Treehouse of Horror V The first episode of the sixth season in my fanon and the fifth Halloween special. The Simpsons stay at Mr Burns's winter estate as caretakers and Homer goes mad from the lack of beer and TV! Then Homer accidentally sends himself back to the dinosaur age with a time traveling toaster and has to find his way back to his own present. Finally Bart and Lisa find out the teachers are serving naughty pupils for lunch at the cafeteria!
OpeningMarge appears on stage in the theatre again.
She once again warns everyone not to watch this episode as it's too scary. She even says it's so scary that congress banned it and are instead showing an old western film. An old western film plays.
However the programme is hijacked by Bart talking through an oscilloscope.
"Do not adjust your set! We are in control now!" Bart says through the oscilloscope.
"What's that boy? We're in control?" Homer asks. He notices he can see his voice because of the oscilloscope. "Hey look! I can see my voice! Brrrrrrrbbbb! This is my voice! I am a robot!"
"Dad! You're ruining the mood!" Bart yells at him. "Now prepare yourself for the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror!"
Then opening titles begin. They are the usual pan through the graveyard with scary tombstones with silly names on them. In a lightning flash Moe drops down from a tree hung by his neck with a noose, his eyes open as he glares at us. Then Patty and Selma as witches are burnt at stake. Then Bart is stomping on a basket of heads near a guillotine with Skinner in it ready to be beheaded. Bart decapitates him.
The couch gag is the Simpsons as zombies with mismatched body parts. They swap body parts as they groan and sit down.
There's no in between story arc this time so we go straight to the first story.
Plot 1The Shinning
In a parody of the Shining the Simpsons are driving to Mr Burns's winter estate. They are to be his janitors.
The Simpsons are driving up a mountain road.
The Homer jump scares us and scares the shit out of us all referencing that zombie car commercial screamer prank.
"(Demented sounds) Ha! Scared ya!"
The Simpsons are driving up a mountain road. Scary music plays.
However Marge keeps reminding Homer if he's shut the front door, back door, put the cat out in that order. So they have to keep going home.
"Homer did you shut the front door?"
"D'oh!"
The next day.
"Okay we're here, again..." said Homer.
"When you shut the front door, did you shut the back?" Marge asked.
"D'oh! D'oh!"
The next day.
"Okay this time..." Homer sighed.
"Homer when you locked up did you put the cat out?" Marge asked.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted.
The next day.
"Wait! You're not made of Tuesday!" Oscar gasped.
Homer screamed.
Eventually a week later they successfully make the journey without forgetting something.
"But we forgot Grampa!" Lisa mentioned. However Homer continued driving. "What about Grampa?" They pull up at the grounds.
The Simpsons are cheerfully greeting Mr Burns as they get out of Homer's car.
Mr Burns shivered in disgust as he hates the Simpsons despite calling them to run errands...
Mr Burns asks Smithers if he's cut out the cable and that the castle is empty of any alcoholic beverages.
"Yes sir." Smithers replies.
"Excellent!"
...
Mr Burns then sees the Simpsons approach him. He then welcomes them in and shows them around. They pass a medieval weapons exhibit.
"This estate was built on an Indian burial ground. Was witness to several satanic rituals and the second coming of Cthulhu. And host to Conway Twitty shows..." said Mr Burns.
Homer shivers in disgust. "Conway Twitty... Eeeeeugh!"
Oscar was looking at the axes on the walls worried.
Then blood comes out of the elevator.
The Simpsons and Oscar are scared and freak out.
"That's odd, the blood doesn't usually come out at this floor." Mr Burns remarks.
Eventually it's time for him and Smithers to go.
"Sir, maybe the last few families that got murdered is a sign we shouldn't cut off the cable and deny them some sort of merriment..." Smithers asks.
"Tell you what. If we come back and the Simpsons are horribly murdered, I'll give you a quarter..." Mr Burns replied as they got in the car.
The Simpsons walked about the corridor from the shining.
"The carpet is making me dizzy..." Oscar doesn't like the carpet from The Shining...
"God, I'd give anything for a drink. I'd give my goddamned soul for just a glass of beer." Homer was thirsty.
