When Maya went in for her appointment at 24 weeks, they decided to again try to wean her off her meds, this time opting to decrease the dose of Zofran from her pump a little every day to see what would happen.
Shockingly to everyone involved, Maya did really well with it and within a week, she was off Zofran completely. The day she was able to remove her pump felt pretty scary because the last time they had tried that, she had ended up so sick, but this time, she felt pretty much normal. She was still slightly nauseous and would occasionally still throw up, but she wasn't incapacitated at all.
They had been considering trying out an oral Zofran if she needed it, but it didn't really feel necessary because she wasn't feeling any worse without the pump than she had been with it. After a full week of being off the pump, they declared it a success.
During that time, Maya had also been experimenting with more foods. Nothing too crazy, but she was able to eat pasta with sauce again and salad which made her so happy because she had missed eating vegetables. Almond butter and jelly sandwiches became a craving of hers as well which was not something she ate often before she was pregnant, but it still made her happy she could eat it.
Meat was still off the table completely, but they both liked cooking vegetarian meals often anyways so it worked. She still wasn't able to eat a lot of food when she ate without feeling sick, but even just eating half a sandwich felt like such a big win. She was still only really able to drink lemonade, orange rehydration drink, and tea without her stomach feeling upset, but that was alright because she needed the extra calories anyway.
Carina had tried to make lasagna because Maya loved it and she said it finally sounded appetizing again, but that, unfortunately, had not gone so well, not because of her nausea, but because it gave her horrible heart burn that had her feeling absolutely miserable.
"Why does our half Italian baby not want me to enjoy Italian food," Maya sighed as she shifted around on the couch, bucket in her lap as she battled the heartburn and the unfortunate feeling of nausea it brought with it.
"I don't know," Carina said, handing Maya some Tums, "But I had the same problem with the twins. Remember how miserable I was that one night on our babymoon?"
Maya hummed a little, nodding while chewing up the Tums, hoping they would help her feel better.
"Come here, Bambina," Carina said, sitting down so her legs were on the couch, making a space for her wife in her lap.
Maya moved into Carina's arms, relaxing back into her, though the bucket was still firmly in her hands.
"Can you talk to me?" Maya asked, swallowing harshly against the uncomfortable feeling in her chest.
"About what?" Carina asked, taking Maya's hair out of the pony tail it was in, running her fingers through it before starting to work it into two braids.
"Anything," Maya said, shifting a little as if she was trying to move away from the heartburn pain, "Your voice makes me feel better."
"Alright," Carina said, thinking for a minute, "Ah. Ok. I had a patient come into the ER yesterday at work and they were complaining of vaginal irritation so I was paged to come do an exam. When I was talking to the patient, she told me that she had been having some symptoms of a yeast infection, but that she didn't want to go to the doctor so she decided to treat it on her own. Well, she had read online that yogurt can help treat yeast infections and that oregano oil and tea tree oil could also help, but she didn't have any oregano oil, so she mixed oregano from her cabinet and her tea tree shampoo with her strawberry yogurt from her fridge and decided to put it on a tampon and then up her vagina and had been for the past four days."
"What?" Maya said, laughing a little bit, "I…what?"
"That is exactly what I thought," Carina said, "First of all, the advice with yogurt is to eat it, not put it inside of you and the oregano oil, which doesn't have any scientific backing, is meant to be diffused or maybe rubbed on the skin of the abdomen and the tea tree oil is also not scientifically backed but there are some supplement companies who sell suppositories. And secondly, she used the worst possible versions of these things and then put them inside of her. So I did an exam, and…the smell…it was so confusing and disgusting. So I ended up having to remove the tampon she still had in, clean everything out and then treat not only the yeast infection but also the bacterial infection that she had given herself from putting that concoction inside of her for so long and then we had a very long conversation about what is appropriate to put inside of you and also the importance of getting medical treatment for medical problems."
"So she put yogurt and shampoo and oregano inside of her and thought that would fix her yeast infection?" Maya asked.
"Si," Carina said, "The misinformation and also misapplication of things never fails to shock me. I mean, it is simple. If your vagina is sick, take it to see me or any other of my amazing colleagues. Do not put half of your kitchen in it and think that will fix things. All that does is create worse infections. So that was my afternoon yesterday."
"Can you keep talking?" Maya asked, leaning her head back against Carina's chest.
"Si," Carina nodded, finishing up the brains she had been working on before snaking her arms around to rest on Maya's belly.
Trottolino had still been measuring 9 days behind at their last appointment, but Maya's bump, which had been over three weeks behind at her 20-week scan, was now playing catch up and getting bigger. She was over 25 weeks at this point and she was measuring around 23 weeks which was a step in the right direction.
"Alright," Carina said, "Oh, so I was reading through an article today about a woman with fibromyalgia who used orgasms so help treat her pain and she claimed it worked better than her normal pain medications which gave me another idea to add on to my list of possible research topics when I get back to that."
Carina's research was something they had talked about when they were trying to get pregnant, Maya not wanting Carina to feel like she couldn't pursue her passions because they were expanding their family, but Carina insisted that she didn't want to try to take on anything else now, just wanting to focus on their family at least until they had settled into life as a family of five. She wanted to enjoy the early moments with Trottolino and she also knew that if she started a project, she would end up spread way too thin and set herself up for her anxiety to flare and the inevitable breakdowns that would come with that.
She knew that there would be plenty of time to work on research as the kids got older, and she didn't want to not be present with her family at such an important time because of work. That was something her father did and she was very determined not to be him.
"Do you think a lot of chronic pain conditions could be helped with orgasms?" Maya asked, drawing Carina back to the present.
"Si," Carina nodded, "I do. Our body has ways of helping us relive pain, and that is one of them that so few people seem to know about. I want more people to have access to that knowledge and be able to use it as relief if they want to."
"Well, I know from experience it is helpful," Maya said, squeezing Carina's upper thigh a little bit, "And if I wasn't slightly worried that I would get sick on you, I would utilize it right now."
