Sideshow Bob Roberts Sideshow Bob returns again. This time to run for mayor as a republican candidate after they help him get out of prison with a campaign from Republican journalist, Birch Barlow.
PlotLisa is listening to the radio for her school project. Birch Barlow is on ranting as usual.
"Hrrrrmmm! Lisa, you know I don't like that Birch Barlow..." Marge groans.
"I don't like him either Mom, but I have to do this for my school project." Lisa explained.
"I have a school project too! I'm putting on a fireworks display at school for some Chinese school principals..." said Oscar holding a box of fireworks.
"Hmmmmm! I wish you wouldn't tell tales..." said Marge.
"Uh uh! My boom boom rockets!" Oscar shied away from her and fled.
"Oscar! Hand those over right this moment!" Marge raised her voice slightly.
"People there are many things wrong with Springfield. The bats in the library." A man screams as bats fly out of a draw. Mrs McFully's garbage pile." A mad old southern lady was guarding a large pile of trash with a shotgun and laughing. "The snakes in the public fountain." Everyone screamed and ran way as snakes poured out of the fountain. "And our tax dodging, cheating and illiterate mayor Quimby."
"Hey! I am no longer illiterate!" said Quimby.
"Illiterate! Why you son of a bitch! That deserves a jail sentence alone!" Paige's father, the illiterate hating prosecutor during Krusty's court case. Also it's his job to cross examine people.
"Stop being rude about illiterate people!" Judge Snyder told him off.
Meanwhile Homer is also listening to the radio show guest starring Birch Barlow.
"Homer, how can you listen to that awful man?" Carl asks.
"Yeah he bad mouthed Ted Kennedy!" said Lenny.
"I don't know, this Birch Barlow really speaks to me for some reason..." Homer replies as he eats the donuts.
Meanwhile Birch Barlow is eating donuts... he then has a guest speaker.
"All the way from Springfield Penitentiary. Yet another Republican voter railroaded by democrats! Hello there..." Birch answers the caller and puts them live.
However Lisa recognizes the caller's voice. It's Sideshow Bob! Dun dun dun! Lisa gasps in horror.
"Wrongfully imprisoned for attempted murder! Ha! What next! They give out Nobel prizes for attempted nuclear physics?!" Sideshow Bob rants during a prison riot.
"Fire in the hole!" Ice Pick was throwing flaming toilet roll.
"Now really! This is a personal call!" said Bob annoyed.
"And that's our libtard ran justice system folks! For shame!" said Birch Barlow.
...
Lisa runs up to Bart's room.
"Bart! Your mortal enemy is on the radio!" She turns it on and the Dr Dimento show is on.
"Nyahahahaha!" Dr Demento is laughing maniacally. "It's time to get demented for the Dr Demento show! Nyahahaha! Wipe out!" Surfer music plays.
"Aaaaaaaagh!" Bart screams and throws the radio out the window.
"No! Your other mortal enemy! Sideshow Bob!" Lisa explained.
"Aw gee! I'm only ten and I already have two mortal enemies!" Bart whines. Homer comes in angry with a bump on his head and Bart's radio alarm clock.
"Bart! Stop throwing your radio out the window!"
"What's going on?" Oscar asked.
"It's Sideshow Bob. He's up to something again..." said Lisa.
"Who's that?" Homer asked being stupid.
"About yay tall, red dreadlocks like a palm tree..." said Oscar.
"Dad you cannot be this forgetful... He started his crime spree robbing the Kwik e Mart dressed as Krusty..."
We cut to previous clips of Sideshow Bob episodes.
"He kidnapped Bart numerous times..."
We see a clip from Slideshow Bob.
"He tried to murder Aunt Selma..."
Uh Huh..." said Homer.
"He tried to murder me!" said Bart.
"Ooooooh! That Sideshow Bob!" said Homer.
Homer went off whistling.
"I don't think Dad's brain is working properly..." Bart said dryly.
"Uh huh." said Lisa.
...
Homer was taking Lisa for a drive somewhere.
Birch was on the radio insulting the democrats. "So my friends lets just dump those dumbocrats and their smellfair programme!" said Burch.
"Hehehe! Smellfair..." Homer chuckled
"Dad! I've had to listen to this jerk all morning! Can't we listen to something else?!" Lisa whined.
"Lisa sweetie. When I'm driving the car, we listen to what I want to listen to! When you're driving the car, we'll listen to what you want..."
They switch places so Lisa is now driving. Lisa has St Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) by John Parr on. "Those eagles flying higher and higher!" Apparently they made Elmo from Sesame Street a Saint...
