EmilyCMalfoy: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I figured a lot of people knew about it already even though it had only been hinted it, but there's something sad about it being confirmed. And yeah, I feel bad for Charlotte too. She's in so far over her head

Krazyasibe: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte just so badly wants her mother to love her as much as she loves her mother. And that's blinded her to the fact that Bellatrix will always be loyal to Voldemort

PreciousPearl4128: Thanks for following and favoriting and reviewing! I won't lie, it took a very long time to map it all out, but I'm so glad it's easy to see that everything is planned (for the most part, there are always little changes)! And yeah, writing a first person narrative, it was important to me for Charlotte not to be all-powerful. She's talented with a few things, but overall she struggles and has to work really hard to get better. I'm glad you're invested enough to feel bad for her, and I hope you continue to be entertained!

Steffypotter: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you're back and loving the story!

10nyxcat: Thanks for favoriting!

Shirabe: Thanks for following and favoriting!

AlectLightwoodMagnusBane: Thanks for favoriting!

Okay, I know it's been much longer than it's really ever been, and I am so so sorry. This quarantine is really taking a toll on me, and it's slowed down the writing process.

This is the end of Part 3! Thanks for sticking around! I hope to have the first chapter of Part 4 up by the end of June! Thanks for your patience!

CHAPTER 48

I've woken up from a nap and am sitting on Severus's bed flipping through Zoe's sketchbook, the one sent to me as a threat—or what I thought was a threat. I'm finally allowing myself to appreciate her artwork. These were all created long before she met me, and for some reason that makes it easier for me to handle looking at them right now. She was young and not in danger and maybe not even aware that she was a witch.

By my reckoning it's nearly noon, and I haven't seen anything from Severus since our conversation with Dumbledore's painting about horcruxes. I actually really want him to come back in here. I don't really like being alone right now. I've just reached the middle of Zoe's sketchbook when a tray of sandwiches appears in front of me. At least he hasn't forgotten about me, a thought that makes me smile a bit in spite of myself. Lunch only makes it harder to stay awake, and I soon set aside the sketchbook and rest my eyes.

An opening door awakens me sometime later, and I open my eyes to see Severus entering his chambers. "It's nearly seven," he says. "You slept through most of your Christmas Day."

"Yeah, and you've worked through most of it, so who are you to judge?"

He watches me for a moment, then seems to accept my response as reasonable and begins moving around the room. I'm tempted to ask him if he stays in his office doing things this late all the time, but deep down I know that he does. He's always so busy. I don't know what exactly he does, but he's always working on it.

When he disappears into his bathroom, I reach over and place the sketchbook on the nightstand.

My throat tightens when I hear Severus enter the room again, but I force myself to turn and face him. "Severus," I say quietly, my voice cracking. He watches me expectantly. "If…if I have a child and the Dark Lord kills me, what will happen to you?"

There's a burst of uncomfortable silence, Severus probably being caught off guard by my question, which admittedly was something he was likely not expecting. If I'm being honest, I'm sort of caught off guard as well. I myself wasn't expecting to voice this concern to him, but now that I've said it, it's too late to take it back now. "Unless the Dark Lord has reason to believe that the child is not his, I imagine my life will go back to normal."

"Normal?"

"Protecting Potter from afar." In honor of Lily of course. "Why are you asking?"

I shrug. "Just…wondering, really." I take a shaky breath. "If… Say I do have a child, but it's not the Dark Lord's, and somehow I die anyway. Would you…would you protect them? Our child, I mean."

"I would never let any harm come to them. Why are you suddenly so worried?"

"I've always been worried." I can't meet his eyes. "If…if I die…"

Severus is suddenly beside me on the mattress, placing a kind hand on my shoulder, but I still can't manage to look up at him. "We'll have time to get you away from him if it comes to that, Charlotte. He wants you around the baby for a short time before he… We'll use that time to help you escape."

