Love Potion Marge and Homer are having problems with their sex life so Grampa creates a love potion for them from random chemicals and medicines in his bathroom cabinet. However it works too well and married couples lock themselves away for endless sex... yuck!
Meanwhile Bart and Milhouse start fighting each other over a toy and later when the grown ups are locking themselves away over what could be causing this bizarre behaviour. Bart thinks it's aliens having taken out a library book on aliens, Milhouse thinks it's reverse vampires.
PlotChalkboard gag: I will not prank-call 911 emergency services.
Marge and Homer are getting it on. Yuck! When all of a sudden Maggie cries. Marge sighs and goes to see to Maggie.
When she gets back Homer has fallen asleep.
Marge sighs as she was in a kinky mood.
Homer snores.
The next day they go to the library. Marge and Homer are in the adult section looking for erotic books... Yuck!
Homer finds the Karma Sutra. "Hey look! It's Apu!" Homer laughs as he reads the book.
"Sshh! We don't want the kids to know we're looking for those kind of books!" Marge hushes him.
The kids arrive with books. Homer and Marge quickly pick out random books to look inconspicuous.
"So what did you guys get?" Bart asks.
"Oh just reading War and Peace." said Marge.
"And I'm reading Great American- Agggggghhhh!" Homer screamed as he realised he was reading a book titled Great American Asses with illustrations... Yuck!
Oscar laughed.
"Well I'm reading Al Gore's latest biography." said Lisa. Some stuff about looking after environment unfortunately nothing about ManBearPig... "Sane planning, Sensible Tomorrow."
"ManBearPig!" Oscar rasped being demented.
"Oz no! Al doesn't act like that in Springfield..." Bart sighed.
"Well I'm reading this book on UFOs." Bart replied. "They say there's some government conspiracy that they're reading our minds via TV!"
"Bart that's stupid!" Lisa groaned.
Everyone got their books scanned to take them out. However a signal went to Al Gore's clerks who told Al Gore someone is borrowing his book to read.
"Well, this calls for a celebration." said Al Gore in monotone. He puts on a radio that plays "Celebration". "I will." Yeah this portrayal of him sucks. I like silly Al Gore from South Park better. Don't worry he gets super cereal later.
...
That night Marge and Homer listen to a love advice tape in bed.
However lots of stuff gets in the way of their love making...
First off Bart gets freaked out by a parasol stuck in the trees again.
"Mom! There'saUFOoutsidemywindoe! Ay Carumba! You're naked!"
"Bart! Homer yelled as Marge covered herself up.
Bart's room.
"Bart that's just a parasol stuck in the tree again. Why does that keep happening..."
There was a parasol spinning about in the tree.
The next night Homer had a stomach ache from eating too much chilli.
"Ooooooooh! That chilli..."
Marge sighed.
In the afternoon they listen to Paul Harvey on tape again.
The tape advises them to go on a romantic holiday away.
The next morning Homer and Marge leave the kids under Grampa's care.
They go to a romantic hotel with different themed rooms.
However all the rooms are taken except the Utility room. Which is actually the utility room.
"Errr um, the toilet in the Stone Age room is flooded!" said Mayor Quimby to the desk clerk. Quimby was wearing a cave man fur vest.
"Oh! The utility room!" Homer sounded excited. However it was just an actual utility room. Dark and noisy with an air conditioner and two green canvas beds,
"Homer, I think it's actually the utility room." Marge explained.
"No it's for our imagination! Think of it. I'm the janitor... and your the janitor's wife! And you have to live with me at my place of work!" Homer explained holding a mop.
They then laid on the canvas beds and stared up at the cealing. Raphael then came in.
"Oops sorry folks. Just getting the ol hoover out."
...
Bart was over at Milhouses. He wanted to play with his cup and ball.
Milhouse is playing with his cup and ball or ball in a cup.
"Can I play?" Bart asked.
"No that's mine!" Milhouse took it from him.
"Let me play you cup and ball hog!" Bart yelled. They then started fighting violently. Music played.
"Milhouse did- Oh heavens!" Luanne gasped.
