CHAPTER 56

"So, are we just supposed to sit here?" I ask some twenty minutes of silence later.

Snape nods. "Professor Dumbledore has called for the Order already. There's not much else we can do." He then begins writing on some papers that are on his desk.

I watch him closely, but it seems that he has nothing else to say on the subject. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing when and if the Death Eaters arrive. I know he once said that I'd have to stay here but . . . Will the Death Eaters try to come down here to the dungeons? Will my friends be safe? Will the Death Eaters even make it into the castle tonight, or is Snape just worried at the possibility because something doesn't feel right to him?

As much as I want Draco to make it out of this thing alive, I don't want the Death Eaters here this soon. I'm not prepared for their arrival, and it's doubtful Draco is ready either. My breathing quickens. "Where is Professor McGonagall?" I ask suddenly.

"Where else besides in her office?"

"Should—could—can I go warn her?"

Snape places his quill down. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Well, if—if the Death Eaters—if they're coming tonight, she's not safe! No one is safe! Shouldn't she at least be warned?"

"Professor McGonagall is perfectly capable of taking care of herself," he says. "And in any case, she's part of the Order and has, therefore, been warned already."

"But—"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to go searching for her."

"Last time she needed help, you weren't there! Do you really expect her to be able to fend off a horde of angry Death Eaters?"

Snape sighs. "I cannot leave you. I must keep you safe."

"I'M NEVER GOING TO BE SAFE!" I roar, standing to my feet and slamming my hand on his desk. "Don't you get that? So long as Voldemort is alive, I will never be safe!"

"Charlotte—"

"NO! I WON'T LOSE HER TOO! I can't lose her too!" I start for the door, but by the time I get there, Snape has thrown a spell over the door to prevent me from leaving. I rest my head against the wood and close my eyes. I can't lose her too. Tears well up in my eyes despite my best effort to hold them back. "Don't do this, Professor, please. Please don't do this."

"She'll be fine," he assures me softly. "She's a very talented witch."

"But so are the Death Eaters," I whisper.

A hand comes to a rest on my shoulder. "Have a seat, Charlotte. Minerva McGonagall is more than capable of taking care of herself." I pry myself off the door and let him lead me back to the chair in front of his desk. "And if anything happens to her, you will be allowed to hex me, curse me, jinx me, or attempt to kill me. I doubt I'll care either way."

I jerk away from him. "Doing any of those things to you won't bring her back if she's killed."

I take my wand out of my robes and turn it over in my hand. Not knowing how long it'll take for Dumbledore and Harry to return, I suddenly find myself wishing to escape to Hogsmeade and warn Zoe that Death Eaters are going to be so close to her in such a short amount of time. I don't want anything to happen to her.

But if she stays in Hogsmeade and away from the Hogwarts altogether, she should be fine. At least that's what I hope. "Will people in Hogsmeade be safe?"

"I see no reason for the Death Eaters to go to the village."

"Are you sure?"

"You doubt me?"

Of course I don't doubt him. I sigh and lean back in my chair before throwing me feet up on his desk. He scowls at me but says nothing, and I stay that way, my feet resting on his desk and my hands fiddling with my wand, for about thirty minutes before I hear, "Things are going to happen tonight, Charlotte."

"Yeah, I believe you said they might."

"I know what I said." I pull my legs down and look back at him. "I lied to you because I couldn't have you panicking about this earlier. Professor McGonagall is safe and part of the Order, which is on the alert in case they all need to be here. The Death Eaters are coming tonight. I've already received word."

"Why would you—"

"And all you need to know is that the man in control has everything planned."

"You've said that before, but that doesn't make any sense, Professor. Who is the man in charge? I need to know before—"

"Hush," he says, his voice now urgent, his eyes wider than normal as they look somewhere in the distance. Then he stands suddenly and comes around his desk and places his hands on my shoulders to look directly into my face. "Listen to me, Charlotte, it's happening." He pulls me to my feet and must see the terror on my face, for he continues, "The Death Eaters are here, and I must keep up appearances, I trust you know that."

