CHAPTER 9

Daphne and I sit on her bed, the curtains drawn around us, our conversation muffled from the nosy students sharing the dormitory with us. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask her quietly even though no one can really hear us anyway. "Azkaban is—it's worse than anything you can ever imagine. And you—you could die. I won't lie about that. I don't want anything to happen to you, but I can't make any promises about what might happen. And I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. And how would I explain it to your family?"

"I've made up my mind, Charlotte. I won't let you go there alone—well, with just you, a Death Eater, and whatever other friend you're taking. I'm of age. If You-Know-Who were to lay siege to Hogwarts and the students had to take up arms in the castle's defense, I'm sure they would let those of us who are of age decide for ourselves whether or not we want to fight against him and his Death Eaters. I'm of age, and I'm choosing for myself to go to Azkaban with you." She takes my hand in hers, her face becoming a little pink. "You're my best friend, and I won't let you get hurt without me at the very least trying to help you. Besides, another Patronus will be beneficial, and you know that."

I look away from her, and her hand releases mine. She's right, of course, but I don't want anything to happen to her. "I mean, I understand that. I just . . . why risk your life like this? For a Death Eater? A Death Eater who alongside his wife and brother and what's-his-name—"

"Barty Crouch, Jr."

"Whatever. He tortured the Longbottoms to insanity. And the person we're going into Azkaban with helped him. Why would you even remotely be willing to risk yourself for someone like that?"

She moves closer to me, close enough that our knees are touching. "Because he's your father, and you love him. Besides, is he willing to help you get away from You-Know-Who?"

"Yes."

"Then it's worth trying to get him out of Azkaban. Anyone who can save you from—from the death You-Know-Who has threatened . . ."

My chest tightens. "All right. And you'll feel safe—or somewhat safe enough—being around Rabastan Lestrange?"

"I'm helping him save his brother. He'd better be grateful and not try to intimidate me. Besides, his favorite little niece will be with me, and I'm sure if he tried to harm me, she'd stop him."

"I don't know him well enough to make those kinds of promises."

She grins. "I'm choosing to be optimistic."

I take out Alphard's pocket watch to check the time. "We should get some rest, yeah? We've got a big day ahead of us."

She grimaces, a slightly irritated look in her eye. "You're leaving the dormitory, aren't you?"

"Yes. But you really do need to get some rest—I want you to be completely aware and ready when we enter that hellhole tomorrow, yeah?"

"What about you? How late are you planning to stay out tonight?"

"There's stuff I have to do, but it won't be super late. I'll get plenty of rest, I assure you." I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself, then push her curtains aside and get out of the bed. In silence I make my way down to the common room. Very few people are down here, and I slide out the exit, not caring if they see the door open and close without anyone leaving or entering.

I sprint to the bathroom on the second floor and Apparate immediately.

Severus is sitting at the foot of his bed when I arrive, and he stands to greet me. "Charlotte, I must ask again that you not go with me. That neither you nor Miss Greengrass go with me tomorrow. I do not want to risk—I don't want anything to happen to either of you."

Grinning up at him, I step closer to him and lock my hands behind his neck. "Severus, as much as I appreciate how much you seem to worry about me, I will not change my mind."

"I know. I had to try one more time."

"We're going to be fine. We're going to storm into Azkaban, rescue my father, and come out of there unscathed. We're going to be perfectly fine. Daphne will be too."

"You seem so confident."

"I have faith in you." I stand up on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his lips. "But, assuming something bad might happen to one or both of us—"

"We're going into Azkaban, so that is a very real possibility."

"Merlin, stop being so doom and gloom about this. All I'm saying is that if we're going into Azkaban and risking all of this—I mean, we could die, God forbid, but it's a possibility. And if I'm going to be risking that, risking you, I want to make the most of my time with you now." I stretch up and kiss him again.

He places his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him. "Isn't this a bad omen? The idea of one last night together before a dangerous mission?"

With very little pressure on his shoulders, I convince him to sit down on the foot of the bed, then crawl onto the bed after him and straddle his legs. "That's not how I see it," I say. "I see it as preparing ourselves. We're dispelling our excess energy and putting ourselves into the best mental state before attempting to take on a dangerous mission." I roll my hips against his and smile at his quiet groan. "But, I mean, if you think it'd be better not to jinx ourselves or whatever, I can just go back to—" He cuts me off with a swift kiss. "Besides," I say, "if something happens—if one of us is injured—I want to know that I didn't waste what joy I have in this world."

A smile comes to his face. "The joy you have in this world?"

"Our time together, obviously."