"Let go! Nnnnnnngh!" The kids were fighting.
Milhouse was strangling Bart.
(Bart wheezing.)
Bart needed something to stun him. He passes over a bottle, a brick and finally grabs Milhouse's magic eight ball and smashes it on his head stunning him.
"My magic eight ball!" Milhouse cried.
Bart was then thrown out for fighting.
At the Simpsons Oscar was unlocking the attic hatch.
"Oz. Dad said not to go up there." said Lisa.
Oscar ignored her. He got the hatch open and the ladder unfolded.
Hugo groaned.
Lisa is scared.
"He won't bite..." said Oscar going up to the attic.
"I will bite Oz..." said Hugo.
"Hugh I've told you about biting..." Oscar replied.
Lisa sighed and went downstairs to read her Al Gore book.
Grampa was fast asleep and Maggie had a kitchen knife because no one was supervising her!
...
Marge and Homer were annoyed with the tape as they drove about, still not in a romantic mood.
"By now, your new improved love life should have you flinging woo... like nobody's business." Shut up Paul Harvey...
Eventually they threw out the tape and ran it over. Oh dear, the librarian is not gonna be happy...
They then went into the country to find somewhere romantic. However the car got stuck in the mud of a muddy country road.
"Ooooooooh! You accelerate and I'll push." said Homer groaning,
Homer got sprayed with mud trying to push it free while Marge worked the ignition. Cos that always happens when someone tries to get their car out of the mud...
Eventually they decided to seek shelter because it was raining. There was a farm nearby.
"Ooooooooh!" Homer had an idea.
They went in the barn.
The barn gave them kinky ideas so they took off all their clothes and made love. Yuck!
However the farmer heard noises and went to check.
"Hey is some varmint bothering my cows?"
He was a scary farmer so Marge and Homer hid from him. However he used the pitch fork to poke around for intruders.
"Come on! I know you're in here!"
Luckily the straw was too thick and he didn't find anyone. He left.
Marge and Homer sighed and started making out again. However an eye was watching then. That eye belonged to a cow, because cows are weird in this universe.
The cow mooed. Stupid perverted cow...
Grampa is boring the kids with his stupid stories so they go off and play when he goes to sleep mid story.
Bart decided to read his UFO conspiracy book.
"Did you know they're real? But there's a conspiracy to cover it up." said Bart.
"Oh, that's just a paranoid fantasy." Lisa sighed.
"Oh Barty Bart's probably still scared of that UFO parasol from the other night..." said Oscar snarking.
Lisa giggled. "Yeah probably..."
Bart frowned and read his conspiracy theories book.
...
Mom and Dad eventually got home.
"Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail." said Grampa.
"Um thanks Dad..." said Homer.
Oscar winced.
"Why did you cover for me? I broke the lamps because I like being a brat. And I let Hugo out again." said Oscar to Grampa.
Homer and Marge were horny still. So they got showered and changed and went to the mini golf park. Apparently this was where they conceived Bart. Yuck!
They go inside and hide in the windmill which is a decoration for one of the holes. They get naked again and make love.
However the park soon opens for customers. The Flanders hit their ball into the windmill.
"Oh dear. Better get it Rod!" said Ned.
Rod reaches to get his ball.
Marge gasps when she sees his hand. "Homer! A hand!"
Something hits Rod's hand. "Ow! Daddy there's something in there!"
"Now don't be silly Rod. Why would- Hold on there is something in there!" said Ned as felt Homer's butt.
Everyone else put their hands in the windmill's hole.
Homer cringed as they felt his butt.
"Feels like a bag of meat!" said Edna Krabappel. Then she realised what it could be. "Maybe it's a bear!" Everyone suddenly backed away.
"I'll get the petroleum. We'll burn it down and roast the bear alive." said the park keeper. Suddenly Homer knocked the windmill over and the naked couple ran away.
"I saw Mr Simpson's shame!" cried Todd as his parents covered his eyes.
"Oh!" Maude is disgusted.
Elsewhere Oscar visits Vice President Al Gore to make him less boring.
