CHAPTER 1

Almost a week following Severus's promise to help me rescue my father, I realized one of my greatest mistakes: I've put McGonagall in danger (again) and must now warn her. I don't know how I could have been so stupid or how it's taken me so long to realize what I've done, but now that it's occurred to me, I have no choice but to try to give her a heads-up at the very least.

After breakfast with Severus following a restless night's sleep during which I worried greatly for McGonagall's well-being because of my stupidity, I take a short breath and say, "I think it's time Charlotte Rodgers return to Hogwarts for a while." Is it horrible of me that I could just stay in his office until Voldemort is dead? Just hide out here forever? Possibly. I don't actually care that much though. I've grown accustomed to wanting to spend most of my time with him now.

"Has something happened?"

"I said some things to Bellatrix about Professor McGonagall and need to warn her."

His eyes watch me kindly. "It's your decision," he says, waving his wand to send away our plates and cups and clean off the table. "Will you return here, or will you lock yourself away for the rest of the holiday?"

I look into his black eyes, and a smile comes to my face. "Will I be a distraction to you if I return?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Then I'll come back here. I've got a few more days before I have to become a 'real' student, I guess."

I smile at him weakly, then reach up and press a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'll be back." After another wave of his wand and a slight nod from him, I Apparate to the second-floor girls' bathroom. As I make my way through the castle, Zoe comes to my mind—I've put McGonagall in danger just like I put Zoe in danger. She's still with you, a voice says to me. I don't really believe it, of course. Voldemort took her from me, quite like he'd take McGonagall as well if he knew how much I cared for her. So I have to protect her the best that I can. Which essentially just means warning her because she's more powerful than I will ever be and can take care of herself.

I wait a moment outside McGonagall's office, wondering whether I have the courage and lack of self-consciousness to should admit to her what I've said to antagonize Bellatrix. Knowing that this must be done so she can be prepared in case Bellatrix decides to attack out of pettiness, I shake off my doubt and knock on her door, entering only when she calls out to give permission.

"Good morning, Professor."

For a split second, she seems rather shocked to see me but reins it in quickly. "Good morning, Rodgers. You're back early."

"Things got complicated. I was causing Christopher's family pain, so I left."

"Because you look like his sister?"

"That and other things. But that's not really why I'm here. Or it's not the most pressing issue at least. I might have—no, I'm sure of it—put you in danger, Professor. Again. I was angry and wanted to hurt Bellatrix for some things she said to me and, in the process, said some things that she might want to find a way to hurt you for." She waits patiently for me to continue. "I told Rodolphus the truth and Bellatrix found out. The Dark Lord asked her, and . . . and she told him everything. He's—he's in Azkaban now. Because of Bellatrix. So I wanted to hurt her. Told her that she isn't really much of a mother to me. Told her"—I glance away—"told her that you were more of a mother figure to me than she's ever been. It was a great personal offense, and I fear she might try to retaliate against you." I run my hands across my thighs, trying to dry them as well as just trying to find something for them to do. My heart races, heat rises to my cheeks. "I wanted to warn you." With great effort, I force myself to look back at her, but she doesn't look bothered by anything I've said. "She might try to seek revenge by harming you and I . . . I'm sorry I've put you in this position."

"I have greater things to worry about than Bellatrix Lestrange, I assure you."

That's not necessarily a calming thought, but at least she won't lose any sleep over Bellatrix's hatred.

After a long moment of silence, she says, "So you told Rodolphus the truth? How did you find him?"

Despite everything, a smile tugs at my lips.

For the rest of the holiday, I spend all my time in Severus's chambers, only leaving a few times to make appearances around the castle, so the Death Eaters and McGonagall know that I'm still alive, but I mostly stay just with Severus. No one bothers me when I'm in here, and spending time with just him is the single most relaxing part of my life. A lot of our time is spent working together—he'll Conjure a desk to work on, and I sit across from him and work on all of this homework that N.E.W.T.-level students must finish.

At times it almost feels like we're back at Spinner's End, which brings me more joy than I'm willing to admit.

Unfortunately, not everything can last. Tomorrow the other students will be arriving back at Hogwarts, and my time with Severus will be destroyed. My biggest disappointment about classes starting again is the fact that I must once again see the Carrows. We've all avoided one another when they catch sight of me in the hallways, but that won't be an option for very long. While I assume they must have spoken to Severus about my escape, Merlin knows what he told them. I should probably find out soon, just in case they ask.

