Ldub: Thanks for reviewing!

Hawknest143: Thanks for reviewing! I feel bad for Charlotte :/

EmilyCMalfoy: Thanks for reviewing! Daphne is one of her closest friends and wants to help her. Charlotte would do the same if the roles were reversed, so Daphne won't give up easily

CHAPTER 19

McGonagall doesn't keep me after class at all this week, regardless of my refusal to focus in Transfiguration. Theodore has stopped trying to make me pay attention, but he does attempt to keep me awake. Daphne sits close to us but never speaks to me. And quite frankly I've never been so relieved. No one bothers me anymore. I'm completely and totally alone. Except for Severus, who allows me to sit in his office and do homework while he does whatever it is that he does. Often we'll even eat in his office so as to avoid everyone else in the castle. That and he's tired of me not eating and decided that if I can at least eat just a little bit in his office with him, I'll at least get some nutrients.

It's the best routine I've fallen into at Hogwarts in quite some time.

I'm walking alongside Daphne into Amycus's class room when she finally huffs and says, "Okay, you can avoid doing work in McGonagall's class because you're so far ahead in Transfiguration and because McGonagall seems to like you, but the Carrows are dangerous, so you have no choice but to pay attention in here."

I cut her an angry glare but don't reply, for Amycus, his eyes gliding over each of us, a cruel smile on his lips, commands from his place in the front of the classroom, "Half-bloods, that side of the room. Purebloods, this side of the room." The Carrow siblings seem more inclined to discriminate against the blood status of the students than they were last week.

"Why?" Seamus Finnigan asks.

"A test," the Death Eater says. "To prove purebloods are more powerful. We will be using the Blasting Curse—Confringo." He smiles cruelly. "Better hope your half-blood friends know how to protect themselves. Go to your assigned places."

Each of us nervously moves to the appropriate sides of the room. I don't understand how this is supposed to do anything. Someone could die. Well, I guess that could very well be what Carrow is hoping for…

Neville moves to the side of the room where only half-bloods are to go, and Seamus takes his place on the pureblood side. It doesn't go unnoticed by Amycus. "Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Finnigan," he says, "did neither of you hear me properly?"

"We heard you properly," Neville says. "We just decided we liked this idea better."

"Detention. Now go to your proper places."

Neither of the Gryffindor boys move, and I realize just why they were Sorted into their House. They both bravely stand against Amycus Carrow, even knowing what could very well happen. Sure enough, the Carrow brother whips out his wand and shouts, "Crucio!" at Seamus.

Neville, ignoring his mate's screams, pulls out his wand and expels the wand from the Death Eater's hand. Amycus simply laughs, a wicked laugh that puts my nerves on edge. "Mr. Longbottom," he says. "That was not your best idea."

"It was better than yours—Cruciating a student! What kind of professor are you?"

"One to be feared," Amycus says dangerously.

"I don't fear you. And I never will."

"And that is your mistake." The man goes to get his wand. "Because now I must find a way to change that."

"Charlotte, wait! I want to talk to you!" I glance over at Christopher and the others, all of whom are sitting in the corner of the room with what appears to be their homework in front of them, as I make my way from the common room, but I do not stop walking. "Charlotte, wait!"

"I don't have time to talk right now," I call back.

"Charlotte, please!" Julia tries.

"Let her go," Daphne says.

None of them attempt to stop me when I leave the common room. And I'm free to make my way to Severus's office without anyone trying to stop me.

I shouldn't be so irritated that they so easily let me push them out of my lives. It was my choice, my actions, that distanced them, and I have to live with that. But I wish they would've fought at least a little to keep me around instead of so easily letting me slip away.

No, Charlotte, this is what you wanted. You wanted to protect them and yourself. Now live with it.

I come to a stop at the top of the stairs leading out of the dungeon and look back. Perhaps I should try to reverse all that I've done these two weeks. Maybe I can fix all of this.

No, Voldemort might put them in Azkaban, and I won't be able to live with myself for if that ever happens.

With a heavy heart I leave behind the Slytherins.

