A Simpsons Love Story It's Love Day, a new holiday invented by big corporations to make more money. And Marge decides to teach the kids about love when they're not very enthusiastic about Love Day and just want to watch cartoons. The family then reminiscent about various encounters involving love.
PlotA big media corporation is having a business meeting. Their stocks are going down.
"Well Johnson how are we doing?" Mr Cosington asked.
"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to report strong holiday sales... from the Christmas-Hanu-Kwanzaa spend phase. And things look good for the Mom-Dad-Grad gift corridor. Uh, then we'll have the usual summer lull. But, hey, we're making enough money, right?" said a young businessman.
The cigar chomping CEO wasn't impressed he clicked his fingers and two heavy goons dragged the businessman outside and took his board and charts etc.
"Heeeeeey!" The young employee whined.
"We need some big ideas fast! How bout you?" The cigar chomping CEO asks a board member.
He comes up with a bad idea and is dragged out of the meeting.
"Ummmmmm... Summermas."
Mr Cosington clicked his fingers and goons dragged out the young man.
"Heeeeeey! You'll be hearing from my union!"
"How about a new holiday?" another board member asked.
"Yes. How about Love Day, but not all cuddly and schmaltzy." The CEO suggested.
"Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables." A board member agreed with him.
"How about something religious? We had great penetration last spring with Christmas II." said a black lady board member. Mmmmmm! Penetration...
"Ooh. I know. Spendover. Like Passover, but less talk, more presents." said a black haired guy.
"You clearly don't get on with your Jewish relatives do you..." Jurkle frowned at him. Why he's in a shareholder meeting I don't know.
[All Talking]
"Product Day?"
"No! We're doing Love Day. But please don't make it extremely lame..." said the CEO.
...
One day Bart, Oscar, Hugo and Lisa get up to find Homer and Marge are celebrating the new holiday, Love Day. They have decorated the inside and the outside of the house for Love Day. Basically the decorations are love hearts and Cupids. Like Valentines Day.
"Happy Love Day!" Marge and Homer celebrate with party horns.
"Dad, this is just a fad big corporations came up with to make extra money..." Lisa explained, uninterested.
"Don't you ruin another Love Day, Lisa!" Homer told her off.
"Dad this is the first ever Love Day!" Lisa saw a flaw in his statement.
"Oh." Homer replied.
"Are there any presents?" Bart asked.
"No because Hugo will eat them." said Homer.
Hugo winced exasperated.
"Dad he's not a character yet..." said Lisa.
Homer sighed.
"No, but we got this kiss me boogie lantern!" Marge had a jack o'lantern toy that had been repurposed as a Love Day toy. "Kiss it and it dances!"
"I'd rather not..." Bart didn't want to.
"Go on! Kiss it!" Homer said in a creepy manner like he was demanding Bart kiss the toy. "Kiss it,.."
"Maybe later..." Bart said before going off to watch cartoons with Lisa.
Homer sighed and put down the kiss me boogie lantern. Santa's Little Helper licked it. It started dancing! "Woohoo!" Homer started dancing to the toy. Oscar joined in.
Soon, Love Day was over.
"Hmmmmm, I better put Love Land away until next year." Marge said, disappointed Bart, Hugo and Lisa were not very enthusiastic about the new holiday. They were just happy having a new day off from school each year.
...
Outside on the front lawn was an electric musical animatronic display that wouldn't look out of place at a theme park. On the Valentine's Day themed heart shaped stage were an orchestra of cartoon bears wearing diapers and playing musical instruments. They looked very much like Care Bears.
"Cooooool! They're cute cuddly wuddly teddy bears! And they're wearing diapers!" Oscar remarked.
"Oscar you like anything as long as it involves diapers..." Bart remarked.
"Well I think we can keep Love Land on for a few more hours." Marge changed her mind and was in better mood because of Oscar's enthusiasm. Even if he just liked the musical, diaper wearing cartoon bears.
"Yeah it would be a terrible waste of a holiday for it not to last past one afternoon even if it's just a marketing ploy." said Lisa.
