Author Note:This chapter is full of spelling horrors, misspellings with she/him/they and many extra letters.
Now, you will ask yourselves, author, if you have time to write this, why don't you write the chapter well?
I'm tired of the fanfiction platform and I had to reupload this chapter three times, that's why.
Seriously fanfiction staff update the page a little
Yeah that seems about right.
that's all.
Enjoy the chapter if you can understand it the next one will be better
When you don't know why you love a person, it's because you really love them and when the voices in your head start criticizing you, it's time to review your life.
.
.
.
.
The Pentagon glittered in the skies of Pentagram City along with the occasional explosion and/or gunfire that took place there. Rather, a day like any other.
But as always happens, something broke that cycle and a portal appeared in the sky and from it a burning commercial plane was formed which was about to crash.
And piloting the plane trying not to crash and kill himself was Night
-Why of all the fucking things in the multiverse did it have to be a zombie virus? Hey? Couldn't it have been brainwashing? It would be easier to deal with! But no... It's a fucking zombie virus made by an idiot with a desire for necrophilic fornication!
Night was behind the wheel yelling millions of profanities at his said "bad luck" while the former pilots lay dead with holes in their heads and black veins on his skin.
How had he come to this point so suddenly?
3 hours before...
It was hateful to do favors for the king of hell, he had good human soul cookies he wasn't going to deny it but sometimes it seemed as if he wanted her to join him and his wife in a threesome.
At least Lilith was more relaxed on those issues.
She knew though that he was technically the pilot and she was getting deep into this shit but she didn't really care too much about the consequences for the timeline.
In this world, only one thing mattered: power.
And he had enough of that.
Charlie moved excitedly through the hallway as Vaggie tried to coax her to calm down.
-Night! Would you mind helping me here!? - I demanded Vaggie
Nah, you're doing pretty good.
Vaggie gave me a deadpan "no kidding" look I just gave her a half smile.
-Let Charlie be as he is. Trust me when I tell you this, everything will be fine.
-Even if it is, can you help me convince her not to sing, prevent her from humiliating herself on television and humiliating herself?
-Vaggie, believe me when I say this, I mean it with all possible seriousness. I don't think that even if the fat guy from above came down in person, she could convince her not to sing. You know it's always been her method of dealing with tough situations.
-Today you are asking me for a lot of leaps of faith.
That's what life is about whether we like it or not.
Vaggie snorted in amusement.
-You suck when you try to be deep.
-Awww. I don't think so. It must be better than that right?
Vaggie let out an "uh" and made a sort of gesture.
We sat in the chairs and it seemed to me that Moxxie was sitting in the corner away from us but she was too far away to tell without using magic.
We both watched as Charlie interacted with Katie Killjoy, the reporter, and said some pretty inappropriate things to a princess from hell. Before I could get up to defend Charlie the transmission started and I couldn't do anything else for at least 10 minutes.
Charlie started talking about his Happy Hotel proposal and when he finished everyone laughed. I just shot an Imp who was too humorous with a knife towards Charlie.
Katie started doing the Angel Dust report (which I admit the situation was a bit my fault, I told her to go take a break) about how she was fighting the Pentious along with Cherri Bomb. (Who I also told to go for a walk for a while... I think I'm pretty dense to what I cause).
Charlie got annoyed and Katie and the-guy-I-don't-remember-his-name put up their hands and yelled "Ratings!" I only saw how Katie was not able to bear an insult and when Charlie called her a bitch she became a riot in the studio
I started to get amused when someone tried to use a sleeping gas.
Nobody makes me sleep without my authorization.
Kill the guy with a knife to the throat.
Skiptime provided by chibi baby Loona, isn't that cute?! *sticks out tongue tenderly*
I banged on the window between us and the driver to make it clear that we were moving forward and the engine started purring softly declaring to hell the quality of the car.
I would have to change the car.
I finished cleaning one of the wounds on Charlie's forehead and took out a box of blessings with different themes.
