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CHAPTER 30

With my failure to attend all of my class and the subsequent struggles I'm facing because of that, I have decided to spend my free time on Tuesday in the library. Though I'm not a real student, I don't want to fail out of Hogwarts because that would simply be a humiliation I don't want to deal with. I would actually kind of like to speak with Severus again, but I don't know what I'd talk with him about since nothing consequential has happened since our last conversation. And besides, when I went to his office earlier, through the door I heard the frustrated voices of both him and the portrait Dumbledore. Whatever could make them argue like that is not something I want to get involved in, and I can't just barge in again and interrupt whatever argument they were having.

So the library is where I am now and where I have been for roughly an hour, an hour of complete solitude really. And it's been nice. But something continues to peck at the back of my mind. I'll have to tell Neville soon that the Carrows are now willing to use Veritaserum against students to find out what Dumbledore's Army is up to (if I'm wrong and another Death Eater didn't give the potion to the Carrows—if I'm wrong, the D.A. needs to know).

Luckily for me, I catch sight of a head of red hair in the library and immediately head to that aisle. Ginny sits down with Luna and Neville, and I can't help but wonder how they managed to all have a free period right now. I decide that's the least important thing right now, so I take a seat with them. "I've got bad news," I say quietly. None of them look very thrilled about this. "The Carrows used Veritaserum against me last night."

Neville sighs and closes his eyes. "What'd they make you say?"

"Nothing. I've been taught Occlumency. I didn't tell them anything really important, but I thought you should know that they're now willing to try it." A pang goes through my chest—I so desperately want to go to Severus's office. "But I did tell them that the three of you are part of the D.A., which didn't come as a surprise to either of them. But…I thought it only right to give you a heads up."

"We appreciate it," Ginny says kindly.

Neville's eyes widen suddenly, and he says, "Have you been in Snape's office?"

I fight down the heat that I feel rising to my cheeks. "Yeah, a few times, why?"

"I thought so. Have you seen a sword in there? The Sword of Gryffindor?"

"I don't know what the Sword of Gryffindor is, but there's a sword in a case in one of the back corners that wasn't always there. And I kind of don't see Se-Snape keeping swords around for no reason. Is it important?"

"We need it, to give to Harry," Ginny says.

Hope rises in my chest. "Do you know where he is?"

"No, but we have to try to get it to him."

"Why?"

"Dumbledore left it for Harry in his will," Ginny says. "There had to be a reason, so we have to find a way to get it to him. If we have the sword, we will at least have one part of that process complete."

"We could really use your help, Charlotte," Luna adds.

I nod. "When you walk in, it's on the far-left shelf in a glass case, close to the portrait of Dumbledore. You can't miss it."

"Do you know when Snape'll be out of his office?" Neville asks.

Severus doesn't tell me when he plans to leave his office, and it would be suspicious to ask him now. And I'm sure I could simply ask him for the sword—or tell him that these three want it. But he wouldn't be able to give it to them because that wouldn't bode well for him with the Death Eaters if they suspected Severus of purposefully neglecting his office so the sword could be stolen. But if I can distract him, then the blame would be on me, and he wouldn't be punished if the Death Eaters found out because it would all be my fault. If I'm the reason Severus was out of his office, then it's on me, not him.

"The only time I know for sure that you would have a shot at getting it…" I don't know if I should do this. What if Severus finds out? "The end of this month. Do you have a calendar?"

Luna hands me one within seconds. I want to ask why she carries one around with her and keeps it so handy, but then I realize that this is Luna. She has a number of peculiarities. But she's cool, in an odd way. "Thanks," I say as I look at the end of the month. Seeing the days in print makes it seem so much closer. "Okay…so, the twenty-eighth." I point to the day. "The last Friday of the month." The night before I am to be sent to Malfoy Manor again. The night that Severus will undoubtedly let me in his chambers so that I can prepare to face Voldemort again. And if the past has proven anything, he'll sit in there with me.

"What time?" Ginny asks.

"Hang on…" I exhale, growing anxious at the thought of doing this. "Be there no earlier than five past eleven. And if you can, try to be out by ten past."

Ginny looks at me curiously. "Five minutes to break in and steal the sword? Does it need to be that precise?"

"If at all possible, yes."

"Why?" she asks.

"Because he will leave his office at eleven, but he could be running late, so you shouldn't show up before eleven-oh-five. And you might not have much time to steal the sword because could return sooner than expected, so you need to be out as soon as possible." Really, it's because I don't know how long I can keep him talking, but it stands to reason that he won't expect me to talk very long when I arrive because I never do. And if he decides he needs to do something from his office after I finish talking, then these three are fucked. So I'll just have to keep him talking for just a few minutes. That's doable.