"Yes but the memories would last for ever..." said Homer sighing with joy.
"I don't want to remember that..." said Bart grimacing because Oscar was on the Loveland stage wearing nothing except a diaper as he danced with the teddy bear animatronic band playing musical instruments.
The Simpsons went inside.
"Well this Love Day is getting rather excruciatingly painful... and Dull..." Hugo sighed.
"Hey where did Oscar go?" Marge asked.
Bart's cell phone beeped.
"I just got a text from Oz saying "I haven't been in such excruciating pain since that time I got a hernia..." said Bart.
A hospital ward. Oscar is in bed.
"All right, we were able to fix your hernia, but you've got to stop lifting sewer hole covers." said Dr Hibbert.
"But the Ninja Turtles live down there. I'm friends with them." said Oscar. XD!
"Hey, kid, I brought you flowers. But stay out of the sewers! We're trying to work down there." said a sewer worker wearing a hard hat.
"Thanks, Donatello!" Oscar cheered.
...
Homer got a Love Day gift from his wife, Marge.
"Sir Lovesalot! The talking teddy bear!" Homer was overjoyed.
"Isn't that just a repurposed Teddy Ruxpin..." Bart remarked.
"Well yeah, if you want to be pedantic..." Homer replied. He hugged the teddy bear. It spoke a few prerecorded lines it was program to say.
"I am Sir Lovesalot. The bear who loves to love."
"They didn't have Lord Huggington?" Oscar asked.
"It's the same basic bear, Oscar..." said Marge.
"No it's not." said Oscar.
"Guys stop going on about lame teddy bears..." Bart groaned.
Oscar was hugging Teddy while Homer debated the differences between Sir Loves A Lot and Lord Huggington.
Bart groaned. "Do whatever you want. I'm getting a candy apple."
"Love Day apple." said Homer.
"Whatever..." Bart groaned.
"Hmmmm, I wish you kids would show a little more enthusiasm!" Marge sighed. "Love is very important."
"Yeah, we wouldn't have had you three if it wasn't for love." Homer added.
"Homer not that kind of love..." Marge sighed.
"Oh we already learnt about love, at school." said Bart. "Once there was bunny called Fuzzy bunny..."
"Bart! I just told your father, not that sort of love!" Marge said sharply.
Marge sighed. "I mean romance..."
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off, piece by piece!" Lisa retorted.
"That's not true! I know plenty of experiences we have had involving love!" Marge explained.
...
There was a flashback to "Lady Bouvier's Lover" which ended with Jaqueline getting back with Abe somehow because she couldn't decide who to marry as she didn't like him or Mr Burns.
"It all started on Maggie's birthday..." said Marge.
The kids watch the Itchy and Scratchy episode where Scratchy gets crushed by the moon.
"How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?" Marge asked.
"It's a new episode." said Bart.
"Not exactly...they pieced it together from old shows, but it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth." said Lisa.
"Really?" Bart asked.
"Ren & Stimpy do it all the time." said Lisa smugly.
"You Eeediot!" Ren was heard shouting at Stimpy.
"Yes they do, and when was the last time you heard anyone talk about Ren and Stimpy?" Marge sighed.
"They've been in the news a lot lately! There's a scandal involving the creator of Ren and Stimpy! Why I've heard he turned out to be a right weirdo..." said Oscar.
"Oz! We don't want to know!" said Bart.
"Well I want you kids alert and helping getting the house ready for Maggie's birthday party." said Marge.
The family were now sitting in the kitchen.
"That wasn't romantic. We nearly ended up as five fingered weirdos with no overbites!" Bart explained. They then turned into the creepy bread commercial kids.
Homer screamed and ran out the kitchen.
Marge winced.
"That was just freaky." said Oscar.
...
a moment later.
"Well, you tell a romantic story." Marge asked.
"Easy." Bart replied. There is a flashback of an episode of Itchy and Scratchy where Itchy whacks Scratchy with a hammer knocking out his eyes. He gives Scratchy red bombs painted to look like eyes. Scratchy puts them in his eye sockets and gives Itchy a friendly handshake. Later Scratchy brushes his hair while looking in a mirror. He then screams with realisation before his head explodes.