"Stop being boring!" Oscar zapped him with magic which caused him to act like South Park Al Gore.
"I'm super cereal! ManBearPig is real!" said Al Gore.
Oscar chuckled.
...
Marge and Homer ran into a quiet neighbourhood. They hid behind lawn decorations that conviniently hid their privates.
"Marge can we swap? I don't trust these guys!" said Homer as two lumberjack gnomes were cutting a log hiding his dignity.
"Hmmmmm! This is so embarrassing! What if someone sees us!" Marge groaned.
Mrs. Vanderbilt is a wealthy dowager screamed at seeing them naked and fainted.
Her husband gasped and dropped his monocle. "I say!"
Marge sighed.
Homer was looking for somewhere to hide. "Hello..." He saw a hot air balloon un attended at a car sales lot.
They ran and hid in the balloon and untied it. They went flying away up high.
However Gil ran out. "Oh dear! Gil's been living in that! My stuff is in there!" Gil whined.
Marge found the trip in the hot air balloon scary, however Homer found it romantic. But suddenly he fell out so Marge had to grab him to pull him back in.
Suddenly there was a church with a glass roof.
"Now let us look out of our wonderful glass roof at God's wonderful world!" said the priest/vicar. However Homer's naked butt rubbed against the roof with a squeaking noise. Yuck! Everyone gasped.
"Look at the floor! All eyes on God's wonderful floor!" The vicar made everyone look at the floor until Homer passed.
The hot air balloon then headed towards a baseball field where it descended into the stadium. Everyone gasped as Homer and Marge tumbled out naked.
"A naked man and woman have descended onto the field!" said the commentator.
"Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer!" Homer said sarcastically. Unfortunately everyone did. "D'oh!"
Plot 2The next day Marge found the kids reading the newspaper. It had a picture of her and Homer at the baseball game naked!
"Ay carumba!" said Bart.
"Oh my!" said Lisa.
Oscar moaned pervertedly.
Bart grimaced at him.
Marge took the newspaper from them.
"Hey!" said Bart.
"Kid's listen up. Sometimes when you're older and in love you do crazy things." Marge explained.
"Like run around town naked?" Bart asked.
"That's not crazy! I do that every Thursday after school!" Oscar replied.
Bart winced. "You are a disturbing individual Oz..."
"Your folks are just acting nuts because Homer can't get it on in the bedroom no more!" Grampa explained.
"Abe! Not in front of the kids!" Marge yelled.
"What?! What's wrong with talking about sex? Everyone's had sex! I had sex...!" Abraham replied.
Marge facepalmed and Homer growled.
"Seeeeeeeeex..." said Oscar.
Marge sighed annoyed at Oscar.
"Well what is it then? Protein deficiency?" asked Abe.
"No." said Homer.
"Pneumonoultramicroscopic- silicovolcanoconiosis?" Lol!
"No." Homer didn't know what that was.
"Hey who's the dork saying big words?!" Nelson suddenly bursted in trying to find the geek using big words.
"Well it's about sex then." said Abe.
Homer growled.
...
Homer drove his dad home to the old people's home.
"There you go, goodbye, see you next week..." Homer said wearily before leaving Abe in his room.
"Whatchamacalli-" Abe spoke in fast gibberish annoyed at Homer for rudely dumping him back home without so much as a friendly word. "Look, I have a solution to your love life problem in the sack..."
Abe went to the bathroom and started mixing various liquors and medicines into the sink. "My grampappy discovered this when trying to create a cheap substitute for holy water..." Abe explained.
However when he went to give Homer the elixir he was gone.
"What the?"
"Here you go you ungrateful son!" Abe threw the bottle at Homer, he caught it and wondered what to do with it. "It's an elixir! Drink it!" Homer tried some of the concoction and felt a buzz. He joyfully drove home.
The kids were watching TV when Homer pulled out the plug switching it off.
"Hey!" yelled the kids. Homer gave them money.
"Kallae kistnae..." Oscar rasped in gibberish upon receiving money. He still wanted it but he was watching cartoons.
