disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter and those who reviewed! Updates will continue to be irregular. Also, this story will have no sexual content. I don't think I put that before. And this is unbeta'd and on a Friday again!

Happy pride month, a little late!

Enjoy!

Jack hated the room. He hated hospital rooms in general. But the room seemed like a place where Carter shouldn't have been at all. It was mostly white. The blanket was a pale blue, but that hardly mattered. Jack wanted there to be some color.

Carter looked like she was disappearing into the room, like it was slowly claiming her, absorbing her. Every day she stayed asleep, the more it took her.

The walls were white. The sheets were white. The floor and ceiling were white. The hospital gown the doctor's had put her in was white. With her pale face and her blonde hair seeming paler than before, it looked like she was being sucked in more and more every day.

Jack wanted to toss her over his shoulder and carry her out of here. Not that it would do her any good.

Daniel was sitting by the bed, Teal'c standing in silent vigil by the window.

It was something that Jack was all too used to. A part of him did wonder if Nurse Andrews was right. If they should stop coming. Because there was nothing but them sitting in a room with an unconscious person that hadn't woken up in nearly four months and gave no sign of waking up any time soon.

"Jack." Daniel said, as if they hadn't prearranged this.

"Daniel. Teal'c. How is she?"

"There has been no change in Major Carter's condition." Teal'c said.

Jack had known that. If there had been any chage in her condition, positive or negative, he would have liked to think that Daniel would have pretty much come screaming down the hall to go and find him. That hadn't happened, of course.

He chose not to say anything, dragging a chair to sit on the other side of the bed. The steady beep of the machine was driving him insane already, even though he knew that it was a good thing. Even though it was the thing that assured them that Carter was still alive. That she was still there. Though a part of Jack still wondered if she was really there.

Everything said that there was at least some part of her still there. She was breathing on her own. Every now and again she moved. But that was it. There was nothing else. She didn't acknowledge them. She didn't open her eyes. She didn't do anything.

Jack was starting to wonder if the nurse that he hated was right. Was there really any point in coming anymore? Had there ever been any point?

He didn't know the answer to that and that was something that he hated. Staring at Carter, he took note of the scar on her forehead. It had healed well. It was just a slight discoloration, really, something that could probably be hidden with makeup. But all Jack could see was the hole in Carter's head, blood pouring out of it.

It didn't matter that head wounds bled a lot. When he had seen that, he had thought she was dead. He was still afraid that it would cause her to die. Jack hated being afraid.

He listened as Daniel talked to Sam. Daniel was of the mind that coma patients could hear everything that was going on around them and had told off Jack for some of the things that he had said in frustration a month or so earlier. Jack was of the mind that even if Carter could hear them right now, there was no way that she was going to remember anything that they said to her.

But Daniel updated Carter on things that were going on. Things that she had missed. He told her funny little stories and things like that, hoping to get a response out of her. He never had and Jack had long given up the hope that Carter would react to anything that any of them did. She hadn't respond to any of them. She hadn't responded to Cassie when Fraiser had brought her by. She hadn't responded in the first few weeks when her father and brother had both been here. That had been tense.

Jacob was back with Tok'ra now and Mark had returned to San Diego. Daniel had his number in case something happened. Jack had no desire to speak with the man. He had no clue how Carter was even related to the guy. They had the same blue eyes and the same stubbornness, but other than that, Jack couldn't see how they could possibly be related. Mark had seemed more uncomfortable with his sister's condition than anything else.

Jack stewed on these thoughts. Teal'c didn't say much when they were here together. He had said very little, but that was just Teal'c's way, so Jack didn't worry too much about it. Teal'c had suggested that they perform a version of a healing ceremony used among Jaffa. Fraiser had banned it on account of the ungodly amount of candles in required and the fact that Carter didn't have a symbiote.

Jack wasn't sure that he had thought tha it would work for Carter, but he wished that Fraiser had let them try it, because he was willing to try pretty much everything at this point. He shifted, listening to Daniel but not really listening. He picked up the chart hanging on the end of the bed, even though he wasn't supposed to. But if the doctors didn't want people reading it, then they shouldn't have left them there in plain sight.

Nothing on Carter's chart was anything that he didn't already know. It might have been faniced up in doctor speech, but nothing had changed. Nothing was good. Nothing was bad. It just was. And that, frankly, sucked.