-Which one do you want?
Charlie looked through the designs and pointed to one on the left.
- This. Gardervoir's.
I put the blessed of the effeminate Pokémon on him and organized his hair a bit by tucking it behind his ear.
She blushed slightly and that brought me a slight smile.
.
.
-NIGHT! - yelled Angel
Angel lunged at me after having recovered from the utter exhaustion of his battle against Sir Pentious (manners make the man) and hugged me snuggling against his effeminate (but very comfortable) hairy chest of his.
-My little wolf! Thanks for giving me the idea to go for a walk! It was pleasantly refreshing!
Vaggie looked at me with daggers from the other side of the car while I just smiled nervously at her.
I moved away from Angel a little and smiled softly at him.
-I'm glad you enjoyed your outing but what you did in it is what may be affecting us the most.
-Aww. Calm down, night! You've been so good to me that I might even give you a reward~~~
I blushed at Angel's lustful smile and the implied implications of his words.
.
She wasn't used to being submissive, okay?
Don't judge me!
Vaggie considered that this was enough punishment for me as she saw one of the corners of his lips lift up showing his smile.
I cleared my throat and looked at Angel.
-Ehmm... I think I'll pass on your offer for now Angel.
-"For now" does that mean that you will take it later, Night?
Shit. He had me there Damn my subconscious betraying me.
That? They will not deny me that no one has not thought of having sex with Angel Dust!
A/N: Stop breaking the fourth wall!
Night: You haven't even tried to repair it...
I just stepped away from him a bit as he tried to look outside, with what he hoped wasn't so noticeable, a blush.
Angel Dust laughed a bit at me and I simply tuned out afterwards, only re-registering what was happening when my instincts kicked in and I caught a knife out of the air heading for Angel.
Look at Vaggie.
-Vaggie I have warned you about throwing knives at a moving vehicle I don't want to have to get everyone out of here unconscious.
Vaggie just grumbled more as Angel complimented me on my catch..
-Does that mean that I run out of my hotel room? Well that sucks. -I listened a while later- But Night here will let me stay at his house, right Night?
He looked at me with puppy dog eyes which didn't really have much of an effect on me but a part of my heart was always too soft. Besides, Fat Nuggets was good company.
-Sure, but I'd appreciate it if you help pay for the services and don't have too much sex in the apartment.
-Aww! You are a sweetness Night! This hell does not deserve you Bombón!
My face warmed at the compliment and I tuned out again until we got to the hotel.
I took out some nachos that I had stored under the sofa and with a bit of my magic I made guacamole appear, I offered her to Vaggie and she took a nacho and spread it with guacamole and ate it in silence.
I lay down, tired and felt like I was laying on a warm comfortable fluffy pillow.
Wait, furry?
Look where I was laying down and not so coincidentally I had leaned on Angel's chest.
When I realized this situation, I tried to get away to fall face down on the ground.
Vaggie and Angel laughed at my situation while I cursed my luck as I pulled my face out of the ground.
This is what I get for going out drinking with a 21-year-old tsundere wolf.
Charlie went to answer the door while I sighed.
Charlie came transparent from the door later *bad joke* and spoke to us in a rather light voice
-Uh...Vaggie? Why is the radio demon at the door?
-That?! Vaggie yelled.
"Who?" Angel asked.
-He doesn't know I'm here! - I screamed as I jumped and hid behind the sofa.
They looked at me weird for a moment before mentally shrugging and Vaggie told him not to open clearly ignoring him and letting him in breaking all the magical defenses she had set up so no one would steal anything.
Why did you have to be the spirit of mercy Charlie?
I heard how Angel and Vaggie received Alastor in his own way.
- Honey, if I wanted to hurt someone I would have already done it...
Different kinds of glyphs began to appear around Alastor and a sound of static rang out along with a blurring of the surroundings.