As I reach the second floor, a cold chill slides down my neck. Someone is following me. Most likely it is one of the Carrow siblings. And that means I should be safe to go to Severus's office. In what world would they want to stop me from speaking to the Death Eater in charge of Hogwarts?

"I just want to talk," a voice whispers to me.

"I'm a little busy at the moment," I whisper back over my shoulder. "I have to go see the headmaster."

"This late at night?"

"It's not curfew yet."

"That's not what I asked."

I look back and see a woman following me about ten feet away. "I'm allowed to speak with Professor Snape so long as he allows me into his office."

"But why—"

"I don't have to answer your questions anymore, Alecto. Don't make me tell the Dark Lord that you're harassing me."

Her steps slow, and I smirk to myself. As long as the Carrows fear me to some degree, this year might not be as horrible as I originally thought.

A strong grip grabs the back of my robes and slings me against a wooden door. The door flies open, and I fall to my back, my head whacking the stone floor. A whimper escapes me, the taste of blood filling my mouth where I bit my inner cheek. "I'm gonna kill you." I groan and roll onto my side, pulling my head into my arms.

"Charlotte—"

I reach into my robes and pull out my wand, but my actions are too slow, giving my attacker the chance to pounce on me, rip the wand from my hand, and pin me down. "Charlotte, are you okay?"

I painfully open my eyes, little black spots obscuring my vision, and see Daphne looking down at me. "What the fuck is your problem?" I growl, trying to pull myself free from her but unable to do so because everything hurts right now.

"I didn't mean—"

"Why are you—"

"You threatened to turn Carrow into You-Know-Who. What—"

I close my eyes, my head pounding, and say, "I can't talk about it."

"Then why—"

"Daphne, I can't talk about it. Just let me up."

She seems to register that she's still on top of me, for she makes a startled sound before sliding to the side and helping me sit up. I lean against the shelf in this small closet. She waves her wand, and some light comes from the tip of it. Then she sets it aside. "Charlotte, what's happened to you?"

"Other than you tackling me and probably giving me a concussion?"

"You know that wasn't my intention."

"I don't know what your intentions were."

She moves next to me and leans against the shelf with me. "I was trying to see why you're shutting us all out. The door falling open wasn't—wasn't ideal. How was I supposed to know that someone didn't close it all the way?"

"Weren't you the one who told the others to leave me alone?"

"Because I knew I would be able to hunt you down and possibly get you to speak to one of us. Especially if you thought I was on your side."

"And now I know that you're not, so there went that plan."

Daphne grins at me. "I was hoping that by telling you the truth you would be willing to open up and finally stop shutting us all out." I frown at her. "You can tell me what's happening."

I rest my head back on the shelf, tears already filling my eyes. "I can't talk about it."

"Then just listen." She inhales. "I know you're connected to You-Know-Who. Otherwise you wouldn't have threatened Carrow the way you did, right? You're in danger, aren't you?" I sigh. "That's a yes. You were going to see Snape, which I assume he would have allowed, yeah? That's where you disappear to when you're not in the dormitory, right?"

"Daphne, please—"

"That's a yes as well. If you're allowed to be around Snape—a Death Eater accused of murdering Dumbledore and therefore is most likely highly esteemed by You-Know-Who—then you must have some sort of standing with the Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, right? So maybe you're not in obvious danger but rather in some strange, convoluted way. Are they trying to kill you?"

"Daphne—"

"Just answer the question, Charlotte. Are they trying to kill you?"

"Not that I know of."

"But they're the reason you're acting so strange, right? They're the reason you're shutting all of us out?"

"In a way." I lean over and put my head on her shoulder, letting myself enjoy someone's company. (Someone other than Severus who is a welcome, silent companion.)

"They did something to you."

The sob escapes me before I even have the chance to register that I want to cry. "Yes."

She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, our fingers locking together. "Does Zoe know about it?" I'm unable to answer, gasping for breath through my tears, and she tightens her grip on my hand. "The two of you aren't together anymore, are you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

She rests her head atop mine. "You don't have to tell me what happened between the two of you. I don't care. You're both still my friends. I suppose I should write her. I haven't in quite some time." My breath catches in my throat. She pats my arm. "You don't have to shut all of us out. The second-years and Astoria and Malcolm all care for you. They miss you. It's all Astoria really talks about anymore. She's worried about you."

