It's dangerous here. Go fly somewhere faraway.
No. Not like this.
You've got wings. Use them.
No. Don't take off.
Gabi!
No!
He flew away with the black and silver wings.
…
The scene repeated in Colt's head again and again, growing more monotonous than the allegiance he swore to Marley. Yet it was all he could transfix his thoughts on. He couldn't think. He couldn't eat. It hurt him so much to breathe. Mom and Dad must have felt even worse than him. Not that he had any spare time to see how they were doing after Eren Jaeger attacked their hometown. All he could be grateful for was that they were in the back seating out of the direct path of the flying rubble.
The fact that he saw them trying to help some of the lesser wounded was a blessing. There was no way that the dead had been counted by now, let alone those who were bleeding out or wailing in pain from broken bones or eyes out of socket. Simply too many people to really care about whose faces he didn't recognize. He couldn't save any of the four who really mattered.
Nobody could have reacted that fast, he tried assuring himself. But why had the rest of the unit been called away? Had the military received notice of a threat to public safety? If so, why did they not evacuate the stage? The kids could have at least been taken somewhere safe. But they never cared about them. No, they never did.
The whole city was filled with the scent of ash heaps still burning. The sea breeze proliferated the smoky air through the open doors in the infirmary which added its own unique scent of sweaty and bloody bodies and bandages and the scent of incense on top of it in a flimsy attempt to mask the smell of death and destruction.
Corridors overflowed with patients without beds to rest on. Some doctors and nurses knelt over as they treated them, but some were probably not going to get proper care if more supplies didn't arrive and if more beds didn't open up.
"Watch your step!"
Colt nearly tripped over a patient's leg with a bone sticking out as the nurse leading him to a room snapped at him to be more careful. A few conscious patients took notice of the yellow armband around his sleeve and slightly shuffled themselves out of the way. Or maybe they noticed the spare folded uniform he was carrying with a red armband on top. This was all he could do at the moment to be useful to the unit.
Commander Magath received word that Reiner had finally woken up and sent Colt to provide him with a fresh uniform. He hadn't received any major injuries, but he was stuck in an inexplicable state of low pulse. Colt was only thankful that Porco and Pieck had been the ones to break the news to him about the children. His throat hurt from his screaming and the smoke inhalation. If he had to explain what he witnessed again, he wouldn't have any strength left to continue his duties.
The nurse stopped outside a door where Pieck was waiting. She somberly acknowledged his presence. "Did they move Zofia yet?" Her voice cracked.
"We can't until the investigation is complete," Colt replied. "One of you will have to. The boulder is too big to break." His lip trembled. "Here, I have these for Reiner." He tried to pass the uniform to her, but Pieck insisted he come into the room. They needed each other more than ever, Honorary status or not. She sniffled with every step she took.
Two of the beds were occupied by civilians and nurses at their side. On the right side, Porco sat on one bed as he took swigs of wine of some sort. He didn't look up as Colt passed by. Reiner was sitting up, equally unresponsive to his arrival while a doctor was giving him a final examination in order to leave.
"Heart rate is back to normal," the doctor said, tucking his stethoscope away. "You're fine enough to walk out. Please try to leave as quickly as possible." He looked as if hadn't slept for days. He eyed the whole unit if his words hadn't been harsh enough. It wasn't proper to be treated like the heroes of Marley when they had been beaten down like meat in the butcher shop.
"Reiner. Hi. I brought you a new uniform." He tried to sound cheerful to avoid the obvious topic at hand as he handed it to Reiner. His expression was blank.
"Ugh, he's doing it again," said Porco. Reiner was prone to these episodes. It was as if he lost awareness that he was in a place or having a conversation.
"Gabi and Falco are on the airship?" were the first words from his mouth.
"They are. They were. I don't know. Gabi climbed onto the rope and Falco followed her! I tried to stop them but Gabi's too strong willed to listen!"
"Keep it down," Porco snarled between sips. "We can't let the public know yet." The patients were too occupied with their doctors to be listening or were unconscious. He saw Colt eying the bottle of the sweet drink of the old Marleyan gods and swiftly tucked it away. "Not now. Unless you want the island devils to hear you scream from here."
Oh, he wanted to. He wanted answers. Everyone here now knew what they were capable of. He didn't want to believe that other people could be that merciless to take two innocent kids who had nothing to do with the mission there years ago with them. He didn't want to speculate as to what they would do to them. Question them? Torture them? Oh hell, he couldn't bring himself to believe that one against his will. They had to be alive. He decided not to dwell on that and think of the situation at hand for the accounted Titans. They had no time to sit around and wait to plot their next steps.