"I—"

"Stop talking and listen. I need you to cast the Disillusionment Charm over yourself, understand?" I nod. "Cast it now." I wave my wand over myself like I'm wrapping myself with rope, and my body disappears. "Stay hidden until I return, as we agreed."

"What? No, I never agreed to—"

Snape's door flies open, and Professor Flitwick calls from the doorway, panicked, "Severus! Death Eaters! In the castle! Come quickly!"

Snape glances over at me before red light shoots from his wand, hitting Flitwick square in the chest. The tiny professor falls onto his back, unconscious. "I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you."

"And know that the wizard in charge has everything planned."

"That's unhelpful!"

"Stay here."

Snape dashes from his office, and I ignore his orders, instead following as closely as possible, almost running into Hermione and Luna who are both standing outside Snape's office. "Professor Flitwick collapsed," Snape lies to the two of them. "Go take care of him. I need to help protect the castle."

"You just lied to them!" I hiss at him once we're far enough away I'm sure they won't hear me.

"I told you to stay in my office!"

"And not try to help?"

He huffs. "Stay close to me. Do not take off the charm until I say that it's safe. Speak to no one." With that, Snape takes off, and I sprint after him as we make our way through the corridors and out of the dungeons. Snape glances back in my direction and says, "Use the Shield Charm. There might be some curses flying around that could kill you."

"Yes, sir," I say quietly.

I continue following Snape in the direction I vaguely recognize to be toward the Astronomy Tower. We turn the corner and enter a war zone. Flashes of different colors fly around the room—one smacks the shield that is currently doing its best to protect me. Only the colors from the spells and the few torches lit in the corridor give the room any light, and it's hardly enough to see properly. Shadows dance around the corridor, up the walls and across the floor, adding another level of difficulty in differentiating who is a member of Dumbledore's Army and who is a Death Eater. All I see are assailants, and I'm caught almost in the middle.

Only one thing is certain to me right now: my mother is attacking everyone with a broad smile on her face.

I jump over the body of a fallen Death Eater while trying to stay close to Snape and just manage to dodge another stray spell. A few Death Eaters, including my mother and Snape, start toward the Astronomy Tower, and that's when I hear Snape say, "You cannot follow me now. Protect everyone you can. When I return, I need you—"

A loud bang drowns out his quiet command, but I can't ask him anything else because he's already gone.

I jump to the wall and begin throwing up shields wherever I can. I Conjure a chair to take the Killing Curse some Death Eater cast at some student from behind. Then Fenrir Greyback plows me over and knocks me to the floor as he rushes toward Bill Weasley, his massive figure diving on top of the Weasley with very little effort. My breathing becomes ragged, my body trembling. I aim my wand at the werewolf and fire the Impediment Jinx at him, throwing him off Bill, but Bill continues lying there, unmoving, blood gushing from the slashes across his face.

Shaking, admittedly terrified, I push against the wall and struggle to my feet before casting another shield, this one to stop a Stunning Spell from hitting McGonagall who is too busy taking down another Death Eater to watch her back. Her current foe isn't even flat on the stone floor before she knocks another one out. Perhaps Snape was right about her being fully capable of protecting herself. Not that I should've questioned it in the first place.

I dive to the other side of the corridor to dodge a green spell and see Tonks being bombarded by two Death Eaters. No longer caring what must be done to save my friends, I pull myself to my feet and cast the Killing Curse, hitting one of the Death Eaters in the chest, which distracts his partner long enough for Tonks to fight him off.

A flash of light streaks toward me and strikes the torch just above me. It groans for a second, then comes down on top of me—it gashes tears through my robes and gashes my skin, burning my back and shoulders as it falls to the floor. I let out a shriek hopefully no one heard over the raging battle around me. Breathing evenly to stifle the agony, I lean against the wall and prepare to defend more Hogwarts defenders. In that moment, from the Astronomy Tower emerge Snape, two Death Eaters I do not know, my mother, and Draco. I work my way to Snape and grab his arm. "Help me, my back," I groan.