So they sat there and listened to Daniel talk. Said a few things to each other. It wasn't much. But it had to be enough. Jack knew that Daniel didn't like it when he was mostly silent. When he didn't talk to Carter. But he didn't care. What could he say to her that he hadn't already said? What had changed?

Not a damn thing.

Eventually, Daniel and Teal'c went to get coffee, leaving Jack alone with Sam. He shifted, glancing around. He looked at his second-in-command, having to work hard not to count her heartbeats.

"Can you even here me in there, Carter?" he asked.

No response.

Of course there wasn't. Why would she give him that? Why would she give him some clue that she was still in there, still fighting?

Jack didn't say anything else, because it felt weird to be talking to Carter like this.

He was surprised when Fraiser walked in. He looked up.

"Ah, Colonel O'Neill. Alone today, are you?" she said, walking around the other side of the bed.

"Daniel took Teal'c to get coffee."

"Ah. I trust you've been behaving yourself."

"How have I misbehaved?" Jack asked, feeling more normal with this interaction.

"How about that time I walked in on you giving Sam a sternal rub?"

"That wasn't misbehaving."

That had been hoping. Hoping that the painful stimuli would wake her up. In Jack's mind, it had been worth a try. And he had been pretty desperate then.

"Well, if I catch you doing it again, I'll have to ban you."

He knew that Fraiser was joking and that actually put him more at ease. He had no idea why. But he watched as she checked the machines. Shone a light in Carter's eyes. Other things. She got no response. Jack shifted.

"Do you think she's still in there?" he asked.

Fraiser glanced at him.

"Where is this coming from?"

"Do you, Doc?"

"Yes. I think our girl's still in there. She might be wandering around in her mind, might be a little bit lost, but there's no reason she won't come back to us."

"How about four months? That enough reason?"

Fraiser sighed lightly. She was rubbing one of Carter's hands between her own, as if to warm it.

"These things take time, Colonel. We can't rush it."

Jack knew that. There was no rushing Carter on a good day. Why could he expect to be able to rush her now?

There were a lot of things that he wanted to say to Fraiser right now. He didn't know how to say them. He needed to say them. But he couldn't figure out how. So Jack remained quiet, watching as she did things to and for Carter, talking to her. Like she was listening. Like she could hear every word that was being said and would know that she had heard it.

That made Jack uncomfortable with how he had been handling things. He shifted, thinking that he might go and get coffee himself, because suddenly he couldn't stand to be in the room with Carter just laying there, somewhere between life and death. Jack made himself stay put, because something else that he couldn't stand was leaving her alone.

He always did. But now that he was here, he was going to stay for as long as he could.

Fraiser finished what she was doing and squeezed Carter's limp hand. Jack held his breath, hoping that Carter might squeeze back.

She didn't.

Fraiser walked past him and paused, squeezing his shoulder tightly. Jack looked up at her.

"Hang in there, Colonel. Sam's doing it. We can all do it too."

Those words grated rather than soothed. Jack knew she had meant the opposite of what he felt.

"It's hard, doc." he said gruffly.

"I know."

Fraiser walked away, leaving Jack where he was sitting.

He stared at Carter for a while longer. He leaned forward and slid his hand over hers. He only did things like that when no one was watching. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate. But when no one was around and Carter wasn't aware, he felt that he could get away with it.

Carter's fingers were slim, dry, and cool. He squeezed them. Nothing.

"Damn it, Carter." he said quietly, even though they were alone in the room. "Can you just give me something? I'll do the sternal rub again, now that Fraiser's gone."

There was still no response. Jack pulled his hand back and stared at her some more.

"What are you doing in there anyway, Carter? Solving the mysteries of the galaxy? Because if this your idea of a vacation, it sucks."

Jack shocked himself with the venom in his voice. He hadn't intended to sound that harsh and bitter, but he found that he didn't really care. He knew that it wasn't Carter's fault. Not really. But, in some ways, he really did blame her.

Because she hadn't listened to him. Even though he had been injured, he had told her to go first. He had tried to put her safety ahead of his. But she had refused, he hadn't argued, and this had happened. It was no one's fault, not really, but Jack didn't see it like that. He couldn't see it that way.