Devil Ned appeared. "You again?! You already pledged your soul to Marge Simpson! Stop bothering me!" He vanished in a burst of Hellfire.
Homer giggled like a little girl.
They bumped into Jack Nicholson who creeped them out with his Joker/Jack Torrance grin.
The Simpsons and Oscar screamed.
"What the hell are you smiling at?!" Homer yelled at Jack Nicholson.
Meanwhile Mr Burns and Smithers went for a drive to the airport.
"I feel like a vacation to Bermuda." said Mr Burns. "Sun, sand... oh and you Smithers at my beck and call."
"It's a pleasure to work for you sir." said Smithers.
...
Homer looks in the fridge, there's no beer. "Hmmm, no beer. I'll see what's on TV." However the Tv is out. "TV's out, well I'll be damned..." Homer explained in a cheery tone.
"You seem to be taking this rather well." Marge commented.
Suddenly Homer snaps. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!" He screams. Everyone screams in fear.
"Homer!" Marge yells. Homer suddenly calms down.
"Oops sorry about that. I think I'll go for a walk." Homer explains as he goes out, "I'll be back later..." Homer says wickedly.
"Is Dad gonna kill us?" Lisa asks.
"We'll just have to wait and see..." Marge replies.
Oscar winced concerned.
...
Homer goes to a bar in the castle grounds. A hologram of Moe appears.
"Moe, give me a beer." Homer asks desperate.
"I can't Homer. Not unless you kill your family." Moe explained.
"Why?" Homer asks.
"Because they'll be happier as ghosts!" Moe makes an excuse.
"You don't look so happy..." Homer replies. Moe grabs him in a threatening manner.
"Oh I'm very happy. Lalalala, that's me happy. Now kill your family and you'll get a beer."
"Okay..." said Homer.
...
The rest of the family are outside in the grounds checking out the hedge maze.
For the sake of making this episode more like the film it was parodying. Oscar is playing the role of the little boy on the tricycle. Oscar as a five year old is riding his tricycle about.
Oscar is making car noises with his lips.
Groundskeeper Willie is outside the maze when Bart cuts a hole in the maze wall to get out.
"This is so much easier this way." Bart smirks. He's holding a smoking chainsaw that's still running.
"What the-!" Willie gasps. "Why you little-!" He's about to throttle Bart but stops. "Wait, his dad is that fat, bald fella who's got a murderous taste for the liquor! They say he's gonna kill them all, just like the others..." Willie thinks to himself.
"What's liquor?" Bart asks.
"Yeesh! You have the shinning!" Willie gasps. "You can read my mind!"
"Don't you mean the shining?" Bart asks.
"Shhh! Do you want to get sued?!" Willie warns. "Now, you use that 'shinning' of yours to call me if you're in danger. But not after nine! That's Willie's time!" Willie explained.
...
Meanwhile a crazy Homer is in the basement lobby typing at a typewriter madly while lightning flashes in the background to suit the mood.
...
That afternoon Oscar wants to ride his trike down the hall.
"Ok, but don't go to far..." Marge explained to the toddler as he pedalled off down the halls.
Oscar goes down some halls until his path is blocked by twin girls. The twins are Sherri and Terri.
"Play with us Oscar, play with us forever and ever..." They repeat eerily in unison. Oscar covers his eyes in fear, but when he uncovers them, the twins are gone.
...
Some time later Marge goes to find Homer as he hasn't returned yet. She finds the basement lobby and a typewriter on a table.
"Maybe this typewriter is a window into his madness..." Marge comments. However the typewriter just says "Feeling fine." Marge sighs with relief. "Well, that's a-" However lightning strikes outside reveal messages scrawled on the walls by Homer. They read, "No beer, no TV make Homer go crazy." Across the entire walls of the basement.
Suddenly Homer comes in scaring Marge.
"Well, Marge I was thinking of a title for my new novel... something along the lines of 'No Beer, no TV make Homer something something..." Homer forgets himself.
"Go crazy?" Marge replies.
"Don't mind if I do! (Crazy sounds and faces)" Homer makes crazy noises and chases after her.
Marge brandishes a baseball bat that was in a glass case labled. "Break glass in case of spousal insanity."