"How do you know this?" Ginny seems suspicious.

"I am being summoned from Hogwarts. Snape is taking me, but I don't know when he'll be returning, so it's best to get out of his office as quickly as possible."

"Who's summoning you?" Luna asks.

I'm saved from answering when Daphne walks up to the table and interrupts us. "Charlotte, the Carrows want to see you."

I sigh. "All right." Daphne slips her arm through mine as we walk away. "Do the Carrows really want me or were you swooping to save me?"

Daphne smiles, almost laughs. "No, not really. I was trying to eavesdrop, but then it looked like you were getting into…an uncomfortable conversation, so I just thought I'd swoop in." I nod and look away from her. "Don't think I was doing that out of the kindness of my heart, though. Maybe I'm just trying to guilt you into explaining why you leave like every month for a few days. Or are you trying to pretend that you don't do that?"

I take a shaky breath, then look back at her, studying her face, trying to make up my mind one way or another if this is something I want to do. "I'll tell you. Privately. But you won't be able to tell anyone. And it'll endanger you greatly. So that's up to you." I'm not too sure that I want to tell her, but I'm really just hoping it'll be easier to disappear from the castle and the dormitory if someone who knows the truth is covering for me. I desperately need someone to cover for me. Especially since I'm going to be missing two weekends this month.

"I feel like knowing will give me the chance to help you if need be. Right? You won't have to suffer in silence. I don't care if it endangers me. I want to know."

"Then you will." My heart pounds painfully in my chest, and I do my best to ignore that. I'm actually afraid to do this, I think. "C'mon, I have an idea of where we can go."

She follows without question as we make our way into an unused classroom. I clear my throat and look around, unable to meet her eye. My hand shakes slightly, my chest tightening a bit. This is going to be a mistake, I'm afraid. I let out a deep, deep breath, and she smiles comfortingly at me. "Charlotte, whatever it is, I promise I won't change how I—I'll never see you differently."

I almost want to believe her.

"Okay," I say, "so here's the thing—"

Two quick spells slam into my back and into Daphne, sending us sprawling onto the floor, me slightly on top of her. I whip my wand out and turn to attack whoever sent those spells, but both my wand and Daphne's are expelled from our hands and clatter to the floor on the other side of the room. Crabbe slams the door shut behind him while Goyle goes to collect our wands. Daphne and I help each other up, and I find myself sliding in front of Daphne in an attempt to guard her from them at least a bit.

"What do you want?" I ask, keeping my voice even.

"We're only doing what we should have done our fifth year," Crabbe says.

"Which is?"

"Killing you."

I swallow. "That's…I can understand why you'd want to kill me." I glance back over my shoulder at Daphne, then look back at the two of them. "A lot of people want to kill me. But could you…could you let Daphne go? Surely she's done nothing that could make you want to kill her too."

"Charlotte, I'm not—"

"She's a good and loyal Slytherin and—"

"Yet she hangs out with you," Goyle says aiming his wand at Daphne while Crabbe keeps his trained on me. "So how loyal can she really be?"

"You think you're going to get away with killing two students today?"

Goyle frowns at me. "We almost managed to kill you once before, or don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" I force a laugh, growing more anxious than I'm going to admit to them, trying to figure out how I can move in front of Goyle's wand to guard Daphne. There's no reason for her to be harmed because of something I've done to upset these two goons.

"Fifth year, Umbridge's classroom, the first day of Defense Against the Dark Arts," Crabbe says.

"That means virtually nothing to me."

"You don't remember," Goyle says quietly.

Daphne tries to come around me, but I push her back behind me. She speaks from around my shoulder, "Boys, this simply isn't worth it. Why don't you let us leave and you can go back to your power trip some other time, hmm? We were in the middle of an important—"

"Shut the fuck up, Greengrass." Goyle's wand shoots a spell at her, and she falls silent.

"Hey!" I shout. "Don't you dare—" Crabbe shoves his wand against my throat, and I reach back to Daphne who takes my hand. My muscles tense; chill bumps sprout all over my body; my throat tightens. This is—this is too reminiscent of when I tried to protect Zoe from Voldemort and failed.

"You won't forget this time," Crabbe assures me.

I swallow and force a smile. "The two of you are making no sense at all."

"You almost died," Goyle says.

"The Entrail-Expelling Curse." Crabbe pushes his wand harder against my neck. "Had we simply known the curse better, you would not be standing here right now."