But that is a problem for later because right now I'm relaxing in Severus's chambers, lying across the sofa and waiting for him to return from his office. About ten minutes ago, he left to speak with Dumbledore.

When he finally comes back, though, something is wrong. There's a pained expression on his face, and he's slightly paler than normal. "Charlotte, I got a letter," he says gently, lifting my legs enough for him to sit down beside me and lower them onto his lap. "I have bad news." I sit up straight, bringing myself closer to him. "The Dark Lord is requiring you to go back to the manor twice next month."

Tears spring to my eyes immediately. "No," I say shaking my head, "no, that's not the deal."

"Charlotte—"

"I won't—"

"You don't have a choice, I'm sorry."

I wrap my arms around him and sob against him. "This—this is—is punishment for—for my dad, isn't it?"

He holds me closely. "You'll be fine, Charlotte."

No, I won't.

Severus lifts me off the sofa and carries me over to the bed. He lets me cry against him until I fall asleep.

On the day that the other students are to arrive, I embrace Severus, kiss his cheek, and, with tears in my eyes, Apparate to the bathroom as usual.

Then I make my way to the dungeon and wait there, taking a seat by the fire and facing the door. When it finally opens, the room explodes with a loud commotion, voices filling the once-empty space, as students flood in and head to their dormitories to unload all of their belongings. The second-years and the Greengrass sisters all enter as well. Christopher takes one look at me and immediately starts up the stairs without acknowledging my existence; Julia follows him, speaking quietly. The rest of the group approaches me happily and take seats around me. "How was your holiday?" I ask airily.

"So what happened at Christopher's place?" Jacob says.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Christopher and Julia won't tell us, but something obviously happened. Care to share?"

All the joy from my time with Severus drains away instantly, almost as if those days of happiness meant nothing at all now that I'm facing my friends knowing that keeping secrets has already hurt one of them so badly. I exhale heavily. "If he doesn't want to tell—"

"Don't pawn this off on him," Jacob says. "He said it was your secret to tell."

"I can't," I say quietly. "It's not—it's not something I can talk about. It's just not."

"I don't believe you," Ella says, not unkindly. "He was distraught, Charlotte, but he said it wasn't his place to say anything. Whatever the problem is, he said he cannot be around you right now. He said you lied to all of us. And have been lying."

"You act like I want to."

"I don't know if you do or not, but he's hurting, and if it comes to a choice, he needs us more than you do. I'm sorry."

"I understand. All I will tell you is that the Death Eater who killed his sister thought she was me. We look alike. I can't say why he wanted to kill me, but that's what happened. And that's all I can say."

"Did you do something to anger the Death Eater?" Jacob asks.

"Technically yes, but that's not why he wanted to kill me. He wanted to kill me out of pity. Regrettably, he made a mistake and killed her instead."

"Who?" Ella asks.

"Rodolphus Lestrange."

Daphne gasps and casts a glance at me. Ella ignores her and says, "Why did he want to kill you out of pity?"

"The thing the Dark Lord is forcing me to do—the reason he killed Zoe—is indescribably painful and will likely eventually end with my death. He wanted to spare me from that and killed Helena, thinking she was me and thinking he was saving me. So I'm alive and Helena is dead instead, and Christopher didn't take it well."

Ella nods gravely. "I see. It seems out of your control. I don't blame you—"

"Neither do I," Jacob interjects.

"—but he needs us right now." The two of them stand and make their way up the stairs to the boys' dormitories, no doubt going to join Julia and Christopher. I deserve to be back in Azkaban with my father. My heart drops suddenly. Azkaban. Did the Death Eaters take Luna to Azkaban?

"It'll be fine," Daphne says encouragingly.

I nod, unable to speak anymore about the subject. "I'll be back soon. Need to clear my head." Neither Greengrass sister tries to stop me as I leave the common room, realizing in this moment that I have been incredibly selfish and consumed with my own happiness that I never bothered to find out from Severus where Luna was taken. Unable to stomach the thought of not knowing whether she's in that awful prison—and hoping that if Severus were truthful about trying to help me free my father, he might help me free Luna as well—I start toward his office, praying to get some answers soon.

The path to Severus's office feels so familiar now that I hardly have to think about which direction to take to arrive there as quickly as possible. I start up the stairs and knock on the door. He calls for me to enter and seems surprised to see me, clearly having not expected me to stop by. "Charlotte? Is everything all right?"

