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I know this chapter was delayed, and I'm very sorry. I hope to have the next chapter up in early February

CHAPTER 42

It's the last day at Hogwarts before we leave for the Christmas holidays, and I am just now getting used to the Carrows no longer interrogating me. Well, they no longer ask me personal questions—they stick solely to information about the D.A. But even that has really died down recently. Probably because there hasn't been a big attack or prank since they were both locked in their offices. But I'm not complaining. It's relaxing not to have to worry when the Carrows are planning to grab me and drag me off somewhere to question me.

I glance at Daphne, who is currently walking back to the dungeons with me, and I decide to voice a fear that I've kept to myself. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

She smiles but doesn't look at me. "Go for it."

"Do you think Christopher's family will be disappointed if I don't measure up to Helena?"

She slows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Christopher's already told me that I remind of Helena, his sister. What if they expect me to be like her and I'm not?"

"Merlin, you're worried about nothing, Charlotte. They won't try to replace their daughter with you. They probably just want to get to know the person that Christopher seems to admire so much. Stop overthinking things."

"Words of wisdom, Greengrass."

"I'm serious. You're being paranoid."

"But his younger—"

"They're old enough to understand death. They know you're not a replacement. Stop fretting, and enjoy your last few hours of freedom in the castle before we get on the train."

"Before we get on the train to head to more freedom, you mean?"

"You know it."

We come to a stop in front of the door to the Slytherin Dungeon. "I actually have to go retrieve some things. Gifts. I'll catch up with you later, yeah?"

She watches me suspiciously. "And just where are these gifts located?"

"Somewhere I doubt you'll ever visit," I answer truthfully. A quick glance at my pocket watch tells me I have very little time before the wards are dropped in the second-floor girls' bathroom so I can Apparate to Severus's chambers to collect everything I bought from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes last month. "And I'm afraid I don't have a moment to waste. I'll be back down shortly. Still have to pack and all."

"Don't take too long. I can't cover for you forever."

I watch her disappear into the common room before darting back up the stairs and all the way to the girls' room on the second floor. With just under a minute to spare, I force myself to catch my breath from the running and even it out. My eyes bear into the pocket watch's face until the proper time, at which point I quickly Apparate.

Severus is not in his chambers when I arrive, though I never really expected him to be. The pile of gifts from Fred and George's shop is still waiting patiently beside the sofa, and I quickly go to them and open the bag to make sure everything is as it should be. Something precariously shoved under the sofa catches my eye, and I reach forward and grab it. It's the sketchbook, of course, the one sent to me as a threat. I run my hand over its front cover before opening it up and flipping through it. Most of these are clearly from when she was younger, before she became truly skilled. I don't linger long on any one picture until a single folded sheet falls out. Gingerly I pick it up and peel it open. The drawing pricks my heart, tears welling up in my eyes. It's of me. I'm sitting at Zoe's kitchen table, Milo on my shoulder, her tea set in front of me. Both the tea set and my eyes are in color, but nothing else is. I can't help but wonder when she did this and why she put it in this particular book.

The door to Severus's quarters opens, and I brush aside the silent tears that creep down my cheeks. "Hi, Severus," I say.

"You've been crying."

"Found this in the sketchbook."

I hand the drawing over to him, and he studies it for a long minute, then glances at me. "She was gifted."

He hands it back, and I fold it and place it back into the pages of the book. "You should've seen some of the stuff she painted. It was phenomenal."

"Perhaps I should have paid more attention to her while she was a student here."

"As her Head of House, yeah, you probably should have," I say, but there's no malice in my voice. I lift the bag of gifts and the sketchbook and place them both on the sofa. "Thanks for keeping these safe for me, I guess." He nods but remains silent. "Um, so I guess I'll see you when I get back? The day after Christmas, right?"

He nods again. "Just try not to get into too much trouble before then. You already don't make the best first impressions."

"Are you really one to judge my first impression? Need I remind you that when we first met you were taking me as a slave to Hogwarts?"

"And had I known how annoying you could be, I probably would have told the Malfoys that I wouldn't do it."

"Your kind words almost make me wish the Hogwarts Express was leaving sooner." I smile at him, then glance back at the bag of gifts, and something occurs to me that I have neglected to tell him. "Oh, you know that Daydream Charm thing I gave you?" I don't let him answer before continuing, "Don't use it. I did, and it's the worst kind of torture. I don't think it's meant for people who have suffered much loss."

"There goes my plan for the next few days."

"Don't make jokes with me, Severus. It's weird—it makes me wish that we still bickered sometimes. The super evil Death Eater presiding over Hogwarts isn't allowed a sense of humor, you know. It ruins the whole cold, calloused image you've cultivated since the start of term."