I want to ask if we'll be able to save my child as well, but I know that Voldemort will keep his Death Eaters around that baby constantly to ensure that nothing happens to him. But I have this short moment right now, this moment where I truly believe Severus will help me escape, and I reach forward and embrace him, letting my forehead rest against his chest. "Thank you," I whisper. I let myself relax for a moment, then pull away from him. "Just one more question." He watches me patiently, and I take that as permission to continue. "Is it possible for me to hide in your office until the students return? I don't think I want to face any of the students and certainly not the Carrows."

A grin comes to his face. "I don't see why not. It wouldn't be the first time you've hidden in here from the rest of the castle."

"I appreciate you. I mean that."

"I know."

"But I'm guessing that I can't disappear completely for the next few days, can I? Long enough to avoid Malfoy Manor and the Death Eaters when they come searching for me?" He grimaces at me. "Yeah, I figured that was a long shot. Oh well." Which means two more peaceful nights before I have to face Voldemort again. I sigh at the thought. Oh no. I'll have to see Bellatrix. Bellatrix, the very person who just told me that it's worth it for me to die to help Voldemort become immortal. The very person who doesn't care that her own grandson will be turned into a horcrux.

"Don't do that."

I look up at him. "Don't do what?"

"Don't think about Bellatrix and the Dark Lord. Today is Christmas. Enjoy it."

A thought comes to my mind, followed quickly by a smile tugging at my lips. "I'll try, but I kind of think I'll have to be kept preoccupied to keep her off my mind." His face remains passive for a moment before he looks away with a small shake of his head and a smile threatening the corner of his lips. "I mean, it is close enough to my trip to Malfoy Manor that no one would question—" A gentle kiss cuts me off, and I laugh into his mouth. "Well that didn't take much." I fist the front of his shirt and crawl onto his lap.

When I open my eyes that Saturday morning, I'm unsurprised to find myself curled on Severus's bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around me, but I am surprised to find that Severus is not lying on his side of the bed. Is he okay? I reach over and slide my hand around on his empty half of the mattress. It's cool, which means he's been gone for a while. I watch the space, trying to figure out what time it might be and why Severus might be gone so early that the sun isn't even shining through the window. As if he knows I'm thinking about him, he steps out of the bathroom in his robes. His eyes land on mine. "I didn't believe you'd wake up for quite some time yet."

"What time is it?" I grumble.

"Early. You've got time before you have to go to the manor."

"If it's so early, why are you awake?"

He shrugs. "I couldn't sleep. Why're you awake?"

"I don't actually know." A small smile comes to my face. "Perhaps I subconsciously realized you were no longer here and was worried something or someone had abducted you." His brow furrows. "What? I can worry about you. After all, you're blatantly disrespecting the Dark Lord."

"I assure you that you do not have worry about me. Especially not here in the castle."

"But I do. Worry, I mean. I don't want you to get hurt. And for the record, I know you worry about me too. Especially when I go the manor."

He waits a short moment before simply saying, "Yes."

"And yet you know deep down that you shouldn't because is the Dark Lord really going to kill me when he needs me to birth his spawn?"

"He sent you to Azkaban," Severus counters.

"Still, he doesn't want me to die. I just can't help but worry, kind of like how you can't help but worry."

"Are you asking me not to disappear for long periods of time when you sleep in here? Or are you asking me to wake you up when I leave the bed for any reason?"

"I don't actually know," I confess. "But for a short moment when I woke up and you weren't here…I thought you were in danger."

Severus sits down on the edge of the bed, on the side where he sleeps. "If you ever wake up in here, in my chambers, you can rest easy knowing that all is fine." I slide over and rest my head on the mattress beside his leg so that I can look up at him, my hair hanging off the side of the bed. "Nothing within these walls will harm me." I reach up, take his hand, and rest my arm on his leg. "The Dark Lord… He won't kill me, Charlotte."