He lowers his voice and says, "Remove the charm and—"

"Crucio—Crucio—" someone shouts at Ginny, "you can't dance forever, pretty—"

"Impedimenta!" Harry yells, now rushing out of the Astronomy Tower.

I remove the Disillusionment Charm, and Snape manages to cast a spell that reduces my pain just before Bellatrix seizes my arm and drags me along with her. I turn and throw a few more shields over my friends.

"Take that!" McGonagall shouts. She catches my eye, and I see her mouth my name, but she is unable to follow me as my mother pulls me through the corridors.

I jerk away from Bellatrix for a moment, and she notices the blood on my shoulder from the torch. "What's happened?" I ask her. Several terrified students cower against the walls and in the corners. There's a loud blast behind me, and I look back to see the Gryffindor hourglass shatter, the rubies all spilling onto the floor as if Hogwarts itself is bleeding.

A crazed smile crosses her face, her grip on me tightening. "Dumbledore is dead!"

"What? Did Draco—"

"No, it was Snape!"

Snape? How . . . how could this be? Snape . . . Dumbledore trusted him. I trusted him. I thought he was loyal to Dumbledore! He's played me for a fool this whole time! He's been lying to me for months! My eyes fill with tears of indignation and fury.

"Aurelia, come!" Bellatrix pulls me along with her, and until that moment I hadn't realized I had stopped moving.

Snape . . . How can he do this? Why would he do this? Was I wrong about Lily Potter this whole time? Was I wrong about everything? Was I wrong to put my faith in him?

My mother casts a shield around the two of us as we reach the entrance hall and step onto the soft earth outside the castle. We start toward Hagrid's cabin, and even though I've never cared that much about Hagrid because I hardly know him, a strong fear erupts in my chest. Not Hagrid . . . they can't kill Hagrid. He's never been anything but kind.

I jerk my head back to see Harry following us. "Stupefy!" he shouts. That's when I see the Dark Mark, Voldemort's sign, in the sky over the Astronomy Tower. It's true. Dumbledore is dead . . . Mum wasn't lying to me.

"Run, Draco!" Snape shouts, then turns around, both he and Harry raising their wands simultaneously, and my heart rips from my chest. I shouldn't want Snape to make it out of this alive, yet here I am, wishing for the man who betrayed me to still live. He killed Dumbledore. He lied to me for months. And yet I don't want to see him die. What's wrong with me?

A Death Eater behind Harry shouts, "Incendio!" I hear an explosive bang, and Hagrid's cabin erupts in orange flames. "Fang's in there, yer evil—!"

"Cruc—"

Snape deflects Harry's attack. He deserves to die. That's all there is to it. So why do I want him to live?

"Cruc—"

Snape parries the curse again. "No Unforgiveable Curses from you, Potter!" Snape shouts. "You haven't the nerve or the ability—"

"Incarc—"

Snape blocks the curse again with a lazy flick of his wand.

"Fight back!" Harry bellows. "Fight back, you cowardly—"

"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" Snape sneers. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe—"

"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and you mind closed, Potter!" Snape screams.

"Kill him, Harry!" I find myself shouting, overcome with anger that he's betrayed everyone like this. Fuck my loyalty to him. He's not loyal to anyone but Voldemort, and as much as it's going to hurt, I want him to die and I want to see it happen.

"Aurelia!" Bellatrix scolds me. "Snape killed Dumbledore, Snape is loyal to the Dark Lord. I was wrong."

"Now, come!" Snape orders a Death Eater who is lagging behind. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up—"

"Come, Aurelia," Bellatrix instructs me, grabbing me and forcibly Apparating with me.

I fall to the floor in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, Voldemort standing just a few feet from me, waiting with a scowl on his face despite the triumphant whoops and hollers from the Death Eaters. Draco looks over at me in horror. Snape appears moments later, and I scramble to my feet and lunge at him, but a spell from behind me catches me and freezes me mid-tackle. I snarl at Snape, preparing myself to rip out his throat if necessary. Voldemort steps between Snape and me as he commands everyone to leave the room, his eyes falling on my mother and me and adding, "Except for you two."

