Chapter 15

Ezra got out of his car and jogged up the snowy sidewalk to Ellie's apartment. The February sun was weak in the sky. He didn't have to knock before she opened the door, her usual sunny smile wan.

He took in the lack of color in her cheeks, the light smudges of blue under her eyes. He frowned slightly. He thought her morning sickness had improved. She had been working for him for almost a month now, and it had been at least a couple weeks since he had heard her retching in his office.

He didn't say anything about it, just offered her his arm to assist her over the icy patches in the walk.

Ellie looped her arm through his and they walked in silence to his car. He looked at her car, still in the same parking space, still buried under snow. So clearly she hadn't been able to afford the needed repairs yet. Not that Ezra minded. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed her company.

When Ezra got in the car, Ellie had her head resting against the seat, eyes closed.

"Rough night?" Ezra asked. If she was ill, he wasn't about to drag her to the bar. Although he had moved a couch into his office her second week there, under the pretense that he wanted a more comfortable seat, but he had found her lying there at the end of the night more than once.

From the corner of his eye, he saw her grimace. She heaved a sigh and rolled her head to the side to look at him. "I talked to my brother last night."

Ezra knew that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. She seemed to speak to her brother at least three times a week. "Is everything alright?" he asked.

Ellie's hazel eyes filled with tears. She blinked quickly. "I just miss him," she said. Her lips trembled.

Ezra wasn't familiar with having family one missed. His experience was more a sense of relief when he could say his goodbyes and put some distance between his mother and himself.

"You and your brother must be close," Ezra said.

"Buck was like a brother, a dad, and a friend all rolled into one," Ellie said. Our mom worked nights and he was the one to make sure I was home on time, got my homework done, beat up my prom date when he found us in the backseat of his car instead of at the dance." Humor brightened her smile slightly.

Ezra felt his lips move in an answering smile. "I assume the prom date recovered?"

Ellie laughed, some color returning to her cheeks. "He wouldn't date me again after that. But his cousin did and learned from the prom king's mistakes. Buck never caught us." She flashed an unrepentant grin at Ezra and Ezra chuckled.

Ellie looked considerably brighter when they pulled into a parking spot around the corner from the bar and Ezra was surprised at how much relief that brought him. He walked Ellie down the sidewalks that were clear of snow and stopped to unlock the door to his bar.

When he pushed open the door and moved aside to let her through, Ellie laid a hand on his arm.

"Thanks, Ezra," she said, her eyes shining warmly at him. Her hand was warm even through the sleeve of his coat and she gave him a light squeeze.

Ezra cleared his throat uncomfortably, making Ellie laugh. She went past him into the bar, turning on the lights and Ezra followed. He left her to head towards the office while he went behind the bar to start inventory before they opened for the day.

He knelt down to look at the lower shelves, pulling out any bottle that was less than half full.

"Ezra."

He had hoped to avoid this.

"Yes?" he said, without coming up from behind the bar. Ellie circumvented that ploy by coming around the bar. Without her heavy winter jacket, her pregnancy was obvious. Ellie had mentioned she was in her fifth month. Ezra looked away from her and back to his inventory.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders and he could feel Ellie's cheek resting against the top of his head.

"You're a really good friend," she whispered.

That was more of a jolt than anything else she could have told him. He didn't have a circle of friends. And had certainly never been told he was a good one.

"Well, it is Valentine's Day," Ezra said matter-of-factly.

He heard a sniffle and looked over at Ellie.

This time she couldn't blink back her tears. They dampened her long lashes.

"No lady should pass a Valentine's Day without flowers," Ezra said uncomfortably.

Ellie flung her arms around him again. If Ezra had been unsure about setting the dozen pink roses on the desk for her last night, he had no doubts now.

Ezra reluctantly lifted his arms and returned her hug.

Ellie pulled away with another laugh at the grimace on his face. "It was a hug, Ezra. Not an attack."

"I know," he said.

Ellie laughed again. "I'll get to work now."

Clearly not upset by his lack of emotional openness, Ellie headed to the back hallway and the office.

Ezra turned his attention back to his project, but this time he was hard pressed to tamp down the lightness Ellie's thanks had brought.

#

"No, I've already been on hold—" Josiah sighed when his protest was cut off by tinny music over the phone. He sighed heavily, but there was no one to argue with, he'd have to wait.