They did that to me? Draco had to escort me to the hospital wing because I got ill. But I wasn't ill. It had been a poorly executed Entrail-Expelling Curse. Or at least, that's what Severus thought. Dumbledore didn't agree.

"I can tell by the light in your eyes that you are beginning to remember," Goyle says. "This time though, there is no one to save you." Daphne tightens her grip on my hand. "It's a shame we'll have to kill Greengrass too."

"Right," I say, trying to decide the best course of action here, doing my best to stall them. "So, why exactly do you want me dead?"

"You can't kill a Death Eater and expect us to let it go unnoticed," Crabbe snarls.

"What Death Eater have I killed?"

"Avery."

My laugh this time is real, not forced, but it comes mostly from shock and frustration. "How do you even know about that?"

"Potter wasn't lying about our fathers being Death Eaters," Goyle says.

"They told us about what you did," Crabbe adds.

"And they asked you to kill me?"

"Not exactly," Goyle says. "We've taken it upon ourselves to rid the world of you, get in good with the Dark Lord for when he takes over. It's nothing personal."

"By killing me?"

"Avenging a fallen Death Eater," Crabbe says.

I start laughing again.

Goyle frowns at me. "You think this is a joke?"

"Why don't you go speak with the Carrows? Then you might understand why I'm laughing! Or go speak to Snape! He'll tell you just how important I am to the Dark Lord!"

"You? Important to the Dark Lord? You're not fooling us!" Crabbe snarls.

"He'd kill you the moment he saw you because of Avery!" Goyle says.

I sigh. "You poor, stupid, little boys. Maybe you should find out everything about me before you attempt to harm me again."

"Crabbe," Goyle says quietly, his eyes flickering to his friend, "what…what if she's telling the truth?"

"You believe her?"

"I…I don't know…"

"I think you do know, Goyle," I say.

"Prove it," he says.

"Snape is a Death Eater, as are the Carrows," I say. "The Dark Lord is staying at Malfoy Manor with the Malfoys and Bellatrix Lestrange. He has a snake named Nagini. He killed Charity Burbage before term started during a meeting discussing how to kill Harry Potter." Daphne places her free hand between my shoulder blades. "Nagini then ate Charity Burbage in front of all of us. Well, those of us who were there. I see you didn't merit an invite. Ask Draco, he was there."

"Crabbe," Goyle whispers.

"Don't listen to her!"

"How do you explain what she knows?"

"I don't know," Crabbe says. A plan starts to form in my mind, but I know it's going to hurt. Or at least I'm at risk of it hurting a lot. They're standing fairly close together. "But it doesn't matter! Move aside!"

Goyle's wand wavers. I make up my mind. "But, Crabbe—"

I lunge, my arms spread wide enough to hit them both at the same time, and take them both to the floor with me. A spell flies just over my shoulder, and I hear Daphne screech, followed by the sound of her running. One of Goyle's spells shoots me into the ceiling, and as I'm falling back down, I see Daphne snatch up both of our wands on the other side of the room and attack those two Death-Eater-wannabees. I crash back onto my side and groan. Daphne is by my side in an instant, pulling me to my feet, four wands in her hands. She's disarmed Crabbe and Goyle; one side of her face is swelling. The Stinging Hex.

She hands me my wand, and I aim it at the two boys who have just threatened to kill me and Daphne. "As for your wands—we're keeping them for now. Think about harming either of us again, and I'll snap them in half." I look over at Daphne, then back at the boys. "I'm going to let you live now, but if you ever come for me like this again, I will kill you. And if you truly know what I did to Avery, you know that I will have no qualms about ending your pathetic lives. But don't expect to die as fast as Avery did. I think I'll make Bellatrix Lestrange herself proud when I'm finished with you. She taught me how to use the Cruciatus Curse perfectly. Come on, Daphne, we're leaving."

We break into a run together and start toward the dungeons. "Wait, wait, here." Daphne grabs my arm and pulls me into the storage closet where I once stashed Alecto Carrow for a few days. My right foot gets caught behind my left one, and I lose my balance. We collapse onto the floor, Daphne landing on top of me. For a moment she stays there, and I force myself to breathe evenly and remain calm for the short eternity before she gets off of me. She closes the door and laughs quietly. "I figure it'd be better if Pansy isn't around when you tell me what's been happening to you, and after that just now with Crabbe and Goyle, I want to know everything."

She sits down and leans against the door, and I sit up as well. "That kind of hurt."

"Oh, c'mon, it's kind of becoming our thing for me to swing you into a storage closet. I just didn't realize how unstable you are on your feet. At least this time when I fell you on, you didn't whack your head on the stone floor." Her lips twitch in a short-lived grin.