My heart plummets. Why would he want only me and my mother to stay behind? Draco offers me a look of compassion before he leaves the room. The spell releases me, and I drop to the floor.

Voldemort's glare never leaves Bellatrix as the other Death Eaters retreat from the room. "Why is she here, Bella?"

"My Lord, I—"

"You could have exposed her, Bellatrix!"

My mother flinches, and I have to wonder if that's the first time he's called her by her real name. And if it's not the first time, I want to know how long it's been since he called her that. And if it is usually followed by some sort of punishment.

"Why did you bring her here?"

"My Lord, I . . . I thought it would be safer for her here. I thought you would want her to be safe," she says quietly.

"Did I tell you to bring her here?"

"No, my Lord, you—"

"I didn't! And yet you brought her nevertheless. Why is that, Bellatrix?"

She flinches again, like it physically hurts her to hear him call her "Bellatrix" rather than "Bella." I want to say something to her but can't bring myself to speak right now at all. "I thought you wanted her—"

"Such lies," he hisses, causing her to flinch yet again, "and from my best lieutenant, no less."

"My Lord—"

Voldemort speaks softer when he says, "Do you not remember what happened the last time your affections for your daughter overshadowed your loyalty to me?"

"My Lord," Bellatrix pleads, tears already in her eyes. I pull myself to my feet, but Voldemort doesn't pay any attention to my movements at all.

He says calmly, "No, Bellatrix." Another flinch. "Answer me. What happened the last time your affections for your daughter outgrew your loyalty to me?"

My mother shakes her head, still on her knees before him. "My Lord, please."

"Answer me!"

"You took her from me, my Lord." I start to back away, fearing where this might lead.

He smiles, his red eyes full of cruelty and joy. "I took her from you—dear one, where are you going?" Suddenly, I can no longer move. "But now she cannot be hidden from you as she was before. Now you know your daughter lives, and if I take her from you now, you will never cease searching for her. I offer you a choice, Bella."

Her eyes soften.

"You once chose your daughter over me, and now that she is back, I believe you might choose her over me once more. It is time for you to prove where your loyalties truly lie." He glances at me, then focuses back on my mother. "You are my most proficient combatant in the art of the Cruciatus Curse." I take a short, quiet breath. "Now you must choose on which of us to display your skill." Her mouth opens to protest, her face paling, but Voldemort continues before she has the chance to say anything, "Fear not, Bella, no harm shall befall you, no matter which of us you choose."

"My Lord—"

"Choose."

I look between Voldemort and Bellatrix.

"Mum, please don't do this, I love you!"

My mother closes her eyes and purses her lips, then stands to her feet. When she opens her eyes once more, the tears are gone, replaced by cold resolve. Then she raises her wand, and I close my eyes, silently pleading that she not attack me.

"Crucio!"

Every inch of my body erupts in pain, and I collapse to the floor, screaming out mindlessly, my body flailing viciously as it tries to escape the excruciating burn that has consumed me. My throat feels as if it's ripping open from this high-pitched shriek coming out of me. Darkness floods my vision, tears stream down my face, my breathing becomes labored. Somehow, I manage to cry, "Please!"

And the pain immediately leaves.

I try to catch my breath; then the Dark Lord's chilly voice washes over me. "Did I tell you to cease the curse?"

"My Lord—"

"I did not give you permission to stop," he says, and I immediately begin sobbing. "Continue."

"My Lord—"

"Continue, Bella."

"Crucio!"