"Don't make me use this, Homer!" Marge warns.
"Give me the bat Marge. Give me the bat!" Homer makes more unhinged noises. "Hehehe! Scared ya! Bleeeeeeghhh!" Homer pulls an ugly face and looks in the mirror. He screams and falls down the stairs knocking himself out.
...
Marge drags Homer into the pantry vault and locks him in.
"You stay here until you're no longer crazy! Ooooh, paprika!" Marge said as she threw him in the vault and took some paprika.
Sometime later Homer regains consciousness and is eating the contents of the vault.
"Um, Homer... Me and the monsters are little concerned by the progress of you killing your family..." Moe asks from outside the vault.
"Can't murder, eating." Homer replied.
"Oh for crying out loud!" Moe yells. The monsters and famous horror movie murderers like Freddy Krueger break in and drag Homer out.
"Noooooooooo!" Homer screams.
...
Homer then starts chopping down doors with a big axe. Like in the movie Shining.
"Here's Johnny!" Homer declares with a crazed look. However the room is empty. "D'oh!"
"David Lettermaaaaan!" Homer tries another door. However his Dad, Abe/Grampa is in that room.
"Hi David, I'm Grampa!" Abe replies.
"D'oh!" Homer tries one more door, cos three's the charm. "I'm Mike Wallace! I'm Morley Safer! And I'm Ed Bradley! (Holding a stopwatch) All this and Andy Rooney, tonight on '60 minutes'!" Homer leers evilly at his family who scream in terror as he smashes down the door.
They run through the mansion chased by him.
They lose Oscar because he ran another way.
"We lost Oscar!" said Lisa.
"So?" said Bart.
Oscar is in one of the corridors from the shining with that lovely carpet. He has his back to a door.
"Knock knock." said a deep monster voice.
"Who's there?" Oscar asked as the kindergartener/toddler shivered in fear.
"Zuul Mother fucker!" The monster yelled and grabbed him yanking him into the room.
"I'll use my shinning to call Willie for help!" Bart explained. He telepathically communicates with Willie.
Willie hears his thought signal. "The wee lad and his family are in trouble!" Willie yells. He runs out into the snow towards the mansion.
He bursts in through the front doors. "Alright ye land whale! Give me your best shot!" Willie brags. However Homer sticks an axe in his back with a single blow. "Ye call that you're best?!" Willie then dies.
"Oh lord!" Marge gasps. The Simpsons then run outside into the snow, however it quickly gets too deep for them as they drag themselves through the knee deep snow.
"Dad! Look!" Bart finds a working handheld TV.
"TV! Nurse, mother, secret lover..." Homer relaxes as he takes the TV and sits down in the snow. "Urge to kill fading... fading... Rising! (Marge and the kids flinch)... fading... gone."
Marge and the kids relax.
"Come children, lets all bask in front of the warmth of the TV." Homer says in a serene voice. They sit down with him.
However, they are soon frozen together by the cold. And to make things worse, The Tony Awards comes on! Aaaaaaagh!
"Dad! Change the channel!" Bart yells.
"I can't! We're frozen solid!" Homer replies. They all scream at the horrid programme. "Urge to kill rising..." Homer says ominously...
Plot 2Time and Punishment
The Simpsons are having breakfast one day while Homer reminisces about the last episode of the Treehouse of Horror.
"You know, Marge, I've had my share of troubles. But sitting here now with you and the kids... in our cozy home in this beautiful, free country... it just makes me feel that I'm really a lucky guy." said Homer.
"You tried to murder us while acting like Jack Nicholson..." Oscar frowned at him.
"Quiet boy!" Homer snarled.
"Never!" said Oscar defiantly.
"Dad! You hand is stuck in the toaster!" Lisa yells.
"Huh?" Homer asked.
"Dad!" Bart yelled.
Homer sees that his hand is jammed inside the toaster which is sparkling. He screams and all hell breaks loose as he runs around the kitchen yelling and trying to get it off.
Homer is screaming as everyone yells and he is smacking the toaster about trying to dislodge his hand from it.
Oscar laughs hysterically.
"Oz how is this funny?!" Bart groaned. He cracked up. "Okay maybe it's a little bit funny..."