I came out from behind the sofa and with an expression so completely devoid of life that they all shuddered when they saw me.
-That is not true...
A glitch in reality began to appear around my figure while the cries, pleas and screams of thousands of hundreds of souls from hundreds of universes were heard. In the background, my eyes were devoid of any light and they could be heard as something was beginning to break, everyone felt unbearable pressure on their bodies.
-Be careful how you decide your next steps Alastor...
I decided that it was enough and stopped extending my power. Angel looked at me with a "BRO WTF?!" I just shrugged.
Alastor recovered and looked at me with a false emotion that I could see beyond the surface.
But what do we have here?! If not Lucifer's personal advisor!
"I don't know where that stupid rumor came from..." I murmured.
Alastor tried to hug me but I slapped him away, that guy is a hypocrite when it comes to physical contact.
She recovered from the sudden rejection and walked over to Charlie.
-So this is your hotel staff?- He approached Angel- And tell me what can you do?
"I can suck your dick" he replied.
I hear the sound of e a glass breaking and Alastor let out a nervous laugh
-Ha ha ha! No, thanks!
Angel approached Vaggie and asked who he was in his terms "The Strawberry Pimp" I heard all the dialogue where Alastor had come from but noticed a slight change in the story
-...his power is second only to that of Night and the foreign Overlord of balance...
-Wait a moment Vaggie-I interrupted him- Not because he can kill an overlord of Alastor's caliber does it mean that he has his own power.
- You have a good point... Although humility doesn't help much here Night, I've seen you fight. And regarding the new overlord, there are more rumors that he himself has probably spread than what is known. But who knows, he's supposed to be from another dimension and stuff.
- Hey! Of that if I heard of him! He once beat the crap out of Val for trying to get into his business! It was wonderful!
- So does it ring a bell?
-Meh-he returned to his normal attitude-I'm not a big fan of politics.
They all gathered around the fireplace and Alastor used his cane to dust off "dust" and from the dust he pulled out a black figure.
- This cuteness is Nifty!
- Hello! - I greet with enthusiasm stirring the dust above - A pleasure to meet you all!
She released herself from Alastor's grasp and started looking around.
- Wow! This place really lacks a girly touch! Are they only women? (No offense) There is no man?...
She interrupted herself by noting me.
- MAN!
Oh tartar barzul.
Was he going to rape me?
She threw me to the ground and I closed my eyes expecting the worst.
But this chapter is PG13 so nothing bad happened
-Hello Macho! What is your name? How old are you? Where did you get those clothes? CAN I KEEP YOUR UNDERWEAR? Are you vir...
Alastor pushed him off of me, interrupting him.
-Now, we don't want to bother our dear Night, right?
Nifty had the decency to look embarrassed and avoided my gaze.
-He he. I'm sorry. I may have gotten a little excited there.
I sat back on the couch, ignoring the little flea as she frowned and massaged my temples.
Gods, this was complicated. I took out my Hellphone (yes, that's what shit is called in this damn universe) and I started playing Fnaf, which instead of saying Scott Cawthon said Axel Night in the lower left.
Xorten will know why this was due. It's not like Scott wasn't born in this universe or anything...
I noticed how the space was slightly distorted and the whole room seemed new again, and there was also a bar located next to me. Wait I know that kind of liquor...
"If you think you can talk me down with cheap alcohol and that cute boy over there..." she pointed in my direction.
Husk came after me and reached the bar, roughly taking the bottle.
-Well, you're right!
He took several drinks and I blinked like an owl.
-Kitten?
Husk spit out his drink and looked at me with a slight blush on his cheeks that made you want to smother him with tenderness.
-Shit. Night, was it you?
-Did you call me cute?
He tried to look nervously for anywhere else to look but at me.
As an afterthought Vaggie chimed in with Alastor
-Oh no! This is a rehab place! It will not become a macho bar!
Angel practically teleported to Vaggie's side from how quickly he moved to shut her up.