I pull away from her and stand to my feet. "I'm done talking about this, Daphne. Thank you for your kindness, but what I'm doing is for the best. I think it'd be best if you left now."

"It's probably curfew already," Daphne says, "which means you should probably come back with me."

"No, I was going to see someone, and I intend to do just that."

"Charlotte—"

"Don't argue with me." I open the door and wait for her to exit, doing my best to close it quietly behind us.

"Charlotte," Daphne whispers. She grabs me by the arm and directs my attention to the silhouette of someone at the end of the corridor, someone who is coming towards us rather quickly. "Do you think they saw us? Or can we duck back in the closet until they've passed?"

"Rodgers, Greengrass."

"Should we make a run for it?" Daphne asks quietly.

"It would be a waste now," I says softly, frustrated and angry that this only happened because Daphne couldn't mind her own damn business and let me go speak with Severus.

"I'm confident we could make it," she says, a joy in her voice that I wish I could share.

We probably could've escaped had this person not called our names. But it won't work now. Besides, if this is either one of the Carrows, I can get us out of this with very little effort. My heart sinks when I see who is approaching. McGonagall. "What are you two doing out after curfew?" she asks sternly.

An idea strikes me, and I subtly take Daphne's hand. She does not fight it. "I'm sorry, Professor, we were trying to talk without the rest of the Slytherins around, eavesdropping."

Her eyes fall on mine and Daphne's interlocked hands. "Both of you, my office, now."

"Professor, if we can just go back to the dungeon—"

"No, Rodgers." Her eyes are harsh and cold, and I know that I've lost all clout with McGonagall. And reasonably so, considering how standoffish and, frankly, rude I've been toward her since I first arrived at Hogwarts nearly a month ago. Perhaps I should have explained to her all that happened. Perhaps I should have given her the chance to help me rather than forcing myself away from her.

I drop Daphne's hand and do not argue with McGonagall as we make our way to her office. "I'm sorry," I whisper to Daphne.

"Silence," McGonagall commands.

Though I'm growing angrier by the second—I just want to go speak with Severus, just go be in his presence—I obey her.

She opens her office door and motions for us to enter. "Have you any idea what would have happened had one of the Deputy Headmasters found you?" she asks angrily as she makes her way to her desk.

"Well, I can almost guarantee that we wouldn't in trouble now, so I don't see the problem," I say.

Daphne glances at me with wide eyes. McGonagall comes to a stop and turns toward us.

"Ten points from Slytherin, for each of you."

"So twenty points in total then? Fine." I cross my arms in front of my chest. "Are we free to leave now?" Daphne hits my shoulder, trying to silence me. "Because, as you so intelligently pointed out, it's past curfew, which means we should be getting back to the common room, yeah?"

"Charlotte," Daphne hisses.

"Detention, Rodgers, for the both of you, every night this week."

"Charlotte."

I laugh bitterly, a bit cruelly. "Detention again?" I taunt. "As if that even fucking matters right now!" Both Daphne and McGonagall shout my name. "What? It's not as if cursing is the worst thing to happen in this castle, why are you—"

"Two weeks for you, Rodgers," McGonagall interrupts, her lips thin, her nostrils flared.

Another cold laugh breaks through me. "With all that Voldemort is doing to me, do you really think that I care about a fucking detention? You're smarter than that, Professor. Really, you are."

She glances at Daphne. "Greengrass, you're free to go back to your dormitory."

Daphne exhales and rushes out of the room, and once she's gone, McGonagall takes a step closer to me and looks down her nose at me in what would've once been a crushing and intimidating thing to do, but this time I don't care. I'm too angry to care, so I keep my head held high, my jaw squared, my eyes on hers. "Planning to give me detention for the next month rather than a simple two weeks, Professor?" I ask innocently.

"Twenty points from Slytherin, and yes, I believe I will add to your detentions."

