Lisa's Wedding At a medieval fayre Lisa runs off after a rabbit and meets a fortune teller who shows her the future.
PlotThe Simpsons attend a medieval fayre.
Two knights are beating the crap out of each other. Cool!
The winning knight wielding a mace is Ned Flanders. "Well it looks like I'm the winner-dinner Neighbourino!" said Ned. Everyone except Homer cheered him on.
"Stupid medieval Flanders..." Homer grumbled.
"Winner Winner! Chicken dinner!" said Oscar. "Mmmmmmm! Chicken..."
"Quiet boy." said Homer.
"Someone call a doctor..." Smithers, who was the losing knight, groaned.
"Well let me help you up Neighbourino!" said Nec kindly offering Smithers a hand.
"No mother, I'll have my eggs fried..." Smithers groaned stunned.
"Zounds! I did thee mightily smitely." said Knight Ned. ""Zounds" is a Renaissance English word, short for "God's wounds"... but "smitely," that's pure Flanders."
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP YOU INSUFFERABLE GEEK?!" Homer yelled.
"Daaaaad..." Lisa whined.
Bart was bored. "Renaissance fayres are so boring!"
"No they're not!" Oscar argued. "We got to watch Ned kick Smithers's ass!"
"Oscar language!" Marge told him off for cursing. "So renaissance festivals are boring huh?" She asked Bart. "Well look what's over here! A loom!"
There was a medieval loom in the tent nearby.
"I used to work on a loom at high school during Home Ed!" said Marge as she sat at the loom Woking on it.
Bart didn't care.
"And I was born from a loom!" said The Doctor.
"Oz no! You can't have the Doctor here..." said Bart groaning at his silly cameos.
Marge finished stitching something with the loom. "Look!" It was a sheet with the message "Look Bart! I'm using a loom!" Stitched in red letters on the cloth.
Bart groaned and rolled his eyes.
After Marge was finished and left the loom because Lisa had gone off somewhere. The Doctor sat down and operated the loom. Instead of stitching/weaving a message on a cloth sheet, the loom generated fully grown Time Lords.
"Oz..." Bart groaned.
...
Homer had a toffee apple/candy apple in his mouth as he was trying to copy the suckling pig as it spun around on a spit roast.
Lunch Lady Doris was cooking it and explained in Medieval English how it was cooked.
Homer wants some roasted pig that Lunch Lady Doris is cooking, but forgets to speak in character so she doesn't understand him. He then speaks in Medieval English so she understands him.
"Yon meat is as sweet as a summer's breeze." said Lunch Lady Doris.
"Can I have some?" Homer asked.
"My ears do not decipher your modern tongue my lord!" said Lunch Lady Doris.
"Sweet lady of the spit. Grant now my boon! That I may sup, on suckling pig this fine noon?" said Homer in Medieval English.
"The banquets at 12 o'clock..." she replied.
"Whatever." said Homer.
Homer is now eating a pig leg. The greedy sod!
He talked about how he felt he was genuinely a medieval gentleman. "I have eaten eight kinds of meat today. I truly am a medieval gentleman..."
"Hmmmmm... I'll warn the first aid tent to warm up the ye olde stomach pump..." Lisa sighed.
Lisa visits Wiggum's tent of monsters. However they're just a rabbit and a chicken with a rainbow wig stuck on its head.
"Behold the hall of monsters! A menagerie of terrifying beasts!" said Wiggum.
Lisa rolled her eyes when she saw a chicken with a rainbow coloured clown wig on its head.
"Alight your gaze yonder on these beasts of yore!" said Wiggum in Medieval English.
There was a terrifying roar of a monster.
"Fear me mortals! For a I am Yore! Bane of Brigadoom! Bringer of destruction! Master of sorrow!" said Yore from Dragon Quest IX Sentinels of the Starry Skies.
"Oh no!" said Celestian Oscar holding a falcon blade as a level 99 armentalist.