-Eh no! We'll leave that there! I want to see a drunk Night! And you will not deny me that pleasure! -and then saying more softly he said- We're going to stay with him. Understood?
When did this become about me? Was he seriously altering the timeline? And why didn't you notice Husk as it was originally? I liked that ship, it was sweet. Should I force them to love each other?
But what was wrong with me? Why do that?
With light dark thoughts in my head I silently excused myself and went to my room and lay down on my freshly cleaned bed.
Angel just wanted a quickie with me? That was all the flirting and flattery...
What was going on with the others? If I decided to quit they would just look at me like: Ah! Him. If he left, no way. Or would they really miss me? And what about him with the others? Am I just a tool? How with them?
Wow. Too Deep there.
I tried to hide in the covers but the characteristic sound of a rip in space-time from a portal sounded.
As an independent creature I opened my eye and saw a portal next to my bed in the floor with the color of magic characteristic only of Lucifer.
Another fucking mission.
With a low groan of exhaustion I turned from the bed to the doorway and dropped into it.
When I get to wherever Lucifer sent me. (I had a harder time locating where I was by portals than by teleportation) I was in my human form in an airplane seat still surrounded by my warm blankets like a donkey.
The passengers didn't even blink at the appearance of a new passenger out of nowhere. Benefits of to be the lord of hell, I suppose.
I'd suck if it was fog or the duat, I don't want a crossover.
A burrito with peppers floated in front of my nose, tempting my palate.
I sniffed it like a dog defining the ingredients of it:
Ground beef, green and red bell peppers, I gave it another sniff, sweet corn, tomato sauce, beans, cheese and... that was pickles? Not my favorite but I was not going to say no to a good burrito.
I took a bite of air and caught a huge explosion of flavor that made me moan at how good it tasted. Forget about the pickles this one became my favorite.
-Do you like it? - they asked me.
"Hmmm" I said without paying much attention.
Only after eating the burrito completely and nodding to whatever they were asking me without paying much attention did my senses fully activate.
-Brilliant! Then I'll wait for you in the castle with Lilith at 4 o'clock on the second night.
Wait what? Damn, I focused too much on my food. I hope I haven't accepted any soul deal or something like that.
Anyway.
Nothing is gained without risking something.
-Why did you call me?
-Oh yeah! Time is running out. I must not obstruct your work. After all, Father won't be happy if I don't get this problem resolved.
-You mean if you don't solve this problem?
-Meh it's the same when you're the king of hell.
Looking at the appearance that Lucifer had chosen, he had the same clothes that he normally wore although he had a face that looked very familiar to Ryan Reynolds...
nope. I would not go back to my time of memories with Deadpool, simply not. That was too deep a hole not to be dug.
Lucifer handed me a file that had the "TOP SECRET" stamp colored on it.
-It turns out that not long ago a human with too much power and a bit of insanity wanted to create a "cure" against death
I raised an eyebrow, I had learned long ago that death is one of the most beautiful things there is and even if it is misunderstood.
-Obviously this didn't go well and he got infected with what looks like something out of a human apocalyptic video game. Luckily for humanity, he was working on an island taken from the world. Your mission if he decides to accept it. Heh, I love how they make it sound like they have a choice. It is to prevent this disease from spreading throughout the world and save it until the next apocalypse since this is not how it is predestined for the world to end.
blink.
- Is seriously?
-Of course, dear.
-Oh.
Oh.
-And where is that island located?
He he gave me a smile like the ones he gave me when we were getting to know each other before I earned his respect and... friendship? I'm not quite sure what our relationship is right now.
The thing is, it didn't give me a good vibe.
-The problem is that the doctor may have tried to escape infected and in the hold of this specific plane.
-Wait a minute what?!
Before he could do anything Lucifer had already disappeared and a scream was heard from behind the plane.
I'll just say that the next thing that happened was very much like World War Z.