"Oh god no! I can't take it anymore! Let's switch back!" Homer cried.
they switched back and Lisa sat annoyed as Birch was back on the radio insulting the democrats.
"Can we stop at Apu's? I want a Squishee..." said Oscar.
"No." said Homer.
Oscar started singing Man in Motion/St Elmo's fire. "I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher!"
Homer screamed. "Aaaaaaagh! Okay okay! We'll stop at Apu's!"
Oscar and Lisa went in the Kwik e Mart.
"So Bob looks like a palm tree with red dreadlocks..." Lisa is fascinated in his description of Bob. "Makes sense."
"Or a mindflayer Van Gogh..." said Oscar demented.
Lisa winced exasperated.
The automatic doors chimed as they went in.
"My dark side likes Mary Poppins, no wonder I was bullied at school." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed at his inane comments.
"I do not like Mary Poppins!" Dark Oscar in ghost form yelled.
"Hello children. What can I offer you today. Except booze and cigarettes Oscar. The judge was very specific about that..." said Apu.
"Just this candy bar. I only came in here because Oscar annoyed my dad into stopping here by singing Man in Motion/St Elmo's fire..." said Lisa paying for a candy bar.
...
At school, Bart is listening to the Birch Barlow show.
Birch agrees with Bob that's he's been unfairly imprisoned and announces he will campaign to have him released.
"Noooooooooooooo!" Bart screams in class.
"Well! Despite Bart's protests, Kenya can now enjoy clean water!" Mrs Krabappel tells Bart off for screaming in class.
And that was it for this scene, short, isn't it?
In third grade Oscar was chatting in class to Ace and Inane Brian.
One time I got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as I walked away the guy said "tea you later" and then his coworker smacked him." said Oscar. He buys tea.
Ace winced exasperated. "Okaaaay..."
Mayor Quimby's office.
Mayor Joe Diamond Quimby sighed as Birch continued to insult him on the right wing radio station, Fox I think. While watering his office plants. However one of them was clearly a cannabis plant being kept under a UV light.
He sighed annoyed.
At Moe's.
Moe was listening to Birch campaign to get Bob released from prison.
"I want every loyal listener to do everything they can to get him out of jail." said Birch over the radio.
"All right, you heard the man. One grenade each." Moe gave everyone Hand grenades! Cooool!
"Moe, I think he meant through nonviolent grassroots political action." said Barney.
"Hey, Barney. Shut up." Oscar snapped. "I wanna kill people!"
Homer seethed. "Boy... that's exactly why you're not having a hand grenade! Moe I think Barney is right.." But everyone was in a violent mood today.
At the Vatican.
Elmo from Sesame Street was made a Saint. Because of the song St Elmo's fire.
"Oz St Elmo is not Elmo from Sesame Street..." Lisa groaned in narration.
...
At Home Bart and Lisa desperately turn on the news.
The republicans run an ad against Mayor Quimby slandering him until he relents and has Sideshow Bob released.
"Birch Barlow here people. Author of my first book 'Only Turkeys Have Left Wings'." said Birch.
"Uh Birch every bird has a right and left wing..." said some guy off screen.
"Okay fine, chickens have left wings as well, and that's an insulting bird comparison too!" said Birch. Turkey means something is unsuccessful or pathetic. To call someone chicken is to accuse them of cowardice.
Lisa frowned.
"Mmmmmmmm! Chicken wings..." Oscar moaned and drooled.
Bart grimaced.
In a short clip the penitentiary now has revolving doors and escalators in pairs for the inmates to enter and leave as they please. A reference to George Bush Sr's revolving door policies.
At the Mayors office, Moe and his usual customers were hurling grenades at the Mayor's office. There were explosions and people fleeing and screaming.
Barney face palmed.
"Okay fine! I mandate Sideshow Bob be set free." said Mayor Quimby.
Sideshow Bob is released but walks off the wrong side of the prison island and falls in the sea.
"Boats on the other side Bob!" The prison warden explained. Sideshow Bob murmurs.
Nelson was on the prison island for some reason. "Haw Haw!"
Bob is then interviewed.
He described prison as, well we'll let him say. "A urine soaked hell hole..."
"Can you instead say Pee-pee soaked heck hole?" A journalist asked.
"No." said Bob in a blunt manner.
"Oh no!" Bart whined turning off the news. "This is terrible!"
"I know! Who cares about the wings of a turkey?! You can't make buffalo wings from turkey wings!" said Oscar.
