EmilyCMalfoy: Thanks for reviewing! I think they'd be really sweet too, and yeah that sounds like a Pokemon name for sure. But I don't think Charlotte is really considering anything like that right now. She's pretty preoccupied with the troubles in her life at the moment. I love all the little scenes between Draco and Charlotte. Well, I'm writing and editing it, so it can become really overwhelming, especially with everything else that's going on right now

Ldub: Thanks for reviewing! There were some parts of the story that I couldn't get to fit the way I wanted without trashing A LOT of the original, and I spent a long time trying to work through it, to the point that I got discouraged because it felt like it was going to be way too much to get done in a couple of days. I feel much better about it now and don't care that I trashed those parts of the original. It really helps that you're such an encouraging fan! I really appreciate it

Hawknest143: Thanks for reviewing! It made me sad too to think about all that she missed out on because of Voldemort. It pains me as well; Charlotte deserves some happiness

Krazyasibe: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed catching up! I hope you enjoy the rest of it just as much!

dalsia: Thanks for following and favoriting!

Kind blue: Thanks for following and favoriting!

Thanks for the patience these past few days! I should have the next chapter up on Sunday or Monday

CHAPTER 29

It's not until we're eating breakfast in Severus's chambers the next morning (I woke up to find him asleep on the sofa with his neck oddly contorted, the desk nowhere to be found) that I tell him I will be gone two weekends next month because Mum wants to spend my birthday weekend with me and Voldemort surprisingly agreed to let her.

Severus sets his drink aside. We're eating the same food being served in the Great Hall at this very moment. "I know. The Carrows and I got word from the Dark Lord. You're supposed to Apparate to Malfoy Manor shortly after dinner that Friday, and then come back here late Sunday night."

"Right. I doubt he would have, but did he tell you why he's changed his mind about me spending so much time with her? I mean…has he told anyone about my reluctance to serve him? Bellatrix says that he still believes she can turn me, but does anyone else know about that?"

"No, he hasn't said, but I assume that's because he doesn't want his Inner Circle to know that a young witch is rebelling against him. The others who have begun to shy away—the Malfoys, for instance—might gather the courage they need in order to completely turn away from him."

I clear my throat. "So…so, has he said anything else then?"

"He told me to keep a close watch on you, the Carrows to make you more comfortable here at Hogwarts, Bellatrix to convince you that this is not as bad as it seems, and Narcissa and Draco to keep their mouths shut about your trepidation concerning your duty."

"But he let me spend the day with Draco. Why would he do that if he fears that Draco and his parents are going to turn against him?"

"He was probably hoping to use that as a tactic to make you more compliant. Last time, you spent the day with your father as a form of mental torture. I believe he was hoping that through granting you an easy day, you would not fight against him."

"He puts too much hope in me being compliant."

Severus smirks.

I go back to my meal, unsure whether I should broach the subject of Christmas now or later. I choose later because I don't want to ask too much of him right now, but he watches me quizzically for a moment before swallowing down another gulp of his orange juice and saying, "There's obviously something you want to ask me, Charlotte, so go ahead."

I look up at him, my cheeks warm. "I know that I am to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays, but I was hoping that I could go with Christopher Collins—the second-year—to his house and spend the holiday with him and his family."

He looks almost relieved at my request. "I believe it's necessary for you to get away from this place, even if only for a few days. You need to be able to live as normal a life as you can. If that means going to spend the Christmas holidays with a friend of yours, then so be it." I smile broadly at him. "Just come back here before you go to Malfoy Manor. Let the Carrows catch a glimpse of you."

"So come back the day after Christmas?"

"Yes."

A relieved laugh bubbles through me. "Thank you, Professor." I reach across the table and place my hand on his forearm, then rest my head on my arm, still laughing, not having felt this much relief in quite a long time. "Thank you so much." I release him and lean back in my chair, unable to rein in the smile on my face. I'll be spending a few weeks away from this prison.

Zoe flashes through my mind, and I immediately deflate. Had Voldemort not ruined everything, I'd be spending Christmas with her, exchanging gifts with her, enjoying the season with her. But now she's gone.

"Charlotte?" Severus asks kindly, his voice concerned.

"It's nothing," I sigh.

He seems reluctant to push me for a real answer, and our conversation dies due to my inability to take my mind off Zoe. The headmaster does not so much as ask me a single question when I crawl onto the sofa and turn my back toward him. Nearly ten minutes later he lays a blanket over me and places his hand on my shoulder. "I won't tell you that the pain goes away, but it gets easier." Then he leaves and goes to his office.

I try to forget Zoe's honey eyes and her gorgeous smile. I try to forget the awful dead weight of her body when I tried to hold her close and plead life back into her after Voldemort took her from me. I try to forget the aching in my chest, the feeling that something is simply missing from me, that a part of me is gone forever and will never return.