"Are you feeling any better?" Carina asked.
"Some," Maya sighed, "The tums are helping, just not as much as I was hoping. I feel less terrible though."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Carina asked, pressing a kiss to Maya's cheek.
"This is helping," Maya said, "Just relaxing against you makes me feel better."
"Is the station ready for the party tomorrow?" Carina asked.
"I think so," Maya nodded, "They were making food when I left this afternoon. I am excited for it. Community events are always a good opportunity to get support for the station and to help the community feel like they can trust us."
"They would be silly not to trust you," Carina said, "Station 19 is the best station in Seattle."
"I can't say that" Maya said, shaking her head, "I've got 6 other stations in my battalion who are also pretty excellent. Though if you want to say it, I won't fight you on it."
"You will always be a member of 19 in my eyes," Carina said, "I mean, I know you are the battalion chief and that is a much bigger job, but 19 will always be family."
Maya hummed in agreement, shifting a little to try to get herself somehow more comfortable. They spent a few more hours on the couch, eventually pulling out Maya's laptop and looking through their nursery designs again, finally settling on a light green color for the walls and a world map wallpaper for the wall behind the crib.
Mason had done the artwork for the twins' room and it was something they all loved, but with Laila due in just a few weeks, he did not have the time to come over and do another mural for Trottolino which was totally fine.
They picked out a few small pieces to add to the nursery including some little shelves for the wall that looked like clouds and a rug for the floor that was grey and the same color green they wanted for the walls. They knew they still needed to go get the paint, but they ordered the decorations at least.
By the time they were done with that, Maya was able to take another dose of Tums and then they headed up to bed.
A big change that had also happened recently was that Maya was finally actually hitting her oral fluid intake requirements every day so she hadn't needed to be hooked up to her PICC line at nights. They were actually considering removing it if things continued the way they had been which was a giant step that Maya was ready for.
The night went well, Maya having to sleep semi-sitting up for a while because of her reflux, but eventually, she was able to lay down.
The next morning, she was up around 6 am and headed down to the basement to do some yoga and lift some weights.
This was something that she had been adding slowly back into her routine in the past week and a half and to say she was happy about it was an understatement. It had been a point of contention between her and Carina for a few days, but Maya insisted she was feeling well enough to get back to moving her body. Carina knew she was right, but it didn't stop her from getting up with her wife for the first few days she had started her new routine to make sure she was ok.
Maya still had some dizziness if she held certain yoga positions too long, but she quickly learned what her body could tolerate and worked around that.
She was also lifting some, though not nearly as much as she had been pre-pregnancy because she had lost a lot of muscle tone during her struggle with HG. But she was getting back to it, listening to her body carefully and not pushing too hard, but also allowing her body to move in the way it was so used to again.
She hadn't started running again, not sure she would before the baby was born just because her body was sore and she didn't want to push it too much, but she was slowly starting to do some walking on the treadmill. The walks weren't fast or long or far, but it was movement in her body that didn't make her feel sick or exhausted and so she was happy.
Her pelvis was still incredibly sore and she was careful not to push it too far because she had one day and had basically ended up in tears by noon because she was in so much pain, but Carina had helped her figure out the best exercises she could do to not be in so much pain but still get a good workout in.
Once Maya was done with her workout, she headed upstairs to shower before everyone else woke up. It wasn't lost on her that just a few weeks ago, she was too sick and exhausted for any of this to sound remotely appealing, but she was so grateful she was no longer feeling that way.
She still had some nausea that was basically always there, but it just made her stomach feel unsettled and she was usually able to push passed it to at least be able to get some food in her. She was eating small amounts throughout the day but trying to do it more often in an attempt to help Trottolino get bigger. She was also hungry more than she had been before, though there were times when a handful of almonds would satiate that hunger so she wasn't eating a ton, but it was better than before.
She quickly finished up in the shower before getting dressed. Her body still did not feel like her own which was difficult some days, but she tried not to think too hard about it because she did love that her body was changing to help their youngest child grow. Also, being able to work out again was helping her get at least a small amount of her muscle tone back which felt amazing and while it didn't fix how she was feeling, it did help.
"Mommy," Rowan said as she wandered into the bathroom as Maya was brushing her hair.
"Good morning Patatina," Maya smiled, setting down her brush as she wrapped her arms around the toddler, "How was your sleep?"
"Good," Rowan said, smiling up at her mommy, "Is today the day we get to go to the station?"
"It is. You have to go to daycare, but after nap time, you will come to the station," Maya nodded, "But remember, we don't get to play with the lights and sirens, ok? But some of your cousins will be there to play."
"Yike Yuca and Wonnie and Pwu?" Rowan asked.
"Exactly," Maya nodded, "And there will be games and food and it should be fun."
"And Mamma and Noa and you and my baby Totoino will be there?" Rowan asked as she lifted up Maya's shirt, pressing a kiss to the bump.
"We will all be there," Maya nodded, "And your aunts and uncles too."
"Is my baby Totoino awake?" Rowan asked, pressing her hands to Maya's stomach.
"I think they are sleeping right now," Maya said, having not noticed any big movements from the baby in the last little bit, "But I bet they will wake up soon and I will tell you when they do, ok?"
"Okay," Rowan nodded, "But at the station, I tan't pick up your shirt."
"That's right," Maya nodded, "You can still feel Trottolino, but just over my shirt."
"How many days until my baby Totoino comes out of your 'gina?" Rowan asked.
"Well, today is July 4th," Maya said, "And Trottolino is supposed to come on October 15th, so that's a little over 100 days."
"That's so many days," Rowan sighed, "I want my baby Totoino to come now."
"I know," Maya said, rubbing her back, "But it is very important that Trottolino keeps growing inside of my uterus so they can be big enough to be born. Right now, they aren't very big yet and if they came right now, it would be too early and they would be very sick."