Everyone else is yelling in panic.
"Get it off! Get it off of meeee!" He eventually does and slumps in front of the fridge.
"Dad! It's in there again!" Bart yells. Homer starts screaming again as he runs around the kitchen swinging the toaster about.
"Let go! Let gooooo!" Homer screams.
Eventually he got the toaster off of his hand.
"That was funny..." Oscar chuckled.
...
That afternoon Homer takes the broken toaster to the basement and dismantles it to fix it. "This will need a delicate touch." He smacks it hard with a rock and the casing falls off.
He fixes it with bulbs and circuitry. He decides to try out the enhanced toaster with a slice of bread.
"Time for a test toast." He puts bread in the toaster to make toast.
However he is transported through time...
In the time vortex. "Wow! I'm the first non Brazilian to travel through time!" Homer exclaims.
"Uh, no. You're the second." Said Mr Peabody.
"That's right, Mr Peabody!" adds Sherman.
"Quiet you!" Mr Peabody tells him to be quiet.
Homer then arrives in a jungle. He soon finds out he is in the age of the dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are walking about as dramatic music plays.
"Wow! I've returned to a time when dinosaurs weren't just kept on an island with Richard Attenborough!" Homer gasps. "Wait! Remember what Dad told you on your wedding day..." Homer thinks of his Dad.
"Remember Homer, if you should somehow go back in time, don't touch anything! Even the tiniest bug could change the course of history in all sorts of ways!" said Abe in his thoughts.
In the background is Ray Bradbury and the characters from A Sound of Thunder.
However Homer's thoughts are interrupted by a mosquito.
"Fine. As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything... I won't destroy the future." said Homer.
The mosquito is bothering him.
"Stupid bug!" You go squish now!" Homer kills the mosquito.
"Oh no! But that's just one little bug... That's not going to change anything... is it?" Homer asks out loud.
A giant ground sloth walks past and shrugs his shoulders and grunts. Homer then is returned to the future.
...
Homer returns home. He goes upstairs to the kitchen.
"Oh, my loving family!" Homer declares warmly. However the floor suddenly morphs into a TV screen like something from Time Bandits. Ned appears on the TV.
"Well, hi diddly ho, neighborinos!" says Ned.
"Hi diddly ho, Ned!" The family except Homer reply.
"Why is that geek, Flanders on that screen?" Homer asks.
"Where've you been, Dad! Flanders is the supreme ruler of the world now!" Bart explains.
"D'oh" Homer groaned.
A siren then goes off.
"Oh dear! Looks like we've got a rogue in sector 3! I'm going to have to transport the whole family for re-neducation!" Ned explains as the house turns into a hover vehicle and drives off somewhere.
Actually he called the rogue element, Homer's attitude. A negative Nelly.
Oscar laughed.
"Negative Nelly..." he chuckled.
"Quiet!" Homer barked.
While the house is being transported. Oscar is watching a very strange thing on TV.
"I like crackers and snacks! Crackers and snacks! Crackers and snacks! I like crackers and snacks!" sang a weird CGI character.
"Uh... Oz what are you watching?" Bart grimaced baffled.
"I dunno but it's funny! Crackers and snacks!"
...
The entire town have been taken to a facility run by Ned who talks to them on a big screen.
"Ok, lets see some friendly smiles!" Robot claws grab their cheeks and force them to smile.
"Uffff!" Oscar whined as he was forced to smile.
"What the hell are you smiling at?" Homer says to another man. Ned has also somehow made everyone wear Ned Flanders sweaters.
Afterwards everyone has been taken to a waiting room with another giant screen with Ned on it.
"Oh...!" Homer groaned.
"Now if all that smiling didn't work. I recommend a glass of milk, a lie down, and a frontal lobotomy!" Ned explains.
Homer meets Moe who has had the lobotomy.
"It's not so bad, Homer. They cut out part of your brain, pull it out through your nose, and let you keep it in a jar! Heeeelloooo! Look, who's that funny man! Who's that?" Moe talks in a trance to his bit of brain in a jar.
Marge and the kids have also been lobotomised.
"Hello father..." said Bart lobotomised.