I wave my wand at the door to muffle our conversation from anyone who might be walking by, then I take a breath. "I'm giving you one more chance to change your mind. Only a handful of people know the truth about me, and they're either Death Eaters or in constant danger of being killed by the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. Or they were killed already." Zoe's smile flashes through my mind.

"I'm ready, Charlotte."

I brace myself, then plunge into my story, telling her everything. From the orphanage, to Mrs. Stoico, to Avery's death and my escape, to my arrival here at Hogwarts under Severus's protection, to me and Draco and Bellatrix on that dreaded Christmas holiday, to my duty to Voldemort. I let it all out. And once I start, I can't stop. It's like a flood. And Daphne doesn't seem to mind. I tell her about Fred and Zoe. I explain to her just how much I loved Zoe and how I still sometimes dream of her.

She slides beside me and takes my hand when I lose my voice to sobs. Then she rests her head on my shoulder as I tell her about Voldemort's Dark Magic and what he does to me once a month. Daphne's breath catches, but she remains silent.

My chest aches terribly, and I don't know if it's from admitting all of this to her or from her holding my hand in this little room and trying to comfort me as any good friend would, but whatever the reason, I have to stop speaking because it hurts so badly. The tears come full force again, and I cannot fight back the wail of agony that tears through me. Daphne squeezes my hand tightly, and I rest my head atop hers.

"I'm so scared, Daphne," I whisper. "What if…what if I…what if I get pregnant?"

"You won't be alone, I can assure you that."

I can't help but wonder why she's so nonchalant about me being the daughter of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, but I'm guessing that probably has a great deal to do with her growing up with pureblood supremacists.

"I appreciate you not making a huge deal out of this," I say softly.

"Oh, I'm freaking out internally. Screaming and trying to wrap my head around it. Asking way too many questions, honestly. I just assumed you didn't need that right now."

A sad laugh escapes me before I can stop it, and before long, Daphne and I are both laughing ridiculously as if we've just witnessed the greatest thing in the world and not shared this awful secret. My stomach aches from our laughter, and I cannot remember the last time I doubled over like this. Daphne and I lean into one another, fueling each other more, and then as quickly as our joy arrived, it disappears, leaving behind stagnant air as we collect ourselves.

I become suddenly aware of our hands still clutched together, and I kind of pull away from her a bit. "I need to go," I say quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"Snape summoned me to his office, and I think I'm running late." I rush from the room, and Daphne doesn't try to stop me. Which is a good thing. Because had she asked me to stay, I would have, no questions asked.

Instead though, I am running through the castle, trying to ignore the pull in me telling me to go back to that small storage closet. I'm not surprised when I end up at the gargoyle protecting Severus's office, and I'm not surprised when I breathe the password and make my way up the stairs. But I'm surprised that I can't bring myself to burst into his office as I have many times in the past. Instead I simply knock and wait for him to let me enter.

Seeing him instantly makes me feel better, and I smile at him. "Sorry to interrupt, Professor, but I had to get away from some people."

"Parkinson?"

I shake my head. "Others this time. But I have some news I think you might enjoy hearing. And honestly I'd like to distract myself by telling you."

Severus grins and motions for me to take a seat and continue.

I sit and immediately say, "I know who tried killing me in my fifth year."

He pauses for a second. "Which time?"

"When someone used the Entrail-Expelling Curse on me."

His brow furrows. "I remember that. Professor Dumbledore was less than convinced that it was an attempt on your life."

"I had completely forgotten about the whole incident."

"You had forgotten about a near-death experience?"

"I never considered it a near-death experience. For me, it was the catalyst that started the relationship between me and Draco. After that hit the fan, I sort of blocked out what happened between the two of us. That includes what started our relationship."

He nods. "So what happened?"

"Well, earlier today, Crabbe and Goyle pulled me into a room, threatening to kill me. They told me they tried killing me with the curse our fifth year. You should have seen their faces when I convinced them I was working for the Dark Lord."

"You told them you were working for the Dark Lord?"

"They wanted to kill me because of Avery. So yeah, I had no choice, really. They panicked."

"They believed you?"

"I told them some things that only Death Eaters would know."

"That's one mystery solved," he says. "I'll speak with the Dark Lord and make sure Crabbe and Goyle don't attempt to harm you again."

I don't know how long I stay in Severus's office, but I know that by the time I leave, I am much calmer than I was when I arrived. No one disturbs me when I make it back to the Slytherin Dungeon. In fact, many of them are already in their dormitories and away from the common room. No one I care about is around, so I make my way upstairs and crawl into my bed.

I'll try to have another chapter up by Thursday or Friday