"I thought…I thought he wouldn't hurt Zoe either and yet…"

"I am not Zoe Accrington," he says his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. "This is not meant to be cruel, but I mean a great deal more to the Dark Lord than she did. I serve a purpose for him."

I give his hand a gentle squeeze, then pull myself upright and slide toward the edge of the bed so that we're somewhat facing one another. I put my arms around his neck. "You said it was early still, right?" He glances around the room uneasily, then looks over at me and nods. "Lie back down, Severus. You're making me tired just looking at you." He shifts almost uncomfortably, and I release him. "I can slide off the bed and put some clothes on if that's what's making you hesitate." A smirk tugs at his lips, but he doesn't respond. Instead he simply kicks off his shoes, and I shift away to give him room, then lie down beside him. I inch closer to him, and when he doesn't give any inclination that it bothers him, I put my arm around him and rest my head on his chest. "How long do I have until I have to leave for the manor?"

"Just under two hours."

"All right." I close my eyes and will myself to rest while I can.

When I finally have to rouse myself from my sleepiness and ready myself to leave for the manor, I have somewhat braced myself for my trip. I sigh loudly to voice my displeasure at having to leave, and Severus offers me a sympathetic look before I Apparate to meet whatever Death Eater will be my babysitter for the evening.

The first thing I see when I arrive at the manor is Draco rapidly coming toward me, a strange look on his face that I don't really know how to read. "Is it true?" he whispers, taking me into his arms. "Does Rodolphus know?"

I jerk away. "Who told you?"

"Mum. Aunt Bella told her, and she told me. Charlotte, what happened?"

"Where is he? Is he here? Is Rodolphus here?" Panic is the only thing I can process right now, and all I need is an answer. But I don't actually want to ask the question.

My cousin shakes his head. "I haven't seen him in for a while."

"Rabastan?"

Draco shakes his head again. I rush from the room, though I don't really know who I'm hunting or where I'm running. I just need something. My frantic search for I-don't-know-what stops abruptly when I collide into Narcissa and almost flatten her as we fall to the floor. As quickly as I can I roll away from her and push to my feet but do not run away. With a breathless apology I help her to her feet.

"Charlotte, what's gotten into you?" she asks quietly.

"Where is Rodolphus? Where is he? Where is my father?"

She opens her mouth slightly but snaps it shut. "Charlotte, listen—"

"No, tell me where he is!"

"I am afraid that I cannot."

Huffing, I turn to leave, but she grabs me by the arms and pulls me back into her embrace. "I didn't realize things were this bad, Charlotte." I don't reply. "Bellatrix told me about the horcrux."

"Yeah, well…"

I stand there for a few seconds, peacefully in my aunt's arms, letting myself feel a short moment of calm before I undoubtedly lose my mind when they tell me what's become of my father. A question finds its way out of me before I can stifle it. "Why does she think it's a good thing that I die for him?"

Narcissa pulls back far enough to look me in the eye, a certain dampness on her cheeks desperately making me want to look away from her despite my inability to. "She didn't to begin with, Charlotte. You must understand that Bellatrix lives to serve the Dark Lord. When she learned of your fate, she was devastated. I was with her. I witnessed it. She was distraught, in her own way. She sat in her room downstairs and stared at me blankly. It is a rare thing that my sister loses her voice. And it is rarer still that she allow herself to cry.

"But she did. And almost an hour later she convinced herself that this was for the best.

"Then she declared that she must tell Rodolphus the truth. She said she was certain he would be at Lestrange Cottage, and if he wasn't, she knew where to find him. Before I could change her mind, Charlotte, she was gone. You were there with him, weren't you?"

I nod.

"Your father fought with her, didn't he?" I nod again. "Then you left."

"What happened to my father?"

"I cannot tell you. It is forbidden."

"I don't give a damn about what is 'forbidden'! You tell me what's become of him! I deserve to know!"

She looks away from me, so I violently jerk out of her arms and storm off. She does not try to follow me.