It suddenly hits me just how true those words are: he is truly the greatest part of my life. My throat grows tight. If something happens to him tomorrow, it's unlikely I would ever be able to continue living. I would have to hand myself over to the dementors because the thought of him not being here with me, not facing Voldemort with me, is unfathomable. I need him in my life more than I'm willing to admit to him or to myself. His grip on me tightens, his eyes looking slightly misty. "Charlotte," he says softly.

"It's true, Severus." I pull his lips to mine, threading my hands through his hair. I shift off him, keeping a grip on the front of robes, and slide further up the bed, halfway dragging him with me. "Now, come on. I want to enjoy our time together."

He just smiles.

It's the morning of the Hogsmeade trip, and I am lying in Severus's bed, my head resting on the pillow as I look across at him staring at the ceiling. "So what happens when I meet him? When I tell him I'm going with him?"

"'Gideon' has planned to meet Rabastan at the Lestrange Estate."

"Why does he think Mr. Collins trusts him? How did you make him believe that?"

"He thinks it's for you, actually," Severus says, turning to face me. "Gideon regrets what happened at Christmas, and he knows everything that you're going through. He wants to help you, and he thinks rescuing your father might do that."

"Despite the fact that Rodolphus and Rabastan killed his daughter?"

"And let his wife live."

"But still—"

"Charlotte," Severus says, "you mean a great deal to young Christopher Collins. His father wants to help you, because what you're going through is disproportionately unfair for someone your age. You're tortured by the Dark Lord on a regular basis, you may or may not have to give birth to his child, your mother is a Death Eater who seems perfectly fine with your death if it serves her lord's nefarious purposes, you—"

"Are you trying to make me cry?"

He reaches across the empty space on the bed and cups my check with his hand in a warmly comforting gesture. "No. What I'm saying is that you live a rough life, and it makes sense that the people who care about you would want to help you escape all of that."

"Fine. Just try not to set him off, because he might actually attack, you know? If he senses Gideon might be a threat—or if he thinks Gideon wants revenge for Helena."

"I don't fear Rabastan Lestrange, I assure you."

"Can you take Polyjuice Potion twice like that? Won't you be posing as Mr. Collins when you take the Draco potion?"

"It'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Are you questioning my knowledge of potions?"

"Well, you did take the Liquid Luck before testing it and almost died."

"There were . . . extenuating circumstances."

I smile at him and cover his hand with mine. "I should probably go before my friends try to wake me up for breakfast." He nods, and I crawl out of the bed and start to gather my clothes off the floor. "I'm incredibly nervous," I say to him once I've found all my clothes placed them on the bed.

He looks over at me. "About Azkaban or about seeing Rabastan?"

I frown at him, the thought processing really quickly. "Both?"

"I'd be surprised if you weren't nervous."

Once I've dressed myself, I reach over and place my hand on his shin through the sheets. "I'll see you soon, Severus." I Apparate to the bathroom, then cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and head back to the Slytherin Dungeon. No one is awake when I sneak back inside and quietly lie back down, making sure to remove the charm from around myself.

I'm awoken a short time later by Daphne gently nudging my shoulder. "Get up, Charlotte, it's Hogsmeade day." I groan at her and roll over. She nudges me harder. "Get up!"

I pry my eyes open and moan, "What?"

"Get ready, we're going to Hogsmeade." She grabs my arm and starts pulling me off the bed. "Get up."

I throw my legs onto the floor. "Fine."

"Go shower. We have a big day ahead of us."

Right. We're going to Azkaban today. I shudder but force myself to the bathroom to get ready.

Daphne is sitting on the edge of my bed when I emerge. "Come on!" She loops her arm through mine and leads me down to the common room. Astoria is missing from our group when we arrive, so we don't leave yet.

"So what're you planning to do in Hogsmeade today?" Jacob asks me and Daphne.

I shrug. "Causing trouble, eating snacks."

"Visiting the joke shop, probably," Daphne adds.

"Maybe."

"That sounds so average," Jacob complains. "You're ruining your trip to Hogsmeade! Do you know what we would do if we could go?"

"Set something on fire?"

He scoffs at me. "Maybe. I sure wouldn't stay in Hogsmeade though, that's for sure. Go on an adventure. For our sakes."

"Maybe. We'll think about it."

Astoria rushes down the stairs, straight past us, and to the door. "What're you waiting for? I'm starving!" She disappears, and we all follow her.