Marge abruptly ends the flashback. "That's not what I had in mind..." She said frowning at Bart.
"That episode was cool!" said Oscar.
"Oh! I got one!" Homer suggested.
"It has to romantic." Marge added.
"Romantic ay..." Homer thought as the flashback started. However it was clips of him saying Mmmmm! At things he liked.
"Mmmmm! Chocolate! Mmmmm! Little party sandwiches! Mmmmmm Fattening! Mmmmm! Something! Mmmmmm! Marge! Mmmmmm! Sacrilicious!"
"Hmmmmm! That's not what I meant..." Marge sighed. "Oh I have one!"
A clip from "Black Widower" was shown.
"No no no! Not that one!" Marge interrupted the flashback. A clip from "Marge's Birthday" was shown. Marge narrated a faster paced version of her disappointing birthday gift and her whirlwind romance with Jacque Brunswick and her deciding to get back with Homer and to forgive him.
"I got a thoughtless birthday present from someone who shall remain nameless." said Marge.
"Spoiler alert. Dad...' said Bart.
Bart! As I was saying...
However at the end of the flashback Homer was horrified Marge was considering cheating on him! "Marge, I never want to see you with this Jacque ever again!" Homer insisted.
"Fine..." Marge sighed.
...
"Since we're traumatising the kids with extra marital infidelity... I have a little love story of my own!" Homer said sarcastically. He told the story of him and Mindy at work. The story ended with Homer ending it with Mindy and spending his last night at the hotel with Marge.
"So what happened to Mindy?" Bart asked.
"Yeah, What happened?!" Marge asked suspicious of him.
"Well, she hit the bottle pretty bad, developed a drinking problem and lost her job." Homer explained.
"Oh. Good." Marge replied. "Anyone else got a story?"
"I got one!" Bart explained. His flashback was "Bart the Lover."
"No wait that wasn't romantic at all!" Bart abruptly ended his story and shivered in disgust.
"Yeah Bart, you were more confused than Pete Burns that day." said Oscar.
Bart throttled him.
"Let go of him!" Marge told off Bart.
"How about where Selma married Sideshow-" Oscar asked.
"No!" Everyone said at once to him.
Oscar pouted.
Plot 2Suddenly, Milhouse popped through the window. "And there is a story... of my first love, the oh-so-lovely Samantha. I still visit her at the girls' catholic school during recess when I get the chance."
"Yeah but then Bart ruined things by telling her dad and he got her sent to that catholic school..." said Oscar.
Milhouse lost it and ninja leapt into the kitchen. "You sonnuva! I'll kill you!" He throttled Bart.
The Simpsons winced.
Bart wheezed and gasped.
"Thankfully though I prevented that from happening in my canon. Of Course Bart fell out with me again over it..." said Oscar.
"Lisa?" Marge asked Lisa.
Lisa thought long and hard of her short term relationship with Ralph before he started being clingy and embarrassing.
And there was the funny Ralphisms...
" ... and my doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose-bleeds if I kept my finger out of there" he said.
"Eeeeeew!" Lisa groaned.
"So if I eat my mom's nail polish, that's not me painting my insides the way they paint the inside of the house?" Ralph asked.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Then at the Wiggums Chief Wiggum was telling Ralph about persistence." said Lisa trying to tell the story.
"Persistence is one thing, but seeing a man in uniform? That's an entirely different kettle of fish" Wiggum replied, giving Ralph a cautionary look. "I hope you know by me saying that in no way permits you to fill my uniform with boiling hot water and trout again, am I clear?" he asked.
Oscar screamed with laughter.
Bart clutched his ears in pain.
"Okay maybe move on Lisa with the story, Oscar's getting the giggles..." Marge sighed as Oscar was laughing.
...
Lisa continued the story.
Ralph started taking the relationship too seriously and assuming Lisa loved him. She just wanted to be friends.
He embarrassed her on TV on the Krusty the Clown show by saying aloud that he wanted to marry her.
"Noooooooo!" Lisa screamed.