"Fine," Rowan sighed, "I don't want me baby Totoino to be sick."
"They will be here before you know it," Maya said, "Now, is your sister or Mamma awake?"
"I'm awake," Carina said, coming into the bathroom.
"Good morning," Maya said, giving her a quick kiss as Carina woke up a bit more.
"Buongiorno," Carina said, smiling sleepily at her wife as she pulled away, resting her hands on Maya's bump, immediately feeling a kick, "Oh, and Buongiorno to you too Trottolino."
"Mommy, is my baby Totoino awake?" Rowan asked, running over to them.
"Here," Carina said, taking Rowan's hand and placing it right where she had just felt the kick, the toddler's face lighting up as the baby kicked again.
"Gingourno my baby Totoino," Rowan said, "I love you."
The baby kicked again.
"They are saying they love you too Patatina," Carina smiled, "And I love you too. Buongiorno."
"Gingourno Mamma," Rowan said, turning around and giving Carina a hug, "We get to go to the station today. But Mommy said no wee woo."
"I know," Carina said, "We are going to go after you take a nap at daycare."
"I know," Rowan said, nodding.
"Should we go wake up Nora?" Maya asked, looking at the little blonde.
"Okay," Rowan nodded, taking Maya's hand as Carina stayed behind to use the bathroom and get ready a little bit.
The morning went smoothly, everyone getting out the door on time. The twins both insisted on wearing their Station 19 shirts which was totally fine and both Maya and Carina found it adorable.
They both had work this morning, but the Italian was going to be only on call for the afternoon and then all night so she was hoping she would be able to stay at the party thought if she couldn't, Maya would just take the twins.
Maya spent the morning going around to all the stations in the battalion, making sure they had everything they needed for the block parties they all were having, dropping off extra fire safety brochures and some other things the department had to encourage fire safety, especially on the 4th of July.
By the time she got back to 19, it was afternoon and while she knew she probably should eat something, she was exhausted from running around all morning so she went into her bunk, laying down in her bed and quickly falling asleep. She hadn't meant to sleep for long, but the next thing she knew, she felt the bed dip next to her and lips on her forehead.
"Ciao Bambina," Carina said, smiling as her wife opened her eyes.
"Hey," Maya said, stretching a little bit before sitting up, "Is it really already time for you to be here?"
"It is," Carina nodded as Nora crawled out of her arms and into Maya's arms, "How long did you sleep?"
"I think I got back here around 1," Maya said, rubbing Nora's back, "I was only going to lay down for like half an hour."
"Are you feeling ok?" Carina asked, noticing Maya seemed a little dazed.
"Yeah," Maya said, "I feel fine. Just a little groggy from sleeping so much. But I spent all morning going around to all the stations bringing supplies and helping them prep for their parties and it's so hot today. I think it just got to me a little."
"Mommy, are you sick?" Nora asked.
"No Piccola," Maya said, "I just got a little tired because I had a lot of work to do this morning. But I am ok. I just needed a nap."
"Have you been drinking enough?" Carina asked.
"I tried?" Maya said sheepishly.
"I'll go get you something to drink," Carina said, "What do you want?"
"Orange drink," Maya said, "I am going to go to the bathroom and then I'll meet you in the beanery?"
"Sounds good to me," Carina nodded.
"Piccola, can you get up?" Maya asked, "I am going to get up now too."
"Okay," Nora nodded, giving Maya one more hug before climbing off the bed before Carina helped Maya up.
It took a minute for Maya's head to catch up to her body, but once it did, she looked at her wife.
"Where is Rowan?" Maya asked.
"She's downstairs with Pru and Vic getting the engine ready for the party," Carina said.
"Of course," Maya nodded, "Nora, can you go with Mamma so I can go to the bathroom?"
"I need to go too," Nora said, holding tightly to Maya's hand.
"Alright," Maya nodded, "Come on."
Once bathroom breaks were taken and hands were cleaned, Maya and Nora headed into the beanery.
"Unca T," Nora shouted, seeing him in the kitchen prepping food for the party.
"Hey Bean," he said, wiping off his hands before crouching down as Nora ran into his arms.
"Here," Carina said, walking over to Maya, handing her a large tumbler of her drink, "Drink."
"Thanks," Maya said, taking a big sip, "This is exactly what I needed."
"Good," Carina said, "I know you want to help with this party today, but please come inside if you need to, ok? I don't want you overheating."
"I know," Maya said, "I will be careful. Promise. I am going to head downstairs and see how things are going."
"I'll come with you," Carina said, looking over at Nora who was helping Travis cut up brownies, "Piccola, do you want to stay up here or come downstairs?"
"Stay wif Unca T," Nora said, "But you aren't leaving?"
"We are just going to go downstairs," Maya assured her, "To go check on how everything else is going. But we aren't leaving the station."
"Okay," Nora nodded as she continued helping Travis.
"She is doing so well," Maya said as they headed out of the beanery, "I am so proud of her."
"So am I," Carina said, "I was even thinking, I know you had said you didn't want to go away for a babymoon outside of Seattle because of the girls, but what if we did a trial overnight with then at Andrea's or something just to see how it goes and then if they do well, we can try to plan an actual weekend away for just the two of us."
"That actually doesn't sound like a terrible plan," Maya said, "I mean, I have been feeling better and they have been doing better and it kinda feels like maybe we could pull it off. But I think we need to trial it before we commit to a weekend away."
"I completely agree," Carina nodded, "Maybe next month? So we have some time to prepare them?"
"Sounds perfect," Maya nodded as they walked into the barn, the engine the only truck currently inside as the rest of the space was filled with tables and activities for the neighborhood.
"There you are," Andy said, coming over to them, "I was worried something happened."
"I just was really tired," Maya said, "I was only going to lay down for a little bit, but it turned into a longer nap than I anticipated. Is everything going ok down here?"