"2 plus 2 is five!" said Oscar lobotomised as he referenced 1984.
"Join uuuuus... it's blissssss..." Marge drools.
Homer screams and runs away. However Ned releases the hounds on him.
"Oh no! Stupid Flanders has hounds now?! These sausages will give me the quick energy I need!" Homer eats a string of sausages and runs away successfully.
He goes inside his house and takes off his Ned Flanders sweater and goes back in time.
"Time to fix this!" said Homer.
...
Homer arrives in the past. "Ok, Homer, this time I shan't touch anything!" Homer says to himself.
However a Tyrannosaurus appears and roars at him.
Homer screams.
Homer runs away trying not to step on anything.
"Mustn't touch! Mustn't touch! Mustn't touch!" However he sits on an evolving fish killing it. "Oh...! I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish..." He gets zapped back to the future again.
Zap!
Homer is back home. He goes upstairs to find the house completely empty. "Where is everyone?" he asks. Suddenly a giant eye appears at the window and the roof is ripped off. Homer looks up to see a giant Bart and Lisa.
"Look! A bug that looks like Dad!" Bart says to Lisa.
"Let's squish it!" Lisa declares as they try to squash Homer, however he screams and runs back downstairs into the basement. He goes back to the past.
Zap!
Oscar was transported with him for some reason.
"Um okay..." said Homer.
Homer encounters the Tyrannosaurus again but sneezes on it.
The dinosaur gets a cold and spreads it to all the others who die one by one. Also a Pteranodon falls out of the sky...
"This is gonna cost me..." Homer says as he returns home.
...
Homer arrives to find he now lives in an expensive and fancy looking house. His family are polite to him, including Bart. They have a new Lexus and the best news of all, Patty and Selma are dead.
"D'oh! I mean hello family."
"Hello father." Bart politely hands him the newspaper.
"Oooooh!" Homer likes this universe.
"Father are we taking the Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral?" Lisa asked.
"They're dead?!" Homer is joyful.
"Yes father." said Lisa.
"Hmmmmm... polite kids. Sisters in law dead. A new car... Woohoo! I hit the jackpot!" Homer cheered.
He sat down.
"Marge, dear, please kindly pass me a donut." Homer asks.
"Donut?! What's a donut?" Marge asks.
Homer screams madly and runs back downstairs. There is a vworp sound of him time traveling again. Basically the lack of donuts in this universe was too much.
Suddenly thunder and lightning strikes and it starts raining donuts.
"Oooooh, it's raining again..." Marge sighs.
...
Homer arrives back from another trip to the past. He goes upstairs to find Willie in his kitchen.
"You're still not in you're own world yet, Homer!" Willie explained. "I can help you, but you've got to do exactly what IAaaaaaaaaaagh!" However he is axed in the back by Maggie.
Maggie takes out her pacifier and speaks like Darth Vader. "This is indeed a disturbing universe!"
Homer screams and returns to the past.
...
Homer grabs a club and goes on a killing spree in the past. "Don't touch anything?! I'll touch what I like! Raaaaaagh!" Homer kills as many creatures as possible before being transported back home. A giant mosquito attacks him as he leaves.
His changes to the past change the house rapidly. We see, a futuristic house, a Flintstone's house, a house underwater, a Bart Sphinx in a desert, Lavos...
Meanwhile on Kang and Kodos's ship.
"Foolish earthling! Totally unaware of the effects of time travel!" The aliens laugh. However there's a vworp and they are turned into Mr Peabody and Sherman.
"What's happened to us, Mr Peabody?" Sherman asks as he looks at his new tentacles.
"Quiet you." Mr Peabody replies.
...
Homer arrives in the underwater universe. The Simpsons are all sea monkeys.
The sea monkey couch gag is happening without him.
"D'oh!" said Homer.
One short time hop later.
Homer arrives in a universe where the Martians are invading in huge tripods. Because we referenced Bradbury and George Orwell. Now we're referencing H.G Wells.
Homer screamed as the Martian tripods fires lasers.
"Eat the beautiful people." said a Morlock.
"Out of my way loser!" Homer rudely barged past the Morlock and ran inside. A flash inside the house meant he left this universe.