"It's over 9000!" said kid Vegeta. Yes I made Vegeta in my party because of the art style of Dragon Quest.
Chibi Washu from Tenchi Muyo laughed madly while mixing chemicals and wearing a science jacket.
"Washu we've been through this... You're a mage, not a mad scientist... that's not a vocation..." said Oscar groaning.
"Oooooooh! Helloooooo there handsome!" said Ricardo, my gay, Latino cleric/priest.
"Oz no!" Bart pushed the unexpected characters off screen.
Lisa sighed with relief.
"For example we have a two headed Hell Hound! Born with only one head!" Wiggum shows her an ordinary dog.
Lisa sighed exasperated at him.
"Aver here we have the extremely rare esquilax! A horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit. It was a rabbit...
The rabbit escapes so Lisa chases after it to retrieve it.
"It gallops away!" said Wiggum.
"Here rabbit! Here bunny bunny!" Lisa call to the rabbit.
"That's an esquilax." Wiggum corrected her.
The rabbit headed into a dark forest. As he ran he held a large pocket watch. "I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!" He recited.
"Oz no!" Bart whined.
However it leads her to a lonely tent in the middle of a spooky dark forest! Woooooooo!
Inside the tent was a young fortune teller scrying with her crystal ball.
"Welcome Lisa." said the fortune teller.
"How did you know my name if I haven't told you it?" Lisa asked.
"It's written on your name tag." said the fortune teller.
"Oh."
The fortune teller offers to tell her the future.
"Uh Sorry, no offence but I don't believe in fortune telling." said Lisa. Despite doing weird rituals at sleep overs with candle wax and summoning Bloody Mary for a laugh.
"Oh what's the rush? Marge, Maggie and Bart are enjoying the festival and Homer is heckling the puppet show. We have all the time in the world to divine the cards. said the fortune teller laying out the tarot cards.
We cut to Homer heckling a Punch and Judy puppet show. "You suck!" He yells at the puppets.
"Homer! Sssssh!" Oscar hushes him. "Sit down and stop embarrassing yourself!"
"Oz! That show if for babies! Grow up man!" Bart whined when he found Oscar watching a Punch and Judy puppet show. Mmmmmmm... domestic violence with puppets...
Lisa reluctantly agrees to have her fortune read.
She offers Lisa to pick a tarot card.
Lisa picks the Death card. She gasps in horror as it's a bad card. "Oh no!"
"Aaaaaaaagh! Deeeeeeath!" Grampa yelled popping out from the gypsy's cabinet.
Lisa winced.
However the fortune teller explains the card can mean change in general. It doesn't always mean death. She offers Lisa to draw another card.
Lisa gets one with a cartoon squirrel on it. "Awww! The Happy squirrel!" Lisa thinks this card is a good card.
However the fortune teller gasps and explains it can also mean something bad, but the cards are tricky sometimes.
She then tells Lisa her future.
...
In the far future tin men roam America. Actually it's just a Wizard of Oz audition. A hologram tree malfunctions so a student kicks the hologram projector to get it working properly.
Meanwhile Lisa, now a college student is having difficulty with another student who is getting to things she requires before her, leaving her left out. E.G Buying the last veggie popsicle from the vending machine, not holding the elevator open for her and finally taking out the only copy of a book she needs for her essay.
Lisa muttered as the boy got the last veggie popsicle and didn't hold the elevator for her.
"You are the most irritating-! I need that book!" Lisa rants at him.
"Well, we'll just have to share then, won't we?" The British student replies. They read the book together. Lisa boasts she read the entry for their class faster than he did. So he tests her. Suddenly they start snogging.
"I don't get it! One moment they hated each other, now they love each other!" says the librarian.
"Of course you don't. You're a robot." A teacher replies.
The robot librarian cries which causes her to malfunction and catch fire. Her head melts.
"Not again!" a scientist with a fire extinguisher groans as he puts out the burning robot.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar. He was now an art student at the college.