It was his fault.

It was her fault.

It didn't matter, because whoever's fault it was, it landed them in the same place. He stared miserably at Carter, letting go of her hand and sitting back, just staring at her.

Daniel and Teal'c came back and Daniel had brought Jack a cup of coffee.

It was horrible, really, but you couldn't really expect anything better. Not in a hospital. Jack was used to such fair, since the Air Force probably bought their coffee in bulk from the same places hospitals did. It gave him something to do other than stare at Carter.

"Sometimes it just downright sucks to care about people." he said to Daniel.

Daniel looked at him with eyes that were wide behind his glasses and even Teal'c turned his head. It wasn't something that you were supposed to say out loud, but Jack was willing to bet that every human in the history of their entire race had thought or felt that at one point or another. And you shouldn't have to feel evil for saying such a thing. For thinking it. Because it was human nature.

"What do you mean, Jack?" Daniel asked, shifting slightly in the way he always did before big, important conversation was launched.

"I mean...I care about Carter." Jack shifted, dangling his coffee cup between his knees. "You both know I do. But...sitting here. Waiting to see if she wakes up or dies! It sucks."

"Jack, she would do the same for us."

"I'm not saying she wouldn't. But Carter's smart. I'm pretty sure if it was one of us laying in that bed, she would think that it sucks too."

Daniel looked almost appalled. Teal'c arched an eyebrow slightly. Jack scowled at them. He wasn't going to let them make him feel like a monster just because he was saying out loud. He didn't think that either of them really wanted to be here when it came down to it. The only reason they were here was because of Carter. And the fact that she would do the same for them.

He wondered if there would be a day when they all did just stop coming. Leaving Carter alone in the hospital was a horrible thought, but they were going to have to go back on the mission list sooner or later. They weren't supposed to be hanging around Earth, even if their team was one person short.

Jack sipped his coffee, deciding not to pursue the conversation. It made him feel uncomfortable. That was something that was rare for him, but it was something that he didn't want to talk about if they were both going to keep looking at him like that. He shouldn't have been getting those looks just because he was the one that had the guts to say what they were all probably thinking or feeling or had, at one point or another.

Four months wasn't long. Four months was an eternity.

Weren't you allowed to feel things after an eternity?

Jack thought you had the right to. But maybe you had to wait longer to have the right to say them to your friends. Especially when they were about your other friend.

Daniel endeavored to have a conversation with the people in the room that could most definitely hear him, but Jack felt that it was a lost cause. He wasn't much in the talking mood now. Teal'c did respond to Daniel, but having a full-length conversation with Teal'c led to you providing most of the words.

Jack was a little annoyed when Daniel started singing in a different language.

"For crying out loud, Daniel! What are you?" he demanded.

Daniel wasn't the best singer in English and hearing it in another language didn't improve things.

Jack's comment made Daniel stop and regard him seriously through his glasses. He seemed annoyed with Jack, which meant that Daniel was feeling the stress of being here too. Usually the archaeologist had patience at least a mile long. His reserves could usually run five miles, on a good day.

"Coma patients can respond to singing better than speaking, sometimes."

Jack wanted to ask him the proof of that, but he was pretty sure that he would be treated to some long-winded explanation about a medical article or study or something that he really just did not want to hear right now.

"Is that so." he said instead.

"Yes." Daniel said, scooting his chair closer to the bed. "I think it's because singing is one of the earliest forms of language we all hear, especially in a sleep state. Most of our parents sang to us when we were babies. Some of us had mothers who sang to us before we were even born. Song...it can be powerful, Jack. It's meangingful. Not just to an individual, but to an entire race. Don't you think something that amazing could help?"

He honestly had no idea, but he didn't have the energy to argue. And he wasn't going to be an ass about it. If Daniel wanted to sing to Carter, then he was going to. Jack wasn't going to argue or tell him it was stupid. Because there was a part of him that hoped it would work.

So, instead, he just made a suggestion.

"Then how about in English, then? Carter knows English. Anything her parents sang to her would have been in that."

Daniel looked surprised by this, but nodded. He switched the language and resumed singing.

Jack didn't recognize the song. He had a feeling that Daniel was translating it into English from whatever language he'd been signing it in originally. It had that sound to it. Jack just listened. Maybe Daniel was right. He didn't know. He didn't ask.