"Let's think this through. We're down to three of us now. The Warhammer, the Colossal, the Founder, and the Attack are with Paradis. Beast is probably dead. Did anybody report seeing the Female Titan? I heard some gossip around the barracks that Colossal is probably not Hoover anymore and-"
"Grice, seriously, shut your mouth!" Porco snapped. Reiner flinched. Colt regretted bringing up the topic of two of those Titan Shifters to him.
"We need to make a plan!"
"The entire port was blown up! What are we supposed to do?!"
"You two, stop it! Please!" Pieck stepped between them. She didn't hold back her tears. The medical personnel and other patients took notice of their ruckus. She wiped her eyes. "Reiner, come on, get dressed. We need to go somewhere private. Colt, please tell us what happened when we get there. I need some strength to fight on for Udo and Zofia. And Zeke."
"Really, Pieck? I was just starting to enjoy this view of Reiner. It's not too different than he was out there. Motionless, stripped down. Maybe he'll become a consolation prize for another potential candidate if the brass decides to show mercy to us."
"Pock!" All the amusement she usually gained from Porco's sarcasm had drained from her. It oozed out like the blood was running into the sewers.
Reiner resumed that blank stare ahead at the opposite wall. Colt hoped he remembered what happened since he was last with Falco. Hadn't they been near where Eren Jaeger emerged in his monstrous form? But why had Falco wanted Reiner to come with him? Just more questions to add to the heap.
Reiner finally mustered up the mental fortitude to start dressing even if Pieck had to act like a play director and guide him through was always some bad blood between him and Porco for some reason, probably on account of his dead brother. These emotions about who deserved whose Titan here had no place in this crisis. The two likely living children did. As did the status of Zeke Jaeger. It seemed he too was dead. If so, a new Eldian baby might have been harboring the Beast.
But Commander Magath saw one of Paradis' soldiers sneak attack and detonate a bomb, which blasted him and the kids to the side. If by any chance he was kept alive by Paradis, they may have stripped him of his Beast. If they figured out how to do it with the Colossal, there was no doubt they would try.
"Come on, guys. None of us in the unit were prepared for this. Except maybe… come on. We've got a truck outside waiting for us."
He motioned them to follow him back out. The same doctor as before was tapping his foot impatiently as a nurse helped a patient with head bandages to balance. "So much for the strength and hope of the Marleyan Empire," he muttered under his breath. He probably intended that toward the unit specifically.
Colt wished he could verbalize the same, except toward Marley itself.
….
Colt easily kept up with little Falco as he jogged down the street in the early morning hours. The five year old boy understood that he wasn't going to a big festival of games and sports in a few weeks but to military training that would keep their family together as proof that they were not traitors to the country. He huffed and puffed and came to a stop and stooped over.
"Are we done yet?"
"Just a few more laps, Falco. I know you can do it!" Colt encouraged. "You're going to be big and strong like me one day."
"What if I don't?"
"You will!" He smiled and patted him on the shoulder. But inside, he feared the worst. The firstborn son being chosen as a candidate wasn't enough to atone for his uncle's crime. Each and every member of the family had to provide proof they weren't involved with the Restorationists, even if they were born long after his death. It was a way the Public Authorities checked in on those who were alive at the time to make sure that they were not passing down any pernicious traces of that ideology to their offspring.
It was so hard on their mother and father too. They had never met any members of Mom's family; the shame was too great for them. Dad took it especially hard. His father had been involved at the library and helped Marley approve of books for the general public, just like his father before him. He had been so close to being sent away to Paradis Island following accusations that he had passed off forbidden material to his brother.
"Colt, will you help me win?"
"Win a Titan?"
"Yeah, I don't want to go away to the island. I want to be with mama and papa."
"Oh, Falco. I can't always be there in class with you. But when you go to the battlefield, I'll make sure to protect you. We'll always come home together. Okay?"
"Okay." The little boy blinked. "I want to run more. I can do it."
…
The truck rattled and hit many bumps and small pieces of debris. Colt sat tightly and rested his head in his hands. They were at home, but it had been turned into a battlefield. And he didn't live up to his promise either. Now Falco was facing a repeat of the same fate in the same place as his uncle had. The same possibilities spun around Colt's mind as to what could befall him there. He wished he knew how to pray. He would offer himself to bring Falco home if he could.
Crunch.
Colt's face clenched. He felt the terror of the rushing crowd. He heard Gabi screaming.
He heard the sound of sweet little Udo's skull getting bashed in and his neck twisted at unnatural angles as the crowd members' feet kicked and punted him. What looked like Zofia's blood pooled under the massive boulder next to that of a military personnel's. He didn't want Gabi to lose another friend. He knew Udo's body had already gone cold, but he didn't want to believe he was gone as much as Udo had believed Zofia could still be saved.
You couldn't always think rationally on the battlefield when military gains didn't personally matter to you and only your family and friends stuck there with you did.
"Colt?" Pieck was sitting next to him and touched him. He flinched.