...
Lisa is invited to see the British Student's family as they start dating.
In England Big Ben has a digital clock. The Hilton hotel is now the Benny Hilton and police have been replaced with Daleks!
"Littering is a crime! Those that litter will be exterminated!" chanted the Daleks.
Hugh drove Lisa about England in a hover car.
"I never met anyone who so understood the magic of Jim Carrey. He can make you laugh with no more than a frantic flailing of his limbs." said Lisa.
"And his rubber face." said Hugh Parkview.
"Yes." said Lisa.
"I can't believe how much we have in common. We're studying the environment, we're utterly humorless about vegetarianism." said Lisa.
"Well I'm humorous about vegetarianism..." said Oscar. "Oh look a balanced meal of vegetables! No meat for me! I'm eating like a cow!"
Lisa frowned.
"And we both love the Rolling Stones." said Hugh.
"Yes. Not for their music but for their tireless efforts... to preserve historic buildings." said Lisa.
"Lisa, I can't bear being apart all summer. Come with me to Parkfield Manor." said Hugh.
"I'd love to." saud Lisa.
"Can we get vegetarian meals at your parents' house?" Lisa asked.
"Yes, we can, Lisa." said Hugh. "Apparently I'm you're ideal boyfriend for I too am vegetarian and I love jazz!"
"Ooooooh!" Lisa sighed.
...
Lisa is at Hugh's mansion.
"Beautiful dinnerware, Mrs. Parkfield." said Lisa.
"Thank you. They were made for the finest family in Britain. I don't know how we ended up with them." said Hugh's mother.
"Should I laugh? Was that dry British wit or subtle self-pity? They're staring at me. Better respond." Lisa thought in monologue. She laughed out loud.
"It's good to hear a boisterous American laugh." said Hugh's father.
"And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I'd say 17th century." saud Lisa.
She sees a painting of what must be a long dead ancestor of the family only to find he is still alive and is just eccentric and drunk which is why he dresses in old fashioned clothes.
"No that's just Uncle Eldred. It was painted last year." said Hugh's mother.
"I get my health on the National Health!" he said drunk or insane while trying to catch goldfish from a goldfish bowl with a fishing rod...
Lisa winced.
Meanwhile a few years back in the present at the renaissance festival.
"Why do you Americans have renaissance festivals? You never had a medieval times!" said Oscar to Hugo who got out of the attic some how.
"Oz. Most people who live in America had ancestors who came over here from Ellis Island. IE barring native Americans or red indians, we're all descended from European ancestors. So yes we do have a medieval times in our history you wally brain!" said Hugo. "Only the Natives didn't have a Medieval times."
"Hugo don't bore him with education..." Bart groaned.
Hugo rolled his eyes.
They sat down.
"Any way this festival sucks... nothing exciting ever happens at these festivals..." said Bart.
Plot 2In the background Peter Griffin is being chased by the Black Knight.
"Aaaagh! Agghhh! I'm sorry!" He cried as he ran.
"I told you, stay away from from my girl!" The Black Knight yelled as he chased Peter brandishing a sword.
"She asked me to shove a goose up her skirt! Your broad is crazy!" said Peter as the Black Knight chased him.
Bart winced.
...
Lisa then calls her family to announce she's coming over with her new boyfriend.
Marge and Homer are now quite old. Ie wrinkles and hair going grey.
Bart works as a demolition expert driving the wrecking ball. Unfortunately Miley Cyrus keeps riding on the wrecking balls naked and singing Wrecking Ball.
Maggie is a gossipy teenager. However we never actually get to hear her talk because she keeps getting interrupted.
"..."
"Oh Lisa's calling!" said Marge.
Maggie frowned.
Marge is reminding Lisa of British terms for things.
"Remember an elevator is a lift, Brits drive on the left and botulism is steak and kidney pie." Mmmmm! Deadly pie...
