CHAPTER 11

Walking back to the castle takes much longer than normal because I need to slow down and take a break every minute or so. The dementors truly exhausted me. I should have eaten something—anything—at breakfast. What little energy I had before Azkaban was taken from me by that dementor, and now all I want to do is lie down in this snow and stay there forever, just fall asleep in peace and get some rest.

I stare down at the white snow, the beautifully untainted sections of it that have not been walked on and are just begging me to join them, but as I think about walking toward it and lying down, the moment of my near death floods my mind and affirms that I don't actually want to lie down and sleep forever in that snow, don't want to let my life slink away. For whatever reason, whether for better or for worse, there are people I don't want to leave behind. There are people who inspire me to live.

Part of me thinks I should go sit with the second-years. Their lives aren't completely consumed with Voldemort like mine is, and it would be nice to acknowledge how the Dark Lord's villainy hasn't reached everyone just yet. Despite that, seeing Severus is much more preferable. His life, of course, has been ruined by Voldemort, but there's something comforting in that too. He knows what I'm going through because he's been through it before. Well, not the Azkaban thing. He never experienced being imprisoned there.

Luckily most of the students third-year and above are still in Hogsmeade, and those who have already returned to the castle are not around right now, probably in their common rooms. As for the first- and second-years, I catch sight of a few of them when I finally reach the Hogwarts grounds, but they mostly seem to be Hufflepuffs who have no desire to speak with me considering we do not know each other. I easily manage to enter the castle without putting forth effort into conversation with anyone. Professor Slughorn passes me in in the corridors, but we don't ever really talk so he doesn't seem very interested in approaching me today.

Hardly anyone else crosses my path on my way to the gargoyle statue. An intense relief hits me the moment the statue steps aside for me. I'm so close to Severus now. I need to know for certain that he made it back safely from the Lestrange Estate. That in mind, I step onto the top stair and allow it to carry me upward, anticipation pounding through me at the thought of seeing him, knowing he's safe and alive.

I knock on the door and enter when given permission. When he sees me, he stands to his feet, a mixture of relief and confusion on his face, and approaches me. "I hoped you would stop by so I'd know you were recovering well, but you really should be back in the dormitories resting You almost died."

I shake my head. "It's fine." He helps me walk over to the chair in front of his desk and helps me sit. "I wanted to make sure you made it back without . . . I don't know, becoming yourself again. I wanted to make sure you were safe." With a wave of his wand, a tray of food appears on his desk. "Did Rodolphus really believe Mr. Collins would try to save him?"

Severus sits down behind his desk. "He didn't question it too much yet, but he might when he finally recovers completely." He seemed fine to me when I left, but he could have just been putting on a front for my benefit. "You need to eat. You're weak."

I take the tray, already feeling better at just the thought of enjoying this food.

He waits until I've finished half a sandwich before he speaks again. "The cell, Charlotte, the one you were distracted by."

"What about it?"

Severus eyes me, asking a question without voicing it. I close my eyes, exhaling, and say, "It was mine. And Bellatrix's. It's where—I tried to kill myself there. I don't know why I wanted to see it again, I—I just—I felt like I needed to see it. To put it behind me once and for all. Like I if I could face it, it would no longer have power over me."

"You feel it has power over you?"

"Yes. The nightmares—the fear—sometimes it all comes back, and it's like I'm there again. Sometimes I have to remind myself that the dementors are not here, that I'm safe in the castle. I hoped—I hoped seeing it would help. But it almost got me killed."

"I—" He stops short, his hand going to his forearm. "It seems the Dark Lord might be aware of our trip to Azkaban. I'm being summoned." The heat drains from my face. "I'm sure he has no way of knowing what really happened, if that is indeed why is summoning me unscheduled."

"Would . . ." I swallow down my fear. "Would I be able to stay here and finish this before I try going down to the dungeon?"

He seems to know that I want a minute to calm down before facing anyone, so he nods. Then he Disapparates. If he's punished for helping me rescue Rodolphus . . . I shake the thought from my mind. Surely not. Why would Severus be punished for that? I force myself to continue eating. Of all the things I need right now, energy is pretty high on the list.

Not long later, Dumbledore's portrait says, "How are things faring for you, Miss Rodgers?"

I take another gulp of water. "Better than they were, I guess," I say, only partially lying. Things are better, technically, because my father is now free of Azkaban.

His face becomes more serious than usual. "I've been hoping for a chance to speak with you, Miss Rodgers. Did you find the note I left you?"

"Yes. The Dark Lord sent me to live with Severus because he believed Bellatrix was becoming too attached to me and wanted to separate us. I found your note shortly after arriving."