Bart winced.
...
Then the Republicans run a campaign blaming Mayor Quimby for releasing a convicted killer like Sideshow Bob.
"That's just stupid! I don't understand politics!" Bart groans.
"That's because you're a kid..." said Homer in a grouchy tone.
"Dad! I agree with Bart! That Republican ad was stupid! Just as putting sweaters on cats is stupid!" said Lisa.
"No it's not stupid to put sweaters on cats and take photos of them! It's funny and cute!" Oscar argued.
Lisa huffed and rolled her eyes.
"This situation could turn ugly! Especially since there's a mayoral election coming up! What if Sideshow Bob ran against Quimby? I don't like Quimby that much but at least he never tried to kill my little boy!" said Marge.
"Yeah it would be horrible if Bob got enough votes..." said Oscar.
"Pfffft! Only fruity people vote..." said Homer.
"Homer lots of people vote..." said Oscar.
"Voter apathy is terrible! You should vote to keep the worst candidate out of the race! If you don't vote you have no right to complain when the government does something you don't like!" said Lisa.
"Okay fine... I'll start voting..." said Homer.
"The Kwik e Mart is asking people to vote for the best Squishee flavour." said Oscar.
"Cherry all the way dude." Bart loves cherry Squishees.
"I can't believe you don't vote!" Marge was also annoyed by Homer's voter apathy.
Homer sighed.
"On another topic entirely, I love the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz! Mwuhahahaha!" Oscar laughed evilly.
Lisa had a nervous look.
"Yeah I thought all the singing was fruity but those flying monkeys are cool..." said Bart.
"Kids this is serious! Our quite frankly awful, corrupt mayor could be ousted by an even worse mayor!" said Marge.
"Or they could be better than Quimby. I've always wanted Mayor West from Family Guy to run our town. It would be funny..." Oscar chuckled.
Plot 2Meanwhile in a haunted castle labled Republican Party Headquarters. Which looks evil and spooky with lightning and bats flying about!
Mr Burns, The Rich Texan, Rainer Wolfcastle, Birch Barlow, Dr Hibbert, Dracula and a small green vampire Count Orlok-lookalike are sitting around a table.
Smithers is serving drinks.
The Count Orlok vampire licks his lips and takes a glass of blood to drink. Yes vampires...
"Mohok my brothers! Quaram Siliam Mohok!" He says in Latin.
"Mohok!" Everyone replies.
"As you all know we're putting up a candidate for mayor against Mayor Quimby. An illiterate, two timing, buffoon who still hasn't got rid of the bats in the Springfield library!" Birch explains. Bats fly out of a draw when a man opens it, he screams. "Mrs McFully's garbage pile." A mad lady in a southern rural area is guarding a large pile of stinky rubbish with a shotgun. "And the snakes in the town fountain!" Green snakes fly out of the fountain scaring people away.
All the members murmur.
"Therefore allow me to introduce our newest member and candidate!" The door opens to reveal a drinking water dispenser. It gurgles.
"What did it say?" The Rich Texan asks.
"No no! Bob, come in!" Sideshow Bob comes in draped in the American flag.
"A fine Mohok to you all!" He greets the Republicans.
"Wow, he's even better rhan I thought!" Dr Hibbert chuckles.
"Yes, and while we're at it. Bob Dole, you're running for president aren't you?" said Mr Burns.
"Bob Dole loves this country. Bob Dole likes to raise taxes." said Bob Dole.
"DAMNIT BOB DOLE! I said no new taxes!" George Bush Snr yelled thumping the table.
"Bob Dole do good by lobbying handouts for disabled people though." said Bob Dole.
"NO! We're the evil party! Start um... sacrificing children to God or something." said George Bush Snr.
"Are the people gonna vote for a guy with hair like that?!" Rich Texan was concerned about Sideshow Bob's dreadlocks.
Bob sheepishly twiddled with his dreadlocks.
"People don't vote based on hair styles..." said Birch Barlow.
...
The two candidates hold a caucus at Springfield Elementary school. Skinner reminds everyone to behave.
"No shenanigans, wisecracks or pranks! Timmy stop eating worms!"
A boy wars slurping up earthworms he was digging out of the ground.
"Sorry Principal Skinner." said the worm eating boy as he slurped up a worm. Eeeeew!
"Quigley uncross those eyes!" Skinner barked.
"I can't Sir!" said a boy with crossed eyes.
"Oh yeah. Sorry." said Skinner.
"And tuck in your shirt!" Skinner yelled at some kid.