Homer eventually arrives back in the present. He finds the house and his family seemingly normal. But has to ask just to be sure.
"What's my name?! What color is the sky?! What of donuts?! Whaaaaaat?!" Homer asks rapidly.
However Marge answers the questions correctly. "What's wrong Homer?" Marge asks.
"Nothing dear. Let's all enjoy our breakfast. They sit down to eat. However in this universe everyone eats with frog tongues.
"Eh... close enough..." Homer sighs as he tucks into his breakfast.
Plot 3Nightmare Cafeteria
At School Bart decides to prank the teacher by turning everyone's desks backwards.
"Hey everyone! Let's trick Mrs Krabappel by turning all our desks backwards!" said Bart.
However no one joins in so he's the odd one out.
"Ok, backwards boy, off to detention..." Mrs Krabappel sends him to the detention room.
Bart goes to the detention room but it's full to the point kids are squished up against the door.
"Over here, Bart. The detention room is dangerously overcrowded." Skinner explains.
"I'm sorry...!" A kid says weakly from the detention room.
"Well you should have thought about that before you threw that paper plane!" Skinner tells the boy off. "Bart, you'll be spending your detention in the cafeteria.
In the kitchens meanwhile Lunch Lady Doris was preparing a stew of Grade F meat from a barrel labelled Grade F meat. Contains all sorted bits of circus animals and some filler. Ie clown meat!
The squeaky voiced teen tasted the stew. "Mom, does this taste funny to you?"
"Shaddup..." Doris sighed not finding the joke funny. The filler is clown meat!
Bart is soon joined by a few others, including Jimbo Jones.
"What on Earth is going on? It's like an explosion of bad behavior!" Principal Skinner asks Lunch lady Doris.
"I don't know, I've got to get this grade F meat stew to the kitchen." Doris replied.
"Psst! Watch me trip Lunch Lady Doris!" Jimbo is planning a prank on the lunch lady. He trips her over but her stew splashes on him. "My shirt!" Jimbo yells.
Principal Skinner tells him off, but finds the stew delectable. "Why you-! Wait. Hmmmm. Mmmm!" He has an idea. "Jimbo, why don't you go to the kitchen and help out Lunch Lady Doris..."
"Bite me, Skinner!" Jimbo replies rudely.
"Yes, bite me..." Skinner replies to himself.
...
Meanwhile in the kitchens.
"It's hard to to clean these dishes when you're splashing meat tenderizer on me!" Jimbo groans. There's a loud clunk! "Oh great, now I have to work in the dark!
Scary music plays to signify something horrible has happened to Jimbo.
Elsewhere at Mr Burns's Shining mansion some caretakers and Oscar arrive to clean the chandlers.
"Ah Smithers. The Sea Monkeys I've ordered have arrived! Look at them cavort and caper." said Mr Burns.
"Yaaaaaaaay! I'm a sea monkey!" Oscar cheered.
"Um no sir, that's some more caretakers who'll probably end up killing each other over you depriving them of alcohol and TV." said Smithers.
Mr Burns sighed.
Oscar kept offering him a porcelain cat that plays How Much Is That Doggy In The Window.
"That's ridiculous! That's a cat!" said Mr Burns.
"Yes I know." Oscar chuckled.
"Come on Smithers. I do not wish to be late!" said Mr Burns leaving with Smithers.
Elsewhere there was Teleporting Café that acted like a TARDIS!
"I'm sure that exact café was in Louisiana yesterday..." said Krusty.
Back at the mansion.
"Watch yourself Abe." said Oscar.
"I'm fine." said Abe.
"Yeah but it's your hernia I'm worried about." said Oscar.
"It's just plain weird isn't it. A cat that plays How Much Is That Doggy In The Window..." said Inane Brian.
"Yeah, I suppose it should play What's New Pussycat by Tom Jones." said Oscar.
"I can sing that!" said Abe.
"No!" Oscar and Brian yelled.
...
In the staff room, Skinner serves some hamburgers, which I assume he calls Steamed Hams.
"No they're called Sloppy Jimbos." Skinner replied dryly as he entered the staff room.