"Oh wait that one didn't end nicely." Lisa sighed as she quickly ended her flashback. "And oh, yes, I briefly had a crush on Nelson Muntz, but sadly...it didn't last long."
"Nelson hasn't happened yet..." Oscar sighed.
"We um had a fling when Bart got his glasses for his lazy eyes." said Lisa.
"Uh how about no that did not happen..." said Oscar.
"Well it did." said Lisa.
"Well Let's hear about it then." said Bart.
Lisa sighed.
One day Lisa was going to the town library.
There was a bearded man in rags clung to the head of Jebediah's enormous statue,
"Wilsooooooon! I'm so sorry Wilsoooooooon! Wilsoooooon!"
Lisa grimaced and continues to the library.
She spots Nelson Muntz, an ape of a bully who picks on her brother regularly. He is grabbing tadpoles from the town square's decorative fountain and eating them.
"Get in my mouth you stupid tadpoles!" Nelson yelled.
Lisa grimaced.
"What are you Lookin' at?! I'm having my brunch!" said Nelson.
"Uh..." said Lisa.
Then Gamblor was attacking the town again.
"HOLEY MOLEY MOLEY!" Oscar yelled.
...
"Bart how about you? And not itchy and Scratchy where Itchy pulls out his heart..." Marge sighed.
"Kali maaaaa..." Oscar chanted.
Hugo winced at him.
Bart yeeted Oscar to another dimension. IE threw him but Yeet is a meme verb.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Teddy." said Oscar in another dimension with Teddy, his living teddy bear creature with the big wet shiny black nose.
Back at home.
"Oh yes," Bart recalled. "There was one girl who gave love a bad name...she was a loaded gun...Jessica Lovejoy..."
"Bart that hasn't happened yet..." said Oscar returning from the other dimension.
"Oh yeah. Never mind. I haven't dated Jessica yet."
Marge sighed. "Oscar how about you? Do you have a story about true love?"
"Mom no!" Bart whined.
"Yes I most certainly do!" said Oscar. "The love between me and my teddy bear Teddy!" Oscar hugged his teddy bear creature called Teddy.
We cut to a clip of Teddy sniffing Baby Oscar's diaper. Oscar is blushing and uncomfortable.
Bert face palmed.
Marge winced. "Um no..."
"Dad this lesson about love doesn't appear to have struck its chord..." said Lisa.
"I have a story of true love..." said Homer thinking.
He dreamt of the time he sat in Maggie's kiddie pool drinking bear and eating a hotdog, naked...
"There you are. Thought you could get away, huh?" Homer grinned grabbing his soaking wet half eaten hotdog.
"Homer that's not romantic..." Marge said disgusted.
"Ugh..." Bart groaned in disgust.
Oscar gawked baffled.
...
The Simpsons sighed.
"Wait there's Bart's weird crush on Laura the babysitter..." Lisa smirked.
"Don't you dare!" Bart snarled.
A flash back started.
"Aggggggh!" Bart screamed angrily.
In the flashback it's Bart's weird imagination spot where evil Laura pulled out his heart.
"Looks like you won't be needing this!" She pulled out his heart. and threw it in the bin.
"Kali maaaaaa! Kali ma shakti de! Kali maaaaa!" Oscar chanted.
"Oz! No!" Bart yelled.
"Kali maaaaaa..." Oscar rasped.
Marge sighed.
"Then I found out she was dating Jimbo..." Bart continued.
In New Kid on the Block in canon, Laura was dating Jimbo. I made this a separate episode in my canon.
"Ugh... well that story didn't last long..." said Marge.
Bart seethed Ned glared at Lisa for airing his private crushes that would never ever happen.
"Well anyway I was hurt that Laura was already dating when-"
"Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields..." John Lennon was singing in the flashback.
"JOHN LENNON WAS NOT IN THAT EPISODE!" Bart yelled at Oscar.
"Fine! There were space kittens with ray guns!" said Oscar.
Bart clonked him on the head.
"Owie!" Oscar whined.
"Bart!" Marge told Bart off for hitting Oscar.