"Well, some of those days won't do for me, actually. I'll be called back to Malfoy Manor for the duration of the last weekend of every month." She falters. Apparently she still doesn't like it when I discuss this. "So, if you were planning to make me serve detention any time during—"

"Is—"

"I don't believe it's safe for me to discuss this further with you, Professor. Now if you'd be so kind, I believe it's passed curfew and I should be getting back to the dungeons."

"Rodgers—"

"I will wait for your permission to leave."

"Rodgers—"

"And you should probably know that there will probably be serious consequences if the Carrows find me in here, especially with you of all people, so I don't suggest keeping me much longer."

Her lips thin even more—something I would have doubted possible had I not just seen it—before she says, "Leave. Your detentions will begin tomorrow."

Daphne does not so much as look at me when we walk together for our detentions the next day, but she still whispers angrily, "Why did you do speak to her like that? We could've simply—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You can't keep avoiding all conversations, Charlotte, and I think you know that."

"I can keep avoiding it for now though."

"Charlotte—"

"Daphne, I've been through hell, and I'm trying to stop it from happening to anyone I care about because I couldn't live with myself if I caused pain to any of you."

"You're causing them pain by shutting them out."

Tears burn my eyes. "But what I'm doing will spare you all from worse."

She pats my shoulder when I knock on McGonagall's classroom door. We enter moments later. "Evening," the professor greets us. She stands and comes toward us. "Greengrass, you will be cleaning Professor Flitwick's classroom." She waves her wand, and a bucket and sponge appear. Then she hands them off to Daphne. "Rodgers, you will be cleaning my classroom."

"Can I switch with Daphne?"

"Rodgers."

"Fine." I snatch the bucket and sponge from her, and Daphne quickly dodges out of the room, leaving me alone with McGonagall.

"Give me your wand." I acquiesce. The professor watches me closely. "You can clean the entire classroom, Charlotte, or you can sit down with me and talk to me about what's happened."

I clench my jaw, spin on my heel, and make my way to the back of her classroom where I slap the bucket down and begin cleaning the tables. McGonagall takes her place behind her desk. Nearly eight minutes later, the professor calmly says, "More happened to you than you've let on."

I ignore her and continue scrubbing down the tables.

"The last time I saw you—prior to your arrival at Hogwarts with Snape before the term started—it was immediately following what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did to you, and despite your panicked, fragile mental state, you were relatively fine. I helped you to Miss Accrington's flat"—I inhale sharply—"and did not see you again. You arrived here with a drastic change."

"I have to serve my detention, Professor, but no one said anything about me having to speak with you."

"But you can listen."

I huff but continue my work. I shouldn't have had to serve this detention. Had Daphne not interrupted me, I would have made it to Severus's office, had my conversation with him, and sneaked back to the Slytherin Dungeon before anyone was the wiser. Now, instead, I'm trapped in McGonagall's office, forced to listen to her ramble on about what might be wrong with me. If I'd wanted to speak with her about it, I would've come to her and actually said something to her. I would not have avoided her.

"I did some investigating to see what might've become of you from the time you came here distraught to the time you arrived here jaded and angry."

"And how did that go for you?" The sarcastic answer spews out of me before I can stop it. I clench my jaw and continue scrubbing.

"I sent an owl to Miss Accrington but received no reply."

I choke on my breath.

"So I then sent an owl to Madam Rosmerta. I believe she employed Miss Accrington, correct?"

I thrust the sponge into bucket of water, growing irrationally angry when the water splashes me but managing to keep it bottled up.

"And Madam Rosmerta informed me that Miss Accrington has not shown up for her shifts in over a month and that she cannot find her anywhere."

"Is that so?" I snap. "Perhaps you should be more focused on the students at Hogwarts rather than those who've already graduated and are most likely never going to come into contact with you again. Perhaps if you put as much effort into helping the students here, there wouldn't be as many Cruciatus Curses used on the students in the Carrows' classrooms. Perhaps that same curse would not be used in detentions. But that's just my suggestion."

McGonagall sets her quill aside, matching my angry gaze and refusing to back down. "I do my best to protect the students here."

"And yet you've spent so much free time digging into what might've happened to Zoe."