It doesn't work, and eventually that pain and my tears drag me into sleep.

Severus wakes me up for lunch and forces me to eat, then gives me no choice but to go to class because I've missed so many already as it is. I obey him acquiescently even though earlier he'd said I could hide in here. I guess that didn't apply to all day, unfortunately.

My day is spent blankly going through the motions, but at dinner when I see Christopher, a smile lightens my heart. I can tell him the good news about Christmas. I fight the urge to run ahead of Daphne, who is walking with me to the Great Hall. "You suddenly seem happier. Is there someone in the hall you can't wait to see? Have you found another—"

"I have good news for Christopher."

"You're going to his place for Christmas, aren't you?"

"Is that jealously I hear in your voice, Miss Greengrass?"

She grins at me. "I'm happy for you."

Daphne and I take seats beside one another, across from the second-years, and I grin at Christopher, not speaking, not blinking, trying to get him to speak with me before I tell him the news. He pretends to ignore me for the first few minutes, but his eyes continue to drift up and meet mine. Each time he forces himself to look away. His eating slows, eventually stopping altogether, and he clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably, looking to the others as if hoping to get some help. His eyes linger on Daphne, but she offers him no assistance, and finally he clears his throat loudly. "I…um…have I…er…hi, Charlotte," he stutters. "You're…um…making me…well, uncomfortable. Is…could you…I don't know…stop staring?"

"I have good news for you."

"You're going to stop staring?"

"That, and I can go to your place for Christmas."

His blue eyes light up as if I've just given him the world. "Seriously?" he asks.

"Seriously."

Christopher's smile is plastered to his face for the rest of the meal, and the world actually feels slightly more okay.

That night before curfew I go to McGonagall's office to forewarn her about my unscheduled leaving next month. When I take a seat in front of her desk, she asks me if I'm all right, to which I of course have to say yes because how am I supposed to tell her that Voldemort beats me and tortures me when I fight against him? How would I ever be able to burden her with that knowledge?

"There's something I need to tell you, Professor. Bellatrix has requested that I spend time with her for my birthday, and the Dark Lord has granted permission. Next month I will be gone the last two weekends. He believes she can persuade me to appreciate my duty."

She shakes her head. It's almost as if she has completely forgotten or forgiven the way I was acting earlier this term. "Does Bellatrix really believe you will ever be persuaded to appreciate that?"

Before I have the chance to answer, there's a loud knock at the door, and McGonagall calls for the intruder to enter. The intruder ends up being intruders by the names of Amycus and Alecto. "Miss Rodgers," Alecto says, "Snape said you might be in here."

"I have my reasons," I say. "And if he knows I'm in here, then I'm allowed to be in here."

"He's more than explained why you spend time with this…Gryffindor," Amycus says.

I should probably talk to Severus about this. "So why are you here?"

"We need you to come with us," Amycus states.

"Why?"

"We are not required to answer your questions," Alecto says. "But you are required to come with us."

I sigh and give McGonagall an apologetic smile before leaving her office with the Carrows. "What's this about?" I say as we walk through Hogwarts.

"This is not about you speaking with the Gryffindor. This is about Dumbledore's Army and the information you have given us, or rather the lack thereof." He looks over at me. "That has to change. We can no longer be kept in the dark."

"So…what? You're going to torture me for information?"

"Of course not," Alecto says. "The Dark Lord has demanded your comfort. We would not go against him in such a way."

"I was just wondering."

We stop at Alecto's office, and they usher me inside. Despite how hard I try, I cannot completely calm myself. I don't trust them pulling me aside like this. They lead me to the seat in front of the desk, and Amycus forces me to sit. Alecto takes the seat across from me behind the desk, and Amycus sits next to me, too close to me for my liking if I'm being honest. The sister hands me a bottle of butterbeer. "Drink up," she says. They both open a bottle of their own.

I take the lid off and begin drinking. Although I have not been subjected to it in a while, I know the feeling of Veritaserum as it attempts to take over my mind. Little do they know that I can fight of the effects of the potion. These bastards are trying to pry information out of me. How dare they. I'll have to tell Severus about this. I'm sure he'll find it interesting, if not amusing. And suspicious. "So what do you want to ask me?"

"We need names of the students who are in Dumbledore's Army," Alecto replies.

"Well, I only know of three at the moment. Besides myself, of course."

"Who?" Amycus quickly asks.

"Well, the three that I know of are Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom." I'll have to warn them that I've named the three of them. But they're the most outspoken against the Carrows, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise to the twins.

"Do you know how they all communicate with one another?" Alecto asks.

