Chapter 4

"Nice outfit," Casey Wells said.

Ellie pulled out her rolling desk chair and sat down. She opened the bottom drawer of the reception desk and dropped her purse in there.

Casey perched on the edge of Ellie's desk. She glanced around them at the still empty waiting room, then at the other dental hygienist. She waited for the other woman to pass through the reception area, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. Ellie pretended she didn't know what Casey was going to say.

"You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

Ellie looked down at her clothes as if she was surprised. "Am I?" she asked, like she didn't notice that her cropped black pants, t-shirt and jean jacket were what she had on yesterday. As if she hadn't pulled them off the floor of Chris' bedroom that morning and put them on after using his shower.

"So where were you?" Casey asked with a gleam in her eye. "Or should I say, who were you with?"

Ellie gave the drawer a hard shove to close it. She caught herself before it slammed.

"Ellie?" Casey asked.

"It's just a fling," Ellie said.

"A fling?" Casey's legs dangled down as she waited for Ellie to answer. Her bright blue scrub pants and flower print top made her look younger than her twenty two years. And suddenly Ellie felt older than her own twenty two years.

"Just a fling," Ellie said. "This guy who…" She didn't know what to say. This guy who was going to leave in a few days? This guy who she had a deeper connection with than anyone she had ever been with and it was all just a big mistake?

"A mistake," she muttered. She had made tons of mistakes before. Hundreds, thousands, millions. And never had an ounce of regret about any of them. And this would be one she wouldn't regret. She couldn't bring herself to regret one minute with Chris. But as she thought of the look of finality in his eyes when she had got out of his car that morning, she had known. She had jumped in blindly and it was going to hurt when it was over. And it was going to be over. She was going to be left here alone, her heart bleeding, when Chris left to go overseas on his deployment.

"Hey," Casey said softly. "Are you ok?"

Ellie drew in a deep breath. She straightened up and gave Casey a bright smile. "I'm good," she said. The glass doors opened, a mother with two kids coming in. "It's nothing," Ellie assured Casey. That much was true. It was nothing. Her fling with Chris meant nothing.

Ellie greeted the patients with a bright smile she didn't feel, getting the needed paperwork together on a clipboard to slide across the desk to the mother. She shoved aside any pain in her heart, focusing on her work.

#

Buck slid a frozen pizza into the oven. He closed the oven door and set the timer.

He paused, staring at the numbers counting down.

Each second brought him closer to going back. He braced his hands on the counter and dropped his head.

They had barely made it out of there the last time. And Stephen hadn't. Stephen was now in a grave in Arlington National Cemetary.

Buck's fingers curled against the counter. He hadn't known Stephen Travis that well. The man was part of SEAL Team 3. But Buck had liked the man. He had liked all of the other team they were assigned to a joint mission with.

Oren Travis should know better than anyone what could happen over there. It was his son who was in the ground from an insurgent's gun. And yet, Oren was foisting some green, wet behind the ears kid on them.

"Buck?"

Buck squeezed his eyes shut, willing the fears to stay down where they belonged, far from Ellie.

Opening his eyes, he pushed off the counter. "In the kitchen," he called back.

Ellie came into the kitchen, lugging a laundry basket overflowing with clothes. She gave him a friendly greeting on her way to the laundry room that was off the kitchen. Buck must have managed an easy enough greeting because she didn't act like anything was amiss and kept going.

Buck blew a breath out. He went to the fridge and got out a couple of cans of Coke and set them on the table with paper plates. He heard the washing machine start and Ellie came back into the kitchen.

"Pepperoni?" she asked.

"With extra black olives," he said.

"Perfect," she sighed. She sank into one of the chairs at his table and pulled the can near her.

Buck eyed her for the first time since she had come in. She looked fine at first, but then he saw the shadows in her eyes. The way her lips pulled slightly when she let down her guard.

"Rough day at work?" he asked.

Ellie looked up in surprise. She laughed and shook her head, but something in her movements was off. "Work was fine. For me, at least. Casey got bit—twice—by a pair of five year old twins."

Buck grimaced. "You couldn't pay me enough to work anywhere near a dentist."

Ellie smiled, the shadows fading, making Buck wonder if he had imagined them. "That's why I work out front. I don't want anywhere near those drills and tools and biters."

Buck gave her a look that said he knew better. He was well aware that more than once Ellie had gone back with a patient to hold their hand during their dental visit. She had a knack for putting people at ease.

Including him. When things got at their worst overseas, he knew Ellie would be there for their weekly video call and it was like an oasis in the desert. A little break from reality.