He nods. "I believe your presence has been a great benefit to him. He has been much more agreeable recently." I take another bite of my sandwich, unwilling to allow myself to make eye contact with Dumbledore lest he somehow read my thoughts and see that a good guess as to why Severus has been more agreeable recently might have something to do with the newest aspect of our relationship. "Are the two of you close?"

I choke on my sandwich and take a few moments to contain myself, my eyes watering. "He's one of my greatest friends," I croak, still trying to clear my throat. "I wouldn't have gotten through these past few months without his help and guidance." Does he already know or suspect something is going on between Severus and me? His face tells me he's unsatisfied with my answers, but he doesn't seem willing to push the topic any farther. I finish my sandwich in silence, then say, "I really should be going, Professor. I almost died earlier, and it was exhausting. I need to lie down." With great effort, I push myself to my feet and hobble out of the office, just happy to be out of the stare of those knowing blue eyes.

As I pass through the common room, I give a weak nod to the second-years, but none of them try to stop me. If hazarding a guess, I'd say my weariness is very apparent to all of them. I just wander up to my dormitory and lie down in my bed, then pull the covers up to my chin and close my eyes. Never before has my bed seemed this warm and inviting. A satisfied sigh escapes me.

Someone shaking my shoulders awakens me at some point later, and though fear shoots through my chest, I struggle to force my eyes open to see my assailant. When finally successful, I see Severus crouched down beside my bed. My eyes dart to each of the other four-posters around the room, but he shakes his head. "They're all under a bewitched sleep, orders of the Dark Lord. No one can know that you've gone to Malfoy Manor, not even the Carrows."

"I have to go Malfoy Manor?" I whisper, hardly containing my panic.

He nods. "You were in Hogsmeade all morning. Don't mention Daphne. You came back early because you were tired. You were in my office for the majority of the afternoon working on classwork. You aren't aware of Rodolphus's whereabouts—the last you heard, he was still in Azkaban."

"Yes."

"You're running low on time. Now come on."

I sit up straight. "Am I going to be tortured?"

"I honestly don't know." He offers me his arm. I take it, and we Apparate.

Through the window in Malfoy Manor's drawing room, I can see that it is still dark outside when we arrive for my . . . punishment? Is the Dark Lord going to punish me? Do they know the part I played in freeing my father? "Stay strong," he whispers to me.

"Are you leaving?"

"I was told to wait here, to escort you back to Hogwarts."

"They suddenly don't trust me to go back and forth without supervision?"

"I fear much will be changing, Charlotte."

As long as I'm allowed to stay at Hogwarts with Severus, none of their changes can impact me too harshly.

Footsteps from somewhere out in the hallway grow louder, and I tighten my hold on his arm. "I'm scared."

"I know."

Voldemort, flanked by none other than Bellatrix herself and Lucius, storms into the room. "Move away from her, Severus," he says, still advancing. Unfortunately, he actually does move away from me, leaving me exposed for Voldemort to grab me by the neck and shove me against the wall.

"My—my Lord?" I struggle out.

"Yesterday, your father escaped from Azkaban—"

"He's out?" I ask, smiling, trying to seem as innocent and surprised as possible. "He escaped? How—"

"Do not lie to me, Charlotte," he hisses. "I know you were involved."

"Involved? My Lord, I was in Hogsmeade, I didn't do anything wrong, I was enjoying my day out of—"

"Silence!"

"Why bother asking me questions if—"

He rams me against the wall, and I groan, closing my eyes and trying not to let the panic rise in me. Then, suddenly, he releases me and takes a few steps back. I bend over and rest my hands on my upper thighs while trying to catch my breath. "I know it was you. You left Hogsmeade and went to Azkaban, likely with Rabastan Lestrange, to free your father. I want to know who else went with you."

I force myself to stand up straight. "I didn't even go, so I don't know why you would think I'd know—"

"I was once reasonable with you, Charlotte, yet your disrespect has continued. I thought taking away that filthy Mudblood who defiled you would force you to keep your arrogance and your disrespect at bay. It seems I was mistaken. And now you've forced my hand once more. Bella"—my mother steps forward, a disgusting smirk on her face, one that makes an anger at her burst in my chest, her fingers twitching around her wand—"if you would do the honors."

I inhale, close my eyes, and brace myself for the inevitable.

"Crucio!"

The curse doesn't hit me, and it's not my screams echoing around the room. It's Severus's scream of pain ripping its way straight to my heart, and I open my eyes to see him curled on the floor, the curse from my mother's wand torturing him. My mouth drops, my breath escapes me. I try to call his name, but my voice fails me.