His eyebrows raise. "Are you asking me to pick a fight with you before you leave the castle? How am I supposed to trust you to return if we're on bad terms? Merlin knows you ran off enough these past two summers that you've stayed with me. I don't think I want to handle tracking you down again."

"Hey, you didn't make it enjoyable to stay at Spinner's End. I don't think I can take full blame for my actions. Besides, it's not like I'm unpredictable. You were able to disguise yourself as Draco and find me kind of easily, so I don't really know why you're complaining. Hell, when I tried getting away from you even in the castle last year you knew where to find me."

"Just because I'm good at hunting you down does not mean that I want to do it."

"Then I guess I'll promise not to run away any time soon." I sigh. "I suppose I should start getting ready to leave the castle. Wouldn't want to miss the train." With a surge of awkward confidence I step closer to him and embrace him. "I'll see you when I get back before Malfoy Manor, yeah? Try not to have too much fun this Christmas."

He chuckles quietly and pulls away from me. "Christmas at Hogwarts is never bursting with joy. The most exciting thing that's happened during the holidays here in years was when you nearly drowned in the lake and I had to lock you in the potions storeroom for your own safety. That's about as much fun as this place offers."

"Must you bring up my shortcomings when I'm trying to give you a heartfelt goodbye?" I ask, moving back to the sofa and gathering my things. "Don't let the Carrows annoy you too much. I'd hate to be replaced in the few days I'm gone."

"Enjoy your holiday, Charlotte."

"You too, Severus."

I Disapparate. Once I'm back in the girls' room on the second floor it doesn't take me long to make my way back down to the Slytherin Dungeon and up to the dormitory to begin readying everything for my trip out of this place. Part of me regrets leaving Severus behind like this honestly. The holidays are probably harder on him than any other time of the year, and half of me wants to stay with him so he won't be alone again. Only the thought of meeting Christopher's family and getting away from the castle pushes me forward.

Daphne flops down onto my bed. "So you got whatever you stashed somewhere I'm not allowed to go?"

"Yes." I finish stuffing some clothes into a bag. "And don't ask it like that because I'm still not telling you where I went."

"I think I already know where you went."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, but I won't talk about it here. Too many prying eyes and ears." I glance at her but don't make a reply, so she continues, "If I had to guess, while being discreet, I'd say that the friend you thought you lost is now your friend again and that's where the bag was."

"Very intuitive of you."

"Maybe one day you'll explain how you're even friends in the first place."

"Yeah, maybe."

Together we go back to the common room and spend our remaining time playing rounds of Exploding Snap with the second-years and Astoria and Malcolm, and when the time comes for us to go to the train, I follow Daphne up to the dormitory and make a show of saying goodbye to her, mostly so Pansy and what's left of her little gang will assume I'm still here and won't be able to snitch to the Carrows if it comes down to it. Once the other seventh-year girls are gone, I sling my bag over my shoulder and cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and follow Daphne from the room. I stay hidden under the charm all the way down to the train, remaining silent and sticking close to my group of friends.

Not even when I get on the train do I remove the charm—I can't risk one of the others coming by and looking in our compartment and seeing me. "Move over," I say to them from under the charm. "If all eight of us are supposed to squeeze into this one compartment, then you need to make room."

A short shuffling later, Daphne and I are sitting on the floor, our backs against the wall with the window; Ella sits between Christopher and Julia on one bench; and Astoria is sitting in between Malcolm and Jacob on the other bench. "I have something for each of you." I wave my wand and pull the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes bag from the rack.

As the train takes off, I remove the Disillusionment Charm from my bag.

"We can't take anything," Ella says. "Spending time with you is enough."

"Don't try to flatter me. I've already paid for it now I can't take it back. So, either you can take it, or I can find some random kid to give it to. I'd prefer you have it." I hand over the gifts. "Don't open them until Christmas though. And honestly don't expect them to be super big or anything. They're all from Fred and George's joke shop." I glance at Christopher. "You'll have to wait until Christmas for your gift, Christopher."

"Is this your first Christmas away from Hogwarts?" Julia asks.

Right. They believe I was trapped at Hogwarts last year. A spike of guilt hits me, but I ignore it. "Yes, and I'm extremely excited. It feels good to be away from the Carrows. I can finally breathe easily."

I banter with my friends for the duration of the train ride, surprised by the slight disappointment I feel when the train arrives at King's Cross. We wait for the train to empty out, giving the other students enough time to get off the platform before we all say our goodbyes, just to make sure that anyone who could narc on me will be gone before I get off the train.

Christopher waits patiently with me for the train to clear out, knowing that it's safer for me to wait to remove the charm until most of the other students are gone. Once I'm sure it's not incredibly dangerous, I remove the charm from myself and exit to the platform with Christopher. He leads me toward a young girl and a man who looks just like him, tall with the same black hair and blue eyes and a strong, clean-shaven jaw. The man smiles at the two of us. This must be where Christopher got his dimples. The little blonde-haired, chocolate-eyed girl grins nervously at me.