"I just realized that I was so distracted over the holiday that I failed to ask you about—about Luna. She was abducted from the train."

"I'm aware."

"You don't sound concerned. Whatever happened to you protecting the students?"

"You act is if I could have prevented that from happening. She was taken from the Hogwarts Express, far out of my reach."

"I know," I sigh. "Just . . . can you promise that if we find a way to rescue my father from Azkaban, we'll rescue her too? Promise me."

His brow furrows, and his head tilts to the side a little. "Azkaban? What makes you think she's in Azkaban?"

"Where else would—"

"Charlotte, she's at Malfoy Manor, locked in the same cell you were once detained in."

Despite how awful this must be for Luna, a strong relief washes over me. "Oh, I didn't . . . I didn't realize . . . So she's not withering in Azkaban? You're certain?"

"Yes."

I exhale, trying to recalibrate and remove the fear from my chest. She's not in Azkaban. You were not so negligent a friend that she was in Azkaban and you never asked about her well-being. You are not that awful. Another thought occurs to me and forces me to ask him, "What will they do to her?"

"Hold her for ransom or as blackmail, most likely. They'll try to force her father to stop printing the truths in The Quibbler."

"And—do you think she's safe in Malfoy Manor? Will they hurt her?"

"I don't know."

Though Luna and I are not that close and know very little about each other, I do know for certain that she is strong. She can make it. She will be fine. It likely won't be a great experience for her, but she will survive.

Severus watches me closely. "No one can know where she is."

I nod at him. "I'll tell no one. Thank you. Knowing she's not in Azkaban is—it's really all I was worried about." I look down at my feet. You're not there, there are no dementors here, you are safe.

Are you really safe? Voldemort plans to kill you, and your own mother plans to let him.

You'll never truly be safe until he's dead. He can always put you back in—

"Charlotte," he says softly, drawing me out of my spiraling thoughts. "She is fine. She is not in Azkaban. And neither are you."

"Thank you. I should head back to the dungeon. Thank you, truly. Have a good day."

"Likewise," he says to me as the door closes behind me.

I stop halfway down the stairwell and take slow, steadying breaths. Is it cold in here?

No, stop it. She's not in Azkaban, and neither are you.

But my dad is.

Is he freezing right now? Having his happy memories of discovering the truth about me used against him? Have I made this worse for him by telling him the truth?

My breath catches in my throat, and I brace heavily against the wall, a stifled, panicked gasp escaping me. You're fine, you're fine.

Taking a few minutes to bite back the steadily rising terror in my chest and the stinging tears from my eyes helps calm me slightly. Then I continue down the steps, hoping to escape this dark, enclosed space as fast as possible.

The gargoyle statue moves aside when I reach it, and taking the first step out of the stairwell almost feels like a breeze blows over me. The air feels fresher, less stifling, cooler, and I stop for a moment while the gargoyle moves to its place once more to take a few more breaths. As I walk away from Severus's office and turn the corner, two hands grab me and throw me to the floor, and a spell hits my face and covers my eyes with a black blindfold. The Carrows have certainly gotten better at ambushing, but who authorized it?

A force yanks me off my feet and carries me forward a little before throwing me down to the cold hard stone. I tear the blindfold from my eyes, preparing to begin threatening the Carrows but come up voiceless when it's not the Carrows who are looking at me, wands drawn and aimed at me. Three Ravenclaw boys, each a member of Dumbledore's Army, stand before me. This makes no sense. "What—what's going on?"

Two of them lower their wands, but Michael Corner keeps his aimed at my chest, a furious scowl across his face. "What are we doing? What are you doing?"

"I don't—"

"Luna gets taken by Death Eaters, and suddenly you become friends with Snape?" Terry Boot says.

"I—"

"Shut up!" This comes from Anthony Goldstein. "You've betrayed us, Charlotte! You were one of us! You were one of us!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't even on the train when—"

"You're with Snape, aren't you?" Michael says.

The blood drains from my face. They can't know; that is simply impossible. No one knows besides Severus and me. "Does Neville know what you're doing? Does Ginny? Or Seamus?"

"This is between the Ravenclaws and the traitor," Terry says, pointing his wand at me once again. "This has nothing to do with them."