"I thought I…. I heard Udo's neck break. Didn't the crowd see him stuck there?"
Porco sniffed and hid his face. He wasn't the younger boys' favorite Warrior to spend time with during rare moments of downtime, and the Commander didn't think he was a great influence due to his rash behavior, but he nonetheless loved them. Colt knew that by the fact he didn't bother to make a snarky reply or reprimand him for questioning the obvious.
The truck came to a standstill, but nobody came to open the doors and the engine kept running. Probably waiting for foot traffic to pass. Not that Colt minded not looking outside for once. It was much safer to be caged inside an enclosed vehicle.
Pieck sighed. "I'd never seen the kids so happy before. The world appreciated us for once."
"Well, now the world hates the island even more," Porco said. "Colt, do you know if any island devils have been captured alive?"
"No. I think a few got shot down though. They were examining some gear back at the base. Looked like breast plates with some wings on them."
"I'd rip them alive if they lived." He turned to Reiner. "Hey, Reiner. Are you doing it again?" He'd been rather quiet the whole ride over.
Reiner didn't reply.
"Reiner?"
Reiner gritted his teeth. "I hear you. It's coming back to me now. I wasn't sure when to bring this up. Colt… on the other night, Falco had taken me with him because he said there was an old friend of mine who wanted to see me."
"Old friend?"
"I didn't know who he was talking about. He took me below the stage." He paused, casting a glance at the floor of the truck. "Guys. Eren had been in contact with Falco."
Colt's chest tightened. That monster had gotten his hands on his little brother? He jumped and nearly hit his head on the roof. "What?!" Pieck didn't bother to calm him. She and Porco were equally stunned by the revelation.
"He snuck into Marley and disguised himself as a wounded soldier. I don't know how long they were speaking, but he used Falco to send messages to his comrades. That's how they plotted the attack."
Colt's heart raced. He slumped over, his whole body feeling numb. Oh, damn it. Damn it all. Falco was such a sweet and unassuming boy. Mom and Dad had always taught them to be respectful, no matter to a Marleyan or fellow Eldian, no matter their family's status. But maybe they were too nice toward others. Why hadn't he been paying attention to him after returning from the Mideast? All he could do was sleep off hangovers and spend time with Zeke in next year's preparation for transfer.
Why had Marley and these stupid wars taken away this time his family needed him the most? Just one battlefield after the other of dodging mines and bullets and cannons. And when Zeke was to give him the Beast Titan? Even more of that for thirteen years!
And now the Devil himself had sunk his claws into Falco and snatched him out of reach.
"He stole him." Colt folded over and sobbed heavily. The others didn't try to console him.
…
There was no smell of smoke or blood in the barracks. Tensions hung high the same as the infirmary though. Nobody bothered to speak in hushed tones. All Colt heard was yelling and screaming. Considering the military had been heavily annihilated, it seemed as full as ever.
Colt laid in bed in a fetal position. Tranquilizers were in short supply. No alcohol was on hand either. He hadn't taken his uniform off, and his armband was stained from his tears. He didn't care if the Commander wrote him up.
He never wanted a stupid armband. His parents didn't either. Publicly, they made their vows to Marley and spoke in high praise of becoming Honorary Marleyans. Privately, it was another chore to them to grudgingly get through. Mom and Dad loved reading books to him when he was little. They put on character voices and happily sang the songs of the funny talking animals. But any books surrounding the Eldians, their personalities seemed to disappear. No humor, no inflection, and only a solemn warning to think carefully about what Marley taught. He only understood what they were implicitly saying as he got older.
His training group was the one that came after the mission to the island began. He was one of the only trainees who wasn't there as a result of patriotic fervor. Some other kids were there to earn benefits for sick parents or get more rations for their service. But kids sang songs about being loyal to Marley no matter what and how it was more important than their parents and their own lives. They babbled loudly during lunch about wondering which Titan they could inherit if they were lucky.
None of the other kids really liked him. The Commander had used him as an example of one whose family had betrayed this great nation. His classmates didn't want to associate with a blood relative of a traitor. He sat alone and in constant thought. Mom and Dad would always worry when he got home. He was doing well in grades but not in making friends.
"Oh, I wish you could go to regular school," Mom would say. Dad would bring him home books from the library meant for kids going to this regular school. All approved by Public Authorities, of course. He got to learn more about the history of other nations- although Dad would encourage him to skip the pages involving Eldian contact with them.
"Maybe if you're in the military, you can one day see these places," Dad reassured somberly. It was a gross reassurance, but it wasn't a lie. He saw them through the view of a scope on a rifle. But it wasn't as if his parents asked for the details. They knew what he got to see.