My body is ablaze with pain again, all of it coursing through my veins. My eyes pound against their sockets, threatening to pop out of my head altogether. My skull is splitting in two. My vision fails me, leaving me blind in this torture, and all I can do is scream mindlessly. "PLEASE!" I manage to screech once again before sobs take over and I begin vomiting. Unlike last time, the pain does not stop with my pleas. All I want to do right now is die. My skin is peeling back from my bone like a banana. In my uncontrolled flailing, I slam my face against the floor, and something wet and sticky spills from my nostrils. Warm liquid streams from my eyes, and my screams become so loud, so rough, that the taste of iron fills my mouth as if my throat has finally been ripped.

What feels like hours later, the Dark Lord finally says, "Enough."

I gasp for air, then vomit again and collapse on my back beside my mess. Wiping my mouth with the back of my shaking hand, I pry my eyes open to find the Dark Lord staring down at me, his eyes hard and unyielding. With what little energy left in my body, my legs push me away from him, sliding me across the floor and getting a blessed few armlengths away from him and turn my face aside to hide my tears. This doesn't stop him, of course—he simply follows me, then crouches down beside me and touches my cheek. Then he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him directly. "Remember this, Charlotte. Your mother is mine. You cannot take her from me." He glances up at Bellatrix and release me, then stands to his full height. "Send her back to Hogwarts."

I pull my knees to my chest and watch as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Disapparates. "Aurelia!" Bellatrix cries the moment the Dark Lord is gone. She rushes toward me, tears trickling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry! I had no choice!"

"Stay away from me!" I squeal hoarsely, trying to push her away from me with my shaking arms. "Get back! Don't fucking touch me!" I slide away quickly, trying to do anything to keep some distance between the two of us. "I loved you!" I've been betrayed twice today, and in two bitterly disturbing ways: Snape killed Dumbledore and ruined any chance of me escaping the Dark Lord, and my mother Cruciated me for nearly seven minutes.

"Aurelia, please," Bellatrix tries again. "What would you have had me do?" She reaches down and puts her hand on my leg.

"Don't touch me, don't you dare fucking touch me!" I weep, kicking out at her. Bellatrix jerks her hand back as if she has just touched live coal. "Don't touch me."

"Aurelia, I love you. You know I wouldn't have—"

"Get away from me, you evil bitch!"

She takes a few steps back. "Aurelia, you have to trust me."

"Trust you!" I shout, tears flowing down my cheeks. "TRUST YOU? AFTER WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE TO ME?"

"Aurelia, you know I had no choice!"

"I'm not Aurelia, I'm Charlotte! Stay the hell away from me!"

"Aurelia—"

"Put your wand down!" I cry. "I can't trust you!"

It looks like she's debating what I've said, then slowly sets her wand on the floor and raises her hands. "I won't hurt you. You have to believe me—"

I lunge at her and take her to the floor, my hands around her neck as I squeeze as tightly as I can, blood dripping from my nose, my mouth, my eyes, onto her face. She chokes, splutters, tries to pry my hands off her, but I don't budge—instead I lean forward to put more of my weight on my arms. She reaches up for my face, but I pull my head away from her, protecting my eyes and nose as much as possible from her fingers. "You tried to kill me! And now I'm going to kill you." Bellatrix claws at my face, my neck, my shoulders, peeling my skin and drawing blood, unable to reach her wand, unable to get my hands off her, true fear in her eyes. And it feels good to have her fear me. Her throat pulses against my palms, and anticipation fills me as I look toward the moment it ceases. She deserves to die. I can end this now. She closes her eyes, gasping as best she can. It's not until my tears splash onto my hands that I realize what I'm doing—you are not your mother—and lessen my hold. Bellatrix takes a breath, coughing, and though my hands are still on her neck, she can breathe. I lower my voice to a whisper. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again, Bellatrix. I want you out of my life. Next time I won't stop."

"Oi!" a voice booms. I look toward the entrance to see another Death Eater, one I don't know. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Run," Bellatrix breathes.

I waste no time scrambling off her and over to my wand. As I Disapparate from Malfoy Manor, I see a gleam of silver coming toward me, hear one last shriek from my mother crying out, "NO!" and land on the rough forest ground just outside Hogwarts, something sharp lodged in my side.