"You refuse to listen to me," Voldemort says. "And you continue—"

"Sev-Severus! Severus!" I rush to him, but Lucius grabs my arms and keeps me back. His shrieks claw at my ears, tearing me open, taking away my breath. I should be the one Cruciated, not him. "Stop! Stop hurting him! Please!"

"Bella."

Severus immediately stops screaming, and Lucius releases me. I drop to my knees beside him and put my hands on either side of his face. "Severus," I whisper. "I'm so sorry." He covers one of my hands with his own, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."

"It seems you have an affinity for your dear headmaster," Voldemort croons, mockery in his voice. "And it seems that killing those you care about is not enough. That pain doesn't last long enough."

"No, please! I'll do anything, just stop hurting him!"

"Lucius."

Malfoy charges toward me, grabs me up, pins my arms behind me, and pulls me away from Severus.

"Bella."

"Crucio!"

I scream when Severus does, begging for them to release the curse. He convulses on the floor, his voice going raw from the effort of his shouts. "Please!" They ignore me. Bellatrix laughs cruelly, reveling in finally being able to harm Severus without any repercussions. "Mum, please!" She doesn't stop. If anything, she tries to harm him even more, because his screams get louder. I lose the ability to stand, fall to my knees, and try to pull my arms from Lucius's grip. He doesn't let go.

Bellatrix releases the curse, and for a moment I can breathe. "I'll . . . I'll tell you everything," I whisper. "Just . . . just stop hurting him."

Severus twitches on the floor, his face glistening, his hair clumping together with sweat.

"Speak," Voldemort commands.

"What do you want to know?" Finally, Lucius lets go of my arms, and I fall forward. The cool tile feels almost nice against my face, and I let myself lie there for a moment, trying to think of anything to say that will get both Severus and me out of this with minimal damage.

"Did you help your father escape from Azkaban?"

I force myself to lift my face off the floor and sit back on my knees. "Yes."

His red eyes shift to Severus as he tries to sit up a bit. "You lied to me, Severus," he says. "You said she was in your office most of the day."

"We went to Azkaban early in the morning," I lie. "That's why I was tired, why I went to his office. He didn't know. I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to —I didn't want him to know. It was safer for him if I didn't let him know about anything I was doing."

"Where is your father now?"

"He's hidden with the Fidelius Charm. He's the Secret-Keeper, so you'll never find him. I don't even know where he is, and I doubt if Rabastan does either. I went alone."

Voldemort's cruel laugh is bone-chilling. "You expect me to believe that you broke into Azkaban by yourself and rescued your father without any help?"

"I remembered where it was from when you had me thrown in there, and all it really takes is a corporeal Patronus to lead you through the prison, not that you would know anything about creating those, and with a good enough memory you can ward off a dozen of those dementors without too much trouble, so that's what I did. I saved my father without any help." I take a deep breath. "I don't know where he is now, but he's not in Azkaban, and that's all that matters to me."

Voldemort looks over at Severus. "It seems, despite everything I've commanded of you, Severus, you have failed to keep Charlotte under your control."

"No, he didn't do anything wrong! It was me! I worked alone."

"You have let a child, Severus, outwit you. She escaped Hogwarts and went to Azkaban without your knowledge. You are not fit to watch after her any longer."

"It's not his fault," I say. "I-I-I-I slipped him some Sleeping Draught. And-and if you expect me not to do the same thing to the Carrows, you're mistaken. I-I've already locked Alecto in a closet for a few days, and there was nothing she could to do escape, and Amycus was too stupid to find her. If-if you think I won't do worse to her once-once she starts following me around, you're wrong. And-and-and if-if she continues to—I might even have to kill her."

Voldemort smiles disgustingly. "She truly is your daughter, Bella." The amusement drops from his face as fast as it arrived. "Stand up, Severus." He struggles to his feet. "Take Charlotte's wand from her." Severus shows no emotion as he shuffles toward me, nor does he show any emotion as he takes the wand from my outstretched hand. "Charlotte may not have her wand except for those classes that require it. Either you or the Carrows must ensure that it is never on her unless she is in class. She must be escorted here and back every month by you, Severus. And if you fail me again, the punishment for the both of you—"

"Will be Azkaban?" I ask, fighting back my laughter. Severus turns and glares at me, and the smile on my face immediately drops. "I'm sorry, I'm just kind of nervous—and scared." My chest tightens, and it takes all of my focus not to lose my breath again.

"I will make sure she is watched closely, my Lord. She will never again leave Hogwarts without supervision."

"Bella, take Charlotte," Voldemort says. "Lucius, you are dismissed."