"Hello, children. Hello, Bart." said Bob as his scary theme tune played.
Sideshow Bob lures the audience with circus antics. "Mayor Quimby has sold your futures short!" He shrinks himself small and shuffles about. Kids laugh. "He flip flops! Hey ya! Hey yah!" Bob flip flopped. "He doesn't know where he's coming or going!" He shuffled about back and forth as if he was trying to go two directions at once. Kids laughed.
"Oh no! Quimby's losing the crowd! Bart, we have to play to the lowest denominator!" Lisa explains.
They jump on Mayor Quimby in a loving hug.
"Ah! I'm being attacked by, uh...midgets!" Mayor Quimby yells.
"Ha! Uncle Quimby says we kids are Springfield's most important resource!" Lisa giggles.
"Uh, yes! I did say that!" The crowd cheers for Mayor Quimby. However a republican goon grabs Bart.
He is taken into their limousine.
"Grrrr! That was a big mistake, Bart! No child has ever meddled with the Republican Party and ever lived to tell about it!" Sideshow Bob threatened.
Bart thinks the goons are reaching for their guns and shuts his eyes but they just put Republican stickers and badges on him.
They then kick him out at his house. Homer is then kicked out of Archie's red saloon car.
"Duuuuh! Stay the hell out of Riverdale!" Moose warns before the Archie gang drove away.
"Uuuuuh..." Bart isn't sure what just happened.
...
Things get worse for Bart, he is woken up by Dr Demento.
Dr Demento laughing on the radio.
Bart screamed.
Then he stepped on one Oscar's tiny but sharp plastic dinosaurs. "Ach! SON OF A BEACH BALL!" He yelled.
He hobbled out of his room.
Then Homer took the free toy from the cereal.
"Where's the free toy?! Where's the free toy?!" Bart mad a mess pouring cereal trying to find the free toy.
"Bart! Stop making a mess!" Marge told him off.
Then at school, Principal Seymour Skinner is made by the Republican Party on request by Sideshow Bob to demote Bart to Kindergarten.
"Bart, per special requests from the Springfield Republican Party, and a hefty bribe... you'll be held back."
"I'll have to repeat third grade?" Bart asked.
"Um no, even further back than that. Bart you're going back to kindergarten." said Skinner.
"Kindergarten?!" Bart was shocked.
"Ha!" Mrs Krabappel opens a bottle of champagne.
Bart sighed. He went into the kindergarten. Some of the kindergarteners had toys in their mouths as makeshift pacifiers. Some had runny noses...
Bart sighed.
"Class. We have unusual situation of a five year demotion back down from Fourth grade to Kindergarten. Say hi to Bart Simpson everyone." said the kindergarten teacher.
"Hi!" said the kindergarteners.
Bart sighed.
"Now class, today we're gonna be learning about the alphabet." said the teacher.
Bart sat bored surrounded by tiny little kindergarteners. He was thinking about a Flintstones toy phone. Hehehehe!
...
Meanwhile Sideshow appeals to the elderly about the new expressway he's building. However they're not interested.
"What's in it for us?" Abe yelled waving his stick.
"Yeah, give us something we like... or we'll ride you out of town on a rail!" said Crazy Old Jewish Guy.
Sideshow Bob cleared his throat. "Well, what do you, uh, people like?"
"Sleep!" said Jasper.
"Okay..." said Sideshow Bob.
"Sexy dames and plenty of 'em!" said Crazy Old Jewish Guy.
Bob gawked at him feeling very concerned with the dirty old man.
"Easy to digest eggs..." said the white haired old lady who found the eggs at Gulp N' Blow difficult to digest.
"We want Matlock!" Grampa yells.
"Very well, I shall name it the Matlock express way! And I shall spend all day listening to your delightful stories." Sideshow Bob explains.
"Hot diggity! That's how they got me to vote for Truman!" Grampa and the elderly cheer.
Abe then told his long winded and boring stories...
Not many people know I owned... the first radio in Springfield. Weren't much on the air then. Just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. ""A," he'd say. Then ""B." ""C" would usually follow.
Sideshow Bob sighed flustered by the boring old man.
Elsewhere. Bart belched the alphabet in kindergarten class.
"A! B! C!" He belched.
The tiny kindergarteners laughed.
"Bart! Stop that at once!" The teacher told him off.
Bart bowed.
At story time he kept telling a little kindergartener girl there were fart monsters in the book.
The little girl didn't believe him.
"You're a monkey head." said Miko Hughes from Full House.
Bart sighed.