Again I'm not completely sure of where I'm going, but a short moment after turning the corner, I decide to go to the guest room to gather myself in solitude until I can confront the Dark Lord about my father's whereabouts.

My heart breaks at the thought of him being tortured because I couldn't keep a secret. The bed seems comfortingly familiar when I step into the room, and I slide under the sheets, wrap my arms around a pillow, and allow myself to cry myself to sleep with thoughts of my father's murder flowing through my mind.

Someone viciously shaking my shoulders wakes me up. After forcing my eyes open, I see that it is Draco. I'm not too surprised. "They're searching for you," he whispers.

"What time is it?"

His face saddens. "It's…time…" He helps me to my feet and leads me down the stairs to where Narcissa and—to my utter surprise and fury—Bellatrix are waiting for me. "Be strong."

My aunt and my mother take my arms and begin ushering me down the corridor. No one speaks. I don't look at Bellatrix. Can't bring myself to do it. How can she willingly go along with Voldemort killing me? Whatever happened to her loving me?

I know what happened. Voldemort happened. To her, I will never be as important as he is. Though some might choose me over him with relative ease, Bellatrix Lestrange never will.

We stop at the door to the room, and Narcissa hugs me one last time. Bellatrix tries, but I put my hands on her shoulders and force her away. "Don't you dare touch me," I growl. "I'll be dead soon because of you." Okay, I know it was a bit harsh, and I immediately regret it when I see the pain on her face, but I don't take it back. I keep my face straight and glare into her eyes. Then I spin on my heel and enter the room without saying another word.

I stand in the middle of the room for nearly five minutes before Voldemort enters. He looks at me, mockery on his face. "I am curious," he says, "as to how you sneaked by the Carrows in order to leave Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I believe you do. I am not asking you tell me. I am demanding it."

"And since when have I ever cared what you 'demand' of me?"

His gaze darkens. "You care nothing about my demands," he agrees. "But you care a great deal about your father, do you not? Would you like to know where he is, why he was not here to watch after you this afternoon?"

My breath catches.

"Yes, I thought you might." He takes a step close to me. "Now, how did you sneak around the Carrows?"

"The Disillusionment Charm," I lie.

"And you went to Lestrange Cottage to be with you father?"

"I didn't know he was going to be there! I wanted to be alone!"

"Your ignorance of his whereabouts does not excuse you from deliberately rebelling and telling him who you are. The punishment brought forth upon your father is a direct result of your disobedience."

I swallow down my sorrow and let my anger fester. "What have you done to him?" I ask evenly (quite an accomplishment). "Where is he?"

"He is in his home."

I have a bad feeling about what his "home" is. Voldemort wouldn't just let my father go home after this. But at least he seems to be alive. "Where is that exactly?"

"Azkaban."

With a loud shout, I rush forward, bracing myself for a fight, and ram my fists into his chest, shoving him backward. "You son of a bitch! You think I'm going to have your child now? You think I won't take my own life the moment I find out if I'm pregnant? I'll kill myself before I ever have your child."

I spin around and attempt to leave the room, but Voldemort latches onto my long black hair and yanks me backward, a yelp of pain escaping me. My back slams against his chest, and he brings his hand around me and up to my neck. He grips it tightly. "It is no one's fault but your own."

"How did you know?" I croak, fighting back my tears of pain and anger and distress.

"You believe your mother keeps anything from me?"

A wail escapes me, my spirit draining right out of me. I no longer have the energy to stand. Voldemort releases me and lets me smack against the stone. He smirks down at me while I cry, then magically lifts me off the floor.

I curl onto my side on the cold floor and attempt to force my tears to stop. After a few minutes of this, I realize it's not going to work, so I give up and make myself stand. I grab up my robes and put them on, wincing and groaning at the movements. I'm not waiting for someone to come and fetch me. I open the door and try to leave.