"It is," Andy nodded, "And people are starting to show up. Dean and Sullivan are taking care of the grill and Vic is manning the engine per Pru's request. Warren, Keller, Barnes, and Anderson are manning the tables to pass out information. I think we are good."
"Maya," they heard, the blonde turning around to see her brother and niece walking over to them.
"Hey Mason," Maya said, smiling at him, "I didn't think you guys were going to make it."
"I wasn't sure we were going to either, but Laila was tired and I thought this princess and I could get out of the house and give her some peace and quiet for a few hours."
"How is Laila doing?" Carina asked.
"She is very over being pregnant," Mason said, "He could literally come any day now and she wants him to come yesterday. But she is alright. Just tired and sore."
"I know the feeling," Maya nodded, "And I'm not even anywhere near as far along as she is. I can't even imagine what that stage is going to be like."
"Daddy," Josie said, pulling on her dad's arm, pointing at the fire engine.
"You can go in there," Maya nodded, "Rowan is playing in there right now."
"Daddy," Josie said, clinging to him. "Do you want me to go with you Princess?" Mason asked.
"Yes," Josie nodded, "Alright," Mason said, carrying her over to the engine.
Over the next hour, things went well, Maya taking a small break to go sit in the station where it was air conditioned when she started to overheat and get too sore, but overall, the party was going smoothly. Unfortunately, after the first hour, Carina got paged into work to help because there were a few more women in labor than anticipated for the day and they needed extra hands to help for a little while. Carina quickly kissed the girls and Maya before heading off to the hospital. Nora wasn't a hug fan of Carina leaving, but she was playing with her cousins and aunts and uncles so it was fine. The block party was supposed to last from 3-7 pm and then the station crew was going to head up to the roof for a continued party and to watch the fireworks, all of them fully knowing they would likely get called out before the show, but it was still the plan. Around 6:30, things were starting to wind down. Maya was sitting at a table talking to some of the people from the neighborhood, Nora having just crawled up in her lap, when suddenly, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. As she turned around, she felt her blood run cold.
"Lane, you cannot be here," Maya said calmly.
"It's an event open to the public," he said, "I am the public."
"Travis," Maya said, seeing him walking by just then, all but throwing Nora at him, getting close enough to whisper in his ear, "Take her and Rowan and get them upstairs now."
"Is this one of your little pretend kids?" Lane asked, reaching out to touch Nora only to have Maya stand up and get between them as Travis quickly moved away.
"Stay the hell away from my daughter," Maya snarled, "And leave my station before I call the cops and report that you are breaking your restraining order."
"What happened to you kid?" Lane said, looking down, seeing Maya's bump, "Did the stress of pretending to be a mommy make you let go of your appearance?"
"Hey," Mason said, having been on the other side of the barn talking to Dean and Keller while he watched Josie play with bubbles with some other kids, sending her with Travis and Vic who were taking the Bishop-Deluca kids upstairs and away from all of this as soon as he realized what was happening, "What do you think you are doing here?"
"Oh, look, my loser son is here too," Lane said, "Wow. I am shocked. Are you here because all the drug dens were closed for a federal holiday."
"Go to hell," Mason said.
Unlike his sister, Mason hadn't seen Lane in a long time because Lane didn't care about him and didn't try to harass him like he would do with Maya from time to time.
"That's no way to speak to your father," Lane said.
"You are not my father," Mason spat back, "A father is there for his children and loves them unconditionally and supports them and encourages them and provides for them and you did none of those things, so no, Lane, you are not my father, but you do need to get the hell out."
"Seriously, I will call the police," Maya said, "I have a restraining order out and you are in violation of it."
"Sir, you need to leave," Dean said, coming over to try to help, though Lane ignored him.
"Where is that 'wife' of yours?" Lane asked, "Did she finally get deported? Oh, wait she couldn't have because she would have had to have taken her kids with her since they aren't yours."
"Never speak about my wife or my children again," Maya said, balling her fists.
"I seriously can't believe it," Lane said, shaking his head, "How are you even still employed here? You look awful. Wait, are you pregnant? Is that what happened to that stupid foreigner you were living with? Did you finally come to your senses and find yourself a husband to have a proper family with?"
Maya was about to swing, but Dean held her back.
"He isn't worth it," Dean said.
"Let me go," Maya said in a low voice, "He cannot talk about my wife like that."
Just then, they heard a car pull up outside and before they knew what was happening, in walked two police officers.
"We got a call about a restraining order violation?" one officer said.
"That man there," Andy said, quickly guiding the officers over to Lane.
"Sir, what's going on?" they asked.
"I just came to this public event," Lane said, "That's not a crime."
"It is when she as a restraining order out against you," Dean said, pointing to Maya who he had let go of once the officers walked into the barn.
"Is that true Chief Bishop?" the office asked her.
"Yes," Maya said, "My wife and I have had a restraining order out against him for 5 years."
"Sir, why don't you come with me," one of the officers said as the other officer walked up to Maya, getting the information to look up the restraining order, seeing that it was still valid and that clearly Lane was in violation.
He filed a report, asking Maya several questions before moving on to talk to other people around to talk to Mason, Maya just standing there, shellshocked.
"Mai, you alright?" Andy asked, walking over to her.
"Where are my babies?" Maya asked, feeling like the walls were closing in on her and that all she needed was to make sure the girls were ok and she couldn't remember where they were.
"They are upstairs with Travis and Vic and…" Andy started but as soon as she heard that, Maya took off running.
She bolted up the steps, finding Travis and Vic in the longue, Rowan sitting on the couch with Josie, Ronnie, and Pru while Nora was sitting in Travis's lap with a cartoon on the TV.
"Mommy," Nora said, reaching for her as soon as she saw her, Maya not even thinking as she picked her up and held her close, stroking her hair as she buried her face in the toddler's neck.
"Mommy, what's wrong?" Rowan asked, climbing off the couch and walking over to her.