...
However Sideshow Bob's express way has a more sinister twist to it. He wants to build it across where the Simpsons house is. That means demolishing their house.
"You have 72 hours to evacuate the premises or be buried under the rubble of your former residence..." Sideshow Bob explained to Marge and Homer.
"You can't do this!" Marge gasps.
"Oh I'm afraid I can, Once I'm voted Mayor..." Sideshow Bob explains.
The Simpsons glared at him.
Elsewhere, Birch Barlow wanted to do more horrible things as a cold hearted Republican.
"We need to lock up the homeless!" He explained while eating donuts.
Lisa was outraged by such cruelty.
"You know, the homeless might not mind being indoors. They sit on a flattened cardboard box all day in the rain. They'd appreciate a roof over their heads." said Homer.
Lisa frowned at him.
Fourth Grade, without Bart as he is back in kindergarten.
It was show and tell.
Lewis for Show and Tell confirmed Skinner wears a toupee...
Kids laughed as Skinner hastily puts his toupee on his head properly. And Matt felt this wasn't funny enough for the show...
Another kid showed a clay ash tray they made.
Mrs Krabappel flicked ashes from her cigarette into it.
Nelson brought in a beehive. With live bees!
Kids screamed as the swarm of bees filled the classroom.
Kindergarten.
" O!" The kindergarteners sang and clapped.
Bart added an extra clap.
"Still not college material!" said the old kindergarten teacher.
"Miriam I told you you're fired!" said Skinner to Bart's mean old kindergarten teacher.
...
The old folks home, Bob was still listening to Abe's boring and sometimes ridiculous stories.
"And that leads me onto the story of when the Kaiser stole the number twenty..." said Abe.
Sideshow Bob sighed exasperated.
"Having a ridiculous hair style?! That's a paddlin..." said Jasper.
"It all started in 19 dickety 2..." said Abe.
Home.
Bart pranking called the Gulp n Blow.
"Yello?" Squeaky voiced teen asked.
"Do you have chicken fingers?" Bart asked smirking.
"Why yes..." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.
"Must hurt to pick your nose then! Gahahahaha!" Bart laughed.
Squeaky Voiced Teen sighed.
At school, Bart's in kindergarten with Oscar.
"I can age regress us to look the part more." Oscar suggests.
"No thanks, I want to get out of here as soon as possible!" Bart replies. Soon it's lesson time. Today they're learning about shapes.
"What is this shape?" The teacher shows a triangle.
"Triangle, Miss Emma." Bart answers.
"Very good, Bart, you get first choice of toy.' The teacher excuses him from the mat to play.
"I call the Flintstones phone!" Bart grabs the Flintstones phone and plays with it.
"Yabba dabba doo! I like talking to you!" Says Fred Flintstone. Bart laughs knowing he's being rather childish wanting to play with a toy for kindergarteners.
Plot 3There is then a debate between the candidates.
"I'm your moderator, Larry King. Now a word to our audience." said Larry King.
"Go to Hell Larry King!" Homer yelled. For some reason he hates Larry King.
Larry ignored the heckling from Homer.
"Even though we're being broadcast on... Fox... there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering." said Larry King.
People in the crowd holler and hoot.
"Ugh..." said Larry.
However Mayor Quimby is too ill. "Oooooh... I shouldn't have shaken hands with all those old people..." Quimby groaned.
Bart gives him some headache tablets. But they have a side effect that makes people extra drowsy.
"D'oh!" Bart groaned.
Mayor Quimby is unable to answer questions properly including Birch Barlow's nonsense about a family being held hostage somehow leading to a question about the budget. He sweats and his sweaty hair resembles devil horns. A computer whiz puts flames around him yo make him resemble the devil.
Lisa grumbled annoyed.
"Sideshow Bob what do you think about Councilor Les Wyman who thinks you should still be in prison and not running for mayor?" Kent asked.
"Councillor Les Wyman should do more thinking and less whining!" Sideshow Bob quipped.
The studio audience and Kent laughed.
Bart chuckled. "Okay that was funny!"
"Bart, he's your archenemy and you didn't even understand that joke!" Lisa pointed out.
Bart sighed.
"And there's no Councilor Les Wyman..." said Lisa.
"Not that you know of..." Bart snarked.
Lisa sighed annoyed by him making ridiculous arguments.
...
Sideshow Bob's popularity skyrockets in time for the polls. Some residents are shown voting.
"Hmmm, I don't approve of his Bart killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma killing policy!" Homer votes Bob.