"Go see a movie or something, don't come back for a few hours I love you bye bye!" He said quickly pushing them out into the hall.
"Homer why did-" Marge asked but Homer swept her off her feet romantically.
"No words Honey..." He took her upstairs. Yuck!
Marge giggled.
Outside.
"What was that all about?" Bart asked Lisa who was carrying Maggie.
"I don't know but we need to buy some diapers for Maggie..." Lisa sighed.
Ralph ran past fleeing from a butterfly. Yes a butterfly...
"Aaaaaagh!"
Bart winced.
...
One afternoon Homer was at the old people's home with Abe making more love potion.
"Oh! We're gonna be rich! Richer than kings!" Homer was excited.
"Quit spilling that!" Abe explained.
They went to the mall to sell the elixir. Unfortunately Homer was too forward with customers and too straight to the point so every time he asked if they needed help pleasuring their wife he would get punched in the face.
"You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife. So.."
Thump!
"Ow!" Homer groaned.
"Give me that!" Abe yelled. "This is how you do it!" He took a deep breath. "(Long string of slick carnival salesman talk that would make Trader Slick green with envy)" The people were entranced by his advertisement of a magic cure all medicine. They bought the potion.
Trader Slick scoffed. "I can do that without stopping for a breath..."
Professor Frink was the first to try it. It turned him into a handsome scientist and Mrs Frink, his scientist wife (he was married back in the older episodes) fell in love with him.
"What say we amscray out of here and have a wild wingding... at the cyclotron, doctor." said Handsome Frink/John.
"Anything you say, professor." said Mrs Frink. Who is also a professor.
Meanwhile Dr Hibbert was discussing the potion before try it. He chuckled as usual but we never see if it actually works.
It even worked on Kirk and Luanne as the miraculously stopped bickering.
"Let's push our beds together and forget these silly, silly arguments we've been having..." said Luanne horny.
"I even bought Milhouse a tent so he can go camping in the yard!" said Kirk.
"Awesome!" Milhouse goes out in the yard and sets up a tent. Blissfully unaware of his parents having sex...
More and more Moms and Dads turfed their kids outside so they could make love.
Janey, Ralph, Boy with pink shades etc were baffled as their parents pushed them outside to play out and give them space.
...
Meanwhile Bart and Lisa are watching as grown ups are acting erratically and looking themselves in and shutting the curtains/blinds.
"Lis, it says here that aliens are often associated with people acting abnormally because of some paranormal phenomenon. I.e. Telephone explosions." Bart explained reading his book.
A street phone box then exploded.
"Hmmmmm!" Lisa sighed.
The town was soon a ghost town.
Ralph came upto Bart and Lisa with a Tupperware dinner. "Can you cook my dinner? Mommy and Daddy have locked themselves in the house and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove!"
Bart rolled his eyes at Ralph's childishness.
Nelson then appeared. "With no grown ups around, I run this town!" He paused awkwardly. "Carry on!"
"This feels like an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy." Oscar sighed. "No scratch that. Every single episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy."
Bart sighed. "No one cares Oz..."
"Plank cares!" said Johnny 2x4.
Bart sighed.
Ralph then wanted to do something uh fruity. He wrote on his designs for a dream house, a veranda for drinking non alcoholic mint juleps on.
"Ralph that's gay..." said Bart. Lisa glared and elbowed him in the gut.
"Oof!"
Luckily what Bart said went over Ralph's head.
"Certainly! To my house chum! We'll have enough non alcoholic mint juleps for two!" said Martin, possibly gay with Ralph. Or just a freak.
Martin and Ralph left together.
Bart dry retched.
...
Eventually every kid in Springfield was in Bart's Treehouse. Bart had set up a black board and drawn what he thought was driving the grown ups crazy.
"I believe the grown ups have been brainwashed by the saucer people!" Bart explained.
"That's stupid! The democrats have been peddling that alien conspiracy for years! Or have they gotten to you too?" Milhouse argued. Suddenly Bart lunched at him and they started fighting. All the kids started cheering.