Despite the fact that with my shotgun I managed to maintain a gap between the zombies and the uninfected, for some reason, which I could not visualize, the pilots opened their door and the zombies bit them.
Despite my best efforts, everyone got infected and only I was left on the plane, healthy. They already tried to bite me several times but when they saw that it didn't work they left me alone.
I saw that they had some kind of hive mind because now the pilots were flying the plane again but to crash on the mainland.
Not on my watch you sons of bitches.
I put two bullets in the pilots' heads, which activated a switch for the others to attack me but I left them out of the control cabin.
The zombies had taken it upon themselves to destroy the engine controllers so that I couldn't do anything just to crash the plane and we were flying over northern Europe.
What to do, what to do...
Maybe...
Leaving the controller on autopilot I focused on the approaching wastelands and expending a fair amount of energy I opened a large enough portal to hell.
This clearly wasn't the brightest of ideas as all technology went berserk as soon as we stepped through the portal.
And I started insulting the necrophiliac scientist responsible for all this
-Why of all the fucking things in the multiverse did it have to be a zombie virus? Hey? Couldn't it have been brainwashing? It would be easier to deal with! But no... It's a fucking zombie virus made by an idiot with a desire for necrophilic fornication!
Ah, you had already read this, right?
I'll spare you some of the other insults I said, okay?
Now piloting the plane in full turbulence, without engines and with what could cause an apocalypse as my cargo.
Without seeing many options, I took out of a pocket dimension something that I had saved from Long ago, an antimatter bomb.
Now how would I escape from this plane without revealing my origins?...
A Sir Pentious balloon approached the hotel where Charlie was staying and an idea occurred to me. I maneuvered the plane so that it began to turn towards the hotel, more specifically the area where there was now a portal to another pocket dimension where tentacles came out that were destroying the globe at this moment.
As if the author was trying to give it more drama at the critical point of the story, the door that kept me separated from the zombies broke and they jumped on me, I took out a familiar revolver of which I had many memories (which do not interest them). you at this moment) and shoot the zombies without discrimination, with a quick shot I damaged the controller so that the direction was not altered through my carelessness.
The sounds of the bomb about to explode intensified as the zombies started trying to tear me apart as soon as I ran out of bullets.
I had not prepared myself to kill so many.
Meanwhile, on the ground you could see the entire gang from the Hazbin Hotel watching stunned as Sir Pentious's balloon was destroyed and dragged to who knows where, to be even more confused when they saw a human plane on fire (Alastor looking at it with curiosity ) On a collision course with Sir Pentious's balloon, the plane "fell" into the portal only for it to explode in a very striking range of colors and absorb itself and something flew out of it without anyone noticing, an explosion occurring to which everyone would try to hold on to the ground so as not to be dragged by the absorbing gravity of the event, leaving them in shock at what was happening.
When all the explosion/absorption happened, Alastor closed the portal, only for something to crash in front of them leaving a large crater. Obviously when the smoke passed you see me in this crater with a superhero landing. May I ruin the whole majestic atmosphere when I stagger to my feet.
-Shit, superhero landing is always painful. - I commented
The others didn't say anything and even Alastor looked slightly confused behind his smile. Angel started to open his mouth but was silenced with one hand.
-No. ask.
Alastor blinked and returned to his character while I only thought about sleeping.
-Well who wants Jambalaya!?
-I would like a glass please - I asked kindly
-Ha ha! Brilliant!
Alastor casts a final touch of magic changing the Happy Hotel sign to "Hazbin Hotel".
-Stay connected...
Well that would be the hazbin hotel pilot, we hope you liked it since well, it was 4000 words, give me a little credit.
A / N: In the next chapters we will give a bit of context about Night's life in the underworld and how she has relationships with her and this new "overlord" that probably many people have already added two plus two.
With that their original bearers of the deathly hallows say goodbye, bye! *they start to fight* 🐲🐉🌒✍️ ️🙏👌😙🎉