My stomach turns angrily as I try to force down some food. Azkaban. It's finally beginning to weigh on me. Azkaban. How can I possibly be willing to go back to that terrible place, be willing to risk my life like this? Because it's for my dad, of course. It's my fault he's there, so I must help get him out. He is worth the risk. Especially if he can help me escape Voldemort before I must die. I take a deep breath, and Daphne places a kind hand on my leg. She must feel my nervous energy.

"So are you sticking with these boring fools today?" I hear Christopher ask Astoria.

"Actually, I'm going to the Three Broomsticks with some of my Muggle Studies class."

"That's even more boring than what they're doing," Ella mutters.

"Shut up," I laugh. If only they knew what we are actually doing.

By the time we're walking down to Hogsmeade, I am almost ready to vomit with each and every step. Halfway between the castle and the village, my hand snatches Daphne's arms, my eyes closed as my stomach prepares to empty itself from what little breakfast I choked down earlier. "Charlotte?"

Deep breaths, deep breaths. "I'm fine."

"I told you to eat more."

Deep breaths, deep breaths. "I'm fine." My legs start walking again of their own accord. "Come on."

When we reach the village, Daphne stops us and pulls me into a tight hug. "We'll be fine. I'll see you shortly."

I Apparate straight to Lestrange Cottage. "Rabastan? Rabastan, are you here?"

"Yes," comes the answer from another room. He enters, carrying a small bag that he throws over his shoulder when he sees me, and I lose my breath for a moment, not having realized how much he looks like my dad because last time I saw him, his face was cleanshaven, whereas now he wears a short beard and could pass as Rodolphus at a quick glance. "Aurelia," he says with a broad smile on his face, "it's good to see you again. You know, when your parents aren't fighting in front of us and making everyone uncomfortable."

"Or when you're not ambushing me and throwing me to the wolves. Just so you know, I haven't forgiven you for the part you played in that."

He glances away from me, an almost defeated expression on his face. "For the record, we did tell you to run."

"For the record, you should have warned us long before you ambushed us." He inclines his head as if accepting what I've just said. "What's in the bag?"

"Chocolate."

"Brilliant."

An awkward silence settles into the room for a long moment before he says, "Have you come to stop me? Because while I'm prepared to fight you, I'd rather not. I don't want to risk harming you."

"No, I'd never try to stop you. I came to join you. I've been in contact with Mr. Collins, and I want to help rescue my dad."

A wide smile cracks across his face, but when he speaks, his voice is stern. "No, I can't let you do that. Rodolphus would never forgive me for allowing you to come to Azkaban with me."

"You can't produce a corporeal Patronus, Rabastan. You'll need more than one of them to get through Azkaban—but you know that, you've been there. So my friend and I will be joining you and Mr. Collins."

"Not a chance."

"Shall I go warn someone that you're about to attempt to break into Azkaban? What would the Dark Lord say?"

"You'd ruin your father's life like that?"

I swallow. "It's better than you and Mr. Collins dying. We can get my father out later if it comes to it."

"What's stopping me from trapping you here while I go free my brother?"

"My friend will sound the alarm if I'm not back in half an hour. So you really have no choice." I smile at the frustrated frown on his face. "But there's one thing we have to do before we can go to Azkaban." When he doesn't speak, I continue, "We have to go steal some of Draco's hair so my friend doesn't question why Mr. Collins is helping free Rodolphus Lestrange from Azkaban. We've spoken about it—he agrees."

He laughs quietly. "Has anyone told you that you're a lot like your father?" My heart lightens. His voice is almost giddy as he says, "Come on then—let's go rob Malfoy Manor." He offers me his arm, which I accept, and then Apparates us to the hallway just outside Draco's room in the manor. "Do you think Bellatrix is here right now? Nothing would bring me more joy than picking a fight with her."

"Go for it. Get in a few hits on my behalf, will you? Just keep everyone away from this spot."

He nods, then Disapparates, while I enter Draco's room and make my way toward his bathroom to find his hairbrush. My jaw clenches in annoyance when I see the comb he uses. How am I supposed to get a hair off that? I stare down at it angrily, this foil of our plans. "You need something, Charlotte?"

I start and turn around. "Draco?" I breathe, trying to act normal. "What are you doing?"

"In my room? The real question is, what are you doing? Is it safe to assume you're here with Rabastan who is currently screaming at Bellatrix downstairs?"

I shrug. "I don't know what he does or why he does it. Bellatrix effectively kept us apart when she sent my father to Azkaban."

"Does Snape know you're here?"

"Only you know I'm here."

His eyes drift to the comb in my hand and then back to me. With a knowing smirk coming to his lips, he leans against the doorframe. "Really? What do you need my hair for?"