"He tried to kill me. But he was good in bed." Selma votes for her ex-husband, Bob.
"Eh..." Krusty votes for Bob.
Meanwhile Bart and Lisa campaign for Quimby.
"Vote Quimby!" Lisa yells.
"Hey idiot! Vote Quimby!" Bart takes to insulting people.
"This time he's the lesser of two evils!" Lisa warns the alternative candidate is worse than Quimby, Jimbo comes to their table.
"Uh yeah, I love Crimby. Can I have some more bumper stickers?" Jimbo asks.
"Um sure..." Bart is wondering why he is taking all the bumper stickers. However it's revealed Jimbo and the gang are using them to wrap up Milhouse as an Egyptian mummy in a shopping trolley.
"Alright! Our mummy is ready for his mystical journey!" The bullies push the trolley down the road.
"Aaaaaaaahhhh! What's happening?!" Milhouse screams.
Bart winced. "I have to get a Squishee..."
"Knock yourself out..." Lisa lent him money to buy a Squishee.
Sometime later Bart left the Kwik e mart drinking a Squishee when an ominous shadow of a man in a top hat covered him. He looked up to find to his horror the top hat wearing man was his arch nemesis Dr Demento!
"Nyahahahaha!" Dr Demento laughed. He spoke softly and is actually a rather reasonable sounding guy but for some reason Bart is terrified of him. Probably because of his demented music. Also Uncyclopedia has some great ideas like him having a rivalry with Bart and refusing to play his bluegrass songs and trying to summon Yog Sothoth.
Bart screamed.
"Aaaaaaaaaaagh! Dr Demento!" Bart screamed.
"In the flesh." said Dr Demento politely tipping his top hat and bowing.
Oscar winced wondering why Bart disliked Dr Demento.
Suddenly Dr Demento from Rocko's Modern Life, a crazed mouse dentist was there laughing maniacally.
...
Oscar was listening to the radio.
"No sports, no rock, no information; for mindless chatter, we're your station!" said Bill and Marty.
"Coooool! Mindless..." said Oscar.
"Oz the mayoral results are being announced." said Bart changing the station.
"Kallae kistnae..." Oscar rasped.
Bart ignored him as he changed the station.
However Sideshow Bob wins by a landslide.
"And the results are in! Sideshow Bob wins by a landslide!" said Kent over the radio.
"Noooooooooooo!" Bart and Lisa scream as they hear the results.
"Um yes?" said Homer.
"Dad this is bad..." said Lisa.
"Ooooh..." said Homer.
"Ahhhhhhh! We're doomed!" Oscar screamed.
"Doooooomed! Dooooooomed!" Bender the robot yelled.
"Bender you're not even in this show!" Bart groaned.
Meanwhile Sideshow Bob makes his acceptance speech. However he just laughs evilly.
"Mwuhahahaha! Ahahahaha! (Starts to cough towards the end.)"
"And look how happy he is!" said Kent Brockman.
Oscar gawked at the TV.
"I Don't get how one convicted felon can get far mor votes then another convicted felon?" Oscar asked.
"That's politics for ya." said Homer.
"I don't know how either. No one in town is that stupid or evil to vote for Bob..." Lisa was suspicious.
At the aftermath of celebrations the town hall is soon empty. Bob is answering a few last questions and a janitor cleaning up grabs a champagne bottle and runs off home. Hehehe! He really wanted that wine...
"Did he just steal that bottle of champagne?" Bob asked.
...
"Now we'll have to live in a motel..." Bart says glumly.
"As if! I can't afford the six dollars a night!" Homer dismisses such an idea as too expensive.
"No we won't! Bart, we're not giving up just yet!" Marge pulls the family together.
"Yep! Bart, I don't think Sideshow Bob won that election fairly. No one in town is that stupid or evil to want to vote for Bob!" Lisa taps her nose.
"You think he rigged the election?" Bart asks.
"I know he did. I just need proof. To the library!" Lisa declares.
"Aw shucks! Not the library..." Bart groans. They go to the Springfield library. Lisa asks for papers on everyone who voted in the election.
"Here you go." The librarian gives them the results on a long list.
Lisa winced. "I'm not supposed to be able to get access to this. Secret ballot etc. Oh well..."
Lisa reads them while Bart reads through a telephone number guide and giggles at A. Gorilla.
However it's hopeless as everyone on the list pretty much voted for Bob. Lisa briefly falls asleep as a mysterious silhouette leaves behind a letter.
Lisa reads a letter.