Despite searching for any way out of this and trying to find something to say, nothing comes to mind. I'm too shocked—since when are Ravenclaws the type to ambush and threaten someone? Though I suppose I would be upset too if one of my housemates had been taken by Death Eaters—given that I actually grew up around my housemates and actually cared about their well-being. In other words, I guess I would be this upset if one of the second-years or the Greengrass sisters had been taken by Death Eaters, especially if I saw a student conversing with a reclusive known Death Eater who doesn't fraternize with anyone shortly after the abduction.

It makes sense for the three of them to be so furious, but this is more than I have the strength to deal with—there's not enough emotional, mental, or physical stamina left in me to try to argue or fight my way out of this. "Listen," I say, trying to keep my voice as calm and even as I can right now, "this isn't what you think. I wasn't on the train. How could I have helped protect her?"

"So you weren't with Snape just a moment ago?" Michael asks sarcastically. "You weren't just in his office?"

"I was."

"Then it is exactly as it seems!" Anthony says. "Where have they taken her?"

"I don't—"

"Stop lying!" Michael says. "We saw you go up to his office! You knew the password and everything. Why would he give you the password? Tell us the truth!"

Very carefully and very slowly, I start standing to my feet. They are not Death Eaters, they will not kill you. "Listen. Why don't we go talk to Neville about this? I'm part of the D.A. I would never turn against Luna. She's a friend. Please, you have to believe me." Terry looks as if he is tempted to listen to me, and I feel the slightest boost in my confidence. "You have to realize that I would not just go speak with a Death Eater right after something this tragic has happened. Please, you know that doesn't make sense."

"Perhaps you're just a fool."

"Come on, I've been a member of Dumbledore's Army while being in Slytherin. A fool could not pull that off, and you know it. If I were involved in Luna's capture, I would not be stupid enough to go speak with a Death Eater when everyone can see."

Michael's eyes tell me he's debating my words, weighing each of them carefully while he tries to decide what to do next. "Then why were you speaking with Snape? You've spoken with him more this year than any other student. You went to the staff table when he was eating up there and tried to talk with him. Tell me it's not a coincidence that you happen to be on speaking terms with the three Death Eaters at Hogwarts."

"I am absolutely not on speaking terms with the Carrows."

"Then why do they pull you out of meals so often, why—"

"Because they're nosy bitches who think I'm hiding something."

"Wherever would they get that idea, I wonder," Anthony comments.

"You even seem friendly with Snape last year," Terry says. "How is that possible if you're not with the Death Eaters? Why else would he be—"

"Because I was nice and respectful toward him," I say, narrowing my eyes, "so he didn't mind when I asked questions or requested help with assignments. I thought our rapport would be beneficial now too—I went to speak with Snape to find out about Luna. I'm Slytherin, he helped me last year with assignments. He was more likely to answer my questions than any other student in this castle. I'm loyal to the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore and Dumbledore's Army. I thought the D.A. would've wanted answers."

"You were close to Malfoy, right?" Anthony asks cruelly.

"Yes."

"And his father is a Death Eater. And his mother's sister is the crazed Bellatrix Lestrange," Anthony says. "How are we supposed to believe that you're loyal to the D.A. when you have such close connections to Death Eaters?"

"Had I been on the train, I would have fought alongside each of you. I would have done whatever I could. I would have tried to save her. But I was not on the train."

"Do you know what'll happen to Luna?" Terry asks quietly. "Did Snape tell you anything?"

"No, he was incredibly unhelpful. He and the Carrows are beginning to dislike me. But I don't think the Death Eaters will kill her. My guess is that she was taken because her father continued printing the truth in The Quibbler."

The three of them exchange expressions as if debating whether or to believe me. They seem to come to a consensus before Michael turns to me and says, "Why don't we keep quiet about this whole exchange? We don't need word getting around that there's infighting in the D.A."

"Fine." They all put their wands back into their robes. "And if I hear anything about Luna, you'll be some of the first to know."

They nod. "We'll, uh, we'll leave first. Give it a few minutes, so no one speculates about what happened," Michael replies. Without waiting for an answer, the three Ravenclaw boys leave the room.

I lower myself back to the floor and take a few breaths. I have to be more careful about going to speak to Severus. Had those three not been so upset about Luna, it's doubtful that I would have been able to convince them of my innocence.

If I have learned anything at all, it is that I must be more careful about going to speak to Severus. I'm unsure if I could have convinced them of my innocence had they not been so upset about Luna. Going to the Headmaster's Tower whenever I want is no longer safe. Anyone could be watching me, could attack me upon my return back down.