Before we even reach them, Mr. Collins comes forward and takes Christopher into his arms. "How's my boy been, huh?" he asks him, his voice deep and comforting.

"Swell, Dad." They pull apart. "This is Charlotte."

Mr. Collins offers me his hand as Christopher moves to hug his sister. "Gideon Collins," he greets me. "It's honor to meet you; Christopher speaks very highly of you." He puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "This is Andrea."

The little girl timidly smiles at me. "It's nice to meet you, Charlotte."

"It's nice to meet you too."

"Here," Mr. Collins says, reaching for my bag, "let me take that for you."

"It's fine."

"I insist." I let him take my bag, and he reaches for Christopher's as well. We follow him quietly and come to a stop at a black car, Mr. Collins putting our bags into the trunk. Christopher and I take the backseat and let Andrea sit in the front with her father. "Christopher tells us you're quite the practitioner of Transfiguration."

"I like to think I am," I say.

"Don't be modest, Charlotte," Christopher says. "She's amazing. She's helped me reach the top of my class—well, behind Julia."

"You could've done it without my help. You had it in you."

Mr. Collins smiles. "Well, his mother and I appreciate you helping him."

"Where's Mum?" Christopher asks.

"At the house with Paige and Matthew. Those are the Christopher's youngest siblings."

"They're four and six," Christopher adds. "They're a little annoying."

"Christopher," Mr. Collins says sternly.

"Sorry."

They're such a normal family. Even with Helena's death, they manage to seem happy. I don't know how they do it.

Sooner than I realize, we're pulling into a driveway surrounded by trees that never seems to end until we reach the house itself and drive around to the back where we are greeted by a small lake. It's not nearly the size of the lake at Malfoy Manor, but it's still beautiful. Trees hide the lake and the house, which is three stories tall and made of wood and glass. The wall facing the lake is almost all glass. The bottom floor rests against the hillside, the two upper layers rising above the ground. A large porch wraps around the middle floor.

I lean over to Christopher and whisper, "You live here?"

He smiles and nods.

Mr. Collins stops the car, and we all climb out. After gathering up our bags, he leads us up the back steps to the porch on the second floor. I almost lose my breath when I enter the house. The whole place is open. The living room would lead right into the kitchen if not for the counter designed to separate them. A staircase leads to the top floor, which is over the kitchen. From the living room, all of the doors on that floor can be seen.

Two young light brown-headed children come running down the steps. "Daddy!" they both say. "Chris!" They run to their family while I stand awkwardly behind them.

The smallest boy looks at me for a few moments with big hazel eyes. He smiles widely then runs to the kitchen. From where I stand, I can hear him say, "Mum! Helena's home!" followed by shattering glass.

My face heats up instantly.

Mr. Collins's face becomes apologetic. "I'm so sorry. Christopher, why don't you take her to her room?"

Christopher nods leads me to a door under the staircase that descends into the basement. "Helena and I use to stay down here. Paige, Andrea, and Matthew are on the top floor, and Mum and Dad are on the main floor."

The basement is cream-colored with wood floors, a black rug with gray sofas facing the lake, a table with four chairs against the back wall, and a bookshelf full of books. Two of the five doors down here are closed. "This is my room," he announces, showing me one of the open ones. His room is blue, the walls adorned with Quidditch posters. I never knew he was a Quidditch fan. We move on. "This is the bathroom you can use." Then he leads me to the last open door, which leads into a white and brown room. "This is your room for your stay."

"And the two closed doors?" I whisper.

He takes me by the hand and walks over to them. "This was Helena's room," he says softly.

"You don't have to—" He pushes the door open. The bed is purple, the walls white, the recliner black. The bed faces the window overlooking the lake. I step away and close the door.

"We cleaned it out, but couldn't bring ourselves to empty it completely," he says quietly. He looks to the other door. "That's just a closet." He starts walking toward the steps. "Come on."

I follow him back up the stairs and to the living room. "Charlotte," Mr. Collins says kindly, more as a way to let his wife know that I'm in the room than anything else.

Mrs. Collins turns around and stops for a moment. She has blond hair like Andrea and hazel eyes like her youngest. Why does she look so familiar? "Charlotte," she greets me. "Trista Collins—it's a pleasure to meet you. Christopher only has good things to say about you."

I stare at her for a moment, trying to place her. "It's nice to meet you too."

She clears her throat, watching me. "I…I am so sorry about Matthew. He doesn't fully understand." Daphne was wrong. Apparently Matthew is not old enough to fully understand death.