"Woo! Fight fight! Fight fight! Fight fight!" Oscar chanted.
"Oscar you're not helping!" Lisa yelled. She pulled Bart and Milhouse apart. "Alright break it up! Break it up!" Bart and Milhouse stopped fighting.
"Can't you see it's pointless arguing over such stupid theories?!" Lisa yelled.
"Well what do you propose. Miss know it all?!" Bart replied.
"I don't know, maybe they're reverse vampires and have to get home before dark!" Lisa replied.
All the kids screamed. "Ahhh! Reverse vampires?! Reverse vampires! Ahhhh!"
Ace rolled his eyes. "Pfft! Reverse vampires... that's ridiculous!"
At Martin's.
Ralph and Martin had non alcoholic mint juleps on the veranda.
"Something is very, very wrong with our son..." said Mr Prince.
That evening Bart, Lisa and Maggie were dropped off at Patty and Selma's because Homer and Marge were still horny...
That meant cow tongue sandwiches and cans of Clamato juice...
Bart and Lisa sighed.
"Aunt Patty do your have any idea why all the grown ups are acting weird...?" Lisa asked.
Patty knew the answer but didn't think it was appropriate to tell a child. Hmmmmmm! I've seen Marge with that amorous look for the the sack of lard before! Oh dear...
"Let's watch more slideshows of our vacations!" said Selma.
Bart, Lisa and Maggie screamed.
...
The next day. Everyone gathered in Bart's treehouse.
"Single file people. Single file..." said Bart.
Eventually both Bart's and Lisa's theory were considered as being in cahoots. "I.e. The Rand Corporation, Leading the saucer people are in turn in league with reverse vampires..." said Bart. Lisa and Ace rolled their eyes. as being the cause of the grown ups' weird behaviour. "In an insidious plot to make parents go to bed early in a diabolical scheme to eliminate the meal of dinner!"
"Nooooooo!" King Harkinian of Hyrule screamed.
Bart grimaced and face palmed.
"Why are you here..." Lewis sighed.
"We're going through the looking glass people..." said Milhouse holding some chalk.
Oscar played the Twilight Zone theme.
"Turn that off! Now!" Bart yelled annoyed.
The park.
Ralph and Martin were riding the pedal swan boats in the pond.
Ralph states he wants a tower to hold princesses hostage in. Um...
Martin pretends he didn't hear that remark and holds Ralph's hand.
In town.
There are reverse vampires pumping blood into people! Also they're invisible except in the mirror!
Oscar staked a reverse vampire in the heart killing it.
"This is getting stupid..." said Ace.
King Harkinian was fighting the Saucer People to bring back the meal of dinner.
"I wonder what's for dinner..." said King Harkinian.
At the Simpsons house.
"Marge dear. Where's my pants?" Homer asked.
"You threw them out the window in a fit of passion." said Marge amorous and in love.
Maude was disgusted as she retched while trying to remove Homer's blue pants from a tree.
"Oh Neddy!" She cried.
Plot 3Homer and Grampa were going about various towns selling the love potion, however Homer inadvertently upset the locals of Spittle Town, a hick community and they angrily chased him out of town.
"They'd stop chasing us if you turned off that silly yokel music!" Abe yelled. Homer did so and the hicks left them alone.
Eventually they passed a ramshackled house in the countryside.
"Oh! Stop here! It's ol geezer's moose farm!" said Abe.
"Why are we stopping here Dad?" Homer asked.
"This is where you grew up!" Abe explained. He showed Homer around.
"This where the cows used to live before they started giving sour milk. Something spooked them pretty bad.
Homer had a flash back. Apparently it was him as a boy running around screaming and making faces at the cows that spooked them.
"Ha stupid cows! Blahbahblahblhlblbl! Awooga wooga wooga! Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh!"
"Let's see the hotdog tree I planted!" said Homer.
"Ha!" Laughed Adam West popping out of the long grass. "It's sausage plants young Simpson! Sausage plants!"
Homer grimaced.
In Bart's treehouse Oscar kept going on about ManBearPig.
"ManBearPig!"
Bart face palmed.