This phone call was going to cost a fortune. Overseas calls weren't easy to come by and this was his fifth one tonight.

The connection died.

Josiah slammed the phone down.

"You ok, buddy?"

Josiah took a moment to calm himself before turning to Buck.

"Just hard to take care of things at home when we're all the way over here."

"Yeah," Buck said with a heavy sigh. Josiah knew the man had been worried about his own sister. Ellie wasn't herself, they could all see that on every video call, but she insisted that she was just fine. "Anything I can help with?" Buck asked.

Josiah appreciated the offer, but shook his head. "Not unless you know of a vacant apartment in my price range."

"You moving?" Buck asked.

Josiah shook his head. "It's for my sister." He didn't say he needed to find a place for her to stay when she got out of a mental institution. Or that if he couldn't find a place for her, he was worried she would move back home with their dad—a move that would be a sure shove over the uneven ledge she was already balancing on.

"If I didn't live on base…" Josiah said.

Buck nodded in understanding. Josiah's space was one step up from the barracks. Hardly room for him, let alone his sister.

"The Lord will provide," Josiah said, as much to convince himself as to portray confidence to Buck. "You headed back over to the barracks?" he asked.

Buck nodded. Josiah stepped outside with him. "How's Chris doing?" he asked quietly.

Buck frowned. "He says he's fine."

Josiah hummed in understanding. He had his suspicions that Chris had lied his way through the mental evaluation when they returned from their ill-fated deployment last time. That he knew exactly what to say to get clearance to come back to the job he knew, even if he wasn't ready.

"Losing Stephen was hard on everyone," Josiah said, not singling Chris out, giving Buck space to talk if he needed to.

"Shook me up something fierce," Buck admitted. He looked at Josiah then. "This is my last deployment," he said.

Josiah kept his surprise from showing on his face.

"I should be home, stateside, with Ellie. With family. Not over here playing whack-a-mole with every new insurgent that pops up."

"I'll bet Ellie is looking forward to that," Josiah said, glossing over the hopeless frustration in Buck's words about their mission. He could see how hard Buck was trying to reel in his emotions and wasn't about to push the man for a conversation he wasn't ready for.

Buck's frown deepened and Josiah knew what he was thinking before Buck spoke. Buck stopped outside the door to their crowded barracks before pushing it open and answering.

"Something's goin' on with her," Buck said. "She's bein'…shifty."

Josiah choked back a snort of laughter. "Shifty?" Of all the things he could label Ellie Wilmington, shifty was the last thing that came to mind. The young lady was open, honest, compassionate. Shifty?

"Real evasive," Buck clarified. "She won't give me a straight answer about what's goin' on at home."

Josiah frowned, any humor dying. That wasn't like Ellie. "You have any guess about what's going on?" He saw Chris stiffen, heard the crinkle of the papers in his hand as his grip tightened on them.

"I sure do," Buck declared.

Josiah watched Chris at the makeshift desk with concern. Chris looked like he was holding his breath.

"She met someone," Buck announced with certainty.

Chris turned his head enough to fix a hard look on Buck. Josiah felt bad for the two men who both saw protecting Ellie as their duty, an insurmountable assignment from their current locale.

Vin was reclined back on his bunk, listening. "She tell you that?" Vin asked.

Buck shook his head. "She didn't have to," he said certainly. "But all the signs are there."

Josiah lifted an eyebrow. He couldn't wait to hear what evidence Buck had.

"She's dodging my calls half the time, and cutting them short the other half. She won't tell me nothing about her new job, and I think it's because he works there."

Josiah waited for more proof. When Buck didn't continue, Nathan spoke up doubtfully. "That's all?"
Buck blustered like he couldn't believe they weren't all ready to fly home and string up this man. "What do you mean 'that's all'? He's clearly no good for her if she's hiding him."

"And who is this mystery man?" Josiah asked, more to give Buck the opportunity to vent—and hopefully let this suspicion go—than because he was buying what Buck was saying.

"That guy at the hospital," Buck said, eyes narrowing.

Josiah didn't miss the way Chris' eyes glinted at the memory.

"Ok…" Vin said, clearly trying to give Buck's giant assumption some credit. "Is it so bad if she found someone? It's got to get lonely with you deployed."

"What kind of man sneaks around with another man's sister?" Buck demanded. "This guy didn't so much as introduce himself to me. Didn't tell me he was dating my sister. What sort of weasel does that?"