...
"Hmmmmm, I guess your right... Romance is dead..." Marge sighed.
"I ain't licked yet!" Homer had a story. His was from "The way we were." It was the story of how they met at high school.
"Why do birds suddenly appear..." that song kept playing every time young Marge entered a classroom etc.
"Can you stop playing that same song?!" Oscar yelled at a film crew member off set.
Bart winced.
"I wasn't interested at first, but your father pursued..." Marge continued talking about at first she didn't notice or seem interested in him but eventually she fell for him.
"And then..." Bart asked.
"Well your father invited me back to his father's house and..." said Narge explaining the night they studied French before the night of the prom.
"His head exploded!" said Oscar with glee.
Young Homer's bead inflated and he yelled before it exploded like a balloon after being over inflated.
Bart laughed.
"No!" said Marge.
"An anvil fell on you?" Oscar asked.
"No!"
"Homer carved a sculpture of Harpo Marx making a gookie face?" Oscar asked.
Marge seethed.
The story had ups and downs before ending happily ever after with Homer's "and we never have." Line over the end as various clips from past episodes are shown of them kissing! Yeeeuck!
"Oh Homer!" Marge said lovingly. "See kids? Romance is alive and well! Kids?" However the kids had snuck off to watch Itchy and Scratchy in the lounge. Their laughter could be heard.
Marge and Homer sighed and started kissing.
Elsewhere at a large mansion.
Artie Ziff had everything. Except the girl he was obsessed with from high school. He had a creepy shrine dedicated to Marge with photos of her etc.
He sighed.
...
That night Marge was suddenly woken up by Love Land still playing outside.
"Homer, Homer wake up! I think we've accidentally left Love Land on!" Marge tried to wake Homer.
He tossed and turned in his sleep.
"Homer... give me a sign you're listening..." Marge sighed.
Homer burped.
"Homer!" Marge had to raise her voice slightly.
"Wha? Uh?" Homer woke confused.
"Homer we've accidentally left Love Land on! Come on! We'll have to go down and turn it off!" Marge explained.
Meanwhile out their bedroom window Oscar could be seen dancing on the Love Land animatronic's stage just wearing a diaper.
"Someone turn off that racket!" A neighbor yelled.
Homer sighed and went downstairs and turned off Love Land and got Oscar inside and off to bed.
He got back into bed. Marge was reading a romance novel.
"This romance is so full of heartfelt passion. I can really identify with this corn-fed heroine." Marge sighed.
"Mmmmmmmm! Corn..." xOscar moaned from outside in the corridor.
"Oz! Go to sleep!" Homer groaned. He snored.
"Homer! Wake up!" Marge yelled.
"What's wrong? House run away? Dog's on fire?" Homer asked. XD! Dog on fire...
"No! I'm concerned the kids learnt nothing from Love Day.' said Marge.
"Oh..." said Homer.
"There is only one guy who can help us..." said Marge.
"Is it Batman?" Homer asked.
"No!" said Marge.
Plot 3The god of love Eros/Cupid was at the Simpsons house. He took upon the appearance of a baby with angelic wings wearing a diaper and holding a bow with a quiver over his shoulders with love arrows inside.
"Okay you owe me fifty dollars and I really need my diaper changed." said Cupid.
"Eeeeew!" said Homer.
At breakfast.
"One day I want to lead a mighty skeleton army!" said Oscar. "Just like Ray Harryhausen..."
"No Oz..." Bart groaned.
Hugo ate his cereal slowly while giving Oscar a concerned look.
Marge and Homer came in with Cupid.
"Children, your father and I have fed you and clothed you... but we've neglected something more important." said Marge.
"Yeah he's called Hugo." said Oscar annoyed over their cruel neglect when it came to caring for Hugo.
"Shut up!" Homer snarled.
"It's time to learn about love." said Marge.
"Oh god! They're gonna teach us about sex!" Oscar screamed.
"Oscar no!" Marge yelled. "We're not teaching you about that! And don't use that word!"
"Seeeeeeex..." said Oscar.
Marge grumbled annoyed.