"I don't."

"Am I going to be caught doing something illegal or dangerous in the near future?"

"I wouldn't know. What do you do when I'm not here?"

He sighs. "I don't leave the manor much." He takes a few steps toward me and plucks a few strands of hair from his head. "Just please don't get caught, Charlotte. I do not want to explain to anyone that I aided you."

"I would never."

There's a quiet pop! from somewhere behind us, followed by an annoyed, "Fuck." Draco and I step out of the bathroom to face Rabastan. "Listen, little Malfoy, I don't want to hurt you—"

"Charlotte has my hair. I suggest the two of you flee before my mother comes up here to check on me. She usually does that after some deranged Death Eaters stir up trouble in the manor."

Rabastan nods at him, then turns to me and sticks his hand out for the hair. Once he has it, he says, "Meet you at the house?"

He doesn't wait for an answer before he disappears. "Thank you, Draco. I can't explain how much—"

"I know. Now go."

I Apparate to the street just outside the Three Broomsticks. As I enter the tavern, Madam Rosmerta spies me and waves to me; not having it in me to speak with her, I just wave back instead and walk straight over to Daphne. "Are you ready?"

"I'm freaking out, but yes. Let's go."

We exit the tavern together, and I take her by the hand to Apparate to the Lestrange Estate. By the time we arrive, Severus is poised as Draco, and both he and Rabastan stand in the sitting room looking very uncomfortable with each other's presence. "Draco, you know Daphne." She gives me a suspicious look but remains quiet. "Rabastan, this is Daphne Greengrass."

Rabastan's face drops for a moment, a brief pained expression on his face before he schools it back to normal. "Daphne Greengrass," he says indifferently. "I've heard of your family." He looks to me. "Are you and she—you and Miss Accrington?"

"No," I say.

He seems to calm, and for a moment an intense annoyance with him consumes me. Is he even remorseful about what happened to Zoe? If he was bothered with the idea of Daphne and me being together, who's to say he isn't pleased with Zoe's fate? I want to say something to him, probably to snap at him, but stop when Severus, as Draco, says, "So you're actually ready to do this, Daphne? You don't have—"

"I won't abandon Charlotte. This is Azkaban we're talking about."

I close my eyes. Azkaban. I was there for less than a two weeks and tried to kill myself. How am I supposed to make it out again? Because this time Severus is with me. But that almost makes it worse. What if something happens to him? What if he's hurt because of me? What if neither of us make it out of there alive?

Two hands come to a rest on my shoulders, and I force myself to look at the person standing before me. Rabastan. "Aurelia," he says quietly, kindly, "this fear you're feeling—I'm feeling it too. I've been there. We've both been there. We know what we're walking into."

I nod, unable to speak at the moment, the intensifying fear in me clamping a hand around my throat. He puts his finger under my chin and forces my head up. "What you go through—the things the Dark Lord does to you, the way Bellatrix treats you—they're worse than what happened to you in Azkaban. You might not want to believe it, but it is."

"No, I tried to kill my—"

"Everyone does when they go to Azkaban. The dementors force that upon you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But what you go through—that's something no one else will experience. And you've handled it masterfully. Don't make that face—you have. If you can handle facing the Dark Lord himself every month, if you can look him in his disgusting red eyes and hold your courage, if you can handle being around your mother in spite of everything she's done to you, you can handle going back into Azkaban for a short while. We're not staying—we're breaking in and breaking out.

"You will be fine. And at the end of this, Rodolphus will be back in our lives, and it will have been worth it. I know you can handle it. I wouldn't have caved so quickly if I didn't believe that you could handle it." He presses a gentle kiss to my forehead, which truly and surprisingly comforts me. He likely would've been a wonderful uncle to grow up around, someone who took my side against my parents about petty fights and arguments, someone who encouraged me to break the rules and live life the way I want to. We're going to save my father. "I believe in you, Aurelia. We'll get in and out, and we'll be fine."

"Yeah, Charlotte," Severus says, trying his best to stand keep his body language close to Draco's. Only by virtue of teaching Draco for six years could Severus manage to impersonate Draco so well. "You're stronger than you think you are. I've seen it."

I smile at him the best I can, unable to keep from finding it comical that he's trying to be Draco. Daphne comes closer to me and places her hand on my back. "Come on, we've got this."

"And the three of you can for sure create a corporeal Patronus?" Rabastan asks. "Because I can't, and I dislike the idea of going into Azkaban without people who can create a Patronus." The three of us nod and agree. "All right then." He exhales. "Let's go break into Azkaban."