Maya tried to speak, but she felt like her words were stuck in her throat.
" Bambina," she heard from behind her, turning to see Carina standing there, still in her scrubs, concern plastered all over her face.
"Mamma," Rowan said, running over to her. "Hi Patatina," Carina said, picking her up as she walked over to Maya and Nora, immediately seeing how panicked her wife looked, "Hey, Bambine, can you stay here with Zio Travis and Zia Vic and your cousins so Mommy and I can go talk?"
"But you will come back?" Nora asked, looking at them.
"We will come back," Carina confirmed, Maya still unable to speak, "We are just going to go down to her office and talk, ok?"
Nora nodded as Carina set Rowan back down on the couch before taking Nora from Maya's arms, handing her back to Travis.
"Come on Bambina," Carina said, taking her wife's hands.
Pretty much as soon as the door closed behind them, the full panic attack started, Maya struggling to breathe as Carina quickly guided her into her bunk, sitting her down on the bed.
"You need to breathe for me Bambina," Carina said, getting down in front of her, taking her hands, "Eyes on me and we are going to breathe together, ok?"
Maya tried to breathe, but all that came out was a gag, Carina grabbing the trashcan and getting it under her wife's chin not a moment too soon as the blonde was sick over and over again as Carina tried to help her calm down. It took way longer than either of them wanted for Maya to be able to get control of her body and breathing back but eventually, it did happen.
"Lane showed up here," Maya said once the post-panic attack tears let up enough that she could speak, "Why can't he just leave us alone?"
"Andy told me what happened," Carina said, the two of them now reclining on the bed, Maya between Carina's legs, "I am so sorry I wasn't here."
"He…he is just such a horrible person," Maya said, "He basically told me the girls aren't my kids and then asked if I had finally gotten smart and gotten a husband to impregnate me…It makes me feel…gross and almost dirty and I hate it."
"You are not dirty Bambina," Carina sighed, kissing her wife's cheek, "Nothing you did makes you dirty. He should be the one feeling dirty for how he acted."
The feeling of being wrong or dirty or somehow less than because of who she loved was something Maya had been struggling with since she was 12 and first had a crush on a girl in her math class. However, at that time, she was also hearing from her dad at home all the time about how wrong it was for men to love men and women to love women and for anyone to be together other than a man and woman and that it was sick and disgusting when it happened any other way.
Maya had fought against those feelings for a while, but she eventually just let herself feel some of those feelings though in her mind, eventually, she would end up with a man and it would be fine. It still was fine now, or better than fine actually, it was about as close to perfect as she could even believe existed, but Lane's voice was sometimes loud, especially when he was right in front of her, and Maya had to deal with the internalized homophobia he had planted in her head for her entire life.
She was confident in who she was most of the time and she loved her wife and family more than anything, but after hearing what Lane said tonight, the feelings she had spent years in therapy deconstructing and processing and trying to remove from her head were fighting to get back into her head. Not like they were when she young, but it still was hard to feel like that at all.
She never had those feelings about her wife and never viewed Carina as being wrong for loving her, but she would feel that about herself. She has talked to her wife about all of this years ago so the Italian knew these thoughts existed and knew how damaging and painful Lane's words were to Maya.
"I shouldn't let what he says affect me," Maya said quietly after a few minutes, "I…I love you and our girls and our family and I am so proud of us, but hearing what he said…it makes me feel 15 all over again and I just wish…I wish it didn't hurt so much."
"I know," Carina said, holding her close, rocking her a little bit, "I wish it didn't hurt you so much too, but however you are feeling right now is ok. At the end of the day, he was, at one point, someone important in your life and someone you wanted to please and I know and you know that you are no longer that person who needs to please him anymore, but it doesn't mean that some part of your brain isn't still wired to respond when you hear what he says. You have made such amazing progress Bambina, and I am so so proud of you, and just because hearing Lane say horrible things about you and our family upsets you and hurts you and even makes you feel bad, it does not take away from how far you have come, ok? The fact that you are here and letting yourself talk about how he made you feel is such big progress, even just since the last time this happened."
"Why can't he just leave me alone?" Maya asked quietly, "Leave us alone? I just don't want him to be a part of my life at all."
"He thrives on power," Carina said, "And he lost his power over you and it makes him feel powerless which is not a fun feeling so he lashes out. Why he chose today to come here, I don't know, but now he is in police custody and the laws in Washington mean he will likely end up in jail or with a large fine or both and maybe that will keep him away from us for a while."
"I hope so," Maya said, just trying to be present and not let her thoughts drift too much before she thought of something else, "Shit, where is Mason? He hasn't seen Lane in over a decade. I need to go check on him."
"Hey, slow down," Carina said as Maya tried to get up quickly only to get dizzy, "He was downstairs talking to Ben last I saw. We can go check on him, but you have to go slow for a minute."
"I know," Maya sighed, letting her head adjust to being upright, "God, I really hope he is ok."
"Let's go see," Carina said, helping her wife up.
The two of them made their way downstairs finding Mason still talking to Ben in the barn.
"Hey," Maya said, walking over to them.
"Hey," Mason said, looking at her.
"Are you ok?" they both asked at the same time, small smiles forming on their lips as they did so, Ben and Carina both backing away a bit to talk to each other, though the Italian stayed close to her wife just in case.
"Are you alright?" Maya asked again, worried about her brother.
"I weirdly think I am," Mason said, "I…That was the first time I had seen him since I was like 20 and…seeing him, I realized that he really is as terrible as I remember and that I am not the person he seems to think I am. I don't know how to explain it, but I am ok. Are you alright? He didn't really come after me, but he did you. I am so sorry for what he said. I'm sure you already know, but none of that garbage is true."
"I'm glad you are ok," Maya said, "I…will be fine. This isn't the first time he has done this, though it is the first time he wouldn't leave. I'm a little shaken up, but it will be fine."