"No, whenever they want to speak with me, they catch me in the corridors."

"Who are the leaders?" Amycus asks.

"Oh, I have no idea," I say as innocently as I possibly can. "I don't think anyone really knows. The positions are blurred. There is no leader, other than rebellion itself." I continue drinking the butterbeer, acting as if completely unaware of the Veritaserum they are attempting to drug me with.

"You're positive?" Alecto says.

"Completely."

"Are you willingly serving the Dark Lord?" Amycus asks.

"Of course I am, what kind of question is that?"

"No doubts about serving him?" Alecto interjects.

"No, why are you asking? I was chosen. I'm pretty proud of my position."

Amycus switches topics quickly. "How old were you when you learned of your duty?"

I want to keep asking them why they want to know these things, but if I were truly under the effects of the Veritaserum, then I wouldn't be able. "I was ten."

"You were in the orphanage?" Alecto shifts closer to me.

"It was the reason I left."

"Can you describe what you looked like back then?" Amycus folds his arms.

"Black hair, blue eyes, pale. I don't really know what you want me to say… I mean I looked like a younger, more innocent version of myself now." Yes, Severus must definitely hear about this strange interrogation. Except I'm afraid it will no longer be amusing. He might be as frustrated and concerned as I am right now.

For the next hour they force me to answer their questions, going back to trying to get me to tell them more about Dumbledore's Army even though I claim to have no idea. They eventually just accept my lies, probably due to the Veritaserum they think they cleverly gave me. When I stand to leave, Alecto quickly says, "You'll make sure the Dark Lord knows how we're treating you? That we're doing our best to make your stay here at Hogwarts more tolerable?"

I smile, biting back my mocking laughter. "I'll put in a good word for you. You've both been incredibly kind to me, and I'll make sure he knows that." I offer Alecto a kind look. "And I'll never tell him about the Cruciatus Curse mishap, no worries there." I have to dodge out of the office before they realize that I could not care less about their standing with Voldemort.

And I know exactly where I'm going—the Headmaster's Tower.

I throw the door open unannounced, laughing, "They just interrogated me using Veritaserum!" All of the portraits turn to me, and I pause in my tracks. Severus seems irritated by something, and I suddenly fear that he's irritated with me. "I…I…" I shouldn't have just burst into the office. We might be on good terms now, but I doubt this is something he's keen to.

The silence lingers for a few moments before he finally clears his throat and says, "What's happened?"

"The Carrows. They just interrogated me about the D.A. They spiked my butterbeer with Veritaserum. I can come back later, I'm sorry."

Severus walks away from where he had previously been standing by one of the portraits. I believe his name is Phineas; Dumbledore reprimanded him when he had gotten upset about Severus using the Imperius Curse against me. "What did you do?"

"I resisted the effects. You taught me well. I'm just curious, Professor, under whose authority were they given the right to use Veritaserum against me?"

"You don't honestly think I did that, do you?"

"No," I quickly say. "But have you heard anything? I mean, I'm fairly certain the Dark Lord wouldn't advise them to use it, seeing as he knows I have been taught Occlumency."

The headmaster seems to contemplate what I have just said. "I've gotten no word about them using Veritaserum."

"That's what I figured," I say. Then I walk toward the wall, toward the portrait of Phineas, watching him closely and trying to figure out why he seems just as upset as Severus does, then spin back around to face Severus when I realize that I should voice my thoughts to him. "But I don't understand." He crosses his arms over his chest, watching me. "How would they get the potion? It's not like either of them are competent enough in Potions to make it themselves. Are they? And if they are, why would they be using it against me and not on the detention students? Which use of it would be more productive?"

"Using it on students in detention," he says, even though I'm sure he realized it was a rhetorical question.

"On my way up here, I began thinking about some of their questions," I continue. "They asked me whether or not I was willingly serving the Dark Lord. Now, he already knows that I am not serving him willingly."

"But he wouldn't have told them that," Severus says logically.

"You're right, sir, but their questions were not random."

He watches me closely, waiting for me to continue.

"Those questions were practiced. It was question on top of question on top of question, one after the other. And they took turns asking. Amycus would ask me something. Then Alecto would ask me something. I hardly had time to breathe before I was attacked with another."

"But—"

"No, listen. Their questions hardly pertained just to Dumbledore's Army. They were asking about my childhood. Why would the Dark Lord care at all about my childhood?"

"He wouldn't."

"That's what I thought. So my question is: Who gave them the Veritaserum, told them to question me about my childhood, and had them inquire about my loyalty to Voldemort?"

We both stand in silence.

"It would have to be someone in the Inner Circle," I say a short moment later.

"I was thinking the exact opposite."

"Why do you say that?"