As the years went by and wars were fought, Colt had won the honor and respect of his classmates when it was announced he had won the slot to inherit the Beast Titan from Zeke Jaeger. He hadn't met him before personally, but he knew who he was, and not just for his reputation of being Boy Wonder. He was the reason he had no choice in his life. Was this a reason to hate him?
Colt soon found no reason to dislike him personality wise. He was only doing his job, according to Dad. If anybody actively incited a rebellion, that could have led to a civil war in the Internment Zone, and maybe none of them would be around today. His uncle indeed had committed a crime. Zeke had been in the right. Instead of their first meeting being in a stuffy conference room, Zeke invited him outside to the courtyard. He shook his hand.
"So, you are to be my successor, Mr. Grice? It's the only proper way to save Eldia, after all."
"Yes, sir. I pledged my life to show we are not criminals."
Zeke nodded. "A far better justification than some two-timing plot to castrate the Jewel of the Sea, only to have your balls ripped off in the process."
Colt felt his cheeks flush red. "Uh, definitely, sir." He wasn't sure which part of what he was saying was more awkward. Zeke started laughing at him.
"Well, your parents definitely raised you to be polite to others. The fact you're not trying to rip mine off is a testament to that. Many would not show such mercy to the one who took away every sense of privacy and normalcy." He pulled something out of his coat pocket. "Here, we don't need to focus on any boring paperwork or mull over our family relations today. It's a harsh fact of life that neither of us got to have normal childhoods, so why not a game of ball? I must warn you, I'm quite the pitcher."
He was always so cool and collected, and his odd sense of humor always gave him a chuckle. And now, not even his mentor was here and probably not alive anymore either.
A knock on the door startled Colt up. In walked Reiner. He must have just returned from his one-on-one briefing with the Commander. He was lacking that strange empty stare that popped in sometimes and instead looked absolutely exhausted.
"Colt, you up? We're going to be having an emergency conference in an hour. The investigation isn't complete yet, but there are some findings that Commander Magath needs to share with us." He sat on the opposite bed, rubbing his temples. Colt weakly rolled over to face him.
"Where are Pieck and Porco?"
"Galliard's having his fifth smoke break, and Pieck is helping with an emergency draft for any physically capable man over fifteen. Tons of volunteer enlistees at the gate too."
Colt sat up. It felt like he had heavy weights tied to his body. Only Reiner could understand what was going through his head right now that the other two couldn't. He didn't care if anybody heard him ask this question. "Reiner, you've been to the island. Are the people there really that devilish that they would kill two children who deliberately snuck onto their airship?"
Reiner mulled over that one. He exhaled. "If we assume they actually made it to the island intact, it's not too likely. They have no Titans to steal from them. They might interrogate them though given their standing in the military." He paused, then a small smile appeared on his face. Damn it, was he having another episode? "And you know Gabi, always boasting about her family name. If she lets it slip that her cousin is the Armored Titan, she's going to put a huge bargaining chip on their heads. Heh. It's like my old friends asking for a full on class reunion there."
Colt took the water pitcher from his nightstand and drank heavily. Fresh water, for once, tasted better than alcohol. "Sorry, Reiner. I know the island gave you some bad memories. But did you guys hear what Willy Tybur said before this all happened? The Great Titan War ending just being one big conspiracy to end the war? The King's followers having their memories wiped of the rest of the world? Just how much have the people learned there, and how? Do you think they're plotting another terrorist attack for another territory? Or do you think they're planning on releasing the Wall Titans?"
Reiner rolled onto the bed and covered his face with his hands. "I don't know, Colt. We figured out most of that shit more or less a few years into the mission that something was up. Eren's their military's highest asset. They follow his ass wherever he could be plotting anything."
Colt's legs ached and cried for a stretch break. He stood up and felt the blood rush to them too quickly. He ignored the tingling sensation. "Whatever happens next, I'm bringing Falco home. He doesn't deserve any of this."
"Neither does Gabi. Falco's going to protect her, though. He promised he'd save her."
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry. We'll save them both. I really need to sleep. Wake me fifteen minutes before the conference." Reiner turned over and away from Colt. Colt hoped he was okay. He'd slept for over a day's time earlier.
His friends. What kind of friends were these, exactly? They'd swooped from the sky donning black and silver wings. Great predatory birds seeking cadavers to devour. No. Maybe not all of them were monsters. But if even one of them could keep them safe and return them alive, that was only when he would consider any of them a friend.
Colt stepped outside the door and sought the nearest window in the mess hall. Sitting on the windowsill was a tiny bird. It fluttered away as soon as it noticed the man through the glass. And it was just within his reach. And without warning, it was gone.
"Fly away, it's not safe," he spoke.
His little brother and his friend had flown away. But they didn't have wings. None of them ever would. He just had to bring them back here. At least in this tight little nest, they would have each other until their time was up. He couldn't forget his promise.
When you go to the battlefield, I'll make sure to protect you.