Ralph drank non alcoholic mint juleps and wore a dressing gown. He had combed his hair too!
Bart winced.
They then came up with more stupid conspiracy theories.
"Like Jewish space lasers." said Oscar.
Jurkle gawked at him.
"Oh yeah. Must remember Jurkle's Jewish." said Oscar.
...
They went inside and looked around. However a toilet broke through the ceiling and fell on Abe.
Homer laughed at him until a bath tub fell on him.
"There's the old radiation box. You used to sit in front of it for hours. Look! You even left a mark from your shadow!" Abe pointed out a silhouette of kid Homer on the wall.
Homer had another flashback. He was watching John F Kennedy on the TV making a big speech.
Homer then told his mom, Mona that he was John F Kennedy. Mona encouraged him that he would be president one day.
However Abe discouraged them. "We have things in place to stop people like you becoming president! Quit your daydreaming Melonhead!" Young Abe smacked Homer on the head with a newspaper. Well that obviously didn't work Abe...
In the present.
"Quit your daydreaming Melonhead!" Abe yelled.
Homer groaned.
Then a kangaroo broke in and started knocking over all the tables. And breaking the windows.
"Earwigs eyelids!" said Abe.
"Sorry folks! Streuth! Come ere Skippy!" Steve Irwin apologised as he collected the kangaroo.
At Bart's Treehouse he was doing a donation run for everyone to put together pocket money to buy drinks and snacks.
Ralph paid in jelly beans.
Bart sighed exasperated.
"Jelly beans would be money if I were President." said Ralph. "Well not black jelly beans."
"Oh good because we have things in place to keep silly people like you ever becoming president! Quit your daydreaming melon head!" Bart yelled.
Ralph cried because Bart yelled.
"Melonheads." Milhouse wrote on the blackboard. The Melonheads is an American urban cryptic or mythical monster.
"And the lizard people too. The lizard people are definitely behind this!" said Bart.
"I am the Lizard Queen!" said Lisa in her Lizard Queen phase...
Bart winced.
...
Homer and Abe went back to the car to drive back home to Springfield. However they started arguing.
"Dad, why do you have nothing nice to say about me!" Homer whined.
"Because you always screw up! You mess up everything, you screw up!" Abe yelled.
"You're a screw up!" Homer yelled.
"Why you little!" Abe strangled him.
"Ack! Kack! Aaaaaack! Ow! Now I know how Bart feels!" Homer made choking sounds as Abe strangled him. "That's it! We're going home! I'm sick of your stupid tonic!"
"If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 36 years ago I wouldn't have had you and I'd have been happy! You were an accident!" Abe yelled.
Homer gasped and stopped the car. "Get out." He said coldly.
"I'm sorry." Abe whimpered.
"Get out!"
"I'm getting out now, but I hope you find it in your heart not to drive awaaaaaay!" Homer drove away leaving Abe in the middle of nowhere. "Oh well, as long as I remember my army training I'll be fine." Some time later at night he forgot. "Oh..." wolves started howling.
Bart's treehouse.
Lisa mentioned Occam's razor when dryly dismissing Bart's silly conspiracy theories.
"What are you doing with Occam's razor?! He needs that to shave his beard!" Oscar yelled.
Lisa gawked at him baffled by his mental state.
"No it's the town chickens! They're all against us!" said Link from the legend of Zelda.
"No they're against you because you keep slicing them with your sword..." said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
Elsewhere Abe was still stranded in the middle of nowhere.
"Hello... Helloooooo..." He called for help.
...
Marge found Homer that evening in a mood.
"What's wrong." Marge asked.
"I had a fight with Dad. He said I was an accident. He didn't want to have me." Homer explained.
"Oh... You say that about Bart all the time..." Marge sighed.
"But you're not supposed to tell the child!" Homer yelled.
"You tell Bart all the time! You said that to him this morning!" Marge retorted.
"But when I do it it's cute!" Homer whined.
Bart was walking by and shook his head.
"Bart! Go outside and play!" Homer yelled.
The door rang. At the door was Abe.