Lisa has to remind her mother how video phones work.
Lisa and her boyfriend/fiancé get a taxi home but the driver is Mayor Quimby!
"Hey aren't you former Mayor Quimby?" Lisa asked the driver.
"I errr... no! I am Mohammed Jafar!" said Quimby.
"No you're not! I am! You pathetic street rat!" said Jafar sharing a taxi with Lisa and Hugh.
"Hey Quimby, after those customers are dropped off get your indicted ass back to the office!" said Otto as his boss.
Bart and Homer put up a Union Jack flag for Lisa's British boyfriend to welcome him.
"And me. I'm British too. Oooooh sweet Britannia..." said Oscar saluting his flag.
"Um yes. Limey boy..." said Homer.
"Yank..." Oscar retorted.
Lisa and Hugh arrived.
"Hi dad!"
"Hey sweetie!" said Homer. "Look Hugh! Here's a warm welcome from America!" Homer hoisted up the Union Jack flag.
However it accidentally catches fire.
"Dad!" Lisa yelled.
Hugh was horrified and insulted.
"What have you done?!" Oscar is outraged.
Homer and Bart put it out by stamping on it and putting soil on it. Lisa's boyfriend is not impressed with his reception so far...
"Nor am I! What is wrong with you?!" Oscar yelled at Homer. "You have insulted my beloved homeland!"
Homer groaned.
...
Homer tries to use the house phone, but it's engaged.
"D'oh! Maggie! Won't that girl ever shut up?!" Homer yells.
Upstairs Maggie is on the phone to someone and rolling her eyes as she can hear Homer's remark.
Meanwhile Bart is working as a demolition expert. Nelson is his boss.
However The Rolling Stones are protesting at a historical building.
"oh no... Mick Jagger..." Bart groaned.
Then Oscar keeps dying in this episode like Kenny.
He ate a steak and kidney pie and died of botulism.
"Mmmmm! Deadly pie..."
Soon it's dinner time.
"What's for dinner sweetie?" Homer asked.
"Soylent green." said Marge. Yes Soylent green!
"That's people!" Oscar clone 2 yelled.
At dinner.
Bart mentions his day at work.
"As well as demolishing buildings, I crush cars into cubes and I hold tough guy tests of strength during lunch breaks and I eat fish logs."
Lisa talks about his boyfriend. Marge thinks it's sweet and hopes they get married one day.
Lisa invites Maggie out to pick a dress.
"-" Maggie mumbles with her mouthful but Marge quickly interrupts.
"Maggie! Don't speak with your mouthful!" Marge told off teenaged Maggie.
Maggie rolled her eyes.
"Lisa my dear. You prepared me for the worst. As long as they're not squatting in a ditch... poking berries up their noses, I'm sure your family are wonderful people." said Hugh holding Lisa's hands.
"Oscar! Don't shove food up your nose!" Marge yelled.
Oscar was stuffing berries up his nose.
Lisa winced.
...
Things still are awkward as Homer had to hastily build an extra bedroom illegally for Lisa and her boyfriend.
"If anyone asks, it's a flower box for the window, a really big flower box..."
In the morning the floor to the illegally built bedroom collapses under Lisa's Boyfriend's feet and he falls into the compost pile.
"Hugh! Are you okay?!" Lisa cried.
"Yes... fortunately this compost heap broke my fall. Of course I shall need a bath immediately..." said Hugh.
...
In the present Oscar goes to the bathroom and jogs the Black Knight while he's shaving his er helmet...
He swears.
"Oh gee! I'm so sorry!" said Oscar.
"That's okay little boy. 'Tis only a flesh wound..." said the Black Knight.
"Yaaaaaay! He said it!" Oscar cheered with confetti and party blowers etc. Bart face palmed.
"Anyway I must be going." said the Black Knight as he wiped shaving cream off of his helmet.
"Erm, is this the men's room? Oh god is everyone's gone? I can't be doing with the wet towel slapping and shenanigans!" said Jurkle wearing a towel.