"You are an amazing mom, Maya," Mason said, looking at his big sister, "I just…Just know that no matter what Lane says, you are the most amazing mommy those girls could ever have and your family is one of the healthiest and strongest families I know. You and Carina both inspire me so much."
"Thank you," Maya said softly, looking down at her feet, trying to get the tears out of her eyes, "Um, I think I am going to go upstairs and hug my kids again."
"I think I am too," Mason said, "I was kinda angry after all of that and I didn't want to be around Jo when I was feeling like that, but I feel better now."
"Good," Maya nodded with a smile, "Come on. Let's go find our kids."
Carina joined them as they walked upstairs, linking hands with her wife, giving her a reassuring squeeze. They walked into the longue, finding all the kids still watching a movie, Rowan holding Josie's hand.
"Daddy," Josie said, climbing down off the couch.
"Hi Princess," Mason said, picking her up, "Are you having fun?"
"Watch a mobie," Josie said, pointing at the TV.
"I hope that's ok," Vic said, standing up, "We didn't really know what else to do with them to keep them distracted and…"
"It's totally fine," Mason said, "My wife is 38 weeks pregnant so we have been watching a lot of movies lately because she hasn't been feeling up too much else."
"Mommy have baby bruda," Josie said.
"That's right," Mason said, "Mommy is going to have your baby brother soon."
"Mommy," Nora said, reaching for Maya. "Hi Piccola," Maya said, sitting down on another chair before taking Nora into her lap.
"Mommy, tan we go home?" Nora asked.
"You don't want to stay and watch fireworks tonight with everyone?" Maya asked.
"I wanna go home," Nora said.
"Ok," Maya said, "We can go home. Let's go talk to Mamma."
"Talk to Mamma about what?" Carina asked, sitting down on the arm of the chair with Rowan in her arms.
"I wanna go home," Nora said.
"Oh," Carina said, "Well, that's ok. We can go home. Rowan, is that ok with you?"
"Otay Mamma," Rowan nodded.
"Hey, we are going to head out," Mason said, coming over to Maya and Carina, "Josie is tired and I should probably get home to Laila."
"I'm glad you could come," Maya said, smiling at him, "Sorry for how things went down."
"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong," Mason said. "Let us know if you guys need anything," Carina said, "And tell Laila I hope the last few weeks of her pregnancy go well."
"Thanks," Mason said, "I can't believe he is almost here. It feels like we just found out she was pregnant."
"It goes fast," Carina nodded.
"Not fast enough," Maya said, hand on her own bump.
Once Mason and Josie left, Maya went down to her office, Nora coming with her, to grab her bag.
"You guys are leaving?" Andy asked as they walked past where she was getting things put away.
"We are," Maya nodded, "That was…a lot and these two are tried."
"I understand," Andy nodded, "If you need anything, just let me know, ok?"
"Thanks," Maya nodded.
After quick goodbyes with everyone, the Bishop-Deluca's headed to their cars.
"Why don't I drive all of us home?" Carina said, knowing that while Maya was ok, she was pretty shaken.
She also just didn't want her wife out of her sight at the moment, feeling very needy.
"I'm fine to drive home," Maya said, "It's not that far."
"Are you sure?" Carina asked.
"I'm fine Carina," Maya snapped before taking a breath, "Sorry. I'm sorry. I can drive myself home. I promise. I will meet you there?"
"Alright," Carina said, "Bambine, come on."
"No, I want Mommy," Nora cried.
"Fine," Maya said, "Come on."
Rowan went with Carina and within ten minutes, everyone was home.
"Are you two ready for bed?" Maya asked, looking at the girls.
"Tan we cuddle?" Nora asked.
"How about we put on pajamas and then we can cuddle?" Carina suggested.
Once the girls were in their pajamas, all four of them piled into Maya and Carina's bed.
"Why did dat man yell?" Nora asked, as she cuddled close to Maya, "And why did he say pretend? We weren't playing pretend?"
Maya thought her heart might break, having never wanted any of her kids to be around Lane and hear how terrible he was.
"Well, that man's name is Lane," Maya said, "And he is my dad, but he is not a very nice man."
"Why?" Rowan asked.
"I don't know," Maya said, "Sometimes, people are just not nice. And sometimes, they think that in order to make themselves feel better, they have to make other people feel bad about themselves which is no okay."
"But why can he just be nice?" Rowan asked, "Maybe we should tell him to be nice."
"No," Maya said quickly, startling both girls, "I mean, no, we are not going to talk to him. I tried for a long time to ask him to be nice, but he just didn't. So instead, we are just not going to see him."
"But he's your daddy," Rowan said, confused, "Don't you love him yike Harpa loves her daddy?"
Maya sucked in a breath, trying not to start crying as Carina took over.
"Sometimes, when people are very unkind, even if they are your dad or mom or sister or brother or anyone in your family, you don't want to see them," Carina explained, "And sometimes you don't love them anymore or sometimes you still love them but you don't want to be around them because they are mean to you. And that is ok. It is healthy to not want to be around people who want to hurt you."
"Your daddy hurts you?" Nora said with big eyes.
"He does," Maya said honestly as tears ran down her cheeks, "He says some very mean things that hurt me."
"That's not nice," the little brunette said as she gave Maya a hug, "I'm sorry Mommy."
"It's ok Piccola," Maya said as Rowan also joined the hug, "I mean, it does hurt, but I will be alright. But your hugs are helping me a lot."
"Mamma, you too," Rowan said, looking at Carina, "Mommy needs hugs from you too."
"Ok," Carina chuckled, moving closer to her wife, wrapping her up in a big hug before whispering in her ear "I love you so much Bambina."
Maya knew that she was probably going to have more feelings about everything that happened with Lane and that she would likely have to spend some time with Diane dealing with said feelings, but she also knew that she had the best family in the entire world who would be there to love her through it.