"Mmmm! This burger tastes so young and impudent!" Mrs Krabappel comments on the burger. "Where did you get the recipe?"
"Well, you remember when I said I'd make something of Jimbo Jones one day..." Skinner explained.
"No. Are you saying you killed a student, grinded him up and served his remains to us as burgers?!" Mrs Krabappel gasps. Skinner taps his nose.
"Ha!" Mrs Krabappel doesn't seem to care.
In the school halls students notice Jimbo is missing. They don't know the teachers have eaten him yet..
"Bart! It's awful! Jimbo has disappeared!" Quiffy, Oscar's toon wearing a red Hawaiian shirt with yellow palm trees on it cried.
"And that's awful, how?" Bart asked as Jimbo constantly bullied him.
Oscar arrived.
"Hey Oz." said Bart.
"A census taker tested me, so I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice carton of Um Bongo. Ftftftftsss..." Oscar quoted Hannibal Lecter.
"Uh... never mind..." Bart winced.
Dolph and Kearney were frisking kids for lunch money.
"Where's Jimbo? I'm not saving his share of the stolen lunch money if he doesn't turn up today." said Dolph.
"You think he's sick?" asked Kearney.
"Bullies don't think, ya moron..." said Dolph.
Everyone got lunch completely unaware of what horrible fate befell Jimbo.
...
At lunch the next day, Bart and his friends are getting lunch. Today is sloppy Jimbos. (They're serving Jimbo for lunch...)
"Where's Jimbo? He should have beaten us up and taken our lunch money an hour ago." Bart wonders, concerned.
Milhouse shrugged.
Uter cuts in line and asks lunch Lady Doris for another sloppy Jimbo. "May I have another Sloppy Jimbo?"
"Das ist gut, ja?" He asks Bart.
"Oh Jimbo will turn up soon." said Skinner.
However Skinner sees that Uter cut in line and makes an example of him.
"That's your third helping, young man! It's making you plump, fat and tender..." Skinner licks his lips. 'You just cut in line, didn't you? Off to detention with you!"
"Für how long?" Uter asks.
"Ooooh, about seven minutes a pound should do it..." Skinner replies.
Bart was concerned. He is being made into Soylent Green...
Eventually he got his Sloppy Jimbo and sat down. Not knowing it was made from Jimbo he ate it.
...
The following day, the school suddenly is celebrating Oktoberfest. And serving German food.
"I don't get it, Bart. Uter doesn't turn up today and suddenly the school is celebrating Oktoberfest and serving us this food called Uter-brotten..." Lisa is confused and suspicious by the sudden enthusiasm for all things German.
"Who cares. Look at all the sausages!" said Oscar.
"In German they're wurst." said Martin.
"Stop educating us! It's lunch time!" Oscar snapped.
"I'm worried Bart! What happened to poor Üter?!" Lisa stammered.
Skinner appears wearing Liederhosen. "Oh, I'm sure Uter will turn up somewhere. After all isn't there a little Uter in all of us? (Chuckles) You might say we've just ate Uter, and his in our stomachs! (Chuckles) No wait, ignore what I just said..."
...
Bart and Lisa run home after school to warn their parents.
"Mom! Dad! They're killing and serving kids for lunch in the cafeteria!" Lisa cries.
"Kids. You're eight and ten. I can't fight all your battles!" Marge doesn't seem to care.
"But mom!" Bart whines.
"But nothing! You march right to that school, look the teachers in the eye and say "Don't eat me!"" Marge replies.
"Okay..." Bart and Lisa sigh.
At lunch the next day, the main dish was Teriyaki steak with Sherri sauce.
"You don't think..." Bart was scared.
"Yes Bart, they killed Sherri and Terri too." Lisa explained dryly.
...
Eventually the fourth grade class is whittled down to just three students and what's left of second grade, Lisa Simpson. Joins them.
A very fat Mrs Krabappel is teaching them. However she keeps hiccuping.
Wendel accidentally drops his pencil.
"Ahem! Detention!" Mrs Krabappel send him to detention (and possibly his death). Wendell looks around before going.
Mrs Krabappel is then reading "Joy of cooking Milhouse." This spooks Milhouse who suggests that Bart and Lisa sneak out of class with him. They agree and manage too.