It is instructing her to go to a parking lot alone tonight if she wants answers on who voted for Bob and why. A mysterious helper also wants to stop Bob.
At home Bart is moping. "We're gonna lose our home and have to live under a bridge like common trolls..." said Bart playing with his Marge haired troll doll.
A life sized troll from the troll doll franchise came into the kitchen singing a doo be doo doo song and sat down.
"Now enough of that losers talk sweetie! You'll beat Sideshow Bob again this time Sweetie! I have faith in you and your sister!" said Marge comforting Bart.
"Thanks Mom." said Bart.
"After all you're both just kids and you've defeated Bob so many times and foiled all his plans! And he's an evil genius!" said Marge.
"Thanks for the flattery Mom, but I'm flattered out..." said Bart fanning himself.
Marge smiled.
...
The next day the house shook violently. So violently that Hugo was knocked out of the attic.
He laughed madly and ran about.
Homer was awoken by the noises and smashing of wrecking balls. And by Hugo laughing and running about early that morning.
"Ahhhhhhh! It's the rapture! Get Bart out of the house before God comes!" Homer screamed.
"Oh good grief..." Marge sighed.
They found Bob smashing up their house with a demolition crew. And Hugo running about the drive laughing maniacally.
"Get back inside freak!" Homer yelled at Hugo. Hugo went back inside.
"Leave our house alone you horrible man!" Marge yelled at Sideshow Bob.
"The house is getting unstable! We'll have to have breakfast in town before we go to the library!" said Lisa dressed suddenly.
"Okay sweetie. Give Bob Hell for me!" said Marge.
"You too Mom!" said Lisa. "Up yours Bob!" she swore at Mayor Bob, flipping him off!
"You nurse that mouth?" Sideshow Bob asked Marge, rather shocked.
Then Hugo ran out laughing madly on all fours like a dog. Or a feral child.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned trying to catch Hugo.
Hugo jabbered and ran about.
Elsewhere that blue haired kid from the school sings Chuck Berry's My Dingaling again.
Meanwhile Homer and Marge fight off Sideshow Bob's demolition crew. Maggie and Oscar helped them fight the crew back while Hugo pounced on Mayor Bob and began biting him.
"I know what you're up to, Mayor Terwiggiger. And no one in my family is gonna stand for it!" said Homer angrily to Bob.
"Dang nabbit son! Move your goddamn house!" Grampa seems more concerned about using the new Matlock Express Way than his son's family.
Homer winced.
...
Later the Simpsons were exasperated to find Yog Sothoth as a pyramid of spheres on the lawn.
And the couch turning into slime and gluing them to the ceiling.
They sigh while glued to the living room ceiling, plastered under a thick layer of slime.
That night Homer agrees to take Lisa and Bart to the car park to meet their mysterious saviour.
"And we're here. This creepy, empty car lot! Have fun kids!" said Homer.
"Cool! We're just like Woodward and Bernstein!" Lisa says enthusiastically. Whatever they are.
"Yeah, except their dad didn't sit in the back of the car reading Archie comics..." Bart groans.
"Stupid Riverdale punks! Think they're too good for me?!" Homer grumbles while reading Archie comics.
"This place gives me the creeps." said Lisa.
Bart sighed.
The mysterious man appears in the shadows.
"I see you have come. Now to explain my sec-" However Homer shines his high beams on the man who turns out to be Mr Smithers as a deepthroat.
"Hi Mr Smithers!" Homer yells bubbling his horn. Bart and Lisa face palm.
"Tch! Well you may as well take me home now! Simpson!" Smithers is annoyed Homer ruined the secret meeting.
Bart and Lisa glared at Homer.
They are driving Smithers home.
"I don't usually go behind Mr Burns's back, but the Republican Party have a long policy of being against homosexuality. I'm err doing this for a friend..." Smithers is reluctant to admit his homosexuality. "Find Edgar Neubauer. When you do you'll find the others..."
"And?" Bart asked.
"That's all I'm willing to tell you." said Smithers.
Plot 4The next day they try to find the location of Edgar Neubauer. Eventually Bart finds the only Edgar Neubauer who lived in Springfield.
"Lisa! I found him! I found Edgar Neubauer!" Bart is standing by a grave in the Springfield Cemetery. The tombstone is labled Edgar Neubauer. 1600 to 1653.
Lisa gasps.
"Oh my god! The dead have risen from their graves and voted Republican!" Bart yells.
"Coooool!" Oscar thinks zombies voting Republican is cool. "Zombies!"