"Jurkle stop being a wimp..." Oscar groaned.
"I can't help that! I'm a stereotypical Jewish nerd!" said Jurkle.
"Why can't you be a cool Jew like Mr Bergstrom?" Oscar asked.
"I don't know. Oh will someone rub my foul smelling ointment on my back?" Jurkle asked.
"Uh no!" said Oscar.
...
Bart and Homer take Lisa's boyfriend to Moe's.
The news is on.
"This is Kent Brockman with breaking news! The following celebrities have been arrested." There are names running quickly up the screen. "Heather Locklear Fortensky is still at large." Oh my god! Mad celebrities on the loose again!
"British uh? You know we saved your ass in World War II?" Moe remarks.
"Well we saved your ass in World War III." Lisa's boyfriend replies.
"Touché." Moe replies realising he has a point.
However Bart and Homer while playing virtual reality sports start fighting each other because Homer accidentally threw virtual darts at Bart.
"Hey! No fighting in my bar!" Moe tells them off before setting off something that causes them excruciating pain and a high pitched noise.
...
Lisa's boyfriend takes her out on a romantic day out to woo her into marrying him.
He has sheep with messages but a wolf ate one. So he calls his robot assistants to light up a board of tiny bulbs that have a message. "Lisa will you marry me?"
"Oh yes! I will Hugh!" said Lisa.
His robot assistants cry and malfunction with the flames and melting heads again. (There sure are a lot of melting heads in this story... - Lisa.)
...
Eventually Lisa and her boyfriend decide to get married.
That night at dinner, Maggie talks with her mouthful.
"Maggie! Don't talk with your mouth full!" Marge tells her off. Maggie rolls her eyes rudely in response.
...
At School all the teachers are invited to Lisa's wedding. (Ugh! Teacher's pet...).
"It must be Lisa because the only other student with straight As is Martin who tragically died in that science lab explosion." Ms Hoover explained to Skinner.
However in a cave far below the school is Martin wearing a mask over half his face at an organ.
"Not quite dead my lady love. Although sometimes I wish I had." said Martin. He then started playing a fifth of Beethoven on the organ.
Around Springfield we see how it has changed with time. Homer's boss is now Milhouse.
When he finds out Lisa is getting married to someone other than himself he begins taking his jealousy out on Homer and docks his pay.
Homer whined.
Smithers at in a laboratory when he is invited to Lisa's wedding with a plus one.
"There is only one person I want to take... Oh Mr Burns hopefully we'll find the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back." Mr Burns was in a glass coffin being monitored by scientists.
"Et tu?" said Brutus a Roman soldier.
One of the scientists monitoring Mr Burns and studying him was... James Bouvier! Marge's evil brother from Erik Nikolaz's continuity!
"Why is he helping revive that monster Mr Burns?!" Future Oscar ranted.
"Uh..." said Erik.
At home Lisa and Marge are drinking tea when the lights flicker.
"Oh there goes Oscar... Why did he have to commit another ten murders..." Marge sighed. Uh he got the chair...
The clone generator makes a another Oscar.
"Ow that smarts! And that was uncalled for electrocuting me for shooting all those Todd clones..." Oscar whined.
...
At the wedding all of the residents of Springfield arrive. Mr Burns has been revived after Professor Frink froze him until a cure for seventeen stab wounds to the back was found. However he's not been properly thawed so when Smithers accidentally drops him he shatters like glass.
Oscar laughed.
Patty has something to say to Edna. "Edna, you get in the way of that bouquet and I'll stuff that sunhat down your neck!"
...
Meanwhile Homer visits Lisa before the wedding and offers her silly cufflinks.
He babbles on and on. "Lisa you were always so independent and wise, even changing your own diapers..."
"Dad your babbling again."