The days following the run-in with Lane were challenging. Maya started having nightmares which would wake her up in a panic more times than not, but Carina was almost always there, holding her and making sure she was ok, though the Italian had a few days of 24-hour shifts that kept her away from her wife and kids which was hard on all of them. Maya talked to Diane and they worked on techniques to help with the nightmares that hadn't worked perfectly, but it was helping a little bit.
They had contacted their lawyer who assured them they would keep up with what was happening with Lane and help them if they needed to go to court or anything.
A few days after the 4th of July, they got a call that Laila was in labor and around 9 pm on the 7th, they got another text with a picture of a brand-new baby and the words "Here is your new nephew. He doesn't have a name yet, but we will let you know. Mom and baby are doing well."
"Wow," Maya said, studying the photo on her phone, "Look at him. He kinda looks like a little alien."
"Maya," Carina said, hitting her shoulder a little bit, "That is your nephew."
"He still looks like an alien," Maya shrugged, "Most babies do."
"You didn't think the bambine looked like aliens," Carina said, looking at her wife.
"They were the cutest babies ever," Maya said, "Objectively."
"Oh, because you have no bias at all," Carina said, reaching out her hand for Maya's phone.
"They were adorable," Maya said, "And Trottolino is hopefully going to take after their sisters and not their new cousin."
"Maya, you cannot say things like that about your nephew," Carina said, looking at the picture of the baby, making a little bit of a face.
"Ha," the pregnant woman said, "See, you think he looks like an alien too."
"Not an alien," Carina said, "But…well…I mean, I always tell moms who are worried that babies get cuter once the swelling from birth goes down. Did Mason say how Laila was doing?"
"She is tired," Maya said, "But she's doing well. He said we can go visit tomorrow if we want to."
"I work tomorrow," Carina said, "I'm on a twenty-four-hour shift."
"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Maya said, "And I have meetings all day and I don't think dragging Nora and Rowan to Seattle Pres after work will be a good idea. Maybe I'll tell him we will come by once they are home and settled?"
"Si," Carina nodded, "That is a good idea."
And that is how, about a week later, the Bishop-Deluca family found themselves at Mason and Laila's house, lasagna in Carina's hands, salad in Maya's, cookies in Nora's and a gift in Rowan's.
"Hey," Mason said as he opened the door, "Come on in."
"Here Unca Mae," Rowan said, handing him the cookies, "These are for since Zia Yaiya had a baby."
"Thanks Rowan," Mason said.
"Ciao Mason," Carina said as they came in, "How are you?"
"Tired," Mason said, "I mean, between the baby and Josie, it has been a lot. We are lucky Laila's mom has been able to come over and help us with Jo a lot, but still. Have two this young is a lot. But we are figuring it out."
"How has Josie been?" Maya asked as she slipped off her shoes which were now always just a little bit tight as her feet were slightly puffy now at 27 weeks pregnant.
"It has been an adjustment," Mason said, noticing his sister struggling with the container in her hands, "Here, I can take that."
"Thanks," Maya said as she handed Mason the bowl before getting her shows all the way off, "My shoes are all jus slightly too tight now and it makes getting them off and on harder."
"You guys can go on into the living room," Mason said, taking the lasagna from Carina, "Laila is upstairs changing the baby because he had a massive blowout right before you got here."
Maya, Carina, Nora and Rowan all walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch.
"Where is the baby?" Rowan asked, having been told they were coming over to see the new baby.
"He is upstairs with Zia Laila getting his diaper changed," Carina said.
"Where is Josie?" Nora asked, not seeing her cousin.
"She's also upstairs with Laila," Mason said, "She has been very attached to Mommy lately. I'm sure they will be down in a minute. Can I get you guys anything?"
"No," Maya said as Carina shook her head. Just then, they heard footsteps coming down the steps, Laila, Josie, and the new baby appearing a minute later.
"Look who's here," Mason said.
"Noa and Owan," Josie said, "Yook. My baby bruda."
"Do you remember his name Jo?" Laila asked.
"Nafan," Josie said before going over to Nora, the two of them disappearing to the playroom. "Nathaniel Luca Henderson," Mason said, "But we are calling him Nathan."
"That is an adorable name," Carina said, smiling.
When Mason and Laila got married, Mason decided to change his last name to Laila's instead of the other way around because he wanted distance between himself and the Bishop line. He loved his sister and mother, but Katherine had gone back to her maiden name after the divorce and Maya was now Bishop-Deluca and Mason just felt that in order to feel like he fully had the fresh start that his family was, he needed a new last name. Laila had a great relationship with her family and was more than happy to have Mason take her last name.
"Nathaniel was a name we both really liked and about the only one we could agree on," Laila said as she sat down.
"And Luca is after the two of you," Mason said.
"What?" Maya said, looking at her brother.
"Like a shortened version of Deluca," Mason said, "We both really look up to you as parents and wanted to give our son a name that had some significance to us. Josie's middle name is after Laila's mom and we thought Nathan's should be after someone special too and well, Maya or Carina didn't really work with Nathaniel so we chose Luca."
"Wow," Maya said, looking at her brother and sister-in-law and then her wife and then back to Mason and Laila, "Thank you."
"Si," Carina said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.
"I mean, you did give your daughter my name as a middle name so…," Mason said, "And outside of our little family, you two are the closest family I have."
"Would one of you like to hold him?" Laila asked as the baby stretched a little, "He is fed, changed, and should be happy at least for a little bit."
"I want to hold him," Rowan said, almost bouncing up and down.
"Ok," Mason said, "But can you come with me to wash your hands?"
"Why?" Rowan asked, looking at her hands, "They aren't dirty."
"Patatina, remember how we talk about germs that can make us sick?" Carina said, earning her a nod from Rowan, "Well, you might have some germs on your hands and they might not make you sick, but baby Nathan is very tiny and so you need to keep your hands extra clean before you touch him, ok?"
"Ok," Rowan nodded, grabbing Mason's hand and dragging him toward the bathroom, "Tome on Unca Mae."