"No! Don't you see! The dead can't vote!" Lisa explains. (Oscar sighs sadly.) "Look Prudence Goodwife, Buddy Holly, Richie Valaris, No! The Big Bopper!" We see an eleborate grave for the Big Bopper.
"Awwww! I wanted another zombie outbreak... Let's steal that dark magic book from the school library again!" Oscar really wants to create a zombie plague.
"Look! He even used the names of dead animals! Mr and Mrs Bananas, Humphrey Boa-gart, Shnookums... No no no please not- (pained gasp) Snowball?! Not my poor, dead kitty! That's it Bob! Now it's personal!" Lisa vows revenge against Bob.
"Uh hey, he did try to kill me!" Bart whines.
"Wait there's more!" said Oscar, "nada nada nada... Don't know who's pet that is... that's Ralph's old hamster... Oh No!"
"Stampy!" Bart yelled. Seeing Stampy the elephant voted for Bob.
Stampy grumbled sadly.
"Bart don't blame him! Animals can't vote..." said Lisa.
"Lis, he's the symbol of the Republican Party! Stampy knew what he was doing! You bad creature! You!" said Oscar telling off Stampy. Stampy picked him op and stuffed him in his mouth. "Eeeeeugh! Get me outta here!"
"Okay, now it's personal!" Bart snapped.
...
Bart and Lisa take Bob to court.
"Bob you don't have to do this!" Birch Barlow explains.
"Oh it's alright let the kids have their day in court, before they return to their cold, motel mattresses..." Sideshow Bob glares at Bart and Lisa.
"Robert Underdunk Terwilliger, did you rig the election with the names of dead people and animals?" Lionel Hutz asks him.
"No. I did not." Sideshow Bob replies in a monotone voice.
Lionel Hutz shrugs his shoulders. "Kids, help!"
"Don't worry, Bart, I know how to trap him." Lisa explained. She cross examines Sideshow Bob and drinks his glass of water, "You know Bob. I have to admit you are a genius, some might say diabolical... But I know you couldn't have cooked up such a plan alone. You were merely a fall guy, puppet if you will for- Birch Barlow!" Lisa points out Birch Barlow in the stands. Everyone gasps and Birch is speechless.
"You were just Barlow's Lackey!" Bart yells.
"You were Nancy to his Ronnie!" Lisa adds.
"Sonny to his Cher!" Bart yells.
"Ringo to his rest of the Beatles!"
"Hey!" Yells Ringo.
"Lies! All lies!" Sideshow Bob snaps.
"Then tell us the truth!" Bart yells.
"The truth?! You can't handle the truth! Bah! No truth handler are you! I deride your truth handling abilities!" Sideshow Bob successfully quotes A Few Good Men.
"Bob just answer the the question..." Judge Roy Snyder sighs.
"I did it! I did it all!" Sideshow Bob yells as he passes out evidence. "Each a work of Machiavellian art!" Birch face palms.
"But why?!" Judge Snyder asks.
"Too protect you from yourselves! Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democrat. But deep down you secretly wish for a cold hearted Republican to rule you like a king!" Sideshow Bob finishes his rant. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a town to run..." Sideshow Bob goes to leave.
"Bailiff, place the mayor under arrest!" Judge Snyder orders Sideshow Bob's arrest, he is quickly apprehended.
"What? Ooooh... all that vote rigging stuff... Very well. But be warned Simpson children! I will have my revenge!"
"Take him away. Case dismissed!" Judge Snyder rules in Bart and Lisa's favor. Everyone cheers.
Outside of Court Bart and Lisa celebrate.
"And guess what! You get to go back to fourth grade!" Lisa cheers.
"Awww... Tomorrow we were going to find out who the dish ran away with..." Bart sighs.
"The spoon, Bart..." Lisa groans at his stupidity.
"Oooooh..." Bart realises as they have their photo taken for the Springfield newspaper.
...
The Newspaper however is being read by the Republican Party Headquarters members.
"Curses! Foiled by those Simpson brats!" Mr Burns snaps as he slams down the newspaper.
"Do you want to fire their father, Mr Homer Simpson?" Smithers asks.
"No, that would be too hasty and could alert them to us." Mr Burns replies. "For now we bide our time..."
Elsewhere Ace the vampire was at his mansion watering his orchids.
"Why orchids?" Ace asked the fourth wall rhetorically. "Look up the Genus..."
The Genus for orchids is Dracula! Mwuhahahaha!
The Simpsons were busy making repairs to the house from the damage caused by Sideshow Bob's wrecking balls.
The end?