He does the same with her fiancé. However her fiancé doesn't want to wear them so he visits Lisa before the wedding, despite it being bad luck and complains about it and that he always intended her to live in England with him.
Lisa however wants to still be able to see her family so when he explains she'll have to cut them off, she's horrified.
...
Maggie is due up to sing. Dr Hibbert comments about her singing range to an elderly Krusty.
However before she can sing Lisa stops the wedding and explains she and British dude won't be getting married after all. The wedding is off.
Nelson and Nelson Jr laugh. "Haw! Haw!"
Plot 3The image to the future ends as present Lisa finds herself back in the fortune teller's tent.
"That's it?! My first love ditches me at the altar?!" Lisa asks, unhappy with her sad future.
"Yes I'm afraid so. Now I must go now." The fortune teller replies. She throws down a smoke bomb as a distraction while laughing evilly, but realises she can't magically vanish during the distraction there's an awkward silence.
"I'll be going now..." Lisa says awkwardly as she leaves. She finds the runaway bunny rabbit and reunites with her dad after he has gone to find her at some point during the fayre and was in the middle of calling for her.
"Dad!" Lisa calls happily.
"Oh there you are! I was wondering where you got to! Found anything fun?" Homer asks.
"Not really. How about you?" Lisa asks.
Homer describes as the credits roll all the things he did that day. Including eating lots of fudge and riding on a ride.
"And then I got sick and had to rest but then rode those tea cups again."
Lisa sighed.
Elsewhere at the Medieval fair or fayre. Nelson pushed Oscar over.
"Haw Haw!"
"Hey, back off!" Oscar yelled.
Bart was nervous. "Oz... that's Nelson..."
Oh, I'm so scared! Get him, Teddy!" Oscar summoned Teddy, one of his cartoon monsters.
Bart sweated exasperated.
Oscar then summoned Clownja, and another silly cartoon monster and another.
"Oz your monsters are weird..." said Bart.
"They're not weird, they're my best friends!" Oscar yelled.
...
In the future.
The mad celebrities that have been arrested!
The Baldwin Brothers Gang!
Who were sworn enemies of the Tom Brokaw clones!
Dr Brad Pitt! Yes he's a doctor in this future! XD!
John John John Kennedy! He was then shot by Lee Harvey Oswald IV.
George Burns.
Infamous Amos! Wally Amos the cookie guy behind Famous Amos cookies!
The Artist Formally Known as Prince. Yes Prince!
Tim Allen Jr!
Senator Payne.
Mrs Dracula! XD!
"Mom! Why?!" Future Ace whined.
Several Madonnabots. Series K.
Sideshow Ralph Wiggum! XD!
Martha Hitler!
Jurkle winced.
Dr Demento! More on him in a sec.
And some guy called Johnny Neutrino.
Future Bart and Oscar winced exasperated as they listened to the news at Moe's.
They decided to head home.
...
Bart and Oscar rushed home while fleeing Mrs Dracula or something.
Bart has a gash on his head.
"How'd you get that gash?" asked Lisa.
"When we hid in the Dumpster... after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic-magazine warehouse." said Bart.
Lisa frowned at him doing something seedy.
"Oh and Oscar dumped his stupid Clownjas in the dumpster too..." said Bart.
"They're not stupid! They're cute!" Oscar yelled.
Bart sighed.
In the present, at the Medieval Fayre.
"Lisa! Where have you been?" Marge asked.
Before Lisa could explain they heard shrill maniacal laughter.
Dr Demento arrived laughing, He clobbered the Simpsons and Oscar with a toon's wooden mallet.
Lisa sighed. "Why do you hate us so much..."
"Because it's fun!" Dr Demento replied. Chuckling.
The Simpsons continued about the fayre despite Dr Demento hurling fruit at them and singing the fish heads song.
Martin was dressed in a green medieval or Tudor outfit with a sugarloaf hat on playing his lute. Well he was playing until Nelson ran up to him and punched him hard in the gut.
Martin groaned winded.