"So something did happen to her then."

I look away and continue cleaning the table in front of me.

"What happened, Charlotte? She was a Muggle-born. Did she register as a Muggle-born?"

I pick up the bucket and move onto the next table.

"Rodgers, are you acting this way because something happened to her?"

"Stop."

"Was she hurt? Have the Death Eaters threatened her? We can get someone to get her out of here for a while. We can send her away until You-Know-Who has been stopped. Just explain to me what's happened so that I might help."

With a short shout, I thrust the buck onto the floor. The water splashes on the stone, soaking my feet, spreading across the area quickly. "Let it go, Professor! This isn't something we need to discuss."

"Oh, I believe it is. I believe it's at the very core of what's wrong with you."

"Shut up."

"Rodgers—"

"SHUT UP!" The sponge flies from my hand—my heart stops briefly as I release it—and manages, just barely, not to smack her in the face. It lands on her desk in front of her.

McGonagall stands to her feet, but I'm not intimidated. "Madam Rosmerta expressed to me her fear that Zoe had been taken captive or worse—killed. I believe you know what happened to her, and I believe—"

"Shut up! You don't know anything, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"Rodgers, you cannot face this alone. If Zoe Accrington is dead, and you need—"

The table beneath my hand splits in half, its two pieces clattering to the stone floor. "Stop saying her name!" I cry, holding my midsection and bending over to contain some of the familiar pain coursing through me. "Stop saying her name!"

"Rodgers—"

"I don't want to talk about it," I say quietly, moving toward the bucket sitting in the middle of the floor.

"If you just—"

The door to the classroom flies open, and Alecto storms in with her wand drawn. Her eyes drift from the mess on the floor, to the broken table, to me who stands next to the empty bucket, and up to McGonagall, who has yet to draw a wand to defend herself. "Miss Rodgers, I sincerely hope this Gryffindor is not bothering you."

I huff angrily, unable to hold back my emotions. Of course McGonagall is pissing me off. She wouldn't drop the subject of Zoe, and now look where we are.

"I'll take that as a yes. Shall I ensure she doesn't do it again?"

"That won't—" I stop short when I see Alecto's cold smile. Whatever I say won't stop this, and when she raises her wand at McGonagall, I make a split-second decision that I immediately regret. The Cruciatus Curse meant for Professor McGonagall strikes me in the chest, and I collapse to the floor, shrieking.

A moment too late Alecto registers what's done, and she drops the curse. "Miss Rodgers—"

"Get out. Get out now or I tell the Dark Lord what you've done."

"You jumped in the way—"

"And who do you think he'll believe?" I ask, pulling myself to my feet. "You or me?" Definitely her, but there's no way that she'd know that.

"I'm—"

"GET OUT!"

Alecto dashes from the room.

I stand there for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to contain my anger; then, in a fit of rage, I kick the overturned bucket as hard as I can, sending it flying across the room and smacking loudly against the wall. I bend over, bracing myself on my knees, and stare at the bucket where it falls to the floor.

McGonagall comes forward as if to check on me, but I straighten and throw my hand up at her. "Don't."

She still continues toward me. "Rodgers, are you—"

"I didn't do it for you," I growl, though that's a total lie. "I did it to have blackmail on Alecto."

"Are you—"

She gets too close to me, and without thinking, I yell, "Don't touch me!" and shove her backward. She catches herself on her desk. "Stay away from me! Stay the fuck away from me, don't touch me!"

Her lips become dangerously think, her nostrils flaring. "Fifty points from—"

"I DON'T CARE!" Tears stream down my cheeks. "Give me back my wand. This detention is over."

We stare at one another for a few seconds in silence before she says, much calmer than I thought possible given the current situation, "Rodgers, I know you're hurting because of Zoe's—"

"Say her name again, and I myself will make sure you spend the rest of your life alongside those fucking Longbottoms in St. Mungo's, do I make myself clear?"

McGonagall, taken aback, pauses for a moment, and I reach around her to snatch my wand from her desk. She doesn't stop me when I leave her office, possibly because I took a Cruciatus Curse for her or possibly because of what I've just said to her.