"Anyway... It's time to learn about love." said Marge.
"No need. We already learned in school." said Bart. "This is Fuzzy Bunny..."
"Bart no! Not that sort of love!" said Marge.
"Hes talking about sex." Homer whispered to Lisa making her disturbed.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
"Hey lady, anyone scene my cello?" asked one of the diaper wearing Love Day bears.
Marge looked baffled.
"Anyway what's with the Roman god in a diaper flying about?" Oscar asked.
"I am Cupid. God of love... Well my mother Venus is goddess of Love, I just help mortals by firing love arrows at them." said Cupid as the little diaper wearing Roman god flew about the kitchen.
...
"Anyway how about we start with your earliest memory of love?" Cupid asked.
"Well..." Bart was thinking of that time he said his first words.
Young Marge and Homer were in bed throwing off their clothes while clearly having sex...
Baby Bart came in while drinking his bottle of milk. "Ay carumba!"
"No Bart! Not that!" Marge sighed. "Kids get your minds out of the gutter... I meant romance and feelings... not that..."
"Okay then Bart's second earliest memory of romantic feelings..." said Oscar.
We cut to Baby Bart and the Curious Bear Cub where the green Curious bear cub was sniffing his diaper.
"Oz that wasn't at all romantic..." Bart winced.
"I thought it was very romantic..." said Oscar feeling aroused.
Bart groaned frustrated.
"Okay everyone go out and play or something at the arcade. At least until Oscar has got his mind out of the gutter..." said Homer.
Oscar was aroused thinking about the curious bear cub from The Happy Little Elves.
Bart decided to go out as the lecture about love was getting boring. He went out.
On the streets of Evergreen terrace he saw Milhouse walking a chihuahua.
"Hey Mil! You got a new dog?" said Bart.
"Yep. Mom bought me a chihuahua. As a reward for not wetting the bed for a week." said Milhouse.
Bart laughed.
"Bart that's not funny. I still wet the bed..." said Oscar.
"I know. You're hilarious too! Gahahahaha!" Bart laughed.
Oscar and Milhouse glared at him.
'What?!" Bart asked.
...
Elsewhere in Springfield.
Sanjay was restocking the inventory of the Kwik e Mart when he found Apu had Han Solo'ed himself in chocolate again.
"Oh by the arms of Shiva!"
"Help! Help! I can't breath!" Apu cried.
"Apu you can't be doing this on Love Day too!" Sanjay broke him free of the chocolate.
"And another thing! Love Day is just Valentines Day in summer!" said Lisa at home.
"Well I always felt February was too cold for Valentine's Day." said Homer.
Lisa went out and played her saxophone. She heard Bill Clinton playing his saxophone.
"Hey Clinton! Get back to work!" Moe yelled.
"Bite me." said Bill Clinton playing his saxophone.
Lisa didn't mind the president that much, she just wished he'd be honest and admit to that affair he had with Monica.
Bart was still laughing at Milhouse and Oscar.
"You know what? I don't know why I'm your friend Bart... I'm going home, don't call me out to play anymore." Milhouse went home.
Bart groaned.
"Call me when you've learned to show some sympathy for "Special" kids..." Oscar said sharply.
"Oz you're six and still wearing diapers!" Bart yelled.
Oscar flipped double birds at him and left.
Bart stood there glum. Everybody Hurts by REM started playing.
"Oz! No copyrighted background music!" Bart yelled.
REM's Everybody Hurts continued playing. As if Oscar was defying him by continuing to play it.
...
And now for what their one night stands got up to.
Jacques was in his apartment bathroom getting ready.
"OH GOD! THE APARTMENT IS ON FIRE!" He screamed as the apartment was randomly on fire again.
He decided to go bowling while it was left to burn.
Mindy turned to alcoholism.
Barry Manilow then sang Mandy but changed the words to Mindy.
"Oooooooh Mindy..."
This still wasn't as bad as the time he tried to change the words to "Oh Quagmire..."
Ralph accepted Lisa's platonic friendship of "let's just be friends."