Bellatrix walks over to me, but I jerk my arm away from her before she can touch me. "He never said to lay a hand on me," I hiss. She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't say anything, and I follow her from the room, looking back at Severus one more time as we turn the corner. He doesn't even attempt to meet my eyes because all of his attention is on Voldemort.

Bellatrix leads me down to the basement where her room is located, and I silently wish that anyone else would appear and rescue me. She closes the door behind me, and my eyes are drawn to the two armchairs that sit before the fireplace. There was once a time when the two of us sat there, happily, just enjoying one another's company. A picture of the two of us when I was a child rests on her nightstand now, and I force myself to ignore it. This didn't have to be so hard, had she simply not thrown Rodolphus in Azkaban . . . Our relationship would not be as fragile and broken as it is now had she been even slightly upset about the fact that I will die someday if I have Voldemort's child. Or any child. Whatever child Voldemort thinks is his so he can make a horcrux.

"Aurelia—Charlotte, I know you didn't go into Azkaban alone."

"I thought I told you I never wanted to speak to you again."

"Charlotte."

"Of course I went by myself," I say, still not looking at her. "You think I didn't remember how to get there? Do you not remember that you were with me—escorted me, even—to Azkaban just a few months ago?" Finally, I turn to face her. "Of course you remember that. I'm sure you also remember my pleas when you left me in your cell. So you should know that I was able to return and free my dad. Who you locked back up."

"Do you realize how dangerous that was? You could have died!"

"Like you would even care."

"Aurelia—"

"I did almost die," I say, raising my chin to look up at her. "A dementor nearly Kissed me. And you know what? You were the furthest from my mind."

Her face drops. "You—you almost died? For what? For Rodolphus? You're more important than he is!"

"I'm going to die anyway, so what's the difference if I die a little while earlier than planned? At least I would have died for something I care about instead of the Dark Lord's plan to live forever. Besides, it's not like my death means anything to you anyway, considering how great of an honor you believe it is to die for the Dark Lord." She reaches toward me, and I slap her hand away. "Don't touch me."

"Charlotte"—she all but cringes at my name—"of course I don't want you to die, I—"

"You've got a funny way of showing it."

"You're still my daughter, and I—"

"I'm not your daughter. Why did you bring me down here? Why couldn't I just leave? The Dark Lord might want me to speak with you and try to get ahold of my issues, but I'm not in the mood to spend more time with you than is necessary. So why did you bring me down here?"

"The Dark Lord wanted another meeting alone with Snape."

My heart drops. He's torturing Severus again. Without a second thought, I charge at the door, but Bellatrix jumps in front of me and grabs my shoulders to stop me. In a fit of rage, I grab her by the neck and shove her to the wall beside the door. "I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" Her moment of surprise gives me just enough time to pry her hands off of me and rush from the room.

"Stop!" I don't listen, instead just keep running. A spell strikes my back and throws me down the hallway. I smack my face on the floor and slide a few feet before coming to a stop. I groan loudly, already tasting blood in my mouth, then roll over, searching fruitlessly for my wand before I realize it's been taken. "Don't get up."

"You fucking bitch," I growl, pushing my back against the wall and using that to stand up more easily. "I hate you."

She doesn't seem bothered by my words as she approaches me. "I told you to stop, Charlotte, and you didn't."

When she gets close enough, I spit my blood into her face, and it's the best feeling in the world, second only to freeing my father. Bellatrix's eyes narrow, and she wipes the spit from her cheek, a look on her face that makes my blood run cold. She clenches her jaw, then shoves me against the wall and looks down at me, her chest heaving with anger, her breath blowing a small clump of hair in front of her face. For a minute, I seriously think I might die, but then she steps away from me. "You're being summoned."

The two of us walk in silence back to the drawing room where my eyes are assaulted with the color red all across the floor, Severus lying in the middle of it. I slow down, watching him closely, trying to see if he's even breathing. When I see his chest move just an inch, I feel only relief. Voldemort looks over at me, a victorious smirk on his face. "You can use your wand this once, Charlotte, to take your . . . friend back to Hogwarts." He slaps a vial into my hand. "Do not let him die." Then he Disapparates, and I rush to Severus, sliding down into his blood and turning his face toward me. He's hardly conscious. I don't look back at Bellatrix before grabbing mine and his wands and Apparating to Hogwarts with Severus.

We appear on the bed in his chambers, and I work my way around him so I'm behind him, his head on my chest, allowing him to sit up just a little bit. I take the vial and put it into his mouth. "Drink this." He obeys me absentmindedly and lets out a sigh of relief once the potion is gone. I hold him closely, not caring about the blood soaking through my clothes.