...
Meanwhile Skinner is observing the students in detention. They're all in tiny rabbit cages including Martin somehow. Martin starts shaking with fear and is a nervous wreck.
"Stop that shaking! You'll only make yourself tough and stringy!" Skinner whacks his cage with a ruler. "I wonder how the free range students are doing..." Outside some kids are in a fenced off field roaming about in a circle.
...
Suddenly a crazed Lunch Lady Doris ambushes Bart, Lisa and Milhouse. She's wielding an electric whisk and her apron is covered in blood. The now rabid lunch lady chases them until Willie comes to the rescue.
"Don't worry wee bairns! I'll save the lot of y-Aaaaaaagh!" He gets axed in the back by Principal Skinner. "Oh, I'm bad at this..." he groans before dying.
The rest of the teachers converge on Bart, Lisa and Milhouse. They're completely rabid.
"Ah, Bart Simpson... I believe I'll start with how you so often suggest. By eating your shorts..." Skinner puts on a warning, children crossing sign bib. Everything seems dire until one by one the teachers are shot dead by a very powerful shotgun.
As Skinner falls, their savior is Oscar dressed as the terminator.
"Oscar! You saved us!" Lisa cried with joy.
"Now to rescue any surviving students." Oscar suggests.
"Detention room is down the hall on the left." Bart explains.
...
However Bart wakes up screaming. It was all a dream.
"It's alright dear... you were just having a nightmare." Marge comforts him.
"Yeah, nothing can harm you now." Homer explains.
"Except for that fog that turns people inside out..." Marge mutters.
"Uh?" Bart asks, finding such a thing stupid.
The fog gets in through the window. "Oh no! Stupid single glazing!" Homer gasps. They then scream horribly as they are literally turned inside out... Yeeeeuck!
The inside out Simpsons then find themselves on stage and start performing a cheesy musical number with barbershop hats and canes while splashing blood everywhere.
"One. Chorus line of people! Dancing till they make us stop!" The Simpsons sung.
Inside out Willie joined in. "Two! Too many people. Covered blood, gore and glop!"
At one point Willie joins in. Then Santa's little helper starts sniffing Bart. As the song closes Santa's little helper tackles Bart too the floor and mauls him before ripping out his guts and dragging him off stage leaving a bloody trail.
The end.
However this was a dream and the cannibal teachers story was reality as Bart wakes up in the detention room while Oscar and the others are breaking out the surviving students.
"What happened?" Bart asked.
"You fainted just before Oscar rescued us."
"Oh. I had the craziest dream we were turned inside out by a green fog and started doing a musical number!"
"Well, I wouldn't expect any less on Halloween. Happy Halloween everybody!" Oscar replies before everyone wishes the fourth wall a happy Halloween.
Deleted scenes! In The Shinning/Shining Bart is skateboarding down the halls of the mansion when monsters and horror movie characters peep out of the doors of the hall behind him. (They are Dracula, The Wolfman, The Gill man, The invisible man/Griffin, Freddy Krueger and Pinhead from Hellraiser)Bart goes "Uh?" And looks round to see nothing unusual as the doors quickly close. He turns back round to see Sherri and Terri as the creepy twins.
"Your daddy's gonna kill you! Your daddy's gonna kill you!" They sing.
Bart turns around to find his aunts Patty and Selma.
"Hey there Bart. Your mom invited us." said Selma.
"Don't worry. Your father couldn't murder a bowl of cereal! Ahahahaha!" said Patty.
Bart screamed.
Again in the Shining. Oscar is going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He reads a message daubed on the bathroom wall. "Redrum""Redrum? What kind of backwards nonsense is that?!
However he brushes his teeth and sees in the mirror backwards it spells "Murder" He screams loudly.
In Time and Punishment as Homer is rapidly screwing with time."Hahahaha! Foolish Earthling! Powerless against the forces of time! Does he really think someone so insignificant can control time?!' said Kang laughing.
Suddenly a giant boxing glove on an extendable hinged thing flew out of Earth and punched Kang's ship blowing it up.
"Was it something I said?" Kang could be heard.