"I'm sorry..." Abe apologised. He had a bunch of flowers. Homer slammed the door on him. Abe posted the flowers through the letter box. They got shredded and crushed. "Hello..."
"Homer, are you just gonna ignore your dad for the rest of your life?" Marge sighed.
"No just the rest of his life!" Homer ranted. "From now on, I vow to be a better father! That'll show him!"
"I think we've been here before. When Bart fell out with me over him jumping the Springfield gorge." said Oscar picking up the crushed flowers.
"That's it. I'll jump Springfield Gorge, fail and hospitalise myself. Then he'll have to love me." said Homer.
"No stunts! You're gonna straighten this up with him!" said Marge.
Homer groaned.
Elsewhere Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend found a kosher erotic cake store.
"Oy vey..." He remarked.
...
That weekend Homer was holding Maggie in a pouch labled "Best Dad ever" and eating potato chips that fell into Maggie's hair. He was currently showing Bart his new bike.
"Behold your new bike!" said Homer. It was a girl's bike.
"Dad, I already have a bike. Secondly that bike is way too small for me. And thirdly that's a girl's bike!" Bart explained. The bike was pink!
"You are a girl. A great girl! You might be president one day, no you will be president!" Homer was being creepy and tried to ride on the small pink bike but crushed it. Suddenly Lisa yelled.
"Oh Lisa wants a push on her new tire swing!"
"No Dad! I want to get off!" Lisa yelled as Homer pushed the swing. "It's dripping this funny smelling oil and there's nails poking me!"
"Wheeeee!" Homer pushed the swing.
"Noooooo!" Lisa yelled. Eventually he helped her down. "No offence Dad but sometimes your love can be... scary!"
"Yeah, your half assed over parenting is worse than your half assed under parenting." said Bart.
"Bart! Watch your language!" yelled Marge.
Homer cried. "Well, you'll thank me for this one day kids. Now I must go and do some serious thinking." He went off somewhere.
"I think he meant some serious drinking..." Bart remarked.
"I thought so too..." Lisa sighed.
However Homer went up to the attic to feed Hugo his fish heads.
Hugo bit him.
"Why, you little borderline psycho-" Homer strangled Hugo.
Hugo gasped and wheezed.
Oscar was playing outside with Ralph but had magically transformed his legs into chicken legs with talons.
"Aaaaaagh! Chicken legs!" Ralph screamed.
...
Homer drove to the farm where he grew up apparently. Unknown to him Abe was in another part of the house lamenting the love potion that tore them apart.
"This is where it all started to go wrong..." Homer muttered. He found a picture of himself as a kid meeting Santa Claus. "Tch! He wasn't even there when I met Santa Claus that one Christmas morning..." Homer then suddenly noticed something about the Santa in the picture. "Wait a minute? Dad?" Homer tears up. "Oh! It warms my heart!" However the match he was holding set fire to the picture.
"Aaaaaaagh! Fire! Aaaaagh!" Homer waved the burning picture about setting fire to the house.
Meanwhile in another room.
"You've ruined everything! I wish I never invented you!" Abe yelled throwing a bottle of elixir into the fire. However it was extremely flammable and started a huge fire, Abe yelled as he caught fire.
Father and Son ran out of the house and bumped into each other.
"Dad! I'm sorry. I'm a screw up. I burnt down our house!" Homer cried.
"No, I'm a screw up. I burnt down our house!" said Abe.
"We're both screw ups!" They hugged.
"You know what. I'm not sorry I ever had you. You are the best son a man could ever have!" Abe explained.
"Oh Dad!" Homer cried. They then fell on the floor and rolled about to put out the fires on their clothes.
This is where the episode ends in canon but not here! Hehehehe!
Meanwhile that evening Bart's gang of conspiracy theorists were in his treehouse still trying to determine the adults' weird behaviour when Ralph climbed up exhausted.
"I know what our parents are doing! I hid in their closet and...(panting with exhaustion)" said Ralph.
The kids gasped. They were eager to find out what Ralph saw. There was desperate chatter.
"They were having. Sex!" Ralph yelled.