Wait. I think I do recognize her. "Have we met before?"

Mrs. Collins tilts her head slightly. "I saw you once. In Diagon Alley. It was shortly after…after Helena."

"I remember. You kind of—"

"I stared. Thought I'd seen a ghost. You look awfully similar to Helena."

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

She inclines her head. "Paige, Matthew," she calls. The two young children come over. Paige has the same chocolate eyes as Andrea. "This is Charlotte, Christopher's friend."

"Hi," they both say.

"Hello."

"Did Christopher show you to your room?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"Yes. You have a lovely home."

She smiles at me again then turns to her children. "Why don't you go get washed up for dinner?"

They all leave the room, and I uncertainly follow Mrs. Collins into the kitchen. "Do you need help?"

"If you'd like, you can set the table." She points the cabinet. "The plates and everything are in there."

"Thanks for allowing me to come over."

"You're very welcome. You mean a lot to Christopher; therefore you mean a lot to us."

"Well, he means a lot to me too. I've been on my own most of my life, not having much of a family. He and our friend group—they're family to me. I don't know what I would do without them."

"What happened to your family?"

"I never really knew them. My father ran out on us, and my mother was killed when I was ten."

I look up to find Mrs. Collins looking at me with such sympathy I'm tempted to cry. "Charlotte…"

I shrug it off. "I've come to terms with it. Things could be worse, I suppose. I mean, I have great friends and adopted siblings, I have a mother figure, people that care about me. I consider myself wildly blessed compared to some."

She finishes up her cooking. "How do you stay so positive?"

If only she knew that I don't really stay positive. Only when I'm talking to people like her do I act like this. "People who care about me make it a great deal easier, especially people like McGonagall."

"The Transfiguration professor?"

"Yeah, she kinda took me under her wing when we first met. She knows about my circumstance and lets me go to Hogwarts some over the summer holiday."

"Is she the one who taught you Transfiguration so well?

"I actually taught myself when I was growing up, but she has definitely helped me since I arrived at Hogwarts."

The rest of the Collins family arrives seconds after that. "Here, Charlotte," Christopher says as he takes a seat at the oak table, "you can sit beside me."

"Thanks."

Matthew comes over and takes the other seat beside me. Mr. Collins sits at the head of the table while Andrea and Paige and Mrs. Collins fill in the other side. I can't help but think, when we all begin eating, that I've never had an actual family meal. I ate with the Weasleys a few times, but Fred, George, and I were usually late so it was just the three of us. I do my best to keep my face neutral, but this makes me wish I had an actual family.

I wish I had memories like this.

"Is Hogwarts as great as Chris makes it seem?" Andrea asks.

"I didn't always like it, but now I love it. It's home."

"But aren't there people at the school now," Mr. Collins says, "people who serve You-Know-Who?"

Well, this subject is one I should avoid. "The few who are there try to keep it a secret."

"Chris says there's three of them," Andrea interjects.

"Unofficially there are three."

"And officially?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"Two, the Carrows." Mr. and Mrs. Collins look uneasy, and I quickly add, "Hogwarts is still one of the safest places Christopher could be. Se-Snape—the headmaster—won't let things go too far."

"Severus Snape?" Mr. Collins asks. "You think he'll go out of his way to keep the students safe?" There's no covering the skepticism in his voice.

"You sound like you know him."

"I went to Hogwarts when he was there," Mr. Collins says. "We didn't run in the same circle, me being in Ravenclaw rather than Slytherin, but I knew him."

"You went to Hogwarts?"

"Trista and I both did. That's why we wanted to teach our children ourselves. While it was a good place to learn magic, it was dangerous. Trista was attacked a few times in our school days. And by Slytherins, no less."

"You should have seen them when I came home that first Christmas, Charlotte," Christopher laughs. "They were crazy with worry."

"With good reason," Mrs. Collins says. "Slytherin House was always doing dangerous things during our time there."

"What House were you in?" I ask her.

"Hufflepuff."

"I want to go to Hogwarts!" Andrea announces.

"You can when you're eleven," Christopher says.

Paige moans quietly. "But that means I have a really long time…"

"What House do you want to be in, Andrea?" Christopher asks.

She pauses, obviously uncomfortable with being put on the spot. "I…I don't know…"

"I think she should go in Slytherin with you, Christopher, that way you can watch over her," Mr. Collins says.

Christopher gulps audibly. "Don't make jokes like that, Dad."

Mr. Collins smiles. "I was just saying."

"You're staying for Christmas, right?" Paige asks me.

"Yeah, I'll have to leave this Friday night though."

"Will you come back?" she asks.

I sigh quietly. "I don't think I'll be able to. I'll have to go back to Hogwarts."

After the Malfoy Manor visit, of course. The thought sends a chill down my spine.

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