"I'm gonna miss you, Elle-belle," he said suddenly.

Her smile immediately faded, growing serious. "I'll miss you, too, Buck. I already miss you."

Buck gave her hand a squeeze. For so long it had been just him and Ellie against the world. And eventually him and Chris and Ellie. He had known how much it grieved her to be left behind when he and Chris had enlisted. But then she would look at them with pride and listen when they talked about their SEAL training, and they had found a new balance. One that they somehow maintained with every deployment.

The oven timer beeped and Buck shook off the melancholy turn of thoughts and went to pull the pizza out.

Ellie got the pizza cutter and sliced it as soon as Buck had it on the counter. He laughed at her eagerness.

"Hungry?" he asked.

Ellie just wiggled her eyebrows at him as she lifted a slice to her mouth, sucking in air and fanning her mouth with her hand when the steaming cheese hit her tongue.

"So worth it," she defended herself to his skeptical look, taking a long drink of her Coke.

"I'm pretty sure that's what you've said about every single decision you've ever made, no matter how bad it's blown up in your face," Buck reminded her. "Or burned you."

"And I don't regret anything," she insisted stubbornly. But there it was again. The shadow that crossed her face before she smiled at him and picked up her pizza again. "Now let's talk about your regrets, Bucko," she said. "There was that dancer who ended up being a stalker—"

"She was just a little intense," Buck argued. He held back a shudder, remembering the way that woman had looked right at him and threatened to shoot him if she ever saw him with another woman.

"And the soul patch," Ellie continued.

"Nothin' wrong with trying out a new look," Buck said, running his hand over his full mustache and holding back a wince at the memory of that decision.

"And the bowling league."

Buck would give her that one. Putting together a bowling team with Ellie and a bunch of men had ended with him in more than one fight when the entire league was watching Ellie bend over to pick up her ball.

Buck shook his head, shaking off those memories before his blood started boiling at the catcalls Ellie had elicited in the bowling alley. "This ain't about me," he said.

"It's always about you," Ellie said. Her features softened. "You've been my whole life, Buck. You and Chris." Again that dark cloud dimming her expression.

So that was it. She was already missing him and Chris with them deploying in only a couple days.

"You know I'll miss you somethin' fierce," Buck said. "But the months will go faster than you know and I'll be back here fightin' the losers who think they're good enough for you, and you'll get Chris' glares every time you tease him."

Ellie's lips started to tremble and Buck mentally kicked himself. He could usually tease Ellie into a good mood, but he should have known she was feeling this deployment too deeply to have him make light of it.

He was about to change course and tell her how much he was going to miss her, but she took a long drink of her Coke and picked up her pizza again, her tears blinked away. He could see how hard she was trying to look like she wasn't bothered. So he didn't push.

"You want to turn on the game?" he asked.

Ellie gave him a look that was pure relief that he wasn't going to push her. He wouldn't ruin their last night together by making her face the sadness looming over both of them.

#

"Chris."

Chris looked over at Vin. From the way the other man was looking at him, he had tried more than once to get Chris' attention.

"You ok, Pard?" Vin asked.

"Fine," Chris said shortly. Vin clearly didn't believe him.

Chris picked up the assault rifle, the same kind they would use when they deployed, and checked it over. He shoved thoughts of Ellie aside and focused on the task at hand.

"Hi fellas!"

Everything in Chris tensed at the cheerful greeting and he looked over at Vin.

Vin met his gaze evenly.

Chris bit back what he wanted to say and looked over at JD, trotting across the field toward the outdoor shooting range.

"Hi Vin, hi Chris. I mean, Sir. Commander Larabee, sir. I mean—"

"Just Chris is fine," Vin interrupted the kid when Chris only stared at the younger man.

"Ok. Chris. Sir. Thanks for telling me to meet you guys here, Vin," JD said. "I heard you're like a legend in the SEALs for your marksmanship. Do you think—"

Chris cut the kid off. "Take a gun and shoot," he ordered JD.

"Right. I mean, yes sir."

Chris closed his eyes and fought for control. He didn't want to be dealing with some eager kid who would be his sole responsibility in just a few short days.

He wanted to be with Ellie.

The thought caught him off guard, but then he found himself thinking of her gentle smile, the way she would tease him out of his black thoughts and—when she couldn't—link her fingers through his or run a light touch over his shoulders without saying anything. He felt closer to whole when he was with her. And it had been a long time since he had felt whole.

The sharp sound of rifle fire jolted him out of his thoughts, reminding him where he was and where he belonged. And it definitely wasn't with Ellie.

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