Jack felt like he needed to stop questioning things. Stating his own opinion on them. He was doubting, questioning, debating. He didn't think that anyone appreciated it. He wasn't trying to say that their efforts didn't mean anything. He just didn't understand why they thought they would, after so many things had failed. Daniel would say that they were getting closer to what would work. Jack would say that they were just running out of options.

He had no clue when his outlook on things had become so bleak. He had a feeling that it had been around week two, but he wasn't going to ask the others.

When Daniel got tired of singing, they talked a little. It was stilted. It was awkward. It was all that they had.

Finally, after a few hours, it seemed that Daniel and Teal'c had had a enough. Jack couldn't blame them. Usually, they stayed a few hours when they could and then they left.

"You coming, Jack?" Daniel asked.

Usually they would walk out together. Maybe go get a meal at their favorite diner or something, which never felt quite right without Carter there with them. This time, Jack waved them off.

"No. I think I'll stay around for a bit longer." he said.

"Okay. Well...if you need to, you can call me later. We could have beers or something."

That was pretty much code for 'we can feel our feelings and not have to be ashamed even if we should be' and Jack wasn't sure that he wanted to do that today.

"Maybe."

"All right. Bye."

"Bye, Daniel."

"Goodbye, Colonel O'Neill. Major Carter."

"Bye, T."

After that, Jack was left alone with his comatose second-in-command and the beeping of machines. He didn't like it. He should have just left with the other two. But something was compelling him to stay this time. He had no idea what.

After at least half of an hour of shifting restlessly, thinking about leaving and not, Jack inched his chair closer to the bed. He took Carter's hand again.

His singing voice was worse than Daniel's, so he didn't even try. Instead, he decided to hum a little. Nothing fancy or meaningful. Just a song that he'd heard on the radio driving to the hospital today. He stopped fairly quickly.

"Can you even hear that, Carter? Or am I just making a fool of myself?" he asked.

He, of course, received no response. He hadn't really had any faith that he would.

Carter's hand was cold and Jack rubbed it between both of his, resuming his humming, switching songs when he hit the end of the one he was doing.

He had no idea how long he was doing this, trying to warm Carter's hand up and humming, because he wanted Daniel to be right. He idly glanced up at Carter's face.

His heart nearly stopped.

Blue eyes were watching him.

"Carter?" he said, voice suddenly hoarse.

Those eyes were a little more than half way open and bleary, but they were most definitely watching him.

"Carter, can you hear me?"

Her eyes slid closed, but the heart monitor kicked up a little. Not a lot, but enough that it was a response.

"Hey. Hey, Carter. Don't go back to sleep. Look at me."

She didn't respond. Jack debated and then rushed to the doorway and leaned out into the hallway.

"I need a doctor in here!" he shouted loud enough to startle some people and disturb the peace of the ward.

Not caring, Jack rushed back to Carter's side.

"Open your eyes." he encouraged. "Come on, Carter. I'll make it an order."

For the first time in four months, Jack's order worked.

Carter's eyes opened again. Still bleary. But those eyes were open for the first time since she had been shot and they were looking right at him. Jack needed them to keep looking at him.

He shifted so that his eyes were more level with Carter's, so she could see him better, everything inside of him feeling like it was quivering with relief and hope that had been rekindled from a few measly embers to a roaring bonfire in the span of a few seconds.

Brown met blue. It was fierce competition. One was encouraging the other to stay while one was struggling to even remain open.

"I'm right here, Carter. I'm right here. Don't go away again, okay? Just stay awake for me."

He wanted to beg her, but encouraging and ordering seemed like a better strategy.

Carter's fingers twitched a little, as if only now registering that he had been rubbing her hand. Her eyes stayed on his, for all of another thirty seconds. Thirty seconds that felt like an eternity.

Then Carter sighed heavily, as this were all too much of an effort, and her eyes slid closed again. Her head rolled slightly on the pillow, into a more comfortable position.

And Jack was just left there, staring, just as helpless as he had been since the day those eyes had first closed.

Author's Note: Ugh, I spent so long on that ending! I wanted it to be right. I'll answer any questions at the top of the next chapter.

Also, the next chapter of 'Come Now, Little One' is up for anyone who wants to read it.

Please review!