Chris slammed his paperwork into a box. He shoved the onto a shelf with a heavy thud. His shoulders were a rigid line and he didn't look at Buck.

"Umm, everyone?" JD finally piped up.

Buck glared at the youngster. JD quailed slightly, but spoke again. "Seriously, Buck? You expect every guy to find out if she has a brother, then hunt you down and announce his intentions to you?"

"Of course!" Buck hollered.

Josiah let the silence sink in with Buck. No one was jumping to agree with him.

When the echo of his shout faded, Buck looked around at all of them. Josiah wished he didn't have to watch the dejected slope of Buck's shoulders as they fell. He dropped a hand onto Buck's shoulder and gave him a supportive squeeze.

"It's not easy," Josiah said, speaking with the weight of his own experience. "Being here when you've got someone who needs you back home."

The silence in the barracks spoke of how close to a sore spot his words hit the entire team.

The team that he was supposed to help through the emotional and spiritual weight piled on them with this job.

"There's nothing wrong with giving yourself some grace for things sliding at home while you're here," Josiah said. "You're a good man, Buck. You'd never let Ellie get hurt and she knows that."

Chris abruptly stormed out. Josiah watched him go with concern. He'd follow up with their team leader later. For now he needed to get Buck back on track. The usually cheerful man in a downward spiral could derail the morale of the entire team.

"Ellie doesn't make reckless decisions," Josiah continued. He could see Buck was listening, weighing his words. "She's got a good head on her shoulders."

"She does, Buck," Vin joined in. "Nothing's going to happen to Ellie in the next few months before we're home. Worst thing that happens is she breaks some guy's heart."

"You think she might break this fool's heart?" Buck asked, cheering some.

Josiah chuckled and Vin smiled. "Definitely," Vin assured him.

Buck nodded.

Buck let out a sigh, obviously trying to let go of what he couldn't control. And he managed a smile. But Josiah saw the shadows lingering. Buck would bear watching. He looked at the door Chris had gone out. And so would Chris.

#

Chris went into the main office building, hoping no one would be there. It was late enough at night it was empty.

He switched on a dim light and dragged a chair over to the computer.

What Buck said had stabbed deep.

Chris flipped open the laptop and logged on. As team leader and a higher rank, he had access to most of the buildings and computers. Something that came in handy when he needed to make a call without the entire team, and especially Buck, hovering around him.

He opened the Skype program and typed in the user name. It rang.

And then Ellie's face was there- blurred by the lousy connection, but there.

"Chris," she said, surprise coming through the sketchy connection.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she answered, her own greeting gentle, unlike his gruff one.

Chris didn't know what he was doing. He shouldn't be calling Ellie. He shouldn't be checking up to see if she'd met someone, if the guy was worthy of her. He shouldn't—

"Are you ok?" Ellie asked.

"Buck's worried about you," Chris said, not wanting to face her question.

"He shouldn't be," Ellie said. "I've been through his deployments before."

But not after spending a week in bed with Chris. Chris didn't say that.

Chris didn't recognize the background where Ellie was. Maybe it was that new job Buck had mentioned. He looked at the huge bouquet of roses behind her.

"That your office?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ellie said. She swung the camera on her phone around, showing him a small office. Chris clocked the man's coat draped on the arm of the couch before the camera came back to her face.

"You liking your new job?" Chris asked. He didn't know what he was doing. Reaching out for any connection with Ellie like a drowning fool grasping for a lifeline.

"I am," she said. "I miss the kids at the dental clinic, but this is nice."

Silence fell between them.

"Chris," Ellie said. Chris watched her take a breath, steady herself like she was going to tell him something. Something big. Something he didn't want to hear. And he didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear her tell him he found someone else, even though he knew that was better for her. Anyone would be better for her than he was.

Chris steeled himself.

The door swung open and two of his superiors came in. Chris knew he was a coward for the relief he felt. But he didn't have to face Ellie gushing about someone new right now.

"I have to go," he said when one of the officers motioned to him.

Ellie's mouth thinned, but she nodded. And if Chris wasn't mistaken, a hint of relief was there.

Chris ended the call. The two ranking officers spread a map out on one of the tables. He told Chris they had found the man they had been searching for. The one who had killed Stephen Travis.

Chris shoved aside thoughts of Ellie. He focused on this new information, the plan they were formulating. Something he could fix. Something he could do right.

#