"Most of us know that you learned of your duty when you killed Avery—yes, that's common knowledge now. We know that you were young, so none of us would need to ask that."

"But no one else knows that I was in an orphanage. I keep that to myself, always making up lies to hide that fact, as do those who know the truth about me. They knew I was in an orphanage. How else would they know that unless they're in the Inner Circle?"

He thinks for a moment. "But those of us in the Inner Circle believe you're loyal to the Dark Lord. Why would they need to ask that?"

"But what if one of them suspects that I don't do this willingly?" Rodolphus knows I fear my duty, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm against the Dark Lord. But he asked a few questions similar to what the Carrows were asking. What if there's a group of them who a trying to ply me for information? "The Dark Lord already doesn't want anyone knowing that I'm rebelling against him because he believes others will follow my lead."

"None of them should suspect you of rebelling. You've given no reason for them to assume otherwise."

"Well, the Malfoys suspect, or know, that I don't want anything to do with my duty."

"The Malfoys could have Draco ask you anything they need or want to know. Did he ask you any of this when you were with him those few hours on Saturday?"

"No," I sigh. "But I'm concerned. I mean, the Dark Lord knows that I'm against him. No Death Eaters besides you and the Malfoys and Mum know that. Either someone suspects that I'm against him or…" I stop and take a breath, unsure what I'm trying to say. "What if one of the Death Eaters are starting to rebel—and I strictly mean Inner Circle Death Eaters—"

"But what Death Eater, other than me, is against the Dark Lord?"

"I don't know. I just have a gut feeling that a Death Eater gave the Carrows the Veritaserum to use against me." I pause for a moment, a cold hand gripping my chest. "What if they're trying to turn him against me? What if somehow they've figured out that not only do I fight against him at the manor but that I also do stuff to make everything worse for the Death Eaters here? What if they're hoping that they can prove I don't serve him and that I fight against him, hoping that the whole 'protect my broodmare' bit is ruined?" I take a breath.

We're both silent again for a few moments. "I guess…you may have a point…" he finally relents. "Perhaps a Death Eater is just trying to make your life more difficult or trying to find out just enough to have some leverage over you."

As if my life's not already difficult enough.

It's too late for me to be in the common room, but I can't help it. Sometimes, though I hate it, the view of the Black Lake is rather interesting. Granted, I would much rather be looking over the grounds from the Gryffindor Tower, but still, this is nice every now and then.

The fire crackles in the hearth. Part of me wants to go speak with McGonagall about the Carrows forcing me to undergo Veritaserum interrogations. But a larger part of me doesn't want to. There are some things that I feel she's better off not knowing. That I am going to die, that the Carrows are questioning me, and that someone in the Inner Circle does not trust me and wants to hurt me are facts that I cannot tell her. Only Severus can know those things.

I throw my legs onto the couch and lie down, closing my eyes to blindly listen to the fire.

Despite the fact that I am supposed to be frustrated at being sent away from Hogwarts to spend time with my Death Eater mother, I'm looking forward to it. Which is bad. I shouldn't be attached to Bellatrix this way, but here we are.

Someone touches my legs, and I open my eyes. "Move over, Charlotte," Christopher commands. "Make some room."

I smile at him and sit up normally on the sofa. "What are you doing awake?"

"Looking for you, actually. You're kind of predictable, no offense. I knew you would either be arriving in the common room later, you would be in here right now, or you would be coming down early in the morning and would see me and wake me up. I took a shot." He grins. "I guess I got lucky."

"Do you need something?"

"Yes, I got a letter back from my mum. She's thrilled that you can come for Christmas. I just wanted to tell you is all," he says. "And I wanted to ask what you want for Christmas."

"You're not getting me anything," I say firmly.

"Either you can tell me, or we can guess."

"You'll have to guess, because I don't want anything."

He tries not to laugh. "Maybe Julia will be able to come over while you're with us."

"Julia? Do you live close to her?"

"Well, yeah…I thought you knew that? We grew up together."

"Then I'm sure she'll be able to come over at least one of the days. What do you want for Christmas?"

"Oh, I'm not going to tell you. My parents are getting me stuff. You don't have to."

"Just tell me," I say.

"First you have to tell me what you want."

I smile at him. "Okay, I want…one of those pictures. You know, from the Christmas party. I want the one with me and Draco." I throw my feet back up on the coffee table. "You can pick a nice frame."

He smirks. "You know I have to get you more than just that."

"Well, you can guess on anything else. Now, what do you want?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"You little shit," I laugh. "I'll think of something. What ages are your siblings?"

"Nine, six, and four. But you don't have to get them anything either."

I smile at him, happy to feel like I'm actually a part of a functional family. It's something I never thought I would get to experience.