Everyone was silent including Bart.
"Sex eh?" said Bart. "And where you find sex you find the Mole People!" He said Mole people loudly and dramatically in Lisa's face.
Everyone groaned at his stupidity as he added it to the board along with the saucer people and reverse vampires.
The Hans Molemen in the underground fortress of the moles heard him.
"Oh dear... The surface dweller knows our secret!" said the leader of the Hans Molemen.
Plot 4After school Bart got detention for not doing his homework. He was writing lines. "My homework was not stolen by a one armed man."
Herman the one armed shopkeeper of the weapon and gun store laughed while teasing Bart with his homework.
"Hahaha! I have your homework!" said Herman.
"Hey! Give that back man!" Bart whined trying to get his homework back.
Mrs Krabappel was flabbergasted. "Um... I suppose I owe you an apology Bart."
Then at couch gag time the Simpsons did a couch gag where they ran about like cartoon characters with repeating backgrounds scrolling and silly grins on their faces.
That night Homer had lost his urge for love making as he was too busy watching a movie in bed.
"Tonight, Troy McClure in a high octane car chase with Springfield police.
"Troy if these are the stoke diamonds then where's our drug money?!" asks a criminal with Troy McClure.
"There's more than one way to get high Scotty." said Troy.
Marge was snuggling Homer as he tried to watch the movie.
"Marge! Baby it's not often I get to watch a movie in bed of this caliber!" Homer whined.
"Homer this is the news report! Troy NcClure has got himself in trouble with the law again! Now let's snuggle!" said Marge.
"But Marge! I've only seen this movie twice and I've seen you once every night for eleven- I mean I'm tired tonight sweetie! Maybe tomorrow!" said Homer before making an excuse because Marge was glaring at him.
The next night Homer groaned while undoing his belt and lying shirtless on the bed. "Oooooooh... Enchiladas!" He groaned as his stomach groan as well.
Bart laughed hysterically.
"Get to bed!" Homer yelled.
Marge sighed. "Homer take your magic love medicine!"
"But Marge! Dad and I have just found out it's extremely flammable!" Homer explained.
"Well don't expose it to any naked flames then!" said Marge.
"Mmmmmmmm... naked flames..." said Homer aroused.
...
The next day.
Lisa managed to get a sensible Al Gore book.
"I found the new Al Gore book." [holds it up]
"Sane Planning, Sensible Tomorrow." saidMarge reading the cover.
"Yeah, I hope it's as exciting as his other book, "Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future". said Lisa.
"Or The Truth about ManBearPig!" said Oscar dramatically.
"No Oz..." Lisa sighed.
"ManBearPig!" Oscar demanded.
Later Homer eventually got his mojo back.
"Here he is: Rex Harrison and Paul Anka rolled into one. Ooh," Marge wrapped her arms lovingly around Homer in the bathroom.
"How is Dr Dolittle attractive?!" Oscar winced.
Homer growled at him to get out of the bathroom.
"Homer..." Marge sighed frowning at him. She broke off snuggling him and went off after Oscar. "Sweetie are you trying to tell Mommy you've done a fudgey in your diapee?"
"Yes Foster Monmmy... You aren't my birth mother and you wouldn't want to be her after what she did to me..." said Oscar holding a diaper indicating he needed changing.
Later...
Grampa forgot he hated the love potion because it caused an argument with Homer.
"Hurry up! We've got a lot of tonic to sell and a lot of towns to visit: Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid..." said Grampa.
Oscar screamed with laughter. "Nyahahahaha! Lake flaccid..."
"Ooooooooh! Abe! He heard that!" Marge grumbled annoyed.
"Dad we're not selling the love potion elixir anymore. It tore us apart..." said Homer.
...
In Bart's treehouse.
Bart had all his friends over as part of the "Kids who's parents are acting weird because of the love potion."
On the chalkboard were the following evils... Saucer people, reverse vampires, mole people...
And Oscar wrote down ManBearPig.
"No Oz..." Bart groaned.
"ManBearPig!" Oscar cheered.
Bart face palmed.