"He still comes to the house with flowers or a sing a gram..." Lisa sighed answering the door to Ralph who was wearing a three piece suit and holding a bouquet of flowers.
"At the zoo today I set fire to the monkeys!" said Ralph.
Lisa grimaced uncomfortable.
Laura Powers was completely unaware Bart fancies her. Let's just keep it that way. Unlike Stewie's crush on his babysitter.
"I got fired because the baby had a weird inappropriate crush on me!?" Stewie's babysitter yelled.
In canon Samantha Stanky ended up in a covenant. In my fanon her mother got full custody of her and moved to Springfield to undermine her father thanks to Oscar's help.
Bart frowned as Milhouse was too busy kissing Samantha in his treehouse to help with pranks.
"Milhooooouuuuse!" Bart yelled like Marlon Brando from A Streetcar Named Desire.
"Stellaaaaaaa!" Oscar yelled.
Bart face palmed.
...
At home. The kids were watching cartoons.
Oscar was juggling mantelpiece ornaments.
"Kids pay attention please! I'm trying to teach you about love!" said Marge.
"What is love?" Bart asked pondering.
"Baby don't hurt me! Baby do hurt me! No mooooooore!" Oscar sang while playing his guitar.
Bart groaned and rested upon his folded arms exasperated.
Msrge grimaced baffled.
"Love for example can be something you really enjoy." said Marge.
"Enjoy eh?" Bart had a flashback.
It was of all his prank phone calls to Moe.
"Jacque Strap."
"Amanda Hugandkiss."
"I Pee Freely."
"Seymour Butts."
"Ivana Tinkle."
"Mike Rotch..."
"Homer Sexual..."
"Hugh Jass."
"Myra Butt Reeks."
"Oliver clothes off..."
"No! No! No! That's not what I meant!" said Marge.
"Marge we should be mad at him for prank calling poor Moe." said Homer annoyed.
"Anyway can one of you kids tell a story relevant to the subject of love...?" Marge sighed.
"Does the love between me and my Pigeon-Rat count?" Hugo asked.
"No!" said Marge.
Hugo sighed.
...
"Well... what about that time I tried to join Boy Scouts and the drill sergeant scout master wouldn't let me?" Oscar asked.
Alright, listen up, maggots, because I'm only going to say this once. The Scouts are no place for bed-wetters and weaklings, so if you need to take a bathroom break in your big-boy pants, either keep it to yourself or get lost!" said the drill sergeant scout master.
In the present Oscar frowned.
"Oz. One you're only six, you're too young for scouts. And secondly no you can't wear diapers to scouts!" Bart groaned.
Marge sighed.
"Why do I even bother..." Marge groaned.
"Because you like it when I disrupt these flashback episodes with my zany nonsense..." Oscar smirked.
"I have a story of love." said Grampa.
"If it's about Bea, Dad was being a jerk and dragged you to the zoo, we got stuck in the lion area and she died of a broken heart..." said Bart.
"And you fell out with Dad..." said Lisa.
"Oh yeah..." said Grampa miserable over Bea.
Marge sighed.
"We need to end on a happy note..."
"With When Homer Met That Ginger Woman With Big Honkers..." Bart said out of nowhere
"BART!" Homer shouted
"Will you brats just pay attention?! I need love in this world so I may live! Oy vey!" said a Jerry Lewis voiced Cupid.
Bart winced.
"Yeah whatever, flying diaper boy." said Oscar to Cupid.
"Anyway Love Day ended yesterday. Today is Chase Greased up nude Groundskeeper Willie festival. It's like Family Guy's Chase the Greased up Deaf Guy but far less offensive." said Oscar.
"How am I offensive?" The Greased up Deaf Guy asked.
"Deafness isn't funny. And deaf people don't all speak in high voices..." said Oscar.
The Simpsons sighed annoyed.
Plot 4The local park.
It is Chase after Greased Up Groundskeeper Willie Day.
All the men in town were chasing Groundskeeper Willie, who was naked and covered in grease. Barney caught him but he slipped out of his grip because he was greasy.
"Ach! I'm too slippery for you Americans!" Willie yelled.