "Wendy and I are going to have twins."
"My word, this is wonderful news!" For a few moments, Ford seemed stumped for words. Then, in a very serious voice, he said, "Mason, this merely advances a plan I had intended to share with you during the holiday season. Your role as my chief clerk and keeper of records has greatly eased my own workload. Accordingly, as of the next pay period, I intend to give you a raise."
"Oh, that's not—"
"Shall we say double the current salary? No, no, don't negotiate, my mind is quite made up. And Dipper—Mazel tov!"
A couple of weeks later, along in November, Wendy began to show a baby bump.
As far as everyone in Gravity Falls was concerned, that was merely superfluous confirmation of something everyone already knew.