"Is it ok if she hold him?" Maya asked, "One of us can and then let her sit next to us."
"It's totally fine," Laila said, "Josie likes to practice holding him sometimes so he is used to it, though she never lasts more than about two minutes."
"How has she been with him?" Carina asked.
"She has been good for the most part," Laila said, "Some jealousy and just a lot of whining and fussing. But she's only two so I wasn't expecting anything different. And my mom has been coming over a lot and playing with her when she's not at daycare which has been helpful."
"Okay," Rowan said, running back into the living room, "My hands are all clean. Now can I hold the baby?"
"Alright," Laila said as Mason picked up the boppy pillow, "Now, sit all the way back and then Uncle Mason is going to put the pillow on you and then I will put Nathan on the pillow, ok?"
"Okay," Rowan nodded, doing as she was told.
Mason helped her get situated, Carina quickly ducking into the bathroom to wash her own hands.
"Ok," Mason said, taking the baby from Laila since he was at a better angle to hand him to Rowan, "Here you go."
Mason carefully set Nathan down on Rowan's lap, holding his head as Rowan tried her best to hold him.
"Aww," Rowan cooed, "He's so cutie. Yook Mommy. He has yittle hands."
"I see that," Maya said, nodding as she took a picture, "Just don't touch his face, ok?"
"Why?" Rowan asked.
"Because there are lots of places germs can get in on his face," Laila explained, "And I know you just washed your hands, but it's still better not to touch his face."
"Tan I touch his hair?" Rowan asked.
"Sure," Mason nodded.
"It's soft," Rowan said, looking up at Mason with wide eyes.
"It is," Mason nodded with a smile.
"Mommy, when my baby Totoino comes, will they have soft hair?" Rowan asked, looking at Maya.
"I don't know," Maya said honestly, "Some babies have lots of hair like Nathan and some babies have not a lot of hair, like you when you were a baby."
"But now I have yots of hair," Rowan said.
"You do," Maya nodded, "Because you are a big girl now, but I don't know if Trottolino will have a lot of hair or not. We have to wait."
"I yike baby Nafan," Rowan said, looking down at him when suddenly, his arm moved, "Yook. He moved."
"He does that," Laila said, laughing, "Just like you move."
"Tan we take him home wif us?" Rowan asked.
"No Patatina," Carina said, laughing as she walked back into the room, "He is Zia Laila and Zio Mason's baby so he has to stay here with them. We are going to have our own baby in not that long. Only a few more months."
"Dat's so yong," Rowan sighed, "I want a baby now."
"Well, you can come over and visit with baby Nathan until your baby comes," Mason said. Rowan sighed and then went back to looking at the baby.
She held him for a fairly long time before Nora and Josie came in to look for her. Nora then decided to take a turn holding the baby for a minute before all three of them ran off to play and Nathan ended up in Carina's arms.
"How are you feeling Laila?" Carina asked as she adjusted the little baby on her chest, "How has your recovery been so far?"
"It has been good," Laila said, "Easier than with Jo because this little man had a smaller head than his big sister and didn't end up needing an emergency c-section. I'm sore but it's not too bad. He has been eating like a champ though he seems to have his days and nights backwards so we are pretty tired because Josie is up during the day and he is up at night."
"Do you not like to let your mom and dad sleep?" Carina said, looking down at Nathan who was half asleep on her chest.
"That he does not," Mason said, "But it has been kinda nice to only have my art classes to teach a few hours a week because it's summer so we trade off with who gets up with him at night."
"How are you feeling Maya?" Laila asked, "Mason mentioned you were doing better at the 4th."
"I am getting there," Maya nodded, "I am in the process of weaning off my last antinausea medication currently and it has been going well. I still don't feel great most of the time, but the nausea isn't overwhelming anymore and I am getting more food down. They are probably going to pull my PICC line at my next appointment which I can't wait for. I don't use it at all anymore. And other than that, I'm just achy and tired. Normal pregnancy stuff."
"Good," Laila said, "I am so happy for you. I cannot even imagine going through what you went through."
"It was a lot," Maya nodded, "But hopefully that is in the past and we can just keep moving forward. Though October cannot come fast enough."
"I'm sure," Laila said.
"Sorry," Maya said, awkwardly forcing herself up and off the couch, an activity that was getting more difficult as her bump grew though she was still measuring behind, "I need to use the bathroom."
When she came back, she sat down next to her wife, looking at the baby in her arms.
"Did you want a turn?" Carina asked.
"I don't know," Maya said, "It's been a long time since I held one that small."
"You don't have to," Carina said, "But it's kinda nice to hold a newborn again."
"Ok," Maya said, situating herself a bit fore Carina carefully passed Nathan to her.
"Hello Nathan," she said, looking at him, "I'm your Aunt Maya. It's nice to finally meet you. In a few months, you are going to have a little cousin, but he or she is not quite ready to be born yet. Hopefully you two will like each other, but we will see once they are born and you are bigger."
Nathan let out a little squeal, Maya looking at Mason.
"He likes to be held on your chest," Mason said, "I don't know why, but it is his favorite."
"Ok," Maya said, "There you go Nathan. Is that more comfortable?"
The baby just nuzzled against her chest for a second before letting out a little sigh and closing his eyes. Maya stared down at the little lump on her chest and for a minute, her eyes wandered down to her belly, letting her mind drift to think about the moments they were going to be making with their own new little addition in just a few months' time.
What did you think? I am going to try to get the next chapter up before Christmas, but the next few days are going to be kinda busy so we shall see, though the next one is half written so maybe there is hope. I realized while looking up something in the first part of this series that it has been exactly 2 years since A Bambina or Bambino of Our Own was first published which is crazy to me. When I originally started writing that story, it was going to be a one-shot and now, here we are two years later with three parts to this series. Your support through all of it has been absolutely amazing and I am so grateful for every one of you. Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and following and favoriting. You all make me so happy.