But Bellatrix is standing there, reaching for the door. A scowl takes over my face, and I do nothing to stop it. "What do you want?" I snap.

"I came to check on you."

"Well, don't," I say, trying to push by her. "You were going to tell Rodolphus yourself, but—"

My mother grabs me by the arm and pulls me back. "Aurelia, you must understand that I had no choice. I came to my senses and realized that—"

"Really? For some reason, it always seems like you 'never have a choice.' You are a grown woman. You carve your own path."

"I have no more choice than you do when it comes to you having the Dark Lord's child."

In a fit of rage, I raise my hand and smack her across the face, whining at the effort. "Don't you EVER compare our situations!"

Bellatrix grabs my shoulders and shoves me against the wall. "Aurelia," she says dangerously, her eyes almost softening when she hears my whimper of pain, "I am still your mother, and you will treat me with respect."

"You are not my mother. McGonagall is more of a mother to me than you've ever been—and she's just a professor!" I try to wiggle out of her grip, but it does not work. "And as for my father, he is residing in Azkaban because of you."

Her face scrunches with pain, but I ignore it. "I didn't have a choice! The Dark Lord asked me what happened! Did you expect me to lie to him?"

"I expected you to care about me enough not to tell him. Then again, you don't even care that your grandson will become a horcrux. But I guess, at this point, he won't be your grandson, will he? Because you are not my mother, and I am not your daughter. The only parent I have anymore is rotting in a cell in Azkaban."

"You can't be Rodolphus's daughter without being my daughter as well, Aurelia."

"Watch me. And it's Charlotte—Charlotte Rodgers. I will never be Aurelia Celaeno Lestrange, at least not while you're alive."

Her face drops, and her grip lessens. I take this opportunity to put my hands on her and force her backward. Then I Disapparate.

I sink to the floor in Severus's private chamber and lean my head against the foot of the bed, sobs wracking my body. I hide my face in my hands. How is it that I have lost everything so quickly? I honestly believed Rodolphus would be able to help me. I honestly believed Bellatrix would care about my son becoming a horcrux.

I was wrong.

"Charlotte?" I glance up to see Severus coming toward me. He sinks down beside me. I move toward him and hide my face in his chest rather than in my hands. He wraps his arms around me. "What's happened?"

"He's in Azkaban—my father is in Azkaban. He's in Azkaban because I told him the truth!"

"You can't blame yourself," the headmaster says logically.

"Can't I though? I told him the truth. Bellatrix found out. Bellatrix was asked of the Dark Lord. She told him. Now my father is in Azkaban because of it. Tell me, how is that not my fault?"

"He deserved to know. And when the Dark Lord is killed, I will go with you personally to retrieve him."

"Because the Dark Lord's new Minister of Magic is going to just let Rodolphus Lestrange walk right out of Azkaban, yeah?"

"We will find a way."

And I believe him. I believe that I will be able to save my father. I reach up and kiss Severus's cheek. "Thank you," I whisper. We continue sitting on the floor for a while before I say, very quietly, "I'm scared, Severus. It's been six months since this whole thing started, and I am not pregnant. What will the Dark Lord do to me if I can't have children?"

"I doubt if he'll be around too much longer, Charlotte. But if you are unable to have his child, would that not be a good thing?"

"I'm not saying it would be bad thing for me not to have his child, but what will he do to me?"

"I don't believe he'll find out that you are incapable of having children."

"But what if I want children someday, but after all he has put me through, I can't?"

"I don't believe that will be the case," is his only answer.

"Say I get pregnant, but say it's your child. What then?"

"I will help you. No one can know that the child is mine, of course, but I can help you."

I look up into his eyes. "You'll help me?"

"Did you ever believe that I wouldn't?"

I smile at him. "I just like to be reassured."

It's comforting to know that Severus will always be there for me.

I'm not super happy with how this part ended, but I didn't want to drag it out, so here it is. The first chapter of Part 4 will be up soon!